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Ian Edwards is a stand up comedian and also hosts his own podcast called “Soccer Comic Rant" available on Spotify. His new special "Bill Burr presents Ian Talk: Ideas Not Worth Spreading" premieres July 12 on Comedy Central.
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This is as good a spot as I need to talk about this. I want to make sure I clarify something because there was an operation, this is a guy who was a billionaire diamond guy who wound up getting a dick enlargement operation and he died because of the anesthesia. And it was in another country. We pulled out, we were saying somehow or another it got connected to this company that does that in the United States. It had not the, Phenuma? Yeah, the article I had said like he was getting a similar surgery and that this one, the one only, the Phenuma only happens in the US but he was getting something done in Europe so it was like different. Well they reached out to me to explain. First of all, the guy died from anesthesia. You can get anesthesia, you could die from anesthesia from any operation. It had nothing to do with the penis enlargement operation, to use the more correct term, dick enlargement. But he didn't die from that and that's just as safe as getting your nose fixed or getting your knee meniscus operated on. It's just any surgery where you have anesthesia carries a certain amount of risk. But apparently this dick thing works. They actually can grow your dick bigger now. Well if you're risking your life, it better work. Well you're risking your life if you go to the dentist. Yeah, I almost. Which you under, like any time you get put under, right? Anything you're doing with anesthesia, there's a very small chance that something could go wrong but it had nothing to do with this dick operation so I just wanted to make sure that people know that if you look this up, I don't want anything, any incorrect assumptions to be out there and I carry no ill will towards these people that make this and apparently it works. So I just want everybody to know that. Yeah, it's carrying no ill will towards this company that makes dicks bigger. It's a weird thing, right? For a man to do that, there's certain taboos that are involved in even admitting that you have an issue. A little dick is a weird thing because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you can make fun of. You can't make fun of a little person. If you make fun of a person who's a, you know, you're not supposed to call them midgets, you're supposed to call them little people. You make fun of a person who's a dwarf or a little person. You're a cruel person. But if you make fun of a guy with a little dick, like somehow or another. Sometimes he deserves it or some shit. That's a weird thing that women are allowed to do. Like you're allowed to make fun of dudes having little dicks. There should be something in the same vein, yes, to protect little dick people from cruelty. Because if you have a little pussy, that's fantastic. Everybody's excited about that. Isn't that crazy? What a weird situation. But a big dick is a sign of virility. So we salute you, Penuma. That's the name of the company. We salute you for helping men achieve larger dicks.