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Christina P is a stand-up comic and co-host of the "Your Mom's House" podcast with her husband and fellow comedian Tom Segura. Her new Netflix comedy special, "Mom Genes," is available now. http://www.christinaponline.com/
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That's what it is. Take them up the Himalayas. Have you done that yet? Fuck that. That's not on the menu. How do you know if you have it in you? If you could do it? What? You need to do it to prove it. I don't need to do it to prove it. We don't need to do it. I know I'm not interested in it. I'm not interested in the Himalayas. That's what Ram Dass used to call it. Yeah. The Himalayas. I go, is that how you fucking say this? Yeah. I used to have a joke about it. About the Himalayas? Yeah. About how there's dead bodies on the way up there. And you're like, you have to have such incredible arrogance. Because it's so cold that they have to leave the dead bodies. So as you're walking up this trail to the top of this mountain, hoping to be one of the people that makes it, you get to look to the left and the right of you, and there's dead bodies. It's wild, dude. There's dead bodies from the 30s. What? Yes. And they're not decomposed because it's super cold? Frozen solid like a rock, and they look like they're made out of plaster. They're white. Pale white frozen. Whoa. You see their skin. Like their clothing has been pushed away a little bit by time and worn out. And you could see part of their skin. Yeah, there's people that they know who the person is. Like it's a famous hiker. Shut up. No, I'm not bullshitting at all. And you can walk. I was obsessed with this for months. I was reading stories about hikers. Look at this. These are hikers' bodies. And they just leave them there? Look at that one on the far left. Yep, they just leave them there. Look at that one. Look at his skin. Bro, pick him up. No, you can't because the air is so thin. It's so dangerous that to bring that guy down would risk people's lives. Because it's so hard to get up there, and they just leave him up there. I think they've removed some of them. This shit makes me so angry. You know what else infuriates me? I was watching a documentary about this guy that's free climbing. Oh, Alex Honnold? I don't know. I'm sure he's free climbing. Yeah, I've had him on a few times. I love that guy. Shit makes me so fucking mad because I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, and then I put my finger in the crevice. I don't have any back. It's like... No, not like that. Sometimes it gets tricky. Sometimes it's like I have to lift my foot up and get it to the spot or I'm going to die. I have to lift my foot up over here and push off. Look at that. What the fuck? Yeah, this guy. Barrow. What are you doing, Colm? Just what that looks like is just barrow. His little pants are falling down. His dick's going to pop. He's got dick root. He's showing dick root. He's showing some dick root. He's in good shape. He should. He looks great. Super, super, super nice guy. He's been on the podcast a few times. I think three times. I really enjoy talking to him. He just gets them excited to do this. First of all, he loves being in nature and I think there's this accomplishment thing that comes with being able to climb something with no ropes because there's no if. It's just must do. Must do for to live. You see people on those ropes. Sometimes they slip and they fall off. Would you have slipped and fallen off if there was no rope? These fucking crazy assholes. Is this the guy that got arrested? This is Alex. This is why. Oh, that's him too. Yeah. Look at him. He's got his little chalky hands. God, he's climbing a fucking building. He's so high. That's so crazy. How old is this guy? He says climbs halfway up New Jersey skyscraper. Why half? How does he get back down? What happens then? Do you slide down? My hands are so sweaty. I know. I know. I know. I don't like it. I don't want to see this. I know. Take it away. Wait. But Joe, have you seen the documentary? About the divers who rescue the children. Oh my God. Trapped in the tie. No, I haven't seen that. Tommy made me watch it. He's like, you're going to love it. It's very inspirational. I don't like children getting fucked with ever. Children are trapped inside of a fucking cave. They find divers who are like hobbyist divers, like a bunch of just old white guys like introvert weirdos who are cave divers. Yeah. Because the military can't hack it. They don't know how to get in and get these kids out. It's a fascinating story. Should I tell you what happens? Spoiler alerts. Okay. I know. I probably should have said this before. But okay. Anyway. Yo, yo, yo. So these are the guys. And they find this group of like misfit dudes who love cave diving and they can go into these tiny little angles. I mean, look at the, it's all so narrow. And like I said, there's the boys trapped. They got trapped in a storm and they were there for like a month. Oh, it's awful. And they had to devise a plan to get these boys out. Oh my God. And can I tell you how they did it? Sure. It's so crazy. They consulted with this anesthesiologist and they put an apparatus on the boys' faces to put them under anesthesia. And then the professional diver would take them through the cave very carefully out over like two or three hours while this kid was under anesthesia. Two or three hours? Oh my God. I mean, like I'm crying and just fucking remembering it. Oh my God. It was horrible. Look, look, this is the route. So there's the boys. Oh my God. This is insane. So they had to find a way to be able to carry a kid, safely put a mask on them. Without the kid freaking out. Yeah. Right. Because if the kid freaks out, it kicks up dust. Well, I had Donald Cerrone on my podcast and he was cave diving with this guy and the guy got his, his, his tube tangled, his rope tangled, and he freaked out and spazzed out and he filled the cabin up with silt and they couldn't see anymore and he couldn't figure out how to get out and see it. And he was running out of air and he had to try to, it's the most riveting story I've ever heard of my life. What is this? It's Donald Cerrone and he was telling a cave diving story and it's on YouTube. And when he did it, like even though I knew he was here, so I knew he was alive. Yeah. He's obviously alive. He's sitting in front of me telling me the story. It's about him. As he's telling me, I'm so filled with anxiety that I can hardly breathe because he's doing an amazing job of telling it. And the, and the story is terrifying. And then he's thinking about getting back to his wife and his kid. Yeah. You know, that's what he's thinking about. And while he's trying to find his way out, it's like, I am not going to fucking quit. I'm going to get out. And he finally gets out. It's like, yo. Right now. But he's like, you want to talk about, he's a hardcore adrenaline junkie. That's what that is. Yeah. I mean, he's a professional cage fighter. He's got 48 fights in UFC. He jumps jet skis and fucking he's always doing nutty things.