Post Malone's Alien Moment - JRE Toons

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Post Malone

2 appearances

Post Malone is a rapper, singer, songwriter, and producer. His latest album, "Austin," is available now. www.postmalone.com

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Transcript

We are in a weird fucking time and if the aliens come right now it's probably the best time to come. We're going to be the most relaxed about it. People are scared to shake hands. What are you going to do? Everyone is terrified. Are you going to say hi? Oh, I'm going to say hi for sure. Tell me what's up. Tell me what's actually good. I want to have an alien on the podcast. You imagine? You're a three foot tall, 40 pound dude with a giant bulbous head and antenna-like fingers and he's explaining how they traverse space and time instantaneously. You imagine? They're making sounds and you interpret those sounds no matter what language you're in all over the world. You instantaneously interpret what they're saying. Well, be through your brain. You wouldn't be able to hear them. They would do it through a podcast. They'd be able to engineer the sounds they make. They would hit you with some sound that's so complex you would understand exactly what they're saying even though you don't know the language and everybody would be like, what in the fuck is going on? Oh my God, there's an alien on the JRE. And that's what it would be. Me talking to some alien. They better give you some more goddamn money. I think that's the least of our problems when the aliens come. That shit is going to be wiped off. That's when we need gold. Yeah, we're going to be gold miners again, folks. Even if that's life in the future, they come down and go, you get two choices. One we eat you, two you mine gold for us. Are they eating humans? Stay alive. Why not? Why wouldn't they eat us? They'll be like, listen, you guys are just protein, you're assholes. They probably eat clouds. Yeah. Or like energy. They probably just eat energy. Yeah, maybe they just exist in some sort of like redundant system. Dude, they're probably not even fucking material. Probably. They're probably just fucking ethereal. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,