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Ian Edwards is a stand up comedian and also hosts his own podcast called “Soccer Comic Rant" available on Spotify. His new special "Bill Burr presents Ian Talk: Ideas Not Worth Spreading" premieres July 12 on Comedy Central.
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Do they say soccer where you're from? Like originally? In England? No, not in England. In England it's football. Yeah, only in America they say soccer. But before the, like, where did it become football? Was it always football in Europe? It was always football. Well, why when it came over here did it switch over? No idea. Why didn't they come up with another name for football? Because you hardly ever kick a football. I think they were playing football, like the soccer football, and then somebody picked up the ball and started running with it, and then they started tackling each other, like I heard some story like that. And then they kind of created football and it evolved from there, but then they never changed the name. Isn't it weird that, like, football is called football when the only person who kicks it is a guy who can't even play the game? It's the least significant person on the team as far as getting pussy is a championship. Yes. That is weird. And you're not allowed to hit him, right? Right, and you're not allowed to hit him, yeah. That's crazy. You can't hit him. It's not while he's in motion of his vulnerable person to try to be safe with him. Oh, so you can't hit him while he's kicking? While his leg's up in the area. Oh, that's so ridiculous. What a bitch-ass rule. If you block the ball, then you can hit him. But isn't it crazy that that's football? There's only one time it gets kicked. How is that football? What a silly name. Right? Doesn't make sense. But I'm not mad at it, you know. It's like fine. It's whatever. Imagine if they called, you know, baseball, what would they call it? Foul? If they called it foul. We're playing foul. When something happens every now and then in this game, there's nothing to do with running around the bases. It's about touchdown. You should call it touchdown. Yeah. You should play touchdown. Yeah, baseball. It's just like we're trying to get from base to base. Yeah. If they call baseball touchdown. No, if they call football touchdown. Touchdown, yeah. Call it the NTL, National Touchdown League. We're going to play touchdown. That's the game. It's not football. Your foot doesn't have shit to do with it. I'm looking through an explanation of why we call it soccer, and it's more confusing than we care. Do people- I can't see what to go through. When you go back to England, if you're from England and you're talking about it, do people- Do they resent the term soccer? How does that work? Some people do. I used to resent the term soccer. Really? Yeah, but I live here, and it's like, get over it. You know what I'm saying? As a person, I got to get over it because it was my favorite sport growing up. So I just got over it. And then now I even call it soccer. My podcast says soccer. I don't even say football. But when I go to England, I just- Or just when I'm around football, soccer people, I say football. I get it. It's like if I was talking to someone, they wanted to talk about pool, but they wanted to call it bumper pool. Oh, okay. That piss you off. The woman's World Cup. They won the World Cup, and the United States did, for soccer. But it's not- it's football to people like yourself. It's the World Cup. How can they call the World Cup soccer to appease the one country that gives the least amount of fucks about the sport? Isn't that weird? Yeah, that's weird. That's the power of America. That's crazy. If you really stop and think about it, we made them change the name of their thing. We're like, ah, we're not going to get in there. We'll call it soccer. We're a part of it, but we're calling it this. Do they call it football in like Argentina? Yeah. Okay, everywhere? Football. But it's football. Just their pronunciation and spelling of it. But then Australia, they're the rebels of the rebels. Oh, yeah. They have their own rules. They have Australian rules. Australian rules. Football. Yeah. They changed the rules. Right. Yes. Yeah. Because they're too. You know what it was over there? They were too used to rugby, like those New Zealand savages. So they had to. Yeah. Yeah. They're fucking savage. You can't play that bitch ass game with a helmet. These guys are running around, biting each other in the dick and the scrums.