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Recorded on: September 11, 2024Tom Segura is a stand-up comic, actor, podcaster, and author. He co-hosts two podcasts, "Your Mom's House," with his wife, comic Christina Pazsitsky, and "Two Bears, One Cave," and is the author of "I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays." www.ymhstudios.com
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Well, well, well. If it is an old horseworm rogan. I'm glad you're well, man. Bro, do I have to sue CNN? I don't know. Do you? They're making shit up. They keep saying I'm taking horse dewormer. I literally got it from a doctor. It's an American company. They won the Nobel Prize in 2015 for use in human beings. Yeah. And CNN is saying I'm taking horse dewormer. They must know that's a lie. Well, there's a lot of people saying it. Right, but a lot of people can say it. Okay. Like the internet says it. Who cares? Sure. But CNN is saying it. Jim Acosta. I meant like USA Today, a few other places. Yeah, and they're talking about Ivermectin. Yeah. So what, because I don't know, I just saw so much news about you. I mean, I would talk to you and check on you and see if you're all right. And you're like, you threw the kitchen sink at it, you said. Yeah. And you said stuff that you took IV drips and what is it? Monoclonal antibodies. And what is monoclonal antibodies? It's the shit they gave Trump. Okay. Yeah. And then what, so who said, or did you already want Ivermectin? Well, I had this guy on Dr. Pierre Corey, and he is, what is the organization? He's from Frontline COVID Critical Care Workers. Yeah, it was last year. He's a well-established doctor, has treated thousands of people with COVID. And early on in the pandemic, they found some good efficacy with Ivermectin, Frontline 19 Critical Care Alliance. Okay. Yeah. So I had him on, and he had talked to me about it. He's not the only doctor that told me to take it. Multiple doctors told me to take it. Mm-hmm. It's supposed to have, what is the exact thing it's supposed to do? There's something that I highlighted. And this is obviously, I'm not a doctor. It says Ivermectin was found to be a blocker of viral replicase, R-E-P-L-I-C-A-S-A, protease, and I don't know what this word is, human T-M-P-R-S-S-2, I don't know. But what they didn't highlight is that I got better. Yeah, you got better quickly. They tried to make it seem as if I'm doing some wacky shit that's completely ineffective. CNN was saying that I'm a distributor of misinformation. Also, that was the other thing that happened. In Tokyo, in Japan, which is apparently, they're very conservative about the medication that they use and the medications that they endorse. But the Tokyo Medical Association chairman held a live press conference recommending Ivermectin to all doctors for all COVID patients. So what's going on with the, you know, it's kind of hard to figure out what's the truth in a lot of things, but with regard to this, people go, it's insane to take Ivermectin. Like you see it everywhere. Everyone's like, this is wild, don't take this shit. And then you have the head of the fucking Tokyo, whatever medical commission's saying, take Ivermectin. Yeah, I don't know what's going on, man. You know, there's a lot of speculation. One of the speculations involves the emergency use authorization for the vaccines that in order for there to be an emergency use authorization, there has to be no treatment for a disease. So because there is this treatment in Ivermectin, and there's other treatments too, because of this, there's a lot of pushback against potential treatments and pretending that they don't really work or that they're conspiracy theories. This is the grand conspiracy, right? The grand conspiracy is the pharmaceutical companies are all in cahoots to try to make anybody who takes his stuff look crazy. But what's crazy is, look how bitter I got. I got better pretty quick, bitch. Let's go to your whole experience. So you get back from a trip, right? Is it that night? Do you arrive home and know? Or on your way home, you're like, I don't feel so great. Well Saturday, here's what happened. Friday night, we went out and got hammered. Went out and played pool till 3.30 in the morning, had a bunch of drinks. Had a bunch of drinks at the show. At the show, I think I had two drinks, and then I had like four afterwards. So we're pretty lit. And it was 3.30 in the morning, exhausted, playing travel, flew that day from, I guess so Fort Lauderdale was the first show, then that was Tampa, and then last show was Orlando. That night, I was worn out Friday night, because it was 3.30 in the morning and I was like, oh, I got a crash. And then I woke up in the morning and I was definitely hungover, but I was also just feeling a little out of it. Just a little, just not good. It's hard to describe. If I had COVID, it was just like beginning stages, but I thought it was a hangover. Right, which kind of confuses the way, how you can read it. So I drank a lot of water, ate, took a bunch of vitamins, went to sleep, got up for the show, felt good. No drinks that night. And then that night we flew back. And so just feeling worn out, pretty normal, but worn out. And then when I got home, I was like, man, something just feels off. So I told my wife, you should probably keep away from me. Let me isolate. Luckily, we have a big house, isolated. In the middle of the night, I was sweating, you know, I would get fevers and I just wasn't feeling good. And you knew it then? I woke up in the morning, I knew it. By the time the morning, I was like, something's going on. Let's see what it is. It was 90, whatever percent sure it was COVID. So morning I got tested, turned out positive. And then- This is Sunday? Sunday. So Sunday, you find out you're positive and then that day you feel sick, right? You're just in bed, relaxed, rested. Yeah, that day, headache, sick, weak. Do you immediately, this is what I didn't have an answer yet. Did you have a plan in place in your head for like, if I get COVID, I would do these? So when you find out you're positive, you start reaching out for these treatments? Yeah, I already had it in place. You did? Yeah, I was already ready to go. And then you start taking them that day? Yeah, I got it. I got all the stuff that I needed, took it that day. And then Monday I felt pretty fucking good. And I was taking vitamin IV drips every day, high dose of vitamin C, vitamin D and NAD as well. My concern when I spoke to you was just, will you please fucking rest? That's what I texted you. I was like, no hill runs, no fucking kettlebells and don't wrestle any fucking cattle today. Just rest. I did. And you're like, I'm going to rest. I rested. I know. I did, I rested. I did. I didn't do shit, but watch TV. I enjoyed the first couple of days. This is a nice, legit, solid excuse where I don't have to do anything, which never comes up. Right. That was when the pandemic started back in March last year where it was like, no, you have to cancel your dates. I was like, all right, it'll be a nice week off. Sure. Two weeks to slow the spread. Yeah, let's fucking check it out. Yeah. But after I did this and I hit it with the NAD and the high dose vitamin C, I think it was 10,000 milligrams of vitamin C in the IV drip, which is very effective. It goes right into your bloodstream, right? Yeah. After that and the monoclonal antibodies and all the other stuff, literally on Monday, I felt pretty fucking good. Yeah. That's pretty fast, man. Yeah. Mine, when I got COVID, I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. And I thought it was the opioid withdrawals, of which they told me, they're like, you're going to feel like shit when you get off of these. Like the flu, right? Yeah. It's exactly, they said you're going to get emotional and you're going to feel terrible. And I was like, okay. And I got off of them on a Saturday. I stopped taking them after two weeks. And then on Monday, I think it was Monday or Tuesday, I had PT and OT back to back. And afterwards I was like, man, I feel terrible. What is OT? Occupational therapy. What's your difference? Above the waist is kind of the way they tell you. PT is below the waist, OT is above the waist. So they were treating my knee for PT and then the OT was like the arm and hand stuff. I did them back to back, and they're hour each, and I'm all fucked up. So they're like, yeah, of course you're tired and shit. Take a nap. I'm like, I'm going to get up for like three hours. And they're like, God damn. And here's the thing, it occurred to nobody that I had COVID. The next day I'm like, I had diarrhea, my shoulders, like my traps, neck, so achy. I was like, oh. And they're like, yeah, he's just fucking worn out from the therapy and getting off of the opiates and everything. And then the next day, a little better, but still shitty. And the third day, I was like, I feel better. And the fourth day, I was like, I feel fine. So that was kind of like my window. And it was the fourth day where they were like, do you want to take a COVID test? I was like, for what? They're like, oh, for when you felt like shit three days ago? And I go, yeah, okay. And so I took the COVID test. And my favorite is that they're like, do you want same day results? And I go, yeah. And they go, it's expensive. And I go, this fucking hospital stays expensive. What are you talking about? Like, this is thousands of dollars a day. You think I don't want to spend $100 more to find out today? So I said, yeah, let's do same day. And then they test it. And at the end of the day, I go, where's my result? And they're like, we don't know. So the next day I'm going home. And it's a Saturday. And they're taking me home. And I was like, hey, whatever happened to my fucking COVID test? And now I feel totally fine. And they go, I don't know. I want to call the lady that took the test. And I was like, the fuck? So crazy. So I get home. I watch a movie with my kids. And the email goes, ding. And I open it. And it says, positive. That's how I found out. So you're fucking super protected. Yes. Because there was a study that showed that if you've had a previous COVID infection, you're 6 to 13 times more protected than you are with just a Pfizer. Yeah, I gave up the argument. I was arguing with my cousin, who's an ID doctor. What's an ID doctor? Infectious disease doctor. So this is what she treats. She's in the hospitals every day. And she was like, when the Delta variant came out, she was like, this thing is no joke. She's like, this is all I'm seeing. You have to get back, especially if you're going on tour. I was like, well, whatever. I was like, fine. I'll just go. Yeah. Well, it didn't bother you. Yeah, it didn't bother me. I'm still doing that. Like, I'll still huck up little green shit here and there. So you went a week out? A week yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that long. But it doesn't feel bad. Yeah. I had a great workout today. You had a great workout today? Yeah, I had a great workout today. Felt great. That's my second workout. I had one workout two days, three days ago, three days ago. Then took yesterday off, and then worked out again today. No problem at all. Just feel completely normal. Great. Yeah. And your breathing's fine. Yeah, except the hucking up little. But they're little ones. Little, little green things. Or maybe you're immune to it now from having so much public scrutiny. But having people wish you got sicker, isn't that crazy to you? I didn't pay attention. It's crazy to me. I mean, I've had people wish harm on me and threaten me and tell me they wish I was dead and all this stuff. But fun. Yeah, you're like, cool, man. Thanks for watching the special. But it's like, when you're sick, people are like, I wish you were more sick. Well, the good news is I was only sick for a day. That's true. It's just wild that there's people that are like, I wish you were more sick. I wish you were in the hospital. Because I wasn't scared during the entire pandemic, what they would like is that when I did get sick, that I was really sick. And you learned your lesson. And you became really scared and learned my lesson. And instead, it's the worst case scenario for them. I bounce back about as quick as you fucking can. They're haters. But that's their life. You got to live like that. Imagine spending any time whatsoever wishing that a person felt bad. Yeah, that's true. It's the dumbest fucking thing you could ever spend your energy on. Yeah, it's true. And it doesn't work. You can't, it doesn't make people feel worse. You're like, God, I wish so hard. He's okay. So crazy. You know, I'd heard that that was going on, but I didn't pay attention to it. It's like, you know, they're weak bitches. Yeah. Stay salty. Yeah, we're doing all right. Everything's fine. Yeah. I'm doing pretty good. But meanwhile, I don't have a bad message. My message is be healthy. And obviously, there's some merit to that. You know, and merit to being consistently healthy. You know, here's a message. The thing that fucked me is drinking. I think that really fucked me. Yeah. I bet if I went home early, went to the hotel early Friday night and got sleep like I normally do, but it would have never got me. You think so? Yeah, I was hammered. We're out playing pool till, like I said, 3.30 in the morning. You know, I love playing pool. So I'll play pool till I'm fucking exhausted. Oh my God. I went on a trip with you once. Dude, it was like, stand up to pool to the whole next day. Like you're like, I didn't go to bed. You got back at like 9 a.m. And then we went out to breakfast. I was like, what are you talking about? You're fine. I was like, no way, dude. Well, that message is not a good message. No. The up all night message and the drinking messages. Yeah, my messages don't do that. And it is stupid and I haven't had a drink since then. Watch the entire episode for free only on Spotify.