Joey Diaz's Fungus Moment - JRE Toons

Well the place I go to, which is fucking tremendous, and if you need a massage, you go in, there's some nights I go in on date night with my wife. They fucking put your feet in the buckets, they rub you down, they do your shoulders, your neck. Sometimes, I don't even, I don't even want people rubbing my feet. I got that fucking fungi toenail. I don't want your little fucking Chinese hand on my fungi toenail and just spread it down with the fucking poor people. Oh no. So I said fuck it, let me just go with you. Imagine you were patient zero. What's that? If they're rubbing your feet, then it spreads all these people and they have to fucking trace it back to you. Yeah, yeah, I'm the motherfucker. I got the fungi toenail. I even got the group on to get it blow torched. Really? Because you go up in the valley and the lady comes in and would blow it cold there, like cryotherapy type of hair. And the other chick comes with a blowtorch and they try to blow the fungus away. You got to smell that. You got to smell that. So I did like six appointments where they tried to burn the fungus off. Oh my God, the toenail was on fire. Does it work? Let me show you. No, it spread through the other one now. So now I got the big one and the one next to it, Louie. And he is the ugliest thing in the world. It looks like one of those fucking hooves from an eagle. Every time I go to jujitsu, I try to hide it with a bandaid, but it cuts right through the bandaid. It's horrible. I don't know what else to do. Is there anything you could apply topically or does it have to be a pill? I've done everything. Really? I've done everything. But the best thing I do is I cut it and then I take the grinder and I grind it into like coke powder. You have to smell that powder to believe it. It is so stinky. But I will grind those first two toes. It's like a fucking thing. Oh my God. Like you're sanding your toes. Oh my God. It's a sander that I got the extra rock for. I had my wife go on Amazon and get like the fucking auto body. Pumice stone. Auto body. This is auto body shit. And I just fucking sand that fucking toenail down. It doesn't even have to be a toenail. Oh my God. I said what are you going to do? I don't even know. Jesus Christ.