When Body Modification Goes Too Far...

Speedos don't seem like a comfort move. Not at all. Seems like a bad decision. Yeah. I mean, it's not someone who really wants their dick to be caressed and cradled. Speedos are like you're punishing your dick. Like you're fucking... It's like you're... It's like a tent in a storm. You're nailing it down. Punishing it or showing it off. Right. Yeah. You've got a hog. Yeah. Instead of getting a penis enlargement by Speedos. Yeah, just put a... Just take your circumcised dick and pull it all the way down so it's a full erection. Amen. And then put a ring, a rubber ring around the base of the balls to contract all the blood. Constrict all the blood. Yeah. That's a weird thing that someone figured that out, right? Cock rings. Yeah. How do I stay hard here? It's gotta be a way. Put a rubber band in the face of your dick. Free fire grill. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. That's one thing that if they do ever come out... I used to have a bit about that. If they ever come out with a pill for how to... Like a boner or a dick enlargement pill that actually works. It'd be 30 seconds later the first dude would die of an overdose. Oh yeah. Did you not just take one? You're gonna find out how many give me a stroke. How big did you want it? Jesus Christ. Yeah, I had a whole... There was a whole sequence where women would evolve because people would still have sex but the dicks would get bigger and then they would develop these flying squirrel pussies where they would just jump off cliffs to get away from dudes who were chasing after them with their big dicks and shopping carts. So hilarious. They'd grow wings. Why women grow wings? Just to fit so people could mate. Yeah. Yeah, if you could grow a big... Have you ever watched a porn and said that's just too much? Yeah. Yeah. It comes at a certain point in time where like how big do you want your arms, right? Yes. Do you want a big arm or do you want an arm where the bicep touches your fingers when you go like this? Right. Oh, you can't even move. Yeah, that's crazy. You can't even move. It's too big. Yeah. Right? That means you can never do this. You can't do anything. You can't do anything like this. No, yeah, you probably can't even walk. Yeah. You're just too heavy. You probably waddle whenever you go. You weigh 600 pounds and you're 5'8". How the fuck are you doing that, right? There's too much. You can get too much. Yeah. You can get too much dick. But I bet it's like... You can get too much dick. I bet it's like those girls who get body dysmorphia with their breast size. Oh, yes. Some girls go crazy. Like they have triple E's and they need them an F. They get nuts. That's crazy. They don't see it like the way you're saying it. That's how it happens with anorexics, bodybuilders. Yeah. Yeah. That is goddamn bananas. It is. The dick thing is a weird one, right? Yeah, that would definitely... It's definitely gonna happen since women overdo it with their breast size. And like you say, they can't see how weird it looks. Yeah, it's a normal thing with humans. Yeah. Have you seen those guys that inject their muscles with oil and it makes their muscles swell up like balloons? It looks so fake, but they don't see it. It's body dysmorphia. It's the same thing that an anorexic gets when they don't recognize that they look like a skeleton. When we was at the airport in Vegas and we were waiting for your pool thing, there was this chick and she had like a weird butt. Poor girl. And it wasn't real. And you could tell only she didn't know that it didn't look real. She probably thought it looked amazing, right? Yeah, she was walking around with like pure confidence. But in everybody now, look at that bitch. Yeah. People get strange because the butt thing is treated differently than the boob thing. Like a woman with really large fake breasts is still hot. Yes. But a woman with really large fake butts, like, come on. Yeah, that comes off crazier. Yeah. Yes. And fake lips. That's crazy too. Yeah. Yeah, we have rules. It's weird. Yeah, fake lips is like, what am I supposed to do? Just pretend this is not happening in front of me right now. Well, it's also it fucks with your apparently we have when we see a certain person, when we see people's faces, we have an expectation to where things are going to be based on where things are. Right. It's all like the Fibonacci sequence, like the golden ratio, the way your face is designed like like Ari Shafir. If Ari Shafir had a tiny nose, you'd be like, what is wrong with your face? Your face is supposed to have a big nose. This is like how your... That style of face is supposed to come with that style of nose. Yeah. And if it doesn't, it's weird. But then you look at a guy like Greg Fitzsimmons, it has a little nose. You know, if he had Ari's nose, you'd be like, what is that nose doing on your face? This is crazy. It's like you fuck with that when you do something to make something bigger or wider or, you know, with your face. A lot of people get tattoos and different things. Like suppose people start enlarging areas of their face, you just like getting bigger hairs, bigger noses. What if big ears come in the face? Dumbo ears. It's like the new thing. Well, how about those holes where people stretch, they do those gauges and they pull their fucking ear hole out, they put that earring hole at the bottom, make it giant. Yeah. Like a hoop. That's bananas. Yeah. Like, what are you doing to your ears? Yeah. I don't want to fuck up the chance of me not being able to hear some shit. I don't think it does because it's the mold. I don't think it does, but it's just I'm not doing anything personally that's close to anything that I need. I need this for what I need this for. I'm not going to do anything to it that might jeopardize it in any way. I always feel like that about cauliflower ear too. Like go to all the years that I did you just do. I don't have cauliflower ear because I always wore ear guards. Right. If you fuck with the shape of your ear, it fucks with the way sound goes in there. Oh man. Like take your ear and then talk, go blah, blah, blah. Now put your tip, the tips of your fingers on the top of your ear and then fold them down. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. It changes the way sounds are. It changes sound. Like this helps the sound. These are speakers. These are bows. Right. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you're fucking with your bows. You're fucking with your bows. You're just figuring out a shape to collect all that sound and get it inside your ear holes. But when you're outside of your ears like a rock, like a lot of these wrestlers and jujitsu guys, they have, it's all calcified. So that with that cauliflower ear, I don't know if you ever touched a cauliflower ear. It's like a rock under the surface. Like a calcium rock. That's what it's like because the, it's, what it is is the break in the skin, it swells up because it bleeds and then that blood calcifies and hardens. And the only way to fix, my friend Brett had his fixed, um, Brent, um, yeah, Brent, my friend, Brent had to fix it. They had to cut his ear like a fish. They had a filet and then they had to open it up and scrape out all the hard tissue and then sew it back up together. And he couldn't do jujitsu forever because if he did jujitsu again, after the operation, it would break open and start bleeding again. Damn. Yeah. I was looking for a picture where a guy gets this part. I've seen people with a plug and a hole on the inner part here. Oh, I've seen that. Yeah. But this guy took it to a whole fucking spot. Oh my gosh. Oh, is it his nose? Oh my gosh. He eats it. Oh my God. That is insane. But like that definitely fucks with his hearing a hundred percent. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. He's got a giant gauge hole in the bottom and a medium gauge hole in the top and then big ones on his nostrils where his nostrils, he has like the bottom hole where his nostrils are and then above the nostril, he's got two huge holes where you could see the septum. He opened up the side of his nostrils. Quarter size hole easily, right? I can't say that dude's real happy. I just don't see it. I don't understand that look. But hey, what are you going to do?