#2128 - Joey Diaz

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Joey Diaz

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Joey Diaz is a stand-up comic and New York Times bestselling author. He's the host of the podcast "Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz," co-host of "The Check-In" with Lee Syatt, and author of "Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage." www.joeydiaz.net

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This is a good way to open up the podcast because Jamie is an expert on all-things-black twitter. Well, what's going on Jamie? I don't know. There's a lot going on. A lot of rumors are flying. The rumors are the Diddy was running some kind of Epstein type deal where he was filming everybody, right? That's the rumors. Yeah, I don't know that there's any proof of anything other than that. The thing is like, we're getting the rumors from the internet. The internet thinks that the Taliban took out that bridge in Baltimore. So it's like, who fucking knows? Who knows what's real? That's what did these lawyers I think said. These are just trumped up charges, not trumped up. I think they said that, but like bullshit charges. Do it in Homeland Security. Invade your house. You got problems with dudes with fucking guns and body armor. There's someone said that they weren't there to take stuff. They were there to delete everything. Like the real people that were in there, you know. Oh, that's funny. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. That's, of course. There's layers upon layers. When you get a, he's fucking conspiracy theories man. They never end. They never end. There's just layers upon layers upon layers. It's fun to talk about. It is fun to talk about. It's hard to know what's true. But why? People genuinely love it when someone like Diddy gets caught though. The glee that people have is weird. Why? Because these two are successful. Also, there's always so much East Coast, West Coast shit that's still in the zeitgeist you know like with big and two-park and they're all hating any church and they both got killed and there was a lot going on and then there's people that thought that Puffy was involved and should night was involved. I think Shirk nights the one who said the thing I just thought of what thing about that they were there to delete [2:02] stuff. Well if he really was filming everybody, let me see. I mean, he had a lot of people at those parties, right? You know who said, Luke from Two Life Crew? Yeah, he said he was to leave early. Yeah. When Luke from Two Life Crew is leaving early, like you got a wild party. What's happening is too fucked up for Luke from two-live crew. Check please. There's so many different stories. Who knows? What are you gonna do? I'm not doing that. We're not involved in I was never Dead East party. I don't even know the motherfucker where I don't want to nobody Telling you nobody telling jokes I told you having fun. That's it. Yeah smoking dope crack on jokes and making people That's it. Everything else is background music and living in LA you have all this shit that's coming on around you [3:00] That's what I you know you have your life and then you have all this shit that goes in and out of your ears All fucking day. And you're like, I just wanted to stand up. You also have those celebrity environments where celebrities all get together and there's so many of them, you know, and these wild parties. And if you got a wild party and P. Diddy puts on that wild party and, you know, he sets everybody up. Like if you were an intelligence agent, you know, like a Jeffrey Epstein type deal, that'd be the way to do it. Big old crazy party, get everybody loose. Get them the Yale. Get them the Yale. Get them the Yale. And everything else. Get them well, everything you need. Get fired up. Get those cameras rolling. now you got everybody under wraps What a twisted web some folks weave You all right over there. Yeah, you got a concentrate that is a skill that I never picked up [4:03] The roll your own skill. Never picked it up. Sometimes you got no choice but to pick it up. Yeah, no I should have. You sit there with refurb, I admire people to do it. When I see a person that can roll a solid joint I'm like that. That's an exceptional person. It's like a person who can play guitar. I'm like oh you took the time. There's a level of skill with it too, so maybe we can roll some nice ones. Oh yeah man. It's like they're done by a machine. I've seen dudes in Instagram driving their car rolling one hand. That's next level. Yeah, that's the next level. That's next level. Charlie Murphy could roll a hell of a blunt. Charlie Murphy's one of those, you know what's all rolls a hell of a bun Lewis Lewis Gomez yeah, go man's rolls a hell of a blunt and he does is the real way He doesn't just split the split and opening up and looking at it He takes the paper out and he makes you know cuts it Like he'll unravel a cigar and then take this to the tobacco paper and cut it and wet it and get it down [5:04] I just want wanna get out. It's like free basin coke. I gotta run it and run it to a side. That's gotta dry. No, just give me the fucking reef. I'd rather, I like smoking blunts, but that's what gave me pneumonia last summer. I started smoking blunts. Yeah, sure enough. It gave you pneumonia? The pneumonia. Really? Do you think it's definitely from that? It was that in the sleep, what was, it was a bunch of shit. What it really was was that an abscess. Oh. And the sleep mask. Oh. I cleaned that motherfucker. I'm obsessed with teenagers. Dog, this was, I'm mouth as I was shooting Kevin. Oh, you had no idea no I'm spitting blood and pasta. Oh my god. Oh, and that's not a feeling sick. Oh We rads. Thank God we rad. I'm fucking. I'm like I'm not gonna make a home I couldn't even drive I got home. I went right to sleep and next day I got up and went right to the doctor [6:01] And that started you know because doctors aren't now they send you to 20 different places so by the time you get there you know what this started with the pneumonia what they saw a fucking thing in my kidney what's that when you have a kidney stones kidney stone yeah they go we gotta start drinking whatever I'm like kidney stones yeah then I went to another doctor and he's like you're not a kidney stone there's something wrong with the bottom of your lung oh and there's a cyst in your heart. Assist. Something that kept growing over the years, like a little boil by one of the vows. Oh, Jesus. All right, then he sent me for another one. Then finally, Eisenberg fucked and sent me to the real deal and he goes, this eliminates everything. When I left there, I thought he was going to say, put in a stint and all this shit. He goes no just aspirin Aspirin. You're gonna go on a baby, you're gonna be aspirin. Really? That's it. He goes your heart's perfect. You're good That's it My calcium score was good, which was very fucking surprising, you know I stopped eating bacon in the mornings. Yeah, I'll come just I do an avocado toast instead [7:08] You know, I rather do avocado toast with an egg and a bowl of fruit. That's good. Yeah, that's much good. You know, I used to eat a cheese omelette with french fries with 10 pieces of bread with butter on it. So that's this works. This works. This works. It's definitely better. Get them healthy fats. How good is that sushi place you went to? Oh my God. You shot out the Yuki hand roll. Jesus Christ. The fucking one, you got up to go to the bathroom is when he dropped my rolls. I'm like, who's this? It was just a fucking junk. And especially now with this new economics that sushi's getting smaller and smaller. It is in all places. This fucking, there was two hunks of fucking don't do it. Yeah, I'm full big They give you big pieces of you key and the guy came from nobo super sweet guy Really nice guys are put together How about fucking I remember we've been coming here since night, and we used to come and we just Called a pop of those yep, and well, there was another place we went [8:01] The Mexican joint papa seat dog. Yeah, that's it it. And that was where we went for three fucking days. Now look what you got here. Yeah. It's like an empire. You guys were talking to Greenland last night about all the different restaurants. And you guys didn't stop. So many people didn't stop. You guys did not. Everybody had a suggestion about this. You asked for a stake here. Eight people raised their hands. Mexican food. Go to that place, that's fusion. There's so many good stake houses in town that people forget. You know, you go, you go, you go, you got Jake Harvers, right? Perry's, Perry's, Bob's, Bob's. There's excitement down there. Three fours, three fours. It's very exciting. You heyday, like 2019, 2018. I gotta be honest with you. I would do my spots and I would have to go to the kitchen and sit in the corner by myself. And I would just watch to think that this was really happening because it was a salt oil, like it was just so much. [9:01] It was celebrities. I remember one night, half of UFC was there. You know, like you look around. There's remember one night, half of UFC was there. Yeah. You know, like you look around, there's a fucking eight guys in the UFC right there and you're like, what the fuck is happening up here? What the fuck all these people, you know, the last two nights I had to leave early. And you go home and you can't sleep. Yeah. Last night when you pecs me, I was awake I got home a fucking eleven I couldn't sleep from every that was writing and fucking thinking and coming on his head and fucking yeah you know it's it's him what stand up does to you at night it's you know you can't not be a fucking early riser with stand up because even if you do it eight o'clock show unless you're a fucking moat you're thinking about that set yeah even when you're eating with your fray ha ha You know where you weren't weak today, even though you did great, that one joke didn't work, you're thinking about how you can make it better. That's what I missed. I didn't miss the planes, I didn't miss the hotels. Right. I missed having four ideas and starting to get on stage [10:00] and trying to connect those four ideas together. When those four ideas get connected together, I'm just saying four ideas, three different primates. Right, right. It's the best feeling. It's better than sex. It's incredible feeling. That's what I missed. Everything else I didn't look at me. Hey, you know, no. Well, there's a relationship with the audience that's so pure, because, you know, they know you, like they really know you. They know you from podcasts, they know you from your bits, they fucking know you. They know you from conversations, they get it. And then they're watching you put together this thing that's really for them. It's for you because you created and you get paid to say it and you get this great feeling that you did it but For a person like a fan like when I was watching you last night as a Like I got to see what you did. They shit that you were doing that I was telling you was killing me, but it's It's a beautiful feeling. It's a great feeling when someone that you really love is really who's really funny. He's got new stuff and they're killing it. [11:07] And it's just like this, this atmosphere. So there's 250 people. We're all sharing this moment. So it's, it's super positive in like all ways. It makes people feel better. They leave that place. They feel better. And so when you know that you can do that, then you get together in the green room afterwards, you're like, ah, this one bit, it's like something missing. It's fucking, there's something clunky about it. It just feels fake. It feels like it's too powerful. I gotta rework it. I gotta rework it. And then you start from scratch, you figure it out. But it's just because you wanna get to that place where the fan, the audience is like, yes! Ah! You hit him with some shit they didn't see coming and oh, or they get to see some shit that maybe you did six months ago, but now it's tight. It's tighter. Yeah, now it's got all these new punchlines and new avenues that you can take it to. The worst is when you three years later, [12:02] and you got a bit and you're like, you know what, I wish I could use that bit now. Right. That bit I did three years ago, fits right in here now, but you know, I can bring it up. People can know I'm doing old jokes. Yeah, but sometimes just shove it in there anyway. Who cares? Just because it fits, it's perfect, it's funny. The whole idea is just be as funny as possible. Yeah, not I can you're always supposed to be coming up with new material for sure, but you know, I don't mind when somebody busts out an old bit Yeah, no, when I got here got a land of 1130 I got my luggage by quarter to twelve. I walked out. When I got that car you should have seen that airport It was alive at midnight. Yeah, fucking tons of people coming into Austin. I mean, I was like, this has changed a lot. This had to be a sleepy fucking hour. Yeah, the whole town. The pandemic changed the whole town. You know, and then a lot of the tech companies moved here too. That was a big part of it. A lot of these young people just didn't want any [13:01] part of San Francisco anymore. They're like, we gotta get the phone out. Who would wanna live there? Who would wanna live there? It's dangerous, it's weird. Elon was saying five of his friends have been assaulted or robbed. Five. You can't lock your car. Yeah, you gotta leave your car when I'm in the trash. Windle won't turn away, because they gotta smash you. How do you live like that? Yeah. You do it. They basically empowered mental patients who are drug addicts to just live on the street and Shit everywhere and harass people and There's no sign that they're turning it around. They don't seem to be turning it around at all except for when Gigi Pink came to town I told them a five-hours a mayor. I'd buy Gigi in Penga condo Like when he's in town, everything's clean. When he came to San Francisco, they moved all the tents, they put up fences so people couldn't put tents back up, they cleaned the streets, and Gavin Newsom was like, well, when you have guests come over, you clean up your house. Like, what? What a crazy gaslighting spin on a [14:02] fact that you could have fixed this the whole time and you chose not to until the dictator comes to town. You know, and my criminal head that I used to move around a lot and I ended up in San Francisco, August of 85. I was in bolder the cops were looking for me and I said, fuck it. Where do I go? I went to the airport and I picked the spot and I go, what's the closest flight here leaving San Francisco? I kept me the San Francisco and I went up there and I went right to the tenderloin job and it was buck wild. I mean for a New York City kid to look at you and go, you gotta be careful down there. I still remember in 1985 that a place called Coffee Runs that was a topless coffee place. Yeah. With the ugliest titties you've ever seen in your fucking life and I mean they were in that place called Coffee Runs, that was a topless coffee place. Yeah. With the ugliest titties. You've ever seen in your fucking life and there, I mean, there were an award winning titties. Saga, they looked like a puppy, was gonna milk on them, but they had that. Yeah. And they were open 24 hours right down the block from me. It was a wild city. It was wild and up the corner with hookers for fucking miles. [15:05] It was wild and up the corner with hookers for fucking miles. It had a stand up scene, but it never had a stand up scene like Boston or New York. No, but it was a good stand up scene. Solid scene. Yeah, like Williams came out of there. Who else? The Patent. We were just talking about it in the Korean girl. She's from San Francisco. Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho. A mother had a bookstore store downstairs or something. Couple funny guys came out of Frisco. That's the comedy festival. Sorry Margaret. The comedy festival really was great. I really did a lot for a lot of... I never went to that one. I did it. I quit. Yeah? Four nights. You know, what am I doing? I'm sleeping on the beach. I'm paying for my own hotel and the judges are comedians from San Francisco. Mmm. And I'm coming in fucking twelfth every night because they don't know me. These guys are coming in first. You know, the judges are hugging and smoking dope. Wait, what year is this? You did. Ninety, sevenish, ninety-eight. I drove home. I went to the commie store [16:06] They let me go up and I went to the house of blues and so I sell your cruise Instead of fucking me I left Thursday night blues used to be this shit the shit we used to go across That's true. You know killer bands fucking unbelievable free. Just walking. Yeah, hey come on over. Yeah, listen It was amazing. I went to see one of my mother's friends that My mother's friends with this Cuban dude Patato Toteco they're huge in Cuba and he was playing that by himself He had to be like 70 Before I forget what is your cousin's band in Cuba that band? Emma Alfonso and me band in Cuba that band. M.A. Alfonso. M.A. M.A. Alfonso. That's a new shit. She was just here. She came down for a lot of put them on the Spotify list. This shit is banging. They can't. She came here for fucking top by Southwest. Really? Yeah. She was in something. My software. How do you say it? How do you spell EME, EMMY, EME, EME, ALF, a Founzo, ALF-O-N-S-O. [17:13] I mean, oh, fuck, God, bam, there it is. Can you believe that's my family up there? The Instagram shot? What's a good song that I should put on the Spotify playlist? That's my family, bro. That's my legitimate fucking family. That guy on the far left is my mother's brother. That's his son that owns La Focca de Riencue but a big club where you go to. That's his sister and that's my aunt. Wow. That dude is 80 years old. He's still a musician, plays Congress. Wow. You know, the whole fucking thing. Emmy lives in... No, Ekki, the guy with the dreads and my cousin. He lives like in fucking Germany, some shit. Really? Yeah, he don't even go to Cuba. He goes to Cuba to pick up a check or something. Is he allowed to go in and out? He's a band member. [18:01] Oh, okay. He says he's part of a band and fucking... Give me a, what a song should I play? Oh my god. How's Keep Your Head Up? No. The one that you really liked that time was the one when she's walking. Which one's that? I forget. All right, let's all screenshot this. I'll come back to it later. I'll put some of them on this bottom. And while I got you can we look at that car. Oh, yeah, Steve Joey in the movie with the Jamaicans. Jamie's Joey screw head. Jamie said he had a 69 Mach 1. I didn't say 69. I didn't know what he said. Mach 1. He said M.A.C. and I'm psyched. That's probably a Mach 1. It's an old muzzle car, right? Yes, sir. I said M.A.C. and I'm like, that's probably a mock one. It's an old muscle car, right? Yes, sir. It's probably. Oh, okay, that's a 70. That's a 70. I like that, Joe. Yeah, it's a nice car. I'll fast. Oh, it's fast as fuck. They handle it shit. But that's a 69, that's the one John Wick had. [19:08] The 70, that's the one John Wick had. The 70, it's not quite as good looking, but still. Great fucking car. I forgot about this scene. Oh, they crushed it with two trucks. Damn it. I forgot the name of this movie, but it's got off. Marked for that. Ehh, screw face. This movie's so bad bad it's really bad And then he kills him then his brother he comes back from life. I'm like, I got it. That's it He kills him and he comes back from the dead screw head screw face or something yet Oh, he lights them on fire. He has to escape. This is so dumb Oh he lights him on fire, he has to escape. This is so dumb. But this is skinny Steven Seagull. These are at least more believable movies until they went completely sideways. All right, he's gonna sneak out. He's gonna get out. The guy with the tractor never crushes him. God damn, Thompson Gr is gotta stop sending me videos. [20:03] Thompson here or something, he's this video, this dude, smushin' somebody with a tractor, runnin' in the tractor right through him. I don't wanna see that shit. I don't wanna see either, but Thompson Gerr thinks I do. Every day we freak each other out. I find the worst shit that I see on Instagram. By the way, Instagram is wild right now. I mean, buck wild with murder and animal attacks and bombs exploding on people and terrorist attacks and riots and it's like you can find everything on Instagram now. And these are accounts that I don't even follow. So they know my brain is a mess. So they're just sending me the most horrible shit. And I just get it all day long. I save one just for you. The only, we could watch it. The only fucking thing that amazes me about Instagram. I don't know what's going on. But if you go to like look this section here, [21:02] we'll break it down for me. The Explorer section. Like this one here. Yeah break it down for me the explore section Yeah, I still can't put together when these women are they hookers are they just showing that first of all some of them might there Look at this one. Yeah, yeah What are they doing babies? They got fake babies so they pull their tits out to breastfeed fake babies So it's like a hack so they could what's that Lincoln bio Yeah, you go in that bio bam, and then there's a it's probably an only fans and Let's see 18 plus yes, we are And then love me it's a different one. Oh, it's a dating. Oh, you're not you're done You have a virus on your computer right now. We need to blow up that computer. We'll take that computer to the range. Fill it full of lead. So they just rope you in. They get lonely lost guys and they see this girl breastfeeding of rubber baby and they don't let me know how Andrew Tate all his money coming in hot bunch of titties [22:06] Lots of titties then they got the other girls that flip the camera around and show that monkey and then show their face And I can't figure out what the fuck that's about I'm like, why are you doing this why did they show their face and they flip it? They show they're underwear monkey and then they flip back and they start talking to you. I'm like, why are they doing that only fans? They're on the way in Monkey and then they flip back and they start talking to you on my mind. Why are they doing that? Only fans. Yeah, they're trying to get you to go to their website or only fans or whatever that website was. It's just a bunch of girls that get hired, I'm sure, I'm guessing, but this is what I imagined. They get hired by an agency or some company and they put a fake name to them and they say Lincoln Bio. You go put a fake name to them and they say Lincoln bio you go to Lincoln the bio and you go to some porn site or you go to some dating site you go to some only fans type site and Lost guys who don't have any money and just or they don't have anybody with them. They're sad. They give up all their cash They get hundreds of thousands of dollars off these dopes and the way Andrew Tate was doing it [23:05] He would have the girls sitting in front of the keyboard, typing with their tits out, and then him and his friends would be over on the side, and they would be typing on the shit, because they knew what the guy wanted to hear. So they would type all the things for the guy, and the guys would just donate money. And they were making millions. Millions. That is crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. But you know, it's one of those things where there's certain kind of scams where I think they should be legal, like televangelists, like late night preachers. Yeah, it's so obvious. It should be legal. Like if they're getting you with that, I don't have a don't I've never called for like the banning of televangelists Like you know when they're like God told me I need a prophet jet There's no way I can do the Lord's duty flying commercial and these guys they'll fucking sell it they'll sell it [24:04] This one guy was telling people that if they're broke, they have no money. If they just send whatever they can, everything they have, God will bless them with 10 times more. He just kept saying that. So he was trying to get people that literally had nothing. And if you send me the guy in the 5,000-dollar suit with the big, big, big ring, if you send me your money, whatever you have left, God will bless you 10 times over. I don't believe the badding of anybody who could take money out of your pocket. Do you know that? Because if you're that fucking stupid, it's like, who raised you? It gets to a certain level where I'm like, okay, wait a minute, like financial market stuff. Like when people are pulling stock schemes and pumping dumps and things like that, yeah, that's different. That's different. That's different. Then you're actually getting, no, I'm not talking about television people. Like Bernie made off. Right. You're actually getting intelligent people. [25:00] That fucking robbed you yeah they just trusted you I'm talking about like when an African sends you a text message and says fucking come bail me out if you send me 500 you're gonna inhale and her it 80 million dollars yeah you know how many people get every year 60 minutes has a fucking expose yes about some African that's taking money from fucking people and they keep doing it it's like a witch I should probably bring up. There's a lot of people that are getting emails from a scammer saying that they're being invited onto this podcast. Yes, they are. Oh, dear friend of mine, keep asking me what the fuck is this about? Yeah, hundreds of people. I don't know how many people have been contacted. And it's more than one account that's doing it. And I think it's some sort of a scam to get your Facebook information or some sort of information or credit card information or something. Don't do it. Don't do it. We will never ask you for anything like that and if we contact you it'll be obvious. It's obvious also that whoever the person is writing these things, at least in the ones that have been sent to me, it seems like English is their second language. They don't seem to know exactly how to phrase things [26:06] in a way that an American would phrase things. So it seemed a little obvious to me that it was shifty and a lot of obvious to a lot of other people, but a bunch of people sent them to me. Okay, yeah, because I had one I was gonna show you, I think I erased it, he said it to me yesterday. And he was like, yeah, ask him, they keep sending me these fucking things From the Joe Rogan experience he doesn't know. Yeah, it's just scammers You know they reach out to you through Instagram or you know they find out you follow me or maybe I talked about you on the podcast Or maybe something like that and then next thing you know you get a letter Yeah, you know This is the scammers out there man. I mean the the Nigerians are the best at it. I mean that's where that's where it was invented They're the best that they're the best when did they first start email scam with people probably right after email got invented Like when was the first Nigerian prince email scams because it's always like I have all this money, but I need [27:05] To get it out. If you help me get it out, you get 10 million. I can't get mad at you for some money. Right. Right. You look at that new giggle. You look at that new giggle. Any of that stuff online, you have to look at, I don't press nothing online. If you send me a Facebook message and I have a link on something, I don't click. I don't touch good I don't open that when that shit starts happening mm-hmm things start popping up This I took off the computer. Yeah, I did a button. I should not fucking hit yeah fuck you I don't go into any of those things. Yeah, even friends of mine that send me shit I'm busy. Yeah, you know if you're smart. Yeah They used to do this by letter. Real. I mean, this is not a start. The 1910. The 1910. Wow, the Nigerian started in the 1900s. I wouldn't know that I wouldn't know that. 1910? Yeah. The origins of the Nigerian print scam date back to 1910 when it went by another name, [28:02] the Spanish prisoner swindle. Oh, back then, victims received a message as a letter in the mail rather than on the internet, but the same basic structure between the two scams remains between both scams remains scams, remain the same. The Spanish prisoner swindle centers around a wealthy foreign nobleman who's imprisoned for political reasons. The nobleman claims no location of a lost treasure that he's willing to share this treasure with the victim. The problem is he's in prison and needs the victim to send him money so he can bribe his way out. Wow. Interesting. There's always been people like that. But you know what the problem is? The problem is the app, like, there are people in this country. What was the number that we go that have a IQ lower than 85? It's pretty high. 15%. So imagine 15% of people that you could basically trick with anything. Get them to join a cult, get them to sign up for some fucking telemarketing swindle. [29:02] You think it's IQ or do you think it's? IQ is interesting, right? Because IQ doesn't necessarily mean intelligence because it depends upon your education because some of the questions in IQ tests are predicated on a knowledge of math and understanding of like how to do equations and certain things that you learn in school. But there's intelligence that is social intelligence intelligence in terms of being able to see what the problems are in a certain choice you make or what the up benefits are of a different choice. There's people that are strategizers and they're really good at business, they're really good at figuring people out, they're really good at figuring people out. They're really good at figuring themselves out. There's an intelligence to that. So the problem with IQ in my mind is I know a lot of people with very high cues, but their life is a clumsy mess. So it's like, it really is dependent upon what is the mental horsepower you have and [30:06] how are you applying that mental horsepower? Are you Gary Clark Jr. and applying that mental horsepower to music and you're a genius, but you're a genius in music or are you Lex Friedman and you're making artificial intelligence and working on coding robots? Are you Elon Musk? You're making artificial intelligence and working with coding robots, or you Elon Musk, you're making spaceships. Like what are you doing with this intelligence? So IQ, there's limitations of it, but at least it's an indicator of how smart a person is. It's an indicator. It's not the only indicator. There's other factors that I think are much more intangible. They're much harder to measure in a way. That's my take on it. I think it means something. I think if your parents opened up your eyes, something, you know, it's like I do that bit and it's true. I really do. I'm mad at my guidance counselor. I really am, deep down inside because, [31:08] you know, he was telling you all about those job possibilities and college possibilities, but you don't even forgot to tell us about New York being right across the river. And all the possibilities you had over there, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done this shit early. You mean stand up? Everything. I wouldn't have tried anything anything early the thing is no one's ever gonna Advise that you take the riskiest chance and show business No one's ever gonna advise that you I didn't want to be a show business guy But I wish you would have told me you know if you want to take acting lessons you go to the city that's show business I didn't know I didn't know that fucking when I'd watch a movie I thought you just walked on the fucking thing and they gave you a part. This is how stupid I was when I was young. It's not stupid. It's uninformed. I thought when the stand-up did a special, I thought he just showed up. And they had a camera and he goes, I'm ready. That's what I thought. I didn't think. I didn't really know. I'm mad that he didn't open up. I see the kids I grew up with. You got to see the people around you. And some of us saw some things and some [32:05] of us didn't. Some of us saw a path that was different than just getting a job and working for the years and getting a watch. You know, I don't think they opened up our minds to that stuff. There was a lot of stuff that we didn't in my house. She would fucking town. Like my mother was crazy. When I was six, she would fucking town, like my mother was crazy. When I was six, she would put a fucking gold chain on me that belonged to a man. And she'd make me put it out. And she'd go, I want you to walk the streets like somebody fucks you. You know, I mean, and I would now I think about these stories and I go, what was she doing? Right, why was she getting you to go outside with a valuable piece of jewelry around your neck? I'm a little kid. I mean, when I was getting nice to my 88th street and the gold chain was hanging and when I went to get the The colon from mr. Softy. He goes. That's a nice chain and he looked at it. My mother was watching from the window She was like punch him in the fucking face. I'm like [33:00] I'm like eight don't let nobody touch your face like she was They she just did things, you know, like don't go on a car with people like just general shit that they Banged into your fucking head. Well, that's good. All that stuff's good. I was out there like I was out there Re-fucking day, you know different got him a intelligence right? It's smart. Absolutely. Yeah Absolutely, and it's also right? It should smart. Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's also informed. You're informed. You're informed about the dangers of your environment. And some people, if they grow up in the suburbs, and they go to really nice schools, they're lost in those environments. They don't understand the rules. Talk, I'm worried about kids today. You should be. Listen, I didn't know this. I just spoke to somebody in my old neighborhood. And we talking about something they go you should see a neighborhood at 230 Fucking you can't drive and I go why she goes McKinley school where I went she goes to parents pick him up with cars I go what are you talking about? We walked those streets home. There was just three blocks of blocks from the neighborhood. She goes not anymore [34:01] Those kids don't walk those streets at all. And they live right dead. Yeah. I mean, it's not like a cross town like, you know, you got to get those kids out. Yeah, they got to get out of the house. We're going to get them out. How many kids are just at home playing video games? Oh, it drives me fucking crazy. When my daughter goes knocking on people's door and they're like, no, we're there inside playing video games. You know, it's 70 fucking degrees out. And I just call him Mr. Softy. He's on his way. What the fuck? Yeah, I got Mr. Softy's number in my neighborhood. First time I met him, I came in edible and he's like, what are you at? And I told him, Is it ring? Does it, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, I would give him edibles, give those ABX edibles, and Tom put them in my milkshake. And he blended into milkshakes. That's hilarious. So, intelligence, yeah, I know a lot of people are fucking smart, but they make mistakes. [35:00] Yeah, they make big decisions. You go, what the fuck? In your life, relationship know, relationship decisions, business decisions, yeah, friendship decisions. It's intelligence is complicated. It's very complicated. But the point is some people, their mental horsepower is very low. It's not a matter of what they apply themselves to. It's a matter of they don't have the resources. Their brain doesn't work good. And I've met a lot of people like that, and I know you have too. Where you like, this guy ain't never gonna be a genius. There's like, there's no inspiration in him. There's nothing, it doesn't have a thing he's really into. There's never thing he likes. He's just dull, dull-minded, for whatever reason. I don't know if it's just a roll of the dice or maybe the way he was raised. I don't know, but some people just they don't have a good brain. They just don't. So those guys, they get that fucking Nigerian prince email like this is it. This is my ticket out of here. He's like scraping up coins, putting quarters and rolls, [36:00] bringing them to the bank. I believe in faith. Like if you're broke and you go put $2 on a picket ticket, because there's a $175 billion dollar, I believe in that. I believe in all that type of stuff, Joe. But that's the biggest scam in the world. What's that? Lottery. Well, I'm not talking, even when I was a kid, the numbers. Three numbers. You put $5 you win $2,500 bucks, okay? In those in small, you know, in the 70s and 60s and the black communities, the Spanish communities, Italian communities, Italian communities. That's a way of hope. Yeah. Your Sicilian grandmother wakes up one morning and says, oh my God, I had a dream about peppers. Yeah. Pepper is an awesome, your grandma, hug grandma, the yells, peppers, that's 68. Yeah. You know, and also you're like put a prefix on it, 568. And you know, this is your trip gently. Mm-hmm. This is your trip to buy, this is your chance to buy your son a car. It's like that little fake that yeah. Mm-hmm. But it's something that you have a chance at. [37:01] It's fun too. It's fun. The problem is the problem. The same thing is the problem with drinking. The same thing is the problem with everything else I said people lose their fucking minds And that becomes everything. I told you about my grandmother, right with the numbers. Yeah, yeah What's the low-shock to it? She went to jail my grandmother went to jail for six months because she wouldn't route out The people that were on the numbers. Yeah We'd go to visit grandma. Where's grandma? Grandma's visiting Aunt Josie. She was in Aunt Josie for six months. It was ridiculous. Yeah, she was knitting for the fucking guards in prison. She wouldn't rat. So they put her away for six months for bookmaking. Yeah, that's true. So those immigrants, those people with dreams, yep, I see that. But somebody just fucking calling you and going, hey, if you lend me five hours or tell a land vangelist, whatever the fuck you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, I'm even like, I gotta hate to say this in public, but I'm down on like fucking charities and shit. Well, because they don't get the fucking money, unless you donate the same Jew or something like that. You know, some guy's driving a BMW and the people I sent the money to, you know, [38:07] and it's happened to us. We saw it. We gave money and nothing happens. And you're like, what the fuck, guys? So now you just give it direct. And you're seeing those charts show like what the money give to charity, how much actually goes to the cause, how much of it is just overhead? In some places, it's like overhead? It's in some places like 90%. It's ridiculous. I use 10% of the money, it goes to the chair. It's a very inefficient thing. And then you have things where the people that are running it are making enormous salaries. And then they're like, look at the Black Lives Matter thing where the girls were buying $6 million houses. Like, what the fuck are you doing? The fuck are you doing the fuck are you doing? The fuck are you doing? What are you doing? And like, oh, we use this for events. What? What? It's just that happens with so many charities and so many charitable organizations. [39:00] And then there's charitable organizations like, there's foundations that are set up just as tax breaks So there's like tax breaks involved if you have a foundation It's a charitable foundation that works towards good causes like maybe climate change or maybe you know something along those lines health You know the global health and then you get involved in that and it's a nice way to avoid paying taxes You move money around. You put money in the foundation. You kind of move it around. You know, it's these guys that are involved in charitable organizations. The thought behind it is beautiful. Like wouldn't it be great if people donated all this money to charity and we could fix a lot of things. But what you're really doing in a lot of ways is you're pumping up the business of these charities. And then they pump up their advertising revenue, they pump up their social media profile, their campaigns, their this, their that. And then they get co-opted. They get co-opted by companies, corporations, pharmaceutical companies, different mandates [40:01] and narratives that they'd like to promote. And next again, you know, charitable organizations are a part of the propaganda machine. And it's all being funded by enormous amounts of money. And most of that money does not go to the actual cause itself. It sucks. Have you ever seen the charts? I will. Pull up a chart of what where the money goes. Let's try to find out where the, if you see there's a good chart that shows like, when I was various like Red Cross or these different ones. I bumped into an unmoons when I was going to Catholic school. And she told me that when people were looking for you for help, like when they were on the side of the street and they were asking you for help, that could be Jesus in disguise. So I fucked my world up. So I started donating as a kid. The first person I donated to was the black kid with the flies on them that they sent you to picture. Yeah, so his brothers. He wrote a letter in... Kineson had their bit about it and then I never got nothing after that. I'm writing letters. Don't be straightening back. I want to know that the kid made it to the sixth grade. I was so fucking pissed as a kid and then I would do the hard association walks. Like that was my shit and trust me I skamed off the top I'm like a liar because I would go to my mother's bar and I make them give me like 10 bucks a mile [41:08] Come on right, you know, I was show up with like $3,000 and think I was a good kid finally like half like 30 I'm like they're gonna get light this year. I'm making $3,000 fucking dollars here. So look at the red cross What's that? That wasn't too bad. It's pretty small though. Okay. Let's see what we got here. What percentage? It's... Okay. So, this shows you all the money that comes in and how much of it actually grows to programs and how much of it goes to programs and how much of it goes to administration and how much of it goes to fundraising. So Red Cross looks pretty fucking good. Red Cross shows it's like 90% of the money goes to programs. Only 3.5% goes to administrative and 6% goes to fundraising. [42:05] So this is what we donated to. Remember when we did those shows in San Diego right after the fire? And I'm like, we can't take money from these people. They just had this massive file. Let's just donate all the money. So we donate the money to Red Cross. Because that seemed to be the best one. St. Jude's 72%. And then it gets, when you start going down the line, it starts getting sketchy. Now these are, most of these are, this one, we're pretty good. We're gonna worry. We're gonna worry here's a little weird. 34% back in the fundraising. Yeah, but you know they still at least 60% of it are close to 60% of it goes to the actual programs. What's the worst ones though, Janet? The worst ones was a different one. These, this is a different try. I want to see the worst ones. Those are good ones. Red Cross has always been thought of as one of the best ones in terms of the amount of money that actually goes to the cause. These are mostly UK charities though. Do they have American ones or worldwide ones? [43:03] Let's see that one. wide ones? Let's see that one. That just shows where people are spending on. The worst in terms of the amount of money that goes towards the cause. The top 10 worst charities, it says kids wish network is number one. Disabled police officers, 4.4% goes to program expenses, and 94% goes to professional fundraising fees. That's crazy. Disabled police officers counseling center, 94% of it goes to fundraising fees. That's bonkers. These are under Jersey. Ooh, you're good, Jersey. Right away you're like, oh, okay. I see what's going on. Look at the cancer survivors fund. Hey, they survived. That's the fucking, that's what they get. 9% goes to programs. [44:03] 87% goes to fundraising and they also just i think a lot of time to make their names something close to like the good one uh... probably a really good fire fighters foundation that's not right and they call themselves a firefighters charitable foundation only seven percent goes to the program eighty five percent goes to professional fundraising fees what does that even mean? Professional fundraising fees, but a lot of them are like that. But you gotta also think, if you're gonna run a charity, you gotta pay people something. Kids wish network. Look at this. They raised $127 million. They paid to solicitors 109 million and they spent percentage on direct cash aid to the actual kids is 2.5 percent, 2.5 percent. Look at the cancer fund of America, less than 1 percent went to the actual thing, direct cash aid. But when this is direct cash aid [45:01] and paid to solicitors, who's the solicitors? Who counts as a solicitor there? Is that mean paid to the organization? And then they only pay out that much to the people? Soliciting costs. Subbie... I'm probably trying to buy a fundraising, yeah. It's overhead, it's everything, right? Yeah, so it's mostly a scam. Look at the fucking International Union of Police a scam. Look at the fucking international union of police associations. Look at that one. Zero point five percent. That's why quit. That's crazy. That's when I found out three years I worked for the cops. When donations on the phone after I got arrested I started emboldened and when I went to Seattle I did it there and then up in Seattle I found out what the cops were getting. I'm done. I'm done. You give me 50 bucks I'm giving you a sticker for the back of your cars when you get pulled over they know. Yeah that you donate and these guys were showing up in Maserati every day with two owners and I'm like, fuck you. It's like the thing in LA with the homeless. [46:08] You know, Coleon Noir set me hits of that. He told me they were getting like six figure salaries. I was like, no way. And some of them are making 240 grand a year. Yeah, no, no, no. Taking care of the homeless. That is not being taken care of. They're not doing anything about it. No. They just, they have to keep the business rolling too. That's the thing. Once you have 20, 30, 50, whatever people making six figures, all that money keeps coming in. You have all those mouths to feed, all those mortgages, all those people, now you have an industry, now you have bureaucracy and you're never getting that back. No. You'd have to have some crazy dude that comes in like, who's that guy from Argentina? The guy that just became the president of Argentina with the wacky hair? That guy's amazing. He's like, everybody out, everybody out. He kicked out everybody. He cut that budget down to nothing. Nothing. [47:01] Yeah. He got rid of all the bullshit. All the bullshit. It's really crazy when I work for the cops I would you know, I loved it. It was great. I had a great time in that office. I'd be up there smoking dope But with the cops now it was like one cop that he didn't get the fuck I'm over here raising money for you, but even he was on the scam Yeah, it's like it come on man when you have money that's being donated like cash It's come on. It know, it's like, come on man. When you have money that's being donated, like cash that's been donated, it's just, it's going to get moved around. It's like, you got to help these fucking people out, you know? And look at now, you go, when I came from Cuba, when I was a little kid, to learn how to do anything. The reason why I learned how to do anything was because the police athletic league. I swear to God. Yeah. Everything. Shootin' fishin' in Central Park, boxing program. You know, you shot pool. Who did you shot me in a pool? Really? Please athletic. Yeah, right on there. 88 and amps to them. It's a smart move. So I was always embedded to those people. [48:02] Always in my heart because I was a Spanish kid they took me in over there They fingerprinted me they take it to the precinct you shoot a 22 they give you the target Oh, I give you a little thing they give you like a little badge, you know, and you're like ah And so I always wanted to work for them like that was it I always you know and then after I got in trouble I'm like, you know, I own my debt that would be very good to me. I was, I was the guy that fucked up. So I always worked for the cops. I always tried to don't, you know, get fucking people to donate for stickers or, you know, bulletproof vest and all that shit. And then we would do comedy at the benefits in Seattle, even though I got arrested six times. It never worked. They didn't fucking do anything. Well, maybe you would have got arrested a lot worse. A lot worse. It's crazy. When I found out, I was like, I'm out. I'm not doing this. And now you know, you want to help out something happens. Hurricane relief. And you're like, I'm not. Right. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it because it's, you know. [49:00] Right. And you feel like shit, I rather see somebody give me 20. Some guys hungry. Yeah, just go give me 20. I'm not giving left over food or whatever We just get the guy 20 making his own decisions if you want to snore at a bifant No, go. I don't give a fuck you know It's not my problem, but I did my job the red cross seems like a good one But also wasn't the red cross one of the people that was helping people map out the way to illegally enter the US Wasn't that one of the things that the Red Cross was doing? Google that. But that could be also that the Red Cross is a legitimate charitable organization and it realizes that these people are gonna do this no matter what and show them the way to do it that's safe. If they're gonna do it, they're gonna do it. I mean, you gotta do it. Showing them the way that's safe to me seems like, you know, like almost an ethical thing to do. If you know that this is happening, and then providing them aid along the way, so they don't die, that seems like, you know, [50:00] the whole immigration thing is very complicated, you know. You came from immigrants, you came from immigrants I came from immigrants or my grandparents were immigrants, but it's just the way they're doing it Where anybody can get through is so wild so the Red Cross has provided maps to migrants Traveling towards the US border Now, what is the reasoning Now, what is the reasoning? Is the Red Cross giving maps to migrants? The map in the social media is real. Different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the International Committee of the Red Cross. The ICRC is a consortium of Red Cross agencies including the American Red Cross. The map is a part of an informational safety pamphlet provided by eight organizations including the National Red Cross societies to migrants traveling to Central America. The pamphlet also includes resource information like where to find food, shelter, and medical assistance. [51:01] While the map has been around since at least 2018, American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the COVID-19 pandemic to promote these safety materials. The Red Cross logos appeared across the top of the map. The American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after COVID-19 partnership expired. Current pamphlet containing the map shows the current partners are the national red cross societies of Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador Does not seek to encourage or discourage migration but rather to contribute to Migrating the vulnerability mitigating the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route. Actually, we're spending I can live with that That's that's yeah, that's not encouraging people to do it. That's saying they're doing it. Let's let's make it so at least they have like a safe way to do it. Listen, man. This migrant situation is carrying everything around. New York City, Chicago, LA, that way. You know, and yeah, tax money and New York's giving you $10,000 now an ATM card right they give you $10,000 for your mic something along those lines. Yeah, you know and [52:10] I don't know There's a lot to say like You know look at that I fucking vets how they get treated look, you know, hmm. So I'm gonna send you this Jamie. See what's going on in in Paris they they started they were trying to kick these dudes out Of the country and they started a riot at the airport Who are they trying to kick out? Illegal immigrants I'll show you Jamie. I just sent it to you Yeah, and they're like no, we're not going they're like you have to go there's too many of you like no Fuck you. We're not flying. They started a riding at the airport. They were trying to deport them. And they're like, uh-uh. We're here. Listen, all I remember is one thing, Joe. And I used this, and I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody. I was like this. Give me the volume. [53:01] It is a full-on, donny-nie Brook at the airport. They're beating them at tendons. Security guys are getting fucked up. This wild shit, man. So they got them over there too? They're trying, yeah, they have a lot a lot a lot of migrants in Europe Yeah, it's it's basically it happened right after the pandemic in mass It's just massive amounts of migrants in Europe massive amounts of migrants here. It's almost like it's on purpose If it's not on purpose what are coincidence? If it's not on purpose, what are coincidence? But it just seemed like there just wasn't migrants coming in, but what I was telling you before was, I think I told you last time, I saw what the Mario boat lift did to my area, Hudson County, not in 1979, but I saw it five years later, and then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco. [54:05] And I got the San Francisco 95. It was a huge Cuban population. When they were in San Francisco. So this is the people that took off from Maria in 78. And this is when Fidel kicked them out? Yes. He kicked out 160,000 people. We didn't have records on these people. So we didn't really know what they were about. They could just tell you, I worked in construction, you know, and they didn't know. So this is that, but 10 times, right? That was 100,000 people, 200,000. This is 8 million or something like that. Yeah, right? That's come through. At least. You're not gonna feel this today. You're gonna feel this five years from now. Well, they could feel it real soon, depending upon who the people are and why they're here. The most troubling version is sleeper cells. The most troubling version is that there's military cells that exist here. Terrorists. [55:00] The Chinese were coming in. Now they've grown weak. Are they Chinese? Jamie, go Now that grown weed. Are they Chinese? Jamie, go to a video tape. Yeah. Chinese buying farms. You had just had somebody on here that was talking about the Chinese of buying farms. Yes, they're definitely buying farms. What do you think they're doing with those fucking farms? Gray's in fucking sushi? No. They're fucking grown reefer. Department of Homeland Security, memo first reported by the Daily Call or received as a part of the Freedom of Information Act request said that more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese nationals. Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? Joy, what? Oh. 275 growups in Maine. And the weed is on fire up there at New Hampshire. Yeah, is it no they say that's the best weed right now New Hampshire really New Hampshire Somewhere up there New Hampshire Maine. They say the weed is so fucking strong. Hmm Hmm [56:01] See that look at that. Yeah, they're growing. So what is the legalization of weed in Maine? Is it legal there? Not sure, brother. Yeah. It's legal in so many states now. Yeah, Maine, New Hampshire, I think. How much cannabis can I possess? Adults 21 years of age or older can possess up to 2.5 ounces of a combination of cannabis, cannabis concentrate, and cannabis products, including no more than five grams of cannabis concentrate. How many plants can I grow? Mainers can grow cannabis for personal use. That's reasonable. Is that your phone? No. Someone's ringing. That's you, bro. It's ringing like a phone phone. You get the whole school ring on there. You pick that? Yeah. [57:00] Yeah, and Jersey's buck wild, right? What do you mean with weed? I just started going to weed stores in January. I said, you know what? I got I'm done with laughing gas. I got to expand my horizons see what's out there And the first one I went to was a Neptune and they're pretty impressive. It's big fucking joint I've got the name of it. It was pretty impressive Second place I went to his 15 minutes from my house. Joe right by the doctor's office and freehold. Holy shit. And that's when I discovered rhythm because I was like listen, I made this either double. I don't want to know that Jersey fucking swank. You know, and it's everything is in container is it's completely different. You know, and they got I got this rhythm 36% Jesus. And I'm like this is me. It's from the I guess this is what is this after David for probable cause from where from the the China the Chinese thing and the Chinese immigrants in Maine [58:01] It says we are in prison please please come and save us. We are here and gives the address. No cell phones. We are abducted from China. Passports were confiscated. The boss is a woman. Five foot two, about 45 years old. No means of transportation. The manager is Asian, black hair, five foot six. A lot of marijuana is grown in the first floor. A lot of finished products. No escape from the house. only work but no salary. I want to leave here, we tried to escape, but failed, we were beaten, please come and save us. Whoa. Fuck. So they got slaves working making the weed in Maine. Yeah, Shanghai. Yeah. Yeah. That's just strong. That's just shit that the boring mechanics are smoking. Isn't that crazy that this fucking craze? There's slaves in America right now growing weed for China Let's see where this is gonna go. It's fucking interesting. That's crazy I saw this a couple weeks where I read the article I'm like oh and then that guy said it on your podcast. Well, he said about farmland, yeah, but I didn't know it was happening like that. [59:06] The fuck you think they're doing? The growing fucking bean sprouts, the soy sprouts, they're going for it, Jack. Well, they're controlling farmland it's around military bases. That's scary. And a lot of Chinese will come in through the border with these guys. Yeah, military age. A lot of Chinese. So let's see where this hand is getting played. Not only a lot of Chinese, but they have Chinese stops where you can go and everybody speaks Chinese along the way and they have a Chinese restaurant. Everything's written in Chinese, Chinese signs everywhere. So they have like a very specific organized route to get to America. And these guys all young fit guys coming to America. Like what are you doing? Like what the fuck is going on here? We're just basically sitting ducks. We'll wait. Yeah, we're sitting ducks. And there was a big warning today, Homeland Security is warning about terrorist attacks in America. [1:00:00] That's what scares me about this fucking election too. I'm not... I'm not saying that they would do this, but I definitely think they have in the past. Like, allowed things to happen, just so that they can tighten up on restrictions and laws and... scare people more and get people to vote one way or another. Scary shit. We're looking at weird times, my friend. The weirdest, right? The fucking weirdest. And ever in your life, could you ever imagine things be so bizarre as they are right now? They've been bizarre for about five years now. Well, you just can't believe this shit. You're hearing anything. You say, you don't want them to stick to my camp. I'm good here. It was bizarre in 2017, but it wasn't bizarre like now. No. This is different. This is insane. Did he get arrested? I mean, just everything. Everything. Every time. A bridge getting hit. It's something every fucking week. Every day. You know, Trump 480 million, you know, they needed by Monday. [1:01:00] I said, it's just fucking. I thought Mark Cuban would bail him out. I know who the fuck was gonna bail him out. Yeah, how does that work? I think they knocks it down to 175 billion. They ask them, how's he gonna pay it? He goes cash. And that is worth six point something billion because of the social deal. Right. But it's all stock, I guess. Right. The whole thing, I'm not a financial guy, obviously, but I think the whole thing is liquidity. How much money do you actually have coming in? How much is it tied up in real estate investments and holdings and Trump's got buildings and hotels, resorts and da da da da da da da da da da da da da. It's a lot going on. How the fuck can he pay attention all that shit? You imagine running some kind of a business empire, trying to pay attention to everything? Talk, I met him when he was fucking at a football team. Really? Yeah, he owned the fucking generals. That's how I knew her, she'd walk in those people. That's how I met those dudes. When was this? Fucking 85. Trump on the Trump and 85. [1:02:01] How long time ago? What was he like in 85 hello goodbye? I don't fucking know it's not like we hung out I was scared of them Why because it was like I told you when I got out of jail I was supposed to have a job selling Siding indoors and saddles electrical equipment and indoor salesman in Jersey And when I got out of prison, I go I'm out can I come take the job now? And he goes, I can't, we're going out of business. And I go, what happened? He goes, Trump put in a built something. He was going to these little hardware stores, like ours, tollistic or fuck ourselves, we're done. I knew this in 88. What do you mean? At that time, supposedly, he would build something. It's like you come into somebody, a little restaurant and go, and I want to build my own fucking stake. And he would go to people and say, I'm gonna build this and then use your lumber or whatever the fuck. And since there's so much with contractors, [1:03:00] the subcontractors and subcontractors, they would step their bills. They weren't paying their bills. Really? Yeah, this one out of the line. You can look it up. This isn't something, you know. And that's all I remember from Trump. I met him in 85 and I fucking, that was my only thing with Trump. You know, if you're from New York, you know who he is, you've been hearing the name. Yeah, I remember hearing about this from you actually now. You were telling me that there was, with contractors, didn't have stiff small contractions. Small contractors and then we'll go downhill. You know, we'll run downhill. So now I gave you all the doors I had for your project. Trump just wasn't building one house with one window. I'm giving you everything on the arm. Yeah, you gave me a deposit. Maybe sometimes not. Maybe I'm so excited to do business with Trump. I got such a small place that I forget everything. You know, whatever the fuck happens. Yeah. So that's what happened. 88. I mean, I don't know the whole story, but he mentioned Trump. That's all I remember from [1:04:04] that fucking guy. Hmm. I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that. That's all I remember from that fucking guy. I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that, it's probably a lot of people involved. A lot of people making decisions. A building? Yeah. A building? He's the GC. He takes bids for everything else. Right? That's how it usually works. Is that what Trump does? Is it real estate developer? I don't know how it goes down, but there's a GC, a general contractor and then There's windows wiring, you know all the different departments. Uh-huh. You don't know what everybody's doing Right, you got 20 people and you fucking building right? You know when you built a comedy club how many people are fucking there every day? Yeah a lot You don't know right you don't know you're not a contract, but you don't know if they're doing the war right? You know, you just trust whatever. So this is all I remember that was it Yeah Well the whole construction business was always shady and it was always tied up with the mob like I knew a couple guys who had No, no show up jobs like at the Javits Center. Yeah, just you just get paid concrete. Yeah, they don't concrete [1:05:07] That was the thing the mob would make deals whenever any sort of job was getting done Did have a certain amount of no show jobs for their guys always always That's by me getting shurrants mm-hmm And that's when you when you arrest those guys and you go what are you doing for a living the coppenters? You yeah coppenters you don Yeah. The coppenters you. You don't even know what an inch is. Even not a measure six inches, you fuck. Yeah. Yeah, it was a scam. But it was how they avoided taxes, too, right? Because taxes helped what brought a lot of them down. That's a broad alcohol poem down. Tax evasion. Tax evasion. But the other guys were pretty smart. They had that, the millionaire club, the bid club. They would only do two million dollar bids or something. They would take two million right off the top of the mom on every job. Are you fucking kidding me? Just, are you kidding me? Every job in New York, you know, it's well known that when the little guy from Arizona who was over there [1:06:02] with Gotti, he controlled construction. Like that was just fucking thing. Yeah. You couldn't get anything built without that fucking dude. Do you imagine if you live in New York City at that time and you're trying to build buildings and you got to do deals with the mob and you got to do deals with Sammy the Bull? Well, here's the deal. Like I remember in 80 90, I was roofing and the company was from Georgia and my brother-in-law that I asked them, you know, why'd you pick up this job and they just tell me it's just so difficult. I go, what do you mean? He goes, take the dumpster. That dumpster that they pick up every day and take off and they're being another one. Colorado at the time was $200. That same dumpster in New York was $2,000 a day. That's how inflated the prices were. $1,800 different. It's fucking crazy. That's what the cost of doing fucking construction in New York. Well, it was always a corrupt town. That's why I took the UFC forever to get into New York. [1:07:03] It was gonna pay the right... Look at these people waiting for licenses. Yeah. I know people in Jersey waiting for licenses, I landed. I got a license. You got to grease 80 fucking people. 80 people, you got to know people pay. I know companies that are still waiting for a license from LA. They just thought that we're gonna come and apply in New Jersey or in New York City. Look at New York City. They had a thing they were giving licenses only to people who had felonies. Did you remember that? In New York, they wanted the ideal medical marijuana owners that X convict who went to prison or gotten trouble from marijuana. This is the second chance. Check it out. It's fucking insane. Can't get a license in New Jersey. That is kind of crazy, but they should do something for those poor fucks that went to jail for weed. Nobody should ever went to jail for weed. No. It's ridiculous. No. It's a ridiculous thing to put people in jail for. [1:08:02] And it keeps people in a cage for that. Well, especially while everything else is okay. Don't make any sense. Look what you're finding out now. Look at this guy today. I got the Uber fresh out of the smoke and the fucking joy that is shit this morning. Thank God the guy was Cuban. The senior to you, the name, the guy's name was Antonio. I go, he's Cuban. Got in the car. I was in the car two minutes, he goes, oh, yeah, look at that. Oh, man, no, who knew? What is that shit? And I just gave him the canvas, and I go, smell this. He's like, wow. And this is a guy that's been in this country for 10 years. And he said to me, you know, I don't know what the fuss is about this. Yeah, people don't realize when you smoke this pain go away you start thinking clearer He goes it takes time. There's a fucking Uber driver telling me this shit Yeah, and I asked him how do you know about this stuff because in Cuba we're grown wheat Really was outdoor weed you couldn't get wasn't that strong and sometimes they bring it from Jamaica That's what he was saying we were getting Cuba weed from Jamaica [1:09:02] Because you know, I mean the soil is done in Cuba really Well, they complain about cigars these cigars aren't tasting the same. They said really the fucking soil has just been abused There's no nourishment right this guy was telling me today it cost more for a packet chicken in Cuba than what doesn't the United States Galen the gas costs more in Cuba than what it does right here now here in Northland. Wow, it makes sense. I mean, it makes sense. You have to have infrastructure, you have to have capitalism, you have to have people competing. That whole communism thing doesn't work. And the thing is like, the thing that the people that love communism point to, they're like, yeah, but we put in embargo on Cuba, like what if we didn't do that? Like, yeah? It's still a dictatorship. Like you still is. You get told what you're doing with your life. You don't want that. Nobody wants that. You might think that that is better because there's no rich people. [1:10:02] If that's what you're thinking, you're missing everything because that means everybody's poor. You don't want everybody to be poor. You want everybody to have a chance to be well off. That's what you have here. Now, some people, they get a bad role of the dice, they get a bad hand of cards, they get a bad situation in life, they get a bad place that they live, and they're fucked. That this is true. And it's not fair. It's not fair in terms of equal opportunity. It's not. But in terms of opportunity, there's no place better than right here. And there's no place better with actual capitalism. You can do great things. You can do great things, not just for you, but for other people. You can do great things. If people give you the freedom to do great things, but if you live in a socialist country, you don't have any of that. You don't get to decide what you do. The state gets to decide, and how do they enforce that? There's only one way, force, military. There's only one way to get people to follow the rules of communism and socialism, [1:11:00] and it's always a dictatorship. It's always one group has all the money and all the power And they tell you what the fuck you're gonna do and if you don't do it They kill you or they lock you up in jail and they threaten people and they scare people and they make people disappear So everybody stays in line and that is what people always do whenever you get a communist country That if you ask any of these wacky kids and colleges give me an example of Socialism that works you ask any of these wacky kids and colleges, give me an example of socialism that works. They'll give you like socialist programs or countries like some Norwegian countries that have a lot of socialist programs that are really good countries. They have really good healthcare, really good education, you pay a lot of taxes, but it goes a long way. And they have a better society because of it. That's great, but they still have the freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to do. They still have the freedom to do whatever kind of occupations they want. If the ability to make a shitload of money, you have the ability to excel, the problem is people want a quality of outcome when they don't have anything. But you're never [1:12:01] going to have that because, first of all, it's impossible, but second of all, because you're never going to have that because first of all, it's impossible, but second of all, because you're never going to have a quality of effort. And one of the things that a competitive environment or a place like America, we have freedom is some people put more into life. They put more into the things they do and they get more back. They get more out of it and they're inspiring to other people to do the same. And you see them live a rich and fulfilled life and you're inspired to do the same. That's not happening to Cuba, bro. That is not happening. That's not happening in any of these communist countries. Good on North Korea. Tell them, ask me how it worked out when they made a deal to take over all the farm so that no one would ever go hungry. Let the state control everything. What a great idea. Everybody give up your farm to the state. Now your fucked. Now you fucked. That's the beauty, you know, as somebody who knew that other side, not from living it, but just from hearing the stories. It made you appreciate this so much more. Yeah, that listening you could [1:13:03] You could fall into place in this country or you don't need a ceiling over your income. This is the greatest thing about this country. It's like when I first got out there, I always worked on commission, Joe. I don't want you out early, Wade. Shut that up, you fucking ass. I'm gonna come here and prove myself. You're gonna sell cars, I sell cars. I want me to sell doors or signs I sell them but I'm doing on commission I want the most that I could get for that fucking thing right most people don't I did that at that 19 I New for me it was gonna be commission work. Yeah, and it's dangerous choice. It's a dangerous choice But it's based on you right was it after you put into it exactly if you want to sell when I worked at foot locker I was the number one fucking sneaker dude at foot locker was after you put into it. Exactly. If you want to sell, when I worked at Foot Locker, I was the number one fucking sneaker dude at Foot Locker. You know, and it took me a while, but I fucking went, you know, and then when I started selling cars, again, I went for it because I loved it. I learned about salesmanship, I learned about human nature. [1:14:00] Yeah. I learned that you have to mail letters to people those are the guys I know and I got a buy a car, but if you send a hundred letters three people have to buy a fucking car So you're working on all numbers, you know the United States is a beautiful fucking place Because a guy like me could write a book Think about that. Yeah, you know a guy like me could you know went to prison Had I mean, I didn't get so security on my mother's diet because you worked under a fucking alias. You know, everything got beat up on me. Let me tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to retire when I'm 65. Collect Social Security and my daughter gets Social Security now for three years, which is like 1800 a month for college. I want every fuck, you know, right. I don't give a fuck. So it all came out in the wash, 40 years fucking later. I didn't have the search security for me because my mom used the earliest, but what my point is, though you could do whatever you fucking want, you saw it, Joe. Yeah. We were talking about today, kids were coming down here with cars, living in their cars, cars and look what they're doing now because they believe themselves. You gave them a fucking [1:15:06] door and they fucking took it. Most people are still now like, you will, my 18th is not going to happen. Okay, you know, it's the same thing. Some people take chances. Some people sit there waiting for the blue bird happiness. Yeah, that's the other option you have in this country. You got actually sit and wait for the blue birds to happiness. When I came out of prison, all I had to do was sign a piece of paper and I'm disabled for life. I got a $13 check every month. And some people would take that and go look at me. I'm living like a doctor. Think about that. Some people would go, $13 a month. Fuck, that's me. Food stamps, that's me Foodstabs that's me I can still take my bills. I can still you know, yeah fucking insane It's insane. It's the choices that you make and it can imprison you that kind of money even a small amount of money can Impress you that's what scares me about universal basic income You know people say if they gave everybody X amount of money people could just pursue their dreams [1:16:04] And they wouldn't have to worry about food No, they probably won't Yeah, you can't give anything to anybody We're humans. Yeah, we take it for granted. Yeah, we got 10 checks in the mail for a thousand a month They cut us up. We don't know what the fuck happened, right? I rather not gonna hit that What were all these people after COVID, everybody fucking got checks in the mail. Now you can't get them people to work no more. Can't get people to work. You go to a place that's a great restaurant or something and the first three people you face, don't even know what the fuck they're at. But they had a hire them. You gave people money, now they're not gonna come back. they're gonna build ways not to come back people are living it up during covid dog living it up unemployment this that we still had to go out there and crack fucking stupid jokes outside getting attacked by fucking spiders and shit thinking there's a leopard in the fucking thing seriously yeah the first time I went outside with rich [1:17:00] Ross I didn't know what the fuck that was a A bat almost hit me on stage. And I told him and he goes, oh, you missed the other night. There was a fucking bear. And though, you like, what the fuck are you talking about? There's a bear in the woods. I don't know what he was talking about. Some bear or a boar. Well, there's a lot of them out there in New Jersey, right? Yeah, you would tell him he last time. But, you know know America's fucking beautiful man. It's where else can I've fallen with two strikes. I got two strikes. My next strike is life right they give you like 20 years if you have three strikes. When have you met a guy that's done on two strikes that did anything. You just give up. Yeah they're gonna get me. I refused. I don't suck my dick even when the feds are looking for me 99 for that gun. I wasn't coppin I don't know what you're talking about I don't know man. I'm not doing it. This is the path I'm taking. I don't know what and I never got in trouble again, Joe [1:18:01] Never you know comedy became You need something to get you out of that. Yes. You know I didn't just didn't stop doing coke nobody just stops doing coke show they go to eight rehabs but I saw something on the other side I saw what my friends were doing I saw what people were doing and once you you hear about Roseanne getting the tonight show were you there? No were you there when fucking Rodney blew up the garden? No To see it is something completely different when you're at the store with guys working the dog getting how much were we getting 25 a shift She was paying me 25 hours on Sunday nights to work the door and 25 to MC work the door and 25 to MC. That's no money, but you fall in love with what you're doing. Yeah. And you know there's a path and there's a path. And when you start seeing other people rise, and you're stuck as a fucking addict, you're fucking stuck. You don't know when to stop. I was stuck as an addict and I got to being stuck as a fat dude. Because there [1:19:04] was a point of my elevator broke, I wouldn't leave the fucking house. Doh. Am I walking those three flights as this? I was 450 pounds. I'm not doing it. Are you really that big, or what? 418, 420. My wife was tying my shoelaces. You know, embarrassing that fucking is? Wow. Not fucking embarrassing that is. Looking back at it now. People come to visit you and jack that's bullshit life man. Yeah. There's so much out there, Joe. There's so fucking and now I could that's what I'm trying to sell to my daughter. There's so much out there. Yeah. You know people in New Jersey or they know it's Florida. I've never seen fucking people love Florida so much. I can't stand fucking Florida because they like it so much. You know vacation for people in Jersey and one week in Atlantic City they bust out the white shoes then there's one week in Florida that was not gonna be me. Did you see that cop on TV? Which cop? Yesterday they were saying if someone breaks in your house in Florida please shoot them. We prefer if you shoot them. That's [1:20:02] what we got into now. Do you see that guy? Have you seen it Jamie? I'll send it to you. I mean, he's getting a lot of heat today. Ah, isn't he? I don't know, I'm not in Florida. I bet they're like, fuck yeah. God bless Florida. He got us in the little brother. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, sir. It's a year ago. the same one. Yeah that's the guy. Yeah safe taxpayers money if you shoot home invaders probably right here. Unoccupied dwelling felony third. Seven charges total is bonds 157,500 and I want to say ask to the person we don't know what home owner which homeowner shot at him. I guess they think that they did something wrong which they did not. If somebody's breaking in your house you're more than welcome to Shoot Him in Santa Rose Academy. We prefer that you do, actually. So whoever that was, your non-troll become Seas. We have a gun safety class we put on every other Saturday. And if you take that, you'll shoot a lot better and hopefully you'll save taxpayers money. [1:21:02] Hilarious. That's Florida. And then the Santas just came out because all these houses are getting people squatting, taking over people's houses in New York. I'm sure you've seen that. Lady got arrested because she changed the locks on her own house. Someone squatting in her house, she got into the house, kicked them out, changed the locks. They called the cops. They said they're tenants. They arrest her. It took her away in handcuffs because squatters were in her own house. And then this is guy on TikTok that started making videos explaining to people what the laws are and how you can get into people's houses and how you can squat. And so it's a genuine problem because in Georgia there's a thousand houses right now that people are squatting in. That's a giant number of houses that squatters have just taken over these people's houses. Are there people out of town? Out of town or it's real estate holding, you know, maybe trying to sell it, maybe it's your vacation house, who knows? Maybe you're fixing it up, who knows? But no one's living in it, they move in, they they take over they have it now. Is that every when? [1:22:06] It's a lot of states, but it's not Florida and Florida. They're like fuck you like like DeSantis just had a little press conference yesterday about it. It's like in Florida that does not fly You know there's no way anyone's gonna squat in your house in Florida Which is what people want to hear You know nobody wants their fucking, look, if you work really hard, you get a house and you have a second house, you can use it as a rental property or whatever you're trying to make some money and then someone takes over that and the system works for them and not for you. There's a big difference between tenants and squatters and if you can't make that differentiation, we got a real problem. We got a big problem. Yeah. That's a big problem. That's it. Somebody's gonna get shot. That's it. That's how this changes. This is how this always changes. Some guy comes home with the fucking U.A. people doing here. Yeah. You're not supposed to be. He don't know nothing. He's an old fucking guy from Iran or something. You don't know nothing. You're in my house and they'll put him in jail. [1:23:06] And they'll put him in jail, but who shoot those eight motherfuckers? Something a bad happen, but that's how it changes, Joe. The thing is once people start going to jail for defending their own property, you've made a mess. You've made a mess. You made a giant mess. And then the criminals are two steps ahead of you. They know what the rules are and they're going to get attorneys that are going to work with them and they're going to steal your house. So let me ask you this, you go on vacation with your wife. I move into your living room. You come back and you're just going to greet me with nice eyes and say, I don't know how that works. I'm going to call 911, there's a squad here, I gotta get him out, he's gonna come, go know. I don't know if you've been here, I don't know if we were in Europe. You know what happens? That what you fucking tell him? Well, I think some people can't physically do anything, right? Cause they get in the house and there's men in there. Do you see about the lady in New York City? She went to clean out her mom's place and there squatters in there and they killed her. They just caught these guys, young guys. [1:24:06] They just, same thing. They figured out there was no one in there. They broke in, changed the locks, whatever. Fixed it, stayed there. You know how this changes brother. Yeah. It's always one guy that makes an example, makes them big, deep example, and then people go out and out all the things twice about doing that. Well. It seems like the only way to really change is the law. It's just I don't understand why there's so many laws that have been around for so long, that when you see common sense solutions like Ron DeSantis saying, no, you can't do that. Stop, that's not gonna happen in Florida. That should be every state. They should say no, you can't steal people's houses. That should be simple. That has nothing to do with being Democrat or Republican. It's like stealing property. Just like no one should be able to steal your car. No one should be able to steal your clothes. They shouldn't be able to steal your house. It seems that's logical. It has nothing to do with racism or xenophobia or white privilege or any of these dumb things they [1:25:01] try to attach to this. It's just law and order. We have to have a set of laws that we all abide by. If we're going to have a peaceful society where you don't create victims and you don't empower criminals. And the fact that that is complicated in 2024 is so strange to me. I just don't understand. Almost like it's on purpose, like it's meant to keep things chaotic keep us You know on our heels keep us at each other's throats keep us just trying to figure out what's the next problem? They have to deal with and all the while There's all this shit going on Ukraine. There's all this shit going on with green energy and Bill Gates is buying farmland like God Can I have a fucking a moment where it is relaxed? What even the squatters thing when did this start? This started coming up about three four years ago during COVID didn't it all was around before it was definitely around before But I think it has ramped up considerably as things got more woke [1:26:03] Because I think as things get more woke, you start looking towards the right spotter. I don't have nowhere to go. Well listen, no one is in that home and no one should have a home that is unoccupied where people are homeless. Like, yeah, okay. I'm going to take a piss. God. I wait till lawn order puts out an episode on squatters and I learn more about it. I come back and fucking. Alright, we'll be right back. What did you bet? Dustin. He does bet Dustin over Saint Benoit Saintin. I just looked at the card and I'm like, you know, it's good bet. It was a good bet anyway. I was cheated on. I like sugar. So I couldn't pick one now and then all the hype around the guy and Dustin, I go, I always bet this fucking soldier. So I just took a chance to watch the fights. I thought I'd bet all the fights, I just bet I would have liked to see that fight with him not having staff. He was gonna have a hard prime time with Dustin stand up anyway. Dustin stand up is just sharper, more battle tested. [1:27:02] Benoit Sendini started off as a judo guy and he has very good standup. But there's levels and I think Dustin's level is extremely high. His level standup is extremely high. You see that like when he fought Max Holloway, he outboxed Max Holloway in that fight. That was a big one. A Mexican box. Maxken box. Maxken box. A lot of people are counting him out in this just engaging fight, you know? But he's got a lot of time to prepare for this. The first fight, when he fought 55, when he fought Dustin, that was a short notice fight. He didn't have time to really bulk up. I don't know how short notice it was, but I know he didn't bulk up. I think he just tried to fight, you know, just be 145 and not cut weight, you know, which is his natural weight class. So what's in your mouth? You're doing that card then. What's the new card? Have they announced that? I know they have nothing like city card this month. I saw the ad. Yeah, that's this weekend. Okay, that's why I've been fighting. Yeah. [1:28:05] I think it's, I think it's the first weekend. June? Yes. It's, uh, June 1st, UFC, Newark. Who's that? I don't know that sound on the, it's on the list. Yeah, that's far ahead. So here we are in March, April, May, June. It's probably not scheduled yet. They probably have like tentative fights set. And it probably is dependent upon who wins what and who's healthy when. Three, two on the schedule. Bro, this one, Whittaker versus Hamza Chimayev in Saudi Arabia. That one is going to be fucking wild. That's a wild one. That is a wild fight. Calvin Gaslam versus D. Rod. That's a great fight, too. Is that the only two fights that have been announced so far? Bro, Whitaker versus Hamzot is legit. That's a real fight. That's a real fight for Hamzot because Whitaker's a big dude, he's a big, I mean solid beefy 185, former champion, you know, both [1:29:10] guys started at 170, but they were cut, it was too hard to make the 170. That's a real 185er, as opposed to like, you know, they gave him Kamaro Usman and Kamaro didn't have chance to prepare for that. He had 10 days, you know, that's not enough time. I mean, I don't know what kind of shape he was in. He couldn't really test it. He's always in shape. He's always in shape. He's always. But famously, Camaro has bad knees, like real bad knees. So I don't know how hard he was training, whether or not he prepares the way, like maybe he only like sacrifices his knees during training and then when he's not training for a fight he takes it easy so he doesn't stay in the same kind of shape I don't know but I know he was winning in the third round I mean Camaro that if that was a five round fight who knows how the fuck that fight would have went and you know Obviously Camaro's world championship caliber the best welterweight of all time by most people's accounts and [1:30:02] You know it's not enough time not enough time to get a guy like that to prepare for tomorrow to prepare for Hamzot but at least we got a chance to see what Hamzot looks like against a world-class world-champage of Calber fighter so this was a big one this is Robert Whitaker with plenty of time to prepare the guy who is just as legit as they get just be Paul Costa you know is just as legit as they get, just be Paul Costa, you know, that's a good fight. I like that. I bought my boy the meat for you last weekend. How crazy is that? How crazy is that? He's so great. Mighty Mouse took on a guy who was 250 pounds. He fucked me up. And he just tried to get a Mighty Mouse fucking 250. And he tapped him. The dude was heavier than him by 100 pounds. Look, I was enormous. I got so much bigger than him. That's great. Well, that's what I'm like, god damn, he's great. He is great. And a brown belt. Yup. He's great at everything too. [1:31:02] So this is him going through the tournament. Is that what this is? So this is him and through the tournament, is that what this is? So this is him and the giant dude, look at the size difference. I thought it was Crop Meta. Look how big that did it. This is big. Yeah. What might amounts is so slick. Got him like a trip. Mm-hmm. There it is. And then manage to stay on top, which is really crazy. That's just crazy that you couldn't get him off him. That's technique. Pretty wild. That he's even willing to do this while he's competing. I mean, I think he's the champion over at 1 FC still. So he's still doing MMA, still doing like high level championship fights and he's fighting in the gui and the gui tournament, which is just nuts. Got a love man. Yeah, it's just crazy that he stayed on top of this guy. Then he got his back. [1:32:03] What the time didn't know? No, I think he tapped the guy. Didn't he? I feel like he tapped him. Oh, maybe he did. Yeah, here it is. He got him with some kind of a choke. So he's got his collar. He tapped him. Look at that. That's crazy. No audience. Look at that. That's the thing about Jiu-Jitsu tournaments. No one's there. I mean some of the best look at how he rolled them too. Holy shit pretty wild. Rolled them and held it looks like he's holding on to the collar and tapping them with his collar. Like a bow and arrow? Yeah yeah. Amazing. He's probably the best ever in terms of... I'm not sure. I know. In terms of like pure martial arts technique, I think the best expression of martial arts I've ever seen is my name else. Did you have a hard job yet? Hard to grace you? Yeah. No. He was looking to get on. Okay. I'll get a hold of him. [1:33:01] Because he was down here. Oh, three months ago he was down here. Oh, three months ago he was down. With hands off school. Some, but somewhere, and one of my friends called me and he goes, can you get them on? I got a shot and all this broken booked, you know. Yeah, with events. Yeah, we're booked out pretty far. I get these texts. I love watching. Jiu-Jitsu is so much like comedy. It's so much like comedy. So much, man. In what way? The longer you're in it, the prettier it gets. Mm-hmm. And the, you know, watching Tom, watching you the night, at a point where it's effortless. It's second nature. You know what I'm saying? Like it's just beautiful to see. You know, comedy is great. The 10 year mark is great. The 20 year mark, something happens to you. It really does. Everything clicks. And it's like with this art, you get in there, you get beat up for a year. And then one day you start doing little things and you're like, oh shit, just ain't that bad. Right. [1:34:01] And it's the same thing, but once you put it all together, like what we're talking about, David Tao's special. It's a thing of beauty, man. Yeah. It's a thing of fucking beauty. That's a thing of beauty. My hands get pounced way like that. I know that that's fucking beautiful. Yeah, it's years and years and years of work. I've always loved, like you went to see the black keys last week. I love this. I love that you're going out and catching live music. It makes my dick hard. I wish I went to as much live music as you, but jerseys are fucking nightmare. You know, you have the Star Wamball room and shit. No, I just can't. You know, you gotta, you know, have your metal shit. I can't, but I wish because that's how you get better at all this shit is by getting entertained That's how you that's a money always you say that's getting creative when I want to you a seat fight and saw on the hit Acid and so Anderson kicked that dude in the face. I went right up to my room and wrote a joke I'm like this is fine. You know, it just inspires you. Yeah, that they're that good We used to always talk about and this and how he could look at you and pinpoint the shot and he was accurate [1:35:26] That's a thing I'm gonna blow a Zenflight tonight in that fucking green room. Yeah, yeah, don't swallow those little bags you know swallows. Oh, you gotta do nothing I don't think it's gonna hurt you at this point. I used to swallow gumple. I was 30 They said a gum gets stuck inside. Yeah, that's I swallow gumpefucking. He is I think that's a total math And what you should be better you like I'm like a stop now Now I spit it out before I would always fucking swallow, have you seen that thing that people are doing now? Would they make them swallow a balloon? They swallow a balloon to deal with their weight loss? Have you seen that? No. Yeah, so they swallow this bag. It's like this little tiny thing. It's about that big and it's attached to a tube. And they swallow the whole thing. [1:36:00] And the tubes come out of their mouth as they're swallowing it. So they go for glass of water, they swallow it. It gets down in and then once it's in their stomach, they pump it up and they fill this bag. And this bag takes up a lot of room in your stomach. So you get full much quicker. And so that's the thing that keeps people from, you know, you know, they overeat, they get, they just, they can't stop themselves. They don't feel full people want to feel full and so this bag you swallow this thing Yeah, what are they inflate it with? Is it water? So they go in swallow it take this tube that they were showing it for a second They were showing it and I think when you've lost the weight that you want to lose, they can deflate it. But then my worry would be that then you have this stretched out stomach that needs to get full again. Dog, after I asked your advice on the gastric thing, you said you look into it. I really thought about it. [1:37:02] Not the gastric thing. Just all these get out quick things. Yeah. You know, let's cycle Zempic now. Did you hear what I was talking about last night on the stage? Because I wrote that out the other day. It was a stupid joke, but I think that people are gonna go out on Zempic now. I had a lot of people, and the fat man's gonna come back stronger. Like what's the name of that show the 600 pound fat dude? Yeah my 600 pound life You know all this shit's gonna we're gonna come back bigger and stronger fat dudes You know I'm saying like You're just doing all this shit, but if you just lift weights and walk a little bit and watch yourself just a little bit any bit, you know all these get rich squint schemes Yeah, if I go down to 2.65 I'll do all of them because then I get stuck at 2.65 yeah I get stuck at 2.71 2.70 but you when you did weight watchers you got down low how low were you when you were what I am now that's the lowest you've ever been yeah 270 7 274 274 was my lowest weight but I wasn't [1:38:08] lifting weights I was lighter than that no I wasn't doing shit I was walking and kickboxing no weight and now you're doing weights no you gotta do the weights at the stage I think so very important I think it's important for like bone density for dog you that soccer opinion you lose it quick yeah that's quick yeah and it's still not asking you to fucking be on Olympic lifted for like bone density, that saccopena you lose it quick. That's quick. And they're not asking you to fucking be on Olympic lifted. They're not asking you. Look at all the things. They're not asking you. They're just asking you for 30 minutes a day of resistance training. Yeah. Just a little bit of something to keep the muscles going. The thing about ozempic is some people have pretty bad side effects. And, you know, it's just, essentially it's doing is limiting your appetite. Essentially it's doing something very similar to what this balloon thing does. And I think you can get that done with a high protein diet. [1:39:01] You can limit your appetite by just going on a carnivore diet. I know a lot of people that have done that and lost a lot of weight. Just carnivore. Yeah. You get satisfied way easier. Two eggs. Six eggs for breakfast. Eggs. Eggs in meat and your body just adjusts. Your body turns the protein into glucose and it turns the fats into ketones. For me, it just seems to work better. And I know a lot of people that have had a problem with carbohydrates, they start to, look, I had those guys do it for World Carnivore Month, the comics that have got working out at the gym. I'm like, who wants to commit to this? In time out the January, nothing but meat. And they did it and they're like, dude, I feel so much more energetic. I'm not tired in the middle of the day, I'm like, yeah, that's like a carb crash. You're getting like an insulin crash in the middle of your day because you're eating carbs and sweets and sugar and bread and pasta and rice and all this stuff. If you eliminate that stuff from your diet, it takes a while for your body to adjust. It took me like a couple of weeks when I first did it. But then once your body adjusts, you just feel like you have an extra gear, You have more energy. You feel clear headed. You feel better. I just know all that meat Joe skis to shit on me man. [1:40:06] Yeah. And what way? I don't know. I get a little iffy with a lot of meat. The iffy? Late at night, I could probably blast fucking three eggs in a... Yeah, then have eggs. Scramble eggs on the stage. Eggs are easy. Eggs are easy. They're easy to digest. They're super nutritious, they're so good for you. You could live off nothing but eggs. Eggs are great. Seven grams of protein. Yeah. The reactastin. 21 fucking grams, you know? Not bad. Yeah, it's fucking good for you. And all the stuff that says it's not good for you is nonsense. It's just good for you. Eggs are good, they're healthy. There's our girl like the Conorwood diet. Ooh, Rhonda? Yeah. Yeah, she likes it. But I think she thinks that you should have vegetables too. And some people do think. She's got me and blueberries like a motherfucker. Blueberries are great. She makes you smarter. Really? She's got me and blueberry, yes. Watch one of the things. Blueberries actually make you smarter but interesting. I have no idea and listen to that my attention to my [1:41:06] brain. I love it though. I do everything she says. Anytime she, today she put a video her fucking working out. I wonder how they would figure out whether or not blueberries make you smarter. They give you blueberries and then make you take a test and then make it a third way. She did a third way as you know her bro. A group of six people got together in Norway and fucking blueberries for a month. The thing about that though is you have to look at like healthy, healthy subject bias or healthy statistics bias because like the people that are in that group that are eating blueberries in the beginning or to begin with are probably healthier people. Healthier people might be a little smarter. Like more aware of what what the effects of eating good food does to your body. So healthy user bias is real. I don't know though, I don't know how they did the study. But a lot of those studies are weird. [1:42:01] It's just, you get a sense of what's true and what's not, but also people manipulate those studies. And they make studies designed to get the result that they're trying to achieve because they're trying to sell you something. I get very nervous when all these people are on the Sozinpec stuff. I just get very nervous because Brian Simpson had a horrible side effect. He was fucked. He was wrecked. He stayed at home for days. Listen. From all the experience we have, everything that's come out the last couple fucking days, the last couple years. Here it says, Dr. Ronda Patrick, blueberry concentrate increased brain, brain blood flow, brain activation, and working memory in adults compared to placebo. Hmm, concentrated blueberry juice. Interesting. And so it improves brain function in older people. Let's go. Let's get a blueberry smoothie. Get the party roll. I do them all the time. I put a lot of blueberries, little protein powder. Nice. Bango. [1:43:01] They're good for you. I mean, this is a- What stops that crash and you have to, I've been getting it since I turned 58? Well, I've never slept before on a daytime. Night taking naps. Four o'clock. Yeah. I mean, my world ends. It's the saddest thing. Not even reef her edibles. Nothing. Once you get someone from school, I talk to a, we'll look at the homework, take it all through a room. I go downstairs, my wife gets home, and at about 4'15, I can't even eat. It's not about, I just gotta get up and walk the bed. She knows already. And I crashed for an hour and four minutes, an hour and six. I get up for like 15 minutes, I feel like shit that I'm ready to attack 20 fucking people The first 15 minutes I always feel shitty like man. I shouldn't slept in the afternoon But some days I have it some days. I don't how much carbs you eat I eat that we bread in the morning [1:44:00] and I really wanted to try intermittent fasting Yeah, I get dizzy like I get what Duncan gets. Yeah. You don't eat and drive, like if I don't eat and drive a long distance, I'm done. I get dizzy and shit. That's it with having my friend Tommy? No. Tommy Jr. He was a shovel and snow. Cleanier's driveway out, you got called into work on a Sunday, something happened. And so he's shoveling his snow and, you know, he's not in the best shape. Shovel snow, heavy snow, it's all the whole driveway. Get's done, drives in his car, falls asleep at the wheel and slams into a wall. And you got pretty fucked up, a bunch of broken bones. Yeah, he's still not better. This was months ago. So what was the result of the map from the shovel? Yeah, he just blacked out behind the wheel. Yeah, just exhaustion, you know, not in the best. Like, lifting snow is not good. [1:45:00] It's a motherfucker, dude, it's a real workout. If you get wet snow and you got a whole driveway for that shit and you know, you're digging in and lifting it up and digging in and lifting it up. Your legs, your back, your arm. But if there are a reason isn't the weather contribute to that? To what? To that cold when you come out like I have a friend that went to school with and I came back and how's your daddy died? Shoveling snow. Well, it's a heart attack thing. It's exertion. All right, if you're not in shape Shoveling snow is equivalent to doing like a hard crossfit class If you're not in shape shoveling wet snow. No shit. Remember we live in Colorado. Yeah And the snow was light When it snowed in Jersey last time I shoveled and that's wet. Yeah. And only can that save me with slow amounts. Mm-hmm. Three inches, four inches and I go out there early and get it. If you get an 18-incher, oh, you got it. Then I can't. And then it gets a little warmer and then it starts to melt and then you basically got every shovel full, it's 45 pounds. And KBHD posted this one, you shovel and snow this winter. Yeah, look, it's heart rate is 118. [1:46:06] 1200 calories in 90 minutes. Yeah, 1200 calories in 90 minutes of shoveling snow. It's so crazy. So look at that. Every single smartwatch on Earth should have snow shoveling as a workout type. I don't know a soul in the Northeast that would disagree. It's fucking hard. So if you're out of shape and you burn off a thousand calories like my boy Tommy and then you get behind the wheel You you fucking black out, you know, let's see if whoops got a snow probably that didn't drink enough water. I don't think whoops has a snow shoveling I think you just have to put it in as a regular workout But 90 minutes of work. So save you have to leave your house at 6.30. You got to be out there minimum 5 p.m. shoveling. You got to go, I'll even have an hour and a half. Here we go. So basically you have to have very little clothes on because you're going to sweat your dick off and you're going to be out there. Every fucking shovelful is probably 35, 45 pounds. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch freeze again and then your whole garage all the way down your driveway is going to be ice. [1:47:31] So you got to really scrape it. The ice snow was show for 11, 15 bucks an hour in 1983. I would sit out there shovel snow in case the apartments. The whole snow mass village. Every time people go skiing I know when I will leave and I knew the whole thing. Yeah we did that Newton. I showed that back in the past. I was not a father. It was eight hours a day. No, it was a full-time job. It's no mass village. You just applied for it, 15 bucks an hour insurance. After 90 days, it was a ski pass. They fuck, it was a job. It was a fucking job. That's what it was your job. Now, it's crazy. I'm going this summer. It's just I could just imagine. Beverly Hills and the [1:48:06] mountains. Yeah, I could just imagine. It's all these rich people and it's really weird. It's not what it used to be. No, I know. I know. Like you go watch those old documentaries when Hunter S. Thompson was there. Was he there when you were there? Did you ever see him? Yeah. At Woody Creek, did you go the cat? Woody Creek, Davan? I used to go to get weed in the nachos with fucking delicious stuff. Yeah. Food's still great there. Are you, did you go? Yeah. Is it still open? Yeah, it's still open. Right there a couple of years ago. No shit. Yeah, we went to Aspen for a ski trip and I said we gotta go to Woody Creek, Tavern. Gotta go pay respect. That was a place. Think about an 18 year old kid. Just close your eyes for a minute. There it is. And I'm talking about, no! Yep. Still open. Oh, that changed a lot, dog. Did it? Yeah. What changed? It looks like a place now. [1:49:02] Well, it's not a photos of people on the wall. When I was going in that it looked like fucking a barn. Yeah 83. I had a froncato. The key corn was in there and I told them I go listen you got a deal with me. I love you to death don't knock my door unless you got the best weathe in town. And when you do have the best weathe in town knock on my. I don't get for two in the morning, three in the morning. And he'd come open. Tell me, I got a great weep. We had a little woody creek tavern. First time I went in there. Now you want me to lie to you and tell you I knew who Humpty Thompson was? I didn't know what the fuck he was. First time I went in there. He was in there with Bill Murray. Really? And Don Johnson. Wow. All right. First time went in there. I think no. The second time was Don Johnson. The first time it was Bill Murray. I got my weed. I got the nachos. I didn't say a word. I didn't need to think, you know, there's no pictures then. And I just walked out. And then on the way, the guy was [1:50:00] telling me, what was Tom Simla's that that a year later one the first movie came out The first that was played by Bill Murray played them Mm-hmm. That was where the Buffalo row. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one That's a good one and then I went in there a second time. They saw Don Johnson and that was fucking mind blown. He was hotter than shit on Miami Vice And then I went in there another time and one of the nitty-ditty Grip dirt band With that with Hunter Thompson. It was a fucking party up there Wow, and I didn't I was a kid and they would tell you if you go to Aspen Airport the bar clonies would there every night Aspen Airport, the bar, Clint Eastwoods there every night. Every fucking night. I would not go up there. For some reason I was just scared to meet Clint Eastwood. And then you're young. And Don Henry picked me up hitchhiking? Really? One time. I got in the car and he had that song. It was 83, 84, so he just put out dirty laundry. [1:51:03] And he was big, the boys of summer.84. So he just put out dirty laundry and he was big. The boys and summer. Yeah. I'm in the fucking because Aspen used to have a hitching post. Okay. So when you finish your job at Aspen, you could just go to a hitching post and stand out there. If people went like this, that means that we're going, they weren't going down valley. So if they did this to you, that means that we're just going to like snowmass or scratch that short trip. And people would pick you up all the fucking time and just talk to you. What's going on with you from off from there? You know, and the first time it was done, Henley, and I still lived in basalt and then four to July 83, I moved to snowmass and I was hitchhiking and John Denver picked me up in the Jeep. John Denver? John Denver Joe. John Denver Joe. Wow. And I'm like, come on. This isn't no. And he's like, if you're not doing anything, I'm doing the thing that he does a charity up there, he fucking year or something. I didn't even know. I was just, he's saying come to the show. [1:52:01] Yeah, like come up. It's free as some shit. I'm like, wow. I just moved to Snowmass. I don't know anybody. Don't like a month later, I got a conical in Old Snowmass. There's Snowmass Village and there's Old Snowmass. And I went to Old Snowmass because the guy was from New York and he had hot dogs. And I remember going and seeing Goldie on. We're Kurt Russell like nothing. Sandals on the girl Kate Hudson was a baby. Wow. Maybe two, three, four with her brother, a little brother with a little older than her maybe. I used to see them all the fucking time. Wow. Sydney Portiae's to come into the video store. I was shit. That's when I was asked Rob and Williams for an autograph. I was shit. That's when I asked Robin Williams for an autograph. He told me no, and he had body order. He stunk so fucking bad. He had been in a coke thing for like four fucking days. Oh, no. That was a magical, magical place for a kid at 18. It was just something different, man. And I did a movie with Adam Sandler and Don Johnson was in the back. [1:53:04] And I had to do a scene with him. And after every scene we had to go into this closet and I would talk to him and I go I still remember you when you got chased down Galena Street and he goes you remember that. When Miami Vice was hotter than shit like 86 I was an aspirin and one night we were at like patty begotty's and you see a bunch of people running down the street, there's a bunch of women chasing Don Johnson. Wow. He's fucking running with his bodyguard down the street to ask him, fucking crazy shit. I can't imagine what it's like now. It doesn't have that homie feeling. No, it's a different thing. On the way out of Aspen, when you made that turn out, before you hit that road, the 82. There used to be a fucking diner on the corner and they were known for a crumb cake and you could smell it. So all you smelled when you passed that was the crumb cake and the smell of the chickery, like the burning and people's fucking tremendous. Like I never smelled that before. Like all those things, [1:54:04] it was just, I was like a kid in the candy store had to be a culture shock too right coming from me Jersey Shit and I'm gonna ask man. I'm the first month. I come home and yell at my roommates What the fuck did you do to me? They're all faggot? They all say good morning and hello, and you know people pulling over do you need a ride get the fuck out of him And'm like, no, no, you can't act like that. These people really want to help you. So what brought you to Aspen in the first place? My brother Jimmy Berkel. Had he gone throwing out of the Air Force Academy, and he went back home to get his weights, to get his Olympic weights and speakers. We drove cross-country, he said we're going to Aspen. I knew nothing about it. He said, fuck it over a ride. I was 20 people looking for me, so I had no choice. So I came up at like 1,500 bucks, I bought the car for us to drive in, the axle fell off, and it was weird because he'd call me a date when he was leaving. [1:55:03] But I was planning on robbing this bookmaker for a ton of dough. The guy had money in a like a linen closet and he would have like a register. It was like hundreds in the top 50s in the second show and every time I went in there he would just open up the closet and take money out and pay us. I'm like oh we got a rob this guy. So I was waiting to rob this guy. I didn't want to go because I thought it was like a 20,000 day pay day, right? So I told him just leave and I'll get a plane ticket when he got the Pennsylvania, the Axel fell. So he got to get told back. And once he came back, I knew I had to go. Like that was my sign. Like I got to go. He broke the fuck down this guy to come back. And then I said, fuck, and I went with him. I took just I was 18. I had no family. Nothing going on and nothing to lose. My cousin was up there. I had a Cuban cousin, Tweety, who got caught fucking throwing coke out of a bell. You might tell you that. And then his nephew showed up to my show like a week later. He got coke [1:56:00] out of a bag. He's the famous guy that he was throwing the coke out of their plane. Oh, he lived He lived the last man that motherfucker did 25 years in America and another 15 the Bahamian jail really and he's out now Wow, he's old. Yeah, he's old so I went up there and I just it was It was perfect for what I was just coming out of I lost my mother two years earlier I needed to fucking get some traction and I fell in that place you imagine man I just fell into that fucking place pretty crazy pretty fucking crazy But a good shift of perspective right you get to see a totally different way to live. And I had to figure it out for myself. And I still been up there struggling and joining Colorado Mountain College. No high school diploma. Just walked that one day. I like to take some classes. You've got the money. You can take them. Start taking six credits. Six credits. This is a master's six. No high school diploma. [1:57:04] credits, six credits, a semester, six, no high school diploma. Math classes, the whole fucking thing, history. Then I went to Boulder and I joined continuing at a Boulder. And one day they came to me with a letter, Joe, and they're like, listen, you got too many credits for it. You got a transfer into a college. And I'm like, I kind of know high school diploma. And they're like, well, you can't take classes here. I didn't tell them that. I never high school diploma. And I apply for university Colorado on the Spanish program. There's some program that you had to maintain a 2.0 and fucking garbage. They gave you a tutor. Really? They gave you money on the ass. So I transferred into the university. Colorado, they kept bugging me. Where's your high school transcripts? Where's your high school transcripts? Where's your high school transcripts? I'll whip one up in a second. I didn't know how. I kept lying for them. They're common, they're common. And then finally I got arrested and I had to take my GED. So I said, fuck it. And that's how I got in. When you got arrested, you had to take a GED. Well, when you get arrested, you know, when it was thinking about me, I had to get my, [1:58:07] I had to show the judge I was trying to get my life together. Right. And that was on the list. So I took the GED and then I went to the university in Colorado and then I got thrown in prison. They probably the only guy that's got in college and then went back and got his GED. Can you I was like, fuck him, believe that. There was no computer back then. Yeah, well that, this Colorado at the time. Yeah, bring it next time. I mean, you could have had fake paper work easy back then. How would anybody have known? I didn't want to do that. I wanted to do it, you know, like something. Everything else in my life was shit. Can I have one thing for myself? Right, right. One thing for myself that's, That's what you plan on not doing when you were going to college. Did you ever plan? No, no just take classes just took classes, you know, and then I went to Boulder and [1:59:00] When they transferred me in those were real fucking like classes and that's when I got locked up That was the beginning of the end for me. But I took it seriously, Joe. Everything else was shit. Right. There's the only thing I have that's mine. That is not shitty, you know? Well, sometimes that's what a person needs. It's something that they can dedicate themselves towards because they don't feel like they have anything and there's no direction. They don't know what to do. And they just, you know, that old expression, idle hands of the devil's playground, that's real. That's real. That's real. That's real. That's very real. Yeah. If you don't have a purpose in life, you don't have a direction that you feel like you should be going in, you feel so lost. And you can get sucked into all kinds of things. And you're filled with anxiety. And so then you just skate with drugs. You're trying to find something to make you feel better because you just don't feel good and you feel like a loser. The only thing that makes you feel good is accomplishing things, having a family, having loved ones, having friends, having a community, but accomplishing things too. Those are the only things that make you feel better in life. You know, at that point in my life, I had my drug people, my criminal people, but I had [2:00:02] a couple people that were trying to help me out. You know those people I bumped into you life. I had a high school teacher that was helping me out. I had a bunch of people. And since I didn't have parents, I was dedicating whatever I was doing in their name. Is that hard to say or hard to understand? I didn't have parents. So if you helped me out when I did something, I was doing it for Joe To show them that I'm fucking worth doing that I'm worth spending time. Yeah. Yeah You might think even comedy. I love comedy. I love comedy But I got out of comedy what I wanted to become a man That whole journey of comedy taught me how to be a man It taught you how to watch other comics and be happy for them It's a journey of education being a comedian. It really is. And let me tell you something, to be a comedian, your IQ has to be somewhere high up there. Like the good ones somewhere, they gotta be up over there. Because we're stupid. No, we're not stupid. We figured out how to get to that next level. [2:01:01] And that was for me, that was the most important thing. Becoming a man, what is becoming a man? Just somebody who can contribute to society, pay taxes, not have to steal. I wasn't gonna be a multi-millionaire. That was never in my fucking realm. I just wanted a function first. That was it. I just wanted to be a functioning person, not with cocaine. You know, now we were talking about something the other night. 27 years I did that shit for. I did more when I was cleaning 10 years than I did in those 30 years. So you're always thinking about what you lost, you know, and then I lost those two years to prison and you know, I lost a lot of time fucking around. But look what I did accomplish in 10 years. It was mind-boggling between a marriage, a child, a house, the career, you know, our story. You got on track. Yeah, that was it. Yeah, for me it wasn't, having a jet plane. It was about being a fucking man. Yeah. Just having a normal life. [2:02:01] Being proud of yourself. That's it. Yeah. You three, I got a fucking, I got the Beatles. I got two other people when it's missing. You know, you have a big home. There everything to me. But I never had that. I never had that. I never had, you know, my mother had her life and I had my life. And I appreciated it because it prepared me to be the man I am today, but at that time it's like that line from a pink Floyd song. You were stranger in your own home. You were stranger in your own home. Your parents are doing what they were doing to try to keep the lights on. You're out there delivering fucking newspapers, you know, you were driving a limo. You didn't know what the fuck you were going, but you figured it out. You didn't become stale. You didn't sit on your fucking ass. And that's why I think a lot of Americans are doing now. When I sit here and I go, I did this in 10 years with nothing, you know? That's the thing that people are not considering when they talk about universal basic income, things like that, that you need. You need challenges. You just told me you have a challenge. You want to do some because it's a challenge. Yeah, we challenge it We open up the door. We were supposed to open up the mouth and [2:03:09] Fuck and put a channel lines mouth and sit. Yeah, that's what makes us tick. Yeah, it's to always be working towards something Yeah, I think everybody wants something. There's no fucking way universe I don't want you getting the same hand that I get and that's don't work. They don't handouts do not work name hand that I get. Handouts don't work, Joe. They don't. Handouts do not work. They do not work. For certain people, they work. But for certain, in a mass, they don't work. People are gonna buy stereos and concert tickets. And you know, that comes first. Even at episode, there's some prionals. The chick says my phone's about to get turned off. I got no food and Tony gives her money and then she comes back she goes look at the shoes I got right six hundred dollars and he goes what happened to that You know you got a little that's everybody's mind that was my mind. Yeah, especially we don't have anything. Yeah What's all of a sudden you have twelve hundred dollars look at the fucking Jamie look at the credit card debt that this country's in right now [2:04:00] Did you see the credit card debt all these four hundred dollars you think people have this money? No, what's the credit card debt like? It's fucking insane right now. People are living off their fucking cards, Joe, since the pandemic. Now it's becoming second nature. It's just a card. I don't know if you've ever been in card debt. You're never going to get out of it. Unless our chunk comes into your life. Right. Not your little $4,000 tax return. It's gotta be a chunk or you're never gonna get out of that fucking debt. I was in huge debt. Huge. Huge. Credit card? No, I got rid of all that. What's your debt? You know, one day, well, God, but I owed. Look at this. maxed out inside America's credit card debt crisis and what we do next and this is from CNET. It says, our 1.13 trillion in credit card debt. Wow, it's shattering lives. Everyday borrowers share how they're navigating [2:05:00] this uniquely American debt machine. That's a lot of money, man. And the thing is they're giving credit cards to people that are too young to really understand debt. You're giving credit cards to 18-year-olds. No way. That's when I failed. No way. And you know what people... There's a lot of shit going on in colleges. Oh, the colleges say it's the worst. When you get to work to know that just, you know. That's the worst scam. The worst scam is the education loans. It's the worst scam. It's the worst. Cause you're convincing kids that this is the only way they're gonna be successful in life and a lot of them don't even want to be using it and then they're saddled down with debt for the rest of their fucking life. And there's not a lot of good options other than that. It's not like there's a lot of other things that you could look to like this is a better way to go. Like no, like college for a lot of people is like the only path it seems reasonably lit. Like that path, I could see where that path is, I'm gonna walk down that path. And then also in your 100,000 in debt, 150,000 in debt, you're like, and then you get a job at a college and it's for $52,000 a year, you're like, oh my God. How am I going to pay this money off? Well, you're not. You're not. You're never going to and they and they don't stop. No. [2:06:07] And the middle of my interest to dog in the middle of my debt, a fucking student loan popped up. Really? And they weren't taking no deals. They weren't taking a penny on the dollar. They wanted a full $3,000 from fucking 1980 something. Yeah. They're not fucking around those school loans. We have a friend, a mutual friend. Yeah. That decided not to get married. As much as he loved this fucking girl broke up with her because of her debt. Yeah. He goes, if I marry her, 15 grand a month or something, she, you know. It was something crazy. It was something crazy like her school loan yeah he goes I can't marry into that when they were gonna she has a kiddinner he is that's on me right well it's on you right away when you get married and if she dies you owe it yeah it's one of those deals on you you can get married and who knows how many what is the number like what is the [2:07:02] number that she owed do you remember big big hundreds attorney and She started taking money and take them world trips Because once you get those student loans So yeah again, it's a credit card mentality. I'm already in debt. Yeah, they're all from me this That's credit card to go to Europe. Yeah. You know, one last blast to add to the fucking nut. Drama I already have. And then you gotta find some insanely rich guy to rescue. Don't, I remember having no credit between you and I didn't know what credit was. Okay, I had no idea. I knew cash. I came from a cash society. First time I walked into the university of Colorado and signed those fucking loan papers and that Pell Graham paper, I think two days later I had a credit card. But if I went on a limit, I didn't even know how to handle it. And then they told me that you just call them and get the limit up and I kept calling. And then you don't know, the limit's still stuck and now you have to go to casino to have the fucking pit boss [2:08:09] Call your visa card. That's how they always got money. Just give you credit card to the pit boss Right. This is 30 years ago. No, not now Well, you can just give the credit card to the pit boss and he could call visa for you when they ramp it up Yeah, they ramp it up not anymore. Good news, Mr. Diaz. You got an extra $2,000. Booyah! Let's go. Let's go. Yeah, do you remember that scam where you would get like 10 cassettes for like a dollar? Do you remember that? I don't know. Columbia House. Columbia House. I don't go to Indiana You never seen me do anything in Indiana. I must love Columbia house 10 million dollars. Are you stupid? I don't go to Indiana. That's Terahot Indiana Right look it up. I still remember what that motherfucker came from. I don't even go to Indiana Just I don't even want them to remember and then you would have to buy a three albums. Yeah, fucking was it every month? [2:09:02] 12 for a penny 12 hot hits for a cool penny. I don't even think it was CDs back then. Let's start it again. Look, it says cassettes or records. Wow. So how did they make money? Because everything was re-recorded. So they took Santana Alms and then put it on like a cheap cassette of something. Oh really? Like it was something three. So they re-recorded it? Oh, I thought it was. No, no, it was real. It was real music. No, no, no, it's the band. I thought it was different. But it's something that's just catch here. There's some catch. So you had to buy, well, I have a 12-hots for a penny on the paper and scats tape it. Stop right there. AOL may have had the most prevalent mail-in magazine based marketing campaign in the 90s, but a close second goes to both Columbia House, which is owned by Sony and BMG, which is owned by RCA. It was a common sight in magazines of all shapes and sizes to see ads like the one above, which promoted extremely cheap collections of music [2:10:01] and exchange for signing up for a membership. It even singlehandedly helps some CDs become hits. Who'd he in the blowfish, for example? It's said to have sold over three million copies of crack rear view through the service. I was gonna try to skim through to find them. Yeah. What it was. I think what they did is that you would sign up for a credit card bill with this and then all of a sudden you'd start getting built like 20 bucks a month. Yeah. And it was really hard to stop it. There was no credit card in my day. That was just send the penny. You get 12. Yeah, I don't remember a credit card. I don't remember signing up with a credit card. Oh, not a credit card. You sent the penny. You sent the penny. There it is, degraded audio quality. In 94, a stereo feature analyzing whether the quality of Columbia House or BMG CDs was actually much lower than one could find in a traditional record store. The belief which hasn't been confirmed was that the service was using lower quality master tapes and on high quality equipment, one could tell the difference, but that said it wasn't confirmed. [2:11:00] Lack of royalty payments, here's another one, go up. So it says, um, mental floss notes that those free CDs generally cost Columbia House $1.50 each to create a fairly low amount overhead those days. The reason why it was so low, well, they didn't have to pay royalties on the giveaways and made the money back on the margins. In other words, that Nirvana album you got for free from Columbia House netted Kurt Cobain a grand total of $0.00. Wow. So they didn't get paid for those. So the model the company used relied on customers essentially forgetting that they had subscribed to the service and then sending random CDs or cassette tapes to people that haven't asked for them along with a bill. Yep. So kind of thing happened with like a girl's gone wild. Like you'd get one and then they just keep sending you a new video every month. Tell us more, Jamie. What happened to you? I never paid for it, but I do remember getting a few free DVDs in the bill. Hi, profits after the freebies run out, after you got these cassettes and dish-shipped your way, the company charged high amounts to consumers, but they also kept most of the profits on the album sold. [2:12:05] Mental floss suggested the company made as much as $7.50 on each album shipped. Wow. So how much the bands got paid for those from Columbia House? Aggressive bill collection tactics. Consumer affairs and ripoff record of each report pages on the service and its collection agency tried in asset management that go back for miles if you haven't paid for those CDs you got back in the 90s They're probably still looking to shake you down for your money Joey doing in the 90s. I didn't know the 70s Long time ago, you know what I'm saying. I still remember the oh album I got you know what the fucking first time I got from Columbia house was By by miss American pie. Oh done whatever is now is it was it done What was his name I forget that I got like [2:13:01] John McClane don McClane don't answer it. I John McClain, John McClain, that's right. I still remember that one I bought like uh, oh the one Santana Braxis. That was the song that would come on parties never to just start singing. Yeah. This would be the great fucking song. Great jam. Yeah. What did Tyson Fury have the entire audience sing that after one of his fights. I think Tyson Fury sang that fucking song. That's a joke. To an entire audience. That was jump up and down. Which one? The one by Neil Diamond. They have the new commercial with a bunch of black people in Mexicans in the bar jumping up and down and I'm like black people in Mexico will never jump up. What songs? They say, I, which song? You said it too fast, I'm like having a mind blind blink right now, but it's the thing like a baseball game is a lot. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it All the time Gentiles get together sweet Caroline Guys me fucking crazy. Oh my god. He does he sings that one too. Yeah, I love Neil Diamond [2:14:10] No, just I but that song when it comes on a bar and I see it's not the song. It's people's reactions Yes, it drives me crazy and now they have a Budweiser commercial son Sweet like brothers and Mexicans jumping up and down stop stop it It's great fucking song Tyson Fury recovered a cover. Yeah. Motherfucker. Oh, I love that guy. That's the way they end the boxing match by some. Oh my god. That's fucking great. Incredible. And he got the whole crowd to sing along. They all stayed. Most people leave when the fights over. Especially when you win by knockout, they stayed. Because they want to hear him talk. You know, unusual that is. Where a whole crowd is willing to stay to listen to the guy talk. Watch what happens at a UFC main event. When say like someone wins, there's a few people who stick around, they want to see the post-fights beach, but most people are head for the fucking door. [2:15:07] If Leon Edwards starts singing Sweet Caroline. I love it. I'd be great. I love Leon. That'd be great. Or something, something that people know. There's a few of those songs that everybody knows. Somebody with a Brazilian accent. Oh yeah. Yeah. Or Boy Romero. Right. To six weeks. Yo, no. Thanks, we Caroline. Joey, this is day that was one of my favorite podcasts of all time. You translating for YoL Romero. I had me lost. Did he? My Spanish is fucking, you know, I gotta be around those people every day. You're pretty good. You're pretty good. You're pretty good. I know he was you know It's just what a character that guy is bro. He just won. He just he still hits me. Yeah, he's telling He's a good good guy. He's a he just be Tiago Silva in in PFL versus Bellator [2:16:08] I know you. He's the best man. That guy. Imagine what would happen if that guy got into MMA at 22. He didn't even get to the UFC to his in his late 30s. That guy would have killed everybody. What is he now? He's 46, 47. Yeah, he just beat Tiago Silva. Tiago Silva's still legit. Still fucking super dangerous. That's great. Tiago Silva went to a split decision with John Jones. Yeah, that guy. You while we're married just beat him. Make sure it's a split decision. That might not be correct. I want to be sure about that. But it was a close fight. Close fight. But he got in... He's a good fighter. John fucked his knees up though. Ooh. John destroyed that, dude's knees. Why don't you just John come back? Well, John tore his pec muscle. It's a big one. [2:17:00] Torred off the bone in wrestling practice. You could actually see it in the video. He shoots and they're in the scramble and he just screams and falls back and grabs his chest. Split decision. Split decision. Yeah, so on one judges' scorecard, Diago Silva beat the greatest fighter of all time. Excuse me, Toggle Santos beat the greatest fighter of all time. And then Yoel just beat him. I mean, I know it's been a slide since then, what was that 2017? What year was that, Jamie? 2016? It doesn't say the date on Wikipedia. I'm looking at their main page. Social stats, but That's interesting 19 okay, so that's not that long ago man five years ago Yo-L is I think he's at least 46 it turns 47 at the end of April he looks fucking great [2:18:08] He looks fucking great. He moves fucking great. He looks great. He doesn't look slow. He doesn't look old. He's slow America's top team That's a good question I don't know who's always comes up with the Cuban scientist Yeah, come on from Cuban stuff someone's doing something right You know they just popped one of the UFC guys all hair and god. He's got four years. Four years. And he's 40. So that's essentially a career ender. You know? But when you're 40 dude, in your fighting, in your training every day, you're doing two of days and three of days, like, bro, you're fucking, your testosterone gets beat down. Your system gets beat down. You're putting a tax on your system that's very hard to deal with at that age. Oh, yeah, it's a big difference. You get a guy who's 22 years old and you put him through a fight camp. That's a guy with a camera cover. As long as he's doing the right things, he's eating right and he's sleeping right and he's hydrating right, he can recover. You can get through the camp. It's hard shit. I mean, a real fight camp for MMA is one of the most difficult [2:19:06] endeavors in all professional sports. You have to fight five rounds, 25 minutes of actual fighting in a championship level fight and you're getting kicked and punched and wrestled and you're getting taken down. You're trying to get back up. The exertion level is so insane. you're trying to get back up the exertion level is so insane. When you watch Cheeto vs. Sugashan at the end of that fight, even though Sugashan put on a clinic, he put on a clinic. At the end of that show, he was beat the fuck up. He walked out of there with a foot cast, an arm cast. He's limping through the hallway. And he won. And then Cheeto's just busted up, man. His Cheetos just busted up. His whole face is busted up. I mean, those guys are exhausted. They went through hell and it took them 12 weeks to get into kind of peak physical condition just to be able to do that. [2:20:00] I mean, it's a crazy way to make a living man. And you're depending on all these things that break so easy. All this stuff, you're gonna use this to make your living and feed your family. You have a wife and kids, and you're gonna depend on your tissue and your bones to stay in place while you're smashing people in the face. And you're getting smashed, you're getting your arm barred, and you're getting your leg ripped. All this shit is happening to you. Your neck's getting tweaked. Your back falls down. You're tweaking. You're lower back. Your hamstrings fucked. Your hip hurts now and you're fighting to hurt. You're going to fight. They all fight hurt. They all fight hurt. Like you said, 12 weeks and shit happens. Yeah. Anything to that. And you know, you got to figure out a way to make it into the cage. And so some of them like Tom Aspenal, he didn't even, he fucked his rib up, preparing for that fight with Sergei Pavlovich. So he like, he could even wrestle. He's fighting. This gigantic terrifying Russian [2:21:01] who knocks everybody into the dark dimensions and he can't even wrestle. He can't take terrifying Russian who knocks everybody into the dark dimensions and he can't even wrestle. He can't do the one thing that you would think he needs to do to that guy. Pavlovich fucks everybody up, fuck Derek Lewis up standing. He fucked a lot of people up, tied to Ivasa. He's fucking people up, beating them up standing. He's a dangerous cat. He's giant. He's giant. He's a giant. And Aspen all couldn't even, you know, he had to take that chance and it worked out for him. But then look, Islam Makachev, you know, when he had to rematch with Volkanovsky, he's preparing for Charles Olivera, Charles Olivera gets cut, Makachev steps in, or Alexander steps in with fucking 11 days notice. And he rematches where the guy has gone through a full camp. It's crazy. That doesn't happen in boxing ever. If Tyson Fury gets cut 10 days before he's supposed to fight Anthony Joshua, they don't just call Usic up and go, what are you doing in 10 days? [2:22:01] That never happens ever, especially at a championship level not just championship level But the two guys who are widely considered to be the very best pound for pound fighters in the world Number one and number two up until the Ilya Tuporio fight number one and number two and most people's eyes up until the second Mocha Chev fight before that fight it was Volkanovsky was like there was the debate whether it was Makachev or Volkanovsky was number one and So Makachev knocks him out with a head kick He's only had 10 days to prepare it doesn't look the same he gets rocked He gets beat up in that fight and then he goes and fights to pour in he gets knocked out So the whole world that you live in you go from being the best pound for pound fighter on earth the fucking man To just months later, you're not even the best in your division anymore. The best guy in your division just knocked you unconscious and now he has your belt and he's 10 years younger than you. That dude is tight too. Yeah, he's really at the parry or whatever. He's fucking tight. [2:23:01] He's dangerous. He's tight. He's tight. Everything is so sharp. His technique is flawless. He's tight. He's tight. Everything is so sharp. His technique is flawless. Everything is flawless. His boxing is so dangerous. He's so dangerous everywhere. He's dangerous with submissions. He's dangerous with kicking. He's dangerous. His heart is dangerous. He fought this dude, Jay Herbert. And he went up to 155 for that fight. So he's a 45 pounder. And he said, fuck it, I'll take a fight of 55. He gets head kicked in the first round by, Gai Herbert is a nasty standup fighter. He's so good, he's real slick. He's real good standup, like real sharp standup and he caught Toporia with the perfect head kick. And Toporia, you're like, he's're in real trouble he got dropped and he scramble got a hold of them next round sent him into the dark lands blasted him against the game I mean literally slept him face planted him and walk off KO he's an animal do he's a real [2:24:01] he's a real problem because he's intelligent he's dedicated he's's driven, he's got that kind of confidence that those championship guys have where they know they're the best, even before they're the best. He knew he was the best, even before. He's literally fighting the best guy ever in that division and he's telling everybody I'm going to fuck this dude up inside of two rounds. Let's see if I can get a good question. I don't know who he's fighting next. So he wanted to go up and fight Islam Makachev at 155. And then that was talk. People talked about that. And then they were also talking about, Shaka Shahn said he wanted to go up and fight Toporia. But Toporia said, no, I want you to fight Mirab, who's also from Georgia, just like Ilya is born in Georgia. And Mirab is the rightful guy that should be fighting in 35, so that's going to happen there. But if Sean gets past Mirab, you could see a world where they can make a champion versus [2:25:01] a championship fight at 145. But Ilya Toporia essentially is kind of cleaned out the division already. The real dangerous guys, like Josh Emmett, he peace that dude up. Wow, he peace Josh Emmett up, he beat his ass. He's just so good man. And he fought different with Emmett because Emmett is terrifying. That guy's just a behemoth. At 145, that dude puts people to sleep. He's that guy that knocked out Bryce Mitchell with that one punch. That's right, that's right. Oh yeah. Josh Hammond is a terrifying striker. He just throws everything into every punch and he knows all he has to do is hit you once. And so that's how he fights. And so Ilya just fought real clever. Just moved in, moved back, moved in, moved back, didn't charge forward. Just aware of the power until he could start piecing them up and then just start piecing them up. It just so tactically he's so smart. So it's not just his ability to skill. It's knowing when to apply it and how to adjust to different kinds of fighters. [2:26:00] But the Jai Herbert one might have been the most impressive one dude. He got hit see if you can find that he got head kicked He gets hits with a with a switch high kick off the left leg right to the face man I mean like this like boom like you he just dropped which is you know 99 times out of a hundred is like the beginning of the end look at this Look at that left high kick watch this boom It's like the beginning of the end. Look at this Look at that left high kick watch this Boom. I mean dude. He got fucking cracked on the chin dude. Look how perfect it is perfect I mean is a perfect high kick and Gi Herbert's dangerous dangerous, too, but he got lucky That he got a hold of a leg, you know leg, and also that he didn't try to stand up. He actually got knocked down. If he was standing up, J. Herbert could have caught him with a bunch of other shots and put him away. Cause once you get hurt, if you can get a hold of someone, it gives you at least seconds to try to clear your head. [2:27:00] Cause sometimes it takes your head, like a few seconds to reboot. you can still hold on to someone while that's happening and Maybe you can survive so in the his case he did but now show the knockout show Toporia knocking out jai Herbert so in the second round He just times times him with this right hand from hell and It's it's a good fight up until then man. Jai Herbert is a tall what what do this? He's a tall 55 and you can see by his movement, like very skillful striker, very dangerous and long. So Ilya gets him up against the cage. We either rip to the body, boom. Oh my God. Bro, but look at the combination before that. He sets it up by a left to the body. Watch this left to the body. Watch it. Boom. Bang. Hard left hook to the body, right hand over the top. Look at this. Boom, right to the liver, boom. And bro, that was a solid liver punch too, because you see him breathe out after he gets hit. Show that right there again, right before, watch. [2:28:01] He gets hit with this left to the body, looking to breathe out. Poo, see his mouth fill up? That's like, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo And then he hit some of that right hand over the top to Poryus. Terrifying. Terrifying. To go back to where you were talking about earlier, with Yoel and this fucking guy I was watching this morning, he's 39 years old. Fucking LeBron. LeBron was awesome. He looks awesome. She's got Chelson's, he's been rantin' and screaming. He's on steroids. Everyone knows he's on steroids Guys 39 he's averaging 35 minutes of fucking game. He's top five. Yeah, and the NBA in minutes Do they test NBA players? I don't know. I don't know. Jamie. What are they testing for? They tested for like testosterone placement alcohol [2:29:01] No, Reefa Not refer no, no, they can't they can't they won't have a leak. It's too good for it's too For it's the same reason why it's so good for pool. It's got to be so good for basketball puts you in that zone Which is feel it you feel things more anything you feel it. Yes, put you in that fucking. You know I we had music on yeah, my Zeppelin came on and sit there and also I went back on my This is the reason I smoke hot mm-hmm. That's the reason I would never have done a drug But I knew was gonna sound a lot better with that reefer. It does isn't it crazy? Food tastes better. That's good. Well better lifting weights. Oh my god. He feels like riding a bike with reefa. I don't do a reef is wrong Fuck you. You don't do Getsu no no no interesting. No a lot of people do I don't give a fuck including this guy I know no no that donkey dude. No. I went to seminar. He was smoking Jeff. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah [2:30:07] He was hilarious Jeff Glover. Oh, yeah, he's hilarious. He's hilarious, though. Yeah, he's fucking good He's good too. He's good. You know that refish it somebody mounted me once and I was That was it time out time out no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, famous for spending money on his recovery, right? Massage is cold plunges and so on. Everything. Everything. Gotta give it to him. You have to. He's at the very top of his game and he's worth a billion dollars. You know what I mean? He's a billion dollar property. He's at the top of his fucking game. I mean, and he looks like a superhero. [2:31:02] I mean, LeBron looks like a superhero. You look at him like good Lord. Show a photo of him like his body. There's any shirtless photos of LeBron? Let me take my pants off. You don't know any of it. You know, you don't, you won't know this because it's basketball. But like to look at that. Yeah. And how tall is he? Six, eight, seven, eight. LeBron died, LeBron James diet reveals he eats like shit, but trains. Wow, I don't know what this is. He eats a lot of candy, but as that's when he was younger too. Wow, he, I mean, he's good too, man. He's also slimmed down from where he was back when he was younger, like his first five years in the league, they argued he could be up to 300 pounds. So is this him now? That's him now. He's quite close to like 260. Okay. So he definitely looks slimmer in that picture that he did in the other picture where he was lifting weights. Sure. But that was also right off, you know, right out of in the gym. Mm-hmm. It says that he appears to have lost 10 to 12 pounds instead of that photo. So yeah, you see that photo in the gym. But dude, still shredded. [2:32:07] Looks like an MMA fighter. He looks like he could be like a UFC heavyweight champion. He shredded. I got no problem with a professional athlete doing whatever he needs. Yeah, well as long as they're not a fighter. Because you're a professional. If the fighter is not, I know that's tough. Yeah, I'm talking about like for recovery, you know, that stuff. Yeah, he looks great. It's a new shit that Dylan and training with people. Yeah, is is just, you know, I go to basketball game and I told you, I see those athletes that Jason kid from fucking Boston, Doug, when he goes to the basket, you're not stopping him. It's unreal how quick he is when you watch and he's six but six Hmm these guys are super fucking athletes. Well, it's like everything else Joey They get a chance to see the people before them and then they get better They get better than those people like every sport if you in, there's always gonna be the few outliers like Muhammad Ali. [2:33:06] If you took Muhammad Ali from 1967 and brought him to the heavyweight division today, he be fucking people up. They wouldn't know what to do with him. There's so many fighters he would fuck up. But he's just a complete outlier. But you know, there's other like Michael Jordan, complete outlier. Any generation you put in, man man he's gonna fuck people up. Larry Bird, complete outlier. Any generation he's gonna score from the court. But if you get the overall, the athletes, like UFC today is the best example of it, because it's one of the clearest, you could go to 93, 2024, and you see this massive evolution. You see these people that are fighting on the undercards of these fight cards, like the UFC fight cards, the fight night cards, they have the smaller cards, they do it the Apex Center. You see in World Championship caliber fighters from 10 years ago, they would probably beat a lot of World Champions, and this is their UFC debut. [2:34:02] That's how good these guys are. They revolve a lot, everything is a lot of the life. It's amazing. It's amazing the training when you look at them. Did you see this past fight night this last weekend with Rose Nama Eunice? No. No. In the undercard, this kid Cameron Simon, who's like one of the best guys at 135, very slick striker South African kid like very tough very good kid he fought this dude um Peyton Talbot and I'd never seen this guy fight before this kid is a mother fucker dude he's so good he's 25 years old he's fought like once I think in the UFC and once in the contender series. And this is my first time watching him. And I was like, Jesus Christ man. He's so fucking now that doing this is that 12. Mm hmm. Now they're doing this at 12 and they dedicated them. And there's MMA classes. See if you can find that knockout. [2:35:02] See if they find find the the knee he would hit him within the first round. I think in the beginning of the fight he was fucking him out. I think everything has a window. That's what we're getting to. Like especially with the UFC, it's when you get to the UFC, you have to give yourself a window. Because after a while, that's the thing about fighting. You'll go on forever. Yeah, there's very few guys that are like Jim Miller. Jim Miller still fighting at a world class level. Brad Tavaris, you're still gonna have to fuck out. Oh Brad Tavaris. He's a strong one. He just beat Chris Whiteman. I love Brad. He looked fantastic. Yeah. Tavaris. That was a like kick. Yeah. He was kicking him. Oh my god. Yeah. Kickin the shit out of him. Yeah. And just looked slick. Look very good. Very good with his stand up. But now you got these guys remember these guys got into it in 18 when they got college, they were rest loose. These kids you've been a punk man. That's the thing you gotta really about Brad. Brad was thrown to the lion's den when he was like in his early early 20s. I think Brad's only Brad DeVaris. Oh yeah, he's only, I think he's only 33 yeah, he's a kid he's been around forever. He fought yo-yo back in the day [2:36:12] Yeah, he's fought a lot of fucking people the people man. Yeah, so those guys, but those guys come one the dozen Mm-hmm, you know longevity right you know Jim Miller's the most extreme example of it He fought UFC 100 fought UFC 200 and he's gonna fight in UFC 300 Like what the fuck dude and he looked looks awesome. And he still teaches. Yeah. Well no he doesn't do that anymore. That's also what's helped him a lot. He sold his gym. Okay. It was too much. He explained that when he came on the podcast, it's just too much work. You're dealing with so many different things. And so now that he could just like concentrate on just his camps and get ready. It's much better. He probably still teaches some classes. I think he enjoys teaching. I think running the gym was the real problem. A lot of work, man. I think I'm correct. A lot of common going you get to. Yeah. Also you're dealing with personality issues. And if you run a business, [2:37:00] you have to deal with people that are arguing with other people there. You're like, oh God. And then this guy might be stealing money or this guy might be doing something he's not supposed to be doing. He said he was doing this, but he's doing that. He's trying to cut corners and like, fuck. And you have to deal with this and that. The business you have to be that. These martial artists, I open up these schools, I open up like a chain of them and then never out one of them. Yeah. And then what's going on? You never know. Yeah, you'd have to really trust the people that are running that school for you. They'd have to be like really well trained in the part of your family. You know, you could pull it off. Like the machados have done that. They've had machados have had various machado satellite schools that are owned by John Jock's black belts and they're always great. They're great They're always great. John Jock is on a different level. Yeah, and by me I have the graces Mm-hmm, and they got it down to a side. Oh, yeah, they really you know, I was talking to Ralloy the other day And we were just talking like Ralloy, think what's around me? I [2:38:07] Got Tom. I got the silver fox. I got what's his name is an hour from me Ricotta on May the yeah, I got all those guys right in my right there We were talking about it. He's like you're in heaven that it's a great. Jitsu environment. It's a beautiful fucking and it's all Hanzo, mm-hmm Hanzo all those black belts are silver Fox fucking Hanzo's got an empire. Oh fucking empire. He's got guys in LA's got guys here. He's got guys everywhere. He's got schools everywhere. He's got the school in Brooklyn. They're all great. They're all great. You always hear great things about all of his school. Listen, my lunchtime guy, he just took second in the pan hams. That's wild. He's great. He's great. He's got to teach his lunchtime classes. Yeah, he's wait. That's awesome. Like a baby. Have you throw like a baby? I love him. And he's changed the class, you know? But what my point was that in two years that I've been there, lunchtime class, it's a whole new set of people every 90 days. You still got a couple of brown belts that are older than they come. [2:39:01] But it's just, it's a never-ending door. Four people sign up, four people quit. Three people, you know, it's one of those things. Right, right. And once you get the blue belt, they disappear. Some of them do, yeah. No, a high percentage of it. Yeah, what is the number of people that go past blue belt? It seems like they get happy that they have a little something, little kind of a belt, and then they keep going. And it's hard though, you get injured. You know, and you have to learn how to roll correctly. Like where you gotta tap, tapping's important. You gotta tap to save your body. Too many people fight out of shit that you shouldn't fight out of. Just learn how to not be in there. This is it. So this is the dude. So Cameron Simon, first of all, a high level contender. This is the dude so Cameron Simon first of all a high level contender This is the end of the fight when he's fucking him always shit But you got to see like the stand up before that like in the first round is some of the most impressive shit I mean, he's just he moves so good man, and he's got high power Look at this flop that knee right there back it up a little bit before that [2:40:04] So this combination he catches him with. And it's just the timing. Like look at the timing on this knee, watch this. Boom. And if you hear it, it sounds like a baseball bat hit in a coconut. I mean, it's a perfectly timed knee. He was just so fucking devastating. And just look like he was having fun in there. And this kid's 25 years old, right? So this kid, when you look at him, he's got this very interesting personality. You hear him talking like, okay, you're looking at a future superstar. And there's a lot of these, look at that left hook, tight, tight left hook. Ooh, there's a lot of these guys right now. There's so many people coming up right now that are so high level. Like one, two fights into the UFC. You look at them like, good Lord. That's a world championship caliber fighter. What a fucking heart, Korea. Are you right? That's the hardest. Oh, it's the hardest. Last night, two tonight, some kid came up to me with a Houston shirt at the club Lawrence get camel, arrow camber. And I'm gonna think I'm about him, [2:41:06] he's in a fucking wheelchair. You know more that running, he didn't have the technology we had. Right. You know the turn things around. Hips and knees and knees. Yeah. And that's a fucking nightmare. But now we're learning. You know, obviously over time and mispatric studies and shit like that. We've learned more about it. Jiu-jitsu for me is 61. So I go to class. I do all the drills. I do the warm-up. When it comes time to roll, I look around. I pick and choose. You know, you have to. Yeah. And I know what I'm there for. I'm not there to go to competition. I'm up to I'm not there to go to a competition. I'm out these big world fighters. Right. I you know I go to Jiu-Jitsu for the social I love it. I love it. I love going in getting sweaty I could beat up mine other ten times. You know that yeah, but doesn't matter to me. That's comedy you get beat up Right and you get better you learn how to outlast the show. It's good for you too. It's good for fucking an older person, but you have to know what you're going in there for right [2:42:06] You're not going in there to fucking tap the blue bell to the purple boat You're gonna need to defend yourself. I'd watch all Hickson is my boy You know and I watch all his tapes and shenny was he does a thing about you thinking that we're gonna go on until the gym later on This is my advice and I took it like a tea pick two days Pick two days a week and go stick to those two days. I do a core class every week and I do a blue bow class every week That's it. I lift weights. I ride the bike. I do all the other shit. I box my garage, you know But I enjoy it the process is great. I'm not good at it, but I go and Some days you get a good fucking role and some days you get beat up But at least you're getting exercise and sweat Talking a guy's thing to do you stay in a little younger because you're talking to younger guys These guys are all cops. Well, it's also your you're in the moment like when you're doing jiu-jitsu You're literally trying to defend and I said choking me. I'm like you cocks up [2:43:03] I'm a shit that giggle your. I yell at him and shit, they giggle. You're the guy that had my back, a brother. I love this guy. And I'm looking at he's choking me and I'm trying to defend the choke. I'm trying to get him down. And I was like, oh, for a brother, you guys can eat feet. He goes, motherfucker. The fuck is wrong with you. I'm an old man. The fuck, you know what, be a fuck. Jesus Joey. That's hilarious. And that's what it's about. Yeah. It's about a bunch of guys. A lot of older guys in the daytime. That's great. That's three or four guys older than me. That's great. This is a 67 year old. He's a sexy seven year old. He's nasty Joe. That's awesome. But he's a black belt and tight one dope. Like he had a tight one dope school for all those years. But there's a couple old, because the guy looks just like fucking, he got an inventive electricity. Edison. Edison. That's what they call when he comes in. He finally got a haircut. He don't look all fucked up no more. But I fuck around with him on Mondays. He's great. He's a jikun dog guy. Oh wow. He's done jikun. You know, these old guys are fucking great. [2:44:06] So it's social. Lot of cops. You know? It's fun thing to do too. It's very fucking fun. And it's also one of those things that while you're doing it, you can't think about anything else because it's so difficult to for your brain. Doug, when you have it a rough day, like the phone's ringing and you're like, you know what, fuck this. We want this by one. This was do it, two-thirty, you know what? Fuck you. Who wanted you to get this? Yeah. You can't bother me. I don't even bring my phone upstairs. Also, it's so much harder than anything else you're gonna do. That everything else just seems easier. I look at that whoop watch and I can't believe I burn like 400 calories in the last we get the blue bow class You wear a whoop while you did you get to yeah, I just crashed people with that thing. No, it's hidden under here Okay, he said you can put on your arm. Oh, you can put an arm one on right that's right You can put the chest one on you know, and I see the people that are getting hurt is the 30-year-olds that going at it killed themselves. Mm-hmm. They're doing they're starting from their feet [2:45:06] Mm-hmm, you know fuck all that shit. Yeah, you know days are over you ain't throwing me to get with her You know, I'm not gonna grab you either. Yeah You passed the guard You know you do little thing you fucking Dolla he's like you know shit like that. That's it man. You go on. Yeah, I'm not looking to be a killer, I'm not going to be a bodyguard. I'm just looking to get an exercise. How much are you getting up on stage in Jersey? Twice a week, yeah. Not good enough. Yeah, just to keep the dust off it. But it's not good enough. It's not good enough at all. I write a lot more. I noticed that this last year I've been giving away jokes. I just talked to comics and go take this because I'm mungly use it. Right. You know, I just think of shit. And I write it down. It's fun, man. I forgot how much fun it is to write. It's real fun, but you gotta be in a place where you could do it all the time. All the time. You know, that's that's the beautiful thing about here. All the time. No know you were telling me that that's crazy. [2:46:06] This is gonna be a fucking utopian here. Those big cities are gonna be forgotten about for comedy. Yeah, they're gonna be doing comedy, but not like you're doing it down here. Not with eight clubs around you in 161 Niders. It's also just exciting because it's a new thing. Like there was never a scene like this here before. So now the scenes here and so many great comics are here and it's a new thing. The guys are getting better too. They're getting better. Do you see Derek last night? I sure. Derek Poston? No, what are you saying? They've seen, do you see a song? A song's improved, bro. Holy fuck! Bro, he got a lot better. He got a lot better. He's confident right all the time works hard He was on the core crew and the workout the workout crew. He's one of the course. He's always there Where do you have him right here and the gym and what time do they come we do it? It wasn't I don't say on the air, but we do it [2:47:00] You do it every day. No depends different days It took some time off and you got them doing kettlebells I got them doing all kinds of stuff pushing the sled hitting the bags. I got them doing tabatas I do intervals on the bag I explained intervals from tabata intervals of 20 seconds work 10 seconds rest So you just cycle of eight so Mm-hmm, so I give them gloves and I say don't try to be a hero This is what I want you to do just This is how you throw a left hand. This is how you throw a right hand. Just I want to see you hit the bag just like this. You're not going to try to do it hard. I just want you to do it constantly. And most of them have hit a bag or something before a little bit. And so I say don't worry about hitting you're gonna do it for 20 seconds at a pretty fast clip and then you're gonna rest for 10 and do 20 seconds rest for 10 and do that for a cycle of 8. That's good for cardio, right? So they're doing it on the bike. They're doing it on the bike. It's great for cardio. It's one of the best ways to develop cardio is the Tabata interval for whatever reason. I don't know why. But so we did that at the end. So we did the kettlebell workout and then we do the sled and then we hit the back I was putting them through like real workouts and then we do sauna and cold plunge [2:48:10] You know, but that all goes with being a good comic It's work, you know that that's work out when I was doing it. You know that good It's work and it makes you feel better about yourself. It makes your body feel better It makes your brain feel better. It also makes you feel like you're not lazy and stagnant. Like there's been times where I get up and for whatever reason, I'm just not feeling it and I fuck off and I look at my phone and I make some phone calls and then the next thing you know, I'm not getting in the cold blunge. The next thing you know, I'm not going to work and the day or I'm not going to work out before work and the days that I realize I'm doing that I can stop, put your phone down, get in the water, were the days that I was happier. I always felt better if I did what I needed to do because then I felt like I've already done the thing that was the hardest [2:49:01] thing to do today. I thought I'd feel yeah. So now I'm on a good path. I got a good path. I got a good path, bro. Yeah. You see what happens to me when I eat? I thought, yeah. I got to do everything early. Yeah. My world is early. Early is good, though. I like it. It's good. Get it out of the rest of your day. But the thing is like what I'm trying to say is like, I'm not immune to those feelings of laziness and those feelings of procrastination. You know, and there's a handful of days over the last few years that I've done nothing and should have, should have worked out, and I just fucked off too much, and I just did wind up doing it. And my mind was like, yeah, you work out basically every day. Like take a day off, pussy. But then I don't feel that good. Then the rest of the day, I'm like, why did I do that? Now I feel stupid. Now I feel like I'm lazy or I'm not centered. But, you know, I need to do something. I need to do something. day. I'm a chef while I'm here, you know, really? Five hours six hours. So it was like last night. I went to bed at fucking two. [2:50:08] But so fun we're having so much fun and I got up at 440. Oh, no. I'm like what the fuck Joey? I don't know. I stayed up till about six and I hit the crib again I got up at fucking eight to call my daughter and I got up like at nine eight thirty. I was up my daughter and I got up like a nine eight thirty. I was up. I get dressed, I roll a joint, I brush my teeth and I fucking get out of the house. I go for a nice walk in Austin. You know. You've been joining here? Very much. I'm looking at it. It's a different look. It looks completely different than what I'm doing. Just come down every now and again. I am. Yeah. Once a man. Yeah, once a month. Coming down next month. A few days. And I need two tickets for that for what 20 show for you. Needle boys. Okay. Let's go. Doug, I went to a restaurant. I want to tell you about. I got a dish. I've been dying to tell you. It's called Char and Red Bank. I told you. I got your boy from the steakhouse 57, the head chef there. And I got the other guy from Charity kept telling me, come on, come on. [2:51:07] It's a red bank, you know? 30 minutes, I don't want babies to do this. I went good Friday, big fucking steak. It's a steakhouse. And I told him, and he goes, I get it, he goes, I'm a hookie up. This motherfucker gave me yellow fin tacos. Right, because you're not supposed to eat meat on a Friday. I don't give none enough for that, but I just won't eat meat. Which is easy for me. I don't give a fuck. And I had the lobster dumplings, and then he sent over to my wife, doesn't give a fuck about Catholicism. So she ordered. But we ate so many appetizers. She's like, Joe, I can't eat this dog. She ordered short rib over Yoke with a garlic sauce and The Yoke just melted in your mouth. It was tiny homemade Yoke. I didn't eat it that night I got high the next day and I saw it was in the refrigerator and I tasted it Joe Rogan I had orgasms come out of every home I fucking fucking body. I understand. I called the man. [2:52:06] He goes, Joey, if you want to stop by, I live right around the corner. I'm there. Don't you fucking dare. I don't want that shit around me. Every fucking. It was so fucking good, man. So fucking ill. Needles. Amazing. There's something about Jersey Italian food. Son, it's on another level very difficult to get stuff like that out here. I can't wait for Sunday To come home. No, I'm coming home tomorrow, but Sunday I go to Easter Sunday and I go to Austria They got this fuckman. They make a Sunday sauce 33 dollars talk 33 dollars on meatball this big They give you a fucking pork rib That's in the sauce a big stick like a big pork rib to give you a bra pork rib that's in the sauce, a big stick, like a big pork rib, to give you a braigel and a big sausage for $33. I usually split it with my daughter. I can't eat that old fucking thing. The meat balls to die for. It's to fucking die for. He gets pissed at me, he's like, yeah. He tell people about the meatball, and the reason they spend money on the big shit, they come here for the Sunday's like it's fucking you know who makes Sunday's last Joe well that was always a I don't have time yeah I don't know how to make it and [2:53:09] the people you know they make it but this is no drama you just go down there oh I love all that shit but I even got it like now I just split a plate now I can't eat the whole thing the more those days are gone the meatball so fucking good dog Joe yeah there's there's not a lot I mean I'm having to eat in it too many Italian places out here but there's I'm sure there's a bunch how you been to sammies I heard sammies is great you ever been there I would that's the spot that people keep talking about I like there's just some spot there's a place in fucking sea cork, that's our rather fruit. It's owned by specialsia. You eat this meatball, your heart will stop. It's that fucking good. But El Mito got some good Wyoming balls too. Yeah. Good ones. Well, let's let that old immigrant style, [2:54:01] East Coast Jersey Italian food. Well, different. They put everything in there, don't they? They feel and can meatballs. Especially the Sunday sauce. When you would see the oils bubbling up on the surface of the pot, and the grandmother would be stirring. And with a wooden spoon? My grandmother did. Yeah, my grandmother was the big cook. It was insane. My grandmother could cook. She'd make homemade pasta. She'd have the kitchen table, flour out there, rolling everything, making it with the roller, cranking the pasta through the machine. Look at that. Good Lord. How's a person supposed to eat well and healthy when that's available? That's hard to read, right? That looks pretty fucking good, Joey. Don't get that fucking around. No. You guys are in need. I got to get credit with credit. Let's do those fucking tacos the other night. And that's just from the truck on the street. That's a truck on the street. Yeah. But guess what? I can't get that in Jersey. Mexican food is God awful. Really? I even told one of the waitresses we were talking. I go to Mexican foods, terrible. Well, the ref Refride greens look like they were made from you know like a powder like not a Mastetta on the kid goes hey got those I [2:55:08] Go I knew they were fucking powdered refried greens. They have powdered refried the food the Mexican food is horrible I don't know where these Mexican came from they're not a apocalypse those The fucking food is fucking terrible. That's the only thing I miss about that light. Not in that fucking sushi. Yeah, I missed a fucking Albuquerque plate with the garlic on top and onions. Oh, LA's got a little had good food, but God damn they killed so many restaurants. I don't even know what sushi place I was going to. That sushi Dan is dead. Yeah, a lot of them went under there. But probably what you've done down here is fucking I got commend you man. That's a great club. Like I told you I was blown away the first night. It's been pretty fun. It's It's a year now. It's crazy as it seems and everybody year and everybody's come through it. Yeah, everybody's come through it That's crazy. Yeah, it's been crazy. It's been awesome. You did good brother. We're just getting started We just're just getting started. Yeah. It's been beautiful having you down here too. Oh, just to see what you're doing and to see the club. [2:56:10] There's so much enthusiasm as that club. Yeah. You know when you walk in people are happy that like I told you, I love to spectate. I'm a spectator bro. I love to sit, smoke pot and watch. Don't say a fucking word. And what I watched the way those people were interacting with the people coming in and everything was beautiful. I was like, there's not a prick in here. You don't feel like, you know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. And you feel definitely safe in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking cops. Everybody's in this. Yeah. It's great. It's a great thing. And it's family. You could feel it in the air and that's what's there's no hang there's a hang but there's no hang and that hang is perfect there yeah it's perfect when that green room dog when I took my clothes off the first night that closed smells so bad from all cigarettes cigar cigarettes [2:57:01] acid speed fucking cut any of that No, you know, I'm not no. Yes, you do no you hear that from me now and did I tell what about what we got no smelling Assault for Joey, so that you didn't get me none you didn't we always have smells off that fucking that that's then fuck me up before Yeah, oh Six but yeah, you you took it right after we ate you you're like, you know, no, I was eating, that's when I swallowed the first one like the restaurant on top of the sushi. So that motherfucker, and then I gave him another one in my pocket because the zins, when you take one, sometimes you take two. Right, it's stick together. Yeah, don't swallow them. That's my advice to you. Well We're already swallowed like six of them. So it's too fucked and late. Well, no more. Don't swallow it. No, I won't swallow it. But I got to get some more of these ends, brother. All right. I love you to death. I'm having me death. Family is family. Comedy family is comedy family. Yeah. And that's what these motherfuckers will never, ever understand. The [2:58:01] people that don't get it will not get that because they have an experience to it, but we're lucky. Did you have each other? Yeah. To fucking, you know, I'm so happy for Tony and the Garden. I'm so happy for Red Man, you know, it's amazing. And that's what being a comic is about. It's also fucking given love to these people going, you know what, you're doing good, man. Yeah. The girls, I love the girls, you know Sarah's down in this week. Yeah, she was happy to see me. I was happy to see you know Kim is coming tonight So Eleanor yeah Some more fucking run white to see him Sin just releases Netflix special don L was here. Yeah, it's amazing. It's really is great town now I love really popping. I love you like a mother fuck. I miss you too But we'll do this one here next month. Okay, then I come down here made and I get too hot for them. Okay Don't worry about it. I'll take a couple more bites of tempo. I think I could do my own residency my own Let's go. Let's go Joey. That's my plan. Beautiful. All right. Thank you. Bye everybody. Love you guys!