#2072 - Stavros Halkias


8 months ago




Stavros Halkias

2 appearances

Stavros Halkias is a stand-up comic and host of the podcast "Stavvy's World." Catch his new Netflix comedy special "Fat Rascal" on December 5, 2023. https://www.stavvy.biz

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8mo ago

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Episodes from 2023

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Joe & Stav Try to Solve a Mystery


8 months ago

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It's their own blend. Some kind of tobacco thing. Yeah. Let's go live, you sort this out. Yeah, come on, you know how podcasting works. Wasting all this beautiful, sorting, we use every part of the buffalo. We missed this entire Jamie ordering a half cow. What's wrong with the cow? I love that. I'm with homesteader, I'm with prepper Jamie. Jamie's got canned peaches in his basement. I thought it was a Texas thing. But getting a half a cow? Yeah. Well, it is. Well, one of the beautiful things about living around here is that there are a bunch of really good ranchers. And you could buy meat from someone who you know. They grew the cow. You know they didn't pump it full of antibiotics and hormones. There's a lot of grass fed ranchers out here. That's nice. I think that's what I was thinking one day. I would love a nice, I would love a nice looking grass fed ribeye. Oh, better grass. I'm a big fan of the grass fed ribeye. But most people are so used to corn fed though. You get that pinkish sort of pattern. Do you know the difference between prime? I do not. I do not. Wait, what's it? There's been corn fed and grass fed. Grass fed is how they normally eat. That's how a cow usually eats. They just eat grass. But then when they want to really plump them up quickly, they feed them corn. So most steaks, if you go to like a steakhouse unless they specify it's corn fed or grain fed. Got you. Yeah The BBL the BBL cow trough fucking corn fed I like my yeah a grass fed is nice But I couldn't tell you the difference. They're darker. It's a little chewier. It tastes better to me I like the flavor more the B, who is the fucking first doctor? That was like, I know what to do with this extra fat. It's like a, how a baby would be a doctor? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, let's put it in their cheeks. Have you seen one in real life, though? I have. [2:00] And that was pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you get them fresh, BBL's are like, BBL's are like fish. You know what you want them. Yeah, you don't want them. You don't want them hanging out too long. You don't want too many kids. You know what I mean? Like, but if you get them right after Dr. Miami, you know what I mean? You get them four months after healing. Oh, some pretty cool stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's right aged beef. Yeah, exactly, exactly. You got to look at that perfect 30 day mocks. You scrape off that weird top part. Yeah, yeah. And underneath there's a nice bubbly butt cheeks. It is funny to fuck somebody with a huge ass when your dick is so little though. It's like, my dick was like being stopped by the cheeks. My head was probably this much in her pussy. That makes sense. It really has to really constantly tightening up the butt cheeks and keeping that board to us. Yeah. You don't have too much laxity on the back end. No, no, no. You don't have to have a rigid wall. No, like you're only going back it, DOOM. I'm back in. I'm back in. I have to get my deadlift formed down just so I can [3:05] fuck a girl with a huge ass. I think kettlebell swings. Okay. It's all on the hips. Okay. No, kettlebell swings. It's a hip hinge. Well, that's what you want to work on. I think carrying a gigantic stomach has to kind of strengthen the back. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean it destroys your back too. Yeah. But for those, so there's 45 seconds when I'm in those fake butt cheeks. It's pretty good. Well I was thinking that about like Ralphie May used to have the most fucking gigantic calves and I was like Ralphie, if you lost weight, you'd be able to kick through a fucking wall. Bro, check these, if you've seen these little bad boys. Let me see these bad ones. This is awesome. This is what I'm coming on the show for Apps check these fuckers. Let me see the camera. What I put them up here. Yeah up there. Oh Jesus Christ Oh my god, that's massive look at those but it makes sense. Yeah, I mean you're basically rocking all day [4:02] What's rocking? Rucking is like when guys hike with a heavy heavy heavy backpack. Oh, yeah It's great cardio absolutely. Yeah, you're rocking. I'm doing a 34 year rock We're shedding it any day now bro if you lost weight you'd have fucking tremendous leg power. Oh, yeah I got to get in there Bart looks great. He really does. He's sending us a picture today. He's down to 230. He drinks one day a week. That's it. And he says he's on a strict carnivore diet. Inter, do you think his vices will undertake him? Yeah. Yeah, there's no chance. He just takes him all back. He just said it. He's gonna gain all back to it so we can try to lose it again because you're something to do. I mean that's good. How about being on a constant world tour? Is that something to do, Bert? Yeah, that seems a little lunatic to you too. I know. Well, you know what I meant, Bert, Bert didn't have any money. And now Bert is rolling in dough. And I just think he just likes that too much and he wants that to keep coming. And it's like, you know, to go from a guy who, you know, really didn't do well on the road to now all [5:08] sudden you selling out clubs, now all sudden you selling out theaters, now you're doing fucking arenas. Four or five nights a week. It's insane. I get it. I get it. It's fun. Yeah, it's, it feels like, because I did the fully loaded tour. I did a weekend on it was insane so much fun, but it does feel like if a guy who was like working funny bones Got a wish from a genie to sell out arenas. Yeah, he would behave the way birds behaving I mean he's having the best time he's He's very happy. It's all yeah, you can't even because my aunt and I am that my instinct is to be like Dude you got to slow down, but you I was with him He's the only one having the best time up. You know what I mean? It's like he's the having the best time in the fucking world Everyone's like oh we gotta get fucked up again bird I'm on the fucking dude. I was literally napping in the bunk on mushrooms and was like, I have to go do an arena right now. [6:06] I was like, I just want to chill, man. This is too much. Well, he has a different constitution than most humans. It's crazy. It's gotta be genetic. There's something going on there that he must have a long line of people from his ancestry that imbibed. You know, absolutely. He could just put it away. No, it's crazy. And he could put it away and just be hanging out with you. And you're like, how many fucking drinks have you had? Him and Gillis. Shane's out of control. Bro, he sat here with Ari. And when Ari tried to go beer for beer with him, and he was, he was 16, 17 beers in, and the guy doesn't even have the floor is worse. No. Also, he's giant. He's huge. Big fuck a dude. Yeah. And also, it's garbage. It's garbage for a lot of flesh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or he's a sickly old man. That's elder abuse to do that to R.E. R.E. seems like he's 50 years older than me. And he's younger than me by quite a bit. He's at How old are you? The art is like 45 I don't know Google are you here? [7:08] Looking up into the what do you think that they look like? That's search looks like you Google are severe 49 49. Oh, yeah, well, he's got to like he's a man who's like his jeans are he should be a rabbi I mean he looks like a wrap. What is on the way? It's crazy. Yeah, that's what he wasbi. What, he was on a V.A. That's crazy. That's what he was gonna do. I mean, he was literally studying the Talmud like 12 hours a day. He did the whole deal. Like, he went to Israel and he was on his, he was very religious. When I met him, he was just breaking out of that. Wow. How long ago is this boy? When did ours first start coming to the store? Look at that. That's not a rabbi The beard the beard's amazing the beard's amazing his posture. Yeah, the beard is incredible. Yeah I think I met him [8:01] Boy, I guess it had to have been in the 2000s. Makes sense. Like maybe 2000, 2001. Okay. So that was somewhere around 23 years ago. 23 years ago and Ari was like, yeah, Ari was like 25. And he had lost his religion. I'm not sure, because we didn't really start talking about that until afterwards when we became better friends. I just knew him as a door guy at the store. Just really smart dude. I remember talking to him, oh, it's motherfuckers on the ball. He's smart. Before 23 years of destroying his brain. He's still smart, but it's like, you know, when you talk to people For me at least When I'm talking to like a door guy or an open-micro guy I have all the hope in the world for you I really do but there's some dudes you talk to you like oh this guy's so dumb. Yeah, it's not happening Doll his mind's not working well or he's just like leaping to stupid conclusions [9:02] Or he doesn't have a thing you You try and slip them into a snack. You never know. You never fucking know. A pressure from HVAC. You never know. Some of them fucking find mushrooms and crack through. That's how they do it. It does. It does happen. Right? I've seen some guys all like he's not gonna make it and they make it. And they're like, wow, but you kind of look at them Sam and going up river. Oh yeah. How many motherfuckers get past the grocery store? Your bare food baby. That's coming out of a motherfuckers fangs. But I remember talking to Ari the first time I talked to him and I was like, oh, this fucking dude's clever. He's smart. And then once we became friends and he started telling me he's back right now, then I was fascinated. I know. So what made you give up on this? You know? No, he's talked about it. I don't remember the exact, whether it was a A moment or where it was multiple moments where he gave up on it. Maybe getting pussy for the first time. But Brown, is he such a freak? Is he imagining? Yeah, I wonder when he got buzzing. But I think it was like when he was like 25. But his fucking special, Jew, is so good. Well that's what I was gonna say about what this conversation we're having. [010:06] Not only was it so good, and it was like so interesting to hear from that, but I also felt like he just scratched the surface. Like I feel like there's so much more in that, like self-reflection in 100%. He could do Jew too. 100%. Jew to electric boogaloo. And he could do a better than that. Electric juggaloo, I'm sorry. It's me. It's me. Where's Mark when you need him? It's comedy. Oh my God, fucking the text message chain that I have with him and Shane. We have a protect our parts text message chain. Oh yeah. And every now and then he'll fucking chime in with a Norman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These figures, his fucking brains different than anybody's. Yeah, it's the most like he's just looking for a pun. First or most. Well, he's just a real comedian. I mean, that's the guy is. You can't get him to do anything else. No, I do. His wedding was hilarious. I bet he's, dude, he's, I see it. Like you can tell he's a guy who's trained himself on, you know, deflecting, never like being emotional [011:06] or being honest or not honest, open. And then dude, he was so uncomfortable in what's supposed to be the best moment of your life. He's just like, there's no way to do a pun. Like he was squaring. It was like, I was, I was like, oh my God. He's out of these hearings. It just be, tell his wife how he loved her. And he's just like, can I call our gay? Yeah. You know he would have preferred to be like, love you, homo. Yeah. Yeah, he probably would have preferred that. But it was a great wedding. Yeah, women get upset if you don't take that thing very seriously. Yeah. If you call her fatty in your vows That sounds totally like something he would do and she'd be screaming ever He killed those an incredible wedding that's awesome. Yeah Weddings a touch and go they can be great or they can be the shulks is was awesome. Oh, I'm sure that's a very That's a motherfucker that knows how to you know celebrate, you know, yeah, he knows how to put stuff together [012:04] He had sushi by scratch the cater it to celebrate. Yeah, he knows how to put stuff together. He had sushi by scratch, cater it, it was awesome. Yeah, sushi at a wedding. That's really good sushi too. It's like, you know, a lot of comics were there, a lot of our friends were there. It was a good time. That's a great time. Is it Monocito? You ever been to Monocito? Oh my God. I don't even know what the fuck that is. It's in California. It's like a bup-sam, it's like in the Santa Barbara area. Okay. It's one of the most beautiful areas of California. And Italian immigrants came there and it reminded them, I think of the Amalfi coast and they sort of recreated this sort of Italian style. It was like really good Italian restaurants. Good, it was like Italian style domestic of homes. Sorry, not that. Not American. That's the savage ones. Those are the savage ones that got in the boats. Yeah. They're different, bro. Italians in Italy and Italians in America are very fucking dope. Oh yeah. It's interesting. Have you go to Italy a lot or? [013:01] Yeah, I used to go every year. Hell yeah. Yeah. This last year I used to go every year hell yeah, yeah, yeah, this last year I went to Greece for the first time. Oh, where'd you go? We went to a bunch of the islands beautiful We went to Delos. We went to go to the temple. Yeah, we went to all that stuff. Yeah, man I was fascinating. It's so interesting being in the ruins of a Place where these people thrived here 2500 years. It's fucking wild. That's what I love about the, like even though it's the thing everybody knows about, go to the Parthenon and go into that neighborhood where it's like you go over those cobblestones, you're like some fucking guy, some like 4-8 Athenian who's fucking just going up these steps fucking fetching water just having a shitty day Anointed his fucking girlfriend, you know what I mean leather sandals on yeah leather sandals on He's running laid to his tutoring session slash getting molested appointment Children like huh I better get the fucking I better get these I better get these fucking [014:04] Formulas writer he is gonna have his way with me this time. Yeah, not only was Peter Felia, okay. But it was openly discussed. Yeah, great. Great, they had boy lovers. Yup, you were made fun of if you got, continued to get fucked in the ass past adolescence. Really? Yeah, yeah, they were, they were, Oh, you silly boy. It's like, what are you, you're being a fucking little kid. What are you, you know, homo? What are you being, you're being childish getting fucked in the ass. Is that true? Dude, I swear. Is that documented? I, now it's documented. I read gonna told it to you the last time I was on. That is so insane though. But if you go back and read in history like Socrates, how many of these guys had boy lovers? Probably all of them. Probably. It's fucked up. What you had to people realize that's terrible. Like 20 years ago? [015:00] It's probably about 20 years ago. Dude. No, it's fucked up. You you know, you would read in like, you know, your sociology books where it's like, there's places where that's fucking, you know, you know, where they're like, we can't, you know, these primitive people that we make contact with or like these people that don't have technology. It's like half of them are still doing that. Oh yeah. Well, there's new guinea You don't you do you know about the semen warriors of New Guinea? Take it by your laughs that you do not what a fucking epithet the semen warriors There's a tribe in pop out New Guinea that when a child becomes six or seven They take them away from their mother and they bring them to an older man who becomes their anal father and they bring them to an older man who becomes their anal father. Uh, their anal father. Anal father. Okay. And they believe that the only way for a boy to grow strong, he has to ingest semen in his asshole and in his mouth. No, no way. No way. So these kids are just sucking cock and getting butt fuck from six, seven on. [016:01] That's what. Yeah. And it's a literal tribal tradition. Yeah look at my boy Look how he puts down that cock you think there's there's like proud father's the tier coming down as I don't They get to watch I don't know what happens with the dads. I guess the dads I think I guess everybody's just used to it. Yeah blood-letting ceremony involves beating the boys with long sticks on their nostrils until they bleed. That way, the women's tingu is completely gotten rid of. Once this is done, he's made to perform oral sex on the older ones, which they do not stop until they take in the semen. And just in the semen will make them stronger. More so, they are kept aside for three years and maintain a strict diet to make them stronger Defiance against this from the boys usually involves death. They've died. They've bred Straitness out of their tribe. Jesus Christ. They fucking killed them if they don't want to get their mouth fuck Dude what how bad would this be if the guy who's fucking your mouth can't get hard? [017:01] You know what I mean? You're like all right. He's like all right. Can you give me a second here? I got to just the guys just jacking off. All right. Give me a sec. Hey, what? Can you get my nipples back to my mommy? I want to go back to my mommy. Sorry. You better hope you get a real pedophiles and join himself. I bet there were all real pedophiles. I guess You're right. That's a fucking rough way to live You see that guy the guy from New Zealand. That's the guy you got to suck off. Yeah Yeah, would fucking bore Tusks woven into his nose that's brutal fuck dude Yeah, so do you see that got there's a guy in New Guinea that's He was kidnapped and they just made a video about him today or it just uh... just saw it there should say where these guys that there's like thirty dudes around pointing a rifle at him and he's some journalist from new zealand and they've had him hostage for ten months and they tried like military operations to get him they've all failed [018:04] and you know now they're making demands and this is like Have you seen it James? No, I haven't heard the best at all. I'm seeing a story from February of this year He's a journalist and he's there in New Guinea. Where was it from Australia? Is he a professor? I mean, there's a few people stories Y'all there's a kid that but a shitload of people out there Those guys go What for a fairer? What's a good question? You know what I mean? Here's stories from, I think once they go there, they kidnap them. Rest in mission underway. Rebels claimed New Zealand pilot taken and Indonesia's Papa. And why would you go exactly? Well, there's a lot of people that have been there before because they, you know, these fucking knuckleheads they think that they're you know they're gonna look experience this amazing culture and these people live a horrific war like yeah existence go to Monocito go to where shult's got married I'm trying to find this for you Jamie I know I got it that's fucking [019:02] Twitter to I see some things but I'm looking for specifically what you're saying like Yeah, there's a here is I got it. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Look at this poor motherfucker. Oh my god damn They got right New Zealand pilots. Yeah, yeah Hope by the rebels and West poppin region Is that a jammy? Here's the video. I'm sending the video. How do you phone his hands? Look at that shit man, he fell into the hands of the Liberation Army after landing his sushi air single engine planar remote air strip the mountain's province of Duga while supporting locals get home to remote parts of the country. Wow We're trying to fuck oh man, and he's got he's wearing the drip, dude. He's got the papa shirt on Yeah, he's got to he's's like, how much you guys? They probably can't even read it. We don't know what that means. Give us money. I want money and all my brothers return to me. We will fuck your mouth. We fucked your mouth. No matter what we fucked your mouth. That we started mouth-fucking. Let us make a deal. We'll let you go if you come back every three months. I'm not going to die. [020:07] Damn. I'm not going to die. I'm going to die. If you don't die, I'll die. Damn. I'm not going to die. And I'm going to die. I'm not going to die. And this dude probably can't even understand a word when he's saying, he's being pretty cool for... Let me hear his voice, Jamie. It's interesting. I think he's been there for 10 months. That's brutal. Fuck, dude. What do you think they let... How does he wipe his hands? I think he's been there for 10 months. That's brutal. Fuck, dude. What do you think they let... How does he wipe his hands? I think they let him wipe his hands. Damn, that poor dude. He's been there for 10 months. That's brutal. Fuck, dude. What do you think they let, how does he wipe his ass? Like even the most minor parts. I bet he doesn't. I bet he doesn't. I bet he doesn't even bother anyone. He just shits and puts his fucking shitty drawers back on. He's probably got one sock on. [021:01] What's he eating? Like even the most basic stuff let alone the 10, they're the 40 guys with rifles. Yeah, that dude lives in hell. And I wonder if he can speak their language. I wonder if he understands that they got some pretty sophisticated rifle in there. Yeah, they look, I gotta say, they look cool. Yeah, those are serious. They're fucking sick. Those are serious guns. Let's make these guys the villains in an action movie. Yeah. They would be fucking awesome. Let's get this guy out of there. This is like so crazy. They're all just no trigger discipline. All fucking pointed at him. They have their fingers on the triggers. Look at this guy on the left hand side. You're not supposed to do that. You do that before you shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't keep your finger on the right there. Look guys his finger on the trigger look ready for one twitchy movement close to That's so crazy. They all have their fingers on triggers. This feels like a Chris Hemsworth movie waiting to happen Send the fucking jack thought. Yeah, I've traction three Boy that that's that's not end well. Mm-hmm. I would do horrible in kidnapping setting [022:04] Did you get kidnapped on a fucking island? I'm not getting I'm not coming out. Oh my god. I would like to get my sick. Yeah. I mean I guarantee you can't drink the water that they can drink no way. You know like you don't probably don't like There's people in certain parts of the world that are used to drinking dirty water and they can survive Dirty water for whatever reason. Yeah, what don't know what the fuck that's all about. They're like a horse. Yeah. You take a horse up to a river, they just drink out of the river. Some people can do that. We lost that a long time. Too much clean water from the junk. If we were drinking bullshit from the beginning, we should be back to drinking puddle water. Yeah. Hell yeah dude. That was talking. Straight out the American gut bio. That'll bring us back. Yeah, that'll bring us back. What brings us back at this point? I'm fucking worried about America. I really am. I've never been worried about America in Dakota. After COVID, I was like, oh, this might be the end. This might be just like when you go to visit Greece and the Parthenon, you're like, what happened? Where's everybody? You guys left behind, it was fucking dope ass building. [023:07] They literally left it behind. This is the first photo released back in March when they first got them. He looks remarkably chill, I have to say. Jesus Christ, look at the size, they're arrows. Look at this one. The arrows are like seven feet long, that's nuts. I still I really I know I shouldn't be empathizing with these guys but they look fucking awesome. They look pretty bad ass. You know what a fuck with those dudes. No way. But they're pointing at random shit. Look they're looking down their scope. They're pointing to. They're pointing at their friends. Some of them are pointing at each other. I shoot the log and this guy shooting at the other guy's dick. Look at him. He's got his- Oh, he's got the trigger discipline though. The guy pointed at his friends has good trigger discipline. But the guy to his right, to his right, to the left, that guy's got his fucking- He's, I could see the tension in his finger from our- Back out looks awesome. He's so nervous. He's like, I wanna be hell. Brutal stuff. [024:06] 10 months of that, fuck. And how do they get you out without getting killed and them killing you? It's probably really hard to do. Because they realize how valuable it is to have some westerner that they've got kidnapped. Yeah. What is the whole deal? What do they want? Yeah. I'll try to find something out. This is probably not gonna show it on this article. What are the demands? I was involved in talks to free a kidnapped kiwi pilot. Is that him? Wow, this fucking guy's been there forever. He's now been held hostage. This was four months. This was back in June. He's been there since February 7th. Holy shit. Damn dude. since February 7th holy shit damn dude the West Papal National Independence Army kidnapped him February 7th demanding Indonesia recognized West Papal's independence oh these guys fucked he's fucked he's gonna die I was hoping maybe they'd want a couple fucking hot pockets maybe some nutter butters [025:00] recognize our independence oh bro you're gonna have to kill that white boy. He's done dude. I got He's got no chance. That's ridiculous Or you could just be like all right. We did it like truly just Yeah, they're holding in there holding in so maybe they like the guy now He seems like a baddies of dreams like a chill guy to be honest with you Boy probably legitimately is there trying to help people, so he's probably good dude, which sucks even more that he got, yeah, not some guy. Yeah, not some guy trying to like start new slavery in pop up, like the guy, you know, some guy was over there trafficking Filipino girls, you know. Right, right, right, let him go. Yeah. Why don't they fake a news broadcast? They probably have one flat screen TV, those guys. Pop in a USB. I don't know. I mean, I think there are a lot more sophisticated than we think. Yeah, probably. I think in this day and age, you can't pull the wool over anybody's eyes. With cell phones? I bet they have cell phones there. 24 hours, let's pretend West Poppa, whatever the fuck is I'm gonna put a fucking satellite right above me get starling [026:07] Yeah, one fuck yeah, let's do that what fucking bemen see it wolf blitzer being like all right They're a fucking country now have you know what I mean that guys free all right. I'm got this I'm in charge of this the most recent update about what's his situation because I think he's dead some people think he's dead So he's still alive, very healthy. Okay, I just received a message from our teamwork. Just a few minutes ago, and they said that he is still alive. He's very healthy at the moment. I'm about very healthy. Very healthy. We, the liberation fighters, give him very good hospitality, which is if he needs some medication or water or food or whatever, they will always provide since they captured him in February. We have our own humanitarian team inside the TPNPB, so that team looks after him as well being and welfare are top priority. Yeah, because he's your bargaining play. [027:01] But the thing is like, once this guy is dead, they're common folks. Yeah, they're coming for these folks. I would imagine like if that was an American like if that Oh, I would imagine Joey would have him dead that would that would fucking rally the troops Yeah, we get sealed team just blow in motherfuckers house. Yeah, everybody be wearing go pros Uh-huh, they'd be fucking they'd edit it awesome like an action movie Well, they wouldn't even have to hit the ground. I mean, there's no one else there But them they just fucking storm overhead and jets or just huge drones for the optics So it's gotta be a fun. The optics are pretty dope. It's gotta be a jacked guy with a huge beard Yeah, but I think the jack guys with the huge beers go in after the initial detonations right like the drones hit boom boom People are like it's just smoke everywhere and then some fucking jack seal for yeah an American flag tattoo or a fucking chest it's Rokas sunglasses yes yes give him a fake wound you know he's not [028:01] he's not hurt at all but we we fucking slices a uniform open and then an actor a paid actor one of the guys from Captain Phillips We get him to pretend he's one of them, you know Moon landing Yeah, total wrong accent everything. Yeah People like hey, man that guy's fucking that guy sounds fucking Mexican Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Well, that's the thing with deep fakes. They don't even have to fucking do that anymore. You're right. Deep fakes are so nuts. I know, dude. They're so nuts. I was watching this Greta Thurneberg deep fake one about electric vibrators. I was like, this is so crazy. I was watching Obama ice spice. That was pretty good His big fat ass. There's a Trump rap song out. Yeah, there's an AI Trump rap or Trump wraps Let's see I don't like that because it's taking jobs out of good good like a Trump impersonators You know what I mean that should be that's why I get a pocket [029:04] AI is gone too far Yeah, yeah, what happens with that guy with who Shane Trump Trump Shane's doing great. Shane's great. Yeah, bottomer Sadie. I know it's fucking awesome I went to it when I took him to the Mercedes dealership. I was I was the fucking hype man Dude I was in the back seat going dude. I was telling him I bought all the features dude the back wheel Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. He was so I went I when I was in the back seat going dude. I was telling him about all the features dude the back wheels Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. He was so I went I when I was here last when I was at the mothership I I just I wanted to hit the pool. I was like yo Shane. Let's fucking hang out and he wasn't there He's like you just go hang out in my house. I'm the first person to ever I was just alone in Shane's house doing fucking cannon balls into his pool looking at his car. I was just like, it was like going. That's awesome. Feel it. His house is dope. Dude, it's out of control. It's very nice. Beautiful place. Oh my God. I'm so happy for him. I'm so happy he's here too. Yeah. It's so awesome having him at the club all the time. Working on new shit. It's so awesome. It really is. It's so fun. [030:05] Yeah, it's nice to just pop in. You get the fucking, the bottom of the barrel shows fun. You just fucking riffing. The crowds are always good. Bottom of the barrel shows is literally like a factory for premises. You know, even if you can't recreate the moment like some in there. Because a lot of times it's like, there's a crazy moment that makes you go down a certain path. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you have to figure out how to get to that moment. Yeah, well when you're on stage, it's like, and you're not, you're only using, it's like survival mode. So it's like, you haven't pre-thought of anything and there's some deep part of your brain that just something awesome will come out of Yeah, 10% of the time, but that's enough. That's enough. That's a good shit right there. Every now and then. Yeah, I got two last week that are legit, that I'm watering them. Yeah, I'm like, okay, you're gonna be a trim on the little buddy. A little splint in it, one of the leaves is going fucking. It's the most fun thing in comedy, is that the new bits and new premises. Making something work. It's the only thing that feels good. [031:05] It's like even being like, you know, even a sold out theater, it's cool, but a new joke in a shitty bar feels 10 times better than selling out of 3000 seats. Yeah, when something cracks for the first time, you realize you've got something like, oh boy. Oh yeah. Cause like there's this process of creation that's just so weird. Like you never know, one day I'm gonna run out of new ideas. One day I'm gonna run out of new jokes. I'm gonna be like those guys, just have the same material for 50 years. I know. And that was what, I mean, it does feel weird because it's like, I do feel like the last 10 years, there's been a real shift in like you just got a fucking be putting shit out Well, there's so much content out there and there's also so many people that come to comedy now Yeah, I don't think comedy is ever been bigger ever. There's way more comics selling out arenas It's way more comics that have specials. Yeah, for example fat rascal on Netflix. Oh my god [032:02] That comes out tomorrow. Yeah Fat Rascal on Netflix. Oh my God, that comes out tomorrow. Yeah. That's right. That's right. That's that Rascal shot here in the beautiful Paramount theater. Great fucking really fucking awesome. Cool old school theater. Yeah dude, it was fucking insane. And Dini's got little fuck who Dini's hooks are up there. Oh my God. The mother fuck was in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was crazy. Wow, I didn't know who Dini came to Austin. Who Dini was out there, dude. Who Dini hit the road like Berk Chrysler. Yeah, there it is. It's true. Fat rascal. You look like Ron Jeremy, though. Yeah, I know. A little bit. I do. I have that vibe. I'm kind of a lot. That here, I'm over here. It's tough to be compared to a guy who was historically ugly, but his saving grace was a huge dick and my dick is little, not a great, not a great. Well, I think back then, porn stars, they wanted him to be ugly. So the guys didn't feel bad. They didn't feel so right now. Good looking guy. Like if you're at home, walking off and some good looking guys getting laid like fuck is this guy who does he think he is? [033:06] Look at him with a six pack piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you want a guy looks at Ron Jeremy. That's true. Maybe we can take it to the next level. Maybe there's little dick porn has to start now. I think there already have that in other countries. In other, you mean just all Japanese porn is that where you say that? You did. Whoa, I don't know why he said that. I had it. I felt it. It was weird about Japanese porn as they have to blur out the dicks in the vaginas. Yeah. They blur out penetration. Yeah, it was very strange. What happened? I don't understand it. I mean, what are you protecting by making confusion as to like whether or not someone's, I mean, you really don't have to have any real porn because it's all blurred out. Yeah, I mean, I will say I have jacked off to the blurred out porn. Interesting. And it's not. Yeah, now we're getting no other choice. Yeah, I don't know. Because you're a hard drive crash. Sometimes I'm in the zone, Joe. Sometimes you want to switch it up, you know? I like a big pillowy Asian titty to jack off to, you know? [034:06] And you can't really get the, you want to get those straight from the source, you know? You want to get Japanese stuff. They're making corn noises. Yeah. You don't want someone who's been BBL in the DDS. I don't, listen, I didn't say that. I'm just saying I want it all. Give me a sampler pack a little bit of that. A little bit of authentic. Grass fed. Authentic cuisine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you wanna go to Chinatown sometimes for my Chinese food. Absolutely, yeah, sometimes you wanna go to a kitchen. Yeah, you don't want a panda express. No, you wanna get the real deal. No, little panda express will hit the spot. It's not bad, I mean, if you're at the mall, you want Just taking the metaphor to its logical conclusion. Go as far as you can go with it. I support your thought process. But yeah, I will, I don't know. Sometimes I feel worldly jacking off to Japanese porn. You know, like watching a foreign film. Like a guy who like, yeah, a guy who brags about reading old books. Right, right. [035:00] Yeah, absolutely. It's like watching a good darn film or whatever, you know. When I first met Calon, I, first time I ever went over his apartment, he leaves books laying out as if he's reading them. Did they? He had like, steined back of my serenade. And I go, hey, motherfucker, I know you're not reading this. Also, that's what you're reading on your school. Because I browse raise, he goes, I do read it. I know you don't do you. You want people to think you're interested. See, you leave these books out. Yeah, which by the way, people, I mean girls. Of course, you want girls to think you're interesting. See, leave these books out, pertaining that you're like, worldly. You know what's so funny is that I have a, like an e-reader thing and I was reading like, you know, some book about, it goes really like about good fellows or some trashy, you're not even trash, but a detective thing. And then I switched it up to some smart on the outside. Some shit about civil rights. Or something like that. So the people didn't know, you can switch it on the outside. You can switch it on the outside. I have done that before. [036:01] What does the outside look like? It's just like a screen. So an outside look like? It's just it's just like a screen. So there's an outside screen too. Yeah, just just the screen right. A re-reader and it'll just show what you're reading right and I was reading like you know like some some fucking book about you know that oh I was reading about the song the Phoenix on seven seconds or less I read a lot of basketball books you know that kind of shit and then a girl was coming out I was system for the i don't even know what i have some book i started never even finished i think let's pretend i'm smart or even like shit girls like like uh... morocommie book you know what's a morocommie he's good he's those are good books to like dreamy japanese book back to the japanese thing it's a book about the guy does a lot of like magic it's like some magical realism shit it's all, it's like some magical realism shit. It's all about, it's always like a guy who, there's always like an insane woman who has like BPD and he always, it's always some nerd. And in the book, he, the nerd always fucks the girl really well. I don't know what that is about. Check it out, man. These are men without women. [037:00] Baruchim, we're a comic. Great stuff. What I talk about when I talk about running I haven't read that one huh Norwegian would Norwegian would no reason is work It's blurred out but he's the reason why Ron Jeremy had a career Just some blonde six-four guy Some Fabio looking motherfucker with a giant hog. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and Norwegian would he fucks two He fucks an old lady and a young woman. Wow. Yeah, that shows you what I'm getting out of literature, by the way. Just that it was. Who's the man Gary just getting pushed out of? There's some fucking like professor listening this, like that guy's dumb as shit. That's what he gets out of Murakami, but what can I say? Hey, they're nice dream-like books. Art is open to interpretation. Different people get different things. I'm a simple man. I see things with one lens. You should be you. Yeah. You should be those motherfuckers. How many professors of your method are happy? They seem perpetually conflicted. Yeah, just the ones tortured. Just the ones who fuck their students, I'm pretty sure. And they can't do that anymore. [038:00] Yeah. that was like the main reason to be a professor back in the Feynman days Yeah, those guys all bang their graduate students. That was like part of the thing It's like look really hot 22-year-old students that are enamored by this amazing professor with his PhD Full library of books. Yeah, probably hasn't read it You actually probably has read them which is more incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not running a scam. Exactly. That's the payoff. Yeah, you think in the application process or the interview process, they're like, look, we can't offer you that much money, but here's a picture of all the girls that got in this year. Here's the quality. No, not only did they get paid well, they get tenure. They can't even get fired. But I bet they can get fired now if they bang their students. Yeah, also I feel like higher, yeah I think higher ed in general is fucked. When do you think they stop banging their students? Was it the same time they stop fucking kids? Definitely after that. I think that was more recent. I think that was more recent. I think people are still picking their spots and fucking their students. [039:01] Really? I think it's up to grad student now though. I don't think you can fucking undergrad. When I was in high school my friend she was 17. She was dating a Spanish teacher. That's I mean that guy should go to jail. He was cool. He was the coolest Spanish teacher. Oh he's bringing in PA25. I mean relatively the age gap wasn't that big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still, she's a student at the school, but she's a little predator. Yeah. She was. But got crazy. I think at that time, it was the, that's the last hurrah. Oh, ladies. Yeah. Once people started reading about the effects of it, like, hey, this is kind of strange. Yeah, what do you,? Maybe fucking 21 year old. Yeah, and also if like you're a teacher and you can affect their grades. How often is that? Yeah, yeah. That must have been a big factor. Oh yeah. Big factor. Oh yeah. You're a professor. And if you're banging a student, you give her A's. [040:01] Yeah. Seems, you know. And if she's a sociopath and she just wants to get ahead no matter what. Sure. Yeah. Look, there's definitely, it's the thing where you're like, the guy's got to stop it because it's like, yeah, just because somebody wants to fuck you, doesn't mean it's right. Well, it's also like if you're a professor and you're, I mean, literally, you're setting up their career. And you just hold too much juice over whether or not they're gonna get an A and whether or not that's gonna allow them. In the power that it has all fucked. It's crazy. But it's also corruption. Because without a doubt, there has been grades that were given to people that professors fucked that they didn't deserve. Without a doubt. Without question. Without question. Without question. I need to do zero research to make this compliment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I'm doubling down. Yeah, so that alone, it's like imagine if you like hire someone for a firm and you're like, look, she's got straight A's. And's the pay gap. Well, they started there [041:06] There was an ad from like the 1950s about a secretary and it was something about has your boss been ignoring you Maybe you need to change your smell and like put different fucking deodorant on shit Literally advertising that a secretary's like that was the goal that a secretary had you tried to get the boss to fall in love Get a husband Yeah, yeah, yeah going to college and being a secretary for a while was just like all right If you don't if you don't graduate with an English degree and a husband you you fucking wasted your four years Yeah, I wonder if we're gonna look back in the future about women entering into the workforce and like being forced to do of Anyone's gonna make a long-term analysis of this shift in culture that that brought about because it pretty between that and birth control Yeah, so those two things just changed the options for women totally entirely [042:03] Like you know every time you have sex you don't have to worry about getting knocked up every time Imagine if you're a woman like a guy just wants a fucking you're like, I'm not. Yeah, I don't think we should do this You don't have a condom this you don't worry about pull out. Yeah, and meanwhile you might have all fucking human life Growns idea that's at least he's gonna whack off six hours from now 100% he's just trying to get rid of loads. Just trying to get the poison out. And if you're a guy, and when back in those days, you gotta imagine, it's hard for us to even contextualize what it must have been like before birth control. And then there's the other thing, the birth control pill is fucking terrible for them. Terrible for them. No, I know a lot of my friends will just go, they'll just be like, it's not worth it. If you get out of, you get out of your early 20s, no kid, you're like, all right, I can't do this to my fucking body anymore. Well, it changes the way you view the world. It changes the way what women are attracted to. It changes everything. You're ingesting a pill that tricks your body and the thinking you're already pregnant. [043:06] Which is just not so you're walking around but patchfully pregnant. Interesting. So you just want like to feel safe, I guess. I wonder. I mean, it's got to have some, I mean, there must be a way to, I mean, with really intelligent women of rationalized and understand what's going on. But for a lot of them, that shift in the hormonal balance, it has a significant impact on what you do. 100, no, that totally makes sense. I wonder why the fuck we don't have any like, sign me up for the guy pill. Let me be able to push. You don't want the guy pill. Because the guy pill kills you to testosterone. They gave a guy pill and the guy, it turned into a guy trans. Oh, the shoulders slump. Damn, you're even awesome. The tints would get great. It'd be juicy. You could fucking squirt on the lens. I feel like on the lens. I feel like there's no other way. There's got to wish there's like some fake vasectomy shit you could do or like. Well, there's a real vasectomy that you can do. [044:00] Guys can get their tubes tied and they supposedly can put them back together again. But it's not 100%. Yeah, they might not, it might be scar tissue. You don't want to freeze my... Frozen nuts not coming out. No, what kind of psychopath baby are you going to have with frozen nuts? This baby's been frozen, that nuts moving slow. Frozen for 30 years. Frostbitten. Bro, have you ever read in how many doctors use their own gizz and fertility plants? Crazy dude. It's nuts. What's even the fucking, the psychology of that is insane to me. I mean, I guess, because it's like, you think it's an animalistic thing to want to like spread your seat, right? On some like, evolutionary level. But we've taken your eight steps away from that. Where you're not even getting, like I could see the weird trying to fuck your patients. I like. Like meanwhile, they don't even want to know the kids. That's more amazing. They just literally want their shit out there. Well, Brett Weinstein, who's an evolutionary biologist, he explained to me the difference is [045:02] she's beautiful and hot. He goes, you know the difference you're beautiful and hot. He goes, you know the difference you're beautiful and hot. I'm like, there's a difference? Yeah. Like what's the difference? He goes hot is someone that's not going to require anything from you. You could just have sex with them right away. And that from an evolutionary perspective gives you an opportunity to spread your seed without having any sort of commitment. Yes. Whereas beautiful is someone that you want to settle down with and commit with. Redisons painting, little chubby lady in the corner. Yeah. You know what I mean? Ladies, we have a quick face. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, that thing that was lost to me. I never even thought about that before. Yeah, I guess I also, I guess I consider hot, more almost like dangerous on some level too. You know what I mean? Like the Megan Fox archetype of almost evil, you know what I mean? Like, she's a little scared. You know what I mean? She's got like a, No, tell me what you mean. Okay, so you ever see, she's got like the features where it's like, if she was a villain in something, You know what I mean? Like Jennifer's body, that horror movie. She was perfect for it. [046:05] Because it's like, there is an edge to her. You know what I mean? There's like an edge to someone who has like, who has like, you know, like almost femme fatale, but like not trying to hide what she is. She's just like, so just, yeah, I don't know. It just saw it. She saw it in your hands and that's that. Do you ever see that alien movie that she did? I think it's called Under the Skin. Oh, I haven't seen it. It's really good. She can definitely turn it on your right, but she also has kind of softer features too. There's an angular thing, Angeline and Jolie maybe. You know what I mean? There's an but there's like almost like, I guess the black widow feel to where it's like, man, leader, like this kind of thing where it's like, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch out boys, you'll choose. Yeah, exactly. Something like that, a song the two gay guys wrote. You know? The Scarlet Johansson, those guys are in a legal battle [047:01] with each other. Oh man, that's a shame. Sad. Hall of Notes. Hall of Notes. If they can't get along, who can? I know. Hall of Notes are doing a court. It's a really nice easy listening. Yeah. How's Hall of Notes fighting? That sucks, dude. Yeah. But that Scarlett Johansson movie, she plays an alien that kills people. An alien that kills them. Oh, I love that classic. It's really interesting. It's very original, very interesting moving. I haven't seen that one. Is that what's called under the skin? Show a clip of it. She's insanely hot. She's insanely hot. She's hot in the really intelligent hot woman. But you know, she almost stradigated. I think there's a definitely, but there's a softness there. I guess Big Titty's also what I'm talking about. Round nose. I guess I'm thinking about a sharp nose. Right, you're thinking of Nazis. Hahaha. Some bitch in leather. Should we put a foggy egg in my mouth? Hahaha. We're one of those SS helmets. Yeah. Oh shit. [048:01] Sounds pretty cool. Yeah. Oh damn. So she assimilates. Oh man, I would be toast. So she picks up these guys and takes them home. Come to me. Well what the fuck? Yeah. It's pretty interesting. It would be so easy to train an erotic and unnerving performance. It just shows you like if aliens wanted to take over. They would just have to be hot women. Dude. Hot manipulative women. So, and that's the thing it's like, yeah, just a hot woman. [049:02] See, that's the thing. She's not even like that evil thing I'm talking about because that would almost be two on the nose right you want just like a hot Nice woman who's just like a little bit soft and it's a little bit soft She has a little soft thru absolutely. You don't want the angular thing because that would do it wrong I would still get trapped but during the but going into I'd be like I'm probably gonna die right you go into it going I just probably not see I'm gonna die right you go into it going. That's probably not see Yeah, I mean the places I've gone for head are so scary like the fucking back I what I hooked up as one girl I didn't know at all off the internet who was like she was just like I was like What's your dress and she was like let me just drop you a. And I had to go through like an alley and do a back entrance. And I was like, you're getting 100%. And at the same time, I was like, I hope I don't get fucking killed. But I didn't stop. And then I went and I fucked it was cool. But I was like, damn, thank God. This would have been so easy, so many different ways I'm sure guys are getting got like that all the time. People get robbed off Tinder. What have you and you ever been? [050:06] What's the like a scary young Boston Joe, you ever go into like a fucking scary place to get sucked off? No, I'm lucky I never had. You're a girlfriend guy. I never had a situation where I was like going into a dangerous situation for sex. Never. You probably would get you're a cute kid. You're probably getting you. You're just boy friendly. Boy, boy hands some boy pretty. Uh, little flirty and slip. Boy friendly. It's all the pop-out new guinea talk. It's fucking, you had those soft lips. I've seen that little picking you with the fucking earring earring in the leather jacket. That's not good for comedy though. I'm funnier being ugly. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, when you get older, you're funnier. It's like, it's like, whether, like Matt Rife. Yeah, he takes a lot of shit. Yeah. Cause he's too beautiful. Yeah, tough. Yeah. Yeah, all handsome, perfect hair. Mm-hmm, you know? It's too handsome. He's a handsome, squidward, Joel. People shit on him If he was a little guy with glasses doing the same act, no one would be mad at him. Yeah, but he also proud, he wouldn't get as much attention though. [051:07] That's the double ed, that's the double edged sword, right? Right. It's like a bunch of like, you know, horny women aren't coming out to fight. That's true. To a nebyshy, to a 20 year old Aari that you met with Matt Wright's act. He's got that going for like the audience is like half milves totally I would it's on a milk thing. I might put it over half. Yeah, it's a lot of like older ladies Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're still hot totally. Yeah, that's nice like a hot grandma. I love a hot grandma hot 46 year old grandma It's pretty hard to be. Oh, yeah, I had him young Teen mom Kids 18 and now she sees that young Matt Rive's like mmm yummy absolutely Yeah, had him young, sweeten mom, teen mom, who's kid, all right kids, 18. And now she's that young mat rives like, mm, yummy. Absolutely. I think that is who gets milk. Milves are not into me. I do get a, it's younger women or into me just because I think it's like, the milves want a little got, like a little handsome to feel like young again. [052:01] And I think like hot younger women want like fun. Just the fun, you know? They want laughs. Little daddy thing to you, you're a big fat piece of shit. They like that. The thing about comics though, I think the big one is that they're funny and that's what's attractive. Because totally. You know, like what's the percentage of women that are funny? It's a smaller percentage than God. Probably. For whatever the reason he is funny women out there don't give me wrong which is being honest well i think we have to grade on a curve it's probably getting it's probably goes back to the whole what we were talking about with like secretaries and shit right up until very recently you kind of had to play a subservient role where like if you were funnier than a guy you had to hide it like you weren't you weren't you weren't like rewarded for it until probably 20 years ago. You know what I mean? Like what about rich women? Yeah. What on rich women start dating guys who have regular jobs? Like what is that? That's gotta be insane. I bet you some of them like I think because the women who are like they like it. Yeah. You think it do likes it? If he knows what's good for him, send me up. Let me be a kept man. That's how it's fucking awesome. The thing is, if the man has his own dreams of greatness, [053:09] overrated. No, we're fucking rated. Let me suck on a pair of freshly redone titties. Let me tend to the pool. You know what I mean? Let me fucking throw on some fucking cocoa melon with our son, your job raised. That I raised. That I did. Happily. Yeah. We're the fucking smile on my face, dude. That's hilarious. I would love a high powered woman who's just like, doesn't, isn't, thinks comedy stupid. You know what I mean? Like, is it, I think I would. What if she start telling you stop going on? No, I Yeah, that's but that's what comedy stupid leads to it, but I would be like yeah, you're right I mean I might as well have an issue right now really hot hot girlfriend And she's like you don't need to go out tonight. He's like I do though. Yeah, she's like me you went out last night He's like yeah to the worst the job. This is how I get better. I have to like you can come with me [054:00] Maybe maybe this not stupid, but like Would prefer if I doesn't mind the work ethic, but thinks it's like, you know, a low, a low, like, doesn't have any like, respect for the art form. You know what I mean? I don't have respect for it. That's what I'm saying. It wouldn't be hard to find. No, that would be easy. A rich world. Comedy is one of the like, the most disparaged art forms. It's very odd in that it's one of the most difficult things to do. It's one of the most widely enjoyed things. Very enjoyable. Very enjoyed. Like people fucking love comedy, but no one takes it seriously in terms of like when you see someone who's a serious musician, like there's just a level of respect for an elite guitarist. Yeah, you know, like a fucking Stevie Ray Vaughn or Gary Clark Jr. There's a level of respect like wow. Yeah, yeah. You know, like a fucking Stevie Ray Vaughn or Gary Clark Jr. There's a level of respect like, wow. Yeah. That motherfucker, like they know their craft. Technically gifted. Yeah, they have their craft. Yeah. Whereas with comedy, the problem is we're doing something that everybody does. Which talking. Talking. Does everyone thinks they can do it? [055:00] No, I mean., everyone. Yeah, a friend of mine has been bringing it up lately and I'm like, no. You're that's what you'd be friends with you and be like, I could do it. Oh my god. It's like it's not even an open micer. But everything in your cell, he thinks it's funny. He laughs, there's his own shit, it's terrible. Yeah, oh my god. That's part of the problem. I mean, also it's the thing I, you know, my whole life has been dedicated to it, but I also, I respect the guitarist more than a comedian. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Like they're right. Well they practice. A fine, exactly. They actually practice when no one's around. A fine artist, like I respect them more than fucking comedy. And I love that though. I think it should be the low, I like the lowest form of show business. We're fucking idiot. We are dumb as fuck. We have like a type, some of us have a type of intelligence or like I think what I like is emotional intelligence. I can pick up on people, but I'm not fucking reading books anymore. Most of my mind, I think my brain is essentially like a tackometer. [056:00] Uh huh. Like I can red line that bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if I have scientists and I have to have discussions with them, or if there's something serious that I have to debate about with someone, I can red line it. Yeah. But for the most part, I'm cruising on the highway to steady 2500 RPM. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I'm a golf cart. I'm just going to find it of golf carts. I think a Jackie Gleason I do not know why Jackie Gleason on a golf his golf card had a cooler built into it and He's a Jackie Gleason just like to play golf and get lit Just great. He did all the time. That's a nice way to be you can find the photo of Jackie Gleason on the so I don't know why but this this photo This is it right here. Whenever I think of golf carts. I think of that. That's a shit version. Here it is Jackie fucking Gleason It's golf. It's a Rolls Royce golf guard Respect look at it's golf with an American flag on it. What a guy [057:00] Not even an American like that the first is that the yeah the the first Not even an American like that the first is that the yeah the first It's that he oozes self satisfaction which is hilarious Oh The horse That's what I want my life to be like and listen man that guy got drunk constantly. Yeah, he was just always lit Respect he was always having a good time Dude leasing at a good fucking time. Let me hear some after four or five of these good heavens the spectator gal Donnie says when you play as good as that happens has nothing to do with Please okay, he played good. Yeah, he was a really good pool player nice like a like an elite level pool player I believe it. He's in the movie the hustler would love the movie. Yeah in 1963 and he's the only guy I've ever seen like that That's this just an actor then when you see him play pool you don't get offended. Yeah, yeah, yeah Cuz I watch him make balls my oh that guy's got a strip strip stroke. Well, it's all your real player [058:04] It is so fun 1970 TV that's amazing Bucket Sony TV with dials in it probably black and white So I can watch the game I Got this connected to the girls bathroom He's gonna see me in there. He's got a cooler look at that shit. I mean that's beautiful. That's fucking that's retirement That's an electric cooler built into his fucking golf cart So a little mustache. Oh got this dash. Let me hear some volume of Jackie. Let me hear some volume with a great one That's what I do to hope when I play my hope I drive up a nest and Had shakes him a little bit then I show him the gold gloves I hope I drive up in this and had checks him a little bit then I show him the gold clubs It says the great one. It says the great one on his clubs go back look at that the great one So hallic dude the fucking club literally says the great one on it that's So fucking sick JG the great one Gold clubs my shit. That's a rick flair like adlib. He was amazing [059:04] He was amazing. He was amazing. You know, the amazing thing in the hustler, he doesn't even talk hardly. Yeah. He doesn't, I mean, he has a few lines, but he just plays this stoic pool player. He's the best pool player in the world. Fatch, which is name? Minnesota Fats. Yeah. No, I love that movie. Yeah. movie yeah you know there's a guy like a real pool player named Minnesota fats who just stole the name who's a hustler the Minnesota fats the guy who you see like he would be in these like Exhibitions against like Willie Moscone back in the day his real name was New York fats It's called New York fats And then the movie came out and he was like that movie is about me And he and he changed his name to Minnesota class. Smart man. Work smarter, not harder. Like Rick Ross, basically. The rapper Rick Ross. Exactly, you know, the real freeway Ricky Ross. Freeway Ricky Ross. Yeah, yeah. Freeway Ricky Ross tried to sue him. Like, because he's using his name. He said, nope. Rick Ross, honestly, how he got away with everything is awesome. The real Rick Ross. Both. Both. I think the Rick Ross is crazy. [1:0:06] He's selling for the CIA. Yeah. He is. But bro, he didn't even know how to read until he got into fucking jail. That's so awesome. He became a jailhouse lawyer and then realized once he was in jail that they had tried him for three strikes based on one case and you can't do that. It has to be three separate times you were arrested so he got out. So sick. Yeah, he got himself out. So sick. Didn't know how to read. That's awesome. And he was a killer tennis player. Really? Yeah. Pretty Ricky Ross. Did he pick that up in jail too? No, when he was younger. He was like a killer tennis player. But like what future is he? He lives in Compton. So he starts selling drugs. And didn't know that he was selling it for the fucking CIA to fund the sand Denise does versus the contrast. That's so fucking crazy. That's the old man. And then you got Rick Ross who was a fucking he was a person guard. That's what I'm saying is like he because he's so good at lying and wrapping and just like you hear Rick Ross wrapping you're like that's that's Jackie Gleason [1:1:01] on a fucking golf car. That's fucking goal clubs. That's like, you know, marble foot, he's just talking about all this crazy shit. And 50 cent, who's the best troll of all time, he's so funny. He thought he was destroying everyone he, he like was up against, he's up against Rick Ross, who's stealing a real drug dealer's name, was a literal cop. 50 cent had the pictures of him in his little uniform Rick Ross was just good enough at fucking wrapping it didn't fucking matter He's so good at fucking you know luxurious rap Well you ever made love have you ever made love to the woman in your dreams in a room full of money out in London as she screams That's a fucking Rick Ross line. That's like in beautiful dude. That's crazy room full of money in London It's like Tony Hitchcock had this bit that he used to do about Michael Jackson. And he goes, Michael Jackson was so good when beat it came on, you didn't give a fuck about those kids. And it's true. There hasn't been a single artist in all of history that was accused by multiple people of pedophilia. [1:2:03] We all knew he had kids spend the night over his house. It was all sick and weird. Yeah, really fucking. He literally turned his fucking house into a honey pot for kids. The cat, Neverland is so good. Oh yeah. He was like, I have shit in my house that bitches like. He was like, I don't like silk pillowcases, but bitches do. And then, and then he's like, now what is Michael's house? How's that? He's just like a Ferris wheel. He's like, who do you think he's trying to fuck? So, people are so good. So much shit about that bit. What, dude, that, first of all, that might be my favorite special of all time because he's just, out in the green. In the middle of it, he dances to his own song on the upset. Just in the middle of it. In the little John comes out, he's fucking crushing. And it's a shorter special, but he's got the fucking turbo button the whole time. He's crushing the whole time. The act outs are out of control. Everything is so good. And in that special is my favorite Michael Jackson bit [1:3:02] and my favorite bit about the Iraq war where he's just like what's the Iraq war what is the Iraq army's uniform look like? I'll wait tell me he's like and then he's talking about how insurgents he's like we're killing motherfuckers in flip flops sweatpants it's and it's it's it's a bit in between two bits like it's almost on the side and it is literally as good as any political comic because he just gets to the fucking heart of the matter that that specials fucking unbelievable yeah he had a run he had a run for a few years and he's still that's the thing it's like maybe culturally it's not what it used to be but from like the numbers like people still fucking watch cat Williams a ton dude oh yeah I'm saying like oh yeah he was on fire he was on fire Pimp crop but truly that special I I lit I thought I you know I go back and forth but that I mean It's on the Mount Rushmore for me of just like pretty damn good and and it captured something it's so you know that of that 2000's era of like you know that's what I yeah, I mean look at it. He looks incredible. Look at that Jack give me some of this volume [1:4:07] Yeah, switch it from out his own song in the middle of a special Oh, yeah, there's about a baseball I mean... In the middle of a special look at this time there's Bell buckle Jesus Christ look at that Bell buckle Look at those knees the man's a dancer Well you can move like that when you weigh 130 pounds. Yeah, it's quite a bit easier You just in the middle of a special and it doesn't stop him at all Like imagine He came out with a tiger once did you ever see that special? Oh, that's awesome Yeah, especially with a tiger in the cage behind them. But dude was a tiger a lion [1:5:01] Tiger in a cage behind them. But dude, it was a Tiger Alion. I don't remember that. But dude, a giant ass cat. Think about how hard it would be to follow Little John in the height of his fucking, height of his fame. Coming out in the middle of your, in the middle of it, Cat Williams doesn't give a fuck, dude. Well, he wants him there. That's what I'm saying. It's like, you can tell, I think he shot that in one go. There's no multiple shows. Yeah. It's fucking incredible. I mean, he's on top. He's so fucking good. But yeah, that bit's, that Michael Jackson bit, he did was so fucking good. And he was, you know, just the man. And just, and it He's also a great actor when he was in fucking Atlanta. He was fucking awesome. I have a son in that. It's, Atlanta's a great show. Yeah. But yeah, it's, he's just got so much depth and he's such an interesting person. It's like all, like, coming, imagine coming back from getting in a fight with a child. He's like a guy, he got fucked up by like a middle schooler. [1:6:00] Yeah. And then it's like he's doing arenas like two years later. Everyone's like, well, that's it for that's it for cat That one time when he's just completely destroying that some woman on the radio. You see that She is trying to go after him in the softest way possible and he is Demo it's like when he was coming back from his troubles and shit like that and this woman has no idea what she's doing He's just call he's like Fuck I forget what is but it's like, him on, I don't remember what radio show, but it's like, so they took a caller? No, she's like a host. Oh. And he's like, you know, he's just fucking being chill whatever and it's just like, he's just such a genuine guy that you can't't remember what he said to her. It's, you know, if you can find it, Jay, but like, it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in terms of, like, just destroying a woman. Destroying. This is the only reason to go on one of those radio shows. Yeah. Well, Sam doesn't where he goes. He goes on morning shows and talks about like how each, yes, this is the thing. Smith His 19 inches long and I have no [1:7:07] Perm No, it is not Come run one of your narrowed fingers Narrowed man has to yours That's right. They don't have to Narrow fingers gnaw and and and and and We want to break real quick. He says runnish [1:8:05] So nervous. She's so nervous dude look at her look at the nervous laughter No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm I'm Is this showing this bitch has no idea what she's up against? On her own show [1:9:01] Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You already used that one. Don't repeat your jokes, Chris. Oh my god. Just. Oh my god. Comes with a pack of new, you get everything she has on and she recouper from that. How do you recouper from that? I think you have to quit. And when you go back to work tomorrow, and everybody's like, how are you feeling? Dude dude that follows you for a year especially if she reads the comments and no she reads the comments dude that video is just for will live on that's what people know her from all clothes on he was on first first of all you know he's rich cat Williams is rich rich rich rich but he's been doing arenas, she's the fourth mic on a fucking radio show. Come on lady. What is that? You got old clothes on. It's a woman completely out of her depth. Who doesn't, who didn't appreciate that everybody was, you know, rightfully like respecting cat as a fucking legend and she probably just didn't like it. And such is gonna get over on him. How, how do you think that people are delusional? What I'm looking at this. What? [1:010:06] This story will crazy. Oh no did it? Apparently at a show of his in Atlanta, her husband pointed a gun at him. It says it because of his ridicule of her. Yeah. Oh, imagine getting got so well. Imagine getting roasted so bad your husband points a gun at the guy. Following the interview in the alleged altercation with Williams and sellers, Smith addressed both on air. She said that at the comedy theater, Williams saw her and approached her and said, I told you, fucking with me, will make you go viral. This led to sellers chasing Williams into a food depot supermarket because of legal reasons Smith couldn't talk further about the Altication, but she did discuss feeling attacked during her interview with Williams. Oh Yeah, the victim car incredible dude good luck playing that card with that video. Oh my god I felt like as he started talking the beginning He had an agenda to attack me and I kept feeling some type of way she explained [1:011:04] Okay, he kind of came for me and I'm not kind of comed- I'm feeling some type of way. She explained. Okay. He kind of came for me and I'm not kind of comedian. She's a comedian. Oh my God. Like I don't go tip for tat. When he started coming at me, it kind of threw me off. I did know how to come back because that's not how I wanted to talk to him because of the respect. Oh now it's just like. I'm not playing victim she said I'm not a jokester like that. I don't know how to do that He did it. He won it threw me off. Oh my god. I hate the L lady That's like yeah, I put some smoke salmon up my ass and put it waved in in front of a bear's face And it attacked me and now I'm sad worse you pimp slap the bear I mean she went after up to him, 100%. Crazy. And he was letting her off easy. And then at the end, when he's just, he's got that, he's got the special bar charged up. He does his finishing move on her. She's fucked, dude. Well, when he started with run-y-on-now fingers. I'm not gonna make it to the narrowed fingers. He's, that That's like lady that's the warning shot. Yeah, you're fucking within a week comic and also he's real comfortable and relaxed [1:012:08] And he's got his stop bus. He's the man is ready to go Oh my god That was like one of the best takedowns I've ever seen since it was fucking incredible But that's like a Mike Tyson fight in the 80s. It's like we're doing in there with him. It's gonna make so sense You're a fucking tomato can this is terrible idea. How do you think this is gonna turn out? I know, I know. He's the fucking man. Yeah, do you do radio anymore? Do you ever do that? Not really. He's just to be the thing. I know, it just doesn't, like I did it. It doesn't work. At the very end of like when I first started headlining and you know, playing like I would do the Sunday or something like that, you know, or the Thursday. I did it a couple times, but I was like, why am I up at fucking 5 a.m.? If it moves two tickets, you're lucky. And it's just like, now it's like we kind of do the fun, like I'll do the shows that, you know, depending, I'll do some, you know, Lebitard is a really great show, I'll do that. I'll do, but even those shows, it's like he's also a podcast now, or like I'll do local, you know, in certain markets. [1:013:07] I'll do Baltimore when I go home, shout out to my boy Justin Schlage, I'll do his show, cause you know, he's one of the guys that started to have me and it's still a good show in the market, like nine day rock, whatever, but it doesn't feel worth it anymore, dude. I stopped doing other places, the same thing. Because it matters, it doesn't mean something. Yeah, but man, used to be radio was, well radio was probably what led me to get into podcasting. Oh, interesting. Because I would do radio shows like, oh, God, I'm gonna do one of these. I'll just be fun. Yeah. No one ever give me one. Right. Yeah, better buy a Micro kind of it used to be the only way to sell tickets That's kind of gone. I think it is going. I mean I assume I think maybe some part like I guess I don't know if like Bob and Thomas Still big used to work though used to work like if you went to Columbus and you did uh, what was that there's a fucking [1:014:01] There was a God I can't remember the name it to that, zoo was big for there for a while, and then there was another show, depending on the year you're talking about that. Yeah. But no, you're right. I mean, if we really think about it, it really was like podcasts. Because it's like how there's a ton of, even though there's like 200 podcasts that do really, just off the top of my head, you know, comedy podcast. There's a ton of successful ones. It's the same way where it's like every market had a place where a guy was a fucking celebrity. Yep. In their little town, you couldn't fuck with that guy, dude. He was like a fucking Don. And that has kind of gone away because now it's like, yeah, they were the morning guy. The morning guy was the fucking man. The guy was the fucking man. That's what you want to be. And that crazy that that went like blockbuster? A blockbuster video just like, tie. Well, and it's like, you know, those shows were like, I mean, again, I barely did them. You, I guess like, you did a lot of them. Yeah, like, could you, did you feel like you could be funny on there? You just had to be right? It was just like, I would show up sober. I just fucking hired drunker. I had to barbeque. [1:015:06] That's just barbeque. That's hilarious. Not knowing what I was talking about 15 seconds after I was talking. But this house is the most loose. It's 6 o'clock in the morning. Give me a big cup of coffee and a joint. Let me go. Let me go. Let's get into it. Yeah, let's have on the radio too, but that's hard, man, because then you go back to your hotel room and crash, and then you feel like shit at like 2 p.m. Oh fuck, I didn't even think of it. Yeah, because the show's gotta come after you. That's the fucked up part. Yeah, but if you're on a radio show and you're having fun, you gotta go. I mean, this is like the advertisement to get people to come see you right right so you're fucking around having a good time crushing it you gotta stay on yeah gotta have a good time and but I always just to think like that would be the job man have a fucking radio gig would be the job you figured it out I don't want the fuck out what are you talking about it's like this is exactly that except you don't have to fucking you can talk about whatever the fuck you want you know what I mean exactly that's why I never would've got one of those jobs. They said, hey, hey, you can't talk about the pyramids again. [1:016:06] Right. I'm like, but hold on. Come on, dude. There's no way those motherfuckers made them. It was a fucking alien. Beam dust to the fucking knowledge. Also, you would have executives. Yeah. You would have a bunch of fucking, like, they would have meetings with the, I was friends with Kevin and Bean in LA, that was like one of the last shows that ever did. They were, no, they were the last radio show that I would ever willingly do. Yeah, yeah, cause I like the best guys. Cause they were your boys. They were fun, they were good dudes. And, you know, when they got fired, man, they just got fucking, they just got told they to go in the building and get their stuff. They were there for like 25 years. I mean, that's fucking brutal. But that's how those corporations work, man. Fuck you, pay me. Get out. It's a business. It's not art. And they bled their industry dry. And that it kind of made way for independent stuff and independent pot. And it's like, they thought they could do that [1:017:01] because they were monopoly. and then in five years it was like anybody could do. Yeah, well I remember when I first started talking about doing it like radio guys were so dismissive. Like why are you doing that? Yeah, he's our thing. Well how are certain you should talk about it openly? Yeah, just people are idiots. Like what are you doing? Waste your time podcasting. Yeah, that's kind of hilarious. It really is. But But I mean you also get it because it like it's of course it threatens them because it's like Yeah, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna do the thing you I get it But I don't get it because it things that threaten me. I don't attack right. I embrace things that threaten me Well, there's something that threatens me if there was something like a podcast It was if like I was a radio host and podcasts were killing. I'd be like I need to get get a fucking bonkers. And I probably start talking openly about it to put pressure on my contract negotiations. Right, right, right. Why am I just gonna have my money? I have enough money. Why do I have a boss? Why do I have a job? Why do I have shareholders? Why do I have stocks? Well, do you think it's a little bit of what happens when, it's not so much, I guess it happens now too, where it's like, like if somebody gets big off a purely TikTok, right? Or somebody does like funny videos [1:018:07] and then they start selling out comedy clubs. Don't you think they looked at podcasters that way where they're like, they don't know how to, they don't know how to be a radio guy? Like, well, I mean, cause I feel that sometimes where I'm like, these fucking guys can't put together an act, or if like, whenever a celebrity gets canceled, now all of a sudden they're fucking comedians, you know what I mean? Right, that does happen, you know? That's what I'm saying is like, that's like actors to last hope. Right, when she, that's, again, back to the what comedy is, where comedy is, it's like, well, if you are a rapist, come on to the comedy club, he's a good comment. That's the difference. But he was a middle act. And then all of a sudden he's like headlining and selling out four or five six shows in a row. But that's the thing, it's like, if you're like that, he's good, he's a good guy. Yeah. And he somebody like, like, [1:019:05] Juski's really funny, that guy's hilarious. And he goes on the road, and he does his own thing. He has his own show. He's not doing stand up. He's like taking the experience of what makes him good. But then you see other people who don't have that like imagination, they don't want to work hard and craft their own special live show and they're like, I could do stand. Like, way we were talking about it. Imagine if your friend who's not funny at all blows up because he puts a wig on and pretends to be a woman on TikTok. You know what I mean? But I mean, I'm not him. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying? It's that, very rarely do I say it's never gonna happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hypothetically a guy like that. It happens and they have no stage presence. They have nothing interesting about them. And all of a sudden, they can say, I had a fucking improv a weekend. And now, hopefully, organically, people will stop going to see them if they're bullshit. Or they can figure it out. Like come up with something that they can do, [1:020:01] maybe show video clips, maybe talk about things, have a projector behind them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somewhere they could use it up. Right, right, some bullshit. Yeah, somewhere they could use it up. More often than not though, I think if they figure it out, it just, they become hacks. Because hack works, you know what I mean? Like, that's why it's, that's why it's hack. Well, you know, Tom Green was doing movies and all that other stuff and sketches at Tom Green show, and now he's doing stand up. Well, he's a super imaginative, very creative guy. He's also super unique. He's also the main reason why I did this podcast. The Tom Green show? Yeah, that was awesome. But his online one. His talk show that he did. I remember I went to his house. It was like 2007, and I was like, this is crazy. You got wires running through your living room. You had servers there. And I was like, a whole room dedicated to hard drives and servers and some crazy internet connection. It was wild. And I was like, dude, you just got to figure out a way to monetize this. This is it. [1:021:00] This is the future. No executives. No executives, no one tell you what to do. I think I started doing versions of web shows after that. And then the other one that got me into it was doing the opian Anthony show. Yeah, yeah. Because it was such a hang. Totally. It was just a hang. There was no organization to it at all. Yeah. A bunch of funny guys, people popping in and out. People popping in and out. And Norton and everyone just hanging out Shitting on each other that was the predecessor that was like that was the process That was the thing yeah, especially when they went to XM and they were you can say whatever the fuck you want Yeah, it's so funny to hear the clips from when they were on terrestrial radio and you're like they're like easy Patries and they're like oh wait, you can't say yeah, yeah, yeah But yeah, it is very it's fascinating But yeah, I guess that's what the radio guys were thinking. You know, but I agree with you. You should try and understand what the fuck's going on. Not like, feel threatened. Yeah, well, I get why you would feel threatened. I just don't think it's productive. Yeah. It's just like, how's it gonna help you to shit on something that is obviously killing it? [1:022:00] Once you're already successful, the people get set in their fucking ways. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, especially if you're like a Howard Stern type dude, you're the biggest guy ever in the radio. And then something's coming along that's taken over radio like no way. Yeah. Impossible. Although I will say none of us have an awesome black midget. We bring on. We could. We could. Yeah. Beetle juice box. Imagine if he bailed on his contract, said, you know what, I got a billion dollars in the bank. I'm firing all the executives. I'm buying a warehouse. And I'm gonna just build a wild ass studio in there and just do podcasts and go back to like Howard Stern from the 80s. Yeah, but you know. At a certain point, you kind of, you're not that guy anymore either. That's true. Your temperament changes, you know? It You know, it's like he's he got real scared of the virus. Yeah, he like didn't go into the city for like fucking two years Yeah, that's wild. Yeah, I just wish I just want to see Beetle juice back That's another one of my class. I still live. I think oh, yeah He's thriving how I don't know I don't know But I do like to throw on some Beetle juice clips. I saw a clip of his sister. Yeah him and his sister. He came a thing. Oh, boy. Oh, Jesus. My favorite one is when they trick him into thinking he's talking to Obama. [1:023:07] Oh, my God. Was it Obama impersonator? It was barely the guy who was barely doing a voice. And he's going like, fuck you Obama. Oh, my God. He said a personal beef with him because he said he wrote a letter to his mother. Oh, my God. You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- You should be- Like no, there is a fucking line. They didn't even know that guy was gonna say. Yeah. That's fucking hilarious. It would be like this is what we need to do. This is what we need to have radio. What radio waves were created for? A homeless guy. Three million followers. There he is. Wow. [1:024:00] Good for him. Shut up to beat. Good for him. He's the man. Look at him hanging out with Manipack on Mike Tyson I believe that's a Photoshop. So what? That's pretend it's real. Conner's there. That's pretend it's real. That's a pretender to ran. Conner. That's pretend it's real. I would love to pretend it's real. I like to think it's real. In my heart. Look at him. He answer is very important. He's on the phone with Obama right there. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck, dude. Yeah, like, so you started doing radio just like to promote when you started headlining or was that, would you start on the road? Yeah, I did a little bit before. I mean, you would do it anytime anybody would want your radio. It was like a big. Yeah, I remember the first ones I did were like in Connecticut, and I was living in New York, you know, getting some Connecticut. Of course, you'd have to go and do like a literal like tiny, gouge, morting show that reached like five miles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In each direction. Yeah. But that's how you got people to come see you. Yeah. It was like the pioneer days. Totally. You know, literally you're on a covered wagon. You can't wear a cross-stcountry. [1:025:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I do, I mean it's so funny to think about when you're like, to like, want that shitty the old days, you know what I mean, like the old one-nighters and shit, because I mean, it wasn't as good, like I caught, again, like the tail of that, where it was like, you're playing fucking wherever, and it's like everywhere had the comedy clubs were very, like when you were coming up, was it like right after a boom, and it was like kind of down, or what we were talking about? It was like, not good. There was a boom in the 80s. So the boom in the 80s was like, 84 to 88, and I came around in 88. Okay. And back then it was really strange. There was a bunch of comics that really were like lounge acts, but not a lounge act like a lounge act comedian, like a lounge act comic. Like they weren't even really comedians. Interesting. They would just talk about things with a comedy timing. Right, right. But there was nothing there. [1:026:01] There was a bunch of these guys. And because they just could sustain that. How many of you were so successful? Ha ha ha. They would just laugh. And so they would pick premises that other people had covered. And some of them were like arrogant. Yeah, yeah. It was bizarre. Like you're fucking terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And but they had this weird sort of way of delivering material that sounded like they were comedians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their sleeves rolled up, they would talk about things. Little blazer. God, there was a lot of them, man. And then, like doing signfellets cadence, but with nothing underneath it. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had a way of talking. They made them sound like a comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was a lot of them, man It was crazy. It was crazy. It was like the whole world wanted comedy right and then it kind of died off And then it died off and a bunch of the clubs went under and all the TV shows dried up There used to be like evening at the improv and MTV half hour comedy hour and all these different Shows where you could go on and you could do five minutes and if you killed all of a sudden your headline on the road [1:027:02] You might have seen him on MTV's half hour comedy club. So that's TikTok back then. Something like that. It's like a five minute spa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that. Yeah, and then you could do the road. And so you wanted to have some sort of a credit, like if they saw you, oh, even at the improv, whoa, what's going on here? And then you had a credit and hopefully put together 45 minutes and close. But there was, it was so many comedians, but it wasn't the quality that there are today, not even close. Like there are so many at the top end. Like back then at the top end, there wasn't, there was a dozen. Like the NBA in the 50s. Right. It's like, okay, five of those guys could play today, but most of them were fucking dog shit. Yeah, yeah, there was there was like a You know there was maybe a dozen like real good comics. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah A lot of good comics. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Well, it's harder to kind of stand out I think a little but also just it's the natural order of things like as long as something goes on [1:028:06] Shit's gonna get better. I mean, I do think about sports as the analogy. Like I mean, UFC, UFC one is one of the funniest things of all time where it's like a guy with one box in glove. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and then you flash forward to now and it's like you have like, you know, fucking, you know, the fucking, all the dagostani motherfuckers. Yeah, just trained to destroy people. It's like you drop that guy in the UFC one You know what I mean is like fucking crazy. Yeah, they would steamroll everybody. Yeah, yeah That's but that sport is the most obvious example of something that is almost unrecognizable from 30 years ago Yeah, because the first UFC was 30 years ago Wow, and if you go to 1993 to 2023, the difference is so fucking stark. Yeah, dude. The people are so good now. Yeah. It's nuts. Yeah. I had the, that was my, we had the DVD of UFC one. It's just so funny to watch like Ken, because we were wrestling fans and it's like, I heard Ken Shamrock fought in this thing. That was the draw for us, for me and my brothers, and then you just watch and you're like, what the fuck is this world's most dangerous man? [1:029:07] And they were fighting every day, or all those fights happened in one day, right? Yeah, they had multiple fights in a day. That's why I can wild. Yeah, they did a lot of those. Yeah. They did a lot of those up until the late 90s, started doing individual matches. So were you fighting when you were trying, were also like starting comedy? Was that like your dual life? Yes, yeah. I had three kickboxing fights while I was still doing stand-up. But then I realized I can't do it. I wasn't all in it. And I was not all in in fighting or comedy. Right. So not being all in in fighting is fucking dangerous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get stomped. And then not being all in comedy is like, what am I doing? Like, why am I doing this? Just getting drunk. I mean, there's plenty of guys like that, getting drunk. You're gonna get pushed after open mics. But it was really just not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and not being very good at comedy and still pretty good at fighting Yeah, I was like, maybe this is what I should, maybe I should go all into that. But with fighting, if you have a thought in your head that you maybe shouldn't be doing [1:030:10] this, you better get out now. Right. Really should get out now. Even that much down is fucking, it's killed you. Because the guys who don't have that much down are gonna fuck you up. Because the guy, like me, when I was 20 would have fucked up me when I was 22. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, because I was different person. Yeah. When I was all in, that's all I did. I'd eat, breathe, I would wake up in the middle of the night, kicking. I would have fucking, kicking dreams. So I literally like throw kicks in the middle of the night. Yeah, like dogs running in their sheep. Exactly. There was you fucking sparring and head kicks. But it was just I didn't know what I was going to do. And I was like, I don't know if I can really make it as a comedian. And then I just had to I had to pick one of the other. You just get your shit split once and you were like, I lost my last fight. I got TKO to my last fight. But it was also I was I fought three times at a night. I won the first two fights. Stop the first guy in the first round. Second guy beat the fuck out of the third guy. [1:031:07] I was exhausted and I beat him up in the first round and let me clip a little left hook and dropped. And it wasn't too bad. It wasn't like the next day I was fine. I was fine like an hour after the fight. But it was enough where I was like, okay. Like part of me was like, you can't go out on a loss, get back in there, you could beat that guy, you really fucking them up, you should've been in better shape, you shouldn't have had two fights that day. But the other part of me was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is what you, this is a good way to end this fuck. And by the way, I've been doing that to other people for so long, like you need to get beat up a little bit. Of course. Good for me. The circle of life. He was good. We're like a kid. We're like a kid that was into fucking Taekwondo and shit like that's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. In high school found that became obsessed trained every day. Yeah. And before that we're teaching. What was your shit? What was like your shit is a little ass kid. I was in a art. Okay. Yeah. I wanted to be a comic book illustrator. Oh, see. Yeah, I wanted to make comic books. Can you draw? Oh yeah, real good. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, that was my shit. [1:032:05] I used to draw. Damn, dude. I'm a fucking Renaissance man over here. I was really good, man. There's some stuff online that you could find. Like, this is one thing that I did with three little pigs. Like, with the big bad wolf and the bullfin. Oh that was like, there was a lot of black and white comic books that were like creepy and eerie, like these different, like they were very gory, like that's something I drew from Marvin Hackler. I drew that one on 15. That's sick. Yeah, that's another one I did. That one up a right in Gwona, I drew a lot of those. Oh, you were into some Asian, oh that's, because that to me looks like one of those like Japanese devils, but that's a werewolf. Yeah, werewolf. I was just really into werewolf. Some horror shit. Yeah. Is that one that I drew the little red of the big bad wolf? Is that one in there? Three little pigs? It's in there somewhere. No, did you ever, this is something we used to get the kid who could draw it. Did you ever, were you ever hired to draw pornography for any of this? [1:033:06] Did you ever draw tits and jack off to it? That's a beautiful like self fulfilling cycle. You know what I did do though? I would draw tattoos on my friends. Oh, sick. So like I would use like a tactical pens and I would like, you could like, like which just got like a you get like control of different thicknesses of tips and so draw cool tattoos on my friends that were thinking about getting tattoos. I'm gonna be like I'm gonna draw something on you. Yeah feel it out. Yeah this is what you wash it off. Yeah yeah yeah. But one of my friends got his ass kicked because he came home and the mother thought it was like a real tattoo. You fucking son of a bitch is like Joe Robby drew it on his own. real tattoo. You fucking son of a bitch is like Joe Rob the Druid on his own. You know that family has great communication when he doesn't even get a chance to explain its fake. Yeah, he's getting swung on. He came in with a t-shirt on. She's like, you're a little son of a bitch. Because back then, kids would get tattoos like in high school. [1:034:02] Oh, yeah, just come home. Yeah, like some shitty tattoo. What's up? I got a friend Jimmy got this terrible tiger head tattoo on his shoulder and One day his mother saw something peeking out under his sleeve and she fucking started screaming His name on it like Jimmy Hey, bro, it looked like the tiger. The wayvy was made by a drunk five-year-old. A hundred, dude, that was so bad. Those teen, I had a friend who just got like fucking a leaf on her foot. And it's like, this is just here. I was 16 and dumb. And now I have a leaf that looks like shit on my foot. They can laser that off though. Yeah, maybe. They're really good at it now. She was mad at her. Oh yeah Apparently I've never done but the laser hurts interesting they get in there Just cooks the skin and breaks up all the shit. Yeah, not good. Yeah, never I'm a clean canvas You thinking my getting some I don't think I think once you're three or four large panda bear in your back That's not bad. Yeah. Yeah, my favorite just a hard on yeah [1:035:01] Big a big black and white hard big I think I want to eagle with a bone or just on my back What is an eagle's penis look like would it be human penis from the sky? I would do a human dick You would be on the eagle I bet someone's already drawn it. I bet we're talking about a fine 100% Google eagle with human dick. Oh, there's a there's a guy on long Island who Signed up after 9-11 who's definitely got that tattoo. Jamie just laughs. Oh my god No, I want the actual fly dick. That's an actual flying dick. Okay, Joe. Is there an eagle with a dick? It's got to be I guarantee it's out there Dude this is like a thousand tattoos of me out there. There's got to be an eagle with a dick? It's gotta be. I guarantee it's out there. Dude, look. There's like a thousand tattoos of me out there. There's gotta be an eagle with a dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some. How about you, but the eagle and the dick head is your head. Mm, right. That's like a giant. Big old Vanny, champ. Big old Vanny. And my head is. You're so pissed. Like I'm deadlifting. Yeah. You're face on a PR. [1:036:05] But it's just coming off an eagle's human dick. Bro, someone's gonna get that. Please guarantee. I'll give you $1,000 if you get that. Yes, I'll throw on a thousand as well. Yeah, just an eagle with a total oversized dick. And you know what, actually, I have to be one of the nuts if you get it. My face has to be one of the balls. Little big smile and the glasses on. That's awesome. And a dick that looks like a bodybuilder's forearm. You have veins brother. Yeah, you need at least three veins. There's one main one. One main one, two off to the two tributaries. A lot going on. A lot of blood flow. I love it. I love it. How many tears of tattooed their dick? I bet quite a few. I've seen a bunch online. Have you tasted them any? They're different. [1:037:00] It's not gay, but it tastes like copper, like a penny. You suck it on a penny The guys like Joe it'll be cool tastes different Yes, dude, and this will help you get your yellow belt as you for day one You escaped the you ever know know? Every time you had a video, there was a guy who, a karate instructor molested his kid and they were working, they were the cops that arrested the guy and they were taking him. I think it was through an airport. They were moving through an airport and this guy's waiting by the phone and as the guy walks by, bang, blows him in the head and puts his hands up. Fuck it. Honestly awesome. Everybody loves that. Everybody loves that video. How are you mad at that? How are you mad at that? It's because by the way, okay, you know, I think if somebody molest your kid, you should be able to kill him, right? I think that's pretty fair. But that's not easy, dude. He's got a small window. He knows it's going up again. And he's like, okay, I'm gonna go to jail. So I'm not gonna be able to live with this. I'm gonna go to jail. Did you ever see that one? [1:038:05] There's a one video of a woman, some man had raped and murdered her seven year old. And she shot him. Here's the video. The guy's walking by. This guy's got the bag. Bang! Damn dude. That's a rap son. By the way the guy moved in. Yeah, he could have got shot I wanted to he could have dropped both of the 100% Oh, dude Dude look at the fucking look at his face sunglasses baseball hat Shiao. Yeah, like was that guy like in the copper the army or something if he's just a guy that's pretty impressive I don't know I don't know. It don't know. It's too much reading. It's a horrible story. 1984. But there's another video of a woman in court and the guy who murdered and raped her daughter was right there and she just pulls out a gun and just empties it in court. Bye, bye, bye, bye. [1:039:01] That's with like a dead look on her face. Damn dude. You know, just, just fuck you. Yeah, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. I mean, I think that guy got off, didn't he? I hope he only had to like serve a little bit or something. He had him off the jail. Yeah. Yeah, just clean up after the blood and the airport. He'll give you a wetter's press. Press to take it to sit on. But they're real good. That can't be really. I think that's it. Dude, that's it. Dude. No, it is. Look at the guy behind. He's holding his ears. That's real. No, that's real, dude. Nice with it. Honestly, she looks. That's. Yeah, how are you mad, man? I mean, that guy Just really saw something on Twitter similar to this it was like an old woman on in Mexico who something like that happened And she tracked down the gangsters The government wouldn't help when she tracked them all down one by one. Oh, you fucking kidding me fake IDs until they were dead or in jail I need that movie brother that's fucking action movie beautiful like revenge grandma. We haven't had a revenge grandma I's something about a lady who avenges her kids murder. [1:040:06] That's absolutely intense. Have you seen lady Snowblood? No, what's up? That's a Japanese like you're gonna love them. You're into a lot of Japanese shit. I don't, this has come out just now. I don't know what this is about. Recent in life? I don't know. I had one time where I kind of went to recharge. It was, my friend gave me a Murakami book where this all started. When I was just like, it was right after, it was like during the pandemic, I'd gained a ton of fucking weight and I felt like shit, career stalled, everything. And I just went to like Baltimore for like, I rented a place, I worked out with my brother and I was like, off my phone, I was just like, recharging. And he gave me this Murakami book and I was like, okay, this Japanese shit school, I started listening like Japanese music. I did get into a weird, so I think there's like a like a Pavlov's dog thing with me where it's like any Japanese shit, it almost reminds me of that healing point in my life. And I got into like, I'm also just so into like revenge action. I really want to write an action movie when I take, after the special comes out, which is, you know, it's coming out and I'm trying to promote it. [1:041:06] I'm doing all this shit, but my tour is over. I just ended at the beacon, which was fucking sick. And once all the promo stuff's done, I just want to fucking chill out. I want to fucking watch a bunch of fucking movies. I probably will read some Japanese shit, because in my head that is like the resetting. But anyway, Lady Snowblood revenge film a woman who's like mom and she the mom like has this woman in jail and she like tracks down the people who like raped her mom and like fucking put her in jail it's fucking it's awesome Lady Snowblood's good she did a good revenge movie there is right there lady snow oh Jesus fucks people up's now you'd love this movie for sure It's fucking awesome. It looks bad. It's on criteria on and I think it's also on what years this? 73 it's good. I mean I do it dude behind us. You fuck oh my god. Oh my god. This is gory. It's fucking awesome [1:042:02] There's something about a good revenge movie man. It's the best. I mean, it's just I just watched I watched the first half of hard boiled Awesome. I popped that little bad boy come on with hard boiled. Oh John Woo movie. Oh, that's right. Yeah Another banger absolutely, but yeah, I'm trying to like get it in cyclopedic. I'm gonna watch so many revenge in assassin. I wanna write the guy. You like the right one. I wanna write like, but I wanna write like a comedy. You know what I mean? Like I wanna do like where I'm the guy. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wanna have like a, I wanna have like a, yeah, this hard boiled. So sick, dude. Yeah, there's something about a good revenge movie man. Uh-oh Well, it's so simple your your oh the key machine the killer just came out. Yes. Oh, I love the killer's great killers Great, that's great. I saw like a bad review of it and then I was like a little apprehensive watching I'm like, what are you talking this movie's amazing amazing fincher? Yeah, and it's like it shows you like it's also interesting to think about this fucking guy because like all you have is his [1:043:07] Internal monologue, so it's like yeah, he fucks him shit up But it's like that's part of what's what's interesting is like we don't know is this guy as good as he thinks he is and then How methodical he is and that fight scene the fucking that middle fight scene in fucking Florida? Yeah incredible and there's so much and the till the Swinton thing where it's it's the opposite where it's like that's all psychological Yeah, where's the other one is brute force and it's just like there's also no Moments in that movie you'll like get the fuck out of here totally you know and a lot of action movies There's a get the fuck out of here. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He fucks up constantly. Yeah, he fucks up constantly. And but he's also fucking, yeah, there's like three really funny fuck ups he does. And it's just, you're with his internal monologue and he fucking looks great. And all of it is like believable and feels as grounded as a fucking assassin movie can be. And isn't it weird that you're rooting for him? [1:044:02] Absolutely. Isn't that weird? He's just as bad as them. Yeah. But it is the revenge factor of if they hadn't heard his, you know, if they hadn't heard his girl. That's true. That's the one thing. But then it also becomes this larger thing of like as he's taking it to the top, you're rooting for, not to give the movie away, but it's like, you're rooting for a final resolution. And then it's like the movie plays with that. You know, it's just like, but yeah, you do the revenge is the thing of how it gets us to root for these people that, you know, if you were to think about it, they're also fucking monsters. Well, that's Tony soprano. Yeah. You know, Tony soprano was the anti hero. Like you root it for Tony soprano. He He's a murderer. Well, that's different though, because that's even more sinister, because like the revenge movies are so simple. It's like this guy who's cool, even though he's bad, they hurt somebody good and he's gonna like get them back. Tony Sopranos even worse, where it's like, no, this guy's a piece of shit, but he's so charming and cool. You like him? And he fucking eats fucking deli meats just like me. [1:045:02] Yeah. He's getting, you know what I mean? It's like that's, yeah, he's getting pussy. He's just like a fucking awesome guy. And you see the charm of these guys? Yeah. Which I don't know if that's real. I don't know if the actual real mobsters are that charming. I'm sure some of them at the top were. Some of them are charming. And Gandalfini is just such a about the superannos and that's why I think they put a couple those episodes where they're like, no these guys are Satan. We're like, you know, Ralphie kills the fucking the girl he gets pregnant. And that's a big moment where you're like, oh, I shouldn't be rooting for those guys. Right, right. Well, they made it very complicated. How about when Tony killed Christopher Malthusonate? Like, oh, Jesus Christ. But that's exactly it. At the end, you're like, this guy is fucking Satan. This guy is a completely irredeemable piece of shit. And the scene where fucking Carmella goes to the therapist and he's just like, because she's always been in like, she's been in denial, or she's always been able to like, pretend and he's just like, no, this is blood. [1:046:00] I won't take your blood money. Right. Maybe up until this point in your life, no one has explicitly told you you're being an accomplice for this fucking bullshit and the staying with him is like not equal to but you're involved in this evil and the only way for him to be able to like get out of this is to turn himself in and pray for fucking redemption and she's just like, oh, well I guess I'm gonna fucking keep being part of this. I don't wanna do this, I don't wanna lose all my money, I don't wanna lose my life. She was just trying to go to therapy to feel better. And he's been the guys like, I'm not Dr. Melfi. I'm not fucking gonna enable this bullshit because I'm also wrapped up in it. The guy was just like, I know who you are, I know what you're trying to do. There's no way to feel good. That's not fake here. That's also the thing. If you lived in those neighborhoods that were run by the mob, you were under their firm. Oh yeah. It was scary. For sure. Like you had a pay protection money. If you didn't pay a protection money, they'll come I know. It's funny. Yeah, I mean, it's like the, that is definitely the culture that pervades it. [1:047:06] Have you ever read any of the books about the 1970s mob? Have you ever read Murder Machine? I haven't read Murder Machine. I read the Murder Machine is terrifying. I was about Roy Demail, who is a serial killer, mobster, serial killer. Damn. Find reasons to kill people. Joey Diaz gave it to me. He was going to read this book, Conksucker. Yeah, he's motherfuckers. These motherfuckers will wild. And gaming this book. And I remember I read it on the road, I was like, holy shit, there's one of those books you have to put down a few hours before you go on stage. I got to reset my brain and be funny again. This is horrific. I'll check it out. The five families, it's almost like an encyclopedic thing of the entire I forget who wrote it but I'll say L fucking find and show you that that book is almost like it's almost like a history textbook about the mob it's really fucking good and but it's not as like it's not as like what you're talking about where it's getting to the psychology it's purely like this is [1:048:02] who was the ball you know going from lucky I used to train a guy who was a hitman for Whitey Bulger. Whoa, what the fuck? Yeah, I taught him. That's crazy. Yeah. What, what'd you teach him? Just fucking people up. He was a dude that, there was a bunch of people that I knew that were in the Irish mob. And one of them was the brother of a comedian, you knew when I was going to jail. Comedian friend of mine. Bill Cosby. No. Irish guys. All Irish guys. And Bill O'Cosby. And one of them was a guy who used to come to the gym who 99% sure what the jail for murder. I know he went to jail but I'm pretty sure it's for murder. Okay. And he was a hitman and he was just asking, he would ask me like if I wanted to hit someone and to kill him where would I hit him? He would just say that. Yeah, damn yeah, I said I said probably the neck And he said I think so too. Yeah, just strike them in the neck But I go it's gonna take more than one shot. He goes oh, yeah Like we're just looking at each other okay, so This is how you got to get your weight in it to generate more power. The problem is you're hitting it and then you're bouncing off And you're not bounce off you on a drive-through. So me. I'm teaching teaches guy had a kill. Teachings kind of smash [1:049:11] That's crazy. How old were you? I? Guess 19 somewhere around yeah, that was a before I ever did comedy and that was when I was at my most Insane with martial arts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas I just got down to high school, I had all the time in the world now. And when you're 19, that kind of shit is cool. Yeah, I lived at home until I was 20. So still, I still didn't have bills, really. Right. And I was traveling all over the country fighting. That's all I was doing. Oh, sick. And I taught, so I was teaching at Boston University. I had a credited course. So it was, the J-Hunt Kim Takwan No Institute was a very prestigious place that I went to in Boston. And they, you know, they had developed like a bunch of national champions. Michael Malley and John Lee and guys who represented the United States in major world competitions. [1:050:01] It was like in the L.A. I just got lucky that I found this place. It was where you were. That's where I started. No, I was, I wasn't even anywhere near my house. Oh, really? I was coming home from a baseball game with a buddy of mine. And as we were coming home, we were waiting to get on the T. The T is like, you know, the public dream. Yeah, so I was 15 maybe 14 and so we were just walking down the street and we were there were so many people that were going to get on a tee the line was going to be crazy and so we say let's go check this karate place out and I walked up the stairs and as I was walking up the stairs I caught at the perfect moment one of the best guys in the world training so this guy John Lee and John Lee was the national 175 pound champion and he was preparing to fight in the World Cup. So as I'm going up the stairs I'm here in this sound and this sound is wump, kachink, and that wump is him [1:051:02] kicking the bag and the kachink is the chains rattling as his bag goes flying through the air. So he's got a hundred pound heavy bag and he's sending this thing into the air. And I remember watching going, this is insane. Yeah, you had no idea you're watching the best in the world. No idea. You're like, I can't. Not just the best of the world, but one of the best in the world in his prime fully prepared for the world championships. So he's just full training at his most focused and I'm looking at this dude and I said I want to know how to do that. I had a person could do that. He was kicking so hard. I've never seen anybody kick anything hard before. So for me, and he was known for it, he had the best spinning back kick in the world. And everybody who fought him, there was always a moment you had to wonder if he's gonna spin, if you got too close and he spun, it was so fast. And when it hit you, your liver's destroyed. [1:052:03] He would just slam his right heel into the right side of your body and you would just go down like you got hit by a car. It was horrible. He did it to so many people and he taught me. He taught me how to do it. That's what it's like. It became my number one technique. Learning from this guy. Holy shit. Total dumb luck. So that was the place that I was teaching out of, and that was the place where I was teaching this fucking hitman. Right. Damn. Yeah. Like I know he was in. What did the guy look like? That was the place. That's the place. I walked up those stairs, thousands of times. Damn dude. I used to teach there. That's fucking safe. I taught there, and then they got me the job I got a BU, so I was 19 years old, teaching kids my age to talk window. And I just told him, I'll give you an A if you just try. I said, this is pass fail A, so it counts towards your GPA. I go, all you have to do is show up. And if you can't make it, just tell me. I go, but if you just show up, I go, you get an A. Just try. Yeah. And I'm going to have fun That's a good guy to get you're in the you love this shit so much You're also a kid you're also such a weird job though because I was a kid going into a college to teach him this [1:053:09] Yeah, and I just you know, so I always had to like put on a display before I taught So prove that you know the fuck you know, we had to get the the court cleared and these guys are playing basketball They didn't want to give up the court a lot of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like the basketball players a lot taller than me too. So I would have some dude hold the pad and I'd hold this like body shield and I would just start wailing on that thing. You know, awesome. And then next thing, everybody's going, what is this? What are you doing here? So we're up to teach So that must have been cool though, because you graduate at your out of high school and you're not, did you spend time on the campus at all? It was just to teach. Just to teach. I went to school. I was going to UMass Boston, but it was, it wasn't waste of time. I was literally only doing it so people didn't think I was a loser. Yeah. Like I could say, oh, I'm going to UMass. Go to college. to do fucking back kicks. Yeah. Well, there was no money in this thing that I was obsessed with. [1:054:06] Of course. The only money was there's a little bit of money like you can get by teaching teaching. You know, fucking family. But even family mothers. Oh my gosh. Why do you teach their kids? None of that. I was dude, young. No, I was the middle school. I didn't get a mill for the 21. what was the set up? She was 25. She was one of my students. Yeah, she was, uh, she was older than me She was like the first girl that ever dated that you should tell me what to do and I think it was fun Oh, yeah, that's nice when you get somebody who knows what the fuck's going on sort of she was off by a lot Okay, also very judgmental but hot. She's fun. She's really really smart Yeah, so I would like listen to her. Yeah, yeah. But like I got I got in a car accident. Some old dude ran a light and fucking teabull in my car and fucked my car up. And when I was leaving the car, I was taking my cassettes out. You know, and she saw white snake. She saw white snake and made me leave it in the car. She was leaving the car. [1:055:01] Like what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I go? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I go again on my own. Come on, this is a blank one you're old me. Like this girl that I was fucking and she was so hot was like, your life lessons. Well, I think, or just had to eat pussy, I don't know which one, both. But it was also just that she was older and smarter than me. Yeah, and like accomplished. She like had a career. Oh, wow. And she's just learning karate. Yeah, she's learning Taekwondo And then you just struck it up with self defense or what was she where she goes? No, she's taking class. Oh at at college No, no, no, no, this is at the gym. This is at the Taekwondo school. Oh, yeah, I don't think of like single 25 year old mom's taking She wasn't a mom. You said milk Yeah, but I don't really mean spiritual milk. Yeah, that's why I'm sorry. No, no Yeah, that word gets used too much. Yeah, but she wasn't really she was 25 I was 21. It was just like the first time I did it a woman ice [1:056:00] Girls a day really dumb girl chicks are my age. Yeah, we're all dumb. Yeah Yeah, the she like had a career and she graduated from college who's smart. That's awesome Yeah, when I first moved to New York I was 24 and I fucked a girl. I was like 37 oh shit That's a leap thought that was yeah I only I only got to fuck her once which is you know you didn't do a great job But I did her pussy for what I got that was my first encounter with a squirter. We fuck your actions. Thanks man. That's amazing. We thanks I have to be sure it's real. I Mean you're sure you sure she wasn't peein all over you. She but it was clear I thought about saying I'm often do pee and it's not clear and it's not clear. Yeah Quite a bit. I'm not very hydrated. Okay. That's not good And you gotta think you you also gotta remember, it's not like, you know, we get a rationalized. If someone has so much piss in them, they piss while you're fucking them. Right. They're probably hydrated. That's true. She's my hair. She was a hefty gal. She was, you know, very hydrated. I don't know what it is she drank a lot. They do say it's real, but then they also say it's just pee [1:057:06] I feel like it's real. I've thought about this a lot. It's sort of like Jesus. I believe You can work for you make your own thing faith is beautiful Joe And I believe it's real I believe it's another thing it doesn't taste like piss How do you know a piss tastes like oh you can guess clear piss? I guess I haven I really I guess it doesn't smell like lead ultra runner Suck it in all that water all right not bad It feels cool either way even though even if you as long as you you're right It's pure faith and I choose I choose to believe it's not piss You know, I mean what is it Is it definitively been addressed by science? You're not in wait a minute You're not a doctor. You encountered squirters though Jamie. Yeah, I'd well. Yes, but Jamie I want I would like to Google I would like you to Google what is squirting and is it really just pee? I think you're gonna find it I think you're gonna find a divided scholarship on the [1:058:03] matter I think there's a lot of people that have a vestid interest believe it or a pistol i think it's a big piss money it's growing off the date of conclusions the present data based on ultrasonic graphic bladder monitoring and biochemical analysis indicates that squirting is essentially the involuntary emission of urine essentially sexual activity. Although a marginal contribution of prosthetic secretions to the emitted flu and off it exists, so that's like pussy juice. Well, that's like a little bit more. How about this? How about pussy juice? This says, Dr. Stereas, quoting as a form of stress and content. Isn't it kind of interesting though that we have, like what? You couldn't say pussy juice. Yeah. Like if you're publishing a scientific paper, we must have another word for this term. Proccedent. Proccedent. We've discussed the exact same goddamn thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever pro pussy juice, it's pussy juice. So you're saying we should in the, journals, it's just say pussy juice. Well, just one understanding, I was just a pleasure of a guy, [1:059:06] so if it's the same thing, is that some ladies? But if it's the same thing, if it's the same thing, why is pussy juice offensive? And why is that other long ass word, inoffensive, when they're literally just sounds you make so I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's all it is. I agree with you. I mean, that we're talking about what it was language. Right. You know what I mean? It's like a different word. Specifically with certain things. Yes. Like pussy juice. I think you'd have to go at least, I think maybe vaginal juice. Right, if you were talking to a doctor and the doctor was saying, you got a problem with your pussy was even wearing gloves. Why? Why do you smell like gloves? He's like, oh yeah. Your pH is fucked up. Time for a little lift. He's talking about your pussy. That's not good. Nope. Yeah, your punch all fucked up. [2:0:01] Yeah. You absolutely need some of these words. You got one like the call rusty cunt. Squirting is related to glands in the urethral sponge, which is embedded in the vaginal walls along the sides of the urethra. These glands called skeens glands are part of the urinary system process. Research should have long debated whether squirting liquid contains P or if it's a unique substance in studies where researchers perform the chemical analysis of squirting fluid they found chemicals that are also in urine. But here's the thing. I want to know, but hold on a second, chemical analysis of squirting liquid, they prefer researchers performed a chemical analysis of squirting liquid and how does one acquire such squirting liquid? What scientific studies are you finger banging ladies until they squirt all over the place? It's a pleasure. Five women to find out. Oh my god. They asked them man to pleasure five women. They paid a guy for signing. That's kind of feel awesome to that guy. What did he do? Oh, it's in Japan. Oh. [2:1:00] It's all covered with a circle, baby. All rose leaves in Japan. That makes sense. The way that they were the rising sun, not chalk. Yeah. Down my, of course they did. Some guy just bowing. I probably came in with a briefcase. Two of the women were there in their 30s, two in their 40s, and one was in her 50s. And all of them said they had previously squirted in past sexual encounters. Let's fucking go do it unlike vagal lubrication where a person's vagina secretes a white and milky fluid when they're around squirting a clear and odorless fluid aka squirt pussy juice squirting can happen before or after an orgasm and has geyser like quality yes sex educator marla renais steward previously told cosmopol, imagine if you're a lady and you're a sporting expert. That's a freak. Hell yeah. You know she knows that if you do tricks with a pussy. Here's how it happens. Okay, Dr. Sxammon, the urine from each woman's bladder using a urethral catheter, excuse me. They injected them with 50 milliliters of blue dye saline [2:2:03] solution in another room, women received manual penetration for a male subject, the doctor recruited. They're like, we need the finest finger popper in the land. The finest. In the show, Gennett. I have been fingering in the mountains. So yeah, some guy in the mountains just doing this. They instructed the man to use his fingers and penis. And penis. In a way to facilitate squirting. Let me just say, these gals sound cool. This guy banged them. That's awesome. Fingers and penis. This is crazy. He banged them for the International Journal of Neurology. That is so insane. Scientific finger popping. So what is it find? Each of the five women squirted, Dr. Saw blew liquid liquid come out of their general areas and videos that capture the experiment. They're finding suggests the liquid women produce when they squirt comes at least in part from the bladder. Okay. The urologist wrote in their August 24 paper published in the International Journal of Urology. This is so wild. Okay. They paid a guy to fuck the piss out of these girls. Like literally, he fucked the piss out of them. [2:3:03] He literally fucked the piss out of them moderately fucked the piss. That's awesome And he was like you thought I'd never amount to anything Okay, here's okay ready here about this okay has piss in it right but they have some else in there too right so whatever Pussy juice they couldn't say yeah The vagina as it comes squirt now like guys are about Textible mounts it's probably steroids they find supplements supplements you can find it it's absolutely so here's what I posit even even if it starts as piss water you add cool aid to it cool aid powder now it's cool aid so the piss you add special little concentrated pussy juice in there okay now it's squirt all right piss okay now by a couple maybe a couple you sit in there and now it's squirt. All right, piss track track. Okay. I'm not buying it. Maybe a couple. I'm not scared of piss. But let's just be honest about what it is. That wouldn't bother me if someone peed on me. Agreed, disagree. It's not that big a deal. I wouldn't want, I guess if it was very clear a pin, I guess it was like the well have I busted yet no no [2:4:12] I would fucking body fluid I will say actually Maybe I have encountered some tough squirt Next to be the name of your next special. Don't score it. Don't score it. Oh my god, dude, I have... Now that we're thinking about it, and she was not hydrated. Oh, no! And it was like, you know when you crack open crabs and it has that little yellow shit in there? Yes. That was left on the fucking sheet. And it was so frank, I couldn't get hard afterwards. I ate a pussy. I'm like, oh my god. Oh, man. Oh my god. And she even was like, damn, I need to drink more water. [2:5:00] Did she blast on you? Yeah, dude. In the mouth everywhere? Very much so. Oh my god The amount of urine depends on when the person peed last and how hydrated all right New York University sex researcher Zana Ranglova told mine body green. That's like that's a hot name, too. She sounds like the We were talking about early. Like perfect features. Talking about pests. Angular big ass tits. Yeah. All right. How wild is that Japanese study though? But that's the kind of science you can get away with. If you live in a country, it's more open minded. Yeah, but then again, they fucking blur out the genitals. That's the fucking tradeoff. That's what's wild, but I'll take both. Yeah. The other thing is like, the weird thing is like that this guy, how did he get that job? Did he have to audition? People just like, how the hell was it a fall part as he was recruited? Right, but how they knew he was gonna get hard. Someone was sent out for a recruit for the best. Maybe one of the doctors was a freak. Yeah, they were told. It's just fucking. That sounds also like the plot. This study probably was recorded [2:6:06] and put out with Blair Jennerles. This sounds like the plot of a Jeffery story. This story could be a comedy movie if we had a time machine. Yeah. Yeah. You know, if we could bring it back to like 1994 when you could make a movie. Absolutely. And not go to jail. Yes, yes. It's not go to jail. Yes. Yes. Yes. And not get canceled. You try to make this movie today. The outrage would be off the chart. The Squirt Doctor. You think you could make the Squirt Doctor. No chance. You get this guy. You're gonna have him finger banging these women and start the shit out of them all five of them. And they're hiring this guy to come in and sling dick. It would probably have to be a lesbian. And you fight off these women are just pissing all over them. I don't know. And all their dreams are shattered because they thought they were squirters. They were the rare hot squirters. But meanwhile, just peeing on guys. And now these guys are like leaking that to the world. It gets on the internet. Everybody knows you're just peeing on folks. You're just peeing on folks. If the guy was hot and it's for Oh, I made a nice discovery just now. [2:7:06] What? I found a video of the test. No! Yeah. The actual test? Yeah. Let's go. I love learning, dude. I love science. Whoa! No! This can't be the fucking actual test. Let me see this. I don't know it down or not well the audience can't see this right now. What the fuck is Yo, so that's his fingers interpussy from the back That's what your ass cheeks and this is the blue liquid. There's blue liquid everywhere. Yo, that's him fucking. Oh you see your tits There's blue liquid coming. Oh my first. Well, that's not my has not been my experience. It's dribbling out Look at then there's someone else under there catching it that's crazy and look at those untamed Asian bushes It looks like the other oh my god now that now we're talking that's what I that's oh my god Look at her go what the fuck [2:8:01] Collective yeah, so in the club Oh Girl's got it trimmed though. Oh my god. This is so wild You can tell it's not porn look. It's not blurred. You're right. This is right science science. I'm not hard at all I'll do that for all porn from Japan The music This is insane dude this man is good after it. Can we get it? I don't think they'll let you see his penis. Oh, wow that's I mean she's basically pissing out blue cool legs. Look at that. That is so crazy. She's peeing. She's just peeing. But the one girl the one was squirting. You see that geyser, that fucking pop. She was peeing. I don't know, man. That's what girls do if they were peeing. I'm back and if they had a pee and just laid on their back and peed, it would squirt up in the air. I guess you're right. Yeah, of course I'm right. Jesus Christ. What are you talking about? I wanna believe, brother. I'm just really obsessed with this fucking Japanese. [2:9:06] The guy. The department of urology. Yeah, yeah, did this. Yeah, that's what's fascinating. I want to know the guy. They got this run up the flagpole. You should get the guy in here, maybe. But those fucking doctors, they ran up the flagpole to like, who? And they were like, yeah, let's go. let's go yeah have a high up extra money in the fucking that feels like the the but they're gonna be under budget unless they have one more study and they let one guy be like what if we checked that out of squirt is pissed like beautiful idea how much money they spent to check out of squirt is piss Jamie we sent me that article five this needs further investigation investigation I'm investigating this right now. Five. But you just text me that article. Yes. So there's five women. There's one guy. He only fucks them once. Is it an afternoon? No, he's probably banging them like for months. Yeah, do you think they can't touch afterwards? They have money. They probably put together like a whole series of banks. Wow. You can't just count on one. It's like your film in a special. That's true. One of a few shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [2:010:05] Yeah, I also like they recruited him, but they had to recruit good squirters too. Reliable squirters. Reliable. Girls who had squirted multiple times. But some women pee if they laugh. True. I mean, that's kind of probably similar. The involuntary reaction of... Yeah Do they score it when they're orgasming or they just squirt in the middle of inner no orgasm only? Yeah, is that what they tell you I've listened like I said I've been very upfront with having disgusting squirt my mouth Why would I start lying now? I've established my bone of feeds Oh my God, good point. Thank you. Very good point. So you've never encountered it. You have. No, I've never encountered it. Wow. No. Interesting. Yeah. Well, it wasn't a thing when I was a kid, man. You think it's learned behavior? I think it came about because of porn. Interesting. [2:011:01] I mean, I'm sure, let me be clear. I'm sure it was happening before porn. But it was never like a thing that was discussed. Right, right, right. When I was in high school, like my friends, no one ever talked about a squirter. What was the world? Kids in high school talk about squirters now. That's true. They'll go, I heard Jesus squirter. They'll just like make things up. They just heard of the term squirter. Yes, they've heard someone say girls are squirter. Or they know more now these children. Yeah. What was the weird wildish in anybody did? Like was anal the most wild shit anybody would do? There was no squirting. There was no, I think even anal back then. It felt like a taboo. Yeah, and girls didn't shave. Yeah, it was chaos. It was chaos. First mentioned in the seventh century poem, female ejaculation and the Graftenberg spot, the G spot are described in detail in most works of Commissoutra. An ancient Western writings, the emission of female fluid is mentioned even earlier, depicted at about 300 BC by Aristotle [2:012:02] in the second century by Galen. So even Aristotle got duped So this magical piss study from Japan The dark he's like bro, I'm telling you I get him to squirt I get it Yeah, they're not me. It's where it was no squirters. Yeah, like no one talk about it. They killed socrates because he can't he said it was piss Yeah, they're like shut the fuck up probably Shut the fuck up What do I tell you bitch Let me believe I'm not drinking piss. Yeah, now drink this hemlock. This is gross Well law at least in 2014 a law and the UK where oh at least in 2014, a law in the UK where guidelines state it's fine to depict a woman gagging on a dick, but female ejaculation can only be shown in short sequences. Wow. Can not land on anyone and cannot be consumed. Can not be consumed. Can not be consumed. The U.K. has strict guidelines when it comes to piss. [2:013:01] How did this become an issue for that? Like in porn or just in mood, I've... You can't show There's still holding on to any Any queen any type of control they have over people the Empire is over you pieces of shit But imagine let people drink squirt imagine if you're a grown adult the queen is the one who's passing rules And you're like here's when we have to address yes, we are doing not let folks on each other? Well, I find it rather distaste for when they drink the squirt. Can we make it compromise? Perhaps. I would say, what if the squirt doesn't land on anyone? What if it's only for a short duration? Let's put a time limit on the squirt. I believe five seconds is sufficient. A female ejaculating? Oh no, that won't do. So I unfortunately it is pissed. Kill him. I love this idea. I love this idea that this is like the biggest conspiracy. [2:014:02] There's like, you know, now only the Japanese have brought it to light. But it's interesting because that would have never been, that research would have never been done in America. And if it was done in America, it would seem creepy. It would seem like there's some doctors that are trying to fuck some patients. But because it's done in Japan, I'm like, oh, they probably fall in the rules. Yeah, exactly. You probably do exactly. They do exactly. Yeah, after every time. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Respectful. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like... Yeah, here it was. It doesn't bother me. But if I found out it came out of Cincinnati about it, Oh, what is this fucking freak? What agenda do they have? Like that doctor. What was his name, keys? No. Who is that sex doctor, the famous sex doctor that made a documentary about Dr. Ruth? You know, I don't know. Kinzy. Kinzy, yeah. Was it a documentary? I saw, they had like a, they were in the Liam Neeson plan. That was right, there was a movie. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't a documentary. I think there has been a documentary about him as well into some wild shit. Oh yeah. Like in so much of what, [2:015:05] like people quote his studies, you know, as if like this is information that we now know about people in sexuality. But hold on, coming from who? Yeah, Kinsey. And what are you gonna lack of? Yeah, what are you into, buddy? Oh, how are you? Why, oddly regarded as the first major figure in American sexology his research help pave the way for a deeper exploration the sex sexuality amongst sexologist and the greater public as well as liberating female sexuality but like what is the controversial aspects of his work though uh... i mean i know there's some controversial shit about him i don't i his thing the thing i know about him is the kinsy scale which is like basically saying like no one's fully gay no one's fully straight You're either you know, so like zero is you're the gayest guy of all time five is you're the straightest guy of all time Yeah, or maybe which seems to make sense well. I would imagine if you lived in Roman times [2:016:02] Well, you know, but you as a straight man. Get the curve. A straight man. You grab a curve in Rome. Who's reproduced? Yeah. I like you can't, you're lying if you think that if you were born in Rome, let's get into it. In one BC. Right. That you wouldn't be engaging in gay sex. Get your dick sucked after a nice bath. They all did it Yeah, so what are you gonna do? You're gonna be the one guy who doesn't get your dick sucked? No one guy doesn't suck a little clock Come on, dude. You're being fun. You're but you're bringing down the vibes Dude and I think there was a thing back then with men Where they would go to war and they'd go on these campaigns? Yeah, and they're just a bunch of horny dude fucking each other. And it became, if it's acceptable, it's way more convenient. Right. Matter of fact, I mean, the Spartans were gay as hell. They barely saw, they only saw women to fuck them to reproduce and then they're just hanging out in the barracks and they're fucking each other. Yeah, and there's no way around it. Fighting like savages. Yeah, that's what's crazy is like, some of the scariest armies in history. Oh yeah. Absolutely. Wild. The British are they were taking over the world and [2:017:06] fucking each other in the ass on the ships. What do you think we're going on those that long boat ride in India? Bro why do you think pirates dress like that? Yeah. Yeah. Why is the pirate got a blue scarf on the big earrings? Shut the fuck up that guy's gay as fuck. Sorry bring it back to this ejaculation. Oh my god. James obsessed. They didn't have one guy do it Both the samples also contain prostate specific antigen, which is not originally on the bladder That suggests that squirting is not entirely composed. That's the cool aid powder in my hypothesis Prostates was in my antigen three were able to use their hands alone to squirt while the other two required Penetrate of sexual stimulation in this, from two male partners to square, she was getting tag-teamed. No, each of them had their own. Oh, I see. That makes sense. The guy's going to get tied. Show the girls I can square, but I need two days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's only happened five times. Maybe a thumb in my ass, too. [2:018:01] Yeah, then someone needs to choke me. Who got a tie? They all do science. Yeah. This is science. Is the only way to get a sample. I love it. One guy who's, uh, males can apparently score two. What the fuck he talked about? You're peeing, buddy. Now this is bullshit. We're going to score. No, no, no. See, this is where your belief system falls apart. No, don't do this to me. I'm a naturalist. Journal of urology described a man who had ejaculated then 20 seconds later squirted for about a minute. This fluid was analyzed and also confirmed to be mostly urine. Bro, you peed. I'm talking about female squirt. Get this fucking bullshit out of here. Don't let me in with these fucking lunatics. All right, what I'm talking about is good honest women's pussy squirting. Yeah yeah yeah it's pee. The description of the experiment sounds notably uncomfortable as it involved an ultrasound probe inserted into the man's rectum used to measure contractions in the bladder. Oh my god our studies suck so hard, compared to Japan studies. [2:019:05] You get the nice green tea. I mean, Japan out of nail. This guy's got a fucking radar machine up his ass. Boop. Boop. Boop. He's glowing. His balls are glowing red. What are you doing? What are you doing to that guy? That's great. I've never heard of male squirting. But also, if you've got something up your ass, it's your body's behaving absolutely. Yeah, you've got a finger up your ass You'd be different it would be different. It would be different. No, a rot of rice. How do we know the rods not pressing on the rod probably feels good to him? Yeah, it's probably stimulating guy. Oh I was squirting Yeah, you're a fucking weird You didn't even hold it in yeah, told it in man Maybe you have that rod in your ass Maybe it makes it more difficult. Yeah, yeah, I just did some kegels right I just think my ass Might affect performance Yeah, if I got a big rod on my ass, I'm probably pissing too. I probably would be like my life's already over [2:020:05] Everybody fuck you. Yeah, I mean, mail-scorting's definitely pissing. That we can, there's some common ground. And girl-scorting is pissing too. Yeah. You're really fucking fine. I admit it, man. You can do it. Stop, stop, run my nose. I mean, I just want to like, respect the Japan Institute of Urology. You know what the name of the organization again? That was actually, I mean, this is the International Institute. I don't know. International. They brought it worldwide. A lot of scientists are like, how do I get in on some of these tests? My also want to know. I hate y'all the right, it's a test in the international journal of yourology. But it was. It's a journal of yourology. And let's give the, let's shout them out. Miyabi Inoui, Yuki Segaguchi, Noriko Nino Mia, Tomoko Kobayashi, Muto Araki. Dude, you're really good at pronouncing names. You want a job? Yeah. You can work here. You can just pronounce names for me, because I can't do it. I'm fucking terrible. Can you say what the university or what the organization was [2:021:01] that put it together? First publish. What was the, I mean, there was an institute that published it. Yeah, click that. Does it say down there? No, it's, I don't. It was something Japan Institute of Eurology or something like that, wasn't it? Go up, go up to the very first. Which is even wilder, right? Hit the pitiac. It's a Eurology. Yes that link the link up there the dot dot no that link up oh we have to have access oh these sons of bitches well salute to the proud Japanese people anyway whoever did it way to go female ejaculation is gording as similar but comparatively different from on narrative narrative review of current research there's a lot of people in denial there's a lot of people want to believe in leprechauns like i'm telling you yeah but it's fun you know it's with the leprechauns are real'm telling you. Yeah, but it's fun, you know? It's that leprechauns are real. Like, no, you ate mushrooms. Yeah. Yeah, but maybe that's how you meet leprechauns. That's true. Am I okay? Yeah, I have no, let's. Now we need to do a little research. Yeah. I mean, that research. I a tree on mushrooms told me to date a woman I would date for two years And it was nice, you know in Seattle I'm on mushrooms. I'm like what should I do with my life boy? [2:022:10] They should make those legal they should make those legal and come up with the right doses for people and develop Centers were professionals can introduce people to them because just what they've found with people recovering like soldiers coming back Yeah, it's one of the very best things to help them get over it. I mean just out alone you would think that that's a resource that's very valuable. If you require of people to go to a foreign land and kill people they don't know. And then when they come back you just don't address the fact that their mind is completely fucked. And then you don't, or you purposely ignore one ancient method that's not dangerous, that's been shown to be effective. And if you worried about abuse, I get it. I get the worry about abuse, but then we need to figure out places where you have treatment [2:023:02] centers for people that do wind up abusing things and that you also have trained physicians that can determine the effect of dose and give you a pure product Well, you don't have to worry about buying it off some fucking weirdo. You met a parking lot. Yeah, there's no mushrooms mushrooms Inventinal, you know, I think they're starting to I mean, I've seen I think there are some there's some states like that Well, they just denied it in California. Oh, what yeah, which I would think of in any place that they would take it But news some even though I don't agree with them on most things. I actually I saw its point because he was saying that they didn't submit a protocol for use and for a bunch of other things. Like if it's going to be used therapeutically, like what are the guidelines? Right, right, right. Has it get administered? They were just kind of decriminalized. Hey, come on, let's do it. And he felt like it should be decriminalized with information. Medically first. Well, the same way we'd work with the protocol. Right, come up with like, this is what we know you should do. Yeah. Like, Amsterdam, they have, they're legal, but it's like truffles, it's not even, [2:024:06] it's like the fresh ones. You can only buy certain doses, but those bad ones will fuck you up. They're all fuck you up. When Duncan Trussle lived in Aspwell, he lived in North Carolina. Yeah. And they started putting certain chemicals into the cow's feed to keep them from making mushrooms because so many of them made mushrooms because apparently the spores are everywhere up there yeah so mushrooms town but that's why the town's fucked now what the mushrooms away well you got your fill with crime yeah yeah you got like ashrill dunkel was telling me has like a crazy high crime rate really yeah i've ever imagined for ten years but it felt like like what's the crime rate of Asheville North Carolina a Lot of fucking wedding times are getting stolen all their money went away during the pandemic You know, I would imagine that ramped up crime everywhere, you know Everybody's forced to not work. Also, it's a small town. You know, it's not it's pretty small [2:025:01] Big robust town that's backed up by a big industry or needs's like that. Well, are those people like service workers? Because I had a friend in New York who were like, they were on unemployment and they're like, whoa, this is better than my shitty job. That was a problem. Yeah. That was definitely a problem. And that made me rethink universal basic income. Like, pro or negative? Well, I used to be pro. I used to be super pro universal basic income. And my thought was, if you give people, no. I thought it was, I mean, from, I'll get to speak from like, this isn't like, you know, a study, but it helped the people eyeing you where it was like, it didn't, like, they didn't get lazy. They were just like, holy shit, I can pay my bills. That's unemployment I'm talking about universal basic gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha got Which is fine though, right? Kind of. But if that wasn't available to them, [2:026:06] would they figure out a path in life? And how many people get tripped up by winning a lottery ticket? Like, don't all of them get tripped up by winning a lottery? Doesn't everybody get tripped up? It's pretty high, yeah. So do certain things. There's a human psychology aspect to giving people free shit that I don't think is beneficial. I just don't think it's beneficial. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a social safety net. Right. I feel like welfare is important. I feel like food stamps are important. I feel like health care is important. All those things are very important in education. I fully support that. Okay. I mean, if you want to use taxes, I've fully support using instead of tanks. Yeah, well that's the best one. But I kind of think that people need to do things. And I kind of think giving people free money is a bad idea. Yeah, I mean, I think given those two options, I much prefer social safety than for that reason, where it's 100%. It's like even if your job isn't, even if your job is kind of bullshit, [2:027:01] if your basic human needs are taking care of, you can like, you still go to work and make ends meet, but it's like, if you get sick, you're not worried that you're gonna fucking, you bankrupt your life's over. If you can like- But you're not contributing if you're not doing anything. Right. If you're just taking that $1200 and you're just living and you're not contributing at all, you're literally a sponge. I think people would feel better if they had something that they did that gave them a sense of purpose. Whatever it is. And I think that trying to find that thing and be successful at that thing is a part of the process that everybody has to go through to find themselves. And you deny someone that thing if you just give them free money. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't be able to give money to unemployed single mothers, people that got fucked over by society, you get fired, you have a monthly nut. I think we should have a social safety. I think it's important, but I also think if you just gave people money, [2:028:03] a lot of people wouldn't do shit. Yeah, you're more people money, a lot of people wouldn't do shit. Yeah, you're putting up more people than would. The rare person that even with that free money says, I'm gonna take this fucking money. And this is why I'm only gonna spend half of it and I'm gonna invest the other half and I'm gonna get a job as well. And I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna fucking make something. There's some of those people, but those are super rare. Now you're right about that. It's human nature, man. And I think that, yeah, I think the, I prefer what you're saying is like, yeah, let's get, let's, let's cover our bases, which we don't do right now. And I think the thing that, I think just as likely for if you give somebody free money that they're not gonna do shit, we're fucking trapped in this it. Where it's like that zapping all that human potential too because those people are just surviving at shit, they don't have time to fucking, because they just have to make rent fucking, everything is more expensive. You don't have any time to fucking, and I do agree with you that kind of the middle ground is get their basic needs met and then let them be able [2:029:02] to work but not have to fucking work, you know, 60 hours a week or whatever the fuck, or work, 40 hours, but it's grueling for less pay, like, because you do need that time, you need that space to, I think you're actually- If you wanna get it right. And you wanna figure your own path in life, you gotta have some time. Yeah. It's gonna either cut into. Totally. That's the one benefit for a motivated person for universal basic income. But my feeling was when I watched everybody during the pandemic when they were all getting unemployment, how many people did wanna go back to work? They just wanted that free money. I was like, oh, this is wild. I mean, but some of that also is that they were like, because my friends were like, what the fuck, this is like the, like I'm making less money, working hard as fuck on what unemployment pays. Like this is what the government thinks you barely need to subsist, and when I go back to work, I make less than this, and I work fucking hard as shit. I mean, it's also a problem of like, I think people also saw in that moment [2:030:01] how mistreated they were being and how underpaid they were being a lot of the time where it's like this low pay Which it wasn't that much money right well? They started ramping up pay a lot of places after the pandemic. Yeah, they ramped up pay everywhere like they advertise like high pay Like places like McDonald's yeah, yeah, yeah, like what does McDonald's pay now? I think it pays like $18 an hour something like 20 what is how much is McDonald's pay? I think it depends. I was watching through Bucky's. Yes, that he's Bucky's famous for Bucky's. I was looking at like if you're a manager, you make a quarter million dollars a year. Pretty sick. And probably and probably the only place where that's kept pace with inflation. Yeah. Well, yeah, 21, 10, 21, 20, 7, 25 is in like Dothan, Alabama. Yeah. But I wonder, I wonder, even this, I wonder. Austin, Texas, 7, 25 to 20. Boy, that's a big jump. That's probably like, that's three times as much. Yeah. But I get to cash here. Yeah. That's what a cashier makes. [2:031:00] Not a manager. That's good. The manager gets double that. Yeah, yeah. But I would, even the place where they're ramping up pay, I wonder what that even is in comparison to inflation from that same job in 1970. Good question. You know what I mean? Or, and then. 1255. Yeah. Have you, do you see that video? There's a video that was going around today of people in Chicago that are furious that the government is giving so much money to all these immigrants that are illegally migrated into Chicago. I didn't see that. They're giving them cell phone and 12 hundred bucks whatever it is and these people are fucking freaking out. And these people that were Democrats are like, hey, if Trump wants to talk to us, come talk to us. We're tired of this shit. And I'm like, wow, this is wild to save. These people are waking up. Why are you giving people that aren't even from here all this money and a free phone and all this shit? You're not giving anything to us? I mean, yeah, that is fucked. It's like, fuck. I think those people deserve it, but that's like, we're seeing this like, why aren't regular people getting that same shit? Why isn't everybody just get that? Why is that person getting special treatment [2:032:07] where it's like, we're just fucked? I mean, that's the same. They shouldn't get it either. What they're doing is they're trying to buy votes. That's what I think they're doing. I try, they're trying to get rid of voter ID and they're trying to bring people in, they're all allowed people to get in and make it easy for them to travel all around the country And if someone like let you in the country when you vote for them, but they can't vote can they well what if they can? It's I mean, but they're talking about not having voter ID But you have like what do you think that they were talking about it in New York? They were gonna try to make it so that you weren't as if you weren't a citizen you could still vote in New York Interesting. That was something I was discussed right? I don't know because my dad Who would have think about New York? I think it was discussed, but I don't know that's it Attempts to have people that were immigrants capable of voting in New York whatever you would search it under But my dad straight can't vote. He's been here, you know 40 years or 50. Yeah, 40 so if they start changing things Look Why else would you want that many people to cross over? I would want those people to cross over if I was wanted one of two things [2:033:07] I wanted chaos or be I wanted voters Yeah, that's what like while country did they brought in the homeless people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same kind of Well Here oh, yeah struck down. Okay state Supreme Court judge from Staten island said click on it so I can read it so state supreme court judge from statin island said the measure which would have allowed more than 800,000 non-citizens devote violated the state constitution so they're trying to pass this measure imagine what would be the motivation what would be the motivation of allowing people that Are illegal aliens? Well, they're permanently residents permanent legal residents So they're basically like guys like my dad who these are just people that are not American citizens Yeah, yeah, like yeah somebody with their green. I mean some people like I said I don't think my dad is ever gonna become a citizen also only applied to me local [2:034:03] So non-citizens, what's the technical term for a non-citizen? If you're not a citizen and you're here, legal resident, illegal legal legal. So do you have a green card? Yeah, green card. Forever? Or is it an expired? Agent residency requirements. Agent residency requirements. Yeah, so it's like, I mean, look, you could debate that, but it's not the same as a legal immigrant. It's like people, it's basically people that have been in that place and they don't want to become citizens. Right. You can be able to vote for municipal elections, not national elections. But if you're a Democrat or if you're a Republican, let's see it on the other side, imagine you're a Republican and you do this. And you say we're gonna let people who aren't even citizens vote. Who do you think those people are gonna vote for? They're gonna vote for the people that are allowing them to vote. Yeah, just especially if you're not politically savvy. Now, I'm glad you held, it's like fucking Tamini Hall. Like in gangs in New York where it's like you vote like four times. Right. They're just bringing the fucking Irish people off the boats and like, put a shave your mustache and go vote again. Like that kind of shit. Yeah. I'm sure there's a lot of that. [2:035:05] Well, that's the old, yeah, that's how it always used to be. That's how they always did it. But the thing is it's like if you wanted the laws on voting to be more lax and you wanted citizens that are here, but they're not legal. They're not, right? You could believe that's but or not or not that's next i don't think you'd be able to get anybody to fucking go how are you trying to get people to vote for someone is not a citizen vote it well that's always been the thing like you cannot vote if you're not a citizen there i guess just reading off that right i don't know anything else that to me i don't know that i don't have to think about it but it's like what they're what they're saying is if you've been here a while, you're a legal resident. You're part of this community. You pay taxes, you do all that stuff. You can vote in local municipal elections. You can't vote for fucking Senator. You can't vote for fucking President. You can vote for Alderman. You can vote for fucking State House Representative because they directly affect your thing, which is at least a reasonable argument [2:036:00] as opposed to an analysis and can have the full legal protection. But I see what you're saying. He's a battle argument. Why don't you make him citizens? Yeah. Like what do you do? You guys have been here for 30 years? You think he's a spy? Yeah. Like I know. What do they have to do? If someone's a productive member of society who have been here for 20 years, and they work, but they just keep going green card to green card. Sit the guy down. Is he cool? Yeah. Like a fucking red man. Red man. That's true. I mean, I can tell you my dad didn't do it because he like, he got mad. He got like a question wrong and he like spelled, he like spelled like George Washington wrong or some shit. That's it. And I mean, he was, this is, you know, his recollection. Okay. But he just like, he was not doing great in like the whatever point he got mad and he was like whatever fuck it I don't want to be an American anyway Cuz he just didn't ace the test and he never went back. He's like I don't give a fuck That's hilarious. So he's just been here forever But yeah, I get what you're saying if they are if they have shown some kind of you know, yeah Well, it's kind of crazy that you just be born here like if you if you're geographically on the right pile of dirt, you get to get American. [2:037:05] You fucking won the geopolitical lottery. Yeah. It's fucking sick. I mean, fuck out. Fuck out. And then it's like, and if you don't do that, it's like Greece is a perfect example where, like Yannis at the Kumbu, right? My favorite basketball player is fucking awesome. His family were, they were Nigerian immigrants and that he was born in Athens. You know, his family clearly loves Greek culture. They name their fucking kids Greek names. You know what I mean? Like he grew up there. He didn't have anywhere. He wasn't Nigerian, right? He couldn't claim that. And they didn't give him citizenship until he was a fucking famous basketball player. Like it's like fuck dude where it's like you got to prove it. But yeah. And where it's like you gotta prove it but and otherwise it's like what do you do if you don't but also you have to make it kind of difficult otherwise you get spies that just come over here from Russia and become citizens and run for president. Like that's a real thing too. Well that's the real back there. I mean isn't that what the real fear about someone like Arnold running for office? [2:038:01] Yeah. They would say oh he's not born here. But how nutty is that? You have to be born here. The fucking guy's been here most of his life. Yeah, no, that's true. But even though he's a citizen, since his mother didn't have him come out of her body on this soil, it doesn't count. Yeah. It's not as weird. No, I do think There was some talk of trying to challenge it, but. Yeah, but that, obviously. But here's even crazier. How about, if you're born in Vancouver, that does not, you're not allowed to come over here. But if you're born in fucking Hawaii, that's five hours across the ocean in a jet. Well, that's America. Dude, we, some got in the 30s, we really wanted pineapples. So that's, you know what I mean? Or Alaska. Yeah, yeah. How about Alaska? Yeah, that place is new. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. They bought that in the 1800s. Rush is like, yeah, what the fuck are we doing with this? We're doing this place. Yeah, have it. It don't know if you call that a purchase. [2:039:09] That was more like a come on. Tony's a pronto. I think they were just like, can we have it? And they're like, don't even understand what they're talking about. And they're like, he said, yes, it's ours now. And then like, can we give this back? And they're like, uh, we know like. Right, imagine like someone saying, can we buy this from you? And you're like, yeah, give me $50. I was like, okay, yeah, fucking idiots. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like not, dude, we got them. They said it. Exactly, exactly. They probably had no concept of it. If you think about it, if you live in TPs and you're no mad at it and you travel. The idea of owning a spot? Yeah, whatever it is. Like what are you gonna do here? Yeah. You gonna stay here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever the fucking deer leaves. What if fucking morons be more morons? It's gonna starve here. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, claiming it was sold is always like, come on. That's a very good point that I've really never considered. So just now Just now Let's talk about squirting for other 45 minutes [2:040:10] Made in American squirted. Yeah, the Eagles breath This one will be a warrior Conceived of the Eagles breath shall grow to be chief We've ever seen the video the girl getting her vagina tattooed and she squirts and the tattoo in her face. That's crazy. I think it's fake though. Do you think it's fake Jamie? I think it's set up. Yeah, probably. The angle looks good. The angle is too good. It's like you're seeing her leg and you know he's in there. Yeah, he takes it in the face from the side. No. You know it just seems. Nah, we saw some real footage and so the folks that I'm sorry you weren't a part of this educational process Also, I would imagine if you get your vage tattooed You probably want curtains up. Yeah, you know, you wouldn't be like out there. Yeah, that's fake as shit Yeah, let me see so it's running up. It looks like someone had a hose underneath their butt See like oh, yeah, she's getting her That's not a spot, but she's also more time, please [2:041:11] But it's also more time please But it's also like why is she getting her badge tattooed while these guys are just hanging out looking at their phone Oh, that's like the SNL sketch where they were all throwing up. Yeah, that's two better their fucking risk so fake Yeah, it's too thick to Yeah, if he has a dick If it comes out that hard hard Big, big fat hard dude. That's yeah. Think about that. You're going on German. We're talking about a fucking yeah. Look at that. That's insane. We're talking about a five inch around dick and it looks like it's coming from below her. Yeah. Like it's coming from under her cheeks. Very poorly done. Well, they got me. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a little maners. There's so much of that now. Yeah. You never know what's real and what's fake. I know, dude. Except grainy ring camera footage from third world countries that people get in shot. That's right. That's a lot. That's really sure. Or Russian dash cam. Yeah. Those motherfuckers are getting fucked up. Thanks to them. It is wild. Did you see that uh... [2:042:00] Drive by yesterday? Where? There's a video that goes around. I feel like every day that everybody ends up seeing. Yesterday was this crazy drive by video. I don't know where. Can we sit? Let's close. Close the good old American drive by. And by the way, before we close, I just what I brought you a calendar. I never can't do anything. It's 2024. The Stavvy Baby Erotic Calendar. go watch the special by the calendar oh yeah I'm naked in all of them yeah may I see your titties a lot of good stuff shot in Austin or pool in Austin for reference on the Terminator huh pretty good That's fucking badass. Hell yeah, there you go. The Olympics. So this is it? Oh yeah, this is a video. I'm not going to show it online, but just still frame if you want to find it yourself. OK. Look on Twitter. Type and drive by. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, fuck. Oh, that's too loud to watch. [2:043:01] But there's a whole breakdown here. Watch like this guy down here. He's still fighting this guy's still fighting. Oh, no, dude. That sucks Fuck this is not the video is not over. Oh, no dude coming back. We're still shooting. They're still shooting this guy is still oh my god God damn Stefan is like America. Oh Fuck, but they're about to come back and finish. No! Oh my god. See, this guy almost tries to get up. Oh, this fucking guy. What are you doing, man? He's just checking. He knows this is over. Now this is bad. There's a guy up here. You can't see. And he starts unloading on a And they all come up and finish oh Fuck he shot the head off his fucking head Oh my god, that sucks dude. It's really more violent more violent What the fuck Second sucks in this video. Oh, this [2:044:01] No What the fuck oh my god God Oh my god, it becomes not a drive by anymore to dude. No, don't you the fact I am the house? Not it looks like those are the only guys that could try it. Oh Very targeted. Oh Make sure that everyone was dead. Oh my god. What the fuck dude? Oh my god Yeah, this went crazy viral yesterday yesterday Where is this supposedly taking place? I don't know I just saw this is the craziest for a drive by video And then I saw five more times over there Good God oh my god There's so much of that kind of stuff now Available online because of fucking these cameras And shit and cell phones Like Instagram is flooded with that stuff Dude that's fucking wild Me and shit and cell phones like Instagram is flooded with that stuff. Dude that's fucking wild. Me and Seger every day send each other shit. Like the worst shit we could find. I kind of upset that I didn't send them that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get it to my pocket. Yeah. Cause probably my Instagram is purely like you know is like girls with huge tits stretching. Good for you. You know. That's a healthy [2:045:04] algorithm. That's a healthy algorithm That's a mistake. So I'm actually been on my yeah watching guys grill stakes and then girls with huge tits stretching muscle mommies Of course, oh, I wouldn't I'd be remiss not to take you know I come on the show yearly to beg for muscle mommy pussy So we did it last time if anybody's around I did fuck one strong girl this year I like to get those numbers up. I hear you This is the place to call for it. This is probably a lot of Jack girls in the gym right now going, he's funny. Yeah. I've had enough big day before. Yeah, no. Come on. And of course, watch the special, please. Special, it's out now. Out now, fat rat school. I'm very proud