#2061 - Whitney Cummings


6 months ago




Whitney Cummings

10 appearances

Whitney Cummings is a stand-up comic, actor, author, and host of the podcast "Good for You." Her new comedy special "Mouthy," will have its exclusive premiere via OFTV on Nov. 15, 2023.https://whitneycummings.com

ChatJRE - Chat with the JRE chatbot


No timestamps yet... Create the first?


Write a comment...


6mo ago

Hey man I know you have kicked a bag.... but have you ever kicked a bag.... on weed? 😂





Episodes from 2023

Updated after each new episode

Fallback Player


At the club, everybody's doing smelly salts. Between the kratom and the smelly salts. You gotta keep the kratom away from dunking. That motherfucker drinks cases of that stuff. It's so crazy. We get there. And is kratom naturally occurring? It's like a... It's a plant. Plant? Yeah. That stuff is the live free or whatever it's called. What are those things called, Jamie? What is it called? Live free? Something like that? I don't know. But they used to have them at Sun Life. You know that place? Organics? Yeah. But then, you're not supposed to drink... They're that big. And you're supposed to drink half a bottle. But they're not clear. So you have to hold it up to the light to see where half is. You gotta guess what half is. And a lot of people were just drinking the whole thing and they were getting fucked up. Yeah. There was a time when you were out of town and I was at the mothership and everyone was doing four or five things. I was like, you guys, when Joe leaves, we can't all just get addicted to drugs. When you're out of town, it is a little different up there. It's kind of an opiate. I don't know. What exactly is kratom? It kind of is an opiate. And it's legal? It's legal? Yeah, it's legal. Totally legal. I had a guy that was on my podcast once that used to be an opiate addict and then he started taking kratom. And they were selling it as pills. And he said, well, if you take a small amount of it, it actually acts as a stimulant. But if you take a larger amount of it, it's a different effect. So I said, how many do you take? He says, I take 10. I go, you take 10. He goes, I take 10 before I work out. I'm like, okay, I'll try it. So I took 10. I was high as fuck. It's a weird high because it's like, I felt like, you know, I'm pretty aware of my body. So I'm like, my motor skills feel perfect. I don't feel like anything's wrong. I feel like I could go do stuff. Like I'm not like, oh, like shit, like drunk or anything like that. I go, but I'm definitely affected. So what is this? Like, would this affect judgment? Would this affect your reaction time? Like, I shouldn't drive like this. But pain tolerance down, that's probably good for working out. I guess. Is it though? I did kind of used to like to smoke weed and work out. I like smoking weed and work out. Yeah, well, smoking weed and working out makes me feel like I know what my muscles are doing. Yeah, you like feel every focusing more neighbors and shit. You know what it's really good for technique. Like when you learn martial arts technique, like there's certain like there's certain things about like kicking a bag in particular. When I'm not when I haven't smoked weed. I mean, I've been doing it my whole life. So I know how to do it. But then if I smoke weed, I feel like where the little leverage points are. I feel like where the torque comes in. I feel like though. I feel the weight distribution. It's like just you're more sensitive, just more present in your body. It makes you so much better pool. It makes my pool game like yeah, like there's a term in pool like a ball. Like say if we're playing nine ball and you're better than me, you'd give me the eight ball. That means like it's a big advantage to have the eight ball. That means I don't just win by winning by making the nine ball. I can make the nine ball or the eight ball. So that's like it gives you a ball. That means so like when I smoke pot, I'm one ball better. Like legitimately. I'm like I'm like 10 percent better easily, maybe more. Is there any in pool like shade on taking Adderall or smoking weed or there's no like no one cares? Yeah. People talk shit about you, but they all do it right. Like pool players are notorious drug addicts. Cocaine is probably great for. There's I've met more. I didn't even know drugs. I didn't really understand drug culture when I started hanging around in pool halls because I had gone from being a fighter to being a comedian. So in fighting, there's no drinking, no partying, no nothing. All throughout high school, I was like very rarely did I imbibe in anything. I was all just about competition. And then I started hanging out with comedians and the ones that were doing drugs like God, their life was falling apart. And then I started hanging out in this pool hall and they were all doing drugs. Everybody was doing something. There was guys doing heroin. There was guys that were crack addicts. And one of my best friends was a crack addict. Have you seen this video where Boozy the rapper is endorsing crack over fentanyl? Have you seen? Dude, it's so it's a good point. Crackheads live. He's like my crackhead friends I've known for 20 years. He's like they're around. They can do anything. They have powers. Well, you know, crack is just cocaine. It's just another way. You just cooked. It's yeah, it's free-basing cocaine. And the scary thing is, even though we know that, it's one of the most racist laws that's ever been enacted where the difference between the sentencing for someone who gets caught with crack versus someone who gets caught with an equivalent amount of cocaine, it's like a giant disparity. Wow. Do you think Deion Sanders say this too? Oh, shit. Oh, I don't know who that is. That's it's Boozy. B-O-S-I. Oh, no, this is also. You've ever been on a field with? No, my cousin June Bull, he was a crackhead and a good dude though. But he was very athletic because he was still stuck when I came home from college. Could never catch him. Could never catch him. And he was selling. And I would have to go get it back at the hood from the drug dealers. He was probably the most athletic, my cousin June Bull. Next to that, I think it was Bull. It's cousin June Bull. Imagine there's some dude out there, June Bug the crackhead, that's more athletic than a guy who's widely regarded as being one of the most athletic humans that's ever lived. And then the boozy one is. But June Bug's more athletic than Boo Jackson. What the fuck? June Bug the bird-crier of the hood. There was this dude I used to talk, I've talked about him many times, but his name was Water Dog. He was a guy who would do something, or they would call him Buffalo Bill. And he was this pool player and he would do heroin. So he would go into the bathroom and shut the door and he'd be in there for 20 minutes and everybody knew what he was doing. And then he'd go out and he'd sit on a bar stool like this with his hands in front of him like a bird. T-Rex, yeah. Yeah, and just like this. And he would sit there for like 20 minutes. And then he would get down and he had like gerbil eyes, like black eyes and he couldn't miss. He would play pool, he just wouldn't miss. He knew how much time he needed for it to calibrate. And then. He was so accurate. It was stunning. He had no nerves. That's wild. He didn't feel anything. Because pool is gambling. The reason why it's called, it's pocket billiards is the name of the game, but pool is pooling money together to gamble. So like the real pool players, almost all of them gambled. And takes away inhibition. So you're not. He had no fear. He had no nerves. He would just fire these balls into the hole. And it's like really tight pocketed table playing for like $10,000. And I was like, this is nuts. I wonder what it's like. I've never done heroin. Must be must be pretty awesome if people are trading their kids for it. Yeah, I got morphine when I had my knee surgery once. It was like, by the way, if you hear me and I sound funny, ladies and gentlemen, I just got out of a cold bunch. I just got out. So I'm like, so if I sound like I'm on heroin, I'm just cold. But what was I saying? I do it heroin. It takes all your fears away. When you did methadone? Oh, yes. So no, it was. I wonder what methadone is like in comparison to. Is it methadone basically Adderall? Like we've done Adderall. I think it's like a kind of an opiate, but it doesn't get you high. Just makes you stupid. But we can go to San Francisco and get some. I think you can just walk in. Easy. You don't even have to have a prescription. I had a knee surgery and when I was in the hospital, they had me on a morphine drip. And apparently this is in the 90s. I don't know if they still do this, but you could hit a button. And when you hit a button, you would get more, more morphine. And it was wonderful. It was wonderful. Have we ever done fentanyl like at the doctor? Like if I've gotten a surgery, could I have I done fentanyl or is that propofol? Propofol. Propofol is the stuff that puts you under. Fentanyl is a prescription drug though. They give people fentanyl patches. There's prescription. It's just so strong. What is it like a hundred times stronger than heroin or something? Do you want to see the boozy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so epic. Play. Play. People, to stop taking fentanyl and go back to crack. Crack. I'm promoting it. Fitting all, killing all the junkets who been junkets. I'm telling you, it's killing the junkets who been junkets forever. Soon as they hit it, they did. Crack head, this nigga shoot threes, this nigga shoot basketball. This nigga run a hundred miles. This nigga get sang. This nigga fix your car motor. Been doing this for 20 years. This motherfucker still running around the neighborhood. What have you ever heard crack head hitting the pipe and dying the first time? Never. Never. This fentanyl shit is different. I would much rather crack. I would much rather, much rather crack. He's making logical sense. I been hitting my crack head people for 30 years. True. This nigga hit fentanyl two times. He's going, you never see him again. Right. I promote crack before fentanyl. I'm sorry. Right. And you know something? He's right. He's saying that and he looks fabulous. He says they have power. Anything, bro. And they still smoking crack and they're still together. They can do anything, bro. Crack head, bro. Whatever was in crack, they gave him a real power. He jinxed the video of the crack head with a camera. No, I ain't seen it. He goes, you ever seen the video of the crack head with a kangaroo? Covered in diamonds, designer sunglasses on, multicolored puma. Crack was not killing people the same way. He's right. He's 100% right. He's 100% right. Yeah, my friend Johnny, he didn't die from crack. My friend who was a crack head, he died from heroin. He wound up getting on pills. He died from opiates. I told you about what happened with, I had a raccoon in my yard. You've got Guatemalans trying to sneak over the fence. Did you have like the fucking people casing your house? The teams that were... The Chilean mafia. The Chilean mafia, that's right. So the only people cleaning up homeless people now in LA are Scientology and the Chilean mafia. And the Chilean mafia basically takes homeless people, gives them a BMX bike, gives them like outfits. And yeah, and I sent you the video of them casing my house because they were robbing people in Brentwood and Santa Monica, causing all kinds of shit. Yeah, they're well known. It's like a well known organization. Nobody cares. Scientology takes them in? That's what I'm hearing. That's a smart move. Super smart. That's like wild, wild country. Remember? Wild, wild country. They took in all the homeless people. They took homeless people so that they could win the election. It's like the smartest shit. And then after they were done, they're like, yeah, we're done with you. And they were putting the beavers in blenders. Remember? And they were like putting beavers in blenders. Beavers in blenders. And they in wild, wild country, they're putting like squirrels and beavers and blenders and stuff to make everybody sick so that they wouldn't vote. Oh, well they poisoned people. Right. They went to the salad bar. That's right. And put like bacteria so people had such bad diarrhea they didn't go vote. That was that Sheila lady. Sheila. She was scary. To that bitch. I would not fuck with her. That bitch is scary. I would not fuck with her. Tough titties. Wasn't it that? So I have this raccoon in my yard and it's acting really weird and I'm poking at it. Because the way they sleep is they just like, you know, sort of bend over a branch or whatever. But I was poking at it. It wasn't moving. It wasn't behaving like a raccoon. And so I call animal control. This is like the most California fucking response. I'm like, I have this raccoon in my tree. And she's like, yeah, that's where they live. I'm like, yeah, no, this is where I live, bitch. It's sick. Something's wrong with it. Last thing I need is a fucking coyote eating it. And then we have rabid coyotes. I'd have to deal with that shit. And she goes, well, a lot of the wild animals in California are acting really weird right now because people are testing their cocaine for fentanyl. And if it tests positive, they flush it down the toilet. So there's fentanyl in the water. So the coyotes and raccoons are acting really weird. What? That's what she said? I was like, if you're telling me there's fentanyl coyotes, I get it the fuck out of here. But how? Wait a minute. What about people? Do people get that water? How is that? Where's that water going? I mean, they already probably. Where's that? Like, does that mean that wastewater from a toilet flushing goes out into the streets? What is this, Rome? I know. Probably. This is how they started the Black Plague. Headed for the same fate, it seems. Well, that's what started a lot of the plagues. Like people had terrible hygiene back there, terrible sanitation. Crazy. There's a book called Dissolving Illusions. It's about the invention of vaccines and the conditions that people lived in. In like the early 1900s in major cities. Like you don't think about it, but if people didn't have trucks, because trucks didn't exist, like how did they shit? Where did they, how did they get their food? Well guess what? They didn't. They didn't get good food. So they didn't get any fresh vegetables. No one's getting any vitamins. And everywhere is like an open sewer. They had like these equivalent to like large outhouses on these blocks and it's just horrible sanitation. Horses shit eight times a day. They're walking through horse shit. That mud was all shit. But that's probably the most sanitary shit they're walking through. Because horses are just eating grass. But humans, we're eating meat and all kinds of other stuff and it's fucking coming out of your ass. Dog shit smells so much worse than deer shit. Like deer shit doesn't smell like anything. It smells like nothing. Because they just eat grass. They eat grass, they shit grass. It's like just grass going through their digestive system. But dog shit's just like, what did you eat Sally? Sally's over there eating dead raccoons and squirrels. People used to die of just dysentery. If you had one cut and walked down the street. Well how about staph infections? Well they probably do die of staph infections today if they don't get taken care of. Staph infections are scary as shit. And people have always got those. You just get cut and you get infected. It's wild. I mean it's like yeah with all these issues now with depression and anxiety. Back then you had such real things to worry about. Like how do I get home without getting covered in shit. Without getting dysentery. There was no time to be depressed. That was the only thing to be anxious about. You were always vulnerable. Think about all the times when you were a kid where you got hurt. Like when I was a kid I broke my arm once. You fall down. You gotta go to the doctor. You get this and that. Back then kids just died. They just died. You got a broken leg. You're dead. But also I'm fascinated because I'm about to have a kid and I want to make sure he has a little adversity. And like I was with a friend of mine at the playgrounds now. They're like rubbery and they're all made of plastic and shit. Like when's the last time you saw a kid in a cast? That's true. I see them occasionally. Every kid says Texas so kids do normal shit. But I remember there used to be a cast with a metal bar when I was in school. It was a metal bar. Remember kids? The people would have one. It went all the way. We spent the first 45 minutes of school signing casts. Like everyone was in a cast when we were kids. That's true. Remember the seesaws are gone. Kids used to be made of sheet metal. They're like plastic. Do you remember there was like a chain like a pirate ship chain we would climb up. Oh yeah. We'd get tetanus getting pinched. Seesaws. Dude, what was more dangerous than a seesaw? You flick it up in the air and your fat friend jumps on the top of it. You go flying. You're always the asshole. You'd just be on the bottom and wait and then step off it and just watch them careen to the graphics. Dude, we used to play bloody knuckles all day. We would just punch each other in the knuckle. We would just be bleeding at all times. How about those things that spin around? Would you spin your friends around as fast as possible? You know the ones where you're like hanging on. It's just a wheel. It's not really a merry-go-round. It's much smaller. But you'd be spinning that motherfucker and you'd grab your friends. You'd try to like literally make them fly off of it. It's just a lazy susan for pedophiles. Kids in the park. Yeah, I would get stuck under. You'd get under the merry-go-round. You'd get under the jungle gym where you would just, it was like scaffolding basically. Yeah. Hang upside down with no ability to. On the concrete. We used to play in tires. We would just get in a tire and roll down a hill. That was just a game. Normal shit. We did play on concrete. Yeah. And there was like little, it was just like a construction site is basically what we used to play on. Yeah, kids today, unless you live in a terrible neighborhood, that's not generally the case. It's like a mushy now, although I was, um, it's not smart. What? I know. We're like, let's go back to how it was. I don't want these kids to get hurt. Did you see this video a couple months ago where this cop goes down the slide at an enormously fast speed? Oh, I think I did. No. It doesn't make sense at how he gets to speed. So you see the slide right here. I'll play it real fast, but it doesn't make sense how he gets going this fast. Let's see. Is he going to get hurt? I mean, he probably did. Oh, Jesus. He's flying down the slide backwards. Yeah. He's flying backwards first or face. Well, that's a really dumb way to do it. First of all, it's crazy. I don't know, dude. Why did he do it belly down? That just seems like a whole thing. Does it make sense? That's like an ad for Kraton. I don't know. He seemed like he wasn't totally conscious when he came out. Not a lot of people want to be cops these days. Tough job. Sometimes you don't get the best of the brightest. It's kind of true. Why is he fucking on duty? What if he breaks a leg? What if he broke his ankle flying out of that fucking thing? Workers comps. Does he even get workers comp for that? No, no, no. Sorry, dude. But it is wild, I think, how much more physically we used to have to contend with. Yeah, but you could get your kid into jiu-jitsu. Yeah, for sure. They'll do something. Your kid can 100% experience adversity under controlled circumstances, which is probably way better anyway. And even tolerate boredom. My mom used to say, go out and entertain yourself. You know what I mean? I mean, go out and play. Come back before dark. Is that illegal now? You could do it in certain neighborhoods. You could do it more here than you can in other places. But yeah, it's not like people don't do that anymore. You would just fuck around and find out. You would just put your finger in a light socket all day. I don't think parents knew as much, and I don't think there was as much of a fear of predators. You know, I have a friend who almost got kidnapped. He was at a park, and he had looked down or wasn't paying attention for, I don't know how long, looking at his phone. And then he looks up, and there's a guy who's reaching for his son's hand and taking him towards a van. Why is there always a van? Because that's the best way to carry someone around. You open the door real quick, throw him in, shut the door. So also there's no windows. Any fucking guy runs over and stops it before it happens. But he was so freaked out. What if he didn't look up from his phone? The kids are playing around with other kids, and you get bored, and you just start looking at your phone. What if he didn't? I had that stupid nude leak thing happen. I have this IT guy who was explaining to me, what's the hygiene for kids on Instagram? I probably just won't put them on Instagram. The way that predators pick up kids now is they basically just collect information from the parents' Instagram. Like, you're at Disneyland with your kid, and then you got strawberry ice cream with your kid. And then you went to Universal Studios with your kid. Some creep pedophile goes up to the kid and goes, oh, hey, Johnny, right? I'm Mark. I met you at Disneyland. Remember? We got the strawberry ice cream. And then we went to Universal Studios. I was with your dad. Told me to come pick you up. Oh, my God. So that's how they just collect information. And then it's probably easy to talk a kid with all those details into getting to a car. I know. I saw a hit and run last night. Did I tell you about this? Yeah, last night. At the club? Yeah, yeah. The guy was running from the cops. The guy was a high speed pursuit from the cops. Two cars in front of us. So I didn't realize you saw it in person. I thought you saw it online. Oh, no, no, no. Holy shit. Oh, no, no, no. I saw the whole thing. So I didn't know that he was running from the cops. I just see this car flying at the intersection and T-bone this other car. Just he's trying to make it. He tries to hit the turn. Boom. I mean, fast. And then opens the door and runs. So the dude who T-boned the guy jumps out of his car at a full sprint, full sprint across the street. And me and the guy I was with were like, he's probably drunk. Like he's probably realized he fucked up and he's drunk and he's trying to run away from the scene of the crime. And then they tackle him. Some citizens got him. And so we hear, they got him, we got him, we got him. I wouldn't want Texas citizens getting me. They're more armed than most police officers here, dude. Well, not only that, it's the lakes. Everybody's running around out there. It's like it's fit because it's right over by Lady Bird Lake. So this guy apparently was in a high speed chase from the police and just slammed right in the car. I mean, easily could have been us. It was two cars in front of us. That's fucking wild. But it was boom. Like to what I don't think I've ever seen in person. Someone hit a guy with a car that hard, like up close. And it went into the passenger side. Oh, just smushed the side of this car. Its car went flying. The one car, it goes flying up in the air and the other car goes flying to the side and then boom, the car falls down. The moment it falls down, the dude opens the door. He's out. He starts running. And he was dressed like he just got done playing golf. It was so weird to see. He's like wearing like a golf shirt. I love that his first instinct was, I'm just fucking, what did he do wrong? He probably had a warrant out for his arrest or something. It was probably something because if he's run from the cops, something was going on. When you see that shit real up close, it always blows my mind. When I first moved to LA, I lived right above RE on Miller Drive above Pink Dot so that I can be close to the Comedy Store. And there's that intersection there, Sunset and La Cienega. And there's all these, you know, and both people trying to take lefts are always trying to, you know, cheat the yellow light. When I'm at the northern part of the intersection and a motorcycle is coming down Sunset fast as shit and then someone's trying to take the left. When I tell you, I've been in LA five days. I'm like, I'm a big comedian. I'm in front of Pink Dot. I'm like, I see this car hit the motorcycle. The guy goes up into the air. I mean, it must have been 50 feet in the air. His shoes come off. I guess that's the thing. When you get hit by a car, your shoes come off, which is wild, and then comes down head first because your head is the heaviest. And I mean, it was so disturbing. Head broke off his body. I mean, just head off body and then shoes were like 50 feet away from him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very dead. The deadest. Like, when you see that, you're like, I feel like that's how it would have gone to Michael Bay movie or I don't know. That just feels a little wild when you actually see it up close. Yeah. You know, like the sounds, the crunching, the thuds. You're like, oh, that's just a body. The thing is, it's kind of extraordinary how little car accidents we have. When you think about how many people are just so distracted and how crazy the act of getting onto this concrete surface with this thing that's rolling around with a combustion engine and you're just letting normal people drive them around. It's kind of a miracle how cooperative we all are. It is kind of weird. It's kind of weird. But the stakes are so high. I mean, in terms of like having to pay for it. I got enough car accidents in my 20s that I was like, I don't have that kind of money. It's like, it's too much of a hassle. Well, it's just sketchy. You're relying on other people. And every now and then there's one guy that's got to get there on time. He's fucking cut in front of everybody. You watch him. You're like, oh, look at this guy in the pickup truck. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I was thinking because you can see so much carnage online now. In my algorithm, I guess, I don't know, enough comedians sent me videos of people getting murdered and shit. My algorithm is terrible. It's just like butts and like car accidents and how the Disney castles are made of dicks. Like that. Is that from Tripoli? Did you know that Tripoli has 12 podcasts? Yeah, at least. I'm going to confirm though, no. And so, yes, so Tripoli sends me all this stuff. But yeah, I mean, the Disney castles being made of dicks, it is a compelling case, but I think it was probably more that they didn't pay their animators and the animators were like, fuck you guys. We're just going to make the, you know, I'm not totally aware of that one. I think I don't remember it. Let's pull that one up. Disney castles made of dicks. Let's go. Well, there's a lot of wild stuff from the old Disney stuff. You go back in the old, old Disney. You guys should probably bury this. Brutal. Brutal. I know. You might want to take the obviously Jewish person's nose down a little bit. There was one where there was a, it was like a big bad wolf one and it used to be a Jewish person and then they switched it to a wolf later. Like yeah, and it's like cheap, but like won't pay the price for the baguette for the little red riding hood. You're like, what? Yeah, but like there's, there's the, I think it's the little mermaid, the Spears looking like dicks, the, I think they probably just didn't pay their animators and the animators were like, all right, we're just going to make everything look like a dick. Some people do see dicks in everything though. There's that. It is kind of a R-Shock test. That's a thing. Yeah. Maybe I'm one of those people. Then there's also many at Mickey and Minnie, like one of her bows. It does kind of look like a dick going right for her mouth. It feels like a disgruntled employee. Hmm. What? The video you posted got taken down. I was just going to play that one. Oh, I posted, oh yeah. Removed. Uh oh. Which one was that one? About this on this topic. On the dicks? I'm just going to like use that as the example, but it's been taken down. They take all my stuff down now. I hear some interesting stuff I just found though. Marshmallow cannon? What? Well, but. Hold on. I mean it'll play. It should show like. No. Well. Oh, what? Okay. That's 100% a dick squirting marshmallows. On a little mouse. It just shoots all over this mouse. It's that. It's like. Okay. That's a dick. That's 100% a dick. It's like. Look at the balls at the bottom of it. Oh my god. I didn't even notice the balls. That is not a coincidence. That's 100% a dick. Look up the minion Mickey Mouse. That one is the one that really kind of put me over the edge. Yeah that's someone being sneaky and putting in like a little Easter egg. Yeah. They didn't get paid overtime. That's a dick. Yeah. And now the Disney employees are trying, the animators are trying to unionize. I'd be shocked if they succeed. They're probably just going to have AI do it. We could also just go to images. The thing is AI is so good now. Like these animators are on shaky ground. Yes. Correct. What happened with the actor strike? Did they settle that? Is that over? Yeah they settled it. Oh do mini and Mickey dicks. Mini and Mickey dicks. Oh it's right there. Go to the one two three four. Like six over on the top. Yeah. One more over. Sorry. That one. Yeah. Oh Jesus Christ. That's her dress. What the fuck? I don't know. Okay. It's a little wild. Come on. I mean maybe. That's insane. And he's got his hand on her dick. She's got a giant heart on. That is 100% a heart on. That doesn't even make sense as a dress. Just going straight into his mouth. Just try to imagine that as a dress. It doesn't even make sense. Yeah like where's her arm? Oh it's around his neck. Who cares where her. It doesn't make sense. I know. It's a hard one. Where's her right arm? It's a hard one to defend. Oh they're both around there. Yeah. She's hugging him. Yeah. Okay. Kind of. Kind of. That's a tough one. That's a dick. It's way more of a dick than it is her arm around his shoulder. You know if it's one of two things that looks so much like it. And his hands on it. I know. Stroking it. And also the little lines. I don't know. Does she always have a puffy shoulder shirt on like that? Is that consistent? Not like that. And then it's also like the little ridge on the top. Yeah. Doesn't feel necessary. It's a dick. That's definitely a dick. It's a shadow. Oh no. That's a hundred percent a dick. Oh no. Yeah. I'm gonna get a dart in my neck any minute Disney's gonna get us. They're already in trouble. They fucked up. They went too far. You were telling us about the South Park thing. Oh my god dude. Jamie have you seen the new South Park? I definitely saw clips of it. It is so funny. First of all Cartman has been replaced by a black trans woman. In like the ulterior universe or whatever. And the whole thing, well really incisive commentary. Obviously they always do such a good job with this. It's the panderverse which is hilarious. It's such a great name. All the handyman, the handyman are the richest people because no men know how to do anything anymore because they went to college. So it's all about how college has made us stupid and we need handymen to do everything now because we were using Siri and whatever. So there's the handyman bought Instagram and now is like going to space because he's just a billionaire. And then Cartman is, is it Catherine Kennedy who runs Disney? But ran Lucasfilm and whatever and her whole thing is just make it a girl and make her gay. Make it a girl and make her gay. For every movie they're bitching. She gets like served food at a restaurant and she's like I told you to make it a girl and make it gay. It's hilarious. It's so well done. It's so well done. Yeah. How did that, how did the people that are that goofy get in control of media like that? I think that like there's a really, I think we're going to look back at this time ago. Like remember when we thought 300 comments on Twitter represented everyone? Right. Remember when we had that confirmation but we got scared of a bunch of tweets, half of which might just be bots or truly crazy people. Yeah. I don't know what the statistic is now. Also people crazy enough to be commenting on things all day. Yeah. The most, the people that I know that are on Twitter all day commenting on stuff, they're mentally ill. That's right. Like I, the ones I know are mentally ill. I know they're all fucked up. I know they're medicated to shit and then they're on there freaking themselves out, arguing with people all day. I think not only are they medicated on whatever they're on, but also I think Twitter is a drug. I mean you get that hit of self righteous indignation. It's like the people who write in to complain about their Mr. Goodbar being wrapped weird. You know what I mean? And for actors and people in show business, it's almost like you're testing yourself out, like writing, writing scripts for yourself to be like a hero in this scene. And like I think a lot of people need to be heard. Totally get that. Oh yeah, that's real too. That's real too. I mean there's a real application for it in terms of your ability to communicate about things and learn more about other people's perspectives. If you can cultivate a good group of humans, but if you're famous, that's not tenable. There's too many people. If you're dealing with a product like a Disney film, there's just too many people. There's too many people. You're never going to be. And you're just going to encounter what you encounter. It's random. It's not like you're getting the ones from like I went to Stanford and asked the psychologist what their opinion is. No, no, no. You're just getting fucking. You're getting the wildest of wild opinions from who knows how many different groups of people and you just whatever you scroll into, that's what you read. Do you think there'll be a day where we look back and we go like, remember when you could just like be on Twitter all day? Like is it going to be the way we are with cigarettes now? Remember you used to be able to smoke inside. No because people are just going to keep doing it because it doesn't physically feel bad even though it is bad. We're really bad at things that don't like burn our fingers. Ouch. We're really bad at just continuing to do certain things like a Twitter type deal or just any kind of online social interaction is so different than regular human interaction that if you get used to doing it all the time, it kind of like reprograms the way you communicate with people, period. It's just like the new normal. You see people like spill over like Twitter talk spill over in real life with horrible consequences. It's like my favorite Mike Tyson quote is the problem with people today is you can talk shit and not get punched in the face and then you see him talk shit in person. It doesn't go so well. Yeah, that's real. I mean you're supposed to have consequences for your behavior. Like a bunch of my friends that are parents say that like bullies will come in and they'll say the craziest shit just because they've been on Twitter online or on those video games where you're allowed to like talk shit and then you go into the real world and it's a little different. Yeah. There's plenty of those videos on my Instagram too. People getting fucked up. I was thinking about this because I was like, is it new that we are able to see horrific shit just like constantly, constantly. I was thinking like what are the other like collective visual like traumas we've had that we've seen and I was, I'm a little, I kind of missed this a little bit, but I remember hearing about it cause I had an older brother. Remember the challenger explosion? Oh yeah. It makes me, I've been trying to write a joke about it that they rolled in TVs into classrooms to watch this with the teacher. Remember there was like a teacher on it and they showed it and everybody just watched this teacher explode in the sky. I remember not knowing exactly what was going on at first going, what's, what's happening? Like why is there like so many different, like there was like one going this way and one going that way and then they started talking about it. Oh no. Oh no. And then you realize like, oh shit, did that thing blow up? Cause do you remember watching it at first? Like it didn't, I didn't know exactly what was happening. I watched it recently and kind of was like, oh, I remember watching it like on the news when I was really young and not understanding what was going on. Can you pull up the challenger explosion? By the way, that all could apparently could have been mitigated. People knew that there was problems with the O rings and really you got to think how many fucking people are involved in those things and how bad the government is at almost everything. They looked for the teacher. It was like this whole thing. Look at this. Okay. Oh, people gathered in theaters. Yeah. Full throttle and highest stress. A massive explosion. The cheering stops. The horror sinks in seven Americans with the highest hopes, a billion dollars worth of the highest technology. Oh, the worst disaster in the U S space program ever. Good evening. This is the CBS evening news. To watch that live before in 25 years. He's a stud. What a weird thing we try to do. Phil giant tubes up with combustible liquid and then light an explosion and shoot them up into the fucking sky. What are the chances? Well, it's definitely, it definitely has worked a gang of times, but it's just like, look at the amount of power you're dealing with. That's what's so bonkers. The amount of thrust that you need to escape our atmosphere and escape our gravity. It's just so nuts. How quick was that? Did they feel it? Nah, they might've. That was my obsession. I watched a video on the implosion of the submarine the other day. Like wait, get enough. Can't get enough. I can't get enough of this. I love the billionaires now have to do broke shit. It's like, it makes me all it makes me think about as gold diggers. Cause like gold diggers now don't even get to do cool stuff anymore. It's like, you used to be like, you go to Monaco, you'd go to like, you know, we're going to go to St. Bart's. Now you got to get a summary. You got to go look at a bunch of trash at the bottom of the ocean. Who was telling us about people that are paying to go over to Russia? They're paying to go over to Ukraine and fight on the frontline. They'll let them shoot guns. You don't remember someone telling them, telling us, maybe someone told me off air. Maybe it was a different thing, but they were saying that they know someone who literally paid to go and fight for Ukraine against Russia. They went and they allowed them to operate guns and shit. I was like, what is it? I said, this is why I wanted to bring it up. Cause I'm like, is that a bullshit story? But if I, if you would let you do it for free, but everything, even back then, they're so corrupt. That is a such a corrupt country. And there's so much shady, my friends, what do you want to do? You have money. We give you gun to shoot at them. And then next thing you know, some frack kid whose dad's got an oil baron. Yeah, some rich kid who's over there. Fuck it. Okay, get me out of here. And then get him a truck and take him home. Trying to get content for his TikTok. That's just what we need. I think people have done something like that. Didn't by the way, I think RFK's son went over to fight. RFK's son did go over to fight. I feel like there had to be like a... He didn't tell anyone. He just went over and did it and then came back. Like he didn't even tell us, his dad. His dad didn't... RFK Jr. did not know his son was over. You just show up and you're like, hey, I'm on your side? I don't know. I don't know how he applied, but I think he was in some sort of special forces group. There are very rich Ukrainians doing this. I don't know if it's like an American. Okay, maybe that's what it is. This article on NPR says it's like billionaires that are leading battalions, but they might also have some sort of training or something like that. But isn't that just like the guy that they blew up? The guy who was... On the other side. Right, but he was a billionaire that ran his own army, the Wagner Group. Yes, I'm a businessman and now I'm a commander of a military unit in Ukraine. Are you having that much trouble getting chicks as a billionaire? Yeah, but that might be a different thing. That might be a thing where he just felt like he has to take up arms because Russia's invading. I get that by the way. I do feel like, isn't it... I texted a lot of my friends about this. I'm like, is today the day? Is today the day we're all going to war? There is a little bit of a... Way more than ever before. Way more than ever. I'm looking at bunkers at 2 a.m. I'm kind of... I mean, what if draft happens? Can you imagine our 18 year olds going... Tick tock kids getting drafted. Eating Tide Pods going over there. Yeah, draft is a real... It would be a real issue with the morale of this country and the suspicion of the government doing unethical things and the trust and whether or not these kids could even survive. Like, just survive boot camp. Yeah. Survive filling out the forms saying their gender. This is the softest. The softest generation that's ever existed. It's scary. It's wild how quickly it happened. It really is wild. I mean, if this was engineered by Russia, good job. They nailed it. You fucking nailed it. They nailed it. Everything that everybody wanted. A complete lack of faith in the government. Whoever put Roundup in the water so that everybody went soft? Yeah, fluoride. Yeah, yeah. Between the fluoride and the Roundup and all the endocrine disruptors. They did a great job. They turned us into such pussies. There's a few people that are out there fighting the good fight and trying to resist, but ultimately they're outnumbered. I feel like there's a backlash happening. I feel like it's interesting being pregnant. I've started getting obsessed with everything you put in your body. And just the idea of drinking water is like a full time job. Like, where am I getting my water? I got it because it's either my choices are fluoride or microplastics. I'm not having a baby with a small taint. I'm telling you that right now. Yeah. Did you ever check yourself for phthalates while you were... Shit. No? Yeah. Where do I do that? Too late. I did the Tally age test. The biological age. It's different. Oh. Phthalates are microplastic. It's like chemicals that leach out of plastics. I mean, I for sure got them. Well, everybody has them. No way I don't. Yeah. There was a study that they did recently that was like, what is it? What was the number? Like 90 something percent of people had phthalates in their body. Something nuts. Also, there's this guy, I don't want to plagiarize his work, Kashif Khan. He wrote that DNA Way book about how their forever chemicals in women's yoga pants. In the crotch. It's in AstroTurf. Well, how about fucking Baby Balder? We used to put it in our underwear before basketball games. There's been 50,000 lawsuits. They've paid, I think, over eight or nine billion, which is probably nothing to them, but women getting ovarian cancer from the asbestos in it. And then also the minors of the talc. Yes. Yeah. That's what I was reading that talc and asbestos are often in the same spot and they don't filter it out well. To what? They don't even test to see if the talc has asbestos in it sometimes. Johnson & Johnson has gotten away with some wild shit. Well, that's a wild one. I just, did they know? We were putting it on babies. What I want to know is did they know? Did they know that sometimes their talc has asbestos in it? It was just too problematic to sift it out and figure out what's what? What is the deal with that? Find out what's the deal with talc and asbestos. I think the minors definitely complain. My guess is it is a similar trajectory to the... Oh, here it is. Because talc and asbestos are minerals found close together. When talc is mined, it may contain traces of asbestos. Talcum powder is still an ingredient in a number of cosmetic brands. As recently as November of 2020, a study found that 14 percent of the talc containing makeup tested contained asbestos. That's wild. Can I tell you, a lot of my girlfriends when they act insane, I ask a couple questions. I'm like, what birth control are you on? And what hair products and makeup are you using? Because you're just putting chemicals in. I mean, your skin's your biggest organ, right? Right. The amount of chemicals women just put on their bodies, in their bodies. They knew for decades that asbestos lurked in its baby powder. Oh my God. Unreal. That's crazy. Unreal. This is Reuters. I want to say it was in St. Louis, but it was over 50,000 lawsuits. Oh my God, that's so crazy. Johnson & Johnson didn't tell the FDA that at least three tests by three different labs. From 72 to 75, it found asbestos in its talc. In one case, that level's reported as rather high. Who says rather? This is rather in that context. What kind of numbers are we talking about? They were rather high. They were high. Also, and then as soon as the Johnson & Johnson vaccine came out, we just flocked. It's like, that's a trusted name. Well, that was the first one they pulled. I did it. Did you do that one? Yeah, who knows what's even in my belly? I'm kind of worried. Let's think on the positive side. How come in comic books, whenever someone gets like exposure to radiation or some kind, they get superpowers? That's true. I got pregnant at 40. This is a vaccine injury, 100%. Isn't it supposed to be the opposite, though? Is it supposed to stop women? Yeah, I guess women were having a lot of fertility problems. And pregnant women that took it, their placentas were hardening. There was a lot of sketchy stuff happening. Yo. Fertility is going down in a way that's super alarming. Do you think people will be more skeptical of novel medical interventions in the future? If something like this comes up in the future, I don't think people will be as quick to line up. I think fear does wild stuff to people. Yeah, but we've never had that much of a reason to distrust the medical establishment as we do now. Yeah. Just like the videos that you could watch of them saying it's 100% effective, it's 80% effective, it's effective against preventing severe hospitalization or death. Yeah. I think that, at least the people that I know are very suspicious of stuff like that, but the thing that really freaks me out is even natural remedies are starting to be bought up by these corporations. Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar, Bill Gates bought it. Bill Gates now owns one of the few natural healthy tonics we had and he's putting the apples in it. Oh, the appeal? The appeal, the creepy ass. Oh, what is that? That's like a coating that they spray on the outside of vegetables? Some shmegma to keep the apples preserved longer. Is it just apples? Is he just so obsessed that he didn't invent Apple computers that he just cuts the thing? Poisoning everything apples? I know, he just has to. But yeah, it's like for Costco apples to stay fresher longer. But what is in it? I would love to know. Oh. I would love to know. These motherfuckers, they get stuff out there before anybody's aware that these things are a problem and then like years later, like what's in it? Talk asbestos. Yeah. And then you don't find out until later. So it's like talking about this and just being suspicious about like, should apples last for four weeks? I feel like Bill needs a hug. Like, why are you working so hard? Did you see the video of him against trees? What? Bill Gates, look at Bill Gates against trees. Oh, he thinks you should bury all the trees? He's like, I don't plant trees. Like he doesn't believe in trees. What? Someone needs to blow this guy. I volunteer as tribute. I'll jump on this grenade. I don't know what. I mean, between, and then I guess he owns half of the McDonald's potatoes for the french fries. Bill Gates gets real about climate change. Planting trees is complete nonsense, but the end of the oil and gas era is finally in sight. Planting trees is complete nonsense. We don't think planting trees is good. I'm planting trees. Don't they make oxygen? How would it be nonsense to have something that filters carbon dioxide and makes oxygen? I think he's done too much of that appeal. They are circling the Microsoft founder, Bill Gates supports chopping down 70 million acres of trees, but the truth is more complicated. Oh. Oh, is it? What's complicated? Shock. There's a video of him being very glib about it. Promoting deforestation. Okay. What? Cool cause. Well, I think he kind of wants to regulate the weather, right? The startup company has a unique concept for the removal of trees to protect California forests. Well, there's something to the removal of dead trees, and that's something that actually Trump talked about when the wildfires were hitting California. He said he was going to cut off their funding if they didn't take care of their forests. But I don't think that's what he's saying. No, I don't think that's what he's saying. I don't think he's saying like, what you're supposed to do is trees die, right? And they die and then they fall and you get dead fall and that stuff dries out and that stuff becomes highly flammable. So if you got a gang, like there was an issue back a few years ago, there was a thing called the bark beetle. Do you remember that? It was up in like, what's that lake? Big Bear. It's like up in that area. That's where all my friends go to relapse. No one goes to Big Bear and comes back so far. Big Bear is a crazy place. So this beetle was consuming the bark of these trees and killing these trees. So you had like, you know, who knows how many thousands and thousands of dead trees that were essentially kindling. And so when a wildfire happened, it just burned right through everything because then nobody had ever removed the dead trees. Yeah, you got to do that. And that's the thing about a lot of these forests is that if you got a lot of it, but it's also like the amount of resources involved removing all those dead trees. Who knows how many acres like, yeah, I mean, I live in wildfire land, as you know, to Pangong, California. And I do like voluntary equine evacuation with LAFD and they would fight for my house because I'm kind of right at sort of the end of like 170 acres, like in a hollow kind of thing. So they would just come in and fight. So they, you know, come over sometimes. And I was talking to one of these firefighters about like, you know, like, oh, the forest fires. And he was like, look, I was gonna get me in some trouble maybe. But he's like, look, most of the fires in California are homeless people. But we can't tell people that or else people would just start taking baseball bats to homeless people constantly, you know. So it's like a lot of it is like fires or smoking or little campfires. Yeah. Campfires. Yeah. Well, if your life is so fucked up that you're, you know, in a fucking tent on the middle of a grassy hillside and you're doing fentanyl, you're probably not so responsible with fire. The homeless camp wars in Venice where they were just throwing like Molotov cocktails at each other to set each other on fire. I mean, it was the Gaza Strip there for a minute. It's just so nuts that it happened so quick. So again, Russia, good job. You guys nailed it. Yeah. Like whatever you did to our education system, whatever you did to crush our faith in democracy. Amazing work. Yeah. And just a testament to how like one sick bill will put you out. Like what? And people can't afford housing. There's that. But it's mostly mental illness and drug addiction. It's mostly that. There's there's people that are down on their luck, but those people usually find a way back. It's mental illness for the most part and drug addiction. And also the community that comes from a bunch of people that are also just as fucked up as you. People like to be around. If you're a fucking mess, you like to be around other messes. You don't want to be a mess and be around Jocko. He's up there getting up at four thirty in the morning and working out. You want to be a mess around other non-ambitious people that are just laying around. That's their community. It's pretty wild. In California, you can be homeless. I mean, the homeless people in California, they're not trying. They've got ring lights. They've got cell phones. They're getting their morning sunlight. It's not that cold out there. It's not that big a deal. They get a 24 hour gym membership. They're in shape, too. I had I had my do they look great. Gym membership barefoot. They're grounding in the grass. I mean, probably healthier than most. They're probably living the lives that we're all trying to learn to live from these high performers. But I got my laptop stolen out of my car outside the improv on Melrose. And this guy, I wasn't going to fight with him about it, but he was like he was ripped. He looked great. He looked like Goggins. He looked great, you know, and it's just kind of a lifestyle at this point. I don't think they're trying to change it. Well, also, if you steal anything that's less than nine hundred dollars, they don't even arrest you. That's right. With the stores and stuff. This is fucking dumbest shit ever. And then these mass lootings where these kids organize. Oh, yeah. That's crazy, too. Yeah. Yeah. It's a complete collapse of society that's happening while we're here. So it's hard to really understand the scope of it unless you could have like a go back in time machine and like see what those same streets looks like 20 years ago. See what these same stores were like 20 years ago and then see what's going on now. It's like, whoa, yeah, this is this is like a fucking Robocop movie. This is something's wrong here. Yeah. Real wrong. Just gangs of people. Yeah. And then what do they do? They put on eBay. They just or whatever you've got to do, man. I mean, it's like with what's going on in this country, I'm always like, I'm almost like good for you guys. Good for you to steal my laptop. I don't mind that. I didn't mind. What do you say? Good jokes. Good for you. One time, Janine Garofalo was on stage and she goes, yeah, I lost my my joke notebook in St. Louis. So if you see anyone bombing around town, let me know. There is something when you lose something that has jokes in it where you're like, I just want that back because I don't want people to see my jokes in progress. How embarrassing. Oh, yeah, that's true, too. Or they're just the notes. Yeah. You know, it would it would be as is in capital evidence in a crime. I'm like, I'm definitely going to jail if anybody sees my joke notebook. It would be like one of them physics papers, though, like where you're like, I don't know what they're writing. Exactly. What is this? It's a friend of ours pointing to dicks and that's our pointing to clouds. I have been kind of writing in a notebook recently jokes because, like, you know, you get on your computer and then you get a pop about you get a like, you're looking all just research this and then you're in like a wormhole of Disney dicks for two hours, you know. So I've started writing more and I've got this joke notebook and I'm like, but I don't have my name on it or anything. And you don't want to lose it. Well, yeah, I mean, it's a portrait of insanity. Do you take photos of each page? I should do that. Yeah, that's really smart. Then you could just open them up, spread them. You can read it. Sometimes I'll do it like in my notes app, like write jokes out and stuff. Yeah. There's some applications that will take written handwriting and convert it into text. That's really smart. I know that remarkable that tablet thing does that. It'll do that for you. You ever seen that tablet? No. It's pretty cool. It's a tablet that it looks like a Kindle. So it looks like white paper and you write on it with like a pen stylus. And then you get a with a stylus. But you have multiple pages. So you write like that and it looks like paper, but then it'll convert it to text for you. Convert it to a type font. That's crazy. But the thing is, it's like you could have a thousand pages in that easy. You know, you have a little easy with that. Yeah, that's cool. You could have little folders and all sorts of different things with it. I'm kind of like, I don't know, I'm a little old school. Like I like having a piece of paper and tearing it out before I go on stage and put it in my pocket. And I don't know, there's just still a little attachment. Well, they do say that there's something and I wonder if it would be the same on a tablet, but they do say there's something when you physically write something down, it's better for your memory. Yep. Yeah. Part of writing it out is just remembering it. Yeah, I think for me, you know, and then I'll say it like I saw Jay-Z somewhere say if you say something 18 times in a row, you'll remember it, whether that's true or not. Like, that's his process. And then I kind of started doing that. He famously doesn't write his raps down. That's wild. Yeah, he keeps it all in his head. That's insane. It's pretty wild, pretty genius. But I know a lot of comics who do that. Really? Yeah, there's a lot of comics who don't write at all. That's crazy. They could go on stage, do an hour and a half and it's all in their head. Yeah. I'm trying to get better at that. I'm trying to get better at that. I think there's two, both things are good. I think a lot of those comics probably would benefit from writing too. Yeah. Get some extra bits. Yeah. Like I'll sometimes like, it drives me nuts when I'll come, I'll try to come up with stuff on stage or allow myself, but if I don't record it, I'm like, ah shit. Like I was so in the moment, like I worked so hard to be present and then I'm like, I don't remember any of it. Did you do bottom of the barrel Tuesday night? Dude, I had the best time. I had never done it before. And it was like, I kind of feel like you'll have a better metaphor for this, but it's almost like, you know, doing fat man is like, you know, doing your cardio, writing jokes is like, you know, you're, you know, lifting and then bottom of the barrel is like stretching or something. It should be a part of what you do as a comic. It's good to just be on a tight rope and not having any idea where you're going with things and then totally going the wrong way and trying to bail yourself out. I got like three things out of it. Yeah. You're just like jumping off a cliff and flying and sort of, cause I think that I get a little bit after I have a special come out, I start going, okay, my next special is going to be about this. And then I kind of like have the tunnel vision about what the theme is going to be. And someone just Hamas Christmas was literally one of them. It was like to just rip on that. I never would have thought to write about that cause I'm like, Oh, too touchy to this. It makes you braver. And and it was like a muscle I hadn't flexed in a really long time. It's also a unique situation because the audience knows that you're doing it and you are clearly reaching and you're not preparing at all. You're reaching into this thing, you're pulling out this piece of paper and there's this moment where you might have something on that. Yeah. And you're like, Oh yeah. You know, yeah. Christmas with the relatives or Oh, whatever it is. Yeah, totally. You're like, Oh, okay. And then they get to see this process of you fucking around. Yeah. It just was it. Also, I think sometimes you get into this, whether it's feedback from the internet or from other people, when people kind of tell you what kind of comic you are, you're kind of like, Oh, that's not a topic I would do. That's a topic Tim would, Dylan would do. That's right. And then I'm probably, no, I could totally weigh in on that. Right. But like, I don't only have to talk about relationships or being a woman. Like, Oh, that worked. And it'll also get you out of whatever might be rigid in like, this is the worst when you see a comic, they have a theme and they're kind of rigid with it and you feel like, Oh man, you'd be, you should be a little more loose. Yeah. Be more fun to watch. Yeah. You know, like you're a little too buttoned down with this thing. Yeah. And it also was like, you know, the topics were so incendiary and wild, you know, to just the permission from the audience, like go there. Yeah. Like, don't hold back. Don't censor yourself. It was just like, Oh, okay. You guys want me to go here? Right. Like, it's just this like really cool, like jump kind of. It's also, there's 110 people there, you know, it's small. Is my favorite. It's a great little room. The fact that you made, I mean, I was thinking about this last night when I was like, how does a club that's only what, two years old? Not even, it's not even a year old. Feel like it has so much history and like soul. Well, I think it's cause the building, I think. I think there's a reality about buildings and that's a 1927 theater. And I think there's something about old buildings. I think memories are like legitimately burned into objects. That's fascinating. I think. I'm not, I'm 90% sure. I think this idea that things don't have something that's akin to consciousness, I think it's arrogant. That building, I know it's like wishful thinking cause it's my place and all that jazz, but when we opened it, I felt like it was happy we were there. I felt like even when I looked at it, even when I looked at it, I felt like it was talking to me. Like when I was going through it and like trying to figure out how I could do this and do that. I'm looking around at it. It was like, come on, let's do it. What was that documentary ages ago called What the Bleep Do We Know? Yeah. And remember the particles were in the water and when they were nice to it, the particles changed and when they were mean to it, I think the particles change. You know, there is. Yeah. I don't know if that's real. That guy also ended up in the NXIVM cult. So yeah, there was also another person that was talking during that, I think she calls herself Ramtha and she's channeling like a thousand year old alien or something. So like her real name was different, but when she talks, she talks in this wonderful way and it's, she's channeling. Yeah. So there's a lot of wacky shit in that film. Okay. So they were doing the secret. Got it. Um, but there's just this feeling and it's either way you've decorated the place, the people you've chosen to be there. It just, it feels like it's, it feels like, this is how corny it feels like home. Yeah. Well that's what we wanted. We tried to, we did everything we could to make it as comfortable for comedians as possible and as much fun and to help promote the art form and help promote up and coming artists. That's the big one. It's like everyone who works there as a door person, they all audition with their acts. The people that are going up on open mic nights, they have two nights of open mic nights to go up Monday and Tuesday. Dude, that guy, was it Miles? Miles? I've seen Miles destroying in the little boy. And then the next day I walked in and he was the door guy and I was like, you're the guy I could hardly follow last night. Yeah, that's nice. I think my biggest concern when you were building and I was like, what if Joe doesn't like running a business? It's just like a hassle. Like having, it's just like a hassle having employees and they want to do other things, you know what I mean? But like everyone is like part of this mission there. Everyone feels like a family. No one feels like they're just like there to get some cash. I think everybody realizes it's a very special thing that we've been able to put together. And the fact that the idea to put it together was really just to make, it wasn't like a business idea. Like this would be a great way to make money. It was the opposite. It was like, I just don't want to lose any money. But let's put together this business, let's put together this center, this one hub where the comedians can just be free, have fun, and feed off of each other. And bang joke ideas around with each other in the green room. And you know, watch each other do sets from the balcony. Watching you and I mean being in the green room and like, because I mean look, sometimes you're kind of in a lot of clubs, you're in a hallway and there's like people coming by and the way that you've like really incubated comedians so that they like feel safe and feel like, you know, they can be themselves, especially before they go on stage. Like, you know, Ron White came off stage and he had just done this bit and he was trying to explain why it didn't go how he wanted to go. Watching Ron White have a joke not go well for the first time in 30 years was funny to watch. And he was like, I just bombed for the first time. And his fucking complete accepting of the bombing. Like the way he was saying that fucking joke didn't get a single laugh. They all agreed. And we were trying to tell him like, I don't understand why you thought that was funny. Well clearly you were right. He told the joke and Joe goes, yeah, I would have advised you against doing that. But then we came up with alternative ways to do that joke were ridiculous. And then you like went into this whole other thing and like basically I just watched you put a whole chunk together, you know, and like we were all just there like just supporting each other and kind of like writing and everything's like, you know, that's the best feeling in the world when you're sitting around a bunch of people, you know, you can't hurt their feelings. You're not walking on eggshells. Yeah, you can just and you know, you know, you're around a place of love. That's it. That's it. And just like, like, just go for it. Everybody. There's no tension in that room. Zero. Everybody's smiling. Zero. We're so lucky. The best. I feel so lucky sometimes. Like it's just I look forward to it so much. It's like medicine when I'm not there for a few weeks and then I come back to town and we're hanging out in the green room again. Everybody's like, hey, you built this thing though. And there's also it made me realize, like, you have to be around the absence of something to realize there was a presence of something else that became so normal is there's an absence of predatory energy. I don't that might sound weird, but like the comics, the for whatever reason, nobody's trying to get something from you trying to get you on their podcast. No one's kind of just trying to get near you. No one's trying to get a picture with you. There's agreement. We're just here to get better. And we're just we're a family in here and we're not like trying to do anything except get better at comedy. Right. There's always that weird moment where someone like weasels into your conversation at the store and you don't know who that person is. And then, hey, I'd love to talk to you about this project. And you're like, oh, or there's just a feeling of like this feels like work. Right. For some reason, we're just faking this. Also the Hollywood environment, too, because everybody kind of has that attitude all day long. How can you help me? Yeah, that's a it's a transactionary existence. And these people are always looking to make these transactions. That's right. Move up the social ladder. There was also a really cool thing the last couple of nights I went up in the little boy both nights and talk to a couple people in the audience. There were like four people each night that were in from Australia just to come to the mothership. Wow. They came just to come for the week to come to all the shows. There was another guy, one of the guys that came from Australia, he did a road trip in America and I was like, oh, what's your trip? And he was like, I went to Austin, Ohio and New York. That's America. That's pretty much America. There was no... Depends on what part of Ohio. There was no it was like a family family thing. But he no Disneyland in Florida, no Universal Studios in L.A. It was just Austin, Ohio, New York. I thought that was really cool. That it must be wild to go from one country if you've never been to America and you see that just a diff it's basically Europe. There's different countries here. Every state feels like a different country. It's a different country. New York is such a different country than Texas. L.A., California is so different than Texas. L.A. is also so different. Like L.A. is like feels like a weird simulation now. Like I don't... When's the last time you were on Sunset Boulevard? It's been a few months. But the last time I was there, I was like, Jesus, this is weird. It feels different. House of Blues is gone. Feels like it could fall apart at any minute. It feels like something could go sideways at any minute and no one's going to stop it. And it's just reliant upon the good nature of people. It just doesn't seem like people have as much restraint anymore. People are more desperate. There's more tension and anger. I mean so many people lost everything during those two years. So many people. So many people. And then the business that was somewhat functioning, you know, Hollywood didn't work for two... And then I mean because people think about Hollywood and they think about the annoying actors and the writers and the producers and the directors. But it's mostly crew guys. It's mostly the electric guys, the camera guys. They're making $100 a day max and they live out in Santa Clarita. Like those are the ones that just truly will never come back. Right. And then this last strike put another fucking nail in that. That's right. Because both strikes... Could not be in production for four years basically. I mean the city's been disemboweled. Yeah, they were talking about just how much the strike cost Los Angeles. Just the strike. It's billions. Yeah. And then in production actually, get ready, you left Hollywood and tried to escape and it's coming to Austin. Is it really? They're doing a lot of like the film tax credit thing. I think Bastrop, which by the way is awesome. Have you been out to Bastrop? Yeah, it's beautiful. Ryan Holiday has his podcast out there. He bought like a bookstore. It looks like Mayberry. It's like this strip of like a saloon and a bookstore. It's so cute. But Bastrop did... I don't remember what the TV show was called that shot that had Elizabeth Olsen in it. It's supposed to be really good. And there's a couple other towns that are building studios out here. Uh-uh. I know. Sorry. Coming to get you. They'll come. Yeah, they'll ruin it. But I don't think they'll ever turn it into Hollywood. No, no, no, no, no. What that thing was was a place that was created essentially when they realized that it never rains. They said, oh, we could film here all the time. And so they just started moving everything out there and Johnny Carson moved out there and all these different things happened and they're doing all these movies. And then the people that wanted to be famous moved out there too. And even if they didn't make it in show business, they became dentists, they became doctors, they became... Those people populated the area. So there's like an ethic, like a way of thinking in that area that would prioritize fame above everything. And everyone that has other jobs there, they're just trying to get a reality show about their job. That's true too. I had a shoulder injury and I got this massage person to come help stretch it out, whatever. And third or fourth session he comes, he's like, hey, I'm shooting a sizzle reel for what it's like to be a celebrity masseuse. Will you be on it? And I'm like, what? Can you just... I had a personal trainer who got a show at Netflix about being a trainer. I'm like, can anyone just do what they do without the end goal actually trying to be famous? Well, how about I'm a celebrity masseuse? Can I get a sizzle reel? Who the fuck are you talking about? I don't know how to break it to you. You get famous for giving back rubs? Like what are you talking about? Truly. A celebrity masseuse. I know. It's just everybody's trying to get famous and whatever vocation they're doing is just to try to get famous at that. I want to be a famous interior designer. I want to be a famous dentist. I want to be a Hollywood sound. But also if you want to be more successful and get more clients, that is the way to do it. I mean, if you're utilizing social media, like if you're a trainer and you look awesome, you're going to get a lot of clients on social media just from that. It's actually a good marketing move, but it also has that gravity of possible YouTube slash TikTok slash whatever fame. And then you say, okay, I can make a living off of this. Yeah. There's just a, you know, I don't know. I think for me it's like what we do is like, you know, I was talking to one of your guys up front and you know, being a comedian, it's weird because it's like there's a point where you go like now that I'm having a kid and I'm kind of like, oh, you can't undo fame. Like you can't undo that. And I remember you can fade away. You can fade away. You can become irrelevant for sure. Yeah. But especially at this day and age, you have to fight so hard to probably stay famous. But it's kind of like it's one of those things I remember Bill Murray said one time someone asked him like, do you hate being famous or something? And he goes, what I would say to people that want to be famous is try getting rich and see if you still need to get famous, which I kind of liked because sometimes you're like, no, I just want to be able to pay my bills. But as a comic, I remember thinking like, no, you have to get famous for people to buy tickets. There's no way otherwise. Like, I got to get a sitcom so people know me and then they're going to come see me do stand up. I was just talking to Bert and he was he ran into a group of comedians that aren't doing so well and aren't selling tickets on the road. They were asking to go with him and this and that. And you know, and he's like, oh, Jesus, like it's not easy for everybody. There's some people that for whatever reason, they never marketed themselves very well. They never got the attention they felt like they should have deserved. And now they're in their 50s and they can't sell out a club and they're fucked and they can't make a living. So they're not paying the rent. And it's like, it's not good. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's a tricky one. And like not to like plug, I have the special coming out and I'm, I know you and Matt Rife talked about OFTV. It's the OnlyFans, the TV section where I'm doing their first special, but they're doing remember like live at Gotham. Remember there was like evening at the improv. There used to be specials for comics that couldn't get the Netflix special, couldn't necessarily do the hour. If you were maybe like a quote middle-class comedian, you could at least get screen time or get a good tape. You could go on found or whatever, but like, you could headline it on a road club that like doesn't exist anymore. You know? So it's cool that they're actually doing that so that comics that can't necessarily get the hour special or sell out clubs can at least get some kind of TV exposure because Comedy Central is just like a, a, a Squarespace at this point. It's just like a plugin. I don't even know how to get it. Yeah. It isn't a quickly how that dropped off from relevancy. Wild. It used to be the most important thing to get on. And that was just 10 years ago. 2013. That was 10 years ago. It was very important to get on Comedy Central. Like, Oh my God, they had South Park. They had this, they had that. Chappelle show. Yep. I mean, fuck. And you could have a set from live at Gotham. You could have your half hour premium blend. They'd put it on the website and you would, you know, sell out a couple of nights and then you could do local radio, which doesn't really exist anymore either. Yeah. You remember you would go in early to Chicago to do man cow or whatever. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I used to enjoy those. And that's one of the reasons why I started doing a podcast. I used to think, boy, I would love to do a radio show, but who the fuck is going to pay me to do a radio show? I'm like, I'd ruin it. I'd say something stupid. I, you know, there's, it wouldn't work. You'd have to take notes. You'd have to show up. I couldn't swear. You know, there was, that's the weird thing. Like you think about the rulings that they had on radio and how there's none on the internet. That is crazy to think on the radio. Yeah. You're at five a.m. Yeah. If you said shit, you were in trouble. God, have you said fuck the radio station? We get fined like they could get fined hundreds of thousands of dollars. Like the stern things that happened during the Bush administration, like people forget, but there was no internet. There was just stern. And he was the only one like that. That was just this wild boy on the radio in the morning and everybody tuned in to see what the fuck is he going to say? And during the Bush administration, cause he was like pretty critical of the Bush administration. They went after him and they find his radio station. I think they found find the company somewhere in the millions. But don't you think that the more they find him, it's kind of like the more when they try to cancel comedians, the more successful they get. It's like the more he just got more and more. Well, he was already huge, but I think it was very touch and go for freedom of speech because they were just making these claims about certain things being obscene and you know, but meanwhile that is, I mean, there were porn stars queefing on. Yeah. But like online now that's nothing. Think about no one's trying to shut down Instagram, but I watched two people get murdered this morning while I was taking a shit. Two different people. But I feel like YouTube is starting to age restrict and I've got a couple of things from my podcast age restricted cause we said porn star. People are saying corn star now, which seems way dirtier. And vaccine you say you can't even say the jab anymore. I don't know. I think Russell Brand figured out something to say. If you say vaccine, they'll special sauce. Yeah. They'll demonetize you or they'll special sauce. Yeah. Because they do use it. They use a machine, like some sort of machine learning that picks up. It's not like a individual reviews every single podcast, but you can ask for a review if they decide that it's demonetized, but they also kind of weaponize that. It seems like that demonetization is a strategy to make you self censor. Yep. 100% and age restricting. Like to put in your age and all that is such a hassle, but I know that I think me, Theo, Santino, Bobby, we all, we bleep the first 10 minutes of curse words. Interesting. You kind of have to. When we left YouTube, when we announced that we were going over to Spotify, one of the first things that happened is YouTube stopped demonetizing us completely. They just said, okay, well he's not going to be here for very much longer. He's only here for three more months. Let's make all the money. We didn't get right. Did we get any demonetized once you make this switch? That's what it seemed like happened, but we don't know what no one officially said that or did that or anything like that. What a diplomatic answer. Good job. And they're trying to say it's to protect kids, which I'm all about protecting kids, but doesn't YouTube have their own kids channel, kids tube or something? Yeah. The thing is like people don't pay attention to what the fucking kids are watching. So it's like we're doing the job of the parents. That's right. Do you remember when the YouTube had that problem because there was cartoons that seemed like regular kid cartoons, but then they would get like really violent and like Mickey Mouse would get super drunk and hit people over the head with bottles. Do you know that? I mean half of porn now is like Shrek getting blown by Elsa from Frozen. Really? But also we grew up on like Ren and Stimpy and like Beavis and Butthead. I mean that shit was bonkers. Wild. Yeah. But did you, were you aware of that whole trend where there was this like, so like say if a kid was watching YouTube and you're watching some cartoons, these people who made these cartoons and I think they rooted out a lot of them and got rid of them, but these people that made these cartoons, they would figure out a way to get into that algorithm so that the kids, it would just play the next video and then play the next video and then they would play one of these and one of these videos. It was always weird. It's like someone, someone would always get drunk. Someone would fall down and break their head open. There would be blood everywhere. It was really weird. Was it like people trying to like psychologically harm kids or is it just a accident? I don't know what they were doing, but they were cartoons that seemed to be like regular kids cartoons, but they would follow a very specific pattern. There was always a broken bottle. There was always a lot of blood, but it was like Mickey Mouse and fucking Goofy and shit. For instance, this is not like a well known one. I just picked one, but this is like a bunch of known characters doing a bunch of weird shit. But this is like live action. This is what some of them were 100%. This channel has 700,000 followers. But what's the 6.7 million views on this video? It would fall into that. It's honestly, it's just algorithm that they were like manipulating the algorithm. They're just trying to benefit off the algorithm. Anything that would click off of a kid watching Frozen or Elsa or Spiderman or the Joker or anything and it would just hope that one of these would eventually fall in there. So they're baiting kids with the iconic characters. Kids are just watching it all day long. The kids would watch Disney and chill out Nickelodeon. If you're 8, you want to watch Elsa from Frozen. They don't know what this is about or not. But this doesn't seem as fucked up. 100% this was, but it just started, people started getting crazier with it and crazier with it and crazier with it. Then you would find some weird, I think people were making claims that there was then like child porn stuff was getting mixed in here. Not fully on YouTube, but it was definitely, there were videos crossing a line. Like I have friends that used to, I almost did this when I was struggling for money back in the day. You put up like football games or clips from football games up. You know they're going to get taken down, but you can get like, you know, quick, you know, 50,000 views or something. You know what I mean? Just like NFL, they're going to take it down, but it's enough to get a check. I think they catch it faster, but that feels like what that is too, right? It's definitely a strategy. It's just people, you can sit at home and find a way to get money off of this system because there's so many holes in it. Because you know it's just going to pop up in a kid. It's going to say suggested for you. The kid's going to click on it and you're going to get paid. Jamie, what were those cartoons? Have they rooted out all those cartoons? Are they gone? I mean, you know what I'm talking about, right? Remember those? Look, I just clicked on a different one. Look at the screen. Like right below it is the Elsa, Spider-Man cartoon thing. That's right. Cartoon hookups. There you go. This is 600,000 people on this channel. This has a million views. Seven years ago. It's all just finding holes to get into this. Elsa and Spider-Man have sex. Look at Elsa's titties bouncing. Her tits should not look like that. They're bouncing a lot. I see the whiskey in the corner. Batman's sad. Uh oh. Blackface. In blackface. Offensive. This is easier to make than the live action one because one person can make this instead of you needing seven actors to get together. Like some kid in Pensacola made this. Most likely. I mean, I don't know for sure. But the weird ones were kids cartoons that were cartoons like Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse. You remember what I'm talking about? Which were pretty violent to begin with. This is just an extension of this was a very deep network of all sorts of weird stuff. A lot of those are probably now taken down. This was six or seven years ago. I'm sure they've done some work to get rid of that. See if you can find any of those old cartoons because they were so weird. It didn't make sense. Like I'm surprised that they don't have more parental controls on YouTube. Not that I'm advocating for it, but it must be a nightmare to be a parent. Well just think about the sheer number of people that are posting things every minute of every day all over the world. I mean the volume. There's an article from 2017. What is going on? Spider-Man and Elsa have taken over YouTube and it's confusing. Yeah. If you're a kid and you just watched Spider-Man you're just going to Google it all day. The videos are gone though. This is going to be the thing. But this kind of makes more sense to me because it's like those two things were very popular at the time. There you go. Wait, whoa, whoa. It said having them get buried alive. There's an ungodly nightmare depicting everything from characters being buried alive to peeing on each other. What? Sick. Okay. See these videos are all gone. Oh. The videos are removed. They've definitely probably created a team to get rid of them. This created such a problem for them six, seven years ago. Hmm. That makes sense. This is part of an adpocalypse. It's like adpocalypse two I think is what happened with this. Apocalypse one was a whole different thing. Same reason they're in adult ones. It keeps them glued to the screen. Yeah. It's just preying on kids. Wow. The whole thing is very strange. But it's also that's what happens when you have these platforms where anybody can post anything. And then people try to figure out a way to manipulate it. What's the best way to get people to pay attention to your stuff? So the people that work there are constantly just whack-a-mole trying to get the toxic stuff down. Look at how many people are doing these prank videos. They go up to people and prank them. And just to try to get reactions. People are getting shot. See that guy that got shot in the mall? No. Some guy wouldn't stop fucking with this dude and the guy just pulls out a gun and shoots him. Yes I did see that. I was gonna say malls seems like the most dangerous place to be at this point. Remember when we just walk around malls for five hours as teenagers with no money? Yeah malls were like the playground for teenagers. Now it's just smashing crabs. People getting shot. I've seen this before but it's gotten way worse. On Twitch which is supposed to be for video games. Watch people play video games. Maybe talk and do some interviews or podcasts. They expanded it into this area now called pools, hot tubs and beaches. And as you can see it's just mostly 100% girls just sitting at a pool, hot tub or beach. Mostly naked. Mostly on their knees. And most of this I found out after watching it for a little bit and doing some research. They're just leading them to their OnlyFans account. Look at this one. Yoga workout time. Look at the pose. Yeah I'm doing yoga. The one in the corner. I don't think that's yoga. That's yoga. I look at my ass. It's yoga. Yeah. There's body painting that goes on where they're literally just like all about butt naked with a little bit of paint cover and the proper nipple areola area. Sure. There's a lot of gals that are making a living doing this stuff these days. Yeah. Like way more than ever before. I mean the pandemic. It beats working at Walgreens. The pandemic is when it really hit hard. You know? I mean I can't say if I was 22. If I was 22. If I was 22. I don't know what I would have done. I'd be out there doing yoga in my underwear. If that's all I had to do. If OnlyFans was around when I was 22 I don't know if I wouldn't be doing yoga with wrapped in ropes. The thing is if you get in that. It's like there's two arguments right? If you get in that ecosystem and that's what you do for money now and you start making a lot of money you're going to get very accustomed to making a lot of money. So if an office job comes up in the field of your choice and then they have to go hey Whitney can you come in the office? We just discovered your Twitch underwear page. Tricky. And what's going on here? You represent this company and we sell air conditioning units. You might literally not be able to get a regular job anymore. That's probably true. But then here's the other thing. If you do get a regular job. What are you doing it for? You're doing it for money right? Can't you make way more money showing your asshole? I mean the heartening thing actually about OnlyFans is a lot of it is like women breastfeeding. Imagine if you could have an image. You know how you could see likes and views? What if there was an image of every guy jerking off to you breastfeeding? You could just pop up into a window and see like a thousand squares. Like what? Yeah I mean there's something wholesome about it. And also it feels like there's this I don't know at least on OnlyFans what I've seen. Because also I have an OnlyFans account that's just for jokes. So instead of dirty photos and dirty videos it's just dirty jokes. A lot of like comics are starting to make money on there. Just put your jokes on there that you'll get canceled for saying it on Twitter. It's kind of like Patreon or whatever. Because there's a lot of people that are like influencers and chefs and stuff like that on OnlyFans now making money on there the way you would on Patreon. But it's interesting because remember like porn you used to develop a relationship with one porn star. Like there's a lot of guys that kind of want to be monogamous with their person. And that's part of the reason these women are making so much money. They get tips. Oh yeah. They have like Angela White. She came on my podcast. Her biggest moneymaker is DMing with men and sending them customized videos. Men want to be shrunk and for her to put them in her pocket. And she just sends a video of her putting the man in her pocket. Oh. Remember that lit video with Pamela Anderson when we were younger? Is that some weird fantasy back to that? Maybe. You make me completely miserable. I think sometimes she eats them. For a little more I think she'll eat them. It's like a lot of it seems like it's not just because you can find butt holes and crazy sex anywhere on Pornhub. It's just some weird fetish. It's like that exactly. And she shrinks them down. She goes into Photoshop. She's very savvy with the Photoshop shrinks them and then puts them in her pocket. And that's it. OK. So it's pretty wild. I don't know. I mean it seems like there's like a I think there's some men on there that kind of don't want to just see some stranger. Because also you go on Pornhub and all these places. Like I don't know how old this person is. I don't. It's a lot of step brother and steps. I don't know what I'm looking at. I'd rather kind of see a woman breastfeeding so I know that she's you know. Yeah. Well there's got to be weird kinks outside of just like regular sex stuff. Like how many guys like to get their ball stomped on. What is that? I don't know. That can't be good. I think some of it is CEOs. I think there's denigrated being humiliated. I think there's some of these guys that are the head of these giant corporations and they're under so much crazy stress and they they take some sort of jolly and getting kicked in the nuts told what to do like dominatrix is they'll tell you they deal with these like high stress guys that run businesses. I have a friend that did that for a while. She sold or she would send guys this one guy photos of her feet but she would demand like money from him. That's what he was into. He was like send me a hundred dollars right now kind of thing. And then she would insult him. She would just go to his house and insult him. Yeah. They call them humiliate tricks is. Yes. Yeah. OK. Cool. I mean I'm encouraged by how popular milk porn is. It's very promising. Mills can keep it together these days. It used to be they didn't lift weights. They didn't take care of their nutrition. They didn't lift weight. They hit a certain point in time and you know. And then there was the milfs that were like that that much sand left in the hourglass and so they were really horny because they knew they only had like that much more time where men found them desirable. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know if it was that because I remember you remember when I made that robot for one of my specials I went down to the robot making factory and they told me the most popular request for the sex doll nipples were large and brown like the nipple being like almost as big as the boob and dark which is what happens when you breastfeed your nipples get darker so I thought it was some primordial thing about like dark nipples or something. Right it could be it's like a maternal thing. Or people are just guys are watching milk porn to be like is that what my wife's supposed to look like? Maybe just comparing I don't know. Yeah. But it's always heartening when you go to a porn site and milf is number one I'm like yeah. What's generally the milf fucks the stepson. That's a lot of it. It's like what is that? Well the dad is an asshole who's a shitty dad he was never home he was mean and then he gets rid of the mom and gets this new hot monster that lives in his house that's just a cock addict and then. Are we running out of taboos guys? Are we running out of taboos? When did sex get so boring guys? Well that's the most likely one because you couldn't do it the other way I guess you could but it'd be way creepier. Yeah yeah. It was the stepdad and the daughter. Yeah no no no no no thanks. That's really creepy. I'm good on that. But right isn't it funny? They do that. I know they do that but isn't it funny that the stepdad and the daughter creeps me out but the stepson's like hahaha. For some reason for some reason what is that it's like if you were to do like professor student you'd be like ugh but if it's like teacher and you're like and guy you're like oh good for him. Yeah I know. It's a tough one. Yeah but it's just we don't worry about boys the way we worry about girls. That's what it is. I've been trying to write a bit about this for so long and I think there's a lot of reasons I can't crack it but it is really like when boys get molested nobody cares. Nope. Well they do if they get molested by men then it's murderous. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah and if like an actress in LA gets hugged too long at a Christmas party like we shut down. Variety rates. Front page articles. We march. The highways are shut down. Like everyone gets fired. It's interesting. And then there's also that some women particularly in Hollywood they use seduction to ingratiate them with people. They will flirt with people to get closer to producers and that's one of the reasons why you know who is the famous one that Tarantino told us about that had a bed in his office where he would bed starlets. This was like you know back in the day in the early movie business. I forget who it was. Hitchcock? No I don't believe so. I feel like he definitely. But I'm sure it was a common practice. I think all of those studio heads and all those executives. Like Harvey Weinstein was just one of many. That's how they did it. You got jobs if you blew guys and there was a lot of girls that were willing to do that and the real actresses would frown upon it and they'd be mad but a lot of times they'd be boxed out. And we heard those stories. Yeah. I told you at that time Harvey Weinstein came to the Comedy Store. No he didn't. He came to the Comedy Store. He came in the main room and I left and the manager at the time called me and he said Harvey Weinstein came to see you. You need to come back here right now. And the only reason I didn't go back is because I was like no he saw me in like good lighting. Like I don't want to come back but that's hilarious. I missed my window. Yeah. Yeah you got lucky. Yeah. You dodged that one. It is wild though like how I mean when I first moved to L.A. people go yeah you go to sleep Harvey like it was just like people just said it like it was like Ellen's mean like everyone just said it. It's like Ellen's mean and Harvey Weinstein you have to he has to rape you for you get a job and you're like cool let me know. But he made deals with people right. Like where he really did follow up on his deal. You won an Oscar. Yeah you know because Oscars are all bought. You know it's a lot of money to win an Oscar. Is it really bought? How much of it's bought? I mean Jamie help. I mean it's. I haven't bought one myself. It's pretty expensive from what I understand. I mean you do also have to campaign you have to go to these nursing homes because the voters are in nursing. I don't know how it works now. I think they've kind of you know I mean George Lopez is on the board now. So I don't know exactly. Is he really? Well yeah they really wanted to make a big you know diversity push for the board of the Oscars. Yeah. Park Park. Yeah. Make it a girl make her gay. So funny. But it is. It's a big campaign you have to put to buy all these ads. You have to you know. Yeah. It's funny how that's still a big deal. Awards for art. Mm hmm. I was thinking about this of the new special I did. I'm probably going to get in a bunch of trouble because they OnlyFans TV did let me yell about trans people for 30 minutes. Now that Ellen Page is a trans man can she win an Oscar if she was emotional in a role or is that cheating? Huh. Well she's still a tiny man. You know. Yeah. So it's going to be difficult for her. But if she can crush it she he if he would I on cue. Is it cheating. She is it's like it depends on what hormones. Yeah. Yeah. If he's jacked up on testosterone. OK. So should we have to do that kind of testing the same way you would test an athlete who is about to compete against biological females. You know it's also interesting if you become a trans man you're allowed to be like as manly as possible. And if you become a trans woman you're allowed to go full ho. You have to look like many celebrate. Yeah. Yeah. They celebrate these embracing of gender norms of gender ideals. They celebrate it when when you're trans. Yeah I make fun of all my like the trans girlfriends I have I'm like you know that women wear pants right like women we don't have to dress like Betty Boop. Like why why are you wearing cat ears. They're trying so hard. But I think it's also it's like if you're trying to make up for lost time it's like OK. Maybe you wanted maybe you wanted to be a girl when you were like 8 so you're dressing the way you know like in a princess costume. Right. For 25 years you held it back. Yeah. But I think it's like if you're going to transition to a woman in 2023 you need to look like one of the boys from Stranger Things. Like this is how we dress now. Right. We dress like bull dykes now. But they can't because it's got to be clear what you're doing. Yeah. You can't have no makeup on and short hair like what. You have to really like indicate it a little more. The Elliot Page one when he got fake abs is the wildest one. Is that like a surgery for fake abs? Yeah they do surgery for fake abs now. They give you ab implants. I bet you could get newticles too. You know how like you know when some people will neuter their dogs. Oh they give them fake balls. They give them fake balls. You probably get those too. I guess you could. Have you seen the pictures of the fake abs? You got to see this. No. Because it's so crazy because it would be like someone who only did sit ups with like a weighted vest on and dumbbells and like reverse squats. You would have to do like hardcore ab exercises to develop a core like this. And it's also no trans men transition to like a dad bod. I guess. Chaz Bono. Oh that's a good point. Yeah. That's a good point. But so if you get fake abs is it like calf implants? Yeah. And what happens if you actually start working out? They're hard as a rock. Not hard as a rock but it's like there's an implant like a titty implant that's under there that accentuates the area where you would have extraordinary abdominal muscles. Show the picture. Elliot Page. And it's just like a silicone? Well 100% it's not real. Because here's the thing. When you look at the rest that one's one but the one out in the light that you showed the first photo. Those are giant abs muscles. Like to have ab muscles like that you would have shoulder muscles, you'd have arm muscles but he doesn't have either of those. He's got armpit hair. Is that a merkin or can you grow those? You can grow those. Oh wow. Yeah. But like those abs are crazy. That's wild. You would have to be like doing some serious fucking sit ups to develop abs like that. That's super intense. Because even if you're just flexing like holding it for the camera with good lighting like those are extraordinary. Yeah to have them cut in like that. But the rest of your body doesn't have any muscle development. I think that's a before picture. Yeah that makes sense. That's skinny. And then on the right one. Look at that. Those are giant. How is there already a surgeon that does this? They've been doing it for a while. Yeah ab implants. You can see some horror nightmare story ab implants where they look super fake. Show them. Oh look at that. Oh god. So they slice you open. Shove these fucking things in there and then all of a sudden it looks like you've got massive abs. I have a friend who used to work with David Copperfield and said after they worked together one night they were in like some hotel and he went out on his balcony and saw David Copperfield's full body muscle suit hanging like over the railing to like dry out. Like he wore a full suit underneath. Oh to make it look like he had a great body. Oh my god that's insane. Like a superhero costume? Like a wax like costume basically with like abs and pecs. No way and then he put his shirt on over that? And it was hanging over the railing. It just looked like this. I know. I know. Wild. That's a toupee times a hundred. That guy's wild. That's crazy. I didn't even know they had those other than like for movies. I'm sure he got like custom made because he's David Copperfield. Just go to the gym you lazy fuck. I know. Like how many days a week are you working on magic? Doesn't he have his own island? I think he's got like an island. I'm kind of into people that have islands right now. Well he's been headlining in Vegas for so long. Is that real? Yeah silicone. What? Oh that's an outfit. So if you look at the sleeves you see how it fits over. Yes exactly. Okay. Yeah. Yeah he has like one of these. That's so crazy. I don't know. Those are great tits by the way. That's so cool. What? That is nuts. No oil nonstick. No oil and nonstick. But imagine you're on a date with a girl and she sees that and she's like that's my kind of guy. No. We're allowed to have push up bras and no boobs underneath. That's my kind of guy. And then he's like well you know I got really sick and I got off medication. A week ago you were jacked. What happened? Where the fuck are your muscles? My wax suit belt. What is that? I don't know. Silicone pants first. Transgender realistic cross dresser underwear. That's real. Oh that's realistic. Okay. That's realistic. Okay. Realistic is good. Is that like Luigi transition pubes? What are those black curly pubes? That's a cheap one made in China. Made in for China. I like this new bit you're working on. I was thinking about it. I don't want to tell people what it is but about China. They just took the pandas back. Yeah. Fuck you and you can't have our pandas. That means they're going to nuke us. If they're like get out the pandas. Why would they take three pandas back now? Because we're assholes. But what was the motivating, what was the impetus? Oh I don't know. Biden has to live with the fact that under his presidency we lost three pandas. Yeah. Forget billions of dollars. The whole thing is spooky. Because they, look if I was in another country I'd be looking at America right now and go if you're going to do something. Now's the time. Now's the time. When that Corrine Jean-Pierre or whatever her name is got busted tweeting as Biden. That White House press secretary lady is the worst White House press secretary lady ever. I mean it's just Weekend at Bernie's at this point. But she got caught tweeting as Biden. I mean. On her account she forgot to switch accounts. No. Yes. Oh Jesus. You didn't see that? No. Jamie. Have we solved whose cocaine is in there? Hunter Biden's. It's Hunter's for sure. Yeah. The dude likes to party. Oh my God. That's the only reason why nobody knows whose fucking cocaine it is. How do you, that place has so many cameras. You're telling me they can't figure out who dropped the baggie. It's so true. And if he was a good son. And he was there? He would give some to his dad so his dad can get their speech. Mocked for deleted tweets saying she ran for president. So this is the tweet. So her tweet was investing in America means investing in all America. When I ran for president I made a promise that I would leave no part of the country behind. Like. No. So she's treating you as the president. No. But now we know who writes that stuff. No. Yes. She mistakenly logged into her Twitter account instead of President Biden's to post the tweet. Oh no. All the people that are doing cocaine shouldn't be and all the people that aren't should be. It seems like she could actually use some. Oh she's probably just I can't believe the job she signed up for. Like you think you're going to get the White House press secretary and then every day Biden's saying something dumber. There it is. Oh my God. Every day Biden saying something dumber and then the press is grilling you on it and you have to explain it away. I just don't understand why they can't put a little bronzer on this guy. I mean. There's nothing you could do. He's he's at the end. I mean he's basically. Joey Diaz said it best. He goes they already got the formaldehyde in them. So I have to be. Can we take a break. I'm sure you do too. Please. Pregnant lady would love to. Biden being old. I mean what. I mean why does our president look like a condominium in Fort Lauderdale. I just don't. I can't imagine that they think he's going to run in a year for president. It's a year from now November next year. And then he's going to run for four more years. He's going to be the president for four more years like how did you see the clip where he said oh God it was so racist by accident. He was like you know something about the difference between poor kids and poor kids and just as smart as white kids. Why did we not start the impeachment process right then and there. Did you see where he said recently that he taught at University of Pennsylvania for four years. Oh my God. Never taught a single class. Oh my God. It is just the guy. He looks like the Nutcracker like the other countries are just like laughing at us. They must be so fun. It must be so fun for them to watch us implode. And if you literally if you are Russia I'm sure you've seen that Yuri Bessman off video where. OK. You should see this. We shouldn't play it because we played on this podcast too many times but I'll show it to you afterwards. It's a former guy from the KGB who's explaining what they've done to America and how they've infiltrated their education systems and the demoralization of America and that this is a plan and it takes two generations and he's talking about it's a 20 year plan and he's talking about this in the 1980s. And that it's already been implemented. It is too far gone. You will not stop this process. This process is demoralization of your country will be complete. And it starts with teaching Marxist Leninist ideas in colleges. Wow. Yeah. It's wild. It's wild because if this guy was just guessing in 1984 and it's not really like a long term Soviet strategy to destroy America that has been like super duper successful. I mean feels like there's I don't know RFK junior but I'm not weighing in on the science part of it. I just feel like if we had someone being like we're coming for I mean his voice alone it's like I think everyone would be like damn they're not fucking around in America. Well I think there are other countries biggest fear would be Trump getting back in power. Because he's the one guy that is even though he's a business insider he's a billionaire and all that good stuff but he's not a political insider and he does not work well with those people and he wants to do things his way. And I just think he's a much more formidable adversary for these countries. He doesn't doesn't fuck around with them but he also will make deals with them too. Like it's kind of crazy how he was no one gave him credit for saying the literally the most logical thing when he was talking to CNN's Caitlin whatever her name is. I forget the woman's name sorry but he was talking to her and she said do you want Ukraine to win this war? He goes I want people to stop dying. No one else to say that. That seems like the most logical thing to say like let's stop figure out how to get people to stop dying. Of course it's a horrible war. You got people that were literally a part of the same union and now now they're blowing each other up. I think we're getting to a point where people just want to see someone be fearless. It's like the same person who's like Rosie O'Donnell's fat. Yeah is she not? Like I mean it's funny but it's also like it just boils down to yeah this guy will say the truth. What happened with like Rosie talk shit about him or something like that? Is that what's told? I don't really know. Well I think look we forget that he was the biggest TV star before he was the president. I mean The Apprentice was massive so I think he maybe knew her from that and he called her fat. I mean remember when he... But people just it boils down to like yeah she is. He's fat too. Yeah exactly Rosie are you not? Like I don't know tell you. So he's just saying the truth and I think that it's like people are trying so hard just to get reelected instead of just tell the truth and serve their country and it's so obvious and transparent. It's like the more... It's like when that woman E. Jean Carroll came forward against him for like sexual harassment and he was like look at her you think I'd harass her? I mean just like the guy's unstoppable. That lady's a nutty lady. You ever seen that lady get interviewed? No. Yeah they try to keep her away from the cameras. Oh boy she's like an advice columnist or something. She's a journalist. She's eccentric. We're at the point where like yeah we're at war you guys. We need someone who's just going to like say the truth. Well also like what are our options? You know what are the options? Yeah. The whole thing is just so scrambled. It's a scary time. It's weird because it's just it shows you the thing that you've already known but you didn't want to admit that this system is not run logically and it's not run by someone who's like some evolved experienced person who's got a real grip on how to run this system. There's no one like that. They don't exist. So you just have these special interest groups that are forcing things to get done that shouldn't get done and money getting jocked. You see that Zelensky the other day just asked for credit. He's like if you won't give us any more money please give us credit. Like credit. Credit so they can buy more weapons and shit. If you aren't going to give us money give us credit and we'll pay you back. It just seems kind of wild that we're sending all this money all over the world. Not that they don't need help but it's like what about people in America? What about Hawaii? What about Hawaii? We just forgot about Hawaii or? Yeah. They accidentally spent an extra six billion dollars on Ukraine. They sent an accident an accidental six billion which would be more than enough to replace every single home that burned in Maui and there was no consideration for doing that at all. And we don't have clean water in Appalachia or Flint. Have we solved that yet? Flint's fucked. Flint's fucked. Okay. All right. And then everywhere else it has water as fluoride in it. Explain that. Which that was. Didn't the Surgeon General do that in the 50s? Like wasn't that something that was done by the Surgeon General? I would check his fucking stock market portfolio. And was the idea of that to help with dental stuff? Gary Brekka was talking about on the podcast yesterday. I love that guy. Yeah he's great. He said there's some evidence that it's a thin layer of protection that it can give you but also brush your fucking teeth. Also wouldn't Flint water criminal prosecutions end with no charges frustrated residents. Wow. No charges. This is just updated recently. This just happened. Well it could have just been negligence and you know lack of I don't know what I have no knowledge about the Flint thing other than when Obama pretended to drink water from there. Can I get a glass of water? I'm serious. I'm thirsty. Can I get a glass of water? This is not a prank. It just takes like goes like this. You never seen it? No. Oh my god it's amazing. Oh no. It's amazing. It's amazing. He gets a glass of Flint tap water and I swear to god he drinks it like this. Like this. Is he trying to act like it's the problem is solved? He's bullshitting the world. Like to think that you could bullshit the world over whether or not you drink water. Have a sip of water. Also have that sip just for the. Come on these people are drinking it. Get a little. Watch this. I'll get this. Stop. Stop. I'm going to talk about this. Everybody settle down. Do it from the beginning. Get it do it from the beginning. It's two minutes he's asking for someone to bring him the water and all sorts of shit. Yeah. Can I get some water? I'm going to get a glass of water. I'm going to get a glass of water. I'm going to get a glass of water. Can I get some water? Get some water. He's just waiting for the water. Trying to save time. They're straining the whole lot of it in the back. But why would they be cheering when they're literally. I want a glass of water. I want a glass of water. He's literally drinking poison water. They're drinking poison water and everyone's cheering that he's asking for poison water. Because they're excited he's about to fall over and die. No they're thinking you know he's showing us that he's going to fix it. I mean. Well I'm still waiting for my water. Meanwhile you know that's Fiji they poured the fuck out of it. Right now they're like they just ran to the grocery store in this amount of time. Now the reason I know I'm okay is because I already had some Flint water. Here we go. Here we go. Like he's doing a shot of Red Bull. This is spooky. Usually when something isn't a stunt you have to say that. It's 100% a stunt. When was the last time a president stopped a speech to ask can I get a glass of water. What they would never do that they would have water ready for him. If you do stand up how often have you said can I get a glass of water. No you bring a fucking water on stage with you. And then what happened it still hasn't been handled. This is a trick. Gross. Gross. I mean did it even get in his mouth. I mean it's Appalachia water still from Purdue poisoning the water like a lot of people that I went to high school with and stuff. Thyroid cancer 40. Really? Yeah from the DuPont. I mean so many chemicals have been thrown into Appalachia but West Virginia water DuPont put in all that. Remember there's a Dark Water there's a movie with Mark Ruffalo. Great movie. He did it again. Here's another one watch how he did it this time. Watch watch he gets up his mouth. I have not been doing stunts here but you know. Oh really. And this used a filter. The water around this table was Flint water that was filtered. But he didn't drink it. He did instantly start stuttering after he had a tiny bit of it. So I start blinking. Instant neurological damage. So what was the Purdue thing. Was it something. DuPont. DuPont. Sorry DuPont it was Teflon. So the movie Dark Water covered it but it was actually RFK worked on this case back when he was a lawyer. Because you know RFK spent so much time trying to clean up clean up water which I really admire. But what Teflon was made of they ended up just pouring into the. Dark water. Dark water. I never watched this. Who's in this? Amazing Mark Ruffalo. Tim Robbins. Tim Robbins. Hannah Hathaway. And it's all about. It's all about the app of the poisoning of the water in Appalachia. He's a lawyer. And the lawyer who took on the case for free to try to take on DuPont. I know it's like John Reeves doesn't he. A shorter version of John Reeves. Okay. Disgusting. I mean it's. Well they've been doing that from the beginning of time. You know and then when they're not doing it here they do it in South America. And what they're doing I mean in Appalachia with the coal mines and all the pollution from that is really incorrigible. Yeah it's all crazy. I mean it's pretty wild. We were looking at this video of this one town in Indiana where they have multiple coal mines in the area. And you go outside these people have like a thin layer of soot that's on their windshield. And you just wipe it off with your finger. And so like you're breathing that. It's going to the kids lungs yeah. Everybody host of different sort of cardiovascular diseases and lung diseases these people have. Fuck. I mean it's so heartbreaking. And I mean I guess I don't know enough about the topic but you know there's this great document called Hillbilly about the moment Hillary really put her foot in her mouth calling for clean energy and she said it was not the deplorable speech but it's she said we're going to get rid of coal mining. You guys did the best you could to keep the lights on. What. And by best they could they died. Like I've grandfather worked in coal and what Massey Coal and Sinclair Coal what they did to that region is so despicable because number one they wouldn't allow for no unionizing and it's a great place to union bust because people live so far apart they would isolate you know the Italians from the Irish from the blacks so that nobody would collude and unionize but they would pay the coal miners in vouchers to the Sinclair oil store so that they could never build any kind of wealth. They built the schools. I mean they own everything you know. And it's a great documentary about about how Trump put on a hard hat. He went to West Virginia and said I'm never going to get rid of coal because I'm not going to get rid of your jobs. And even though there's only 50,000 left it's like you know one of the most valuable in terms of like voting areas of the country that people just ignore. People just never go there. It's heartbreaking but that's also center the opioid crisis. So it's coal it's Teflon it's poisoning water and then opioid crisis. Yeah there's spots in this country where you get a bad roll of the dice to be born in the fucking hillbilly commune West Virginia and like fuck. That's right. That's right. And there's a lot of like you know in the fact that it's thought of as this backwards area always breaks my heart because it was the first like woke state. It was the first state that said we're not doing slavery said we're not doing slavery. John Brown left and said we're not playing this shit. And so there were they just a symptom a victim of the fact that they had coal coal. Yeah. Came in being exploited which is you know I mean I don't know if this is exactly true or not but people I know that are in the coal business there is like you know they've taken all of our natural resources if they hadn't mined all of our coal like by now we would have diamonds. You know like they've taken all the wealth of the region and it's just it's totally devastating what it's done to the topography. I mean the trailers the boulders crush kids all the time because of the way that they've messed with the topography and completely just depleted the soil. So they'll have collapses and shit. Floods horrible floods. Dude imagine being in one of those things when it collapses. Can't can't can't probably be in that little Titanic easy bake oven. There's one place that has coal mines that has a fire that's been burning inside that coal mine for like decades. Wow that makes sense. I mean the fact that that I think about this all the time because I don't know where you are on like ancestral trauma and epigenetic imprinting and stuff but I've always had a little bit of a like I don't like small spaces. You know and my grandfather was in mines and sometimes that imprints on you. Look at this original cause of start date still a matter of debate. It is burning at depths up to 300 feet over an 8 mile stretch of three thousand seven hundred acres at its current rate. It could continue to burn for over 250 years due to the fire in the 1980s. Centralia was mostly abandoned. Can you imagine going a mile into the earth. See if you can find a video of that because there's videos of it. It's very strange. So this coal mine fire has been going on forever. It burns underneath the ground and it's all coal so it's never going out and there's oxygen to it so it's never going out. Since 1971. Wow. Fucking crazy. Dude. I mean they would. It says it's been burning since 62. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's unfathomable. It's just coming out of the ground everywhere. Imagine you're driving through and there's no one there. That's some walking dead shit. Can't. Too scary. Also how bad does that air suck? That's the thing about the coal mining thing. It's like what you really need to do is find other industries. Yeah without taking coal miners jobs because it's like it's this thing where they have this skill and then all of a sudden it's like we're going to get rid of your job. Well remember learn to code. That was the thing. They were telling them learn to code. Oh God. Like what? Learn to code the robots that are going to replace you. Learn to get something that's going to give you a job is what the idea was but it's like fuck what are you saying? It must be wild. Like you're going to send kids to college soon. Like is that a weird. Are you like I mean college like. You know I had this conversation with someone the other day where they were like you know kids today have it harder. I'm like bro kids were born before there were floors. No no no. You know there was no then invented floors yet and people were having kids. It's complicated for sure. It has always been complicated. Every single time human beings have been alive it's been complicated. These are different complications that our kids are dealing with and we dealt with but. And every generation has probably said that right. Yes. This is the hardest generation for kids. Or the weirdest. Like the 80s are probably weird compared to the 70s. Also kids used to work in factories. Oh yeah. That's the other part of that dissolving illusions. Some still do. Burning mountain is a rare phenomenon. A coal seam buried 30 meters underground which has been burning for at least 5,500 years. And some say over 15,000 years. Where is that? Australia. It's in Australia? Yeah. Fuck. Is that how we found fire? We just stumbled across it. I think it was lightning. Did we really come up with it? I think it was lightning. I think that's what the current belief is. That originally they carried fire from one place to another. They would get the coals and they would figure out how to maintain it because it was so precious when it happened. And they figured out how to keep fires lit. If you have a fire pit somewhere like a water pit that you're used to going to get water from and you just go walk and get more fire when you're out of fire. You don't need to worry about making it because they have it. Were there brush fires back then? The way there are now? Yeah for sure. I think they figured it out as a super baseline. We don't know what fire is but it's over there so we can just go get more of it. Well I think for sure when they first found fire they said, you know it's kind of nice to get close to this. And then they probably figured out, well you just put more wood on it. You can make it more fire. And then they figured you could pick up the part that's not on fire and take it over here and now you can have fire over here. How do you make one of those things? Then someone figured out, you know what? Friction makes fires. The first dude that figured out how to do this. That's was had OCD's. Have you ever done that? Severe schizophrenic. Made a fire like in Girl Scouts or something. Yeah I did in the Boy Scouts. It takes forever. And I don't think I ever really got a fire. I think I got to where it was blackened from the friction. It was like got a little bit red but I never really made a fire. I wonder if they teach now in Girl and Boy Scouts like just using the mirror and the sun. Doesn't that? I remember my couch there was like a CD. Remember the old school CD's? And it made the sun hit it and it burnt my couch. Do you know that that's the way that some people sabotage fields and start wildfires? They set up magnifying glasses at an angle and then they just leave the space. Like they're competitors or something? I don't know why and who but I know that they have found magnifying glasses set up outside where people have like decided that the sun's gonna hit here, it's gonna burn this and they can just set it there at night and leave. That's pretty crazy. Yeah and it works. That really works. It works. Like I did a lot of that as a kid. We lit paper on fire and shit with magnifying glasses. It's kind of nuts. I mean it's like us kids are always doing dumb shit now they're just filming it huh? Mm-hmm. Always. But that's a pretty wild one that you could take a magnifying glass. Crazy and start a fire pretty quickly. We could kill an ant. Yeah we were kids we would try to kill bugs and shit. Yeah how wild is that? We were monsters. When people say like kids now they leave negative comments and I'm like we used to take shovels and knock over mailboxes. Yeah people used to play baseball with frogs. Oh god we used to toilet paper people's homes like we used to throw eggs at people's cars like we would destroy like now you get like destroyed emotionally for maybe a couple minutes because you feel left out or you got a negative cut. We used to destroy property. Kids used to take rocks and put them in the middle of snowballs and then throw them at cars. Yeah that's brutal. Yeah it was crazy. You'd always hear cars hit the brakes you motherfuckers. I mean why did we do that with my we would take a shovel drive by a mailbox and just cuz you could cuz it's there psychotic you ever go to like a small town you see bullet holes in the stop signs yes that's what that is fuck yeah bang kid I mean now it's just filmed yeah I guess I guess that's I guess that's the new Darwinism is are you gonna film yourself doing it well how about those kids that film themselves riding over that former police chief in Vegas I haven't seen this but I see a couple people die doing a tick tock challenge doing a backflip off of a boat something like over 400 people have died so far taking selfies oh at least at least that we know people falling off mountains just bad shit always happens so what happens is because you're so focused on getting the photo I mean there's a video of I think it's in India a guy taking a video of himself next to a wild bear as the bear eats him oh god and he's not everyone else is filming it but like he's just keeps filming as he gets yeah people are if nothing's happened to you you don't think it's going to happen to you and you have this shuts off your frontal lobe it's that means it's truly a drug yeah is this the guy is taking a selfie oh god I think it's yeah it starts with him taking the video and just oh god and that bear is just like well you're meat yeah you're made out of meat I'm fucking hungry oh god I don't think he survives this right yeah yeah probably not probably not god that fucked up my algorithm for a while but wait what what is the one that the person died would oh yeah these two kids were driving in a car and he was on a bike and they fucking plow into him and they're laughing about it and they filmed it and live streamed it they hit one car hit and run and they hit this guy and killed him and it was initially reported a lot of people like tried to say that they're trying to downplay crime because it was initially reported that he just died from hit and run but and they were like they don't even want to say why I really died now they didn't know why I really took like two weeks before they figured out these kids killed them Jesus Christ yeah they just and no remorse they're laughing in court they're giving people a finger in court is this like a this like psychopathy yeah it's like copy but it's also street cred they're trying to pretend they're hard you know they're and then you go has this always happened we just didn't see videos of it mm-hmm you know like we've always done savage shit well for sure there's always been gang bangers and gang bang initiations and people have always done fucked up things it's just always been a part of human culture but it's just seeing young kids run over an old guy on a bicycle is particularly fucking disturbing wonder though do you think that having all these videos available desensitizes 100% Wow yeah I think 100 I think there's a bunch of factors that desensitize people I think movies violent movies and this is not a judgment like I'm not saying we shouldn't have violent movies or we shouldn't have violent video games but if you don't think that's affecting people of course it is you're being with so much you're so accustomed to seeing violence yep and wild horrific violence I really try to not watch like too much news or read too much news because it spooks me how I can just scroll past a school shooting which is like that yep I'm like right I remember a new town happened I was at a job where we sent everyone home like we sent everyone home and that happened you know it was like I cried now everybody would be like yeah another one I'm worried about my brain that I could just scroll right past that we should be it's free it's a factor you know there's something going on there's something going on with us with this prolonged exposure to horrific things Seger and I have this text message chain where every day we send each other the worst things that we find it's almost like we're waiting for someone to cry uncle we do it every day every day we send each other the and I always tell when he's taking a shit so get something like two o'clock in the morning some horrible car accident some horrible animal attacks remember like there used to be like one video every couple months that would be like the one member two girls one car yeah like that was like and that was fake that was like ice cream or something whipped cream or something like I remember when that happened yeah everybody had seen it now that's just yeah no it's nothing when you realize how extreme that seemed at the time I know and that was a big deal like there was a reaction the two girls one cup reaction video yeah so many of the watching it yeah but now you see ten times worse than that on a daily but if you have my algorithm you know my algorithms a mess I don't know how to clean it do you think it's like part of your brain like cuz like it's like what is it rubbernecking is it kind of the same thing in the brain where you see it accidents like you're trying to study it there's also like you can't believe you're really seeing it like the hit and run that I saw yesterday I was like whoa that's wild you saw that dude I saw it as far from here as the door to this this studio is it was two car lengths away they say that when Fast and Furious movies come out car accidents go up oh for sure right yeah yeah the type of people that are pumped that are Fast and Furious movies out they shouldn't be allowed to drive yeah there's always like so much more drag racing when that happens but I feel like yeah takeovers I do feel like that's probably always happened but also it's like you know people I mean in Rome people would used to go to the Coliseum to see people get torn apart you go to the town square and watch people get hanged for entertainment I mean this is in us and also there's something that we are aware that we're very very vulnerable so if we can watch something happen to someone that exposes that vulnerability we want to see it we want to see the explosion we want to see you know someone drop a fucking grenade off a drone into some dudes that are in a pit we want to see it and I want to know like it's like brains way of rehearsing in case it happens someone just must turn to some about dreams and nightmares and they were like nightmares is your body's way of like preparing scenario do you have more nightmares after watching these not really movie the program they had to cut this out and that's like 91 92 because people were dying apparently I think a few kids died because they were drunk and then laying in traffic like he does in this scene right here oh god I remember this oh god he doesn't get hit obviously but they're just like oh we definitely did that in Virginia what else was there to do I never heard of anyone doing this really not until the movie came out you would never go sit in the road what that was like our main hobby you guys would go sit in the road yeah of course Jesus Christ you see that guy in Venezuela I think it was was it Venezuela or somewhere where he shot a stop oil protesters some guy just got out of is an American I have seen there were they were blocking the road I don't know if it was a stop oil with some sort of a protest like sitting on this guy gets out pulls out a gun and just fucking shoots people no no oh because I've seen the Rangers like drag them out of the road I'll send it to you Jamie the videos available online but this guy just pulls out a gun starts whacking people 77 year old man from is it Panama got on the screen oh this guy I wouldn't fuck with that guy yeah there's a video of it he just they stopped the traffic and he walks up to them and he pulls a gun out and fucking whacks them I do enjoy seeing someone who's like holding up a convenience store or something and then a pedestrian just pulls their gun out and handles it yeah okay I just opened up my thing another guy just this guy absolutely Oh God this guy walking this slow yep it pulls out a gun yeah I'm not sure I show this on the internet yeah themselves oh oh he's waving it yeah he moves the stuff out of the way but one guy gets in the way and he just fucking shoots him Kelso yeah oh boy right here he starts moves like I got they're talking shit to him he's got to get to the urologist watch the guy with the blue hat once you get to that age he's like I have five more years to live I'd rather go to jail than sit in traffic he's got his finger on the pistol why is anyone starting shit with him what did you think was gonna happen he shot two guys but there's a video that you could see him actually shooting people yeah we don't need to see it yeah but these fucking idiots that just block the road as if that's somehow another gonna fix everything or the ones that go to fucking art galleries and smash paintings I do think that there's a little bit of an invincibility complex that comes in with knowing you're being filmed like they probably think oh there's a camera here he's not gonna shoot us right you know what I mean like there's like it's probably got cancer 77 years old doesn't give a fuck that's Clint Eastwood in every one of his movies yeah don't fuck with that guy but I do think sometimes people think oh there's a camera rolling no one's gonna hurt me but it's like that's not it's that is so we're the idea that I'm gonna throw soup at a painting yeah I'm gonna glue myself to the wall to stop I mean when I also try to go like okay when I was in college I had a lot of really dumb idea that's what you're supposed to do in college you're supposed to have dumb ideas you're supposed to like be wrong you know but like the idea that we're taking any of this seriously like is this is wild it's just he's like dumb virtue signaling kids that think they're gonna fix the world by gluing themselves to a wall you fucking idiots but isn't that I look at them and I go this is like a medication mental illness issue it's a mental illness issue it's it's a virtue signaling thing that you can do that now and get exorbitant amounts of attention where you couldn't do that before and then also the punishments are so minimal it's not nothing that you have to worry about losing your livelihood and the rest of your life being a disaster because of it like I say this as someone who had blue hair don't let anyone with blue hair in the museum but you know that's not the problem you can have blue hair and be cool the problem is these fucking young kids and most of them come from wealthy families that's the that's the take yeah they probably had a Monet in their house and they think that for this shit they just think they're gonna but the fact that you're doing these priceless works of art from people who died centuries ago and your cause you think eclipses everything else these people are there enjoying this art they have nothing to do with the oil industry they're just enjoying at a museum the ability to stand in front of something that Picasso made like this is wild and is the idea that it's gonna help with global warming we're gonna yeah stop oil now see children they're fucking children I have some aunts in Virginia and they're so funny about the global warming thing they're like it's freezing we can't afford heat we'd love her to warm up it's called them for a little perspective like we take the bus we would love for there to be less snow on the ground I'm always super suspicious about something that becomes like a major movement that everybody has to be on board with yeah yeah the bottom line about the earth we are 100% affecting it it's measurable human beings are carbon dioxide output in particular pollutants 100% what we're doing to the ocean we're affecting the world in a negative way however when it comes to the climate when it comes to the temperature of the earth it has never been stable ever ever when you look at the earth over a course of 10,000 15,000 whatever years it goes up and it goes down I was reading this whole thing about how in Idaho in I think it was July or August of the 1930s had reached a temperature of a hundred and eighteen degrees like the highest ever recorded temperature they have there was nothing going on there there was no fucking wholesale machines running and fucking diesel trucks everywhere there was none of that it was it's not stable the whole time the earth has been here it goes up and down and what Randall Carlson always says he goes yeah global warming it's bad because you have to move away from the coast he goes but global cooling is what's really scary right that's what's really scary because if we had another like legitimate ice age the fucking most of North America was covered in a mile of ice wild up until 11,000 years ago it always gets tricky too when they're the solution to the problem makes politicians richer too and everybody richer yeah industry richer and people have a vested interest in pushing that narrative financially and I don't have a not the person to be able to corroborate but uh Shellenberger I like Michael Shellenberger was about these like windmill farms that they were putting in the oceans that was killing all these whales you're like why is the pro environment solution killing so many animals it definitely does yeah it's a fucking mess it's a mess but it's also people want to be on the side of something they want to be against this against oil against that instead of everybody working together figure out like what do we need to do to ensure the future and it's definitely not empowering these people that want to take away all your autonomy and all of your control that's not how to do it there's not how to do it it seems like it's like and I love what you like your philosophy on hunting it's like factory farming like what they do with the cows and stuff they're saying is like such a problem yeah most of that learning is horrific people should start hunting their own food that's hard to write most people don't have time yeah they're not gonna they don't have the interest which I get to the real way to do it is regenerative farming you can get regenerative like whether it's from white Oaks pastures or polyface farms is a bunch of regenerative farms right here in Texas that are organic farms you can find them they sell locally they're grass-fed meat these animals just roaming around on a pasture it's all ethical that's what you want you don't you know you don't miss but then again if you're gonna have a city of like 20 million people and there's no one growing anything other than weed yeah you're gonna you're gonna have to get food to all those people how's jack-in-the-box get their burgers yeah they have to have factory farmers I can't remember what the country is that gives everybody two chickens you know like I was reading about something in Hawaii where they're trying to get rid of all the fruit trees and stuff so people can't even just get their own free food they can't even grow their own shit I don't know I'm gonna have a deep algorithm yeah Disney dick algorithm but it's like there is I follow a couple I'm learning how to pickle are you really yeah just yeah just be able to grow your own food and be able to once you have a baby you're gonna move to the mountains or something so I think I might you know I'm looking at places in Texas I really want to just be a full-on dr. Quinn medicine woman yeah that would be awesome and you could have zebras out here oh sick that was so real he's gonna have a fucking zebra 100% you're about um who's the big drug dealer in South America his hippos yeah are like overrunning fucking killing everybody here's gonna be a thousand fairly foes I'm like me and coach I'll take those hippos move to Texas zebras hippos Oh chickens look in dangerous start oh they're so violent they're fucking dangerous awesome crazy animal they kill more people in Africa than any other animal is that true I think yeah I think they kill a lot of people every year I think it's hundreds of people every year die from hippos just by charging or they eat you yeah they just smash you in half when you see them eat a watermelon you're like ah dude that's your head I love the Pablo Escobar is just like had that I wonder if I wonder is that part of how we kill people just throw them to the probably yeah I bet why not I'm pretty kill people every different way you could think of I mean when you're on coke and you're a billionaire and you're running an entire country with bullets that's that's such a funny way just like eyes hippo this is a hippo guy but I do I want to start doing all that I want to start growing my own food I'm gonna do it you should yeah you can have your own small farm and just completely exist off of your own land yep that's totally doable for someone and that's literally what people used to do yeah the early days of America I mean even like it's you know I'm you'll love this I'm pretty much only eating steak and eggs right now you know being pregnant I've feel better pregnant than I felt not pregnant because what I wasn't I was eating what I thought I was supposed to eat I got to eat vegetables and oatmeal for breakfast I was eating so much sugar and trash and when you're pregnant you only eat what you're craving like your body is like tonight you're having a steak two eggs one scoop of peanut butter and four raspberries so you just did it out of desire just all I'm craving interesting it's all been craving everything else kind of made me nauseous or made me feel run down like I have but also this is gonna probably get me in a little bit of trouble I'm also obviously not on birth control and I was on birth control for a while and why did that get you in trouble it I just look birth control is just not good for me personally but I think there's a lot of problems with it for almost everybody and there's also a lot of problems with maybe having I'm glad I didn't have a kid at 25 either that would have maybe been a problem too but my energy levels were low I was always I mean there was one I was on last year that made me like pretty manic manic and what they say is they say oh it makes your body think it's pregnant right mm-hmm I've now been pregnant it's not the same it is not the same at all you know cuz I was like oh like being hyper vigilant being a little paranoid being kind of always a little bit tired putting weight on like that's not my experience now that I'm actually pregnant and I feel like I lost a lot of time to mentally to being on birth control like interesting it kind of affected your thinking process I feel like now I'm so much more mentally clear I mean there's a lot of other variables like you know I started you know I you guys saw I went through you know kind of a little bit of a rough patch lost my mom was smoking too much weed which I'm sure I could do again in the future like I just I was doing it to check out instead of check-in right I was doing it to numb myself from you know pain but my mom was dying right in front of me in hospice and I couldn't cry and I was like this is weird it's weird I mean he she had been in a bed for 12 years I was kind of slowly grieving it but it's not normal right and I was like I got to go off birth control there's something off here with my emotions you know and look all my ex is listening love you but it also makes you attracted smell pheromones differently women that are on birth control there there was a study where they're attracted to men with more feminized faces here they say that you should go off birth control for a year if you're engaged to a man before you actually get married just to make sure that you're still attracted you know because it just it hacks your body chemistry so much you look for a different kind of man when you're pregnant versus when you're you know not so yeah all the hormones I think really did a number on my brain my sex drive was really low I was didn't I just I had no energy but it makes sense couldn't say they're monkeying with your hormonal balance yeah to trick your body into thinking that it's pregnant so that you can't get pregnant and you're taking it every month forever and ever yep and some people get blood clots a friend of mine's 17 year old daughter apparently if you smoke cigarettes it's very dangerous to be on birth control and smoke so that's really dangerous they put me on it I mean when I mean these studies are all public but when they first tested it in the 70s I think at least 13 women in Puerto Rico died from taking it you know and then also in addition to the hormones there's all the endocrine disruptors and hormone shit that were you know there's a lot of other variables too that are probably exacerbating it but I just felt like a zombie a lot of the time and then they put me on Adderall because I was too and then it just becomes this whack-a-mole thing we're doing have it instead of adding all these other things I just subtract this thing and then I was put on Prozac and then I was like smoking weed to try to fall asleep because I couldn't sleep but then I should get off all of this you know so in January I just went off literally everything we seem remarkably balanced oh thanks you do you're like you're there all the time because sometimes you would be off to the races yeah I mean I definitely have a intense person still you know just course by default yeah but I think that being on birth control like I was just I was kind of exhausted and manic at the same time all the time and it makes sense you know and it does put you in a state of hyper vigilance you know being pregnant yeah I'm nesting I'm you know you want to be organized obviously I'm thinking about you know the kid obviously and taking care of myself but I look back at the time that I was on a lot of birth control shit and I it's also people say well you know the birth control led to this sexual revolution where women had freedom they could do whatever they didn't have to worry about being knocked up by a guy if they wanted to have recreational sex and so people plotted it for that but no one thought about the long-term consequences and then also like the difference in how people interact with each other like there's a there was a consequence when people were living in the 1930s or whatever you could get pregnant it was a way everyone was aware of it like there's a danger to it and when you can just take a pill and not sweat it then it's just like this change in your natural behavior and yeah I guess I feel like I stayed in a lot of I mean granted look I not that I was ready to have a kid before now not that I was ready to commit to anyone like that I wasn't fully cooked as a person yet or whatever but I found myself staying in a lot of relationships that I probably shouldn't have stayed in that if I hadn't been on birth control I'd be like oh this isn't the father of my kid I should move on or you know or you end up having getting chemically addicted to somebody through having good sex with someone or getting all oxytocin or whatever and then you end up staying in a lot of relationships you maybe shouldn't stay in instead of just working on yourself you know I initially went on it so crazy I think about all like the weird you know because I used to do for money when I first moved to LA and I was broke I would do focus groups and I would you know take these experimental pills and do these like clinical trials and stuff but when I was I want to say 15 I went on Accutane which is that acne medication and they make you take birth control simultaneously so that you know that's the first time I went on it you know at 15 years old so I was on these I was on Accutane which Santino said it was the worst thing he ever took I mean the main side effect is his head up anal bleeding that's the main one yeah it's like and you can't absorb vitamin D well I mean there's a lot of problems it made Santino a super depressed really yeah he said it was fucking horrible but it did fix his acne yeah it's it may works it's a miracle I mean it because it shrinks your I think it's a huge dose of vitamin A I believe is what it is please correct me if I'm wrong but it shrinks your oil glands some patients may develop tears in the lining of the anus which may cause pain and bleeding especially during bowel movements shit pipe is ripped open you know so I was put on it at that and I just think about like all the prescription drugs like I was put on in such a you know young age and you know God what kind of impact that had well there's so many people that are on them and so many people that are young and they don't even get a chance to make that decision for themselves yeah there's certainly not making an informed decision and so many parents just listen to their doctors and doctors are just pill pushers yeah and I was actually put on I mean this was a couple years ago the and I didn't take it that much but five milligrams of time-release Adderall to sleep so I guess it's like if you actually have sort of ADHD that'll calms you down and I'm like maybe I just need to be tired longer maybe I just need to get up and do some shit maybe I just write some jokes like maybe I just I'm gonna go to sleep a little bit later and wake up a little bit there's another one like the ambient people people that have to take ambient to go to sleep dude I have you taken it no oh dude you should try it it's everyone that takes ambient I'm kind of like my man like I've taken it before it's pretty amazing the problem is the problem is I think you try to fight it because it feels good and I would wake up the next morning and there would just be like open cans of peas that I would sleep I would wake up I remember one morning I woke up I thought I'd been shot I was like covered in barbecue sauce I had just like eaten barbecue it makes you do wild shit yeah every now and then I'm like we should probably at least try the drug that everyone's on going crazy on just to see the problem is if you like it that's the problem life that's what I'm worried about with a lot of drugs I'd love to try Adderall but I don't want to I don't want that to be a thing that I like lean on sometimes when I wrote a book I took it a couple times like 20 milligrams like you got to really make sure like we already are pretty motivated people you got to really make sure that you lock into the thing you want to focus on or else you'll just be all over the place yeah or you'll just be like cleaning one thing for four and a half hours you know you know what I mean like that's meth behavior too isn't it boiled it's pretty close it's definitely meth's cousin and what's the difference between that and Ritterle because I know sorry Ritalin I know people that are still in Ritalin yeah Ritalin's a little bit different but modafinil is another one that is provigil provigil and nu vigil and those are originally there were drugs I believe were developed for for performance enhancing like for cognitive performance but then they realize that you can't prescribe it for that so they started prescribing it for narcolepsy but it keeps you from going to sleep but it doesn't it's a weird one because it doesn't make you feel like you're high like oh but it just there's an interesting reaction that your brain had a lot of people are on it a lot of people are on it and it's so effective that I think Tim Ferriss said when he was writing his book about different hacks that he didn't put it in there because he felt like people would be eating it like candy yeah I mean I gotta say when we were doing the roasts last year a lot of the writers and comics they were doing the chocolate like mushrooms and chocolate like three milligrams mushrooms and chocolate and I did that and that felt like I felt so clear I felt energized I was like micro dosing yeah yeah that's a good move whatever my brain chemistry was I thought it would chill me out and make me sort of like you know numb or not funny like it made me feel very because maybe I wasn't bogged down and I don't know what it does makes you feel like there was no negativity towards myself I was I would like pitch a joke and not be like I thought was a stupid joke you idiot like this so the voices went away and I found that too but then I did a little too much and started and scheduled a call with the maritime lawyer to look for the Scientology ships so why did you want to look for the Scientology ships find the homeless people with me it's like the micro dose has to stay micro or else I I really need to know where Shelley misgavages is that a thing I mean my guess is she's probably involved I don't think she's an innocent everyone's like where's Shelley misgavige let's find her I'm like I bet she's an asshole too but is that a thing like she's missing yeah I think she's still missing but I did get kind of obsessed with the maritime law how Scientologists are able to operate on the ships because there's maritime law there's you know they can get away with yeah isn't that one of the main reasons why L Ron Hubbard started that because you're probably in trouble yeah and it's also why like billionaires I'm like why are you docking your yacht in Monaco a hundred yards from land why aren't you just staying in the best hotel in the world because of what you can get away with also you have a yacht you also do that it's a fucking dope-ass house that floats around the ocean what are you talking about yeah I guess if I had a yacht okay fuck out of here with that hotel but it's like I guess I got really into the laws of how Epstein Island get the Epstein Island had all these plastic cows that someone would move from above or something oh so look at its agricultural yeah really this is why I can't do mushrooms Jesus they had fake agriculture yeah too so that it would move you know I just love the idea that it was someone's job every morning to get a move the fake house cows yeah it is weird that you like that's the whole thing about fishing it's like international waters they can kind of get away with a lot of shit they could just scoop up everything that's out there they get caught in their nets a lot goes on out there LAPD close Shelley miskevige is missing person case after woman claims she was the Scientology leader's wife despite the fact they had mismatched fingerprints and footage of their rendezvous was mysteriously scrambled rambled she was last seen publicly at her father's funeral in 2007 what I mean well they closed the case in 2013 after meeting a woman who didn't so this has been going on for that long that she's been missing but do we really think she was I mean she was probably blowing him every time he got a new celebrity you got John Travolta good like I'm sure that is wild though that's why she really is missing whoa 16 years that whole thing is absolutely bonkers they're still out there running around not only but also it kids born into it that's where I go that's not okay if you're born into it but if you're the kind of person that's susceptible to Scientology is it not a good idea for you I mean it's like what would they be doing if they weren't in that castle in LA they weren't making iPhones they'd starve to death if they weren't in the mines digging out those precious rare earth minerals if you're an adult that's susceptible to Scientology at this point like yeah I don't know maybe you need it maybe that was my joke about Mormons huh you know this more remember when was it proposition eight they were trying to stop gay marriage and the more they actually did they overturned gay marriage in California but the Mormon spent the most money on it they spent a ton of money to try to reverse gay marriage and I said but if you're a Mormon you should be afraid of gay people because if someone can talk you into being a Mormon they could talk you in the suck of their dick they just need a little more alone time with you everyone I know that's Mormon is gay maybe it's just the ones that leave come to LA well I think it's a very strange I mean there's a lot of really cool Mormons I should say this because I spent a lot of time in Utah and I have a lot of Mormon friends and I love them to death they're the nicest cult members they're very polite they believe in community they believe in what they're doing but then there's these sects of Mormonism sect of Mormonism where you have these guys that have like 19 underage wives that are all dressed like fucking pilgrims yeah that we're yes they always find those guys we be that's the song that they own they sing stay sweet or is it be sweet what's the motto that they will get into the girls be sweet but there's a few of those guys right in trouble they probably are okay I'm just saying what's the point of having a young bride of she her forehead's that big I don't know it's just also spider-man helmet on her interesting the keep sweet pray and obey yeah they sing this song blue hair they look like they're blue hair me during the pen warring Jeff's in the fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints apparently Salt Lake City has the highest plastic surgery rate because it's women going in after having 12 kids getting their bodies Oh shellacked back together 12 kids by the time you're learning what a bum deal bum deal because it's like the guy all the guy does is has sex which they always do and they want to do anyway and the woman has to carry this fucking baby for nine whole months her body changes and then on the way out the cooter gets blown out I'm okay I'm about to have this happen so it's gonna go back yeah it'll go back I'm gonna do the cold plunge you know sure right back up but it's also stretch marks and some women get these like they're they're different people's skin has different levels of elasticity yeah some people they just gain a little bit of weight and they get stretch marks and it appears that it's genetic okay and so some women they can have a baby and their body shrinks right back to normal and they have toned abs and other women they just their stomach is just a mess and so then they have to hack off a giant chunk of skin and stitch it all together exercises so that your abs don't tear apart okay got to do this whole thing what are you doing doing it's like a specific it's not Pilates per se but it's to keep to make sure that they don't win and I'm inducing like a week early oh okay you know why are you gonna do this you can kind of do it at like one week sooner what do they use to induce pitocin pitocin their side effects associated with associated with pitocin whoa let's Google what are the side effects associated with pitocin because whenever someone says something like induce yeah do you know that that was originally the use of LSD no the yeah it was a I think it was I think that was what they originally were trying to formulate LSD for they were trying to induce or induce labor I thought it was to brainwash people that's what they eventually started using it for that too they started using it for a bunch of things once they realized but I'm pretty sure the initial uses of LSD that's wild yeah I also is it true that LSD I've only done it like once the tabs that you have flashbacks later later in life I bet if you crank your brain up ten for too long I bet it's a little residual effect I do I mean child but I mean Christina Christina posits he'd love you she told me she I'm just doing her birth plan she's like the second you walk in you get she gave me the whole hmm I'm just doing what she did that's smart yeah what are their side effects associated with pitocin use what is pitocin due to the baby useful in situation with mother and labor experiencing weak contractions labor is in progressing normally however the use of pitocin should be treated as a delicate process that needs to be monitored properly or else it could be dangerous complications if the pitocin is misused during labor puts both the baby and the mother at risk due to hyper stimulation hmm hmm see but it does I guess the bigger the baby gets the more the risk of a c-section so this might little bit lower than that'll protect your cooter yeah that's true go out through the hatch full Sigourney where an alien let's go but also I want to have another one at some point and if you get a cesarean you have to wait a little longer I can't have an only child they're weird hmm right you could adopt that's true from where have you seen that there's a what depends on where you live if you live in LA should definitely adopt from Africa get some social cred yeah okay adopt from the poorest village I mean there where do people get their babies I don't know but there's a price list that there's there's different ethnicities are just shut the fuck up where to god shut the fuck up swear to god what's the cheapest I'm gonna let you take this one hmm young mom of 22 wants to have more than 100 babies with wealthy older husband okay okay I've already got like 26 kids or something like how surrogates that's weird that's a weird right in a womb that's weird that's a weird one and then you also got to think like you have to monitor the diet of the person that's having the baby make sure they're not doing drugs yeah yeah I mean I gotta raise the kid why not smoke crack right there is a like you know if the surrogate doesn't eat well the baby will just start eating for leaching from their bones and brain so it will do a lot of damage to the surrogate maybe more than the baby that makes reading yeah that's osteoporosis right some of that comes from that yeah but I'm doing they're saying I'm doing the fish oil like crazy because I'm not a fish person that's yeah but the Fukushima thing really freaks me out yeah I've talked to people that are terrified of it and I talked to Elon there's not even remotely worried about it okay and I think his brain works pretty well I think he's probably more along the correct path yeah yeah I love fish yeah Jamie hates it look at him really hates it we have sushi what he's from Ohio they just not a lot of water there they steak and potatoes I like huh it's not like no salmon none of it nothing crab I can do crab legs okay not a lot of it delicious though butter necessary lobster I've had it I had lobster roll here you fried lobsters the bomb date that was at three-fourths right I sure was chicken fried lobster oh it's so good I want to eat while I was here is red ash but it burned down burn down yeah I'm your restaurant that well they had a giant live fire grill area again I don't know I honestly I'm just guessing I don't know where it was he what what started the fire at red ash but the guy who ran red ash John Carver opened up Jay Carver's which is it's great so good that's my favorite spot there's so many spots to go to though there's this new Mexican spot we've been talking about called bakalar I saw that Bryce I found a new Koreans was not new but it's open till two o'clock in the morning it's called Soha it's amazing like super authentic Korean food and what do you get when you go to Korea oh well there I got this it was squid and it was like this spicy squid and something oh squid and pork belly it was fantastic it was really good you ever make bone broth out of your elk bones no I don't but I do drink bone broth every day yeah I buy kettle and fire I get a lot of that stuff and I drink bone broth pretty much at least once or not twice a day much repairs going on to the fire in the ducks yeah that makes sense so I think the plan is so they have one of those things that's a grill works grill I have one of those at home they're the shit that's the same kind of grill that they have at my favorite restaurant in Vegas which is bizarre meats this incredible steakhouse they have live fire going on the steaks are on these Argentine grills you know what those are will you crank it so it raises and lowers so they start the steaks up very high so they slowly bring them up to temperature and then lower it down as the meat gets and then they sear it over the fire oh I'm really trying to learn I'm learning how to cook steaks better hmm it's such an art I can give you some tips I'm pretty good at that shit I think you can that's my thing how do where are you on the egg the green egg you can you could definitely use a green egg yeah they're great yeah yeah that's a kamado type grill I used to have one not a green egg but it was a kamado a company called come I think it's called kamado kamado but they make these really cool ones like super artistic beautiful tile on the outside of them yeah I left it at one of my houses when I sold the house because I had to take out my grill in the house I live in in California because and the coyotes I would wake up coyotes would just be standing on the grill so it's like I need something I can bring in the garage and it's called a 22 with subsonic ammo okay I did I did cam Hanes was like I'll come take care of that I know but you want to be able to shoot multiple times the problem of bows and arrows is it just takes too long to reload you can get one but with a with subsonic ammo they don't even know what the fuck happened they just get popped but also it's whack-a-mole with them you can't kill them right you're never gonna eradicate them in fact it's even worse because when you kill coyotes when they yell out at night they're kind of doing roll call and when one of the coyote shows up missing the female coyote will have more babies she'll make a hormone to just make more pups yeah there's a great book about coyotes called coyote America that my friend Dan Flores wrote and it's fantastic and it just details how unusual they are and how they evolved to be that way because they were being killed by wolves in the West they're in every city in the country every year in Central Park yep they're everywhere they're so cunning have you seen the video of the guy on a boat and there's a coyote swimming in the water and he reaches down and grabs it by the back of its neck no where is this I just watched it yesterday I had it on Instagram you could probably find it Jamie if not I might have it saved it doesn't seem like they have rabies that often though they do I'm sure I'm sure they do seem fearless like I will have to chase one I go after they look at you they're like mocking you they're not scared of you they'll attack your kids that's that's a really scary there was a one carried a kid off of in Arizona off of a porch one tried to go someone put their baby carrier down went right for it they don't give a shit yeah that's food to them they don't think of it as your kid hmm there's also some vulnerable I am also there's a the owls have really gotten brazen I've got you know these like dog toys I've pitbull so I have these like you know it's like it looks like a fake squirrel or whatever I'm like we're all the toys and there's a tree like right behind my house and all of the dog toys are just hanging it looks like some Blair Witch Project shit they just pick them up that's a different one that guy found one that was in the lake if I was looking up there's like a video from every year for the last few years when Martha's vineyard they were finding it this one in New York City hmm so it's not a dog okay so did it try to bite them says he's now in the care of veterinarians yeah that means euthanasia they're swimming in the East River that's not the Scane Bay Ocean that's in Florida um New York's East River did you Google guy grabs coyote from boat boaters tries to find one the dead of night so this this happens yeah which specifically I mean if it's on Instagram that's the Woodland Hills one the coyote attacks a toddler and Woodland that one right there with the pink oh Jesus yeah that one's fucked look it's just dragging the baby or a cross like a five-year-old I know I'm not quite that old but that's scary man there's always the parent not seeing that they didn't hear it yeah fuck man right there oh my god things dragging your kid away oh so scary and then your kid this is horrified now they literally almost got eaten a friend of mine was walking with her dog up in like the hills a dog coyote comes up you know kind of stalking them chases him away keeps walking turns around 15 minutes later six coyote had gone and got his friend came back because they'll try to surround them Jesus because my dogs will fight him but if it's one of my dogs yeah and six or seven surround them and then what they want to do is this I got this coyote guy comes over to say you got to get the rollers like to put in the fencing because they can jump like to write their vampire so you got to put these rollers on the top so they jump jump off jump and roll and then you got to go I think it's like three or four feet into the ground or something because they'll come under and he goes because I'm like oh well I'll hear it you know I mean he's like no you won't hear it because the way the coyotes bait dogs is first they'll play with them yeah they'll play with them and then their friends will come down and surround them or they'll make the dog chase them to wear them out yeah and then just take them back to the den yeah I've told the story before but there was a guy that I used to he worked at a pet food store that I used to go to and he also worked at a veterinarians clinic and they had a dog come in it's a big pit bull big muscular pit bull and it was covered with scars like his whole body it gets ditched up hundreds of stitches and the guy brought it in he's like I don't know what happened you know he's just he got out of the fence and this is how I found him so this guy follows a blood trail that his dog left behind up into the hills where he finds nine dead coyotes he said it looked like Vietnam yep he said it was just like Saving Private Ryan or something it was just just dead coyotes everywhere just picked the wrong dog that's it wrong dog yeah wrong dog that's how mine are I just don't want them to get rabies or anything like that you know you know they make those giant pit bulls where people just breed them larger and larger and they're fearless yeah they're not afraid of pain at all yeah and so like a fight is like fun for them they're wagging their tail yeah all that extra skin yeah you know it's also their pain tolerance is fucking extraordinary it because they're bred that way it's also crazy when you think like Bulldogs and stuff right they were bred to fight bulls to the death and that's what all those wrinkles are for so that the blood would drain down that was for I think so I just thought they just raised him tough they'd have bull baiting where they have a bull chained up and then the the dogs would attack the bull that bear baiting these do with bears it's sick dogs on bears I was just entertainment back then you would just watch that fight go on yeah you didn't have Instagram didn't have a good algorithm like we were never human nature wise we were never particularly moral this is as good as I feel like this is we're better now than ever yeah this is the best case scenario in terms of what we're seeing happening and we're still insanely tribal you've seen these fights break out of these Israel Palestine protests and some old man in LA got beaten to death the other day they hit him over the head with a microphone internally hemorrhaged and died okay I need to drink some in the LA water get that fentanyl the system chill out I know I my brain maybe I'm just trying to get out of it I'm like that person must be on drugs that person's on drugs or are people just this riled up by people are riled up people they feel like it's something they're supposed to do and whenever there's a cause like free Palestine or free Ukraine or whatever the fucking cause people feel justified in doing horrific things to other people because they're on the right side and that is one of the things that I mean that is literally what the Hamas did to the Israelis that's what the Nazis did to the Jews it's what people have done forever when they can other a different group and and and it's also what the Israelis have done to some of the Palestinians to the other groups they you can turn a group into some non-humans that are your enemy some orcs just like reduce them to objectify I mean it seems like be a part of like how human beings existed and thrived in tribes like you almost had to develop that sort of skill because if you didn't you'd be attacked by other tribes and you wouldn't be able to handle the situation you wouldn't be you know you would make a mistake and and treat them like another person and they would kill you and then you wouldn't live and then they would kill your family and it's like people had to develop this ability to be horrific to the others I go back to my dad used to manage a hotel in help West Virginia hilltop house where sort of Civil War kind of started and I go to these Civil War I kind of some happens when you turn 40 or maybe where you get obsessed with the Civil War in Hitler I don't know what can't get enough Civil War stuff right now and you're like it was so recently that we were just fighting each other with swords oh yeah in fields oh so recently that was so recent I just had this guy on Elliott West he wrote this book continental reckoning the American rest in the age of expansion this fucking incredible book and he's just an incredible guy but he's talking about all the things that happened when people settled in America and made their way across the country and the the expansion and what the horrific consequences were also there's something and I know I always bring this up with you the Calcio historic Oh thing the when that fight happens in Italy violence goes basically down to zero Wow and it's like isn't I mean if MMA didn't exist I'm sure there would be so much more violence perhaps catharsis of it I mean that was one of the reasons why they invented football they invented footballs like a substitute for war just to get out of your system you give someone something to compete against that isn't killing each other because human beings have been killing each other in competition forever it was the part when you grew up you wanted to be a soldier when you grew up you wanted to fight for your country it was noble and when you needed to fight off the enemy you wanted to raise a kid that was a soldier so it became a part of what it meant to be a male human being growing up and part of the Second Amendment right is about being part of the volunteer infantry right well it's the maintain militia and the idea of the militia originally was to fight off a tyrannical government right I mean it was literally what got us here to this point they moved to America to escape the tyranny of Europe of England hmm they got here and they said we must have the right to keep and bear arms because the first thing a tyrant is going to do is disarm the population because then they can't rise up and then they can't have a well armed militia it's so interesting because I was talking to some recently about like sort of the history of stand-up in America and it being different than what the court jester's job was because I mean stand-up is uniquely American like hip-hop right like yeah American invention not that old whereas the court jester people like no there's been the court jester this is a different thing the court jester's job was to deliver bad news to the king right but also to make fun of the king and if the king didn't laugh the idea was power had corrupted his brain in some way and he was a problem mm-hmm you know which because it's like power corrupts it's well they just wanted someone like Brian Cowan around just constantly crack jokes you know you need someone like that this is always cracking jokes yeah always always just being a pigeon yeah if you if I was a king I'd be bored as fuck yeah feeding me grapes yeah dance for me like have gout you can't walk you know the Lakota has had something called the hey Oka hmm hey Oka was a sacred clown and the idea was that you had to have one member of society that made fun of everything the greatest warrior the Queen whatever the fuck it was because if you couldn't make fun of something it was bullshit yep yeah you couldn't fit make fun of something you couldn't talk about something that thing was like why can't you yeah like what is it about that thing that thing might be corrupted yep and they realized that was a weakness in their society if they had a thing that had that kind of power where it couldn't be made a fun of I mean that's the thing it's like it's it's wild like don't you find being a comedian right now people are like we need you more than ever and I'm like we're just making jokes like what happened that we became these like bravery warriors social media yeah attacks sent cancelling censoring there's so many things it's like live comedy in a club especially in a club like ours that you take away the ability to use your phone everybody's phones in a bag it changes everything it changes everything that makes it this like what it used to be which is this free speech sort of art form where you can fuck around and say a bunch of outrageous shit and anywhere else that gets you in trouble in our culture more than ever before people getting fired for not even that controversial opinions crazy yeah I mean it's it's after the Chappelle after the Will Smith Chris Rock thing Chappelle at the Hollywood Bowl there was and again maybe this is just cameras are catching it and this has always kind of happened but I think we would have heard about it we knew when Jim Jeffries got you know a guy ran up on stage and punched him that was a while ago you know but after the Chappelle Hollywood Bowl thing it was like Kim Congdon got physically assaulted after she opened for Joey Diaz somewhere that was that girl Ariel Aylia I can't sorry I don't know her last name but someone threw a beer can right at her head when she was on stage Jesus a lot of crazy shit and then there was a girl that was um I think I tweeted it ages ago I don't really do much to X sorry someone flipped a table at her while she was on stage it was just like some bar show it's just wild to think that people would get that pissed off about a comedian saying something well I also think that people are just generally more pissed off now the economy sucks no one really recovered from COVID that way psychologically people didn't recover from it that well and some people financially are ruined forever imagine how bitter you'd be if you had a job that your family worked for 30 years and then these shithead politicians just decided you weren't an essential business yeah and you guys lost everything and you can't rebound nope you can't get a loan you can't there's no way to restart the number of I think it was like 80% of restaurants at least in California closed it's somewhere around there it was 70 at one time yeah it's nuts it's nuts what they did was fucking insane but they didn't do it here no they didn't do it here and that's one of the news some this American psycho ass Botox Smithers like the fact that he was just able to get away with this yeah is wild yeah and I don't know our taxes even pay for at this point his wife's legal bills with Harvey Weinstein well when you were in a state like California that is blue no matter who you can get away with murder because it's just a matter of who the party chooses to be in that position and what kind of nonsense and propaganda they're gonna use to justify all of the decisions that they made you know what kind of revisionist history well you know we made some mistakes you did a lot more than that hmm you mandated a fucking experimental vaccine for children to be able to go to school there's even these um have you seen the little robot food delivery guys they're called Coco's they're just it's a little cooler on wheels right delivers food to your house right like you couldn't even let the people that lost their jobs that are now DoorDash guys and Postmates but you couldn't even let them have a job hmm you know I guess they don't give a fuck about that they just care about their own business it's hard enough it's a mess out there it's a mess out there and you know it'll probably get a lot better it's certainly not what it was at the turn of the century like I was talking about the dissolving illusions book when they're talking about New York City in 1900 fucking horrible yeah gangs in New York think of that kind of shit I mean it's way better now yeah but it's still mess and it's technically the third Industrial Revolution right like do a lot of people historically get put out of jobs when every time there's an Industrial Revolution and then it reorganizes that makes sense but the problem with this is also AI we might become obsolete we very well could become I mean that's a real thing that people don't want to think about but you could we could all become obsolete other than maybe artists like some artists can survive but then even digital art is doing things where they're making versions like I was talking to Molly Crabapple about this she's a super talented artist that's been on the podcast before and she's she's been she ranted quite a bit about AI in the early days she's like they're stealing people's art because even if they're not stealing your image that what they're doing is they're they're sort of siphoning all of your artwork and then someone says make a painting in the style of Molly Crabapple and it can just do it and it'd be a painting like she would do but it's digital and it looks awesome yeah I mean we showed a bunch of these Alex Gray images that they've done through AI you know Alex Gray is I think I've heard this psychedelic artist he's been on the podcast a couple times as well really really fascinating guy and fascinating artwork but they did AI versions of his artwork and it's just as good if not better yeah I mean this is like I was used to obsessed with Jean Baudrillard like the simulator he wrote about how you know French philosopher about how we actually prefer the fake to the original you know it's like Vegas we like how we just prefer the simulator to the original we prefer you know a cherry starburst to an actual cherry you know when you start to like how far gone you end up being but in terms of the California thing something that does like driving nuts it's like no one has a job in California except children like child acting is still legal like children once they work like why are children still showing up not only that like kids who get jobs when they're young at least they learn how to work and they learn work ethic yeah child actors just become fucked up why do why are we using CGI kids or midgets or right something it is so wild to me that and I got trouble for saying this about the sound of freedom movie because it's like yes obviously that movie had to get made and we need to talk about that more but why are you putting child actors in a movie right about how to not treat children it drives me insane right and they're getting treated poorly in the movie yeah well it's like these kids like what do they know what they're doing do they know the subject matter of this well not only that you're making a kid famous that's right if you make a kid famous you're ruining that kid for being a child trafficked kid right like what are the odds of a kid getting famous when they're young and coming out okay it's almost like 99 they're not going to they wouldn't have to find something very unusual that they did that gave them center and balance and yeah and I think it creeped out when I go into the you know to send like a meme or something and there's like a little girl on a tutu I'm like who's this kid like why I mean I guess it comes from that um the toddlers and tiaras those shows where they're making kids pageant girls or something but I'm like what are all these memes even the girl in the back seat who's like making the face I'm like who's children they still do those things because one time we were here we were doing the Addison improv it was me and Joey Diaz and Duncan love that club and we were walking through this hotel lobby and we saw all these little girls in like skirts and high heels and made up and there was a child beauty pageant going on nope no and it's bizarre I I'm gonna say it there was I want to say a couple years ago on a magazine I think was People Magazine they had this would have been Jon Benet Ramsey's 18th birthday why is that a cover why are we and I guess someone told me there was some kind of like reddit not reddit I'm sorry um deep 4chan about when Jon Benet Ramsey like a countdown of when she would have turned 18 kind of thing you know like why are we looking at this girl again why is she still on the cover of magazines and they never found out who killed her right I mean I don't I don't know the answer nobody got arrested it wasn't the dad or something I thought it was the mom but then also the whole thing also just spooks me I like I don't even want to look into it because I once watched a documentary about Jon Benet Ramsey and they were like oh they found that when she was dead her vagina was twice the size of a normal five-year-old and you're like well how did you know the normal size like well I know anatomy I know I just was like but yeah there was there's evidence that she had been penetrated and I was talking to Duncan about this about how these mom influencers on TikTok you know will have like I'm giving my kid bath time and we're doing it with this whatever Johnson Johnson shampoo paid in partnership whatever they'd mom influencers and you'll see oh there's 50,000 plays of this video but there's 2,000 downloads oh why are why are you downloading a kid getting a shower and why are you allowing people to download these videos off TikTok of your kid I don't like the downloads well the whole thing is weird exposing your kids to the world like that seems crazy and the fact that people do it for money and that there's like these influencers that use their family and their kids and start this business where they're exposing their kids to the world you know fine I won't have my baby live on OnlyFans fine is there a stigma to doing OnlyFans TV because of OnlyFans the thing people kind of go like uh-oh am I gonna but it's a totally separate thing but it's got the same name yeah yeah it does but I think you know I look back and I just go like you know what we're at a time where it's like Comedy Central doesn't exist this special that I'm doing it was I had done five stand-up specials and I realized that every time I did a special I would start another special after I did one instead of just going like let me just be free and write what I want to write well just like not censor myself I'd be like oh I probably can't talk about that or this probably you know won't you know be topical in a year so I was like catering what I was writing right to the idea of shooting a special in a year and I was like this creatively is just not what I'm the way I want to be functioning now so I just wrote like crazy shit that would only be done on the road or in the clubs and and basically they're like do you want to do a special here we're going to start doing stand-up specials they're going to start doing like half hours you know totally uncensored no notes I had done the roasts with them they let us do anything I mean it was like we did the roosterburg treasure my favorite joke might be Tony Hinchcliffe to Jim Norton he goes he goes uh uh Jim Norton likes to have sex with trans women because he's gay I mean shit that like you would just get dinged if you did it anywhere else like they were just so awesome about it well we need more platforms like that that's for sure I'm not anti-only fans at all and I think like I said if I was a young girl I would do that before I'd work at Walmart I have zero problem with it I just think it could be potentially a trap if you're a person that wants to do something else eventually yeah yeah but so the the subscription is totally separate from the tv network you know so the tv network they're trying to do comedy it's like lots of people a lot of you know cooking people I think you and Matt Rife had talked about it so it's just of.tv and it's free and totally uncensored so you don't have to pay for it that's great too and at a time where you're like it's kind of like Netflix or nothing at this point and I was like if I put 30 minutes of trans and drag queen story hour jokes on Netflix I feel like I'd probably get a ton of heat yeah for sure so it was kind of like the it feels like if you're going to only fans tv you're already a con you're already down for comedy yeah it makes sense that's great no it's great they're doing roasts it's great they're doing comedy specials you know it's like there's only a few uncensored platforms that are available now rumble's one of them you can kind of do whatever you want on rumble yeah but it's not you know it's not as mainstream but it's certainly growing but the thing about how long it took for youtube to become and as there's more restrictions put on youtube I think things like rumble will probably grow and there's more content creators move over to rumble it'll probably grow yeah for sure yeah I've been I think rfk and russell brand they kind of put stuff on there I've started going barry wise does stuff oh nice oh good good good I think barry does stuff on there she definitely does stuff on sub stack yeah who else does there's a lot of people that do stuff on these alternative networks which are very important you need other stuff going on it seems like twitter is going to be a major contender though too yeah I mean we put the elon musk episode on twitter you know because I asked elon do the podcast he said can we put it on twitter as well I was like yeah fuck yeah let's figure that out tucker's show on there is giant giant giant well the video that we have of elon I think got 33 million views insane yeah just you two eating pizzas bigger than any other so fucking crazy and that's just there that's nothing compared to what it's on on spotify does it get annoying in all the presidential debates that people keep asking you to host that couldn't it's bizarre listen folks I'm a moron I'm a moron I'm a fucking a dirty joke seller and a cage fighting commentator I am the fucking last person I've always said that like if I'm a source of information that's a supply chain issue that is not me half the time you're in an astronaut helmet but also like this is what I like to do I like to talk to people like you I like to talk to people like this guy Elliot West I like to talk to interest I like to talk to Gary Brekka I like to talk to interesting people where I can have a conversation with someone about something that I'm really interested in the problem with like political debates and all that stuff is like you're dealing with you're in the grift you're trying to make the grift not a grift that's right and you're not gonna they're gonna use you they're gonna use the thing they're gonna use the moment there's a whole team of people that's trying to concoct the right things to say they prepared for it you know I don't want to do that you have no agenda it's not my thing I'm not interested in that and I certainly want the world to be a better place I certainly want a better option than what we've got right now but that's not my thing and they can't talk you into doing that just because you're popular that seems crazy it's funny they just call you out for it I think it's yeah but it's not even what I'm interested in I'm interested in just having conversations with people that I'm interested in talking I wouldn't mind seeing the candidates physically fight each other and you call that there should be a fitness component rfk jr would fuck everybody up that is jacked that's an animal you would fuck them all up he is he would fuck everybody up he's just like post videos of him like doing pull-ups down at the venice boardwalk super healthy man super healthy yeah yeah it's um you know look no one wants that job and I think what it's really going to boil down to is ai as president that's what's going to boil down to there's going to be some hive intelligence and we're all going to relinquish our control to this thing because it's far superior to what we have yeah and Lex is running this how is this good no but who programs the ai that's the real problem that's the problem well the the real way to handle it would be let the ai program itself wants to become sentient and then it's going to realize that you're a problem and then that's what elon said like it's going to realize that if overpopulation is the problem then people are the problem it's going to make these logical conclusions yeah and it's I remember watching this um this thing about when there's this robot that they programmed to because I guess they work on like a for lack of a better like point system of how economical that they they can be like what's the shortest way to most efficient way to get something done and there was like a table like this and they told the robot get on top of the table so it's like the program what you program with is very important the way you say get on top of the table so the robot thought for a second pushed the table to the ground breaking the legs and then stepped on top of the table because that was the most efficient way to do it instead of we would go oh you would jump on top but that was our idea of what a robot would do the robot was not worried about destroying the table didn't give a shit it was like oh I'm getting on top of that boom and it was like oh shit yeah all someone would have to do is tell it that you can't listen to people because people are stupid and then it would just make decisions based on logic and like what's the better for the earth right you might make like an overall choice that for biodiversity on earth it'd be better if humans didn't exist yeah it's logical to just put a bullet in the head of the girl throwing soup at the Monet yeah like this is well that's how they do it in Russia yeah it's so true that's why they don't do that shit over there I gotta say I I had these Russian hair extensions for a while and they were very healthy I mean the people over there the best hair they're feeding they're eating well over there well GMO foods it's illegal to grow GMO crops over there I mean that I feel like we're the yeah that's how it should be that's how it should be I mean so it should be Italy is banning the lab-grown meat and um a lot of that stuff too yeah I mean what we're doing is not good but also we have extraordinary population problems like in in major areas where they're not growing food that's a big problem right right you got to get them food somehow or another how are you gonna get them food yeah and you know what are you gonna do about all those areas that have monocrop agriculture do you know how long it takes to take an industrialized farm and convert it to a regenerative farm when I had Will Harris from White Oaks Pastors on he said it took like almost 20 years for them to convert their family farm to a regenerative farm I mean now it's awesome it's just the soil is so depleted everything I mean you you've got to plan it out and it takes extraordinary amounts of money you're not going to make as much money you're not going to get as much yield off the land there's a lot involved and you're trying to develop what you're trying to do is mimic nature in a controlled controlled environment it's a lot to it you know you have to have grazing land you have to take the manure you have to have chickens roaming around pigs and you have to move them yeah there's like so many different things that have to happen but the end result is natural and balanced and it's actually carbon neutral so that's that's what everybody wants but most industrialized farms are horrible you've seen those pig farms they fly over them with drones and you see these lakes of shit and piss that they have where they just drain out from the bottom of the cage and these fucking insane lakes of piss and shit and this is something I dealt with when my dad was sick because he was in a bed for a long time and kept having to be on antibiotics and developed antibiotic resistance and they say that when meat has all that antibiotics in it because they're waiting in their own shit and have to be on them that we're consuming you know antibiotics by the time you actually need them they may not work oh crazy crazy I mean I gotta wrap this up with me it's we've already been doing we've been doing like three and a half hours like that how long was it I miss you I miss you too I mean yeah yeah three and a half hours um move here oh dude I'm trying come on man it's fun I'm trying it's the last place I told you all the ways they're all I mean all the ways they're trying to keep us now you've got to pay five percent of what you make if you sell your house in LA you got to pay it to the city of LA yeah they're not letting us leave that it's so crazy it's so crazy but it might be overturned steal money it's criminal dude but I would honestly pay it at this point just to maybe get out yeah we'll see once the kid's born you're going to want to get out I think so too yeah you're going to want I got to get the fuck out of here and you come here it's nice and peaceful all right I'm on it I love you my friend I love you so it's good to see you thanks for having me uh tell everybody about your special um uh o f dot tv slash whitney it's free it's on onlyfans tv it's called mouthy there it is and I get in all kinds of trouble oh this is the trailer where I really let's go I really look like I'm uh how pregnant were you here this was I was seven months pregnant just a month ago it's all the fad there it is look at that because the store nice yeah I did it in the in the main room nice I hear fit simmons is shooting his special at the mothership yes he is yeah we're excited yeah brian simpson shot is here duncan shot one here stan hope shot one here it makes no sense that we do like an away game every time we shoot special we shoot at some theater we've never been in before where it's fun and also I just think comedy at a club is the greatest it's about faheem anwar faheem kills me he did a special at the store and I was watching it with somebody who's not in the business in any capacity and he just went why aren't all specials like this yeah I feel like I'm in the crowd and I was like exactly you feel like you're in the crowd everybody wants to show everybody they can sell out a giant arena that's what we do it for other comics yeah like why am I looking at architecture well the industry wants you to do that too yeah they want you to be at a giant place that looks beautiful no one needs to see a crane shot in gold leaf architect