New UFO Video of Sighting Over California Military Base

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Ari Shaffir

67 appearances

Ari Shaffir is the host of "The Skeptic Tank" and "You Be Trippin'" podcasts. His latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: Jew," is available now via YouTube. www.arishaffir.com

Shane Gillis

17 appearances

Shane Gillis is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his latest stand-up special, "Beautiful Dogs," on Netflix.www.shanemgillis.com

Mark Normand

15 appearances

Mark Normand is the co-host of the podcasts "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his latest stand-up special, "Soup to Nuts," on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.com

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Transcript

Did you see the new footage? There's new footage of Jeremy Korbel leaked In 2021 there was a UFO that hovered over an Air Force base Stop! Slow it down, slow it down Sorry, I'm stuff-bucked up too I'm taking this in, I can't It's a lot going on here Show the pictures of the UFO These guys, 50 guys observed this thing Korbel, dang it I'm trying to process everything Korbel Chili Korbel Chili? Hormel How was like, am I missing that one? Is that a cultural reference? I'm unaware James Korbel? There's articles about him from recent The one that just came out like a day ago I think his wife's on Instagram That's definitely it Cardi B shows up So whatever this thing is They've got 50 different people I think he actually released photos of it Pull it up, JMO What about his own? Jimmy Goody It's like three lights a billion miles away That's why it's fun If you got really good evidence Then you would be all in I don't want to be all in, I like to be like half in Look at that background, looks like he's here That's it, where you see weaponized That's the craft, that's it So it's a video, so this thing What this thing is, they Photographed it, it's half of a football field size And it was hovering over this military base And then it just disappeared, just jetted off Interesting 50 people saw it 50? Yeah, who are these people? I'm some military guys Who are these people? The whole thing is, it's the most exciting thing to me It's the most fun All the stupid shit that I like to concentrate on You'd think they would have been here by now Illuminate the craft, but when the flares got close The UFO vanished into thin air So they shot flares at it That's probably just a jetliner I mean look at that That's the landing point Why would it vanish into thin air, only magic does that It just went further away They used magic Oh, what? Never even thought of the fucking magic That was Tim Dillon's jet That's nothing I mean, it vanished into thin air That's the same rate of speed like they always do Yeah That's what they do How many people would love a full invasion A full like landing How about us, we go camping, we're doing mushrooms, aliens land I'm dying for a probe Put it up my ass I don't think they do that anymore I think that's like corded phones I think they got everything they were looking for We have MRIs, why the fuck does an alien need a finger in your ass Good point, good point Just for fun, something to go tell the friends back at the farm Yeah, all those guys that said they got probed Were definitely just sexually assaulted Very repressed memories Fucking alien got in there Some fucking lumberjack fucked him in the forest And then left you right in front of that gay bar And they're fucking the cats Somehow they're connected Somehow, some connections did that Son of bitches This guy was on my podcast This is the dude Travis Walton From that movie Fire in the Sky Did you ever see that movie Fire in the Sky? It's all about the story That guy, there's a bunch of witnesses They saw him get hit with some sort of a beam They saw a craft land They were loggers This guy jumps out, he's a crazy fucking logger dude Jumps out, what the fuck is it Goes running towards it and he gets hit with his beam He falls down, they drive off They get like half a mile down the road And they're screaming at each other We gotta go back, we gotta go back And he's gone Five days later the guy shows up With this crazy story He shows up, makes a phone call He calls the police, he calls his family He said he got abducted by that craft And they fixed him They said his body was broken from the beam And they took him aboard and he had these encounters And there was a movie called Fire in the Sky Why did they beam in the first place? The movies obviously, they took a lot of liberties with the story Was it D.B. Cooper? Was that the guy who was in it? D.B. Sweeney D.B. Sweeney He's the guy that jumped out of the plane with the money That guy's badass That guy's a nut That guy had two broken legs and he was eaten by dogs He jumped out into the middle of the woods With no parachutes, he survived I guess The craziest is the cows that lose all their skin Oh no no no, you're talking about cattle mutilation Yes! No explanation They cut organs out with laser precision They removed the blood from the body With no visible method There's weird stuff that does happen to cows What about those images appear in the field? What the fuck is that? No one's talking about that anymore Acropolis I think people gave up on that Those are dudes I think people gave up on that They gave up on them They were beacons Because dudes were doing it But also some of them were a little more interesting Some of them They were folded into place in a way Where it seemed like a great deal of energy was in the The stoic Autistic men No no no, there were some of them that they were trying to say There was a way that you could do these things But it's very clear when someone did it that way Wow Crop circles were made by a supernatural force named Doug and Dave Intricate patterns carved in fields across England in the 1980s Were of viral phenomena long before the interest fed us such prankster curiosities daily The people that believe that some of them have something else to them But what about the cows? It's pulled the blood out This is different than one drop Not one drop of blood Cattle mystery mutilator That's the weird one It sounds like faulty reporting when they found the cow Yeah, that's more likely People have done things People have done things Each of their body parts precisely removed Someone has cut the organs out of that cow A weird dude is more likely Now if it was a person that's doing it The way they were doing it is very unusual I don't know why aliens would do that Doesn't make any sense But it does make sense They want stuff A lot of people lean towards aliens But why would they do that? The same reason a fucking alien would But why no blood? Why would an alien want cow blood? To learn about our creatures You've got to start somewhere Imagine if it was demons But they couldn't quite They didn't have the authority They didn't have the authority To go after people yet So they let them have a few cows every now and then Just to keep satisfying Cut it out They lived for thousands of years these demons They really just want to torture humans And gut them and suck their blood out And leave their fucking Skins carcasses Skins carcasses They always have one natural We're blaming it on aliens when it's demons It's just demons They're like okay go take a cow You fucking freaks Please go practice for what they're going to do to us Once they get the green light Once people are like inexcusably evil Once there's just like Every country is ruled by evil dictators Probably that close That close A little more sodomy and then unleashed Then we find out that Satan's real We're going to get some good comments after this one The Satan is real people Golan writes the reports of catamutalations Began in 1973 mostly in the west and midwest It was often small scale ranchers who reported them When local law enforcement agencies investigated They frequently found that the cows ears, eyes, rectums, and sex organs Had been cut away with surgical precision According to the newspaper reports More than 10,000 of the incidents occurred By the end of the decade it's demons Demons? You're fucking right Dude you're fucking right it's demons They just have to practice every now and then Demon way? They want to do it to people But God won't let them yet Yeah right But they need a feast Jesus Christ dude You're a machineThe Jerogan Experience Did you see the new footage? There's new footage of Jeremy Korbel leaked In 2021 there was a UFO that hovered over an Air Force base Stop! Slow it down, slow it down Sorry, I'm stuff-bucked up too I'm taking this in, I can't It's a lot going on here Show the pictures of the UFO These guys, 50 guys observed this thing Korbel, dang it I'm trying to process everything Korbel Chili Korbel Chili? Hormel How was like, am I missing that one? Is that a cultural reference? I'm unaware James Korbel? There's articles about him from recent The one that just came out like a day ago I think his wife's on Instagram That's definitely it Cardi B shows up So whatever this thing is They've got 50 different people I think he actually released photos of it Pull it up, JMO What about his own? Jimmy Goody It's like three lights a billion miles away That's why it's fun If you got really good evidence Then you would be all in I don't want to be all in, I like to be like half in Look at that background, looks like he's here That's it, where you see weaponized That's the craft, that's it So it's a video, so this thing What this thing is, they Photographed it, it's half of a football field size And it was hovering over this military base And then it just disappeared, just jetted off Interesting 50 people saw it 50? Yeah, who are these people? I'm some military guys Who are these people? The whole thing is, it's the most exciting thing to me It's the most fun All the stupid shit that I like to concentrate on You'd think they would have been here by now Illuminate the craft, but when the flares got close The UFO vanished into thin air So they shot flares at it That's probably just a jetliner I mean look at that That's the landing point Why would it vanish into thin air, only magic does that It just went further away They used magic Oh, what? Never even thought of the fucking magic That was Tim Dillon's jet That's nothing I mean, it vanished into thin air That's the same rate of speed like they always do Yeah That's what they do How many people would love a full invasion A full like landing How about us, we go camping, we're doing mushrooms, aliens land I'm dying for a probe Put it up my ass I don't think they do that anymore I think that's like corded phones I think they got everything they were looking for We have MRIs, why the fuck does an alien need a finger in your ass Good point, good point Just for fun, something to go tell the friends back at the farm Yeah, all those guys that said they got probed Were definitely just sexually assaulted Very repressed memories Fucking alien got in there Some fucking lumberjack fucked him in the forest And then left you right in front of that gay bar And they're fucking the cats Somehow they're connected Somehow, some connections did that Son of bitches This guy was on my podcast This is the dude Travis Walton From that movie Fire in the Sky Did you ever see that movie Fire in the Sky? It's all about the story That guy, there's a bunch of witnesses They saw him get hit with some sort of a beam They saw a craft land They were loggers This guy jumps out, he's a crazy fucking logger dude Jumps out, what the fuck is it Goes running towards it and he gets hit with his beam He falls down, they drive off They get like half a mile down the road And they're screaming at each other We gotta go back, we gotta go back And he's gone Five days later the guy shows up With this crazy story He shows up, makes a phone call He calls the police, he calls his family He said he got abducted by that craft And they fixed him They said his body was broken from the beam And they took him aboard and he had these encounters And there was a movie called Fire in the Sky Why did they beam in the first place? The movies obviously, they took a lot of liberties with the story Was it D.B. Cooper? Was that the guy who was in it? D.B. Sweeney D.B. Sweeney He's the guy that jumped out of the plane with the money That guy's badass That guy's a nut That guy had two broken legs and he was eaten by dogs He jumped out into the middle of the woods With no parachutes, he survived I guess The craziest is the cows that lose all their skin Oh no no no, you're talking about cattle mutilation Yes! No explanation They cut organs out with laser precision They removed the blood from the body With no visible method There's weird stuff that does happen to cows What about those images appear in the field? What the fuck is that? No one's talking about that anymore Acropolis I think people gave up on that Those are dudes I think people gave up on that They gave up on them They were beacons Because dudes were doing it But also some of them were a little more interesting Some of them They were folded into place in a way Where it seemed like a great deal of energy was in the The stoic Autistic men No no no, there were some of them that they were trying to say There was a way that you could do these things But it's very clear when someone did it that way Wow Crop circles were made by a supernatural force named Doug and Dave Intricate patterns carved in fields across England in the 1980s Were of viral phenomena long before the interest fed us such prankster curiosities daily The people that believe that some of them have something else to them But what about the cows? It's pulled the blood out This is different than one drop Not one drop of blood Cattle mystery mutilator That's the weird one It sounds like faulty reporting when they found the cow Yeah, that's more likely People have done things People have done things Each of their body parts precisely removed Someone has cut the organs out of that cow A weird dude is more likely Now if it was a person that's doing it The way they were doing it is very unusual I don't know why aliens would do that Doesn't make any sense But it does make sense They want stuff A lot of people lean towards aliens But why would they do that? The same reason a fucking alien would But why no blood? Why would an alien want cow blood? To learn about our creatures You've got to start somewhere Imagine if it was demons But they couldn't quite They didn't have the authority They didn't have the authority To go after people yet So they let them have a few cows every now and then Just to keep satisfying Cut it out They lived for thousands of years these demons They really just want to torture humans And gut them and suck their blood out And leave their fucking Skins carcasses Skins carcasses They always have one natural We're blaming it on aliens when it's demons It's just demons They're like okay go take a cow You fucking freaks Please go practice for what they're going to do to us Once they get the green light Once people are like inexcusably evil Once there's just like Every country is ruled by evil dictators Probably that close That close A little more sodomy and then unleashed Then we find out that Satan's real We're going to get some good comments after this one The Satan is real people Golan writes the reports of catamutalations Began in 1973 mostly in the west and midwest It was often small scale ranchers who reported them When local law enforcement agencies investigated They frequently found that the cows ears, eyes, rectums, and sex organs Had been cut away with surgical precision According to the newspaper reports More than 10,000 of the incidents occurred By the end of the decade it's demons Demons? You're fucking right Dude you're fucking right it's demons They just have to practice every now and then Demon way? They want to do it to people But God won't let them yet Yeah right But they need a feast Jesus Christ dude You're a machineThe Jerogan Experience Did you see the new footage? There's new footage of Jeremy Korbel leaked In 2021 there was a UFO that hovered over an Air Force base Stop! Slow it down, slow it down Sorry, I'm stuff-bucked up too I'm taking this in, I can't It's a lot going on here Show the pictures of the UFO These guys, 50 guys observed this thing Korbel, dang it I'm trying to process everything Korbel Chili Korbel Chili? Hormel How was like, am I missing that one? Is that a cultural reference? I'm unaware James Korbel? There's articles about him from recent The one that just came out like a day ago I think his wife's on Instagram That's definitely it Cardi B shows up So whatever this thing is They've got 50 different people I think he actually released photos of it Pull it up, JMO What about his own? Jimmy Goody It's like three lights a billion miles away That's why it's fun If you got really good evidence Then you would be all in I don't want to be all in, I like to be like half in Look at that background, looks like he's here That's it, where you see weaponized That's the craft, that's it So it's a video, so this thing What this thing is, they Photographed it, it's half of a football field size And it was hovering over this military base And then it just disappeared, just jetted off Interesting 50 people saw it 50? Yeah, who are these people? I'm some military guys Who are these people? The whole thing is, it's the most exciting thing to me It's the most fun All the stupid shit that I like to concentrate on You'd think they would have been here by now Illuminate the craft, but when the flares got close The UFO vanished into thin air So they shot flares at it That's probably just a jetliner I mean look at that That's the landing point Why would it vanish into thin air, only magic does that It just went further away They used magic Oh, what? Never even thought of the fucking magic That was Tim Dillon's jet That's nothing I mean, it vanished into thin air That's the same rate of speed like they always do Yeah That's what they do How many people would love a full invasion A full like landing How about us, we go camping, we're doing mushrooms, aliens land I'm dying for a probe Put it up my ass I don't think they do that anymore I think that's like corded phones I think they got everything they were looking for We have MRIs, why the fuck does an alien need a finger in your ass Good point, good point Just for fun, something to go tell the friends back at the farm Yeah, all those guys that said they got probed Were definitely just sexually assaulted Very repressed memories Fucking alien got in there Some fucking lumberjack fucked him in the forest And then left you right in front of that gay bar And they're fucking the cats Somehow they're connected Somehow, some connections did that Son of bitches This guy was on my podcast This is the dude Travis Walton From that movie Fire in the Sky Did you ever see that movie Fire in the Sky? It's all about the story That guy, there's a bunch of witnesses They saw him get hit with some sort of a beam They saw a craft land They were loggers This guy jumps out, he's a crazy fucking logger dude Jumps out, what the fuck is it Goes running towards it and he gets hit with his beam He falls down, they drive off They get like half a mile down the road And they're screaming at each other We gotta go back, we gotta go back And he's gone Five days later the guy shows up With this crazy story He shows up, makes a phone call He calls the police, he calls his family He said he got abducted by that craft And they fixed him They said his body was broken from the beam And they took him aboard and he had these encounters And there was a movie called Fire in the Sky Why did they beam in the first place? The movies obviously, they took a lot of liberties with the story Was it D.B. Cooper? Was that the guy who was in it? D.B. Sweeney D.B. Sweeney He's the guy that jumped out of the plane with the money That guy's badass That guy's a nut That guy had two broken legs and he was eaten by dogs He jumped out into the middle of the woods With no parachutes, he survived I guess The craziest is the cows that lose all their skin Oh no no no, you're talking about cattle mutilation Yes! No explanation They cut organs out with laser precision They removed the blood from the body With no visible method There's weird stuff that does happen to cows What about those images appear in the field? What the fuck is that? No one's talking about that anymore Acropolis I think people gave up on that Those are dudes I think people gave up on that They gave up on them They were beacons Because dudes were doing it But also some of them were a little more interesting Some of them They were folded into place in a way Where it seemed like a great deal of energy was in the The stoic Autistic men No no no, there were some of them that they were trying to say There was a way that you could do these things But it's very clear when someone did it that way Wow Crop circles were made by a supernatural force named Doug and Dave Intricate patterns carved in fields across England in the 1980s Were of viral phenomena long before the interest fed us such prankster curiosities daily The people that believe that some of them have something else to them But what about the cows? It's pulled the blood out This is different than one drop Not one drop of blood Cattle mystery mutilator That's the weird one It sounds like faulty reporting when they found the cow Yeah, that's more likely People have done things People have done things Each of their body parts precisely removed Someone has cut the organs out of that cow A weird dude is more likely Now if it was a person that's doing it The way they were doing it is very unusual I don't know why aliens would do that Doesn't make any sense But it does make sense They want stuff A lot of people lean towards aliens But why would they do that? The same reason a fucking alien would But why no blood? Why would an alien want cow blood? To learn about our creatures You've got to start somewhere Imagine if it was demons But they couldn't quite They didn't have the authority They didn't have the authority To go after people yet So they let them have a few cows every now and then Just to keep satisfying Cut it out They lived for thousands of years these demons They really just want to torture humans And gut them and suck their blood out And leave their fucking Skins carcasses Skins carcasses They always have one natural We're blaming it on aliens when it's demons It's just demons They're like okay go take a cow You fucking freaks Please go practice for what they're going to do to us Once they get the green light Once people are like inexcusably evil Once there's just like Every country is ruled by evil dictators Probably that close That close A little more sodomy and then unleashed Then we find out that Satan's real We're going to get some good comments after this one The Satan is real people Golan writes the reports of catamutalations Began in 1973 mostly in the west and midwest It was often small scale ranchers who reported them When local law enforcement agencies investigated They frequently found that the cows ears, eyes, rectums, and sex organs Had been cut away with surgical precision According to the newspaper reports More than 10,000 of the incidents occurred By the end of the decade it's demons Demons? You're fucking right Dude you're fucking right it's demons They just have to practice every now and then Demon way? They want to do it to people But God won't let them yet Yeah right But they need a feast Jesus Christ dude You're a machine