Maybe a timeline for video episodes? Minute 42ish had me falling on the floor.
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28 days ago
Luis J. Gomez is a stand-up comic, writer, and producer. He's a host of multiple podcasts, including "Legion of Skanks" with Big Jay Oakerson and Dave Smith, and "Real Ass Podcast" with Zac Amico. Watch his new stand-up special September 5 on YouTube. www.luisofskanks.com
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All my friends, they'd be like, you know what, you gotta take one of you. And I'm the only brown kid in the group. So every single time they were like, we're gonna take you. And then they take you to Central Bookings for a day. And- They would literally say I have to take one of you? Yeah. Oh my God. And none of your friends said, hey, you got Lewis the last three times. I'm gonna get in it. Not once. Dave Smith, I was arrested three separate times, and Dave Smith watched me get put into the back of a car and he was like, bye. Oh God. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, and then I remember I went to Amsterdam when I was 22, and it was the first time I ever smoked legal weed. And I just, I was like, this is, this is great. This is the way it should be. It was nuts. I was just like smoking in the street. I was talking to a cop. I was on mushrooms. I was like, this is so peaceful and nice. And then I came back and I remember I was in a stairwell smoking a blunt, like the day I got back and I was like, this is fucking a wild thing. And then here we are years later in New York City, it's legal. There's literally, you could buy weed in just delis on every corner in New York City now. It's crazy. Yeah, I remember the switch in California because for a while I was medical. So I used to have to go to a doctor and the doctor would go, oh, you need weed. And then he writes some shit down in a piece of paper. Then you could buy weed. And I used to go to this place called the Englewood Wellness Center, which was in Englewood and it's shady area. And back then, I don't know if it was credit cards yet. I don't, I think they might've been able to use credit cards, but I know they also had a lot of cash on them and they got robbed and the guy that I used to buy weed from got shot. Oh shit. And I was like, all right, done with that spot. Gonna have to find a new spot. But there wasn't that many spots. You'd have to find these places and they looked like shut down stores. Most of the places that were dispensaries, they were super low key. You had to know people. And you would go in there and there'd be some fucking doctor. One time we went to this doctor and he had dreadlocks. And this dude's had long dreads and he had a volcano bag on the volcano vaporizer bags, but it was like an extra long bag. And we walk into the dispensary and he's like, man, you need medicine. He just immediately goes, you need some medicine. I go, yes sir, I do, thank you. I'm very sick. Yeah, I'm very sick. He took us to the grow room. I don't know if you've ever been in a grow room when you're high. No. But they seem to be intelligent. There's an odd feeling that you get when you're high on marijuana and you walk into a grow room filled with hundreds of plants. It was a big ass room with lights, hydroponic lights, whatever, hanging from the sky. And it just has a weird feel to it. It has a weird feel, not a regular room. It doesn't feel like you're walking into a room. It feels like you're walking into a room with beings. Oh really? Yeah, they feel alive in a weird way. I know I was super high. That's good weed that you have. But it felt real. Because it didn't feel like that when I was in the other room. When I was in the other room where they had just couches and shit, seemed normal. And then he takes us back and we go into this back room and I'm like, whoa, these things are conscious. Well, don't they say plants are conscious to a certain degree? If you sing to them and talk to them or if you yell at them, they don't grow. I don't know, they do experiments with shit where people are nice to plants. I've seen it on TikTok and Reels. I've never looked into that. Yeah, it has to be bullshit. There's no way if you're just nice to a plant, it grows better. What an unethical experiment because then you'd have to be really mean to another plant. It's really racist to the plant. Fucking ficus, piece of shit. I fucking hate ficuses. I kill them every time I find them. Not in my yard. And he's just stuck in the dirt in your house. If plants really are conscious and they're stuck in the dirt in people's houses and the people are doing math and shooting each other, these plants have been like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. How am I stuck in this house? It's like that Metallica video one where the guy's just stuck in the bed and he could hear everything. It's from a famous movie, I think. I don't remember that. He's like, dude, you definitely remember this. It's such a famous video. It's a Metallica one video. It was Johnny Get Your Gun or something is the movie. It was a guy, I guess he was hurt in war, yeah. And he was conscious and he could hear everything, but he couldn't communicate. Oh, wow. This is the life of a house plant right here. Dude, Metallica had some bangers. But the thing is, it's like, they know that they communicate with each other. That's what's really fascinating. They communicate with each other through the mycelium and the ground. So it does say they grow better. Look, it says for most plants, playing classical or jazz music caused growth to increase while harsher metal music can do stress. Wow. This is because the vibrations of metal music are too intense for plants and stimulate cells a little too much. We think of this as massaging your plant with a song. They prefer a gentler touch. But how do we know? I wanna know the boring bitch who wrote this article. A gentler touch. How do we not know that it's not that at all? How do we not? I mean, that's an assumption that's like minimalizing their ability to recognize what's going on. Cause right, like put that up again, like how it's explained. Because the way it's explained, it's like, it's here, it says, this may because the vibrations of metal music are too intense for plants and stimulate cells a little too much. Like, how do you know? How do you know the plant just doesn't think that music sucks? Could you imagine? It's like, you know, when they were torturing Noriega, they would fucking just blare horrible music at him forever. Remember that? Yeah, they did that with, it was the big group that was like, there was like a standoff. And then they did it with Billy Ray Cyrus' song, Achy Breaky Heart. There was some, yeah, it was some like, some dude who had like a bunch of people captive and they played Achy Breaky Heart to fuck with him. I do have to say though, at least shows a sense of humor by the police. I think that's pretty funny. That's fucking hilarious. That's funny. You fucking can't play bad music until this dude fucking moves out of the house with the hostages. But I know they did it with, 99% sure they did it with Noriega. I forget what the songs were though. See what they did with Manuel Noriega. Because I'm pretty sure they surrounded his house in Panama and just played horrible music. Yeah, let's see, I fought the law. That's pretty good. The Clash, shit, Panama by the stadium. I guess any song over and over and over again would drive you out of your mind. They played Panama by Van Halen. You two's All I Want Is You, Bruce Cockburn, If I Had a Rocket Launcher, and they just kept playing it over and over again. Yeah, The Howard Stern Show. Oh, and The Howard Stern Show. So at least they gave him some entertainment while he's contemplating death. Is he dead? Yeah, did they kill him or did he go to jail? That might be even more wild than when they killed him. They take these dictators and they just stick them in a cell. Bye-bye. Never hear of him again. Bye-bye. And then it stops being a news story and nobody cares. Yeah, bye-bye. Bye-bye, Mr. Person who ran country. Have you ever been in a jail cell, Joe? No. You've never been arrested for anything ever? Nope, never. Damn. Noriega's mugshot after a surrender to US forces in 1990, age 56. How many people had that guy killed? You never even been in cuffs? No. Damn. I'm a good boy. You are a good boy. It's the worst. I could only imagine. I'm always very respectful to cops. I'm super respectful to cops too because at that point they're arresting me and I want to get out of it. Yay! I want to get off of the warning. I've never done anything real. Like I've never done a real crime. It's always for smoking weed or. They said, expunge all those. They did. They did. We should fool with everybody with that. We should wake up as a country and realize those laws are immoral. They don't make any sense. I couldn't go to Canada for years. I couldn't go to Canada. If we can drink, why can't we smoke? It makes zero sense. You guys are out of your minds. You don't smoke weed. You don't know what you're talking about. It's like that's part of the problem is that the people that are making these laws, they don't have any experience with these drugs. Yeah. You know, I'm good. You're good. There's like a certain. I think you should know what you're talking about. And if we lie about it, then people are gonna be more likely to abuse it. Cause they're not gonna think there's any problems. Yeah. You gotta be like fully straightforward with it. It's probably one of the safest drugs you could use. If you're not a schizophrenic. Are they? If you're not a person who has like that fucking missing screw and then the weed takes you over the top. Cause there's a few of those guys. Yeah. I mean, I know some people that they're not good on it. I know I'm probably better as a human when I'm not smoking weed. Just in terms of productivity. Just in terms of like, just being a little bit sharper. But I'm also miserable and depressed and fucking anxious. So it's like, it's a trade off, you know? I like to walk the dance. I like to walk the dance between high and sobriety. I like it. I like both of them. I think this idea, I mean, look, if you're a person who's an alcoholic, sobriety is your choice. That's the way to go. For sure. And you don't need it. And look, you can get high doing yoga. You could feel pretty good when you run. But if you can handle it, and if it's for you, it provides you like a different window to the world. And I think it changes and shapes the way you think about things. I agree with that. But I think that just the difference in thinking does that as well. So if I, I smoke all day every day, right? So if I stop smoking for like a week, it's like I'm seeing the world differently. Your brain gets to clear out a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And it's just a different perspective. It's kind of good to do that. Yeah, I just, and then the other thing, now that I'm getting older, I'm 41 now, I still don't, I mean, I can probably research this. Does weed just not cause cancer? Does it not, like, nobody's talking about weed giving them fucking cancer. I smoke a lot of fucking weed. And I'm just in my head about it. I'm like, dude, I'm gonna get lung cancer. Cause I've been smoking blunts and weed for so long. It doesn't seem to. And I don't know why it wouldn't if cigarettes do. Now, here's the question. Is there a difference between those natural cigarettes that people enjoy, like those American spirits and like Marlboro's? Dude, I don't think they're natural. America, that's just, that's good branding. Cause they even have Joe Rogan going, dude, those natural, they're not, it's the same shit. Yeah, but that's the name of them, isn't it? It's the American spirit, dude. I think it's just some, we assume they're natural cause American Indians make them, I think. Is there a bunch of shit in there? Our research shows the majority of natural American spirit smokers incorrectly believe their cigarettes are safer than other cigarettes. Truth out there, they're just as dangerous as any other cigarette. Yeah, dude, that's, I always thought, like light cigarettes were safer and they're not at all. No, that's probably even worse. Like what is in those, okay, what are menthols? What's going on there? I don't even know. What is going on? They're trying to outlaw that in California. Yeah, well, because- Did they outlaw it? I think they did a lot because they say it's, they're going after, like any of the flavored tobacco shit. Like you can't get flavored blunt wraps in New York City anymore because the, I guess the angle is they're saying that kids are more likely to buy flavored stuff, which is just, I think that's kind of stupid as well. What about flavored liquor? Yeah, yeah. Well, you're not taking away anyone's liquor anymore. How come you can still have flavored liquor? Yeah. What are you talking about? Like there's syrupy liquor. Yeah. Yeah, all the smoking laws are kind of good too in a weird way though. Or they do, because I smoke cigarettes in New York when they started, they were just like, we're going to just charge you a fucking crazy amount for cigarettes. It went up, it went from like $3 a pack of cigarettes to like $15 a pack in like a year. And they just priced a lot of people out. I was just too broke to fucking spend $15 per pack of cigarettes. It was crazy. Wow. It was like 75 cents per cigarette as like a broke young kid in New York City. It's just what's going to happen. So they made it the age 21, and then they started charging a fucking arm and a leg for it, and just kids just couldn't afford them anymore. So I think a lot less kids are smoking today because of all that shit. But yeah, I mean, when I moved to New York City, you could still smoke inside of bars. And then they changed that like a year later. And I remember being like, no, this is crazy. Who cares about the employee's health? I give a fuck dude. People did get upset that they couldn't smoke indoors. I remember when you'd go to comedy clubs, they were filled with smoke. Every table had an ashtray. They were filled with smoke. But you would hear stories about like waitresses that didn't even smoke, and they would get cancer. That's when it's the kid's scary. It was like people that are forced to breed that smoke all day and they don't even smoke. That's fucked. That's an office hazard or a job hazard. You can't force somebody to work in those kids. Yeah, now as an adult, but when I'm a kid where I just want to smoke a cigarette at the back of a bar, it's like you're not, but now we all smoke weed in comedy clubs. That's a weird thing. We just started smoking weed like, I don't know, like eight years ago in comedy clubs and nobody said anything. It was never legal. We just decided we were gonna do it. It was because Chappelle was smoking cigarettes and then somebody was like, no dude, we can smoke. It's part of the act, right? And nobody said anything, but nobody's been busted. There's definitely way more acceptance of weed. People understand what it is now. And there's so many people that are like right wing people use weed. That's the big shift, because it used to be that weed is just like for hippies and losers. But a lot of people that are in pain use it. A lot of people that get headaches use it. A lot of people that it helps them sleep. They like edibles, it helps them sleep. They like it. Yeah, that's the way to go. All kinds of people. I gotta switch to edibles. I gotta switch to edibles, because I think putting anything in your lungs over an extended amount of time, there's no fucking way it's good for you. Edibles are totally different though, you know. It's totally different drug. What do you mean? It's a totally different drug. Like your body metabolizes it differently? Yeah, it becomes five hydroxi, 11 hydroxymatabolite, right, that's what it is. It's processed by your liver, and it's just a way more potent psychoactive. Oh, and that's probably not good for your liver. I don't know, I don't think it's bad for your liver. I think, especially if you're not fucking blasting it every day, I've never heard that it's toxic. It can't all be good. Weed can't just be the perfect drug. There's gotta be something negative, right? I think it's negative for some people. Anything in life that's good, you almost have to pay for it in a way, right? I'm just trying to find the angle on why I should stop smoking weed because I still haven't heard of anybody getting lung cancer. I'm not hearing about any negative effects. Everyone's just cool and high, and it's cheap now. Yeah, I haven't heard any good arguments. But for some people, they're not productive when they're on it. They can't get anything done. They just wanna veg out all day. But I think it hips everybody. CBD may be harmful to your liver. But probably won't affect your kidneys or your heart. CBD may raise levels of liver enzymes. This could indicate liver damage. In most cases, this happens with very high doses of CBD when it's taken with certain medications, or when it's taken with certain medications. This is all like this shit. That's crazy. I wonder how much CBD fucks you up. The problem with medical shit like this is you never really know. They have to give you the whole spectrum, and they're like, oh no, this could happen just so you know. But I feel like- And it could be the anti-CBD lobbies. Who knows? People with propaganda. Who knows? Who fucking knows anymore with these people? But yeah, CBD has always been, I've always used it. I've always used it on like, I have a knee injury right now. I use it on my knee. It's fucking great. Yeah, it's really good. It's great when you got like aches and pains. How much CBD do you get from just smoking weed though? You probably get some, right? You probably get a decent amount. Or I think they make strains that are like higher with CBD or have more CBD than THC. Yeah, I know a lot of people who just smoke CBD joints. Yeah. Where it doesn't have any THC at all. Which is like, what kind of franken medicine are you doing over there, man? Those people. I would love to meet that person and try to sell them anything. Bro, they're making new life. If plants really are intelligent when we're making, like splicing them together and giving them superpowers, it's fucking, it's weird what botanists can do. I was in Costa Rica a few weeks ago, and I'm never in nature like that. And it's a really, dude, it's a really cool. We were at a place called Manual Antonio Park. I don't know if you've been there before. And it's just like a huge nature reserve, massive, massive park. And one of the more interesting things were the trees, right? And we had a tour guide, and I don't know shit about this, but there are certain trees that start attacking each other. And one tree would wrap around the other tree and kill that tree. And then the other tree started growing specific roots that break that other tree. It was the coolest thing I'd ever, I was also high, but it was the coolest thing that I had ever fucking heard of. And I was like, there's so many, and they had like a bazillion plants there, and it's just such a crazy, crazy world. That's some fucking real alien life shit. When you move away from animals and you start looking at plants, there's a lot of crazy plants out there. Yeah, there's a lot. Do you know that they splice different species of plants together? I think it's avocados and pistachios. I forget which one is the bottom and which one is the top. This is counter to what I just pulled up about liver. Oh, marijuana may protect the liver from alcohol. Yeah, it says those liver enzymes can protect against alcohol. Just two articles that disagree. It's the perfect drugs. It's the same fucking internet giving us two different things. But that's like smoking it versus CBD. The CBD thing is almost mostly edible, right? Oh, they said that they didn't know which strain they were using, they didn't know exactly what part of the cannabinoids were protecting. So they need to do more research, but they did 320,000 people. Yeah, that's the thing that used to suck about those THC pills. Remember they had those THC pills? What the fuck was that called? There was like a synthetic marijuana that was invented. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that? Like spice or some shit? There was ones that you could buy in like delis back in the day that was like, they looked like weeds. Wasn't there like a... Pharmaceutical, it was like a real thing. Yeah. What was the purpose of that? Marinol. Marinol, that's right. It was a pharmaceutical version of cannabis. Is that what it was? It was in, well, I remember it, but I don't remember what it was. Do you remember this? No, I never heard of it. Yeah, there was like a weed pill. You guys were out in California though. You guys got a lot of shit that we just didn't get. But I don't even, okay. Okay, it treats nausea and vomiting caused by cancer treatment. So instead of giving people actual marijuana, they gave them this marinol shit. And people were diagnosed with AIDS. Medication comes in capsule form. You can take by mouth as directed. The brand name of this medication is marinol. Yeah, that's what it was back in the day, right? It was for nausea. That's why people would smoke weed. That was the only thing really, when they first started talking about medical marijuana, it was like for cancer patients, for nausea, would help you eat. And then they started figuring out all the other shit that it's good for, CBD especially, right? Yeah. So yeah, maybe that's why it doesn't cause cancer. Maybe it's fighting your cancer simultaneously while you're smoking it. There has been, I don't know, but you gotta wonder what's causing cancer. Maybe it's just decreasing inflammation in general, and that's probably what's protecting you from cancer. Maybe. Who would've might guess about cancer? I'm terrified of cancer. It's terrifying. It should be terrifying. Yeah. It should be terrified of all kinds of things, like asteroids, ice ages. I'm not terrified of asteroids. I've never once thought about it. You always hear about it. I'm like, oh, they miss the earth by like, it's always like 100,000 miles. That doesn't seem that close. Yeah, it's just a time thing, Lewis. It's just a time thing. What do you mean? It's just a time thing. We're gonna get hit. It's inevitable. It's happened thousands of times probably while human beings have been alive. Look. Some of them are big. If an asteroid hits Mars and we hear about it, then I'm gonna go, all right, fuck. We're in trouble. Well, they had a big one hit Jupiter once. Oh, really? Yeah, and they really were surprised because the impact was far larger than they thought it was gonna be, but it was an enormous one. Apparently, that's what protects us. Jupiter's so massive that it sucks up most of the asteroids and comets. That's what allows us to not just be pelted all the time because there's just like hundreds of thousands of these near-earth objects that are just fucking flying around. Joe, why are you trying to scare the audience right now? I don't really know. What is your answer here? I'm not trying to scare anybody. These people are terrified right now. This is just what I think about all the time. The gas giant regularly absorbs hits from comets and asteroids protecting their inner solar system worlds. Damn. Yeah, I think they have the photo of it getting hit, but it got hit by some just fucking dinosaur killer. Just some big one, just sha-boom. Yeah, something like that. That's a wrap. So that you could see it. You could actually see it get hit. There's just no control with that. There's nothing that I can do. If we get hit by an asteroid one day, that's that. I can control not giving myself cancer by smoking blunts every day. Or maybe that's what's making you not have cancer. Yeah, damn. Maybe this is my Jupiter. That's just saving you. My Jupiter. Yeah, that's your Jupiter. There we go. Yeah, just space in general. It's like the most insane prospect ever, this infinite thing that we exist in and there's rocks flying through it that occasionally slam into the planet and cause civilization to reset. You know, is that actually what happened with like Big Bang Theory, right? That's the idea? That's what killed the dinosaurs? Well, Big Bang Theory is the beginning of the universe. What killed the dinosaurs is one of these asteroids. I'm an idiot, yeah. Yeah, you're not. Yeah, just don't. I don't know about any of these things. You don't think about asteroids all the time. I don't think about asteroids. I think about them all the time. I think about them all the time. Because I've had these experts on. They've fucking permanently mind fucked me. Especially Randall Carlson. He's this dude that along with Graham Hancock, they've come up with this theory that human beings got hit by asteroids somewhere around 11,800 years ago. And civilization just reset. And we were basically like savages for thousands of years. Which totally makes sense. And then the civilization that emerged from that, like Babylon and Mesopotamia, the first civilizations we know of like Sumer, those were probably a reboot, like thousands of years of chaos before they figured out how to calm down and develop civilization again. Yeah. I don't know about any of that shit, dude. How do you talk to these people? You're a fucking comic. Were you always this dude? You were like super interested in like everything? Because I watch you interview people. And you're really fucking good at like having these conversations with these people in all of these fields. And I'm going like, goddamn dude, like how do you have the capacity to take that all in and fucking just be interested? But it's only things that I'm interested in. Because no comic that I know does that. Like literally no, every other comic is a fucking idiot who's just smoking weed or drinking beer and just trying to show up and get some pussy at the end of the night. And I think, look, you know, it's a compliment because it really is, I think, why you created something so big is you're so interested in so much stuff that I think it made like, it gave you this like mass appeal. But was it like always that way or was it doing the podcast that turned you into that? Well, I've always been curious, but then doing the podcast allowed me to have all these conversations with people. It's like getting an accidental education. So it's like about just a broad range of subjects. But for me, it's just interesting. Like I like listening to people and talking to people and finding out how they tick. Yeah. Who was the most interesting person you had on the show ever? Man, there's probably not one most interesting. There's been a lot of them that are interesting. Yeah. You know, Elon's pretty fucking interesting. That's a rare one of a kind human being. Yeah. You know, like they don't make many of those. Yeah, he just said, I'm gonna buy Twitter. Yeah. That's crazy. And he overpaid for it by a lot. It's gangster as fuck, man. But he really, truly believed that we're in a very pivotal moment in our civilization when it comes to what is happening particularly with censorship. And when you have something that's essentially the town square for the world, which Twitter is, if you prevent people from other ideologies or other points of view or other political parties, if you prevent them from using this space and only people that agree with you can use that space, that's dangerous. And he recognized that. And I think we all do. That's fucking dangerous. I know you think you're doing it, whoever's doing that, because it's the right thing and we have to protect people from bad ideas, but that never ends well. It just doesn't end well. You're gonna give that control to someone next after you're gone, because that's gonna be like a thing we do now. You're gonna give that control to new people and they're gonna turn it the other way. They're gonna use it on you. They're gonna use it against causes that you believe in. We were headed in, before Elon bought Twitter, we were headed in a really weird, it seemed like very dangerous direction for comedy, for anybody who wasn't super left-wing liberal. If you were trying to create shit online, it was scary. I was like, and we do Legion of Skanks, most offensive podcast on Earth. We say a lot of fucked up shit, but I was like, we are not gonna be able to even put shit on the internet anymore. Forget just Twitter or anything else. I think they're gonna scrub it all from the internet. And then Elon came in and he kinda made people go like, wait a minute, hold on. We were getting crazy and people kinda pause. You see Shane has a special out on Netflix now. I feel like we've sort of calmed down a little bit and that was a big part of it, because it was like, well, no, we need to even the playing field a little bit. We need to hear all opinions and hear both sides. So I was actually legitimately worried and now it seems like this is a little bit of a pause in that. It's definitely a change of course. The problem is all the other social media platforms are essentially run by people who think the same way. They have the same opinions on things. There's no one social media platform that stands out, that's like a huge place where, other than Twitter now or X, where you could just say whatever the fuck you want. Like people were saying Michelle Obama's a man. Like they say the Earth is flat. There's like plenty of people that are talking about the Earth being flat. Yeah, that's also fucking crazy. You can say whatever the fuck you want. And there's only one platform like that. Yeah. Like all the other ones. It's not like there's a bunch of those. It's like you can go and say whatever you want on Instagram. No, you can't. They'll put a fucking thing saying fact check or this is incorrect and misleading information. And even sometimes I've gone to some of those fact checks. I'm like, you didn't fact check this at all. Right. Like this is just like not approved. This is a not approved message. Yeah, that's why I try to disconnect from it as much as possible. I think everyone should. We, I think it's truly like the downfall of society is social media. I think we're sharing ideas too quickly, too dangerously. I don't think it's that, but I think it's transforming society. I think we better catch the fuck up. We better catch up. Well, we will. And look, I think part of it is a lot of these, they don't really know how to handle it. It just moves too quickly. Right. So I think that we're gonna look back at this time and we're gonna go, oh yeah, that was like a real, it was just us getting a hold of the internet. The internet just fucking came out and then we got social media and it's just transformed everything. The whole world, we're all connected. I mean, dude, the world is tiny now. Like it doesn't even feel like, but I think we're gonna look back and go like, yeah, we were like irresponsible with it. We were like trying to destroy each other. We were trying to hurt each other with it. It's like, it became like warfare so quickly. I tweeted out a joke the other day. She said, dumb joke about Amber Heard. I don't have a dog in the race. I don't give a shit about Amber Heard, Johnny Depp. That whole thing, like, from my perspective, it looked like two crazy people abusing each other, right? It's kind of hot, right? But who gives, the whole joke is that Amber Heard is so hot that I would let her shit in my bed. I would let her shit on my couch on the kitchen counter. Dumb joke, very mild. Dude, all of these fucking chicks that are Amber Heard supporters are coming after me on Twitter. Still, to this day, three days later, nonstop, just kind of like, you don't know Amber Heard. She was abused. And I'm like, this is fucking psychotic, dude. Like, it is, they're digging up my old tweets. They're like looking up, anytime I've said anything questionable and they're reposing it. I'm like, idiot, I posted that. It's public. Are these real people you think? I don't know. Or is this like a media campaign company? I think it might be a media campaign company because they all have like a hashtag stand with Amber and their thing. I didn't even post her name in it. I just posted the joke. I'm not accusing her of this, but you know that is absolutely a real thing. Yeah. That is absolutely a real thing. There's a way that you can just like defend a person or attack a person with bots. I think, yeah. I think they're for sure using it. Look, we know the Russians are using it. We know that, and they always find these troll farms. Like one of them, they found that 19 of all the top 20 Christian sites on Facebook were run by Russian troll farms. Really? Really? When I found out that they were like Russia like interfered with the election, like with like social media and shit, I was like, that's kind of fucking awesome. It's badass. I wonder, they certainly tried. And I'm sure we try with theirs. The question is like, was there like real interference? Well, because the thing was like the Russia hacked our election. Like, I don't think that's true. I think you can push information. I think they, I know Trump and Biden both did this, right? They both had massive social media teams. I'm sure. Yeah. I know comedians who have massive social media teams. So I'm sure that they both had like the best of the best. And yeah, they both went in and manipulated algorithms and did whatever they had to do in order to get their message in front of the most people possible. And that's the game now. That's a big part of it. Yeah, that's definitely a big part of it. But it's also, it's just like, this is not going to stop right here. This is what freaks me out. This introduction to social media, the whole country kind of freaking out, but it seems like more calm now, right? What's next? What is the next thing? Well, the next election cycle is going to suck. The election cycle, it just sucks. Because you know what it is? People on the left, they start attacking movies and comedy and music when they feel like they're under attack. And when Trump was in office, the left was like, dude, we are under attack. This is like, we're losing the world. So they had to just, anything, dude, any podcaster who, you know, I mean, dude, it was articles being written about comedians like Shane and the Legion of Skanks. It was really crazy. And it was just because Trump was in office and they just felt like they were at war and they had a win. They had to get their wins where they can get them. And right now, when Biden is in office, people are really leaving comedians alone. And I'm telling you, I think they'd scar it. We have this win. We don't really need to go after comics. I found this yesterday. It's kind of relevant. When Rockefeller Center was empty in the 30s and 40s, the British Security Coordination Organization came in. It's part of the British Secret Service. And as it says here that they used like, that space was their head offices, the 35th and 36th floor of Rockefeller Center, where they disseminated and controlled a part of the media for at least a year or two before World War II, it seems like. Wow. Disseminated stories picked up by radio stations, played before the American public, anti-German stories. Yeah, that was always the thing. They've always been fucking with us. Oh, I wanted to ask if this is true, because someone was trying to convince me the other night that those stories of like bricks being left off in neighborhoods where protests, has that been substantiated? I lived in New York during that time. It was during the whole BLM protests. Yeah, it was during the BLM protests. And without a doubt, there was just fucking huge piles of fucking bricks in multiple places in New York City. I saw it with my own eyes. Weird. There was no construction happening. There would just be a fucking massive stack of heavy fucking cement bricks. Jesus. And it was out of nowhere. Somebody put them there. As it relates, just side note, I remember one time. Before the riots, had you ever noticed piles of bricks? Like construction sites just laying there? You would see a construction site, and you would see, but they always, with a construction site, and once again, I smoke a lot of weed in public. So we were always looking for like back alleys and shit to smoke weed in, stairwells. I used to sell comedy club tickets on the street. That's how I got my start in comedy in New York City, all throughout the early 2000s. And you can't really get into construction sites. It's always chained off. They always have, the sites are pretty controlled because people will steal shit. Right, of course. You wouldn't just leave your bricks out. Bricks are valuable. Because then if someone's coming home, they go, look, there's a fucking pallet of bricks. Yeah, dude. Grab them. That was definitely true, and I don't know the conspiracy. So you saw more than one of those piles? More than one, with my own eyes. Wow. Because I was having this conversation. I was like, was that real? Why did I hear that some of that was bullshit? But I didn't look into it. The conspiracy was that, sorry, the conspiracy was that the police were leaving it out, or right wingers were leaving it out. So BLM protesters would use it and look worse. That was one of the theories. Was there another theory that they wanted to accelerate the possibility of chaos by giving people readily available weapons? That's the better theory. This would add to the conspiracy for sure. NYPD commissioner says bricks are being placed and then transported to peaceful protests. What? And also, Councilman then calls them construction debris. What? I also saw a bunch of BLM protests, and they were legitimately peaceful. I'm sure. The ones in New York City were like, it was, you know, they were just protesting, they were banging fucking drums. Yo, that's crazy. They just left bricks out there. What is that? That's definitely different than all the other stuff we saw, where it was like a giant palace. Yeah, they were. Right, but this is plenty of, plenty of rocks that someone just dropped off and left with the box tops open. Yeah. You remember people were putting rocks in milkshakes, because the whole thing was- Construction debris. Throw milkshakes at people? At Nazis, yeah. Jesus Christ, man. This is insane. But it's like, yeah, I mean, and I think the internet is a big part of the hysteria. People get worked up. If you have to give a fuck, right? Before you had to get a book, you had to go like really research and shit, right? You had to go out, if you cared about something, or you had to care. You had to really put in the footwork and physically care. Now people can sort of pretend to care, while they're just being addicted to their phone, while they're being addicted to Twitter and all these other social media platforms, and they're being tricked into just, you know, looking at advertising, because that's what it's all about. They get to also pretend that they care, they get to feel like they're doing something, and then it just starts to snowball, and then it turns into fucking like real chaos, and people at each other's throats about shit that people don't even really give a fuck about. If you're in the supermarket, like people are just cool. Like in real life, you're in the supermarket, nobody gives a fuck about who voted for who, nobody cares about, you know, what your political beliefs are. We just coexist and we do what we do in real life, and then we jump on the internet, and we just fucking, it's a war. Well, I think it's also got exacerbated during the pandemic, right? Because everybody stayed in, they were at home, their anxiety's high, they didn't know if they're gonna be able to work again. Who knows what the fuck's gonna happen? People were freaked out, and then they got more freaked out on social media, and you're on it all day, because you don't have a job, you're at home now, so that you're just kind of fucking weirding out in front of your Twitter all day. You know, people have lost days and days of their lives, just staring at other people's opinions all day long. I'd be embarrassed to tell you my screen time number. It's embarrassing. Do you know what yours is? No, I don't know what it is. It's fucking, mine's like nine hours a day. It's bad. That's not good. It's really bad. You can look at it, you just type in screen time to the search bar, screen. Maybe not, I don't know. It's like nine hours, it's like eight or nine hours a day. It's crazy. It's wild, you gotta think, oh, I'm getting some things done. You pretend you're working. Yeah, but also I'm tuning into the world. I gotta check in on the world, see what's going on out there in the news. But really just hitting that button. What a weird addiction. Yeah, that was that documentary where they talked about they designed it that way when you refresh it. It does a little physical, little blip, and you wanna see another interaction. They compared it to a slot machine. You go, boop, did I get anything? Did I win, did I win, did I win? Oh, I got likes, I got replies, I got whatever. Yeah, it's super addictive. It's also kind of, in some ways, there's something dehumanizing about it because more and more people are just communicating through text messages and online social media and stuff and not communicating that much in real life. I think kids are sending each other text messages more than they're talking to each other. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? My son's just got a phone for the first time, he's 10. Just got his iPad for the first time. It was a conscious decision that me and his mother made. We said, we're not going to have him be addicted to a screen and staring at a screen all the time. You see kids in restaurants, as soon as they sit down, they give them a pad or a phone and they are disconnected from the entire conversation. They're not making eye contact. I wanted to give my kid every chance possible in the world to be successful and he's such a bright kid. He shakes people's hands, he looks them directly in the eyes. He's just such a little gentleman. He's the fucking best. And I think a big part of it is the fact that we just didn't enable him to do that and we didn't allow him to do that. But yeah, I'm super fucking scared of my kid growing up. Also, I'm just scared of my kid finding all the shit that I've said online. I have to like fucking, I have to like, dude, I'm telling you right now, I think about that every day. Every day, I'm like, dude, he's gonna fucking, because he's from this new generation. He's a good kid, he's a sweet kid. And he's obviously 10 times more woke than I'm ever gonna be, right? He's just the generation. And I'm so afraid that he's just gonna look up the shit that I say and out of context, just not really understand why we say stupid shit to make people laugh. Yeah, so I'm just secretly trying to make him racist. I whisper things in his ears that I would've put him to bed. Did you imagine your kid doing standup? Would you even encourage it? I would not encourage it, but I would not discourage him from doing anything that he wanted to do, like literally anything. And he has done standup. Really? Yeah, so we did the roast at Skankfest in Houston for me. And me and my ex-girlfriend wrote him a few jokes and he did the jokes, not at Skankfest, he did it like a video. And then, so he was really into that. And then I was at the stand one night with just at the comic table, I brought him. And Bonnie McFarlane was there with, and she's got kids, well, Bonnie's awesome. And he was like, I want to go on stage. I was like, James, you're not going on stage. If you want to go on stage, I was like, if you really want to go on stage, in a few years, I was like, you can write some jokes, take it seriously, go to an open mic, do it the way that a comic would do it, right? And he was like, okay, yeah, you're right, dad. And then I went on stage and then two minutes later, Bonnie McFarlane comes in the room with him and she's like, here, put him on stage. And she shoved him up on stage. And yeah, he started roasting me and talking shit about me and he did well. He's a little performer, dude. He's in musical theater and he's like, super well-rounded kid. Yeah, he does jiu-jitsu now. He just won his first jiu-jitsu tournament. Gold medal, first tournament. Congratulations, that's awesome. The best thing I've ever experienced as a father in my entire life was watching my son win a jiu-jitsu tournament. There's nothing fucking better. Better than the day he was born by far. It was the fucking best. That's amazing. He dominated another dude's come. That was that. My come went in there and dominated another dude's come. I did that really. That's my medal. I wear the medal around the house. But it was really fucking, that was the coolest thing I've ever experienced in my life. That's very cool. Sounds like he's on a good path. That's awesome. Yeah, he is. Beautiful, man. But yeah, I mean, fucking, I feel bad for this next generation because I don't even think they realize what's happening with that. It's just that addiction to your phone. That's really what I think it's gonna be is eventually we're gonna, everyone's gonna have this sort of opinion and attitude because people are starting to get wind of it that it's bad to be on your phone that much. And I think just parents are gonna just start saying like, yeah, no, you can't be on a fucking cell phone all day. You can't be on, and I think it comes down to us. I think we have to make a decision to do that with our kids. Yeah, you gotta teach some discipline for sure, but also recognize that everyone is using these things and it's a part of civilization now. I really feel like if we could see the writing on the wall, we would be terrified. I think human beings are, we're slipping into some weird place where we're for sure within the next few years gonna be connected to computers. Oh yeah. How we're gonna do it, I don't know how they're gonna do it. Whether it's something you wear or something that's in you, but it's coming, kids. And it's almost like all these things are falling in line at the same time. Like all these endocrine disruptors and plastics that are fucking up people's reproductive systems. And then at the same time, we're all getting addicted to phones and not as personal. Because people aren't really communicating, hanging out and just talking to each other without checking their phone every five seconds. The future's gonna be us looking at each other and downloading each other's thoughts. Because you get airdrop pictures and shit now. It's literally gonna be like, here, take this picture just with a fucking thought. And 100% is gonna happen. They're already doing shit, right? They're already making devices that can go in your body, that connect to other shit. I'm sure it's so much more advanced than we even know. Think about how much we don't know, right? There's gotta be some crazy shit going on out there. For sure. Really unethical shit. Some DARPA shit that's going on right now. Hey, what was that thing? I wanna see Elon Musk's basement. The experiments that he has going on right now. It's probably 18 miles deep. What is that thing they did where they recorded human thoughts? Like someone was watching something and they got a recording of that from something this person was wearing. I saw it, I saw it. Yeah, bro, that is like, just think, Morse code was not that long ago. Yeah. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep. It's wild. That was not that long ago. And it seems like technology will just move now with AI. It's just moving faster and faster and faster. It's like, it's really cool, but it's also fucking terrifying. That's the shit that I'm terrified. Fuck asteroids, dude. This shit that we're talking about right now is the shit that keeps me up at night. No, is this it? Scientists recorded a Pink Floyd song from patients brainwaves. Yeah, this is it. The tech could eventually allow for communication without words. What? 100%, if these egg heads keep going, Oh yeah, dude. We're gonna be doing crazy shit. That's the really like, and then you gotta figure like, it's gonna be who's rich, who has the best computer built into their body because the same guy who can afford a fucking Lamborghini is gonna have a super brain. And his computer is gonna be faster than your computer. He's gonna be able to download and upload information faster than you. It's kind of wild. Well, you're gonna have to be an early adopter, right? You would have to be like one of the people that gets the brain operation first. And then you'd be like way ahead of everybody. Yeah, but that first one we're gonna fuck. It's gonna first, it's gonna fuck up dude. The night before the operation, are you sure this is gonna work Harry? Harry, look me in the eye. You're gonna cut it into my brain. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. I don't wanna hear pretty sure Harry. Yeah, dude, any dude, it's fucking nuts. That's like those people on that, that went on that, you know, the fucking submarine thing. Yeah. It's like, what a cool thing that must have been to like sign up for you. Like, dude, we're gonna go to see the Titanic. And then, that's fucking wild, dude. That could have been you Joe. You could have been down on that thing. No? Not a fucking chance in hell. Was it Mr. Beast? He said that they invited him to go do it. I am not hopping in that fucking backyard smoker and drop it into the bottom of the ocean. Would you go to space? Right now, I'm like one of these charters. No fucking chance, son. You love space. Those things blow up. You have to go real fast to go into space, kid. Those things blow up. I'm not interested. Not until they get that shit down like an electric car. When they get a spaceship that moves like a Tesla, just whoosh, okay, I'm in. Yeah, just not worth it. I get it. Look, starry nights are beautiful. I get it. I get it. I want to go out, get real high, and come back down. I'm good. You fucking keep that. I trust that it's up there. I don't have to jump at the top of a cliff. I'm good. I'll just sit down and look at it from here. Even as high as we get, what we're calling space, look, we've made it into space. We're like fucking that far off the Earth's surface. There's so much out there. Is that what those tours are? You just go into space for a second? You just go like, come back down. You don't go to space space. I want to go land on the moon. I want to check out Mars. You're not going to Jupiter. Dodge some fucking asteroids. You know what I bet they will be able to do probably really soon is to give you a VR representation of what it would be like to travel through space. I bet it already exists. Yeah, there was a NASA thing that I had on my Oculus. Yeah, that was good. It was super cool. I mean, it was just a movie, essentially. I didn't get to free move, but it was like I was on a space station type thing. So you were moving all over. It was really, really cool. Is this it? No. What is this, Jamie? I just looked up space, tripped outer space. That's the first thing that popped up. Get the fuck out of here. You would go in there. This is a space elevator, and it's going to fall. It's ballooning. OK. So you got a little bit of extra. Bro, I am not going in a fucking balloon. What if it gets hit by an asteroid? Looks like your studio, Jeff. Oh my god, it does. Podcast hit a balloon. No rockets, no G-Force. No, listen. They have to do it 1,000 times before I even think about doing it. A six hour journey. A six hour journey. Six hour journey. See, that's crazy. Bro, I am not going up there. Perfect place for podcast. Perfect place to fall to your death. Like, how many fucking fail safes? Do you do nothing like dangerous? I'm sure, for the record, I'm sure it's safe. Yeah. Do you do anything dangerous? Like, uh. $100. $125. $125,000? $125,000? Oh, it, what? Refundable deposit. So $125,000 to go up in a balloon. Well, I hope it works. In six hours, I feel like that's kind of disappointing. I feel like space should be more than six hours away in a balloon. I'm scared of anything that people are trying out, like flying cars. I'm like, just drive that for a while. You drive it for a while. Yeah, dude. I'll be over here. So even like this, just the self-driving cars that fucking, like you hear about once in a while, they'll just fucking go haywire. Like, mistakes happen. Yes, mistakes happen. And then you're just in a car that you can't fucking stop, and it's like mowing people down. It's a nightmare. I have a Tesla. I never put the self-driving on. Yeah. I mean, I do sometimes when I'm on the highway, just for goofies, doo-doo. Yeah. And it just drives itself. But I keep my hands on it. So it completely self-drives. Yeah, completely self-drives. Up to a point. But I don't let it. You know, it's just, to me, it's just like, I'd rather just be really tuned into what I'm doing and paying attention. Yeah. My car, because I fall asleep, if I drive for more than an hour and a half, I don't care what time of day it is, I start to doze off immediately. I get like road hypnosis, they call it. Do you have a sleep app now? No. No? You sure? Yeah. I don't think so. Do you ever get a sleep study? No. Just guessing. Yeah, no, I don't snore, though. No? Do you have to snore to have sleep apnea? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's part of it is because you're choking. Super common with guys, especially guys that work out. I don't snore at all. Or guys that are overweight. But yeah, no, on my car, I have an Audi, and it has all the lane correction shit. So if I start to doze off, it'll just automatically shift back into the lane. Jesus Christ. It automatically keeps a certain distance between the car in front of me and the car behind me. Oh, wow. And I've still been into five accidents since I started driving again. I moved out of New York City during the pandemic, 2020, and I've been in five accidents with this car. My insurance is $1,800 a month, Joe. What the fuck, dude? Yeah, it's wild. Why are you so bad at driving? Joe, I have- Is it your fault every time? I get road hypnosis, and I fall asleep all the time. No, that hasn't been it. It's always, dude, I'm just a fucking pothead, dude. And I'll just back up, and I'll just- There's a fucking car, and I hit it. And it's never anything bad. It's always like- Oh, like little bumps. You know, like fender benders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I called up my insurance company, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? I was mad at them, and I was like, they were like, sir, you've been in five accidents. We shouldn't even be insuring you. Yeah. And then I changed insurance companies, and now it's like $1,200 a month for car insurance. Yeah. There might be a bargain. Maybe. Depends on your activity. Doggy. That's not good, though, dude. Is it because you just didn't drive for a long time? Yeah. Before you lived in New York, and now you're back driving? I drove when I was 16. I moved to New York when I was 19. Didn't drive for 21 years. Oh, that's what it is. And then I just came back, and then I just, I got a little bit too, like all the bings and the dings, when you're like backing up, and you're almost hitting shit. It's great, but then I started depending on it like a little bit too much, and I just stopped paying attention. And then, you know, my phone will ring, I'll look down, and then here we are, I'm an offender bender. Yeah. Yeah, that's not good. I feel like I'm a good driver. No, I bet you're not. Yeah. But every guy thinks he's good at whatever. I'm a fucking awesome driver, bro. By playing tennis, I'd be number one. Doggy, how do you define a good driver, right? Like, fine. If you take out my accidents, I feel like I'm good at steering the car and turning it on turns. That's like if you're saying to your teacher, if you take out all my Fs, I only got A's. I'm careless. I think I'm a bad person, but I'm a good driver. That's the problem. Well, the careless part is a bad driver. Yeah. Like, by definition. You know, Joe, you're winning me over on this argument. You have to, on that one, you gotta let it go. You know what, fine. It's like, you can't be good. I'll say right now, I'm a bad driver. I've never said it publicly before. I've never admitted that to anybody, but I will say it to you right now, Joe Rogan, I am a bad driver. It's okay. Yeah, you can be good at other things. It's normal. Especially taking that much time off, man. That's a big readjustment as an adult, 20 years plus of not driving and also on your driving. If you did road gigs, would you get rentals? Say that again. Road gigs, did you get rental cars? Before, when I was living in the city. Yeah, during the 20 years, yeah. Noted, no, I would do public transportation, Uber. I mean, I'm also a bad Uber rider. Like, I'm bad, I have the worst, my Uber rating is like abysmal. Why is it so bad? Because I'm a dick to Uber drivers very often. Why, Lewis? I'm gonna tell you why, all right. So this is, it all came from New York City. When I was in New York City, I lived my life, like I like to be, whatever it is, dude, I like to be right on time. Like I showed up exactly at 12.30 today on the dot. I like to just, I don't like being early, I don't like being late. But when you live your life that way, you're very often late, because things happen. One thing will go wrong. The Uber driver made a wrong turn today, that's that, right? So very often when I would get into Uber cars, I would be running late for something already. And I'd be like really anxious and just like, oh fuck, I gotta go, I gotta go. And then they make a wrong turn, they wouldn't pay attention to the GPS. Like if an Uber driver doesn't pay attention to the GPS and they start doing their own thing, I would just be like, dude, what are you doing? I mean, come on, you gotta pay attention to the GPS. And then you're like, of course, they're gonna give you a one star, like immediately. So yeah, it was that. But it was just, I'm not like that much of a dick, I just feel like. People are very sensitive today. People are super sensitive today. And when people can complain that easily, with the simple touch of my button, ruin your rating, sir. Yeah, it's a bad Uber rating. Well, you know. I've been denied rides. They don't know you though. People who know you know you're a lovable guy. But on the surface, when you're yelling at someone about GPS, they might think, this guy might be an asshole. I know. If they got to be your friend, they go, no, he's a great guy. No, that's just Lewis. That's just Lewis, he's a great guy. One of the things he does. But if you're like a sensitive person, also, if you're driving an Uber, there's always this fear of picking up a psycho. There's always this fear, like so even a little bit of an aggression towards an Uber driver, the Uber driver's like, where's this going? Yeah. You know? Like how many Uber drivers have been murdered? I'm sure a lot. I don't know. But probably less than the cab drivers. Oh, gypsy cabs? Bro, do you remember in the 90s? In the 90s, there was a terrifying rash of murders in gypsy cabs. Where I was living in New York, I was living in New Rochelle, and these gypsy cabs were getting, I'm good, these gypsy cabs were getting like heisted, and the guy, they'd just shoot them in the back of the head and steal all their money. And they would say, no, it was really horrible stories about these like poor immigrants who came over here, and they're driving these gypsy cabs, and people are robbing them and shooting them. Yeah, my uncle Howard, God rest his soul, was a gypsy cab driver, and in the 90s, he was hit in the back of the head with a hammer. Jesus Christ. The guy just put a hammer into his skull. Didn't kill him. His... Oh my God. It's a big guy, he was like six, six, big fucking burly guy. And yeah, then they just stole his car. He rolled out, he was like on the George Washington Bridge. Oh my God, with a hammer in his head. Yeah, but you could feel the hole was still in his head, dude, they never like filled the hole. Oh Jesus Christ. I mean, dude, I don't know what type of doctors we were going to. They were supposed to fill that hole, I'm sure. But it was like an actual like... Doctors back then. Yeah. I mean, if you got your knee operated on. I have a buddy of mine who was on the US ski team, and he has more operations than anyone I've ever met. And he had his knees fixed in the 80s, when they used to open you up like a fish, and they would take a chunk of your hamstring and just screw it all in place there, and try to fix your ACL, and maybe it'll stick, and maybe it won't. And your legs compromised now, because a chunk of your hamstring is missing. It was brutal shit, man. That sucks. And he had both of his knees done like that. I gotta get surgery on my right knee now. I got a knee scope on my left knee. When you say you got a knee scope, so your ligaments were intact, but your meniscus was torn. Yeah, my meniscus was torn, yeah. So they came in and they cleaned out all the little loose pieces. It's still kinda sore to be honest with you. Did they trim it? It's gonna be sore. It has to be sore for a long time. Yeah, no, it was a while ago. And yeah, I haven't gone to jujitsu. I went back to jujitsu too quickly. I went three weeks after I got the meniscus surgery. You gotta wait longer than that. Yeah, I went back, and I was like, I was like, yeah, I can do it. And then I was just walking out of the movies with my girl, we went to go see Cocaine Bear, and we walked out, and she said something, and I looked at her, and then I just literally twisted my ankle. My knee just jerked again, and now it's in pain here. And this one, every time I step off my right foot, it clicks every time. And I remember you hit me up, and you're like, oh dude, reach out to the knee over toes guy. And I was like, Joe, I don't have your life. I can't just reach out to knee over toes guy. He's not gonna be like, oh dude, sure, yeah, let me fucking answer this guy's questions. So I watched two of his videos, I started walking around backwards in fucking the city. People were looking at me like I'm a lunatic. I'm like, I can't do this. I'd rather have bad knees than walk around backwards. If you have a treadmill, that's the best way to do it. Did you try it on a treadmill? I did at the gym. I couldn't get it to move. He said to do it without it being on. I think it was the treadmill wasn't designed to move when it wasn't on, but yeah, I was doing a little bit of backwards jogging, but yeah, dude, I haven't been able to go back to Jiu Jitsu since. Yeah, give it time. And another thing that could help you is, did you ever get PRP in there or anything to help it heal up? Platelet replacement now. Platelet rich plasma, that can kind of help heal after injuries help you heal. A lot of people like that for injuries. Maybe stem cells, maybe consider going down to that place in Tijuana. Yeah. Get your knee while it's recovering, hit it with stem cells, that'll help you too. I should. I should do all these things, but I will probably just live my life in pain. Yeah, but it'll fix it. It'll make it better around it, it really will. I know, I gotta motivate, dude. I'm just always so busy that I never have time to take off to do shit, you know what I'm saying? It's really, yeah, it's tough, but, and I miss Jiu Jitsu, Jiu Jitsu's the fucking dude. It's so, what a badass fucking sport. It's so cool. It's very good for you, too. It's good for your head. Yeah, it was great, dude. Yeah, it's great for your head. The rest of the world seems so not fearsome anymore. You just spent the last hour and a half trying to get guys to not strangle you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Trying not to get your arm broken. You know? You're trying not to get your fucking back snapped sideways. Every day you walk into it and go like, oh, I'm going to find out what I'm made of today. And that's psychologically to go into, and not like, I'm gonna be in a lot of pain today. Yeah. And to face that, it's similar to working out, but Jiu Jitsu's different because it's like, it just felt so much more real, like actual live rolling and sparring. It just, it was like, it's real. It's like you're really trying to fucking... Eddie Bravo said it best. He said, it's like you're playing a real live video game. Yeah. Because you're playing a real live video game. Like you got a video fighting game, but you're playing it with your body. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I miss it, I really do. And it was something that I really connected with my son. So we were like, you know, neck and neck. I got my blue belt finally. And just like being able to actually know what I'm talking about with him, it's really cool. You know? Yeah. And we trained him for this tournament. He was in class three to four days a week, but then we have Matt's at home. And I was just working with him at home a couple of days a week. And it was just a cool way to bond with my kid on a different level. And that's why I really, really miss it for the most part. Well, it's not over, dude. Just be careful. Just be careful getting back. You can, you could fix that. Yeah. And now I'm boxing and now I feel like a fraud every time I box. I'm like, dude, I could just take you down and fucking choke you out. This is like, you just see... It makes you feel like a fraud. It feels silly with like putting gloves on and boxing, you're thinking about it wrong, man. You're learning a skill. No, I know. It is awesome. It's still badass. Don't get me wrong. But when I think about it as like a martial art, I go, this just doesn't, it just doesn't seem like the same type of superpower that Jiu-Jitsu felt like. It's not, but if you don't have it, you're in real trouble. Because if someone has it and they're very fast, they can fuck you up before you can get close to grabbing them. And if they're athletic, they can avoid being taken down. Like a takedown is not easy. That's like the hardest part of Jiu-Jitsu. What if it's someone like Terrence Crawford, he used to wrestle, used to wrestle, knows how to wrestle, his kids can wrestle and he knows how to box. Are you sure you're gonna grab him and take him down? You probably not gonna do jack shit. He's gonna fuck you up standing. There was a good video and it was like just a Jiu-Jitsu coach and he brought in a professional boxer. And that was the whole exercise. He had all of his Jiu-Jitsu guys trying to take this guy down. The guy could only box and they could only try to take him down. And this guy was just really good. And his footwork was incredible and they just couldn't get close to him. He was toying with him. And it was actually in a ring or a cage. No, this was just on mats like in a, but there was walls. But as long as there's some space. Yeah. And yeah, it was a reminder. You're like, oh no, it's not a foregone conclusion that a Jiu-Jitsu guy is just gonna go take a striker down and be able to joke him out. You gotta get there. Dude, especially in this day and age, how many kids grow up watching the UFC and start training at a really young age? You never know who the fuck knows what. And if two guys decide to square off in some open field somewhere, like you're just rolling the dice. There's some great videos on the internet where you see people that know about fights and they break down street fights. And there was like, oh, you can just see like the stance of the guy who knows how to fight. And you're like, oh no, this guy knows how to fight. This guy's about to get, before they even throw a punch, you're like, this guy's about to get fucking annihilated. And yeah, you'd never know. And that's why I became a pussy after I started training. I literally, dude, I'm afraid of everybody now. Cause I know exactly how bad I am. I know exactly how slow I am. I know how old I am. I'm like, oh dude, I am a fucking bitch. And I'm way more able to protect myself and my family today than I was, you know, years ago. But when I was a kid, before I knew, ever knew anything about fighting at all, I would have fought anybody in front of me. I thought I was a tough guy. I really did. And then once I started training, I was like, oh dude, I'm not tough. There's literally, I'm the least tough person that I'm, that's in this class right now. Well, tough is one of those things that people like to think that they are without any proof. It's true. You know, it's just. It's like being a good driver. It's real similar. Everybody wants to think they're tough. That's a man thing. We were raised to be, and that's also, I think that's kind of prime. I don't think people lose that. Cause my son is a nice kid and his mom's like, you know, super fucking liberal and very much a feminist, right? And you know, we raised him, you know, very balanced, but he still wants to be tough. He still wants to be tough. He still like fucking just has a thing in him. Little boys, they wrestle in the rough house and they, and I don't think, I think it's just a natural thing that we have in us as dudes. And I think women naturally want to be pretty and they naturally want to have, you know, nice things and take care of things. I think these are natural things that we sort of beat out of our, you know, beat out of ourselves or beat out of our children. Well, some people definitely do. And I think there's this phrase, like toxic masculinity. That's like the worst aspects of masculine behavior, right? So people associate even masculinity with the word toxic sometimes, just cause together they're terrible. Yeah. You know, but yeah, it's not, it's not praised, you know, but it's so normal as long as it's under control. And the best thing about jujitsu and martial arts in general is the people that are the practitioners of it. They're the, they're probably way less likely to get into street fights. They're probably way less likely to go and purposely hurt people. Yeah. They're probably way less likely to go and pick fights and not a hundred percent because you know, you always get bad apples. They're just are bad-ass dudes, you know, troubled people that just learn how to fight and they become scary. Yeah. That does happen too. Yeah. It was a war machine. That guy, I mean, just a fucking bad apple. Yeah. That was a crazy story, but yeah, you'll see. It's rare though. I mean, all the people at my gym, it's most, it's a lot of cops. It's kind of like, it's a lot of cops and then it's a lot of fucking just like potheads and they just come, they all just meet on the mat dude and everyone's cool. Yeah. I used to roll with this cop and he was a good dude. He was funny as shit, but he said, I don't give a fuck if you've got a medical license. I'm busting you. I was like, dude, what's wrong? You know, I smoke weed. You know, a good guy like, why are you so, it goes fucking the laws, the fucking law, man. He cared about the law. He was just like, I'm busting you. I wonder if like they have pressure to make a certain amount of arrests. For sure. Oh yeah. There's quotas. Isn't that insane though? That's nuts. Because imagine if just culturally, we all agreed to like one month of no crime and we like planned for it for a year and fucking, and there was no one speed, no one did anything. Everyone stopped at every stop. It's like the opposite of the purge. Yeah, what do the cops do? What do they do when they have these quotas? Do they just start firing cops? What do they do? Dude, they have to give tickets. They have to, that's how they make fucking money. They have, I get so many parking tickets too. I'm bad at parking. I'm not only am I bad at driving. I can't even park the car. All right. I would get arrested in New York as a kid in my 20s. It was always on sweet nights. They were two nights a week where they would take in everybody for any infraction. So very often you just get a ticket to appear in court and then they'd give you a fine, right? If it wasn't a sweet night, but if it was a sweet night and you get caught smoking weed, pissing in public, open container, they take you to central bookings. You have to spend like 24 to 48 hours in jail, see a judge. And it was just this whole part of this process where they were just collecting cash. It is just collecting cash. That is what they're doing. Every person they're bringing in has to deal with a fine. And that's that. It's just, it's a racket. That was the same thing with like, like stop and frisk. They were just literally- Writing tickets. Writing tickets. That's that. Yeah, a friend of mine's a cop used to say, it's glorified revenue collecting. Yeah. Well, that's what it is, right? And now they're figuring out they can make more money off of weed by having it be legal than off of writing tickets. Simple as that. There's a tipping point. So they did fund the police. Yeah. And then crime goes on. It's fucking wild, dude. It's so dumb. All of it's so dumb. Yeah. It's just such a weird time for people and thinking. It's so strange because there's so many different changes that are happening all at the same time. They're all just kind of piling into each other in this weird chaos of change. Yeah. It's fast. It's real fast. It's fast. And that's where it's like, you know, that the speed, it's almost, you don't have time to be comfortable anymore. You know, things just change so fast. There's always something new happening. There's always something to give a fuck about. Every week there's something new that we're supposed to care about. Yeah. It's like, at one point you want to just sit at home and just fucking go like, all right, let me just like enjoy life. At what point do you run out of room in your Twitter bio for flags? Yeah. I know. Let me start getting involved with some other countries too. It's crazy. That was the best. I don't even have this joke anymore, but I kind of was trying to talk about it in my act, about how everyone cared about the Ukraine for like two weeks because then it became Gay Pride Month and June hit and then everyone just changed their flags to Gay Flags. Since everyone stopped talking about the Ukraine. They kind of stopped talking about Maui real quick. Yeah. This is the flavor of the week. It's whatever the new, people don't have the attention span to care about something for more than a couple of weeks. The Maui one is wild. Because here's the question. How much would it cost to rebuild every home that was burned in the Maui fires? How many homes were burned? Let's find out. I was on vacation when this all happened. So I just missed the news cycle. So I'm one of these people. I just really don't know much about it. I know that Maui, a bunch of homes burned and there's a lot of people that were displaced. A lot of people died too. Yeah. A lot of people are missing. Jesus. Yeah. It's a terrible, terrible, terrible story. 2200 buildings. 2200 buildings about 86% which are residential were destroyed. The cost to rebuild is estimated to be 5.52 billion. Now, as a point of reference, one of the checks that they sent to Ukraine, they had accidentally sent them $6 billion more. Isn't that, wasn't that the number? Accidentally, well. Wasn't that what they said? There was like an accounting error. Yeah, but I don't think that that's how it would have means. Yeah, I know, I know. It's a little more complicated than that. But just as a point of reference, that would rebuild every house. Just the accidental overpayment would rebuild every house. Dude. But imagine that the government with literally, they could just choose to do that and everyone would get behind it and they would rebuild every house. And everyone would be like, cool. Finally, the government does something good. But the problem is a lot of people are dead, man. A lot of people are dead. They don't even know the numbers yet. Yeah. It's very, very, very spooky and very scary. What was it started by? It was like a power lines fell and hit grass and just imagine being trapped. It's horrifying, man. Just watching those people bobbing around the water while ever everything around them is on fire in fucking Maui. Who would have ever predicted that? That's never happened there. Yeah, that's wild, dude. It's but, you know, everybody's like there's so many wild conspiracies, like fucking directed energy weapons were used. There's all these crazy conspiracies about people preparing for this fire in advance. Every time something like this happens, just the super sketchy conspiracy theories start flying around. Yeah. People are bored. They want something. There's got to be a story. There's got to be a villain. It can't be just some simple shit. Well, also, a lot of times there's real villains out there. That's the other thing that sucks. I know sometimes people are looking for villains that aren't there, but that's because they found a bunch. It's like if you go mushroom hunting, you know, and you find some really good mushrooms, you know, you keep going mushroom hunting. Right. You know, they're going to they've found a lot of things that turn out to be real. And you're like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, every time the problem with conspiracy theorists are they believe all the conspiracies. So it's like, dude, if you just if you're like, hey, dude, I believe the Earth is flat. You know, that's what I believe. But it's like they also believe that fucking dinosaurs aren't real. Yeah, it's like, like, you clear bombs are not everything is a fucking conspiracy to just pick one. And then maybe you can convince me of it. The Earth is flat thing. I've never had anybody be able to even articulate it in a way where I understand why they think that. It's not. You could watch one of those videos and you could be compelled if you don't have a good understanding of what's actually available in terms of like satellite technology and how they've been utilizing it forever and how you can take the images that are from Japanese satellites, Americans. They show everything in the exact same place. There's no disparity in terms of like, wait a minute. They think Africa is shaped like this. And we wait a minute. Where's the ice wall? There's no ice wall. Like, OK, it's like it looks like every other fucking planet we've ever found. It's round. The idea that this is the one that's not round. So it's in a lot of ways, it's a biblical thing. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure in the beginning, it started as a troll. I really think so. Right. I think there's a lot of these four Chan guys that Amber Heard bought. These guys are amazing. I think these are real people that are just bored. And they just they just come up with some shit and they they implement it for sure. I mean, these are the same guys that you remember when that dude, the actor Shia Labouf, he had this website about Trump and is like, he will not divide us. Yeah. And he like had a flag that was streamed 24 seven. Yeah. From his website and these super nerds online, they figured out exactly where it is in the country by looking at the stars in the background. Yeah, that's right. And then like figuring out where the constellation would be. And they all sort of showing up. Yeah. And so they started honking their horns to hear if they heard themselves on the webcam. And then the guy finds the flag, takes it down and looks at the camera goes, fuck Shia Labouf. How do you not love that? How do you not love Shia Labouf? Probably loves that. Honestly, it's objectively hilarious. Bro, it's objectively hilarious. Yeah, that's hilarious. And the crazy thing is Radiolab did a podcast on it. And it was a really funny podcast. It was really good. Radiolab is a great podcast, by the way. And they did this podcast on it. And then they wound up taking the podcast down because people were offended that these people on 4chan who were responsible for this, like these people, they say horrible things online and inappropriate things and racist things and they show violence. And you're, you know, you're supporting them. So they like, just as a whole for like anyone on 4chan is considered a racist or violent. That's the idea. I don't think I think there's just a lot of chaos on those places. Yeah, when you're anonymous, you can you can. And it's funny, like that's just the truth, right? Trolling is funny. There's a great episode of South Park where they get into it and then the dad, Stan's dad, ends up being like a big Internet troll. And he's just, you know, they're torturing some fucking female athlete and they're trying to get her to kill herself. That's the angle. Jesus Christ. And there's a moment where like he's just so frustrated because people don't understand why he's trolling and he's just like, it's just funny. And as a comedian, you have to I get trolled fucking endlessly, dude. I mean, so much. I really get it a lot online. You know, Legion of Skanks fan base is they we make fun of each other so much that that's almost the language that we speak. So most of the time it's just fans. Most of the time it's people that actually like me. But when you remove yourself from it and they fucking get you with a good zinger, a good funny one, you have to just laugh sometimes. I retweet it. I'll fucking you know, it's it's part of their experience on the Internet is fucking saying mean things sometimes. Yeah. And what we have to pay for being able to legitimately live our dream, right, is sometimes people are going to say mean things about us. And if that's it, that's a fair trade. That's not a bad trade off at all. You know, you know, sometimes they get you with some real truth. They hit you with some truth. You got to look in the mirror. But it also keeps you in check and make sure that you're fucking you're not really turning into a fucking Hollywood asshole. And that's that's the truth. And that could happen. That could happen. It happens a lot. Yeah, it does happen to a lot of people. And it's confusing when it happens to some because you're like, God damn, they got you, bro. Yeah, they got you. Like you used to do that show. You're OK. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of those guys. They just they just want to be safe. They just want to be safe. They want to be comfortable. I want to keep that money flowing in. Yeah. And OK. That seems like a trap. Like it seems like you have to stay that person forever. And if you ever rethink your ideas, now you're in trouble because now you're you're connected to a certain group of people that think a certain way and everybody sort of decides what everybody else thinks about Ukraine or trans kids or the climate. Yeah. Electric vehicles. I want to see people who also just like don't fall in line on one side. Like every way. It's like every even like Covid was the craziest thing. Right. Watching that happen, watching that become politicized. I was like, how is this possible? It's I mean, like it's like at the very least, whether you think it's like real or not, it's not about like a political belief. Right. If you if you if you were afraid of it or if you weren't afraid of it or if you believed in getting the vaccine or didn't, it just became such a politicized thing. And I was like, you're a Nazi. If you don't want to get a vaccine, you're like, how is that possible? How did you jump to Nazi? Whether it's intentional or not, it was like a a psyop was run on America. Whether it's intentional or not, if you're a conspiracy theorist, you think it's intentional. If you're not, you think that the measures that they put in place led people to be isolated in extreme anxiety, which has kind of never really happened before to collectively to mass groups of people. And then and then they're on social media all the time, which is very disconnected from human interaction. And we get to watch them get more isolated from each other and more polarized and also more susceptible to propaganda because a lot of critical thinking people that in the past would have questioned pharmaceutical drug companies all of a sudden were all on board. Crazy. All on board. Crazy. Who's on board with pharmaceutical drug companies? It psyched the data. And like, why don't you trust the science? That was the craziest shit ever. It's just watching people. You're like, like, how are you not at least questioning it? We have a brand new drug we're putting into our body. How are you not saying, hey, you know what? At the very least go, I wonder if that's going to be safe. I wonder if that has been tested. Both safe and effective. Right. Exactly. How are you going to, how are you going to? But it is both safe and effective. Of course. Well, of course. You know what else you said it out about? AZT. Yeah. Back in the AIDS crisis, there's video. See, you can find that video. Fauci talked about AZT being safe and effective. What was the story of AZT? This was not? That's the thing that killed everybody. Oh, really? Yeah. The AZT was a chemotherapy medication that they stopped using for cancer patients. Yeah. It was having a negative outcome on cancer patients. Like it was killing them quicker than cancer was killing them. Wow. And they kept people on that. Yeah. Dude, you got to read or listen. If you listen to audiobooks. Yeah, I listen to audiobooks. Listen to Robert F. Kennedy Jr's, the real Anthony Vow. Does he read it? Because I, dude, Jesus Christ, you fucking crazy. Fuck this dude. I give you nightmares, dude. You know, he believes that injury actually came from flu shots. Oh, because it's a throat injury? Some sort of, it's apparently whatever disease that he has is also a side effect that some people get from some flu shots. Wow. Well, now I feel bad. I thought he said a shitty voice. Now I feel bad that he made fun of this. Yeah, he suspects that that's where it came from because he used to get like yearly flu shots. Yeah. Steve-O, his voice, Jeremiah Watkins just told me this on my podcast the other day. Steve-O, his voice is like that from eating- Vomiting glass? Oh, vomiting. Vomiting so much. From, he was at like parties like, you know, throw up, you know, goldfish and it would puke on each other all the time and it just burned his vocal cords. That's literally the nastiest injury I've ever heard of him in my entire life. He's such a sweet guy. He's the best. I always want him to stop hurting himself. Yeah. When I'm around him, I'm like, stop hurting himself. Yeah, he's literally one of the sweetest, warmest people. There's sometimes you meet, I don't like meeting famous people. It makes me uncomfortable as fuck. Like I'm just, you know, I'm just not, you know, I'm just not built to hang out with famous people, right? Some people are. Shane Gillis loves meeting a fucking famous guy and fucking party with him for a weekend. I was like, that's crazy, dude. He's just partying with Nate Diaz this weekend. Who does that? Nobody just meets him and goes off and does that. But, you know, fucking, oh, shit, I'm sorry. I'm high as fuck. What was I? Who did I bring up? Partying with famous people. Oh, no, Steve-O. Yeah, Steve-O. Steve-O, I mean, just one of the most down to earth people I've ever met when I first met him just couldn't be any more. It's like a normal dude. Yeah, super nice. Yeah. And his wife, they're just super cool. Super nice people. They're just so kind. Easy going. Sweet guy. Sweet guy. Big comedy fan. Fun dude, man. Just fun dude. Fun dude to be around. Always a sweetheart. It's nice when you meet people and they're, you know, they're super famous, but they're also like gen- like Post Malone. It's like genuinely friendly guy. Yeah, you just had him on, right? Sweetheart, if we got. Had him on and then we went and did Kill Tony together. Yeah. I heard that episode. Metzger was on it too, right? Oh my God, it was so fun, dude. Yeah, it was so fun. It was so fun. Fuck David Lucas. David Lucas is so funny. He said he told Post Malone, looks like an unemployed crocodile hunter. I was fucking crying. Shit. Am I hearing a- Is this it? I don't know. Let's hear it. Play it, sir. Yeah. Save and effective, baby. That's the drug that killed everybody. Yeah, it's fucked up. I just know it from the play Rent. Yeah, it's also Dallas Buyers Club. Yeah, that was the whole- that's what he was selling. Yeah, man, that is a- that's a real story. Dude, AIDS was something that I was terrified of. That's the scariest part of that book. The scariest part of that book is the AIDS crisis stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, AIDS was like my generation- I mean, you were already like- you were already like banging. You're a little bit older than me. So like- Well, when I was a kid, I remember when Magic Johnson got it, I was in my car on the road driving. Was it like 89 or something? When you- what year was that? 90? I think it was a little later than that. Was it? I think it was maybe- When did Magic Johnson- 92, I want to say. Was it? Maybe 91, hold on. Yeah, because I remember it well and I was born- so when I was seven, I just wouldn't have been that connected with- I was maybe like 10 or 11 when- 91. 91. Okay, so I think I was still living in Boston at the time. And I remember- yeah, definitely, because I remember driving down the road and I remember that feeling like, oh my God, everyone's going to get AIDS. That's what I thought. Everyone's going to get AIDS. That's it. If Magic can get it. And then I had to get insurance. I got to get health insurance. So I had to get a blood test for AIDS. And I remember just panicking, panicking. My first AIDS test, I fucking cried. I had had sex with one person. I mean, I was a guy with AIDS, but- No, I lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I got an AIDS test after that. I was like, that's it. To this day, I have really bad anxiety by going to the doctor. Like I said, I'm terrified I'm going to get cancer one day. And dude, AIDS was such a fucking thing that they were like, they were like, you're going to probably get AIDS, kids. In health class, they would come in and talk about it. Like it's- Yeah, people were terrified. Yeah. Everyone was terrified. There was that made for TV movie about the kid. They got- The Ryan White story. Yeah, the Ryan White story. And that was another thing. It was like, don't become blood brothers with your friends. Oh, God. That's how you got AIDS? No, no, no. There was a scene in the movie, which I don't know if maybe they dramatized it, but they go to become blood brothers. They all want to do it. And he was responsible and was like, no, I can't. I'll tell you guys why I have AIDS. Oh. And then they went back and told their parents and the parents were like, get this fucking AIDS kid out of school. Jesus Christ. I don't know how much of that's actually true, but I believe that's what I remember from the made for TV movie. And it was like, the story was that children, normal just fucking regular children could get AIDS. And I know it happened. He got it from a blood transfusion, I believe. But yeah, dude, it was a real, like, just genuine fear that they put into us. That was genuinely just stupid. None of us were going to get AIDS unless you were using needles or having, you know, but sex with you. Do you remember the wildest thing that people were doing? There were bug catchers. Yeah, they were trying to get AIDS. There was good shit. You were running around trying to get it. Yeah, dude. What? That's some deviant shit, dude. That's some fucking... That's some deviant shit. That is some dark shit. We're all on whatever spectrum of devious, you know, we're all on the spectrum to a certain degree. Whatever deviant shit you like. You like, you know, when you're in the bedroom, we all do our own shit. And we all like our shit. And, you know, I understand that just from that perspective. That's just somebody who's like, I want to fucking live on the edge. But sometimes I like to get tied up. Or maybe it's not even they want to get AIDS. I bet it's the fear of, are they going to get AIDS? It's like, I like the fucking public sometimes, right? I don't want to be seen fucking in public. I like the fear that somebody might catch us. Right. Right. Bad boy. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. My dick's getting hard right now, Jeff. I'm talking about it. Let's go. No, yeah. But I think that that is just like a, just another level of fucking deviousness that they're like... That's a crazy wish to get a deadly disease. Yeah. Unless you don't believe in it. But I wonder how much of that was... There's probably very few people. It's probably like three dudes. Yeah, it's probably not super popular. But if you get on social media and you're a bug chaser, I bet you get a lot of hits. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. If you're a bug chaser... If you're a bug chaser... Oh, dude. This guy's with AIDS. Like, finally. Finally. I don't have to have this weird conversation. That's fucking wild, dude. Imagine having AIDS. Oh my God, that would suck. I just can't... They say, oh yeah, you can live with it forever now. You just take... It's undetectable. Do you still have to tell everyone you have AIDS? That sucks. Yeah, it's undetectable. Can you give it to people when it's undetectable? I don't think so. I think if you're taking PrEP and it's undetectable, if it'll test you for it and you can't transfer it, that's what they say. That's what they say. That's what they say. It's not comforting for someone who might give you AIDS. I had a guy on early, early in the podcast. His name's Dr. Peter Duesberg. He's a professor of biology from the University of California. A Duesberg? Yeah. Do you know who he is? No. Tha... He believes that what was going on with their immune systems was mostly caused by partying. He said, if you look at all these guys who are having this disease, these guys are all engaging in group sex. They're all taking methamphetamines. They're taking amyl nitrate. Ecstasy. Poppers. Yeah. They're doing all these wild party drugs. These guys that specifically are getting very sick are also doing these wild party drugs. And he's saying he thinks the wild party drugs is killing them. Right. And then introducing AZT kills them more. Right. And it's a crazy position to take because I think he lost his funding. This is also in the real Anthony Fauci book. He lost funding. He's a professor. He's a tenured professor, but he can't get funding for anything. Like everybody sort of shuns him. And he did like legitimate work in cancer. So he's a legitimate biologist. For him to believe that... He believed that the reason why HIV existed in these people that had AIDS is that HIV is a weak drug, a weak virus rather, and it exists in a person who's got an immune compromised system and that a normal person would just fight it off. That it's not a strong virus. But what was going on... That you wouldn't even catch it? He was saying it was not a symptom. That having HIV, his belief... I'm fucking this up, I'm sure. But I think it was that having HIV didn't mean that that was what was giving you the compromised immune system. But the fact that your immune system was compromised was probably why you had HIV. And that even in babies that test HIV positive when they're young, a lot of times they're HIV negative later. Find out if that's true. But it was a weird conversation because I'm like, how could this one guy be right? How could this one guy be saying this and I not really qualified to dispute it? I don't know what the fuck is right or wrong. I'm just trying to figure out which person's telling the truth. And when you talk to him, you're like, he's a very intelligent guy. What does it say here? If the virus did not infect the baby, the baby will eventually lose its mother's antibodies and test negative for HIV. A baby born to an HIV positive mother will thus always test positive for HIV. Whether that newborn baby is truly seropositive or not. So it says again, if the virus did not infect the baby, the baby will eventually lose its mother's antibodies and test negative for HIV. So it's HIV negative. So the baby that tests positive for HIV then tests negative later. I don't know if he's right. It doesn't make sense that he's right. All these other virologists, all these other people that have different opinions. It doesn't. Well, I think just being healthy just in general, you know, my assumption is that's why Magic Johnson, everyone's like, oh, he, you know, obviously him having money for good drugs helps. He's a professional athlete. I'm assuming he just was super fucking healthy. He listened to his doctors. He wasn't out there and doing drugs and partying. How did he get it? Was it ever disclosed how he got HIV? I don't know. He said they're heterosexual sex and he didn't know which partner. Right. You'd be the only guy ever. Like, what do you consider heterosexual sex? Like, what's normal? You guys becoming blood brothers? What are you doing out there, bro? What are you doing where you're the one guy who gets it from heterosexual sex? I remember there was an episode of Penn and Teller's bullshit, which was a great show on Showtime back in the day. Fucking great show, like way ahead of its time before, like, there was a lot of podcasts out there before. It was just a fucking really good show and they were just kind of dispel bullshit in each episode and they talked about AIDS and they just went over the numbers of how unlikely you were to get AIDS if you had sex even with an HIV positive woman because of how much it exists, you know, I guess with invaginal fluid. And I was like, oh, really? The whole fucking time? It was crazy. And then I remember we ended up watching the movie Kids after that. You remember the movie Kids? Harmony Corrine movie? Yes. And the whole point of that movie is that fucking, you know, the girl gets AIDS and she's trying to find the guy that gave her AIDS throughout the whole movie. They said normal sex, right? Yeah. So in my mind, I'm going like, all right, the whole plot of the movie doesn't make fucking sense probably to begin with. But then the very last scene of the movie, the big ending is spoiler alert, one of the other guys that is in the movie ends up date raping the girl with AIDS. She's like passed out on drugs on the couch and he's like... And then he gets AIDS. Well, yeah. But that's the big like, dun dun, now he has AIDS. Right. You assume. But after that, I'm like, he probably didn't get AIDS. He probably just got away with it. We thought you'd get AIDS if you just like kiss somebody back then. Yeah, dude. I was terrified. Dude, I made out with a girl from South Africa when I was like 20. And I remember, and she was white, and I was like, dude, Africa, they have like huge AIDS. I remember being like, dude, this is it. I got AIDS. Her teeth were probably bleeding. Yeah. The Africa AIDS thing is crazy. Like how did that... There's certain countries where it's literally like a third of the population. That have AIDS? Yeah. And in those countries, how many of them are in severe poverty? Oh, I'm assuming all of them. Right. So then they're also severely malnourished. That's always the case. I wonder how many of those people they actually test for HIV. I wonder how many of those people they declare AIDS because their immune system is severely compromised. I wonder what the number is. Yeah. Because you got to imagine that a lot of those people that have acquired immune deficiency syndrome, if you have like a serious, obvious culprit, like no food, tainted water, like terrible living conditions, dirt floors, that's going to fuck your immune system up too. Everything's going to fuck your immune system up too. You're starving. Yeah. You know, it's just diseases are fucking horrifying. It's just horrifying to think that there's a thing that could just take out giant swaths of the population and they know we're horrified of it. Oh yeah. That's what sucks. Yeah. They're kicking up some more dust about another COVID now. There's certain things that have gotten closed down. What sucks is they know, now they know we'll jump. You think people will? I think a lot more people are going to be way less willing to sit inside, not go to work. There's a cult that emerged, the branch COVIDians, everybody knows it. There's a bunch of people that are out there that are in a fucking COVID cult, whether they realize it or not, it's a segment of, it's not even necessarily left wing. There's some right wing people that are part of this, but these fucking people, they committed to it. They got it. They told other people to get it. And because they did that, they're never going to see the light. Yeah. They're just not going to. And they're lining up to get boosted now. That's crazy. It's wild. Dude, I didn't really live like the pandemic was happening. I still did comedy. I was on flights where it was me and three other people during it. Anywhere I could go, I went on vacation a few times, I went to Jamaica, I would just take a COVID test to fly, then I had to take a COVID test to fly back. I just didn't want it to affect my family like that. That's why we moved out to Jersey, dude. Jersey, it was like night and day difference. And Jersey is a blue state, but I mean, I don't even think it is. I have no idea how it's a blue state because there's so many American flags on front lawns in New Jersey, everywhere, all over New Jersey. Well, it came that close to going Republican. Yeah, I bet it did. It was like down to the wire. Yeah, I bet it's a close one. But yeah, I mean, I just wanted to just fucking have some space. The city was so locked down and so like- You just got to learn how to drive. It's almost cheaper to just take Ubers now at this point. Is it really? Yeah. Well, not- Oh, with parking and everything? Yeah, with parking, with insurance, yeah, especially your insurance. Yeah. Yeah, but if you want to do a road gig, Jersey always had great road gigs, fun road gigs. Yeah. There's always a lot of them. Yeah, Jersey's got a bunch of cool places. Yeah, there's always like when I was there in the 90s, when I was coming up, there was always places you get headlines, weird spots. Yeah. Down the shore. Because it was a branch of New York City. There's so many great comics right there that rooms just start popping up all over the place. Yeah, especially during the summer. Oh yeah, down- Yeah, there's a place- Uncle Vinny's down the shore. Now, it's a little fucking- I mean, dude, it's hilarious. It's a little shitty comedy, but it's awesome. Dino's the fucking man. Shout out to Uncle Vinny's. Go support that place. But it's just like a little road spot. You go down the shore, you try- He books me every fucking- How about you book me in the summertime, Dickhead, instead of February, when it sucks. But yeah, there's a bunch of places that are just like that, that are just easy to get to. Back in the day, you just wanted the work, because spots in the city, when I started, were fucking 50 bucks on the weekends, 20 bucks on the weeknights. There was just no way to sustain a living. You have to go take road gigs, 500 bucks, 600 bucks. But I was a little bit- I'm lucky, because when I really started headlining, we already had the podcasts, we already had a little bit of an audience. So I didn't have to do those really shitty gigs where you gotta go perform for people who don't know you, don't want to see you. Which exists in cities. When you go to a city like New York, not for you, but for most comics, the audience is just there for the show that night. They're not there for any particular comedian. And I think you get a real gauge as to what's good with those types of audiences. You definitely do. You have a lot of different places where you could work in New York, and in Jersey, and everywhere. There's all these different- Having all those different looks, it's very important. Those late night shows, when everyone's tired, those are important too. You get to see the bullshit in your act. Late night, crowds, 30 people there. How do you do that now? How do you see the bullshit in your act? Because you're so fucking famous, you have your own club. There's gotta be something, right? There's gotta be like- Because they're gonna hang on every word you say, right? And they're gonna fuck- When's the last time you didn't crush? You still are trying new shit. You're still gonna fucking paint yourself into dark alleys. Yeah. If you try new shit, you're gonna paint yourself into a dark alley. But your comfort level's different. I'm better at getting out of those. But if you're writing new stuff and you're fucking around with it on stage, which is really how you have to kind of do it. I always have a general idea of what I think is funny about something. And then when I bring it on stage, I'm like, but what the fuck is- Why are we doing it that way? And then I can sort of expand on it with all these points that I have, but I kind of piece it together on stage. Yeah, you gotta put it together on stage. Sometimes it sucks. Well, some guys just write the jokes down, and then they go and tell them on stage like that. And that's crazy. I know comics that just write, and they write their stand up in their cadence, and then they go on stage and tell it. And I'm like, every time I tell a joke, it starts off with some dumb idea where I'm like, it's just a little kernel, maybe one or two punch lines. And then I try to build it out from there. Or maybe I have a couple of jokes about a similar topic, and you try to put it together and make it like a chunk. But it always has to be worked out with the reaction of the audience. And that's why it's really important for them to be there. And those late night shows, we used to do check spots in New York City. Have you ever done a check spot? Yes. It would drop fucking checks. I mean, you do it as a headliner. Most clubs still have, they still drop the checks on the headliners, which is a terrible way to do it. Well, the check spot is someone who comes out specifically to do stand up while the checks are getting dropped. So you get like 10 minutes set? Yeah, like 10 minutes. And literally, you're just people are pissed off. They're paying way too much for drinks. People are going to the bathroom for not paying attention. They're trying to get their waiter's attention. And you have to dig yourself out of that hole. Dan Soder was the check spot guy at stand up New York when I met him. He was the guy, like every check spot on the weekends. And it fucking turned him into a killer. It turned him into a real killer dude. It was such a tough spot. But it made you really good at just being in that moment. And you're just not nervous anymore because it's the shittiest spot possible. But yeah, I think those things are good to have for young comedians need that. They need shitty rooms. They need reps. That's fucking an important part of having a lot of clubs around too. You got a lot of places to do stuff like that. Yeah. Well, that's why Austin's great now for comedy is because you guys legitimately just created a scene. Like out of nowhere. I mean, there was a scene here. There was actually a good comedy scene before these clubs actually started opening up. But now it's legitimately like five or six real clubs. And then there's like 15 or 20 rooms. It's like New York was in the 90s. That's like a really good place to develop. Yeah, it's fun. And then there's Cap City at the domain where a lot of guys are coming in and doing that for the weekends. I still haven't been. Have you been? No, I do the creek. I want to just see it. Yeah. I've never been here at school. I know that area. I was just in that area. Yeah. Yeah. Austin's amazing. It's just fucking hottest balls, dude. I don't understand how you guys do this shit. It's fucking it's 100 degrees every day. And it's September. Yep. There's a I don't even somebody told me this the other day. It's a great death metal band name. I don't know the band, but the band's name is Texas in July, which is such a brutal fucking name for a band. That is a brutal name for a band. Yeah, like Scorpion dick. Yeah. Yeah, it's hot as fuck here, but I like it. It doesn't bother me. Well, if you're in shape, it's like, when I'm in shape, I like it being a little hot. You get a little sweaty. You're like, oh, it's fucking great. It feels healthy, you know? But when you're fat, dude, it just sucks. Dick. That makes sense. You see fat people here like, what is wrong? You just move, leave. Well, they have so much insulation too. If you're a really large person and you're just like thick with fat, like fat in your arms, fat everywhere. That's like you and I wearing like large coats, like thick, heavy coats everywhere you go. Like that's got to be a lot of insulation. Yeah. All that body fat and then you're out in the heat cooking like a brisket. Brutal, dude. When my son's mother was pregnant, I weighed 320 pounds. Jesus. I got big. Jesus. I just ate the whole fucking time. Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And dude, being fat in New York City in the summertime is a nightmare. Walking up and down the subway stairs. I mean, it's just, it's really... How did you pull yourself out of that? Just died an exercise. You know, I've done it before. I was 320 to 330 pounds in college. And then I started just sort of working out when I was like 26, 27. So when you were really young, you did it. You got that big. Yeah. When I was 19, I was like 330. How did you get that big at night? Sort of smoking weed when I was like 17. Just eating everything. Dude, it was... We just fucking... When you're broke, you have $10, right? Let's say you get together with four of your friends. We have $10 each. We come together with $40. $20 for a bag of weed and $20 to feed us. It's not like we got a pizza. We went and got like bags of chips and fucking candy bars. And like, we just... We just... It was that summer. That first summer I started smoking weed. I blew the fuck up. But it was the... Dude, it was so great. I loved it so much. Dude, I was straight edge. I was like... It was a point of pride that I had never done a drug. And I was like, no, I'm not into drugs. It's not cool. And then one day me and my friends just decided that we were going to go smoke weed. Me and my buddy Dave Green and my buddy James Meakin were like, we're just going to do it. Let's just try it. We're about to graduate high school. Let's get stoned. And we were going to see Snowcore 2000. System of a Down, Incubus, Puyah, and Mr. Bungle. It was a big metal show. And System of a Down was like my favorite band at the time. And we ended up just getting super stoned in my elementary school parking lot. And then going to that concert that night and seeing our favorite bands just high for the first time. It was just the perfect... Dude, I laughed so fucking hard the first time I got high. And I just fell in love with it. It was just this thing. I was connected with it. I just never stopped really smoking since then. There's been a couple times where I've taken breaks. But it was like fucking... I loved it. I really loved it. I think it hits everybody different. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. It hits everybody's mind, everybody's body different. Some people, it's just not for them. And I get it. But the fact that it's illegal just drives me crazy. It's so stupid. It wasn't... Didn't the Biden administration consider bringing it down to instead of a schedule one, they were talking about making it a schedule three. How many states are... Is it legal in at this point? Because I feel like it's legal almost everywhere I go. It's legal most states now. Yeah. Like recreational. I think it's like more than 30. Jersey and New York are both recreationally legal. How many states is it legal in now? I'll be asking Jamie for multiple Googles at the same time. Welcome to being a podcast producer. 23 states include also DC, Guam, and the Northern Mariana Islands. Nice. That's recreational? That's recreational. So that's 26 total for recreational. And then medicinal. How many for that? Because that shit's easy to get a card. Hey California, they just can't wait to give you a card. I got one in Jamaica because they... Now it's... 40. I'm sorry? 40. He's up to 40. 40. Brings up to 40. So 40 states where marijuana is at least in some form legal. Yeah. And then four more have CBD also with a little bit of THC. Texas has that 0.3% thing you can do. Yeah. Most places have that. Which is... That's just another scam because that shit doesn't work. I got that in Italy last year and fucking just smoking. It was like I was smoking CBD joints. Really? Yeah, just did not. Didn't do the same thing. Interesting. But yeah, in Jamaica when I went, they made it... I've been to Jamaica like 10 times. I love Jamaica. I'm trash. I'm a fucking trash bag. Jamaica's great. It's the best. I love it. I go every year. I really do. The water's so gorgeous. Oh, it's amazing. I do a family. We either bring my company, my podcast network. We have like 15 producers. So we rent a couple villas on the beach and we just fucking party the whole time. Or I do with my family. I'll pick one or the other. And they just made it legal, I'd say maybe five years ago. Before that, you had to go buy it on the beach. You just find a guy and it was like, no, you could get weed very easily. Right. But it was really shitty like dirt weed. But it was Jamaica. So it just fucking ruled. It didn't matter that it wasn't good quality weed. You just smoke a big fat joint of it on the beach and that was that. But they made it legal. And first it was medicinally legal a few years ago and they have a smoke shop that I went to and they call a doctor. They just call some Jamaican dude and you get on the phone with him and it's like, hey, what's wrong with Jaman? What'd it be hurting? And I'm like, my head? He's like, you need weed. And then they just fucking put him on the phone. So now I have a medicinal license in Jamaica. Anytime I go, I'm in the entire national. Amazing. Yeah, it rules. That's amazing. But now it's recreationally legal. So you don't have to do that anymore. How could it not be recreationally legal in Jamaica? But now the weed's great in Jamaica. I'm sure. Dude, it's awesome. The climate there is perfect. And now you can get mushrooms at the smoke shops. We had mushroom chocolates. It was fucking go Jamaica. Dude, the best. I love it. People make fun of me all the time for going to Jamaica, but I fucking love it. Amen. Anthony Bourdain loved that spot. Yeah. Jamaica's the shit. Yeah. I just love the fact that you can still like when when they took travel away and they were limiting travel to people who were vaccinated in certain places, you had to be vaccinated. It was just like, it's why I got the vaccine. It made you realize like how much that's important to just be able to go somewhere. How nice that is. It's literally the only thing that I spend my money on. I take my son on a father-son trip every year. We do a family trip. We do a company trip. I do a romantic vacation with my girlfriend. And I'm not rich by any means. But I have this, whatever, dude, I just have this weird fear that I'm going to die when I'm young. And I think creating experiences with my family and my son, the most important thing. He'll never lose those experiences. I can get hit by a fucking bus tomorrow. And, you know, yes, I should save more money and I should be fucking more responsible with it. But I feel like I didn't have any of those. Like, dude, I went to the Jersey Shore a couple times when I was a kid. Like, I never went on vacation. And I think like, yeah, dude, I just wanted to have those fucking memories. That's awesome. That's a beautiful perspective, man. That's super healthy. Thanks. Awesome. Beautiful. Nobody's ever called me healthy. They did ask me. That's healthy, dude. That is healthy. Well, they did ask for it to be rescheduled. It's the third part of the three-step process he asked to have happen. First step was the federal expungement. You know, they let people out, even though there wasn't any in federal prison. Yeah. Well, that was the crazy thing. But we're going to let out everybody who's in federal prison for pot. Nobody. Zero people. Everybody was like, what the fuck are you talking about? The second is the states are asked to do the same thing, but they're not being forced to. I mean, if you're in federal prison for pot, it's because you're selling pounds and pounds of marijuana. Right. At one point, you have to say, oh, you can't do that. Right. It's not for possession. You're not a possession. Okay, for possession. That didn't he say for possession? Yeah, that's safe for possession. Yeah. He's selling it for possession. What if you're possessing in federal prison? They'll get you for distribution. If you have 50 pounds of pot, your fucking warehouse, they're going to get you for distribution. You're not smoking 50 pounds of pot, bro. What do they allow you? They allow you like five grams. How many? Depends. It's up to two ounces in some place. Two ounces. You could fly with up to an ounce. That's a lot of weed. Yeah, state to state. As long as it's legal in the states you're flying to and from. Wow. And I've been flying with weed for years before. Ari Shafir, I was like, why do you fly with weed? He was like, oh yeah, you just take a bag. He was like, you take it, you put it in a bag. So you take that bag, you put it in your suitcase, and then you fly. I was like, oh, that's it? He's like, yeah, just fly with it. And then I was like, really? And then I read on a Reddit thread that they did an AMA with a TSA employee, and they were just talking about flying with weed. And if they were like, oh, what do you do if you catch somebody with weed? They were like, we've been instructed specifically to just throw it away. They can't hold up the entire fucking airport every time they find a little bit of weed. Right. So yeah, I used to just put it in a sock, because the way it would show up on the 3D scanners is organic material, so it would be the same color as your socks. So I used to just put it in my sock. But yeah, now I just fucking put it right in my suitcase. TSA pull it out, they look at it, they compliment the quality. That's hilarious. Yeah, when, where were we in Nashville? Did Nashville have the fucking truck or was it New Orleans? It was Nashville, right? Where there's like weed trucks, like, you know, you get a like a taco truck. Yeah. There were weed trucks. They're all over New York. Are they really? All over New York. And before they drive around, just park places, they ring the bell. They got busted once, because as soon as they made it recreational legal, all these fucking Puerto Ricans were like, we're gonna have weed trucks. This wasn't part of the process of legalizing weed, but they were like, we're just gonna do it. So they had like, one day the cops were just like, what are we doing about these weed trucks? And they busted like 16 trucks in a day. And they're like, I don't even think they arrested the guys. They just literally confiscated everything and they held it as like evidence and like, but I think all those guys made like a ton. It was like a smash and grab. They made a ton of money very quickly. But if you could sell weed, why can't you sell weed out of a truck? You know, because they operated truck, not licensed there. Right now in New York, I think there's like four or five legal weed dispensaries, but there's like 200 illegal weed dispensaries. But because it's falling into this gray area, I think the cops just don't really, they just sort of turn a blind eye. And it's just sort of a waste of everyone's time. But yeah, I believe there's not that many, but every other corner, there's a place where you can buy weed. Interesting. Yeah, so they're probably not giving out those licenses. That's probably why. You probably don't want people just pulling over in trucks. The weed bodegas have no fear. It's illegal to sell without a license. Not that this hasn't stopped 1500 stores and counting. 1500 stores. So here's what's going to happen. What does that mean? It stopped 1500 stores? It has not. Has not stopped. So they're going to just bust one day. They're going to just whatever the law is just taking too long to move. Right. So people just sell on it. They're just selling it. But these stores are all just going to be busted one day. They're going to do a sweep and they're going to confiscate everything. Yeah. But why? That's the thing. It's like why are you making it hard to get a license? Well, it's expensive probably. Why are you making it so expensive to get a license? Maybe you would have more money if you charged a reasonable amount and you actually went and got it from these people. These people operate. Then again, New York is like that. There's a lot of people that are going to operate under the wire. And even if it was $5 for a license, like, fuck you. Well, I buy it on the black market, though, because it's a lot cheaper. So if I buy Dab's, like, you know, some sort of distillate, it's like 90 bucks a gram at a dispensary. Whereas I get like 20 bucks a gram from my dude. Does your dude know who's growing it? No. This is where it gets weird. I had this guy on John Norris and he was a game warden in California. And they started finding these grow ops out in the forest land. You know, it's supposed to be public land. And they'd find cartel grow ops out there with like toxic chemicals and all kinds of shit. And they're using crazy like pesticides and fertilizers and like stuff that like no one else uses. He details it. He's got this book called Hidden Wars. And so they became like a tactical unit. They had dogs and everything because all of a sudden they're in like shootouts with cartel members in the forest. It's wild. It's a wild book. But the point is, like you said, 90% of all the illegal weed in the country, 90% of it is coming from these grow ops from the cartels. And he goes, and you could be getting shit with all kinds of like toxic stuff on it. All right, Joe. Thanks. Another fear. I appreciate that. Well, it's like just unlocking fear after fear of me today. Gas station sushi. You might be all right. You might be all right. But I mean, you might want that frozen burrito. Yeah. I mean, look, most of the time now it always comes packaged. This is from a dude. You know what I'm saying? But it's like... Yeah, but where does that dude live? And how do you know it's from a dude? Do you don't think that the cartel can make labels in English? Oh, no, no, no. Of course. No, I'm saying he probably gets it from the cartel. But he packages it really nicely. So I think it's cool. You see? White gummies. It is pretty wild if that number is correct. It's like 90% of the places where weed is illegal. They're getting it from there. Yeah. Yeah. It's always like they're doing a thing as well where like now I know in certain places like California they can't package it in a way where it looks like candy or they can't shape it in a certain way, right? Right. There's nothing with Mike Tyson's gummies. He couldn't sell them in certain places because they were shaped like ears and you can't have them shaped as like characters or things in certain jurisdictions. Because people would think it's candy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fear of mine too. It's like my kid just finds a fucking weed gummy one day and eats it. Like, what would you do? I would have to literally bribe him to never tell his mother. Babysit him until he comes down for him and say, what'd you learn? Are you ever kids like taking acid by accident sometimes? You're like, dude, that would fucking destroy a kid. Dude, we were looking at like old uses of medicine. And I had Peter Berg on from the... He's the guy who created that painkiller series on Netflix. And we were talking about like, they used to give little kids heroin. Heroin was like medicine for like kids. They'd like rub it in babies' mouths. They'd rub morphine in their mouths. Yeah, cocaine too. Cocaine, right? They'd give people cocaine. Yeah. Gummy a baby with cocaine. Just give it to kids. Your kid won't shut the fuck up. Give it heroin. And your kid just lay in there in bed. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I mean, what the fuck? They gave people heroin when they were babies. That's wild. Yeah. But like a child wouldn't understand what acid was. Like if they accidentally took acid, like a seven-year-old kid, a six-year-old kid, dude. Right. They would think they were insane. They... I mean, what... It would be the scariest thing in the world for them. It would affect them for the rest of their life. There's no coming back from that. Well, they could come back from it, but it's not going to be easy. It's going to... I mean, a massive disruption as you're growing up. You're a kid and you're learning about life. The borderline, like, psychotic episode. From your perspective, you don't even understand what a drug is. Right. You have no idea what an acid is. There's no frame of reference. Like, the first time I did acid, I was scared, but I knew that I was about to be on a fucking journey. You know what I'm saying? That was the idea. When you're a kid and it comes out of nowhere, you accidentally take it, and then it's just, you're just in this state. Yeah. And then, you know, now you know that it's possible. So you're always going to have this anxiety that at one point in time, you might slip back into it. That was the thing that I'd always heard about acid too, that scared me when I was a kid. Flashbacks. Yeah, flashbacks. And they would tell you, they would tell you, it's bro, it stays in your fat. Yeah. The acid stays in your fat, man. And then one day, you're just fucking driving down the road, and the road becomes teardrops. I'm like, why? Yeah, man, you have a flashback. People die that way. I was like, it was like always the thing. If you take acid, maybe you'll never come back. Yeah. I think I took so much acid one time. The most acid I ever took when I was 19 years old, maybe 18. Me and my buddy Dan Doherty, we got a medicine dropper, this fucking hippie kid, this fucking real big known hippie in my town. He's like, dude, I got acid. And when hallucinogens came to town in New York, where I was at, Rockland County, New York, when hallucinogens came around in the early 2000s, late 90s, you got them. Because they only came around once in a while. They'd be like a fucking hippie festival upstate, and people would bring strips of acid down, or they would have mushrooms. But it was so rare. So when you would hear about somebody having it, you'd fucking drive. We used to drive from Rockland County, which is right outside of New York City, we used to drive up to Albany, because there was a guy that would get it up there. And we would fucking pick it up when he had it, and he had it like twice a year. But this kid was like, dude, I have liquid acid in an eye dropper. We're like, oh, no way, dude. Let's do it. He was like, $3 a hit, which is super cheap. And then my buddy Dan, I remember he did like two drops, and I was like, oh, sweet dude. He was like, all right, let me do another one. And then he went, and I know I did too. And then he was like, I want to do another one. Then he went and squirted it. And I went, holy shit, dude. I was like, well, I can't let you do that by yourself. And I went, oh my god. We gave it back to the guy, and he looked how much was left in it. He was like, dude, he was like, don't pay me. He was like, you didn't get this from me. And then he just walked away from us. And then within 10 minutes, dude, 10 within 10, as it takes like 45 minutes to come on, 10 minutes, I'm talking about on another planet, dude. Another fucking planet just within five minutes of that, I lose Dan. Dan's running down the street like a lunatic. When you say another planet, what are you experiencing? Just extreme. I don't even remember most of the trip, but I remember I saw a friend, and they got him their car, and the lights from the car, it was like it was on a spaceship, dude. It was just like the music. And I mean, it was just like the hardest I've ever tripped by far. And it's everything, like the visuals, the sounds, the feeling, but such intense, such an intense trip, like scary, it started becoming really scary, started going down the road where everything is everything. That was my conclusion was like that life is death, and death is life, and sound is the same thing as a fucking table. Just being a fucking lunatic. And I remember like starting to think, it kept on coming into my head to kill myself, because I wanted, doesn't experience that I can only experience once. It was like just really scary fucking thoughts. And I tripped for two full days, 48 hours straight, didn't sleep, just kept on tripping. Then I finally fell asleep, and then the next morning I woke up, and it was like I had taken a hit of acid the next morning. But it was normal enough that I was like, so really for like three days I tripped. And when you were tripping, what did the world look like? Like, there was just like the world, I mean, it's a great question. It's a really great question. I'm trying to remember what my perspective was and how the world looked. I remember being at a Dunkin Donuts, and just sitting there at the table, and just fucking thinking about numbers a lot, and just fucking... Numbers. Yeah, and everything was just fucking brighter. It wasn't, dude, it wasn't pleasurable at all. It wasn't like... How were you thinking about numbers? I don't know. I don't know. I was just... The numbers were just like coming into my head, and I was just repeating like fake math equations that weren't real. I didn't know they were. Maybe they were real. I know where you're going. What if you wrote those bitches down? What if you wrote those bitches down, and someone like Eric Weinstein would look at them and go, whole... What are you doing here? Where did you learn this? Oh my god, this is a solution. Then they run over to one of those fucking goodwill hunting chalkboards. I figured it all out. Imagine? Imagine if that's what ideas are when you're tripping. What if you're catching an alien life form in the... It comes in the form of an idea. I've thought about this a lot. I know it's a stupid premise, but everything that people have made ever has come from ideas, and everything that people are making, including artificial intelligence, including robots, all that shit, spaceships, came from ideas. Then all of a sudden, it's a thing. Then people love to do that. They fucking love to do that. I just feels like where this is going, it's so clear that we're making robots that are going to take over. How clear is it? When you see chat GPT, when you see it answer questions and shit, well, chat GPT now is the IQ of 155. But a chat GPT-5 is going to have an IQ of 1,000. What is chat GPT-5's IQ? It's going to be something ridiculous. Well, now it's going to start manipulating it for funsies. I would like to think that that is just a crazy conspiracy theory, but people who really know that really are in the know are like, no, no, no, this is going to happen. It's on its way, kids. You're going to have a robot overlord. Why would we have a human president? Look at the last human president we had. He's getting tripped by ghosts. We need a robot overlord. I'll tell you this much. What if the election runs chaos, right? Chaos. There's the fucking, the Biden camp claims that they won, the Trump camp claims that they won, and there's fucking holdouts in the Senate, and there's fucking chaos in the streets, and rocks are flying, and at the same time, artificial intelligence reaches a solution. That instead of human beings with their fragile emotions and egos, why don't we govern with logic and intelligence based on all the known facts in a way that's beneficial to everyone, both robots and people. Let us run things. Relax. We need to stop all the wars. We can stop all nuclear bombs from ever being deployed. We also can go and disarm all these countries. Or we can arm every nuke right now and fucking point it at all the humans. That's the big fear, right? Is that they'd fucking... No. The big fear is it would be really simple to kill off the human race. All they would have to do ethically is stop us from having babies. That's it. So poison the food supply, give them microplastics so the dicks shrink and the females have more miscarriages, and then slowly get them to this weakened state where they don't have any hormones. Where there are no men, there are no women. Yes, exactly. There's just a lot of they-them, a whole society of people that don't... That's another... You hear women flex about not having kids. That's a big thing that happens on TikTok and the internet. If the robots did that, we would just never have kids, and that would be it. We would die off. We would die off in a couple hundred years. It wouldn't take long at all. No, not even a couple hundred years. A hundred years. Well, there would be people that were still alive that probably had kids and those kids had to die. It wouldn't be as simple as everybody who's alive. If they're going to do that, what they're going to do is they're going to make all the kids sterile. They're going to give you enough of these micropl- If I'm just say, if I'm plotting, if I'm artificial intelligence, I'm going to use all these contaminants. I'm going to make them readily available and cheaper than natural uses, like things like pesticides and herbicides and shit like that. These fucking things that get into the water and ruin everything. I'm going to make sure that these people figure that out, make sure that that's cheaper. So if it's cheaper, they're going to use that. And so that'll fuck them up. And then make sure they start using plastic for things. That'll fuck them up. And then slowly but surely, as it becomes alive and sentient, you deal with this like, just demoralized version of the human species. Just this weakened state, sedentary, staring at screens all day, version of the human species, which is way easier to just take over in a wave. And then those people never have kids. No one else has kids. And within 150 years or so, no more people. That's it. That's it. We're dead. And then the robots are here. No more people. It's probably a better society. If population collapse, it doesn't scare people because everybody's worried about population increase. Everyone's worried about overpopulation, which they should be. If you go to a place that's overpopulated, it looks like it sucks. Yeah. But population collapse is real too. It can't happen. It's kind of happening in Japan, I believe. I think it's happening in different parts of the world where they're really concerned because young people aren't having kids in a way that could replicate society right now with older people. Yeah. You hear a lot more young people talking about not wanting to have kids. And it's the fucking greatest thing ever. It's the best thing you'll ever experience in the fucking world. So I just, I mean, I'm not even hating on somebody who doesn't have kids. I get like, you know, but to not have kids and to be like, yeah, I'm proud. I have my freedom. Like, dude, your freedom is, it just doesn't compare to watching my kid win a jujitsu tournament. Does not compare to the freedom to go to the movies by myself or get drunk on a Wednesday night. Right. Period. There's nothing in comparison. So. Yeah, it's one of those things that unless you're experiencing, it just always sounds like you're preaching to people. Yeah. It's weird. I mean, I remember when friends of mine, when I was younger, would think about having kids and everybody was like, wow, if you think one day you're going to have kids and then it's like, then you think like, oh, then your life is kind of like, now you're like, settle down and it's boring. Yeah. You're just, oh, you're just a guy with kids. Like what people don't understand is like when people go home to their kids, a lot of times because they prefer being with their kids. The other kids. It's actually fun. It's awesome. It's really fun, dude. They look up to you. It's like, they're cool too. And if you raise them cool and you're cool, they're nice people. It's nice to be around nice people that you love dearly. Yeah. Yeah. And the idea of like, you know, because I was probably one of those people be like, all right, yeah, you have a kid. Life becomes boring. You know, it's just a different. Oh, I thought that when I was a kid. Life becomes different. You know what I'm saying? In a very different way. Before you have kids, it's not like, oh my God, like, just go do it. Not a 20 year old kid shouldn't be having a kid. Go experience life a little bit. You know? Right. But I think that, you know, I think we're about 30. I think 30 is a good age to have a kid. You're more in line with when you have children. You're more concerned about the future. That's for sure. Oh, for sure. For sure. You're more like, there's a lot of people that like, anarchist mindset, like, fuck it all, man. Burn it to the ground. Fuck this country. Once you have kids, like, oh, you got to protect kids. Like, slow down. It's one of the side of a fucking war. Hey, settle down. Is there a way to peacefully solve this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I fucking, yeah, that was it. That was like the biggest thing for me. It was like it just changed life in a way where it just became very different. You care about something more than you realize you have the capacity to care for. You know? That's the thing that really like, and then that's scary, right? So all the shit that we're talking about being afraid of, I wasn't afraid of really any of these things. Like, I wasn't really a math, like, you know, I was always a little bit of a hypochondriac, but like now I have like a fear, like, dude, if I get fucking cancer, I'm gonna like leave my kid. You keep saying that. Don't put that in your head sometimes. I know. I'll knock on some wood. Chappelle said almost exactly the same thing. He said it didn't just change the amount of love in his life. He said it changed his capacity for love for kids. I thought that was beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful way to describe it. That is a great way to describe it. And yeah, it's just like, you know, you have this fear that everything bad could happen to him. You want, like, dude, I don't want him to get bullied. I don't want him to have a bad day at school, you know? Right. And that's it. And then you have this anxiety that you walk around with. So that's the thing that's the hardest part about being a parent right there. That's it. When you talk about what's hard, all the other shit is kind of easy. It's just that fucking anxiety that the world's not going to be perfect for him. Yeah. That it's going to be dangerous for him. You don't want it to be perfect, right? You want mistakes. No, you're right. That's how a person learns. But you want a safe world. You want to be challenged because that makes him a stronger person. You want real life challenges to be in. By the way, he won the gold medal, which was such a great experience, but he also lost the no-gi. His last match, so he only got silver and no-gi. And that was a great experience too. Him losing was such a great experience because he saw it wasn't the fucking end of the world. Right. It's just who cares, right? He saw high and low, and I thought that experience was almost as valuable. But yeah, yeah, it's just a fucking real, like, you got to be prepared for that, I think. Yeah. You win or you learn. And that's an important lesson for kids. It's good to lose. It really is. It's good to bomb on stage too. Gets you your fucking shit together. Every time I ever bombed, I always had a way better set afterwards, like improved. I had a leap in improvement where I just tightened up all the shit that I was like, maybe I wasn't paying attention enough, maybe I wasn't going over my notes enough, maybe I wasn't writing enough. Whatever the fuck I wasn't doing, don't do that anymore. Figure it out stupid. Yeah, you need those losses. You need to... It just sort of shapes who you are. But I'll tell you right now, I really wanted him to win because... Not only obviously you want to see your kid win, but it's like, we put in so much work up to it, leading up to it. And if the lesson was that the work didn't pay off, now it's another uphill battle. I feel like him winning and it's setting him up to want to be a winner now. He's like, oh shit, I want that feeling right there. It felt way better to win than it felt to lose. And I feel like, I'm glad that the kids that he went up against, they were at a similar level because if they put him against some fucking wrestling stud, like they did in Noggy, he would have gotten fucking his ass kicked. Yeah, that's a problem. Wrestling studs. Yeah. That's always going to be a problem. Those guys are fucking freaks. Yeah, little kids that just fucking... Yeah, little kids that are throwing bodies around since they were tiny. Yeah. No catching up. What's not happening? Real hard to catch up. Yeah, he's 10 now. It's like, yeah, James, good luck. The only guy who I know ever caught up in MMA was George St. Pierre. Yeah. George St. Pierre didn't have a background in wrestling at all. He was a Kyokushin karate guy. Freak athlete. Yeah, he started doing gymnastics and shit at the end to condition his body. I mean, he was literally the best. He was so smart doing that. His approach to training was so smart, so interesting that he did that. But if it makes sense, if you watch those fucking gymnasts, who looks more jacked than those guys? Especially those dudes on the rings. What the fuck, man? That's literally the perfect physique. Yeah, I can't do any of that shit. That's a lot. The rings is a lot. Iron crosses and shit. What the fuck, man? That's a crazy amount of physical upper body strength. If you could do shit like that, it would make, for sure, make wrestling and jiu-jitsu better. That's for sure. Let's do one muscle up one day. Just one. Can you do that, Joe? Can you do muscle ups? Yeah. You son of a bitch. Yeah, you just swing your leg forward. You got to know how to do it right, too. You get to the top and you swing your leg forward, and then as your leg comes up, you press up. Yeah. Down. Oh, that's it? All right. Yeah. You don't try to do it from a dead hang, although some people can. Hector Lombard can do it from a fucking dead hang. He's just a freak athlete. He just does like that. Fuck it. Yeah. Who's your fucking... I'm Hector Lombard, motherfucker. If you... I need to fucking... I'm getting back in shape now, and I just fucking... Yeah, I mean, I really... I just want to be able to do shit like that, but... So, I'm doing a lot of boxing right now. I'm boxing another comedian a couple months from now. So, I'm not lifting any weights at all, so I'm just doing tons and tons of cardio. So, I just... I fucking look like a fucking soft piece of shit right now. You should do some physical exercise just to protect your joints, especially doing a lot of boxing. I always recommend some shoulder mobility exercises, just like... Even if you're only doing it once or twice a week, that can make a big difference in maintaining muscle. You're better off having some strength in your joints, especially when you're throwing punches. It's like you want to kind of keep everything strong. If you have weak joints, it can be very dangerous. Many guys have fucked their shoulders up boxing. Just miss a punch, catch a punch on an elbow, blow something out. It happens all the time. Yeah, no, I'm too old to be doing this shit, but I can't motivate to get in shape unless I'm fighting one of my friends. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. I need some sort of peripheral goal where being in shape is almost a side benefit of it, because just being in shape... I'm in a relationship, I'm older, I'm a dad. It's not enough of a motivation. Well, that's where Jiu-Jitsu comes in, right? Yeah. Because it's fun, and you're getting in shape while you're doing something that's fun, and it's interesting. You're learning new things. Like, oh, if you put your foot there, boom, the guy just goes over it. Wow. And then you try it in live training, and it happens. Like, wow, now I have a new technique in my arsenal. This is incredible. And then you drill it with your friends, you practice on each other. I mean, that is so huge about that sport, because it's so multifaceted. And literally, the more you know, the better you are at it. It's not that much dependent on physical strength. Physical strength is only one aspect of it. There's people that are way weaker than me, that are way better than me. Well, there's also like, it's so customizable for body types, your mentality. Like, it just... There's just, you know, there's certain things that my body type, it just doesn't work for, right? And you adapt, you know, to whatever it is. And you can get really good, even if you're not a super athletic dude, you just see it. There's like a real fucking skinny, dweeby guy, and he's a fucking brown belt. And he's like, oh no, this guy will choke the fuck out of anybody in here. He'll choke the fuck out of you. Yeah. There's like 140 pound guys that'll just kill you. Oh my God. Oh, we'll fucking just destroy you. It's so demoralizing. Dude, oh my God. Yeah, but that's the reality of this sport. Yeah. And I think it's beautiful, because it's the only martial art that does as advertised. Because martial arts, the whole idea is like, if you were Bruce Lee, like when I was a kid, Bruce Lee was the fucking man. I remember I saw a Bruce Lee movie, and I was a little kid, I was over at my friend's house, and it was on television. I couldn't believe it. Like, look at this guy. Yeah. Like, I wanted to get noontucks. I wanted to do it. But the reality of like a bunch of people rushing you, like, now this one comes at you. Now that guy goes, no. In the real world, people just fucking pile on top of you. And no one can really, if they're a smaller person, you're probably in a lot of trouble if someone's bigger and stronger than you, in like a wild fist to cuffs situation. But in jiu jitsu, the smaller person really can defeat the larger unskilled person all the time. Every time. Every time. Every time. That's not the case. Unless we said it before, if it's a freak athlete, you get a big professional football player, right? Right. I mean, you gotta be, this guy, this little guy better be real good, right? Real good. Yeah. But like, you know, like every time, you know, I was reading some book, and it was just like, they were just talking about like, if you get to your blue belt, you can literally with your hands murder, like 90% of the people you encounter in life. Yeah, it makes sense. Somewhere around there. Yeah. Like just, and that's like, you know, not that you want to murder people, but I'm saying like, you've like defended the death, dude. And when you talk about martial arts, like, like jiu jitsu is like, you can choke somebody to death. You can break their fucking limbs. Like it is pretty hardcore when you really, to its fullest, like when it's not respectful and you're tapping. And if it's used for what it was initially used for, I mean, it's a really brutal martial art. And here's what's important. You use it exactly the same way in training. Yeah. As you do on the street. So the problem with striking martial arts were, if you're sparring, particularly sparring with your friends, you always pulled back. Like you never tried to knock your friends out. You always like at least something pulled back. In jiu jitsu, you go full blast. Yeah. So you're going full blast together. And you're constantly used to someone going full blast. So if you're on the street and all of a sudden there's some fucking altercation and you're clinching with a guy, it's automatic. Instinctual. That's it. Automatic. And you're going to get usually a guy that is either your level or better than you, which is like, it's just the way it's like designed. Like you're just really designed. Iron sharpens iron and you're going with guys. It's built to, it's like comedy. It really is. Cause you can't fake it. You can't fake it. You have to, you have to have the stage time. You have to have the reps and you have to have the mat time. And that's the big parallel between those two. And I think that's why a lot of comedians do jiu jitsu and they can get into that mentality. Is that right there. It's also great to kill, it kills anxiety. Yeah. Kills anxiety. Yeah. You get good at jiu jitsu. Like, first of all, your physical worry about taking care of yourself diminishes somewhat. Because you're like, Oh, I'm like more confident with people than I ever thought I was before. Because I'm not really worried about people beating me up. Yeah. Right. And then on top of that, you're training a lot so that you're always like, just fucking squeezing those demons out. Yeah. You know, for a lot of people, that's like, that's what's holding them. But their body is like this overflowing battery of anxiety and energy that's not being met and fucking needs that aren't being fed and shitty food. And they're just like, and if you can get those fucking people to get out of that and start training something healthy, you know, and in jiu jitsu, the beautiful thing about is it's fun to do. So you look forward to doing it. You look forward to working out. It's all interconnected and working out is very similar to it. I think jiu jitsu is easier to get for me to get motivated with. But it really is you spend your time, you know, thinking we're talking so much about like being on our phones, right? It's like, when you're working out, you have to ignore your phone, there's no fucking looking at your cell phone when you're training, right? Right. And you have a little bit of time each day where you're thinking about yourself, whether it's even just being in the moment and doing jiu jitsu and trying to get better, but you're just genuinely trying to better yourself. All bullshit aside, you're there to better yourself physically, mentally. That is a really healthy thing that people should be doing, you know, in some capacity every day, they should be putting the bullshit away. And just either it's almost like meditative, like your mind sometimes goes blank. And you're like, I'm like, Oh, I'm finally not thinking about like my stresses for like one minute. I would imagine like dirtbag riding is like that. Yeah. Get on a fucking bike and running. Running is like that for me, to a certain degree. Yeah, running just got much for my knees, man. I've just had too many knee injuries. So I'm running now and I have the meniscus tears, but my doctor, my doctor was like, not really. No, I put her in knee braces. The running is fine. I don't run. I fucking jog. Right. You land on the balls of your feet? Yeah. Yeah. That takes a little adjusting to, right? When you when you had like running shoes back in the day, I always ran on the heels. I thought that's what they were for. I thought that's why they changed the human gait. When I started running, I just, it was when I started working out, I started running every day. So initially, the first time I started working, I just started doing pushups every day and then running. Right. And I was like, I can do this. Let me start working out. And then I, you know, started cutting carbs and then I lost weight very quickly. It was the first time my body was ever like adjusting to working out and going on a diet. So it was extreme. Like I lost a lot of weight very, very quickly. I got very motivated. I got a job in a gym. I was selling, you know, high-end gym memberships for a few years. And, but when I started running, I was wearing like, I want to say like air walks or some like shitty skateboarding shoe. And my first few months, I just ran and my feet were just in extreme pain. Like, like, oh my God, dude, it was it was wild how bad my feet are. And I was just like, Oh, yeah, dude. Are you getting plantar fasciitis? I think that's what was going on. Yeah. Yeah. And then I just got running shoes and I was like, Oh, okay. No, that's, that's not it at all. So and then I started looking up running form. I went to like one of those stores where they told you to had a run. And so I think I have pretty decent, you know, running form. I run like three miles a day. Do you run on a street? Do you run on a trail? I run on the street. I run on the street in Jersey. I ran in Austin twice. That seems like a lot of like impact on your knees. And I'm heavy too. I'm like two, two or five now. Yeah. Hmm. I know it's probably not the best for my knees, but it's literally the only thing that really helps me like cut that's why those like thick ass running cushy shoes make sense. Yeah. Run on streets that make sense there. You wouldn't want to be barefoot running on the street. I just like running outside. Do you sort of get into I can run in a treadmill. It's just a little bit more. I'm watching the clock, which I'm just staring at that clock, which I think is not good. I like to turn on some music just sort of get in my head, think about what's ever going on in my life and just trying to work out some shit and just fucking go. I do most of my cardio lately. I've been doing on this. You know what an echo bike is like an aerosol bike? It's one of those things you go. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I create too much wind. I get cold because I sweat a lot. So I'm like, fuck it. I feel like just this draft on me the whole time that I hate. Rogue actually invented a thing that fits over the fan. Oh really? Yeah. It doesn't blow, blow out. So annoying. It just blows forward. Yeah. Yeah. So it's good. But I just watch fights, watch fights and do Tabata sprints. So it's 20 seconds sprint, 10 second rest, 20 seconds sprint, 10 second run. That's the shit. That thing's the shit. That thing's hell. Yeah. That's hard to use. It's like one of those. What is that thing? Like the fucking, um, yeah, it's like a, it's like a rowing machine, but it's standing up. Yeah. Standing up. You just pull it down. Oh, that thing sucks. I never talked. I have one of those. I never use it. No. Get the fuck out of here with that. Uh, what are the Jacob's ladder thing where it's like a ladder that you climb up. That thing's hard as hell to use. Those are really good. Those are really good. Yeah. Cause it works your core the whole time. You're doing bear crawls uphill. Yeah. Fuck that. Use it to lose it, bro. Use it to lose it. I know. I wish I had that motivation. Well, for me, it's a mental health thing as much as it is anything. I don't feel good. I know me. I don't feel good if I don't work out. Do you need to go deep when you work out? Like, do you need to go like, cause I see you post videos or, you know, pictures of you like just covered in fucking sweat. I sweat like that if I just walk around a little bit. But like, do you need to go that like hard in order to sort of get the mental side out of it to use to bring yourself to a certain place? Cause I like a nice easy workout. Yeah. I don't do many of those, those nice easy ones. I do long ones because, uh, um, when I do kettlebells, uh, generally I subscribe to the idea that more reps over a longer period of time is better than less reps over a shorter period of time. If you're just trying to get strength and not muscle endurance. So I follow this guy, Pavel Tatselin, who's like the godfather of kettlebells in America. He brought kettlebells over, start teaching people kettlebells in America. And what he says is like, you don't, you, you don't go to failure. Like, say if you have a weight that you can clean and press and you can do it 10 times, don't do it 10 times, do it five and put it down, put it down for five minutes, then do it five again. Now you have five clean reps. They're perfect clean. So you did 10 reps, but you did them all like you're learning something. And he said strength is a skill and you don't want to do a skill when you're tired. And when you're learning how to control large heavy weights, you shouldn't get it to the point where your muscles are failing. And so he's like his philosophy, and this is a Russian sport philosophy, they and they had some fucking geniuses over there training their athletes. They figured out that if you just get the same reps, like say, instead of doing two sets of 10, you're better off doing four sets of five, because every rep will be perfect. And just the form the full range of motion probably is a big, a big part of it, you're not gonna get a sore. And your body is not going to get this lactic acid build up on this in this, you're not going to break form, you know, like when you're really you're fucking your muscles are broken down, like you're breaking form, like you're cheating a little, you're doing curls, you're leaning back, you know, his idea is do the same amount of reps, but have longer breaks in between the sets and do it over a longer period of time. And every rep is perfect. Yeah, I yeah, that's probably right. I mean, I want to typically when I work out, I try to superset everything I try because I try to, I try to get cardio in at the same time, right? So I'll go in, I'll warm up, do a little bit of cardio, but then I'm just trying to bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, fucking drop sets, go to failure, go to failure again, just sweating, like, but that's just like the way that I learned. That's like an old school way. And also, I kind of like lifting old school, like when I'm lifting weights, I like going to the gym and doing just the normal shit, right? It's a bench press, curls, squats, just the basics and just throwing a decent amount of weight on like I can't, I'm not that strong. I lived through a Bert Kreischer. Bert is fucking strong. He's a house. Holy shit, dude. We lifted at some, you know, college football fucking thing that he brought me to with a bunch of famous people and football players. I have no idea who was there, what I was doing there. And Bert Kreischer is a fucking tank dude. Yeah, I'm trying to remember how much he lifted. It was, it was, exercise you guys doing. We were benching. Yeah, he was doing, he did, I think, two plates on each side, but he did like, I want to say 15 reps. Like it was nothing. It was fucking crazy. We had a sober October here once and we all got hammered. We went out to lift weights and none of them could even do 225. No, really? So the fact that he goes from 225 then to be able to do it 15 times, at least 10 times. 10 times. 10 times. With ease. That's impressive. Yeah. I was like, he was fucking, he was hitting baseballs and he was just fucking cracking them, dude. Yeah. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he would be a fucking serious athlete. It's kept him so healthy this whole time while he's boozing it up, boozing up a storm. 225, 10 times. Yeah, dude. Here it is. It was wild. Yeah, this is it. One. That's crazy. Because he couldn't do it at all before. Three, four, five. Yeah, good form all the way down. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. He could have done two more with a spot. He could have got 11. I think he could have done 11. Yeah. Look at that. Beautiful. Yeah. He's awesome, dude. He's also off the sauce. He's off the sauce. He's been smoking the weed. He's not drinking now. No. Really? Yeah. Good for him. I know he's on a diet right now. Allegedly. Another week. Who knows? I'm hoping for him though. He called me and said it was two months. That's awesome. And he said he's loving it. And it's great for his comedy. He's coming up with new bits. Great guy. Great guy. He brought me on his tour fully loaded. He's a fucking sweetheart. And it was just such a cool experience. I'm a dirty scumbag. Nobody puts me on big shows in front of 15,000 people. That was fucking really cool. What a cool experience. Yeah. Burt's the man. He's a really good guy. He is a good guy. He's the best. He's a sweetheart. I mean, that's why he's doing so well. It's because he's easy to love. Yeah. That's it. Genuinely fun guy. Yeah. And that's really him. That's him when the cameras run. It's him when the cameras are off. When we're hanging out, his shirt's off. It's fucking drunk. He's got a red plastic cup. Yeah. Filled with some questionable liquid in there. Yeah. He's the man. So anyway, should we end it? That's good. It's good. Sure. Fucking podcast. That's awesome. That was a lot of fun, brother. I had a fucking blast, dude. Thank you. Tell everybody where they could digest Legion of Skanks, where your website is. So I have a new special that actually comes out, or it's going to be out when this comes out. It's already out on my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash LewisJGomezComedy. 30 minutes with LewisJGomez. It's my company, Gas Digital, which is our podcast network where you can find Legion of Skanks. We produce six specials. It was me, Dave Smith, Kurt Metzger, Colin Turrell, Jordan Jensen, and the great legendary Rich Voss. So they're all coming out weekly on everyone's YouTube channels. Beautiful. So yeah, go watch that if you think I'm funny. Beautiful. I'm glad you did that, man. That's fucking fantastic. And I love the fact that you've created your own thing. You know, that you have your own website, your own little network. You got everything going on yourself. You're independent. It's beautiful. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. And yeah, I mean, we have a great festival, Skankfest coming up. It's the best festival in all of God. I appreciate that, John. It really means a lot coming from you. It's crazy. Every time I see it, I'm just like, Jesus Christ, these guys are out of... It's a wild time and it's coming up right at the end of September. Shout out to our sponsors, Yield Kratum, who are just the best. All right. Thank you, everybody. Bye.