Joe Rogan - Wolverines are FEROCIOUS!!

Yeah, I wish it didn't have a history. If we just thought of it as a thing, like a Wolverine, right? Wolverines don't have any... There's no one... No one feels about a Wolverine the same way they think about a bear. Because there's no, like, cute Wolverines. There's only the ones that you see in, like, you know, X-Men. Like the Wolverine dudes. Is this one? Yeah. But he's like a person. His name's Wolverine. There's no, like, cute Wolverines. Because they're so fucking ferocious. Such a monster of a little animal. One Wolverine will fuck up a big bear. Oh, for real? Dude, they're fucking ruthless. They chase wolves off food. How big are Wolverines? Not big, man. 40 pounds, 50 pounds. Jeez. They'll fuck up everything. They fuck up everything. Everything runs away from them. They're just ready to die. All day. All day ready to die. And they're super strong and durable for a little tiny thing. You ever see... You know what a Wolverine looks like? And now I think I don't... Pull up a Wolverine bearing his fangs. It looks like a fake animal. It's like a super jacked little giant rat bear thing with fangs. It's like a super badger. Badgers are... Badgers are vicious. I know they're vicious. Fucking vicious. That's a Wolverine. Jesus. Bro. I mean, look at the teeth on that thing. Look at its face. And that's... It's smiling. Yeah. That's a good day. Those motherfuckers are ready to go to war. All day. Make weird noises. They're terrifying. Like, if that thing wanted to kill you, you would be fucked. Look at those claws. The claws and the teeth. Now, imagine that that thing is hyper-aggressive and it's a predator. Fuck! That shit is built to survive. Fuck, man. That is a crazy little animal. They are ferocious and they are ready to go at all times. I mean, they'll try to get the fuck away from you. The animal scientific name means the glutton. It's a pretty apt description. Four feet tall, weighing 22 pounds for females and 40 pounds for males. These fierce creatures are the largest members of the Weasel family. They're fucking Weasels, bro. That's vicious Weasel. Still, they're small compared to some of the animals they compete with for food. But a Wolverine has no problem standing up to wolves or a bear when a meal is on the line. Isn't that crazy? 40 pounds. The way bears are to us is the way... We are the dogs, an 80-pound dog that would probably fuck you up if you're a 150-pound person. That's how Wolverines are to bears. A 40-pound Wolverine might fuck up a 200-pound bear. Bears are like, damn, this ain't worth it. When I die, I want to come back as a Wolverine. It's a vicious-ass animal. They eat caribou. They eat hares and rodents as well as larger animals like caribou that are weak or ill. But we'll also scavenge from any carcass they can get their claws on. They also eat vegetables and berries. Frozen meat isn't a deterrent. Their upper molar that sits sideways at 90 degrees lets them rip into ice-covered carcasses. Their teeth are so sharp and strong that they can even eat bones. Whoa. Damn. Once they got food, they often bury it to save for later, mere hours after a meal. They'll go on the hunt again. Ferocious. Ferocious little fucks. Ugly as shit, too. Yeah, so we don't have a cutie one of those. Right. We don't have a cutie one of those. If we did, we'd be like, the Wolverine. Hi, Mr. Wolverine. Hi, kids. I'm here to help you and guide you through the forest. Now they're here to eat your kids. I'm waiting for some woman to bring on a plane as a support Wolverine. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Some crazy, it's always a woman. Yeah. And always one that's like over 50 and on all kinds of medication. If you're a dude and you bring a Wolverine on a plane, they'll beat you to death. We'll beat your ass. Has a Wolverine ever killed a person? There's some women that'll get offended by that. Why is it have to always be a woman? Is it you? It's not you, right? Right. I'm not talking about you. Why get in person? Why do we have to be gender specific? You know what I'm saying? If I'm saying, oh, it's probably a woman. It doesn't mean that he ain't no woman. Right. What it means is it's probably really a woman. Right. If you had a guess, just being honest. Because the peacock person. That was a woman. That was a woman. But in the defense of women, a guy got an emotional support alligator recently. What an idiot. He was a guy. And he's an idiot. I wonder how many of those people, including the peacock lady, are doing it just for attention. Because they know that people talk about it.