#2097 - Jeff Dye

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Jeff Dye

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Jeff Dye is a stand-up comic, actor, and broadcast personality. Check out his podcast "Jeff Dye's Friendship Podcast" available everywhere. www.jeffdye.com

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Pipo

22d ago

Bro can I upload a clip on my channel YouTube??

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Thanks for having me. My pleasure, brother. I'm a big fan, so. You're very funny last night. It was fun. Oh, thanks. It was fun to sit. I was telling them before you got here that, like, it's very rare that I'm like, got a little nerves. Yeah, that club's weird. And so when I came out, I was like, yeah, that's a big deal. And I'm like, I don't, it's been a while since I've had some nerves and I was coming out to go. It took me like about 30, 40 long seconds to really dial in and go, I was kind of having to add in my head going, Joe's watching and this goes, well, you know, because it's such a beautiful club. Yeah, the bar's high. Yeah. Oh, that whole crowd's going on. We're gonna see everybody, Tom Sigerah, Joe Rogan, we're gonna see. Brian Simpson too, who's really fucked, really fucking on fire right now. It was just very, it was just cool. It was cool to be in that, you got to torch. Yeah, yeah, this one right there, this is it's torch. Oh, that's a torch too. I look at you, you got all the gadgets. Yeah, we shot out to foundation cigars. They actually made us some comedy mothership logo cigars. They're really good. Is it out? Yeah, here, try this. You can get it. Sorry. It might be almost out of juice. Got it. But yeah, I get it. I was nervous when I first did stand up there too. Yeah, it's like that. It was my first set. There, it was weird. It was like, are we really doing this? Yeah, it's in your dad. We're talking about this for two years. And then all of a sudden we're doing it. Like we were all shit in our pants. Every one of us backstage was like, fuck. Yeah. It was such a cool place. But the thing is like we had been doing so much standup. Yeah, your whole life. We ended up by this one set for some reason. It Special. Yeah, it felt like the audience was like that too. They felt a little weirded out too. They were like, wow, this is real. Like they got to be there at the very first show. I used to feel like that at the store a bit. Mm-hmm. Like, yeah, I would literally crush Ethel Affectry 25 minutes before I walked over to the comedy store and then I was like, oh, I hope Adam sees this. You know, like for whatever reason like the store has I think every comic has some sort of weird issues with the comedy store [2:06] For sure All different things but like I don't know how to when I was a kid when I was 21 when I first started doing stand-up People would talk about the comedy store like it was mecha like you had to make your pilgrimage This was where Richard prior came from this is where Sam Kinnison came from. It was Mecca. And you only heard about, you know, like, that this is the spot. There was no other one place you had to go. Like you could go to catch, you could go to, you know, catch rising stars in New York. You could go, which is a great club. You could go to the improv and Melrose. That was a great club. It was a great store. This store was mecca. Yeah. And when you got past there, see I was already on a television show when I got past. And when getting on the television show was cool. It was cool to be on TV like, wow, I can't believe I'm on TV. This is nuts. But the real thing for me was when Midsi passed me. [3:03] Yeah. I was like, oh my god, I think I'm a real comedian. Yeah. I'm a real professional. Like, in the beginning, in the few years, you feel like such a fraud. You feel like... Any stage time. Yeah, you're learning it as you go. You're not really sure if you're gonna make it. Some of your jokes suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone now and then though, you get one that pops. You're like, God, I need more of those. I need more like that one. That's why so many comments go edgy or dirty soon. Of course. Cause it's like, at least a reaction, better than bombing, you know. Exactly. I'd rather that than silence, you know, there's some subjects that you pretty much can't fuck it up. If you got a, it's a topic that people like to laugh just at the top or like, I feel like every comic when you start, tell them if you found this to be true. Of course they all start with the, I know what I look like, or I look like, or that you hear that version of that. Right, or they come up with a, or they're like as some sort of song lyrics. That's all, because songs are poems. [4:06] Yeah. And they're metaphors. So for whatever reason every comic's like, I'll listen to this song the other day. Yeah. And the lyrics, you're like, yeah, because it's a metaphor. Like, and you're gonna take the most literal route on this writing to make yourself sound smarter than the artist. But it's like, it's kind of like trying to get to you in that monkey and you're like, he's trying to get to a monkey. And like, no, that's the radio edit of booty. You know, they can't say trying to get to you in that pussy or booty or whatever, the real lyric is. Yeah. The thing. Well, it's just pop culture too, right? So you really, you're terrified to talk about something that people don't know about. You don't want to have to explain something while you're, because then you have to get their full attention. It's not an immediate, like if you wanted to bring up LeBron James, you say the name LeBron James, everybody knows who LeBron James is. It's an instantaneous reference. Absolutely. But if you want to talk about some weird sect [5:00] of the Christian church that you grew up in, you're like, what? You're like, what? What? That's a fucking black belt joke. You have to, you're not ready for like a esoteric subject. You're not ready for any weirdness. I had a comic tell me then, and we did this corporate event. I don't wanna say his name, because you know, but he's just new. That's all, he's not guilty of being a bad guy. He's just guilty of being new. Yeah, that's all it is. Like we all were. And he goes, what do you think about this joke? And it's this wildly insensitive joke about the Bible and Mary. And it's a gross oversimplification, but it's also just late in Lee disrespected. Like, and that's okay. You know, Louie wants to do that joke. You want to limp in on that subject, you can do it. And I go, you can't. You don't have to say anything like, what do you mean I can? I go, no, it's just you're not ready for that. You're trying to tackle that. It's not gonna work. An abortion joke in your first five minutes, like settled out. These people have no idea who you are. It's just like it's not gonna work. Leave the abortion joke to bill bird. Maybe not month one. Yeah, you're not, you don't have any idea what you sound like. [6:07] You have any idea what people are perceiving you. It's chaos up there. It doesn't seem like it should be. I feel like we understand it more than most people, which is why so many people think they can do it. But even we kind of barely understand it. Like I understand how I do it. But there's a lot of guys like I see him like, I don't know what you're doing, but it's hilarious. Harlan Williams. I love Harlan. I love Harlan. I love him. He was so silly. He's so silly. When you watch him on stage, like if you wrote that out, it would not make any sense. But look where I'm trying to perform up there. I'm fucking dying. Right, man. He was on Kill Tony and he brought a check book and started just writing checks to people with like a billion dollars. And it just became this running track. It was hilarious. Who the Jeff Ross roast a roast? He pulled out a roast and he put two little googly eyes on it [7:00] and he goes, I want you to roast this roast. And that's only Harlan conduit. Only Harlan. If anyone else did that, I'd be like, get this dog shit outta here. But like Harlan went, it's perfectly his voice. I've known that guy for probably like 25, 26 years. He's always been super cool. No one hates Harlan Williams. No one. You will never meet anybody who doesn't like Harlanlan. He isn't like, but is exactly like Norma McDonald, where he's got his own thing. It's a whole thing. And they're both Canadian, and they're not similar, but they're both these unique, one of a kind men. Yeah, he doesn't vary. Yeah. He's always that guy. He's always like the super sweet guy. That guy off stage, on stage. Hey, fella, What a great club. He'll pump and pie here. He'll freak. He improved that on the movie, Dumb to Dumber, to Jim Carey. And it stays in the script. Like that's how. Yeah, that's Harlan. He's such a fun guy. But like, I don't know how he does it. Imagine if being Harlan's comedy coach. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, just do you. Yeah, I don't know how to tell you. William Montgomery's another one. Have you seen William? He's a young guy from Austin. [8:06] He was an LA for a while and then he came out here. His comedy is so st- I wish I could do like do one of his bits but I don't want to give up some of his material. You got a kid that works at a mothership who I'm obsessed with. And I don't know if he became stars are stars. I'm not a good read of this, but I do know a brilliant comic when I see one in Casey Rocket. Oh yeah, he's very funny. And here's the difference. So for me, here's the difference. Is when you watch me, you go, oh, I know who Jeff's inspired by. He likes Patrice, he likes Norm, he likes these truth tellers, and he loves the Simpsons. And if you know that formula when you watch me go, that's what this guy liked. That's what you watched. You know, no one's doing what Casey Rockets doing. No. So at least it's different enough that you, like whether you love it or hate it, you'll, I've never seen it before. Well, even if you, well, first of all, you should appreciate that, but then also appreciate that whatever he's doing it's funny right now and he's gonna get better. Yeah, he's gonna love it [9:06] It's gonna get even more better. I watched him I don't know if he'll like me saying is that he didn't do to great on the show that I watched and I'm in the back gone Whatever that is sign me up. I'll watch that it he varies But he does well a lot. He does well a lot. He's got real potential. He's a funny dude. He did like six minutes on Jimmy Carter Kids in his 20s And I'm in the back on no one's gonna because you know I was it was like a bar show and Manhattan Beach and they know they want some Race race hustle. Oh, yeah, you're doing a bar show in Manhattan Beach. That's Yeah, boy, that's hit her miss. It is hitter., yeah. Boy, those are good for like, just stress testing the vehicle though. And who cares? If the joke doesn't work, the, you can, you know, I watched you last night for, probably 30 minutes of the hour that you did, it seems like you're having a lot of fun. I'm having a lot of fun. Is this a new or is this a, I mean, I've seen you a bunch of times, but it's been a few years since I've got to see on stage. [10:07] And you seem like you have so much fun. I'm having a good time. That's inspiring to watch. Yeah, well, first of all, I'm in a place where I could do whatever I want. So I'm doing as much stand up as I want. And I'm doing it specifically just to make the stand up better. That's how I think about it. All I'm doing is like, I treat it like, what is the most important thing of it? The most important thing is the show. Like try in some way to always tweak it. Always make it better. Figure out what you're doing. Add a thing. And to have all this opportunity for stage time at the club, I basically set up a residency in my home city. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. It was fun to watch. It's fun, dude. It's fun. I like seeing that more than I like seeing a lot of things in our business. I just, I love it. I like comedy so much. I do too. That I want to see some, so I went on the road with this guy named Kermit Appeal from Washington state. And he's a road dog and a really talented guy [11:06] who won Seattle International Comedy Competition, which when I first started comedy, I was a huge deal to us up in Seattle. And he brought me on the road. I was terrible. I was a terrible like open-micro that got some loud. I was a king of the open-micro in Seattle. And so he brings me on the road to open for him. And he goes, you know what the leaders are not bringing you on the road? Is you make me like like stand up comedy again? You're so excited about it and the way you don't shut up about it and you want to tell jokes and you want to write jokes. Are you telling me like, hey, last night after that bit you should, you should, if you thought about adding this. And like, you make me remember that I like it. And I do feel like I know I've been doing comedy since 2005. I do feel a little bit of that, where I'm looking for someone to, I just, I like, I loved being in that green room and hanging, I love this, I love the stand-up part, but like, that's really fun. It does, I don't wanna just perform and go home. I want it to be like in the comedy. Yeah. I don't know, I like that part of it. Yeah, we feel like fun. We were already performing out here [12:11] We started performing out here in November of 2020 indoors and it was It was sketchy and ever like there was a feeling of sketchiness I was like I remember we got really high one time and I went on stage I was like this is so not safe The middle what are we done middle of COVID and they have indoor shows packed. There's no social distancing. It's stuck my dick. It was no social distancing. It was just packed. Everybody was just going out like they were going out. I love that. And how many of you guys have had COVID? Like fucking half the crowd. And we're fine. And we're fine. Yeah, it was It was wild times, but what we needed was a home base. And I was like, this place that we're at, the Vulcan, which is a really fun place to play, and a really fun place to see stand up. It's a real fun room, but I wanted to do it where we had full control of it. Where it was just comics. [13:01] Like, we have a group of humans that are really good at an art form. And I say, what do you, what do you think we should do? We all just taught everybody suggestion got in there. The reason why the ceiling is the height that it is because I took Louis and Louis went and looked around and goes, can you lower the ceiling? And I said, I think we can. Can we lower the ceiling? And I brought over the construction guys and like what could we do and like yeah We can get it down three more feet and he's like get down as low as you can get it Like we just wanted to make sure that we could see from the balcony That was the critical thing like make sure the the ceiling didn't impede the view from the balcony So we got to write where it doesn't and then it really tightened the room up But he also told me It goes comics like to hear that sound of echo, but that sucks. It's like sucks for the sound. Like that's like you want the sound to be as clean as possible. You should like make everything almost like a sound studio. Like if you've done the old ice house. Yeah, love the old, no one's hard wood that pops, the comedy pops there. It's like it has, it's also great crowds out there too. But it's the structure of the building adds to the sound, but you don't really necessarily want that. [14:07] You really want the actual laughs and like everybody to hear everything you're saying. Yeah. Clearly. Wait, do you think there was a problem with the ice house in the old way? Like the way it was too easy and popped? It wasn't a problem because it was really small room, but it would have been a problem in a slightly larger room. It gets slightly larger and those echoes get weird. They get weird in corners. Like that's one of the things about the Vulcan. I've had friends come to the show and they were go, we couldn't hear right where we were, we had to move. I go, what was the matter? They were like, everything is echoing. I was like, oh no, really? So I guess there was like, you know how sound works in hard surfaces and corners. If you're in like the back of, you know, a little corner area and sounds coming from a speaker pointing in a specific direction, it's probably not set up for comedies when I'm trying to say it. So we decided to just set it up from the jump. It's great. Like the best way we could, you know, the whole tunnel system, the whole, [15:03] there's an elevator. It's perfect. It's literally you've made, it's a masterpiece. So when we opened it, it was nerve-wracking. It was like, what are we doing? Me and my buddy, this was literally last weekend. I think it was last weekend. We're playing a club and the club's great. And I wanna name it because I'm about to say something that's not great about the acoustics, but he gets on stage, he's crushing. And he's doing all these little bullshit savers, you know, like, well, that did better last week. You know those little things you say after a joke does, and the crowd's looking around, going, what was he talking about? So then he does another joke and then he's like, all right, you guys don't like, I get on stage and I'm like, fuck it, tough crowd man, what's going on here? Like these, oh you can't hear them. Couldn't hear, I thought I was doing bad and Brant's like, that was amazing and then Brant was doing amazing and he thought he was doing bad up there. So we came with like a symbol for the next shows, [16:01] like if you're doing how far was the audience for from you that you couldn't we heard laughs we heard laughs right but we just don't We're used to a sound as a comedian a volume of what killing is so you know you getting we get laughs on every sentence Doesn't mean you're killing mm-hmm, so we were just saying so me and Brankham was like a code We're like alright. This means don't worry about it. You're doing good and if it is is, that the joke sucks, so the bit sucks, we'll do this. Like hey, it's you. It's you that is, but like you need to know. Is it me or is it the crowd? You get like a line coach. Yeah, we like like, we're going, you know, it's because that sound is so important. If you think you're doing bad, and the crowd doesn't think you are or vice versa. That's a pro. That's watching the Zoom comedy people try to do. Joe, I was one of the Zoom people. No, I had to. I had to. Hey, I would have done it. I need to. I won corporate event. It was like $10,000 corporate. It was supposed to be in a theater. And then they're like, well, we can't now because COVID something I just don't give that money or they're gonna have to reschedule for another time. [17:05] And they go, but we can do it on Zoom and I was like, wow, that's 10 grand. And I would do it, it was terrible. So you did a corporate gig on Zoom. Yes. Oh my God. And I could hear that because they're things aren't on. It's a bunch of people. Oh my God. Also, I gotta say that's really nice for me to be here because during COVID, I was like enemy number one in Los Angeles in a lot of ways. Really? I'd have people at my house. I was like, I'm not doing this shit. I was like the only guy who was actually putting on a story like I'm not doing this. I'd go to coffee shops. I'd wear a mask when I'd be one of those guys. you know, I'd wear the mask in the store, but then, you know, whatever, I'm gonna drink my coffee, you wanna drink it through a mask, you know? Right. So, there were comics who are now cool with me again, but at the time, where like, can you believe Jeff Dye is just not taking this serious? And I was like, I wish I lived in a place like this or Florida or something during that lockdown. Well, I kind of saw what was going on in the beginning, but I was hoping that we would come out of it [18:10] and it really would just be a couple weeks and everything would be back to normal. But when it got to a month, and there was no talk at all about reopening, and then there was talk about it might be six months. It got real weird, and then there was the George Floyd riots, and then there was the lines outside the gun stores. And I was like, OK, I see where this is going. I'm getting the fuck out of here. So I came out here in May of 2020. That's when I first started looking, found a house moved in August. So that quick, in August of 2020, I'm like, see ya. and it was in the middle of my Spotify deal the beginning Excuse me not even the middle yeah spot of ideal hadn't even started it started from out here It was really they were like what the fuck are you doing as from us going? What do you mean he's moving to he's gonna change also you're a weed guy. We're going Texas He's gonna go to Texas with the weed well apparently it's decriminalized here in Austin. Okay, praise Jesus [19:06] with the weed? Well apparently it's decriminalized here in Austin. Okay. Praise Jesus. Yeah. But then I heard that Ken Paxden is trying to sue the city of Austin who have met is a very nice gentleman. Ken, how dare you? What's he sue in it for? I don't know. I think it has something to do with the marijuana laws. Listen, maybe it has something to do with something other politically, like they sue you for this so you refund the police I don't know how that shit works because a lot of like weirdness when it comes to that Kenpaks and Seuss Texas cities including Austin for decriminalizing weed dude Why it's a stupid Ken don't get involved in this. This is a dumb perspective It's the whole law is dumb and it was based on fraud from the very beginning if you look at the history of why marijuana is illegal it goes back to william randolph herst and harry and slinger they they conspired that's that's the reason why they made movies like reifer madness they wrote [20:02] all these stories in the newspaper about marijuana and how marijuana was causing blacks and Mexicans to rape white ladies. And they did it. It turned out not to be true. They made this shit up. Well, you know, you could find instances. There's a lot of people. But the point is that they made all this shit up just so they could stop hemp because they had come up with a new method of processing hemp fiber. There was a new machine that was invent to call the decorticator. And the decorticator allowed them to economically effectively process hemp without using slave labor. See, when they stopped using slaves and then when they started picking cotton, people moved from hemp to cotton. but cotton sucks compared to hemp. Hemp is a way better cloth. It's way more durable. It's like, my friend Todd says it's like an alien plant because it is like an alien plant. It doesn't, there's nothing like it. You could use its fiber to make clothes. [21:01] It's the best clothes on earth. Like the most durable, like I have a hemp jujitsu ghee, that fucking thing never rips. When I get cotton geese, these motherfuckers, like after like a few months of hard rolling, this thing start getting loose. And they start ripping. You know, you've got a ghee for a year or two years, it's probably got a rip or two in it already. The hemp geese don't rip. You get to have hemp paper, you take hemp paper, you can barely tear it. Really? It's weird. I've never known less about a subject than hemp or any of this stuff. I got fascinated because my friend Todd McCormick had a hemp stalk on his table, his desk table. And he goes pick this up and I pick it up and it feels like there's nothing there. It's like styrofoam, but it's hard. Like oak. Yeah, it's interesting. It's a fucking weird plant. You can make houses with it. They use something called hemp creek. And it's hemp and it's mixed together with some sort of a solvent or something that solidifies it. [22:00] And it's way more durable than wood. Oh, living hell. It's stronger than concrete. It's crazy. It's a crazy plant, and the fact that it's illegal because it makes people happy and makes food taste better. Shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. It's stupid. It doesn't kill anybody. Alcohols killing people every day of the week. They're dying of liver poisoning. Everyone's dying of opiates. Fentonals killing everybody. We need kills. Nobody. I've always said the best way to get killed by weed is you take a 35 pound bag of it and drop it on your head from a CIA drug plane. That's how people die of that. That's how you die from weed. Shut the fuck up. I had a buddy who was driving from Boston, Randy Villario. He was driving from Boston with marijuana products. But it was Madison in Boston, you know? And he's moving to LA to live. And as he's driving through Texas, he gets pulled over. So it's legal in Boston, and it's legal in LA. [23:00] And it's considered medicine in these two places. But if he takes his medicine through Texas yeah he can't fell any charges yeah it's it's schedule one it's a real drug crazy well it's a dumb thing man like this not a dumb country we're super educated now we have amazing access to information this is not 1930 this is not a confusing time this is a time where we know exactly what things do. Now, this is also important to say. Some people should not smoke weed. Some people should not eat weed. Some people should not do any psychedelics at all. Some people have mental health problems already. Some people are prone to schizophrenia. And I've seen people fucking snap from weed. I think, yes. I've seen that. I think it's important to talk about. Look, it's just on me. But I've seen people like Alex Baronson wrote this book called Tell Your Children. And it's all about, there's like a certain percentage of people that take high dose THC that experience [24:01] psychotic states. This is Lady in LA who stabbed her boyfriend 108 times off one hit. THC that experienced psychotic states. This is lady in LA who stabbed her boyfriend 108 times off one hit. He gave her some crazy super potent weed. She went wacky, stabbed him 108 times, and the fucked up part is she only got two years probation. Yeah, that's wild. Two years probation. That's a whole different problem. That's the way they say it. That's a crazy way. We were just like imaginative. It was a dude. And his excuse was I got high. Hey, yeah. He gave me a high. I had a stab or 108 times. Like what the fuck, you're in jail forever. Women can blame about all these social issues. Being nowhere women crush us. Courts. Dude, in the courtroom, there's no bigger privilege than being a woman. by the way no one no one gives a fuck if your wife beats you up at all at all a baseball player in the 90s Chuck Finley got beat up by his wife and he's like I don't hit her back. I'm a big guy, you know, so just so you just called the cops Yeah, I took it. Just called the cops, but then if you read all the people comments are like oh come on dude you can't yeah Just let her hit you like like like just block yeah, the problem is you should never be around anyone who wants to hit you [25:08] Whether it's a friend or whether it's a girlfriend She never be around a person that wants to strike you at all. Yeah, that's just the rules It's like I we all have We all sometimes are angry, but you don't express yourself that way right? It's stupid It's you know my favorite Joe Rogan moment? One of? What? Yeah, everybody references your podcast. People reference your, you know, the UFC, the reference your comedy. The, on Fear Factor, when that guy tried, and he goes, no, no, you don't get to hit people to that girl. Oh, yeah. And then he tried to defend his wife's honor, no, he's, you go, no, no. If you guys want to hit each other at home, you can do whatever you want. But you don't get to hit people just because you're upset. And then he tried to come to you and you grabbed him. And everyone realized real quick. I mean, maybe at that time it wasn't public knowledge, how trained you were at like fighting and stuff. I just grabbed his neck. Yeah, but it was, you Quick, no TV host has ever shut down a conflict of like that fast. [26:06] Well, that guy they'd warned me about. He had a history of violence and he had done some violent things on some other realities. It was amazing. They were like fire the security on the show. Joe's got this. There was no security. That was part of the problem. That was around maniacs. That was a big show. Yeah, yeah, there was zero security. There was zero security. There was me and a bunch of random maniacs that were trying to eat bull dicks and jump off buildings. And we don't need security. And some of them were super sketchy. That guy was, that guy was, he maybe could have hit me. He was thinking about hitting me. When he got in this way, his body was so tense and he got so close to me. I was like, the thing about, people have to realize about getting punched. This is very important to know. Sucker punching works because your reaction time is far slower than action time. Action time is very fast. It's probably five to 10 times faster than reaction time. [27:04] So if I go like that and I hit you, by the time you register that I've turned my shoulders and that my fist is heading in your direction, you're hit and you're gonna get knocked out. You're gonna be unready for it. Your jaw's gonna slide back. Your head's gonna snap sideways because you're not resisting it. Your brain's gonna wash around inside your head and you're going out unless you're a tank. You know, it's your big fucking small dude. And then he's gonna look at you, you're gonna might what a fucking terrible thing you've done. And then he's gonna eat you. That's why Joe Rogan says sucker punch. That's what I got from that. I got a sucker punch if I'm gonna win. Well, just sucker punch is effective, but something that people do. So if someone gets that close to you, even a trained fighter has to be prepared for a sucker punch. Did it kill Houdini? No, no, he got punched in the stomach, he had a guess. But he wasn't ready. We would let people punch him. And yeah, this guy, but I think there was something else wrong with him too. I also think he was doing a lot of weird shit. I know I'm jumping around a lot, but... [28:05] Yeah, we had a pen this time. Well, but isn't that kind of funny that, you know, we just get up there and do jokes. But like a magician will do like a trick and then be like, also someone come punch me. Like, that's not a magic trick. That sounds like something like a frack guy. Like a big someone guy would say. Like someone punched you. But there's like no magic to it that really work. Like if someone says kick me, there is no magic that's gonna save you. So silly. There's no magic. You can't tighten up your abs and let me kick you. This is my magic trick. You're gonna get really injured. You think you punched good? I'm a magician. Stupid. Brats isn't gonna liver punching you. Well, I think David Blanard, he'll do seven things that you're like, this guy's a witch or a warlock or something, but then he'll be like, and now I'm gonna live in a box above New York City for a month, and you're like, don't do that. That's not magic. [29:00] You made me stab him with an ice pick. Yeah. It stabbed his arm. Yeah, it was through his arm to the other side with an ice pick. Yeah, I saw that. He did that to Ricky Jervais or something. Ricky Jervais is just like, why? That's the best answer to the most magic. Why? This is the answer to the Houdini thing. It's his Friday morning, October 22nd in his dressing room at the Princess Theater in Montreal He was punched hard in the stomach by an excitable McGill student Jay Gordon Whitehead Who wanted to test the theory that you Dean he was capable of with standing hard blows to the abdomen a week later who Dean He was dead It's so much valuable is that really what killed him or was it appendicitis? Did you say it was appendicitis Jamie that you read that? Great head you see you maybe you can rupture someone's appendix with a punch. Oh, so that's how it happened. And inflammation of the abdominal wall, his appendix was removed, but the poison from the rupture appendix was already in his bloodstream. Geez. Maybe, I mean, it's makes sense. I know guys lose their spleens from really bad accidents. [30:04] You can, you know, if your body gets damaged, they could remove your spleen. It might be like it fucks your appendix up too. I mean, make sense. If something's hitting it. These UFC guys, I mean, the blows they take is kind of stuff. Dude. You get too accustomed to it. It's so normal for me to see guys fight. It's weird. It's real weird. I'm super accustomed to it. But it really is shocking. If you just step back and watch a real high level fight, the impact is terrifying. If it was dogs, it'd be illegal. Right. You watch you have C-Fight. You go, you know, we couldn't do this. If this was dogs. I can't believe I can't believe what and there's people gather around people game I'm gamblers you know yeah yeah yeah and uh and you just go I don't think that this should be a loud but they do it I know it's wild when uh every now and again you you mean it always I'm always [31:03] aware of how dangerous it is for the fighters and how wild it is to see and but every now and then someone get really injured and when i'm like oh shit like when christwitman broke his leg was like oh right over the anderson silver bro that's the one i'm thinking of it that clean break on his shin they both had it who this is the craziest thing it's only happened four times the fc and two times have been with Chris wide men are really crazy i don't know how that guy is uh... all i want a lot but i saw the silver one and i go whoo he was striking him any broken wide men was that you know i saw a lot of what was ufc middleweight champion at the time that's wide men and he was defending his title against anderson who he beat in the first fight, and then Anderson just threw that. So gross. So disgusting, dude. And he had heard it on a check earlier. Yeah, it just gave out. Chris said that he checked it earlier, and he thinks that it had hurt. Check means when Anderson throws a kick, you lift up your leg and you try to get it where [32:03] his shin hits the top of your, like, right below your knee. Because that's like indestructible. Okay. So it's like, what's the weakest point? The middle of your shin, if it hits that top area of the knee, that top area is not giving. Yeah. Because it's reinforced, it's also it's like, you can take a shot like that. Or like, pretty hard. Yeah. But in the middle of the shin, you got all that crazy leverage and down there where Anderson broke his, think of how thin that is compared to the bones at the top. So something had to give. Coming up that happens all the time. Well, not all the time, but it's happening a lot more now because so much stuff is filmed. I've seen a dozen of them at least. It does happen. I used to work at this moving company. You used to be super rare. And when you work at a place like a moving company or any of these kinds of jobs where they just hire criminals, people with criminal records, you want to make 20 bucks an hour, just load up this big rig with frozen groceries. I've had a lot of those jobs when I was young because I didn't go to college. And you could tell me if this is real or not, but there you know [33:05] It's an unreliable source for this guy's like I used to be in the Marine Corps and they used to tell us You know You're gonna get punched you want to get hit in the face you want to get hit right here and we always picked the face Is that does that make fight sense or is this guy just trying to be cool at the warehouse? I don't think he knows what the fuck he's talking about. Okay, fair enough. That's what I'm saying. These guys were like, you know. Yeah, I'd take it in the gut all day long over the face. Really? Yeah, but the thing about the face is it puts you out. If someone's gonna like just hit you, if like you know you're gonna get hit and you get to choose where you get hit, you take it in this stomach and you get punched in the face by the right guy. He told us that, like, blew our mind. We're like, I don't think he knows what he's talking about. I think he was trying to be a tough guy. Because he's just panning. If someone hits you in the liver, like, if you get a, you know, someone who's really good, you know, like Ryan Garcia, he's got this nasty liver punch. Yeah. He hits people, they just blap. You know, like, Canelo Alvarez is a wicked liver punch. [34:05] When you have that shot, it's like a left hook that's kind of almost partially an uppercut. You know, instead of coming, it's like a body left hook and they'll slam it right here, right here with the ribcages and the liver's right below it. Oh my goodness. It's the worst feeling. You get like electrocuted. Like your whole body shuts off. It's so crazy. It is a kill switch. It really is. And some guys are masterful at hitting that kill switch. You know the sad part about this is Joe? I've, you know, what it's been 30 years probably 25 years. I've been telling that story. I heard, you know, I get point. If you got to pick because in the face and the thing you take the face Because this one idiot don't read somebody punch in the face. Yeah, you're going conscious you lose your vision Yeah, you want to be able to see you'll recover from a body shot You know you might not recover from getting a punch in the face. Yeah, there's a lot of blood You've seen slap fighting they get slapped on conscious. Yeah, just a slap [35:06] Yeah, they're ready for it and they're like professional slappers. Are you shocked? That's a sport. Yes. Yeah, that comes up on my Instagram things and I'm going what are we doing? Yeah, and the UFC owns it so it's like I'm like okay, and there's like big guys that like I you know They look like my neighbor ring, you know who are just like now they're pro athletes. I do have to I watch those fucking clips. I'm one of those idiots pro athlete I watch those fucking clips. I'm one of those idiots. The pro athlete He's putting Chuck on his head. He's got like rubber bands. Yeah, he looked terrible He looks at me dive bar the chimney sweep just gone What what are they dudes they were like what are you gonna do with the money? Oh get my wife some new titties Yeah, that's a good answer What's the best answer you've heard because the best thing interview all these guys after that. What's the best one? What would you say I never ask what they're gonna do with their money? I know what's a thing you heard afterwards, where you're like, oh, I like that kind of. Oh, Derek Lewis, my balls was hot. It has to be number one. It has to be number one. Derek Lewis just beats his dude and then takes his pants off. Okay. And he's standing in the octagon with no pants on and I'm interviewing him. Like, Derek, congratulations. Why did you take your pants off? My balls was hot. I got [36:09] to understand, sir. I'm ready for that. I was ready for it. I mean, my job there is just kind of, you know, I'm not in any way a comedian when I'm interviewing fighters. That's a completely different role. I never try to make anything funny. Ever. I do. My job is there is just to get out of them the best expression that they can give. They're at the start. That's it. It's just me trying to get it out of them. That's all it is always. So like I've never like Conner's is pretty good too. Yeah oh Conner's is amazing. Go for it. Go for it. Go for it. Get it. Look what's next for me, Joe. I'm gonna get that second bell. Where the f*** is it? Oh yeah, I remember this.'ll get your second bell. Haha. [37:05] I've spent a lot of time, Joe. Slating everybody in the company. Backstage, I'm starting a fourth job. Everybody. I really killed everyone on the roster. I just want to say from the bottom of my heart, I'd like to take this chance to apologize. To absolutely nobody. Haha. Legendary. There it is. I'd like to take this chance to apologize Absolutely nobody Ha ha ha Legendary There it is How the f*** You guys can f*** That's pretty solid Yeah because that was what he envisioned He envisioned him standing there with those two belts And he made it happen Yeah He really did it. Like there's something to that fucking Oprah horse shit. No it works. Like manifesting things. The universe is secret. You know, something to that. There's something to it, but it's not guaranteed. Oh yeah. It's just, you know, you have to think it works. Yeah. [38:00] There's something to it. There's something weird to it. You carry yourself in a different way. Yeah, for sure, I've noticed that just with getting off the bottle, just my comedy's gotten better, things like that. But it's just me knowing, I'm in my right mind now. Like yeah, I got something now to prove kind of thing. Not to make Connor Greger about myself, but just get there is this thing about. Yeah, seeing it and making it happen, you know, like there's something to that. It's not again it's not guaranteed right it's like it's a part of the equation. This is what I like to think about it. It's not like You live in a land of only fate It's not like you can just make things happen with your mind and Random things don't happen to people. It's all those things. Random things do happen to people. Some people are more fortunate to people. A lot of it is luck. A lot of this whole thing is luck. The energy you put out there in the world probably has an effect on the life that you live. And if you really, truly believe that you can do something and you go for it, people applaud [39:02] it. They love it. They love to watch it. They love it. They love to watch it. They love to see it. And when you make it, it gives everybody else hope that they can do it. 100%. That's the reason I like basketball like Jordan. We saw someone accomplish something. We go, hey, fucking they did that thing. Yeah. What could be my thing? You know, yeah. There's part of just seeing someone who is the best at anything or just extraordinary at anything. It makes you realize that people can do wild shit, man. And it might not be the people that you're around. It might not be the people that you surround yourself with. But just knowing that those other people are out there in the world, you know that there's a higher bar to set. You could do it, like, like,, whatever, in whatever field you're doing, you watch a Mike Tyson fight from the 1980s. Just the idea that someone could be that guy was so crazy. It made you think that you could get better at everything you do. When it's not like Tyson had some silver spoon, the opposite. [40:00] Yeah, so for, you go, look at him, you know this kid the opposite. Remember that I don't, I'm sure you know everything about Tyson I'm not gonna tell you anything you don't know, but just I love they do that documentary where he's like, he's being so sweet about his coach and he's gone. I'm nothing, I'm like a piece of shit, you know. And they let me live in their house and he's teaching me boxing and they're letting me sleep with them in the house and they're feeding me. And I'm thinking, I'm gonna rob these motherfuckers. His instinct was still like, they didn't lock the house up. Like I'm not a... But like, I just love that his mentality. Like they took like a straight kid. It's guarding pigeons from his buddies and he could be that. Yeah. He could be that's pretty cool. It makes I'm never gonna be a boxer, but I could go, maybe I could do something great. Do you ever see the movie The Color Money? It's Tom Cruise and Mary Elizabeth, Master Antonio, and she plays his girlfriend. She's so fucking hot. She's so young and hot. It's with Paul Newman. I hate watching movies that are older, but with hot chicks. [41:00] Oh, she was so hot back because now I know that they're not alive no more. I think she's still alive well but but anyway, but porn is she's amazing actress too and she played his girlfriend and She was talking to Paul Newman and she had this chain around her neck and And the dad was like or Paul Newman was like where'd you get it? And she's like oh it came from Vincent. You know, it was Vincent's mom. It was Vincent's moms. And then he goes, did he give it to you? She goes, no. When I was with my ex boyfriend, we stole it from his house. So she was still wearing a stolen. Tom Cruise's moms chain that she stole from his house while they were dating. It's insane. But it was cool. It was like, whoa. Just another viper like that out there. Yeah, we can all be the viper here. In that sense. Like Tom Cruise plays this genius pool player that's probably autistic. And this is the girlfriend. [42:00] And the girlfriend is just like a total hustler. Yeah, crazy. Just controlling him, steering him, completely in control of Vincent. And if she leaves the room, he panics. It's really wild. I feel like I know some women like that. Oh yeah. They're the fun ones. This is Marialism in Master Antonio. It's great for you. She is hoover. You know, I watched, um, I'm gonna slaughter the name, but I was at Terry Bradshaw's house on Christmas, and he likes these old movies. So he puts in like, uh, it's something like, I'll see you in St. Louis, or meet me in St. Louis, or something. It's an older movie. And I'm there, I got like, know some scars and we're just watching he falls asleep I'm watching this movie It kind of goes back to what I say I like to watch old films with beautiful women like that because Judy Garland's on the screen And she's just so pretty and sweet and nice. I'm falling for Judy Garland in the movie And then I was like I'm gonna look her up, you know see what she's and I was like I'm about 40 years late and she You know just gone oh yeah, but that's how dumb I am I'm about 40 years late and she didn't get on it, she's gone, oh yeah. But that's how dumb I am. [43:06] I'm getting a crush on a woman that's been gone for 30 years and also didn't age great. Well, don't you ever imagine living life back then with, it's like living with children, for sure. Like people back then were like culturally, they were like, sweet. But it's kinda sweet. Yeah, kinda sweet. I but it's kind of sweet. Yeah, kind of sweet. I know it's a mushrooms idea. I'm a big mushroom guy, but like I Always, well, I don't know how when when you do in the mushrooms When I do mushrooms I'm with my friends and it's a huge we're not we're doing the woods camp or something I don't like to go to concerts. I don't want to be on mushrooms Too much randomness. Yeah, I can't do that. No, I don't want to hit her a guy. I don't know well. Right. I want to be around some people I love. You know, I want to be around. But I was thinking about like, in the old days, you wrote, we'd ride our horses, you know, and we'd have like a little picture of our lady back home you know, we had our responsibilities, we had our little things. [44:07] You knew your girl, and you knew some girls in town, but you knew your woman that you loved and your family. And then it's like, now, I don't wonder what anyone's doing. Can't even escape my ex-girlfriends' breakfast post. You know, like, we know it's, It's there's gotta be some happy medium those guys knew nothing kind of a sweet time Kind of a sweet time, but which one would you choose? Oh, I'm only thinking I want that because I got now. Yeah, it's nonsense It's like what do you want to do go back to being a champ of throws shit at each other maybe because that they were probably like What are these people gonna live in houses? Yeah, but maybe you know that was one of the things that a gingus Cushion as a chimped you know you get to be Joe Rogan of the chimps i'm pretty sure you when gingus con like one of his titles was he who rules and all there's like something about felt houses so that it that they had such disdain for people lived in houses look at them fat cats with their [45:03] asses they all lived in tents. They lived in felt tents. So they never had houses. They thought you were a pussy. Yeah. If you lived in a house. Yeah, you get to protect it. Yeah. So like, and you think about how horrific the Mongol Empire was and what they did, I mean, the Mongols killed somewhere around 50 to 70 million people during Ginghis Khan's life. They reduced the population, the planet by 10%. They changed the carbon footprint dude. I think Hitler gets too much credit. That's the one everyone knows. Everyone wants to reference Hitler. Nobody's talking about Napoleon or... What about what Stalin did? Mussolini or Stalin or even the Mongol. Like you know what I'm saying? Like those ones don't get enough kind of like, you know what I'm like. Why, I used to have a joke about it, like that you could be a pirate for Halloween. Like, you know, crazy it is. Like pirates are the most fucking evil creatures that ever existed. They're the most famous rapists. Yeah. That's what you go, what do pirates do? [46:00] Yeah. Yeah, rape and pillage rape and murder rape is the first thing. Yeah, you can't be a you should be able to be synonymous with the title. It's like priest, chomelester. You think about it. Don't cancel the white girl with the Indian head dress at Halloween. You should be canceling the pirates. That was not a fair comparison. There's way more pirates raped than priests. I like, I'll probably all pirates raped. Oh, for sure priest that are pedophiles. It's probably only one out of a thousand. What are you gonna do? Romance them you're only in town for a couple days Joe. I got to get this stuff I got a bank somebody and I got to get on the boat now. I don't have time to take it out to dinner Well, they just took over things and killed everybody. That's what they did So do you think you think you the fact that that's a prefer the old times? You know, like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm a realist. The old times were horrific, but you died from everything. You'd have been a man of that time. Yeah, for as long as I lived, there's no way I'd be like this at 56. I would be already murdered. It's true. Somebody would have got me. I would have been zigging when I should have zagged it would have caught an arrow. So I'm gonna be fine. You know why? Because I'm a talker. [47:05] Yeah. I'd have been the, I wouldn't have been the fight challenge guy. I'd probably- That doesn't always work man. Sometimes they just cut off one of your hands. Oh for sure. Just be some prop. After you talk too much, I just cut off one of your hands. Not even kill you Bro, this is so serious. Well, like when I watch the cowboy movies, right? I really love cowboy stuff. When I watch those I don't identify with the lead cowboy. I don't identify with the gunslinger. You know what I identify with when they go into the saloon And the guy's like, boy, what do you have? And he's like wiping down a glass What do you guys add? Pour the whiskey for you guys? And then when you guys start fucking shoot it I just get it. I think I'd be that guy. And they'd be like, I like Jeff Barrie. You know that he's got, you want to swing by C Jeff? He's always got a little joke for ya. He's got the whiskey in the glass. I identify with that guy. And that guy's life's not great. No. But I think I could do that. I think I'd survive that way. That's a good Yeah, as long as nobody breaks a bottle I got no problems with any but you guys try to find it go hey, I'll clean it up when you guys leave your problem being a bartender in the [48:08] All West as your little too fucking handsome That effect me. Yeah, the girls would be talking to you Oh, and then the guys want to kill you. Oh, did you work the road? I don't know you much about your your comment before you were very successful Yeah, I did the road so I have a joke that I put in my act whenever I'm in a small town. It's just a Norfolk. And I was like, I'm looking for a Norfolk experience. You guys know what it's like. Beautiful girl will flirt with me. Her big boyfriend will beat the shit out of me. And then I'll get out of here. Like that's every small town. That's how it works. Some girl She's hot, but she's got tattoos and a zanny problem. And then you were talking to me. So maybe that would happen. Well, there's girls that likes to sick their pit bulls. Unmen, that's what it is. One of those boys from his pit bull. And they get excited by their man's fight for me. Dude, that's real. Yeah, those girls get you in the trouble. [49:02] There was a girl that the best sexual chemistry I've ever had with a woman. And I hate cliches. I'll tell you this last night. I don't like anything I've heard before. So you know, the old stupid, like the crazy ones are the best sexually. I mean, no. That's cliches sucks. I know. There's nice girls that are freaks. They're really good. Yeah, exactly. But this girl, I hate to say it, she was easily the best sexual chemistry ever. But she broke into my house. And she also would climb the gate in like a vaguest dress. I mean, she was the best sexually, but she was a psycho, a crazy person. And Tony says that exotic and neurotic are closely related, or not psychotic rather. Psychotic and Jesus Christ. What happened to my voice? Psychotic and erotic, right? They're completely interconnected. They flirt with that one. Yeah, they're in there together. Tony's there. Shout out to Tony. Yeah, I'm like, he's dead right. Like there's something about like the energy that someone would have that's so unique [50:00] and so aggressive sexually, like, you know, like some girls just behaving like a complete Ninfo psycho. And you're like, oh my God, this is wild. And when you're a young guy, you're a wild sexy, yeah. You're a guy and you're free, and you can't believe this is how, but you don't have good preservation instincts because you wouldn't be friends with a guy like that. That's a crazy person. Yeah, but we do,'m a we talk about we like crazy people. Yeah, they're fun. They're fun. Yeah crazy people are fun It's a problem or legitimately crazy. It's fun. Yeah, yeah, it makes things It's like how much can you control the crazy? It's like do you have a Ferrari? Yeah, that Ferrari has 700 doors You know how to drive that like how much could you control that crazy because occasionally you're gonna Fuck it spin out around the the corners one of my best friends is a crazy person who I love them But you know, I can't tell you how often there's some situation where I go hey bud Right, you know, we can't do that again at a comedy club You know, but buddy is the guy that I promise you probably my only friend who if I went to his house and goes Hey, something bad happened. We got to get rid of this body [51:02] Yeah, they he would just be like, let's do this. You know, and I mean, he really would. And that's scary a little. Yeah, it is, but that's the kind of humans you want. Because all these rules that we have are all just created by humans, we've agreed to them as if they're unbreakable, doctrine, listen to me and listen very carefully. If the power goes out for too long. All those rules are bullshit and that guy who will bury a body for you is the kind of person you want on your team. 100%. The reality of the hour goes out, I'm probably gonna show up to your place. Be in the gym. Go, can I just be in your gym? I've thought about literally setting up a ranch out here, just specifically for if things go sideways. Yeah, why don't you just just set up this place is safe. It's not that safe. Dude, if things go sideways, it's not safe anywhere. You, we have to understand that this society that we have that stays civil and beautiful and, you know, [52:02] and equitable and we have all this change that's happening in the world. This is only possible if you can get goods and services to people and if people have access to information. It is not hard to shut that off. If the power went out in this country, if someone attacked the grid and just destroyed our power grid and destroyed our satellites, if there was a coordinated effort by multiple superpowers to just destroy our satellites, destroy our grid, we would be in chaos quickly. Pretty fast, yeah, yeah. Wiggly, very quickly. And then, if it lasts too long and there's some sort of a hostile military takeover of the country, you're living in a totally different world than the one you live in now. Now you live in China and you never thought that was possible. You thought that you would be able to just exist here and demand universal basic income and you would have all these ideas in your head about the border walls racist and then all the sudden [53:07] You live in a world that's unrecognizable And that's just an example of what could happen if someone acts if a human being does something Which is very similar to what other human beings are doing right now all over the world What's happening right now in Ukraine? What's happening right now in Israel that is human beings are doing right now all over the world. What's happening right now in Ukraine, what's happening right now in Israel, that is human beings launching bombs at people they've never met. That's happening for sure. The idea that that is not gonna happen here is just stupid, it's stupid. If you're living in Gaza right now, think about that reality. Think about the reality of where you used to sleep at night is now rubble. Everything around it is rubble. If you're lucky and you can see that because you're alive. Yeah, but some women have to deal with cat calling, Joe. Listen, it's always good to move forward. [54:01] It's always good to call out bullshit, but at a certain important time, you need perspective. You know, don't clean your bathroom while your fucking house is on fire. You know, figure out what the fuck we need to do to make sure we don't blow ourselves up. And that's just if humans act. The real thing is stuff from somewhere else. The real thing is asteroids. That's the real one, kids. If you look at the moon, that's us. The moon is pelted, pelted by asteroids. There's craters everywhere. You look at every other planet that we could see. They go get hit. You look at the surface of our planet. There's craters everywhere, everywhere. This fucking place gets hit a lot. I don't like to think about space for those reasons. Nobody likes to think about it. Well, because I can't control anything but me. Right? And so if I can't even control the people in my, [55:01] you know, the governor can't even control that guy. The space, you seem so big, going like, oh, an asteroid, what are you gonna do? What's the plan for an asteroid? There's no plan right now. I think they've got some theories of how to do something, but last time I spoke to someone who's an expert on the subject, he said it was about 10 years away from them being able to actually successfully divert asteroids. And then also you got a spot em' all. Some of them are coming from behind the sun and apparently the way the gravity of the sun works is it's so massive. It distorts the view of things that are coming from behind it. Yeah, the asteroid goes, how about a sucker punch? You know, just a sucker punch or they won't be right. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is I had to ever looked at the size of our son in comparison to earth. Yeah, and then look at other sons in comparison to our son The biggest sons that are out there's other sons. That's where I'm at education. I don't even know there's other sons Well, it was stars stars our stars are suns basically. But the really big ones are bigger in proportion [56:09] to like what you see earth and the sun. And they see the sun and it, they're bigger than that. Like these things are so big. I hate Neil the grass Tyson or Neil the grass. Whatever that guy's name is, I hate you. You suck in my opinion, I think you're a bozo. But he did say a really interesting thing once where he was talking about aliens. It might have been to you. Why do you hate him? Well, he said this thing, I'll get to that and I said. He said, he goes, he's talking about life on other planets and he goes saying that there isn't life, you know, other than us, is like taking a thimble of ocean water and going look, there's no whales, there's no whales in here. And it's really like that's a great analogy. Like of course there's life out there. Yeah, most likely there's life. So this is just showing, this is just showing the relative sizes and then showing. Oh my gosh. So you go all the way from earth to the sun [57:02] and now serious A and then look at this one. Look at Pollux. And look at this one. Arcturus. Now look how much bigger they are than the Earth. Look at this one. Look at that one. Aldura. Look at this guy. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, just wait. Look at this motherfucker. What's that? That's a blue hypergiant star called pistol star. I just called God. No, look, he keeps going dude. What is this one? No, these are the stars. This is how crazy the universe is. Look at that one. Stevenson. Now, no, no, no, we're not done. Look at the size. No, no, no, no, no. Look at the size of a black hole. Super massive black hole. Now look at the size of this one. This is blowing my mind. Bro, there's black holes out there the size of galaxies. Joe, if we were on mushrooms right now, I would be quiet for about four minutes after this. Just go ahead. Okay, can you give me four minutes to just look at your roof first? [58:01] I can. That's insane. Dude, look at the size of these galaxies too. 220 light years across, 1,862 light years across. Yes, if that. Look at this one. 54,000 light years across. Oh, there's us, 105 Milky Way. Do you ever been to a place where you could really see the stars at night? Yeah, that's one of my favorite things about being like camping camping out in the dish that's dark and beautiful. It is. It's really beautiful. It's wild right when you go that's up there all the time Do you think aliens do you think aliens are looking at us going? This guy's he's all losing his mind over a slam dunk You know, he's gone like, they're all, everyone on this planet's gone, that guy slam dunks the best. When you look at the world like the universe like that, and you go all these earthlings are wearing the same shirt as that guy that dunks the best. [59:00] Not the guy that survives the best, not the guy that can feed the most or is the most noble or is the most, we're all losing our mind about the guy that made the most three pointers. Well, I think it all has to do with war. That's what I think. How so? I think the desire to be good at competitive athletics is the roots of it are all in war. It all started in war. That's what I think. And I think that that instinct to dominate and to get better at one-on-one competition or team competition all started from tactics and strategies in war. And that desire, that human reward system is still in our heads. And we know that we don't want to do that anymore. So we have to find other ways of doing it. A little game. Yeah, so I think the aliens would realize, like, oh, their human reward system got hijacked for something that doesn't even matter. Like, I play pool, right? [1:00:01] I love pool. And when I play it, it's like, if you watch, it's like, why do you give a fuck if the ball goes in the hole? It's stupid. Right. But it's this coordinated mind effort thing that ignites that part of the brain that wants you to be good at war. That's why we love competition. That's why we watch like watching. It's like a built-in reward system in our mind And then also like if we're a society that's constantly looking to innovate we're constantly looking for people that are Pushing the boundaries of whatever they do whether it's music whatever they do comedy Pushing the boundary like someone who's at the front of the line just out there chasing it Yeah, because that's sort of applies to society as a whole So if someone's doing that in a very public sphere like playing in the NFL That's that that it excites the energy of the people to do more things I think it's like a tribal like reward system [1:01:01] Yeah, like a little mini. Yeah, So I think the aliens would recognize that. I hope I think they would say this is probably a normal progression of you know territorial apes then territorial apes with nuclear weapons and the territorial apes that eventually evolve and then go out into the stars. That's probably it's probably how it always has to happen. Neither one of them died and that one's better. Because I don't think that's a competition. I don't think you ever get the kind of innovation that you have today, or that you've probably had in the past. I don't think you build the pyramids without competition. Well, in fact, yeah. Yeah, there's something about that aspect of the human spirit that we wanna compete, we wanna win., that fuels us in a way that like people are embarrassed by I think sometimes. It's one of the things they hate about Trump. We're winning, we're always gonna win. Yeah. We're winners. We're losers. I like that a bit. They're all losers. If you read his book, I don't read any books. I listen to books. Yeah, I listen to books most of them. About 10,000 books a year. That's what I'm doing. [1:02:06] John Rian, 10 books a day. I heard this another guy who does that too. Yeah. Kindred spirit. No, so I listen to about, I listen to one book probably every week and a half. You know, because audible, you can crank them out. I'll be like playing video games or driving or on an airplane or something. So I just listen to a lot of books and trying to think why I brought that up. What were we saying before the book? Trump winning. Oh yeah, Trump's book. Thank you, Jim. The art of the deal. He's always talked like that. Even before it was a president. So if you know that that's just kind of how he is, you'd have totally understood that that's how real estate guys taught my buildings the best and it's the biggest and yeah they go it's not the biggest and they go it's the best hotel that's like that's how he is so once you know that it's it isn't like he's lying or anything it's just that's what he that's how the man is from a different era yeah and by the way he was celebrated forever forever and then they turned him into a monster for the [1:03:01] presidential campaign yeah before that oh they turn he turned himself into a monster initially, because he was claiming that Obama was from Kenya. Yeah. That was a tough hill to die on too. Yeah. Like it would, here's my tip. Who gives a fuck what patch of dirt you're born on? Are we trying to pretend that he was like some embedded, he was a strange one that one. Yeah, was he like an embedded enemy operatives. I'm not an Obama guy I'm trying any means, but I remember being like I don't care where it is It's a weird thing to care about like why do you care? Like especially oh, I mean Trump was a lifelong Democrat like most of his life he was Democrat Which is what a weird thing to care that this one guy who's listen put policy aside I said this a thousand times. I'll say it again, that's the best president we've ever had. Well, it's charming. Because he's the best representation of what we would hope we would want the world to see of America. Yeah. Very highly educated, likeable. Likeable. Likeable. Even keeled, emotionally balanced, brilliant man. Not too black. Not too black. Who was, who was, but also pulled himself up from hard time single mother very likable very [1:04:06] charismatic so all those things and you care what patch of dirty was born right what should you you should really care like what are the policies what's what's what's good what's bad what's good for business what's bad for business what's good for the the world order the economy what's good for you know international relations that's what you should be king it and that's the adverse problem with Trump. Is that nobody's looking at the policies. They're just going unlikable, you know, talks from the hip, you know. And so like it's the reverse problem. We have a guy who I think, I like Trump for being America first. And I like that he's so unlikeable. Well, that that's what works against me. The media also, you gotta realize that for all these years, all these years, they were pushing this bullshit about this Russia collusion. They were talking about the steel dossier, [1:05:01] this fake thing that the Clinton campaign funded. They were doing all these things to Demonize yeah at the same time they were lying about the Hunter Biden laptop. Yeah, it's just you got spoon fed some bullshit Unfortunately and on top of that. He's an easy guy to hate. Yeah, so it's both of those He doesn't try to be they never played the game and so then the yeah, I mean he's got you know You've definitely got some stretches of the truth You know if I was Joe Roggan you know who I try to hang out with all the time is who George W. Bush. Oh, I think he'd be a cool guy to hang out Maybe depressed maybe just painting thinking the old people that died I like the thing that he's doing Playing catch about a million dead Iraqis I think that he's doing just playing catch and thinking about a million dead Iraqis. There he is, that's it. But I mean, as a guy. That's one of those ones, dude. That's that one. Like if I was president while the Iraq, you know, I was responsible for that and I was still alive. Heavy. I'd be like, check please. I don't want this fucking vibe on me. There's no way you're having good days. Yeah. If you're a consumable person, you think, look, we know the weapons and mass destruction [1:06:08] shit was bullshit. Right, right, right. We know it now. It's universally accepted. Well, that's why that war was started. For sure. And Obama, I mean, he's got a lot of deaths on his. A lot of drones. Yeah, a lot of drones. A different type of ramped up then yeah, he went for the number We're for the record. We're for the record the sky robots with missiles are the scariest I know every Sam triply tweeter that I see is a of you know some robot chasing a soldier and then touching the soldier and Blondie man. Yeah, yeah, man You're a video game Imagine being in Yemen and you're on your way to a wedding and there's a whole line of you driving towards this wedding. And you're like, what are the odds? We get nuked from the sky. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Scary. To be in a line of cars headed somewhere in Yemen. I just meant George W seems cool, you know, [1:07:01] with the baseball and the cigars and the beers. I don't want to think about that part of it. You cousins a terrorist and he happens to be in the third car back. He's just here for the wedding. Yeah. Don't let the cousin come. He's got metadata. You should stay home, Andre. You know, because that's what they did with some of those drone attacks. They attacked metadata. I know. So if you are, I don't know what metadata is. This is what it is. So if you are texting from a cell phone, if you're calling from a cell phone, and they can locate that cell phone, they can triangulate the area where that cell phone is, there's been times where they just send a missile to that cell phone. Oh my God. He's in a cafe. You could be, that cell phone, your baby could be sitting in the crib playing a game on your phone, like legitimately. And the number of people that are just innocent civilians versus the number of targets that get killed by drones is off the charts. You don't even know what your dad does for a living. You don't even know what he's, [1:08:00] how he's making money on it. You're a baby. And you're like watching a YouTube video. Oh my gosh. You hit with a missile This is why America's great is that I don't you know, you know You don't we have the luxury of I may at least I do yeah, I have the luxury of not thinking about that all day Yeah, you know the people to think about are the drone operators Yeah, they go through a very bizarre state of PTSD apparently I see if you can find anything on that because I was reading something about that. Like that's a weird PTSD that it drone operators can. To be separated from it. Well, dude, it's like playing Call of Duty all day but you're really killing people. Yeah, people are really dumb. I had a guy watching on a screen. I don't think he would want me to say his name. I won't say his um but he was like I'm Joe I met this guy for I'm pretty good at making friends pretty quick I'm just chatting them up at the bar in San Diego military guy he's all jacked he just seems like a like a cool guy he's like oh I know your comedy man your friends with Josh and blah blah blah so I just chop it up with him I'm probably talking to this guy for minimum [1:09:00] five minutes and I go what do you do man he's like oh I'm in the military and I was like you know San Diego so I go oh night well thanks for your service I do the whole thing and because you want to see I'm like yeah yeah I didn't think anything of it he pulls up on his phone a Drone attack that he that he did and and it's it looks like a video game to the that's the only context I have is of what a video game would look like and And there's a guy here, a guy here, a guy here. And he gets the one guy, the two guys run away, and then a dog was like right next to the guy. The dog's fine too. And he was gone and see that. Got that guy and even the dog lived. And those two guys next to him, I got him. And in my, but I've never seen anything like this in my life and I go, wait, wait, that guy's dead now. He goes, yeah, I did that, like literally like last week. And he showed it to me on his phone. He's got like a saved file to a stranger that he met five minutes ago. I don't think that's legal. Really? I bet that footage is like highly classified. Really? Yeah, I bet you can get really fine. Well, it's good I didn't say his name. There's no conclusion of a study on it done in 2021. And right here it says, [1:10:09] because if they admit psychological issues, they're gonna probably, they could lose their job. So there's not a lot of known, it's like the concussion thing in the NFL. Yeah, like they're saying in this whole study, like they know there is something here, but because it's really hard to study, and it's so secret. I mean, I think it has to be a thing. There's no way you could be able to launch missiles out of a robot in the sky and accidentally kill 80% civilian. It feels nothing. Yeah. What is the actual numbers of civilians killed in drone strikes? I know we've done this before, but I can never remember. But it's kind of nuts. It's not like 50-50. Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. 50-50 is like the gochable. Half, you know. The guys are really bad guys. Gonna kill a million people with a nuclear bomb. We could bomb as apartment building and kill a few unfortunate folks that happen to be in the vicinity, but we have to get them. That's why it's good to be a comedian. Oh my God. [1:11:00] The decisions I have to make so much better. Yeah, it's so much better Yeah, like but also just the thinking about You know because the the guy that I'm referencing he didn't make those decisions. He's been right trained to do that Yeah, someone else has to make that decision. I just don't be supposed to show people that video It was right. I don't think you even supposed to have that video. I haven't shut the fuck up about it since it happened That That was like four years ago, five years ago. I was going, I just couldn't believe it. It's what, it's fucking nuts. Yeah, there's so many of those videos now. You could see so much war footage now. Because you see all this stuff. I remember a long time ago, they showed you two girls one cup. And you're in red bed, yeah. But your reaction was know, and then the what you referenced, we all, as fans go, and what is he talking about? And then we find that stuff we're going, huh, at least shit, like, yeah. But like, like, what is the, I don't even know what the dark web is. Well, you don't have to go, I don't do that. But just on Instagram alone, now, every day, yeah, yeah. Instagram is bananas now. But back then, you knew where stuff was and you were the last. Air strikes. Okay, hold on a second. [1:12:05] US Air strikes killed at least 22,000 civilians since 9-11. So that's the number of people that were killed, but what's the percentage? Because there was a crazy percentage of casualties that were not, you know, they're just civilians. It's just civilians. Oh no. Right, but I'm, what is the percentage? There was a percentage number. Something nuts, like over 80% civilian deaths. You think it'd be like 400, right? You go, oops, 400. Not oops, 22,000. The death of this year was during Trump. 2017 would at least 4,931 civilians were likely killed. The vast majority in coalition bombings of Iraq and Syria. However, going by maximum estimates, 2017 emerges as the worst year for civilians with up to 19,623 killed almost all in the bombing campaign against ISIS. [1:13:02] Death toll from US air strikes, 387,000 civilians who are believed to have been killed by all parties during the war on terror. Wow. I take it back. I get why the aliens go. Oh, I get why he likes the guy that dunks. Yeah. That guy didn't weigh better than this. Yeah. Unfortunately, no one can imagine a world without that stuff That's what's crazy It's if you if you said to people like what are the odds? There will be no war in five years everyone's gonna say fucking zero Okay, here it is Suggest that civilians make up between 7.27% and 15.47% of the deaths in US drones strikes in Pakistan Hmm Just those three places doesn't include just those three places. This doesn't include like Afghanistan or Iraq or Iran. Hmm. I've heard it like way skewed in the other direction. Sure. I'm also under the assumption that this data isn't going to be most prevalent in a search. Right. [1:14:00] But it seems like there's got to be somebody who compiled that. I'm looking but I still like getting lost in different websites that are old. 2014 when people were talking about this a lot more. And there's nothing just saying the number right up front. It's a crazy way to kill people. It really is. It's just, I mean, and ultimately we're probably gonna look at this the way we look at cannonballs. You know, like cannonballs now are ridiculous because we have missiles. Why would you use a cannonball when I could just fall reckons? We have hypersonic missiles. Hypersonic missiles are a real thing that human beings are created. They can change direction in the air. That's amazing. You can't figure out where the fuck they're going. And by the time you do, they've already hit. Yeah. They go fast in the speed of sound. Imagine a cannonball coming at you. So, he's still using this? So what is this? Yeah, so Murphy misfired, claimed that eight out of ten saying that this is not the correct quote. Oh, he fucked up by saying that. Oh, he just made it. Well, I'm glad they made it the headline, you know [1:15:11] That's good for guys like me. Yeah. Um Either way, civilian death toll is calculated between so here's the other problem too that I've been told The problem is a lot of times when they get their death numbers, they're getting them from the ground. They're getting them from people on the ground, and whether it's ISIS or whoever will exaggerate the amount of civilian deaths. Oh, okay. And so to make it look terrible, I mean, this is one of the reasons why, a commas does things in hospitals. You know, they just kill those guys in hospitals the other day. So don't they live under the hospitals and stuff like that's where the base is. That's supposedly I don't know enough to comment on that, but I do know that that's what they've always said of these guys operate in places where you can't bomb like hospitals. Yeah, it turns out that was true in this case. They killed these three guys in the hospital. It was true over a five month period in Afghanistan over a decade ago. That ate out of 10. [1:16:06] So, eight out of 10. That was accurate. So what are you getting trouble for saying it for? Because he was talking, I don't know. So what, so what, what you mad at Neil deGrasse Tyson for? I'm not mad at him. I'm annoyed that a man of science would say things like, you know, I like to get my information from smart people. I like to get my information from smart people. I like to think that a guy like him, who's very smart, would say a smart thing that has no emotions linked to it. You like to think, give me the facts. Give me some stuff. Which does with a lot of things. Yeah, I used to really like him a lot. And then you'll say something like, someone will say, well, like biologically, we have a male and a female has chromosomes, different chromosomes than a man. You can look at the bones of a man and a bones of a female. And despite what's going on in your emotions and in your soul or spirit or whatever we want to label it, if we're just talking about the biological makeup of something, we can put them into two categories. Yes. [1:17:00] Forget what your spirit is or your essence or how you feel. If we're just looking at the meat and bones and cells and chromosomes of something, we can make biological arguments that there is a male and a female. And then his argument goes, why do you care? What do you mean why do I care? That you're the man of science. You should tell me that that should be your argument is that with we're just looking at biology and not the spirit of someone or whatever, the feelings. And instead, his argument is, why do you care? I care. You know, I want you to tell people facts about things scientifically, not just go, what does it matter? You go, well, when you go on about the cosmos, what people don't go, why do you care? We care. You're like, that's not a good scientific argument for things. And he's really jump ship on science as a science guy. Yeah, it's bizarre, but it's a mind virus. And it's a mind virus that demands compliance. You have to comply to this ridiculous new ideology. [1:18:03] And a part of that, and this is where it really annoyed me about his argument was that that should apply somehow to sports oh yeah and this is where this is going this is why it's so crazy that that is absolutely insane that's absolutely insane this is not saying that people shouldn't be allowed to be transgender of course they should do it we can try to nice yes and also facts, but you cannot just say you're a woman and compete with women in sports. And if you support that, scientifically, that is untenable. That's just scientifically with the amount of data that we have about the differences between males and females in sports. The gap is so wide that you're going to have your outliers, their extraordinary females and your weak men, and they're gonna cross the line. They love to use those examples. Yeah, but those examples aren't valid, because if you take a biological male of normal athletic ability, competing against a biological female, who is elite of elite, the biological male has massive advantages, [1:19:02] especially in things like combat sports. So they just passed a thing allowing biological males to identify as females and box females. That's crazy to me. And I don't know what parameters they have. You can't just be making weight because if it's just making weight, like holy shit, are you testing testosterone levels? Are you making shit? Cause what are you doing? Like what are you doing? You know what you're doing? You're not even separated. It's so crazy to let them do this. Because there are people that are legitimately transgender and they again should be able to do whatever they want to do. But there's also people that are out of their fucking mind. Be reasonable. That's all it is. And there's people that literally, if you allow them to pretend to be a woman and beat women up, they will do it. Yep. Well, it's funny. I use Brendan's job in the bit. I'm doing it on my special, the last cowboy in LA. I have a bit where I talk about Fallon Fox. Right. And I'm, cause I used to be one of these guys. I'm a comedian. I want everyone to laugh. I want to be the clown. People go this. I saw the clown and made me happy. Going to work tomorrow happy. So I used [1:20:09] to be one of these guys who goes, I don't, you know, I don't know. Ask someone else. That used to be me from Seattle going, hey, I don't know. I don't know. I can't believe they're letting a woman fight in UFC. She's a, she's a biological male who wasn't the you see it was a small was a small or an ass and i saw that i said i saw that you know how you know how i don't have no opinions that but then you watch it and it's like uh... it's like the one girl in the car i'm to make a you know and then this can then go versus fallen fox like uh... and i was ago maybe i have some opinions i got it right away they're gonna let them fight like yeah, that's when you start going maybe I do have some and you saw the fight Bob I'm I got I formed a few opinions about this subject. It looked like domestic violence. It was crazy Like that we don't like it. We did the voice Oh, what the fuck but you can't watch that and then still be like a tepid guy who's like oh, you know I don't really have an opinion on this let them do what they want back then [1:21:06] Neil deGrasse Tyson wasn't chiming in like ever. No. Yeah. So this is, he got caught up in that same silly mind virus. Look, it doesn't mean you're not a compassionate person that recognizes that there's a whole wide variety of human beings that feel different than you. Sure. And we should be open-minded to that for sure. But you should also protect women. You should protect women's sports and protect women that are forced to in high school, in college, and even in some professional sports, forced to compete against people that have significant physical advantages. And about a lot of those people who are out of their fucking minds, how about tell me what percentage of them have mental issues? What percentage of these people that are of them have mental issues? What percentage of these people that are doing this have mental issues? Probably a lot and you're allowing them to get all this credit and all this extra love. People lean in, you see in comics lean into their audience and become a different person because they develop a certain audience and they kind of like, [1:22:02] oh, this is I'm going to lean into that. People lean into everything. They'll lean into being a woman. They'll just decide. Look at my glove, I guess. You need a woman. You put the lipstick on. Oh girl, you look so good. Thank you baby. And then you're all cosplan and they lean into it. Well, but there's also legit trans people right there's legit people that really should be a woman nature just fucked you yeah you gotta shit hand cards and got all jumbled up or whatever it was and you why do you care well i'll tell you what if i had a daughter that's trying to get a swimming scholarship like then you care then you care you you start to say why like for someone smart and famous and someone who could be on a thing like this to maybe say these things Instead of just going, well, why would you care some people care? There's there's people that care about these subjects are he sent me this karate fight the other day Which is guy and a girl it's so quick and so violent. It's so disturbing [1:23:01] It's so disturbing that someone let this happen in the first place. And I think they're both black belts. Okay. And this guy man handles this lady so quickly and so awfully, if you can't find it, I'll find it. I'm gonna send it to you. I can show this to you. Let me show you. Let me see. They're both wearing white karate geese and they're standing apart from each other. This is it is. Look at this. Oh, that first one was bro. This is like and that's the last one. He's a dick. He's a dick. What's the leg thing she's doing here? She's just tapping. Yeah, but that last part, bitch slaps her to the ground. That's the difference to you males and females when it comes especially to combat sports. It's not fair. There's not a world where that's fair. Yeah, and if you do, and if you do think that this is fine, you know, let make a men versus women NFL. Let's just do that. Let's do it. If you really think, you know, the men would win 60 years in a row. We'd be like, we won the championship again. The field would just be covered of broken women. Like I broke my [1:24:02] FAMER. I'm waiting for trans men or trans women in the WNBA. Like when... When that starts, yeah. Bro, all of a sudden would be an exciting game. I'd watch. Yeah, we got dunks now. Not just that, but you got freaks. Yeah. It's a wild freak show. And you know what it is, it's like seven foot dudes with lipstick on. Even even if there was a woman who was so good at women's basketball that she could compete in the NBA, I would say don't let her do it. Because it's also like well that's not what we're doing here. Otherwise then the men could go play with you because they're good enough. Did you see this I think he's a professor somewhere in Canada. He's a 50 year old man who identifies as a teenage girl And so he's competing with teenage girls and swimming. I've not seen this and they let him change in the same changing room Yeah, those see these things that matter so they let this 50 year old man whip his cock out. Yeah, and be naked [1:25:01] That's wild in the presence of teenage girls So they apparently they like put curtains up to try to shield it. 50 year old trans swimmer shared locker room while competing against teens. The girls were terrified and look at that crazy fuck. Yeah, this is This is so nuts that anybody would allow that someone might be listening to this and go. Oh, come on This is like an isolate. Yeah, but even if it happens once, don't you think that's too much? This happens one time. This is just like the found fox thing. When that happened, I was outraged and I was like, this is ridiculous. That's a guy and people got so mad at me. And I was like, this is a wild thing to get mad at. I'm not getting mad at someone for being trans. I'm getting mad at someone for lying and not saying they were trans for two fights. Two fights and look, if you're a trans woman and a biological female agrees to fight you, I feel the same way that I feel when someone's gonna ride a bull. Like, I wouldn't recommend it. Oh yeah, yeah. But if you want to do it, I support you right to do whatever the fuck you want to do. [1:26:01] There's a woman who fought in the UFC, Ashley Smith and she actually beat found Fox okay she beat her she mounted her and pounded on it but she's a really good fighter and she made it to the UFC where she lost to Raquel Pennington who is the current UFC band-in-way champion so she's a legit fighter yeah but it starts with that and if it keeps going, if you can really, if there's enough people that promote this term, minor attracted person, that term is so crazy to me. That it almost feels like a forechand troll that just went a muck and just like free bleeding. You know, free bleeding was a forechand troll. Yeah. I think it was, right? Didn't start off as a four-chantrol. So they decided to pretend that real feminism is just letting your vagina just leak blood into your pants and it's proudly showing off your sweat. On a sanitary, it's ridiculous. And some women started doing it. It's crazy. And some women started doing it. But now imagine me going, why do you care, Joe? [1:27:02] Yeah. So, 50-year-olds change in front of a 16-year-old than this. Why do you care? Why do you care? Why do you care? I think we should care. Yeah. If it happens even one time. Let's say it doesn't become this bigger social issue, it shouldn't happen once. Well, this is the question. Do pedophiles exist? 100%. Yes. Do perverts and sex offenders exist. They exist. These are real things that we know are in the human race. If the possibility of someone that is one of those things and all they have to do is say they're a woman. They've access to dishonesty. That's, it's, you had a Willy Wonka golden ticket to go wherever you want. You just have to say you're a woman. You don't think that a serial pedophile would do that. If you have all the sudden, all I gotta do is lie. You can say it. You can just say I'm a woman. Yeah. Do you see the guy won the LPGA tournament? Stop? [1:28:05] It's not a LPGA. Whatever it is. Yeah, I mean, it's oh, sorry, women's golf. Yeah, it sort of matters, but that's also it was like I was just reading about it. So this dude just decides he's woman. Plits the skirt on a lot. Yeah, it appears at all. It just murders this woman's woman's woman's. You know,, Jay anything. No, no, no, I said it was a generic assignment surgery here. He had it. Yeah. Okay. Well, at least she's hot, you know, Haley Davidson. So you have to go through the surgery. Um, wait a minute. Is that the same one? Yeah. Let me see the look at this. This story went back to 2022. I didn't know that it's been going on for a little while. I thought one just happened. This one just happened. Oh, this one just happened. This is an LPGA qualifying event. Oh, okay. That's when you get when they add LPGA to the headline and make more news than anything, and then at the next year. That's why you shouldn't believe everything you see on Instagram Reels. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I'm going, is that true? That's exactly what happens. [1:29:05] So is this the first transgender woman to win golf tour? I believe so. It's a winning event. Yeah. And then what happens though? By winning this event, she earns an opportunity to play more which could lead to LPGA qualifying spot. Yeah. Then she did win. Let me see. Yeah, that's qualifying spot. Yeah, then she did win money. Let me see. Yeah, that's the person. Yeah, there she is, huh? Wild. Let's see your next. Let's see your next to some other gals. There you go. There you go. And I claimed also that by after having all of the surgeries and stuff, lost 15 miles an hour on club head speed, which is a lot. I could get in that back, I guess, but I don't know. Yeah, well, that sounds like a lot, but also I bet. Why do you care? But don't you think it's still probably faster than the women's? Yeah, so that the average for a man, it was saying is about 115 on the PGA2 [1:30:00] and the average LPGA is about 95. And it doesn't say where they were before or after. Also, is that what he said or was that what was measured? This is just average in general, it's not, you know. It's not here. You definitely lose something. If you're on estrogen and you have your testes removed, he claims, she lost it too much. Yeah, I thought she had her own. You could also just start. Math, not even a star. She lost 15 miles from her own math. You're not gonna say I have a fucking huge advantage. You're gonna dude my whole life. Yeah, you're not gonna say that. They lost 15 miles an hour. I'm basically a woman now. I bet they love to say. I'm one that turned him it just because I'm awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Courage. When I lack in head club speed, I gained in bravery. Yeah, and not having wide hips. There's a lot of things with hips, like the shape of hips. You don't generate the same amount of power. Like women, kickers, there's such a vast difference between a woman, kicker and a man, kicker. It's kind of stunning. And I don't, I wonder if like a lot of that has to do [1:31:00] with the shape of the hips. Because if you get a woman who is like a hundred and thirty five pounds and ever hit a bag, and then you have a man who's a hundred and thirty five pounds and hit the bag, the difference is so start. Oh, yeah. You're like, this is crazy because your legs are carrying around all day long, right? But there's a lot of other shit going on. There's tendon strength. There's bone density. There's there's the shape of the hips, I'm sure too. But it's also something that happens to the human body when it evolves or it develops rather with testosterone. Like you're gonna be stronger forever. Like you're never gonna go back to what it would be like if you had been born a woman. Like it's like taking steroids for 20 years, hardcore. Like that literally turn you into a guy. I know it, I'm done. I'm not taking steroids anymore, we're the same. It's crazy. You're cheating your whole life. Like if you got caught doing that in the UFC, you're fucking banned. You're banned for two years. And if you could caught again, [1:32:00] I think you're banned for six years. It's something wild like that. So if you're just like taking testosterone, your whole life, your whole life. And all these other women are, you know, just fucking being normal and cheerleading and going to parties. You're being against them. It's insane. I know a girl who's a professional fuzball player, Kelsey Cook, the comedian. Oh yeah. She had Daniels girlfriend. I don't know why I said that, but anyways, I love them. And she's talking about Fuzball. I find it interesting because I don't know anything about Fuzball. And I go, oh, this is probably one of the sports where the man can play with the women because it's Fuzball. And she goes, I hate that I'm admitting this to you because she knows a guy, a man's guy. And she goes, man, heaven, and heaven, and she's in Fuzball. And I go, even Fuzball, and she goes, yes, because it's like that torque of the r- like of a man's arm versus a woman's arm. Even the arm of like, she goes, the man can hit it harder, the spin ray. So even something is what we might think is a frivolous kind of thing like Fuzball, [1:33:01] even that there is just so much of a difference. How about chess? Men have an advantage in chess. Really? I did not know that. Yeah. How? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But for whatever reason, maybe it's more men do it. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the mind, the way the mind works. It's different, the competitive mind. Yeah. I don't know if they're actually showing it's coming from a man have a large and consistent advantage over women in Spatial ability of which chest relies to a large extent and this is a difference in average not just at the high end the male advantage is present pre puberty is present across cultures and time Another one is pool The best professional female pool players never win male tour events. Interesting. They're allowed to enter them. Men can't enter women's events, but women enter like there's certain like major events that women enter all the time, but they never win them. Well, a smart man would say, why do you care? [1:34:00] Why do you care? Because it's a statistic and a sport I care about. It's important. I think it's interesting. Look, there's a lot of women that are really good and they can beat a lot of men. They beat a lot of men, but when they get to the very top, like when you're playing through a pool bracket, say if there's a 100 or so professionals that are in this tournament, they're playing in this double elimination bracket. So you lose once, go to the one lost side, you lose there, you're out of the tournament. So you running against killer after killer because there's a hundred professionals there. And it's there's a high likelihood that someone gets a bunch of good roles, you scratch on the break, a bunch of things happen, person runs out a lot and you lose, you know, seven, nothing to some person and that person happens to be a chick. That's totally possible. You could lose to a woman. But over the course of the tournament, that luck will wear out, and the elite male players will beat the elite female player. How did you show into pool? Where do you play pool? Like you play here personally. Oh, you play. I'll take it here, but also, you know, I'll go places where I can play to Amsterdam, Billiards when I'm in New York City. Yeah, I'll go to pool. Yeah, I don't, that's such a bar game. [1:35:08] It is a bar game, but the type I play is like tournament professional style pool. It's different kind of pool. It's not like eight ball. I play mostly nine ball and 10 ball. And it's a replacement game. I have not, but it looks very difficult. It's fucking huge., tables gigantic and the balls are little the holes are little and it's confusing and yeah, I don't understand it We're in Thailand. We're like let's play pool. We walked over there. We're like this is a different table here Yeah, I don't even know what to do. Yeah, I don't even know how it works I like watching it though It's cool when they're really good at it because I know how hard it must be to be doing that. They used to make a shit ton of money, but there was one guy over there that was a big top guy that got busted fixing a game. They caught him on camera. They got like a hidden camera. So you can find that story, because he was like, you're like a top dog. Just put the ball in with his hand. Well, you just miss. Oh, I see. Yeah, it's not hard to do it all wait what do you mean so that you can fix a pool match so say if I'm a I'm a gangster and [1:36:05] You're a killer pool player. Yeah, and you're gonna play some guy and I'll say Jeff die I got a proposition for you. I'm gonna give you a hundred thousand dollars to blow this game So you're the favorite of the game so maybe there's a lot of you gambling. Yeah, I'd be good at losing. Yeah, you lose on purpose. Yeah, yeah, that's how it works. You can lose on purpose. So is this the story or is this the story? I thought there was a way he's fixing it to win. Dennis Taylor is caught cheating. No, it's not him. What did he do? I don't know. I want to understand the game. I don't know how he could do this. Sharp, I figured it was it. Putting an extra red ball on the table. He just literally added a ball. That's hilarious. He glared on the table and still misses. You could do it. You allowed a climb on the table? Look at this guy. Any touch to the... Yes, look at his goofy glasses. Are you allowed to climb on the table? This might have been a celebrity match, I feel. Oh, it looks like they're all laughing. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not that. It was like a bribery scheme. He was [1:37:06] caught fixing snooker games and it became a criminal investigation because there's so many people that gamble on snooker. Sure. 10 people charged that kind of thing. Yeah, that's probably a fixing scandal. Yeah. How long goes this? This last year. Oh, no, there's a new one. 10 Chinese players. Oh, wow. Listen, pool players are dirty. They're dirty people. Not all of them. It's about a lot of them. It's a game where dudes will dump you. If you have to have a really good relationship with your backers and you got to spread money around if you win, you got to make sure that people don't dump on you. Because if there's a lot of gambling involved, like say if you and I were in a match and we're two top players and you've got a bunch of people that are coming from fucking Cincinnati and Kansas City and Chicago, they're coming to watch this match and there might be a half a million dollars on the side. It might be more. But it happens all the time with top place. [1:38:02] John Higgins, that's the guy. Banned for six months, but cleared of match fixing. Not guilty. Hmm. Tough to prove, maybe. Isn't it weird that gambling is so prevalent in sports? What did he say though? He said something like they were talking to him about fixing the game. There was a recording, right? I just saw, I'll look into this. He was also like a very beloved player. Interesting. But the point is that like, you know, that can... Cover reporter discuss the possibility of throwing frames. Yeah, okay. We need to discuss the possibility of throwing frames, which is like fixing a game, like missing, with the undercover reporter, the news of the world's Mazur Mamoud, Mahmoud for weeks before the trip to Kiev. Unbeknownst to Higgins, Mooney had taken him to Kiev specifically to discuss the matter of throwing frames, but had not raised the possibility of the subject might come up until minutes before the meeting started. Mill said he was unimpressed by Mooney as a witness [1:39:03] and found much of his account highly implausible. Ruined that he should be banned from the sport for life. As Laurie said in a statement, Mr. Mooney bitterly regrets being caught up in the news of the world's entrapment and is unresolvably sorry for the impact. This thing that staying had on snooker and Mr. Higgins in particular. Interesting. It is fascinating. There were some lies. How latent gambling is now? Where it's like, I'm not that I'm not like an old man or anything, but I, you know, they used to act like nobody was gambling on football or their best. And now they'll just have the spreads right up on the screen. That is like, here's the betting line Dr. It's I mean it's pretty like it's like weed I guess like the way the government's like we're just gonna get in on this Yeah, yeah, well that's the right way to do it. I'm especially in America. Yeah, the gambling's dangerous It's dangerous. I've seen people go fucking crazy gambling. I know people who are gambling addicts. It scares the shit out of me. [1:40:05] But I think it should be legal. Just like I think we should be legal. And I think alcohol should be legal. I think you should be able to be responsible with your own decisions and make your own choices and get your fucking shit together. The problem is not gambling. The problem is gambling addicts. Because I can go and gamble, and I'm smart about knowing that this is very addictive and I do it and I get the fuck out of here. And it was kind of fun and then I live my life. You're not gonna lose your house. But I know people that gamble, Kohn. I know some guys, yeah. Dana White, some maniac. Really? But Dana's not gonna lose his house either. So it's like he can. Hey man, he, he's a really. He even really can. Yeah, I like guys like that. We went to visit him at the Red Rocks Casino, and at one point in time, he was down $600,000 playing Blackjack. And he was even nervous. Really? A blackjack? He was gambling on Blackjack? That's so weird. That shows you might have a problem. My buddy Josh, I think you have a gambling problem. [1:41:01] He goes, no, I I don't dude. You just bet four grand on women's, you know, Utah State College, Baskin' just because it's on. And he's like, yeah, I think I got a point. Maybe I do have a problem. It's like that's like, if you're betting on this, you don't even know if these girls are good. But that makes watching a game so much better. Yeah, yeah, for sure. If you could just be reasonable about it it you know if you bet on a game and just bet you know whatever you can afford if it's a hundred bucks bet a hundred bucks if it's gonna make it more exciting sure yeah come on you fuckers come on you fuckers I'll pay a little to care yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah care so much more if you have a stake in it you've done with me I suck I'm not the one yeah I'm not I'm not the one I her. That's a little too down the line. Too close to my nose. Thanks, brother. The trimmer's on the back of that sucker. You ever, I tried to buy a Terry Bradshaw. You know, it's a guy like you. I brought you cigars because I don't know. I figure, you know, just a man to man, what is the, you know, just bring you something, you know, it's nice. What gentlemen do? Yes, thank you. [1:42:06] So for, I go to Terry Bradshaw's house, one of these things, and I was like, I wanted to give him some for Father's Day, so I got him like these nice cutters, you know. A few hundred bucks for these cutters, you know, it's like, what's, he reads the card, thanks, Bob, love you. And then like I go to, you know, later on I'm at the ranch, he's got this huge humidor, 40 of those cutters. He's like playing around. He's got the nicest of like everything. I've never seen nothing like this. This is wild. Yeah, that's a Calibri. It has a little cutter on the back, it's nice. Multi No, you can't, right? They probably wouldn't let you. Lost a lot of torches at airports. Oh, you can't fly with a regular torch? Yeah. Or I'm hilarious. Yeah, just that. You can't. That's what the difference is. That a regular lighter. No idea. Maybe. Can you fly with it? No, I got it. Oh, you were about to light lighter and you can't fly with a torch can you fly with a regular lighter? Can you? [1:43:07] Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Jamie says yes. I don't know. I don't know. Jamie knows I don't work at the TSA But I know I've never heard of anything good stuff. You know you should drive me crazy Your information guy, you know you're the you know you should drive me crazy Well, you can't bring a pool queue as it out here? It might be out of gas. Thanks. You can't bring a pool queue on a fly, but you can bring a skateboard. I didn't know you couldn't bring a pool queue. No, no, it's a weapon. Did not know? I was like, did you know how easy you could kill someone with a skateboard? Skateboard's heavier. You could fuck somebody up with a skateboard. You can bring two lighters. Uh-huh. Zippo Liders without fuel. Don't check them. Disposable and Zippo Liders without fuel are allowed in check bags. Oh, check bags. Yeah. Liders with fuel are prohibited in check bags unless they adhere to the Department of Transportation's exemption which allows up to two fueled lighters if properly enclosed in a DOT approved case. You have to put your fucking lighters in a bomb case. How often are the lighters throwing out? [1:44:07] Just throw them out randomly. They're a dollar. What was less how a big lighter just randomly lit on fire? Fucking never. More Tesla's blow up on fire than lighters. How does single instance? Well, but I think you can carry it on. Maybe that's all I know. I don't check bags. I think I remember you used to be the case I just thought they'd relax that the fucking shoe thing is so stupid. I can't believe they're still doing that one dickhead tries to blow his shoes up one guy I was I was laughing about this is an old current event But when it was a new thing that we had to take our shoes off for TSA, like after 9-11, George Bush is like, even I will be going through TSA checkpoints. For Air Force One, I was like, no, not you. Fucking liar. We're just being able to trust you. That's a lie. Yeah, he was going even me. No, you won't. That's so crazy. If President imagine imagine that you have to have the president checked because he might be a terrorist secretly [1:45:08] That's just the visual of it ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, do you see the ones that they they scan your whole body whether you see your hog and everything? I know there's some that the TSA people can literally see the size of your dick I don't think they use them how do I get the job of just being there? You don't want to see the beauty of the... You go to see if you can find that because they show the images of what it looks like for a human. So you don't see their face but you see their dick. Oh, wow. How crazy is that? I got to see a Bill Burbit in real life. Look at that. Oh, yeah, that's weird. Crazy. So I was at LAX. This is years ago and it's when the big scant The whoop thing went around your body and I see Bill and he's he's at CSA and I've known him for I've known of him And he's known of me since like 2008 because he played giggles comic club in Seattle when I was like a young comic [1:46:00] I go hey Bill. He's like hey Jeff and he's aable. And he's like, he's just waiting at the side and I'm going to a thing and a guy comes over to him and he goes, hey, if I could just get you to stand over here, next to the machine, because he's refusing the big scan around thing. And he's like, yeah, I know you don't wanna do be and now you want me to stand by it, but I got to watch the whole thing happen. I'm kind of like, this is like a billbird bit in real life. Getting to watch it happen. I'm sure he's going to talk about this like on stage. It was kind of fun to like just kind of see a bit formulate. Yeah, Ari used to do that too. He made them all check him down. He refused it. Yeah, he would not go through the machine. I mean, I don't think it's great for you. It's not. You can't be. And we fly all the time. It can't be good for you, right? If you're doing it three or four times a week. I think the radio one is different. The one they do now is not an X-ray. I don't know what it used to be. [1:47:00] What did it used to be? Like, what was the original ones? Metal. The thing about those kind of things is they really don't know how bad they are for you until it's too late. Sure. Yeah, we want to know. Until 10 years down the line, you realize, oh, that stuff kills you. Well, cigarettes was like, you know, doctors would be like, oh, it comes in a millimeter wave. I've never really. Millimeter wave unit. meter wave body scanner was developed, the Pacific Northwest National Laboratory. So what's the dangers? Privacy concerns. That's because you can see your pain or possible health effects. Here we go. Millimeter wavelength radiation is subject to subset of the microwave radio frequency spectrum, even at its high energy end. It is still more than three orders of magnitude lower in energy than its nearest radio toxic neighbor ultraviolet in the electromagnetic spectrum. As such, millimeter wave radiation is non-ionizing and incapable of causing cancers by radio-lictic DNA DNA bound cleavage, [1:48:05] due to the shallow penetration depth of millimeter waves into tissue, typically less than one millimeter, acute biological effects of irradiation are localized in the epidermal and dermal layers, and manifest primarily as thermal effects. There's no clear evidence to date of harmful effects of the vaccine, I'm sorry, I mean, other than those caused by localized heating and ensuing chemical changes. Yeah. Mm. And the funny one. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Hopefully, hopefully it doesn't hurt you. It sounds like they think it doesn't. But what did they use to use? A lot of words. What was the original one? What were the original TSA radiation machines? I mean, I think it was just a metal detector, right? I mean, they were just like... I got our X-ray. Bro, have you ever seen the hands of the X-ray technicians from back in the day? Oh. Yeah. Just from Yeah, the women used to run it. So back then, when you were an x-ray technician, you'd have to test the x-ray to make sure [1:49:09] it's calibrated, make sure it's working right. So the way they would do it, they would x-ray their own hand. Oh my gosh. Yeah, with no... And then time... Over time? Did it a lot. Yeah. They did it a lot. They got little... They got little fingernails are falling off. Like look at that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Hand of an X-ray technician at the Royal London Hospital, showing damage of radiation exposure. So this is from 1900. Why does it say, oh I see. Bro, they didn't know any better. Right. That'll be a someday with something cell phones or. Have you ever seen those, something, those ladies that used to put loom on watches No, you know when you you know, it is used for that right no no no no. It's it's radio active. Oh, I think it's Radio right now they call the radio girls. Yeah, so they sound hot. They use it in tubes [1:50:01] So what happened was these women they would lick their paintbrush, because you lick your paintbrush sometimes, and they would lick their paintbrush to try to form a better tip so they could do it better. And every time they did it, they got radium in their mouth. Oh my God. And they would get horrible cancers, and they're fucking, a lot of them died. See that image of that lady where her jaw was rotting off? Oh yeah. Yeah, and a lot of them died. See that image of that lady where her jaw was rotting off? Oh yeah. Yeah, that's from radium. This from girls who licked radioactive paint. You just remind me of the funniest thing I've ever seen on morning television. What? So when you have to play a common club, sometimes they, this from mine really. OK. You know, in the mornings they make you do these morning television sometimes to go promote and No, it never brings anyone to the club right and morning TV is so corny everything they say is like You know, you'll be they're like we got funny guy Jeff die here, and then you say something really vanilla And they're like whoa like they're always so so easy to offend the morning. Oh, you show people [1:51:05] So you're it sucks. It's a terrible thing we have to do and so they I'm waiting I'm a hungover I've got like sunglass. I'm just like a can't believe I have to do this stupid show You know and they cut to a thanks bomb watch on the TV what the morning things in San Francisco And they cut to like these art vendors that are out on the side of the thing and she's like I'm here with a local San Francisco Artists probably he's glass blower and he's got all of his like glass blowing things behind him. It's a funny thing I've ever seen on Morning Television. Lady goes, she goes, isn't it true that glass blowing is like really hard on your lungs and it's hard on your vision and it's very dangerous. It takes years off of your life and this guy without missing a beat he goes, yeah, but to die a little sooner to put my ardent to the world is worth it. It's like, wow, that's beautiful, right? That's like really beautiful. And then she goes, what do you make? He's like mostly Bongs and Dildos. And she's like, back to you in the studio, it was the funniest. Like he went from being profound to just drop in. He's hard for his Bongs and Dildos. That's just the idea of saying that, [1:52:02] to die sooner, that's hilarious. Yeah, it was a beautiful one-two punch if I had just have my art in the world. Pongs and dildos. That's like a dude from a movie. Like, he probably heard something like that in a movie. It's like super profound. I was thinking these poor girls, they're going, yeah, but you know, I painted a lot of clocks. Yeah, no one told them either. I think that radium that loom on clocks and watches, it was like nobody had ever done that before. Was it like glow in the dark or something? Yeah, it goes in the dark. They do it now in glass tubes. So like if you get a tactical watch, that's like, it could examples marathon. Marathon makes these like military grade tactical watches that are like super durable. And they have radium tubes in it. No matter what time of night in it is pitch blackness. You look down at that watch and it doesn't have to be glowing in the dark. It just glows. It's lit up. So like like loom on a regular watch like when it has loom painted into it. What happens is when you're in the sunlight and in the [1:53:04] you know flashlights and you're in the sunlight and in the flashlights and studio lighting and whatever, fluorescent lighting, it charges that paint. And so then when you go in the dark, then it glows and it glows for like a little while. Like a few hours maybe. This shit never goes out. But it's these little glass tubes. See if you can find like what's there. What's there? What's there with called marathon watch? I think it's radium. I think it's that same radioactive shit It's just in a gas form that's encased in a tube and I think it has a half life of 20 years So I think it glows for 20 years on your wrist. It's pretty sweet. No wonder it's a Jacking up their chins and noses. Oh, dude It has to be it has to wreck havoc if you're licking that thing every day Like that is just some fucking nuclear space dust one of the articles I was just reading about it said that they liked it so much they would are also painting it on their face fingernails Oh gosh Damn it. Yeah, they're like I get free radium at work. Oh, I don't I make up anymore in their fucking eyes [1:54:07] Isn't it funny? I have so much radium. I made it eyeliner. Show me a marathon watch. That's just trying to find I couldn't find the marathon divers watch loom Just write divers watch you have a big watch. I noticed last night this this is just this is a Digital watch so that's what it looks like and then we see it at nighttime. That's what it looks like So it's always lit. It's pretty fucking dope. I think I actually I don't think I've owned one but I've seen that for sure it's just I love those things I love watch and there's another company called ball B.A.L.L.L and all they make way cooler looking watches like that this like the marathon watches like tactical military style watch, but ball watches, they make these killer dress watches. But that's all got the loom too. So that looks like that. And it's great. Oh yeah, and it's a dope watch. Like, look how cool that looks. Ooh, it's, and it's also radioactive. Do do do do do. But apparently it's completely, [1:55:01] it's encased, you have no fear of it hurting you. And if it breaks, it just dissipates in the atmosphere. It breaks, you lick it a bunch of it. Just sniff it. Just sniff it and get superpowers. Hey, my tongue's glowing. Yeah, I could see through walls. I know things now. Free radio. You were telling me you were a big foot guy. Big, big foot guy. Tell me about this think that's the only reason I'm so into it Yeah, also here's the thing you gotta know about talking about me It's not ever funny and it's not it's just it's something I like so much that it ends up me giving you the same arguments You've heard a billion times. Yes. Oh, it's gigantic. It's came over the engine plane. It's a bipedal prominent. It's just you know and to buy people commented. It's just, you know. And then at the end, and everyone, my friends have experienced it. Harlan Williams just experienced it when I was on his podcast. Anytime I talk about Bigfoot, it ends up with me just going, please, Joe, can you just say it's maybe a possibility? Like that's always ends up being. Yeah. You said it's, I remember you one time going, [1:56:02] there's nothing out there. Yeah, didn't you say that about that first? Don't see it. That's why I don't believe in it. Some hunters do? No, not many. People that see it are usually loggers, hunters, natives, people that are out of the woods. There's another problem. Another problem is dusk. You see things at dusk or at dawn. It's very confusing. Bears walk on two legs all the time. I have personally watched bears walk on two legs, and if I didn't know any better, and if it was a dark environment like it was dusk, you know, you barely can see, I would think it's Bigfoot. Right, yeah. But I do think Bigfoot existed. Yeah. There's the some insane number of Native American words for Bigfoot. Sasquatch is just one of them. There's the some insane number of Native American words for big footage. Sasquatch is just one of them. There's a bunch of them. There's a bunch of Native American words for this one animal that's fake, but all the other words they have are for real animals. They don't have a bunch of dragons. They don't have like mythical creatures in Native American mythology, but they do have [1:57:04] this one giant man thing that definitely existed. At some point, 100% gigantic epithicus was a real animal. It was 8 to 10 feet tall, bipedal hominid. It was a huge gorilla looking primate that died off somewhere around 100,000 years ago, but they don't know really. 100,000. Yeah, but they don't know really. 100,000. Yeah, but they don't know for sure. The thing about it is it's like, if you only find fossils from 100,000 years ago, you could assume that this animal at least lived then. But you don't know when it went extinct. You might find some new fossil like 10 years from now, they might find some new site, and wait a minute these these are 20,000 years old or these are 30,000 years old or these are 50,000 years old but we either way anatomically identical human beings have been around for 500,000 plus years maybe even more so or similar human beings so then we definitely interact with them yeah or they were around we are around I [1:58:03] think they're still around I think there's hundreds maybe thousands of them. That's what I believe. I think they're in caves or something. Or maybe it's... You know what the problem with that is? What? They're too big. The amount of food that they would need to eat. Yeah. You'd have to be grazing all day long. See if you're bigfoot posted in the journal of zoology this month, if it's there, could it be a bear? They're saying it's black bear, American black bear. Yeah, American black bear that stands up. But he's even a little kid. No, the difference between a monkey and a bear. No, no, no, no, no, no. First of all, let me tell you something. If you're in the woods and you're in heightened stakes, you're looking around, you don't know what's out there, it's a thick wood. Weeds are weird, and you see something, you could trick your brain. I saw Squirrel and for like two or three seconds, I thought it was a wolf. Really? Yeah. Yeah. That's real? That's real between here. I'm seeing something moving in between thick trees and I see gray fur. I'm like, oh my god, I don't know wolf. Because there's wolves out there. Right. I'm in Canada. [1:59:05] I'm like, oh, it's a fucking squirrel. What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with me? Shoot it. Yeah. People see what they want to see. And the problem is you get something into someone's head, a mythological thing, whether it's a UFO or whether it's Bigfoot. I think the world is way more slippery than we like to think. I think there's states of consciousness that people can achieve during high anxiety levels, definitely during the use of psychedelic drugs. Sometimes during weird states in their lives, like near-death experiences, loss of a loved one, extreme emotion, a lot going on, a lot of anxiety and fear. Like you would have if you were in the woods. Sure. And then you see a light across the sky. And light of it, just a meteorite. Right. But you're in the wrong's headspace. Yeah. To see that meteorite. And you just fucking, you just freak. You just freak. And maybe for a brief moment, you can see something that's been there all along. You know what, defeat it I am right now. I just want you to tell me, [2:00:06] like, dude, there's some crazy stuff out there. I've interviewed a lot of big-foot people. I had one bit joke I stood about big-foot. Here's what you don't find when you go looking for big-foot. Black people. You're more likely to find big-foot than you are black people looking for big food. It's a bunch of unfuckable white guys out camping. That's like, that is a thing. It's a community of people that want to believe something that there's zero evidence for, and they're fucking locked in. Yeah, they're hitting a tree with a stick, going like, we're gonna wait for a knockback, and it's different big-foot researchers hitting a different tree talking back to them. Yeah, it's like if you go to public land elk hunting. There's a bunch of people elk calling you think, all right, elk. It's a dude with a two other guy. Two men doing elk calls. Exactly. To each other. Cross the ridge. It literally happens. It does 100%. It's one of those things where I wish it was real. I wish it was Bobcat Goldway believes. Yeah, he loves it. He's all in.'m gonna spoil a Willow Creek. But at the end, it's just a bunch of hillbillies out there, [2:01:07] killing and blaming it on Bigfoot basically. That's like the end is like, which one are you talking about? You don't really, there's no way to move. I think that's what the end is that it's just some crazy people that live in the woods. It's not really a Big of Willow Creek. I don't remember how it ends. Because they kind of have this one kind of like Blair Witch like shot. And it's just a bunch of, you know, mountain people. Which is the scariest thing you'll find in the woods. People. Well that's that. People that wanna be off that grid. People that documentary Sasquatch. Do you ever see that? It's like a documentary series. Yeah, and it turns out car job, but like weed people weed people killing I mean it on a big foot framing it to look like a big foot's out there. Yeah Yeah, they killed somebody and apparently when marijuana was You know when they were growing it up there these hippies started arming themselves Yeah, and then they had rival gang wars with people that would come in and try to steal their crop [2:02:03] Sure, so they're starting shooting at each other and killing each other. That's what that's all about. We're also like, you know, some cute girl that's like, oh, I'm going to clip weed all summer and make five grand and hang out with other potted who like, you don't realize how terrible that job is. Well, you're involved in this illegal business. Yeah. And the cartels in that business like I had a friend who found a cartel grow operation on a ranch Yeah, they were they were he works on a ranch in California and he was doing his thing out in the ranch and he found some water piping and he followed the water piping and you know was pretty considerable distance and They found this grow up so this guy had Cid-o-bull distance and they found this grow-up. So this guy had Diverted water or many guys they didn't see the humans that did it Then they took their shit and then they'd never caught the guys I don't think but they would set up these camps in like they would go to like national forests Apparently, it's big in northern California where they go deep deep deep in the was they backpack in and then they have a massive grow up on public land. [2:03:07] And they just get it till the time it's ready to harvest and then they get out of there. But if someone interrupts that, if they get in the middle of that, they'll kill them. Like these are cartel guys. So my friend John Norris, he's been on the podcast before, he was a game warden. And he found a creek that had been redirected. And he thought maybe a farmer had did this, like what's going on, maybe someone put an illegal dam on this, they follow it, and they find this crazy grow-up with the cartel and guns. So he winds up instead of just being a game warden, now all of a sudden he's got a tactical team with the tacked odds. Crazy. And they're running in fully armed to flack jackets on, having gun fights with the cartel in the woods over weed. Yeah. I will say that that's like the most frustrating part [2:04:00] about the big foot subject is you got guys like, who really like, I think an ape could like a fam, a pot of apes could like live out here and this thing. And so you'll start to guys like me, I'll be like, yeah, this makes good sense. And then they'll get like a native American to talk about it and he'll be like, it's the magic man of the woods. He like, no. And like if he disappears, he flies, he can can stop the rain and you're going to get cash dang it we were making real good ground here making arguments for it to be an ape i think the native americans are right i think that's what it is i think it's a paranormal woods yeah i do i think it's like listen if uf listen let's imagine that states of consciousness can interface with other things that are around us all the time that we don't necessarily see. Now we know that's true if you take psychedelics. And we know that psychedelics are produced in the brain. I can imagine a moment where you are in such a state [2:05:00] that you could see something that you would not be able to see under normal conditions. It's not outside the realm of possibility. I'm not married to it, but it's not outside the realm of possibility. Now, if that is what we're seeing with UFOs, if what we're seeing is our future, if what we're seeing with those beings is the eventual shape that human beings will take as evolution progresses. We become these genderless little spin-leafings, giant heads, yeah, flying spaceships with our minds. That kind of makes sense to me. If that makes sense, why wouldn't I be able to also see what we used to be or what we could have been, or what other things used to live with us? And maybe it's almost like a ghost, almost like a memory that you can access of a different timeline, a different dimension, where this thing does exist. And that's why it's so elusive and it comes and goes, because it's not a real material thing. It's a construct of the human psyche, [2:06:02] but these people that are seeing it, like they might even literally be seeing footprints. It might literally leave footwear. It might exist for brief moments. Makes that passing in and out of this dimension kind of thing. There's so many wacky stories about it. So then you have to apply the wacky stories to human psychology and say, okay, people are in a heightened state. They're in the woods. They're alone. They're nervous. There's cats out there and fucking bears. Ah, so you're kind of freaking out already. So you're in this like weird mind state already where it seems like more things are possible out there because there's no one to help you. There's no city, there's no hospital. Can't call the cops on a big foot. You got no fucking cell phone signal and you're out there alone. There's so many possibilities. It's terrifying. And that, to me, makes sense. Like if there's a mindset that could be achieved, is that a mind state to be achieved, where you interact with things that aren't there all the time, like UFOs. That would be when it would happen. Right. Well, there's tons of interesting stories [2:07:02] that you'll just read about. Like a thing just walking behind the tree and then it's not. But if it was a massive 10 foot thing, you probably be able to see it come out on the other side of that tree. And you see a lot of those kind of, I read a lot of those kind of stories and I'm like, I don't know the heck that. Yeah, it could be that, but it could also be black bears. It could be that you're just seeing things so they're freaking out. Bears freak you out, man. You see a bear in the wild, it freaks you out. And if you see a bear in between trees, you can just convince yourself that something, then your brain plays tricks on you. The memory is a slippery bitch, especially under heightened circumstances like that. Like in the woods, your memory's weird. And it's more exciting to believe that it's real. So that's what you wanna, you know, my biggest, I think what I'm holding on to so much is they're like, I think it's so boring if we just know all the stuff on our planet. I don't think we do. But that's my point. It's way more exciting to think. Yeah, there's big foods. And there's, yeah, teradactyls is one of my Wolfman or dogman or mothman or any of these kind of like exciting things I [2:08:05] Want to believe that you know about that Hobbit man that they found that island of flores. No, no Man, yeah, you this is good one for you This is a thing that absolutely a live lived alongside people and I think they they don't know the the timeline of this fucker Either but they think it might have been as recently as like 50,000, 30,000 years ago. And they were little tiny people, three foot tall, like almost like ape like creatures. That's what they look like. Oh yeah, see? A little baby big foot. Yeah, well like little hobbits man. And they lived on this island. And they were like a different branch of the human chain that lived alongside Homo sapiens. Yeah, see that? You just think you see a juvenile bigfoot or something. Yeah. Well, there's people that have cited these things in other parts of the world still to this day. They still claim that they exist. You see in that video, recently where, it's like these guys, I'm gonna make up a place, [2:09:01] but it's someplace like, but not necessarily Thailand. And they're on these motorcycles, and this little man comes out with like a spear, and then they chase it into the high grass. What runs across the road, right? Doesn't look like run across the road. It has a spear, because it's kind of startled by their motorcycles. And then they're going, wow, wow, they kind of chase it down this little trail, but then this is Yeah, like a tiny person. Yeah. And then it runs into the grass and they lose it. But it's tiny little guy. Yeah. And he's got like some sort of spear. Do you see a spear? You'll see it in the very beginning before because one guy gets off his bike in the very beginning. When it first comes out, it has like a little spear. Maybe even before this. So the ride in the bike, you'll replace itself a lot. Maybe even before this. So they're riding the bike. I think we're gonna put this video and replace itself a lot. Oh sorry. It's like on loop. Oh okay. Yeah sorry. This one they chased him into the grass. This is when they lose him. They pop around looking for it. But it's seen again? No no this is where they, when they first stumble upon him, he has like a sprayer. He's holding something. There was something. I mean, whether I get, if this is a real video, [2:10:06] it definitely looks like there's something in the sand. Right here. Yeah, it's like dragging something. Jamie, does that look real to you? You're good at this. Let me see it. Let it play again. I'd first, first, let it play again. Let it play again. No, that's not real, but. And that guy dumps, cause he's like, what the hell? First instinct says this is someone in that side of the world playing around with computer graphics, and that's just a, they just shrunk a person. Hmm, but that's just being cynical. Right. And that seems the most likely scenario. I would like to hear their voices. Are they speaking in English? This no sound doesn't seem like. Yeah, on this one probably, but I've heard it before, but. It just sounds like a lot of motorcycles. It's like, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, because they're all on motorcycles. It's like a 12 year old GoPro video. So it sounds like a thing. The thing about that is fascinating because you're dealing with insane jungle, like insane [2:11:06] dense terrain. Where the orange pendant is, where do they think that thing exists? It's like Vietnam and some other area. But if the island of Flores had these creatures on them, like the idea that there would be just a small population of them that's still existed, that seems to me to be more likely than bigfoot Yeah, cuz that one gets Seen a lot of it and that looks the lighting on it is so strange to me. Yeah Yeah, looks it looks unnatural it definitely looks weird But also the duck drop of thumbnail sure sure sure sure yeah definitely cuz I watch these a sir's Spoon looks like group like version of groups right but everything looks blurry Blue. It looks like a group. It looks like a version of a group. Right, but everything looks blurry there. The motorcycle looks like shit. Everything is fucked up. And on all these videos like this, when you try to get a shit to click on it, they doctor the thumbnail up so that you'll click on it. Yeah, yeah, that looks jazzed up, right? Right, but that's the, so it was Indonesia. Yeah, so that's that's where they claimed to have cited this thing but most likely it's bullshit [2:12:06] you know so many people have cell phones yeah so many people have cell phones the idea that no one's filmed one yet but for sure we know it did exist and how long ago did the uh... homo florissa and sis how long that that one live they used to think it was like much more recent. I think they were thinking at one point in time it was only 10,000 years ago. But I think they think it's quite a bit older than that now. 50,000. So here it goes. Okay. So initially thought to be only 12,000 years ago. However, more extensive stratigraphic and chronological work has been pushed, pushed dating of the most recent evidence of its existence back to 50,000 years ago. So that's the most recent evidence 50,000 years ago. And Homo, Florianc's skeletal materials now dated from 60,000 to 100,000 years ago, stone tools recovered alongside the skeletal remains [2:13:06] were from archaeological horizons ranging from 50,000 to 190,000 years ago. That's for the stone tools. Got it, this will cave. Yeah. How about this? They found quite a few of them. You're out shooting these elks, right? With your bow and arrow, right? And let's say you see what you see at Bigfoot. Yeah. You go, hey, and this psycho comedian on the podcast. No. Who believes in big foot and you got only a bit, holy crap, there it is. You shooting that thing? No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why would I do that? Because then you proved that it's, because now if you try to tell the story if people He was like, Joe, you saw him there. So what? You're sanity. I'll be fine. You know what you did? No fucking way. No fucking way. Why would you shoot? Yeah, would you kill it? Oh yeah. I'll kill it quick, dude. I would just... What if you only wound it? That's the problem. I think more likely it's gonna go, you piece it, break it off and if it is a... No, it'd have to be a mythical creature [2:14:05] taking a good shot with an arrow. I try to kill it. You eat that sucker with it. And then tell everybody, like you guys all said I was wrong. For cut broad head. Yeah, look at this face. I bring it right here, that's what I do. I text you, I say I got to something I wanna show you on the podcast, put his big stupid head here dude. See that guy who killed his dad And so his dad was a traitor and then like put his dad's head on on the table. No. Oh my god Was this an America? Yeah, you know you're fucking crazy psycho militia type dude this guy and he looks I'll see the video. Yeah, I think they took the video down, but I saved it I'm gonna send it to you Jamie. I'll just send you the clip where the guy cuts or shows the head. Oh my goodness. So, is the video available? I just sent it to you. It's disturbing. Don't show it on camera. But I just want you to see, and give me some volume so you can see how casual this fucking guy is about having this guy's head. [2:15:07] Put it... Oh, my... Look at that. This is the head of Mike Moon. That's not the first one. A federal employee of over 20 years. And my father. Yikes. Returnity as a traitor to his... I don't wanna listen. No, no, no, I wanna listen to that. That's why I wanted to tell you reason and betray others occupy the lowest pits of hell for all time The federal government of America has declared war on America's citizens and the American states This is a guy who just beheaded his dad Woke mobs rampage our ones prosperous cities. Okay kill it I mean that might be like a manchurian candidate thing China might have like Heptitized that dude like that guy looks out of his fucking mind. Yeah, and might be like a manchurian candidate thing. China might have like hypnotized that dude. Like that guy looks out of his fucking mind. Yeah, and he wrote it out a little thing. He might be on like a new trial medication. He tied up his little speech. What he's gonna say, I'll use all these buzzwords and then I'll show the head. Like that's the fourth take or something. [2:16:02] His doctor prescribed a new medication called murderous polisher. Kill this. Like the way you can't, he held it up like I'm holding one of these little fish. Like look at this, this is Gary. It's like this is the brisket we're gonna cook. Here's before I turn it. That's wild. This is Dad's head in a plastic bag. That's so crazy. The thing is how calm he is. When he's reading his manifesto and talking about this, my dad, he was a trader, puts it down, then just goes right back to work. Like what the fuck? Yeah, that is interesting. Because you all read a thing like this soccer player came out and beheaded a referee or something like that. It's always in some sort of place. You don't think that it's in like Ohio. Like, yeah. That was, and it was like a normal bedroom. Like you see people zoom call from. What is that guy's background? They got him, right? He's alive, right? That was a mug shot we were looking at. That was a mug shot. Jesus Christ. He didn't even fight the cops. Try to go down with the ship. What a crazy world. What a war. Just with at least abuse of a corpse amongst other crimes. [2:17:08] At least abuse of a corpse at least. Other crimes. Yeah, I think so. No, my dad was already dead. Just cut his head off. Um, imagine if that turns out to be the case, dad died and said, you know what? I'm gonna get some street cred. I'm gonna hack his head off and say, I killed him and he's a traitor. Like, that's possible. Weirdest stolen valor ever. There's the strangest. One time I saw a fistfight in Seattle, Washington at this bar and this kid just jumped up, got this big guy, suck a punch, you know, but he knocks him out and then fleed because he realized, oh, I'm gonna get in trouble or maybe someone's gonna beat me up and he ran from the cops, but we all saw the fight. So the police were like, would you recognize him if you saw him? I go, yeah, recognize. So they put me in the back of the cop car. They were gonna drive me around to see if I could spot him. But I figured, because I'm in the back of the cop car, you know, I look like I'm a bad ass, you know? So I kept like, oh, that guy's nuts, you know? Hands him outlaw. Stole the valor of the fight kid. [2:18:06] But it's a good move. What a weird, that shook me a little bit. What is that guy's background, Jamie? I'm looking, he also, so they found, the wife called it then, he didn't drove 100 miles and broke into a Fort Indian town gap base and stole it guns. National Pennsylvania National Guard headquarters. She was found with a gun, but he didn't resist the rest. Holy shit. I wonder if this guy, like do you think he, he didn't before that. There was just like, he's just a guy, and then he's like, well, cut the head off now. It's time to, right? Do you think there was things leading up to that? Or is that just, that's the, I Right, 2016 as a college roommate said he thought the government was out to get him. Oh paranoid kids a freni What do you think the rule is on war maybe they were out to get them or maybe they maybe they did mentoring They're looking at him for a while when I heard first heard the story I was looking at him. Yeah, we're looking at him. Yeah, we're just taking a look We're observing him. Maybe it's like some new MK ultra project. I will say the signs thing [2:19:06] So like let's say this kid does this right, and then people go, oh we looked at this, they always do those serial killers. They'll say, look we looked at his Facebook and there were signs and no one did anything about it. It's because people don't want to believe that that's possible. Well also you don't want to look for it everywhere. Maybe the guys just have an a rough week. Right. Maybe he's not gonna find my top of a fucking church tower with a rifle. There's a guy who I got banned from the improv in Hollywood and it's because while he was sitting there he's a lower level comic so he's not like passed. It's not like he would be working at the improv but he goes hangs out at the improv because he wants to be a successful comedian. I don't know we could I could chalk it up to alcohol, I could check it up to like whatever these excuses are. But what he was saying was so problematic. The way he was like, you know what? So that it's coming, the day's coming. Oh boy. And I'll tell you what, I've killed before. And it won't be a military guy. [2:20:01] It used to be a military guy. And and he goes he's like kind of taunt me a little bit because I you know I went and I always just on the lineup, you know So I'm one of the comedians that he thinks whatever and he goes he goes you know and guys like you are worth extra points And I was like what does that mean and I said that my manager was sitting there listening to I go what are you like threatening me? Like like I don't understand what you're doing like cuz I just want to be friends with everyone, you know, just trying to break bread. And he's like, he's like, no, you guys will all see. You guys will all see it, dude, it's all. He's doing this kind of like cryptic. I took it as like, this is a sign. Yeah. So I told the Hollywood, the next day I called, and say, you know, maybe don't have a guy that's bragging about how he's gonna shoot up everybody eventually. Yeah. Because you always hear these signs go, why didn't I do anything? Well, the thing about comedy is mental ill people. Yes. Sign up for open mics. Yep. All the time. So I got him banned. And then the girl bartender who works there, who's a great woman. She's really great. She's like, I can't believe you did that. He would never heard a fly. I know him really well. I say, like, why didn't you say anything? [2:21:06] You know, like, there's signs there. I saw the signs and I told, whereas like, she's, she's to this day, she's like, I just can't believe you got it. Like, he might not have any other place to go and if he comes here. And he comes and ruins this place. Yeah, you don't want him doing, even if you're never gonna do anything. Was it funny? No. Oh, there you go. Done bothering me. Yeah. Yeah, there. Probably wasn't gonna work out anyway. Probably why it was upset with you. That's what he said that to me. He goes, I bet you made everybody laugh. Yeah, that's kind of the idea. Yeah. He goes, I don't even a shit about any of that. And I was like, that's the little point, like he was romanticizing about being the guy who doesn't. Well those are those people who can't do it. Need the crowd to like him. And I was like, well, but that is the job. I want them to laugh. Yeah, it's you're in the entertainment business. It makes no sense. He thinks he's better, like more cerebral because he doesn't get laughs. What people do when they don't have an option. You know, that's the only way they can find, [2:22:06] you know, any kind of status. There's statuses that they don't give a fuck. Yeah, which is so tired. So stupid. Yeah. Of course you give a fuck. Right, also, we don't need people that don't give fucks. We want you to give some fucks. So it's not powerful to not give a fuck it's stupid. It's lazy. Yeah, it's stupid. The image is like what babies do. Yeah, you're trying to do something. You're involved, you're at the place of where it gets performed. You're involved. Yeah. You're involved. You're just suck at it. And so you're trying to find some way to sort of make you the more, you know, whatever. And reachuous. More, someone is like cooler. Yeah, and that's all in a need to be like, we talked about a guy last night that's like, he would treat people terribly. But then when you hear him talk about people that he liked, he would say like, he was a real jerk to me. You're like, yeah, see how that made you feel? [2:23:01] That's what you do to people. Like you think that that, you know, it makes no sense. Well, people are just trapped in their own head. Silly. So many people are not aware of how other people are perceiving them, they're trapped in their own head. And they just know what they want. And they get upset of other people are getting things. That's just so toxic, so bad for you. But I think like you can learn that are pretty low like a pretty young age to go. Do you know how yeah do you know how you feel when people are nice to you that's how they're gonna feel if you're nice it's such a child like kindergarten lesson and these are grown people that we have to go you should treat people good that's kind of the idea. Hey man they're artists. They're artists. They're artists man. That's how you go. You can't be an artist. You're too handsome. Yeah, you should want them at all to not like you. You should be depressed. I mean, not depressed. No way to live. No way to live. It's no way to live. It isn't any way to live. Yeah. That is a powerful statement to just like with people, how how you don't, I'm happy. They go, what? Yeah. What do you mean you're happy? Well, that's the really annoying thing [2:24:06] about this perception of comedians that we're not supposed to be happy. So dumb. Like, says who? Right. We literally make people happy for a living. You shouldn't be enjoying yourself. Like, last night hanging around the green room. That, to me, is like, ultimate playground. and laughing and we're just talking shit and having a good time. And the idea that that wouldn't make you happy, and then you go on stage and then people laugh, that doesn't make you happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's better? Or it's a lot better than pouring concrete for 10 hours. Yeah. Like you're at work. And we're having fun and talking. And like, yeah, I think that's why podcasts are so huge by the way. Sure. Because it's the green room hang. Yes. And people holding court telling stories get it on it. They listen to it. Yeah. And then they get inspired to kind of have those kind of conversations with their friends. Sure. You're not around anybody interesting. It sucks. It sucks. It's like a kind of, it's like a social starvation. [2:25:04] Yeah. Part of you just talking to the withers. Yeah. Part of you that likes to have a good time and have fun with cool people. Yeah, and it's also like, I love the idea that if I say something to my comedy buddies, they know me well enough to go, he's a comedian. He's trying to be funny. Yeah. Dude, I say a lot of stinkers. There's gonna be in the comments. You see Jeff try to make Joe laugh right there? Yeah, but Joe knows I'm just trying to make you laugh. Listen, we had no conversation at all about what we were gonna talk about. Every podcast is like this. We just sit down and have a good time. Yeah, some of them are gonna, you take some go. Yeah, that's what Jeff was just talking. That's what talking is. Yeah, especially talking and thinking in public out loud. Yeah, yeah. You bounce it off each other. Right, I remember one time I said something terrible at a woman that was just walking by the car you know, to my guy, friends who aren't comics, we were pretty like junior college at age [2:26:01] and my friends were like, what the fuck dude? And I was like, I don't know, I thought it'd be funny. And they just totally didn't get it. And it was really horrific. You tried. Yeah, I tried. And but that's, I think about that moment a lot. Now that I'm with comics and I'm in these circles because they would just go, yeah, I know exactly what he's trying to do. I did one of those Five minutes ago, and I just opened Mike or trying the abortion joke. Yep. Hey. Yeah. You know, get it up for this. Yeah. Swing, yeah. You got to learn. And one of the ways you learn is by swinging a message. That's why a lot of comics will say, um, and I don't, again, what name names, but they'll be like, I just went in there. I did my set to be in these circles, you know. And it's like, well, one, that's how you make friends. Yeah. When I love friends. And they're the friends that are going to most relate to your life. You were doing the same stuff. Yeah. Exactly. And we're the same. We're cut from the same cloth. It's our only group. Yeah. Right. And that's why those jokes and the Judy Carter comedy Bible of like you [2:27:10] write this thing and the so it's like this job isn't about going up there and then leave. It's about the community of stand-up comedy. It's about both. Yeah. And part of the enjoyment is the camaraderie. It's part of the enjoyment. Why would you want less enjoyment? Yeah, it mean, no sense. Also, like that socially, they're the most fun people to hang out with for me. Yeah. So why would you want to deny yourself of the most fun people to hang out with socially? That's why it's like, I have to keep going to these meetings and stuff for like... Boos for booze. Yeah, for the drinking. And I just sit in that on and listen to these hacks. I know some of the funniest people in the world. These guys tell me some stupid stories. Like I'm just listening to the stories. I'm so judgmental of people's stories because I'm going to use a full answer. Get out, there's no punch line here. What's the point of this story? And he's like, the guy's just got a disease. He's just trying to, he has to share or whatever. But then a lot of people go up in front of those things and they learn how to do stand up [2:28:07] because they tell funny stories. Yeah. You know, it doesn't tell funny stories, Joe? Who? The mothers against drunk driving. Who? Taco and a buzzkill, you know? These gals, I'm just watching them going on. Yeah, you don't want to be on those conversations. Bad storytelling. Those are bad stories. Those are bad stories. Those are bad stories. Yeah. But it is, it's just like, I've become such a snob about the company because I get to be around such funny people. Yeah. You know, that it's like now I'm having to listen to, you know, a girl I like's friend talk about, you know, shopping that day or so. I mean, I'm being irritable about it like a book. it's brutal assault on your attention span. Yeah, I'm just gonna can't hear this We just got to filter those people out of your life. Yeah, I try. Yeah as much as you can yeah, yeah Yeah, keep your circle tight sometimes you have to be around them Yeah, well, this a man's been very fun getting to know you hanging out with you last night was really fun You were very funny on stage. It was a cool hang in the green room. Yeah, it was great. I enjoyed [2:29:07] Talking to you man. So tell everybody social media where they could find you website. Yeah, the um so all my dates will be on Jeff. Dot com. I literally work every week and all of us. So I'm coming to Charlotte North folks. Hannah and Tony O'Dallis Jacksonville Orlando. Rally. Every weekend. I love it. I love it. I can just stand up every night five times a night. Beautiful. So that's all it's all it Jeff died out I love it and then I have a few podcasts once called wrestling with Freddie or me and Freddie Prince Jr Talk about wrestling once a week and It's like you have see but choreographed, you know pro wrestling Yeah, and then I've one called everybody's got a price me and Josh Nelson We just play a simple game with our guest like how much to eat the hottest pepper in the world. And then the people that listen can say, I'd pay Joe Rogan whatever they make a pot of money and then we film you doing whatever the thing is. Oh wow. So and I guess like you who would be like, I would never do that. I have money. You can then say, I'll put this much in to watch someone do it. But [2:30:01] anyways. So that's called everybody's got to prize me in Josh Nelson and then I have a podcast called Jeff Dice Friendship. All right. Oh dude. You're my friend. Three podcasts simultaneously. Wow. I like it. It's fun. Go for it. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah. Right. I like it. Beautiful. All right.