3 years ago
Chris D'Elia is an actor, writer, and comedian. His new special "Man On Fire" is available now on Netflix, and he also has a podcast called Congratulations available to download via iTunes.
Obama endorsed Biden. I'm sold Are you? Oh, yeah, he's fine now. What's Obama endorsed him? No, you can't remember anything Did you see what a Donald Trump jr. Tweeted? No, or he put it on Instagram that Biden is like a web browser It's no it's a hilarious meme the memes have just begun and here we are It's April but by the time November rolls wrong. I Don't the the the the the bait what is his mind is like a web browser 19 tabs Rofin 17 are frozen He has no idea where the music is coming from This world is just insane the world so straight dude I I tweeted something I was I was like, I don't know if you were gonna get pissed off at this or what but I tweeted Oh great Bernie dropped out now the only thing that needs to happen is Trump and Biden need to drop out and And I was like, I'm like it fucking shit for this but I didn't I can't but I think it's cuz I hit everybody You know, but like dude, it was just like the fact that we have these Options are just I don't know. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm not good politically, but yeah, I'm neither I'm not good politically either, but it's just when you see I just the debate Trump versus Biden it's gonna be a mess We're just gonna be there. What are they talking about? Did you see Trump Trump's press conference yesterday I Watched a bunch of them and I'm like, what am I doing? Like it just he seems like the negative Attention it just finally getting to him. Oh, yeah Oh, I saw the clip where he was like you're nasty or whatever. He was saying you're disgraced to the to the reporter Yeah, he was saying you're fake. You're yeah, he always says the ratings are down. I know things are down. You have no credibility Yeah, that's his his thing is always go after their ratings, which is kind of funny It is funny too because he was tweeting about he was like I'm number one on Facebook People reading that on their phone. Yeah people reading that on their phone as they're dying from Corona I'm number one on Facebook. What is what even is that? Exactly number one on Facebook is like I have the coldest part of the ocean like what? Yes, who's Present is a that's the analogy. How are you measuring that? He said that his kovat 19 his coronavirus reports had higher ratings finale of the bachelor That's so surreal it's like this can't be real life. It's so silly. It can't be real life the one thing about Trump is Whether you like him or not he is funny. Oh, he's a layer. He is funny. He's hilarious. He's a funny guy He might not be fit to be president. You might be one of those you know, but who is I mean you Forget it whether you think he's fit to be president not fit to be president if you deny the fact he's funny We have a problem. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's where I'm at We can argue whether or not he's doing a good job economically or bad job socially But guess what yeah, he's full of laughs that fucking time that he was talking about buying Greenland He goes I promise not to do this and he had a photo of a huge Trump Tower in the middle of Greenland I didn't see that it's really that's funny. It's laugh. Dude. I was dying when he was like What did you see the press conference where he was doing it was like yeah They said I didn't do a good job, but I did a good job And this is the proof and he shows this little piece of paper and he goes like this So, you know that they were lying and he flicks the paper Oh my god, you checked it fucking lunatic lunatic It's not what you would expect right now You expect a person to be like Obama or like Clinton or whoever to be presidential like Bush You don't expect that what I thought but that's what I thought Bush was I thought Bush was the guy that everyone was like Finally a regular guy like me a regular guy and I was like, okay, it'll be a while till that happens again Yeah, and it came back. I mean Trump's like He's like the guy in your family were like, oh he's coming to Thanksgiving like this motherfucker's gonna be talking the whole time And then you find out he's president is Greenland I promise not to do this to Greenland Just one gigantic Trump Tower, this is Trump in the middle of Greenland With the explanation exclamation point. Yes. Come on. That's fucking funny. That's funny He like retweets memes and shit weird Look at the doctor behind him with the show with the shawl just when he does it her face Like what is happening? Look at look at her. Why am I here? Okay. Oh So fun. She's at the same look like as if someone farted and she's not gonna say anything but she smells it like She does and she's always wearing that those capes. She does wear a lot of capes. Yeah