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Alonzo Bodden is a stand up comedian and also the winner of Last Comic Standing Season 3. Check out his podcast called “Who’s Paying Attention" on Spotify.
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The guns, like that was the thing, right? When they first said guns are not essential, right? Then they pulled back on that and they said... Well, it was essential and then they decided to stop it from being essential because there's giant lines outside of gun store. And people were kind of tweaking and then people complained about that and then they stepped in and said it's not and everybody said fuck you. And then they go, okay, we're kidding. You can have your guns. So let me tell you, because I had, I directly experienced this last week. I bought a gun. I bought a gun last week. This is the first time you've ever owned a gun. No, no, I owned a gun back in the 80s. I used to target shoot with some guys I worked with up in Oakland. But I bought a gun, right? Because all of this went down and people were like, why'd you buy a gun? I said, because the purge went from a movie to a documentary. I don't want to be the only one, you know. But the way I had to do it was you go online and you make an appointment with the gun store and then you show up and you wait outside. Like they come and I bought a Glock, 45. Stepping up. Yeah. So I checked with the gang bangers. They were like, yeah, this is the one you hold sideways. But anyway, you had to wait outside, you know, six feet apart or whatever. And they brought you in one at a time. And then I was able to do it. I did the background check. By the way, the people who fight against the test and the background check, like how like you understand how have you done it? Do you know how easy these questions are? The very easy. This question is on there like, are you a felon? Yes. Are you you know, is there currently a restraining order out against you? Like, well, who who would check yes on that box? Well, you have to find out that you're lying. You'll never get it. Right. Well, you know, I'm pretty confident that I'll pass and I'll get it. And the guy was cool. This is this was one of my concerns was I was because I don't, you know, I don't know what gun store to go to. Right. So so I was I said, man, don't let me walk into some place where there's a big Confederate flag on the wall. In L.A. In L.A. In L.A. County. Yeah, you can find. Yeah. Well, listen, listen, Joe, trust me on this. Trust me on this. They're out there. But anyway, no, the guy was really far country off the five. Yeah. And the funny thing was the one of the big things was the size of my hands. Right. So I have big hands. So he's kind of like, yeah, man, you got to try to literally try it on and see how it fits. And the Glock fit my hand really well. And then I was asking about shotguns and he was like, tell him, because I've fired shotguns, I've done that skeet shooting stuff. And he was talking to me about tactical shotguns. And so so he said, yeah, you want to get he said, you probably want one of these because you don't really have to aim too well when you got one of these. You just blast in the direction. I was like, all right, that sounds good. So I'm probably going to get one of those, too. But yeah. But it was cool. And, you know, I get it like I'm, you know, it's funny because people say that people have accused me of being anti gun. And I'm like, no, I'm not anti gun. I'm pro common sense. I'm pro common sense. But what were your thoughts on gun laws before this? Did you think that people don't need to have guns? No, I never thought people don't need guns. So why do they think you did? Because I've talked about like we we don't need 50 round clips. You know, I had a joke. I said, listen, I got a 50 round clip for self defense. I'm like, if 50 people want to kill you at the same time, maybe it's you. You know, perhaps there's some part of your personality you need to look at. I'll tell you one thing I've always got about guns. I'm a motorcycle guy. I'm a car guy. And I know some gun people. And from the mechanical, artistic point like this is, you know what I mean? Yeah, I get that. Like, yeah, there are guns that are beautiful. Just from a mechanical standpoint, like you look like this is a beautiful thing. And if you want to shoot it and shoot targets and this and that, great. If you want to hunt like you hunt, I called you. You remember, I texted you. Why I said, Joe, if this shit goes down, I'm coming to your bunker because I know you know how to kill animals. Like I got a friend who knows how to kill animals. I'm going to go hang out with him. It would be way more difficult than that. I had this conversation earlier today. Someone was asking me, would you be OK? And I'm like, you probably would not be OK with no civilization because you'd break an ankle and you die. You you get an infection and you die. And good luck finding animals all the time. And what if you run out of arrows or what if you run out of bullets? You can't make your own bullets. Well, it could get real weird real quick. But but all of that aside, but those are the people who I'm like, those are the ones we need to watch, the ones who like I got to have this whole yeah bunker full of ammo and this and that. I have a hundred fifty thousand guns. The government's coming to get me and all that. Like those are the ones. So when I talk about gun laws and that's why I say common sense. There's a common sense level to it, you know, that that I'm OK with. But but no, I'm not anti I'm not anti gun. I mean, the thing about people is they think it's a slippery slope. So if you say I am for the Second Amendment, but I don't think you should have 50 round clips or I don't think you should have. Then they're like, well, who gets to decide who gets to the. Again, common sense, common. You know, you know who should decide should be the majority. It should be people. But again, this is where we're all one side or the other. And common sense is in the middle. If we had a government, a Congress, whatever that could debate and talk about and have input and say, hey, the hunters say that we need this and, you know, now it all makes sense, then you come up with it with a reasonable gun thing. Like, for instance, I think that cars are a good example. Like we regulated guns the way we regulate cars. And essentially you have to have a license. And when you sell it, even privately, if I sell my car to you, I notify the government like, hey, I just sold my car to Joe, VIN number, blah, blah, blah. He's now responsible for it. If the system worked, we'd have a system of common sense. Unfortunately, we just have one extreme or the other. The thing about no guns, it's like, what are you going to do? There's already millions of guns out there. So that's impossible. Like that's an unreasonable thing to say. It's one of those conversations that doesn't have an answer. There's not a clean answer. So when people bring that up, they go, well, Australia did it. Like, OK, first of all, A, there's only 20 million people on the whole fucking continent. And it's the size of the contiguous United States. So there's more people in California than there is in Australia. So shut the fuck up. Yeah. And they also did it over a period of time. They did it pretty quickly. And they did it in a moment of outrage. Exactly. They did it in a moment of outrage. And unfortunately used us as an example. Yeah. You can still get guns over there for hunting, though. People hunt with guns over there. Well, Canada. People hunt in Canada. And Canada had a mass shooting not too long ago. Yeah. Yeah. But so, like you said, it's one of those without an answer. That's the problem. Like if you definitively think that this is the way and you don't see the other side of it, then you're going to always have this polarized argument. Right. Pro-gun, anti-gun. And if people would lose that, if they'd lose the I have to win. Right. And just like, let's come up with a compromise that works. But the gun people, particularly NRA people, they don't think you should give up any ground. Because if you give up any ground from where we are right now, it's just a slippery slope. They're going to keep taking. And they do have a point with some people. Now, a lot of those people that used to think like that now are buying guns. It's hilarious. Buddy Mine's wife was, you're never having a gun. You're never having a gun. This shit went down. You need to get a gun. He said it was a 180 switch and it happened immediately when everything was shutting down. You start thinking of people in their worst case possibility rather than, ah, we live in a nice area. We're fine. Yeah. And again, you're right. Either extreme is impossible. Neither one wants to give up an inch. And you both have to give up an inch. Neither one wants to give an inch. But you both have to give an inch. And you have, you know, and again, this is what we were talking about earlier, where the federal government, the federal government does need to be involved in a sense where you have like Chicago that has a huge gun problem, partly because you can just drive over to Indiana and buy anything you want and bring it to Chicago. Is that what the problem is? Yeah. How close is Indiana to Chicago? Gary, Indiana to Chicago, I think, is like two, three hour drive. Oh, wow. And that's where guns come from. When I grew up in New York City, right, New York City has some of, if not the strictest gun laws in the country. I knew guys. You go down south, you go to Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, buy any gun you want, drive up and sell them in New York. Because remember, our borders, you know, there's no border between states. You drive. I hope that stays the way it is. I know that's a terrible thing, that people are bringing guns from Virginia. But I hope the border thing stays the same. But if you want to drive across the country, you can just go. Yeah, I think the border should stay the same. But I think there has to be some sort of federal oversight to this. So what? Again, what you can buy, what's required to buy it. If you had to provide ID to show who you are and where you live. So now if you're in. To buy a gun, you mean? Yeah. You should have more than that. You should definitely do that, too, though. But that's what I'm saying. So now if you're in one of the more lax states, Virginia, and I'm just using these examples. I don't know specific laws. But a Virginia or Arizona or something like that, you can't just go there. You live in California, live in New York, and go there and buy one. You've got to prove, yeah, I live in Arizona. So I'm subject to Arizona's laws. Yeah. How does that work? If you're a citizen of the United States and you drive to Arizona, can you just buy a gun like you live in Arizona? From what I understand, and listen, I'm far from an expert. I know that experts listen. We should probably Google this. But the gun shows, I think that's where they said you have a lot of. A lot of fuckery in the gun shows. Because the gun shows is just one guy, one person selling to another. And that's where it gets really vague. Yeah, that's the loophole. As to what the rules are. People buy all kinds of illegal shit. Right. So I think in a gun store, you need to provide ID and stuff like that. But the gun shows, yeah, it gets really kind of a gray area. Didn't Bruno, from Sasha Baron Cohen, does Bruno character go to a gun show? Yeah. Super gay character. Yeah, guns are fun. The problem is people are morons. The problem is not that guns aren't fun. I like guns. I have friends who are really gun nuts. I have friends that have so many guns, they don't know how many guns they have. They love guns. And they love them for the mechanical thing. It's their hobby. Like some people are really in the muscle car. And again, I'm absolutely cool with that. Because most of the people, I knew one guy who he was one, like, I'd be worried about. He was one like, hm, yeah, this guy's waiting for a reason. I have a friend who's a gun nut. He got carjacked, and he shot a guy and killed him. But most of the gun guys I knew, they collected them. Like you said, it was like muscle cars or motorcycles or whatever. It was just their thing. And they were good with it. And the other thing is the gun safety. You know, these idiots, like there's so many stories, like, yeah, the gun was in the backseat, and the kid shot the other kid. And it's like, come on. There has to be some kind of safety and liability issue. You know, like. What's morons? Just what it is. It's not you. You would never do that. I would never do that. It's the problem is you're taking something with godlike powers, and you give it to morons. And then there has to be that. You have to somehow regulate the moron. Simple test. You know, man, we've talked to a few people. And yeah, no. It shouldn't be just, are you a felon? It should be like competency tests. You know, I mean, you need a competency test to drive a car because a car could be deadly.