#2071 - Kim Congdon & Sara Weinshenk

Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Welcome to town. Thanks. Like legit. You guys are here now. We're here now. How's it feel? It feels good. Have you said y'all yet? Y'all have been saying y'all. Yeah. Yeah. From Florida. Oh, right. Y'all. Florida's weird. It's like time of Southern, Yeah, like SAW, Saul. What? I saw them. Yeah, I saw them over there. No. I saw them. What are you saying, Saul? I saw him. I saw him. I saw him. But you're saying it all together. I saw him. I saw him over there. Yeah, I saw him over there. I saw him over there. I saw him. No, I saw him. Mm. Oh, okay. Texas they like to say especially. You're especially. Don't love that. Yeah. There's a lot of people that will especially they say that. Yeah. Especially. Hey, hey, hey, that's not the word. Don't say it like that. I like the video that's going viral right now with the red neck dude and he goes You coming And then you Don't call him what I don't know I'm guessing And I'm guessing gay I'm guessing gay but isn't there, that was the thing about that mood that show Ozark. There's a distinction between a redneck and a hillbilly. There he is. Oh, when you're a big guy and someone calls you Hoss, Baba or Big Boy. You call me the evil of a old man. Wow. That's a real guy. That's a real guy. But. That's a real guy. But remember in the mood, did you guys watch Ozark? Netflix show? I watched a little bit of it. Is that with a Jason Bama? Yeah. Yeah, I did watch a lot of it. It's fucking great series. It's fucking great. But there's this really wild lady who's a drug smuggler. [2:00] That older lady. And she kills this dude because he calls her either a redneck or a hillbilly. I forget which one it was. There this giant drug deal with the cartel. And they're about to set this drug deal and the dude said something about them being hillbillies. And so she blows his fucking brains out with a shotgun. It's like, what the fuck? That's crazy. That she was so mad at that. It's like, what the fuck? That's crazy. That she was so mad at that word. That's a white slur. It's either we're red necks and we're not hillbillies or we're hillbillies, not red necks. Which, I mean, they both seem like the same. Hillbillies. Hillbillies, more insulting. I'll tell you that. Is it? like uneducated and incest pretty much. It's like there's red necks, but then if you say like hillbilly, it's like a little more. That's what I think. For in Florida, that's, you would say hillbilly in a more insulting. Like you fucking hillbilly. Interesting because a lot of guys will call themselves hillbilly and be proud of it though. Yeah, but it's more like a self-deprecating thing, like a joke at that point. I don't know. I'm a valley girl. [3:05] I don't know much about Hillbilly redneck. I don't know. I'm talking about my ass too. I'm talking about my ass. I don't understand. I didn't even know until that show that there was an issue with one of those words. I don't even know which one it wanted but. It is with her. With her is, yeah, but she has other issues. I believe that lady's real. That lady, whoever that actress is, who's that woman who played that role? Just looking at it up, I had her name, but. Sorry, that's a... I love that girl. I love that. Oh yeah, crazy. That's Lening. is of now. Oh, yeah, I remember now. Beast, she's so good in that role. Oh my God, you believe every second of every word that comes out of her mouth. You're like, that is that lady. That's a real crazy murder and drug dealer lady. She's shot a guy in the dick. Whoa, I want to act so bad. That looks so fun. [4:01] That does look so fun. You don't like, yeah, acting so fun. That does look so fun. It does look so fun. Yeah, acting so fun. Really? Have you done it? Yeah. I love it. I love it. I love it. What parts do you love? I hate to say this. Sometimes I like it more than staying up. Damn. I just think it's just different. They're just different. I like being someone else other than myself and becoming a different character and actually doing that. I used to do it a lot before I started to stand up and then I found love of stand up and now I'm just like stand up, stand up, stand up. I kind of feel the exact opposite. I like finding a character and finding myself in them. Like instead of not being myself, I like finding a character and then seeing how I would be them and putting myself in them. Like instead of not being myself, I like like finding a character and then seeing how like I would be them and putting myself in their shoes. Like I love that because then I get to see like different perspectives and it's I'm pretty like I have a therapist and he says that I see in black and white. It's either this or that and there's no one between [5:01] cognitive distortions. Yeah, yeah, do. And so when I'm acting, it forces me to have perspective for others. Interesting, because you're pretending to be a person so you're thinking like a person like that would think. When normally I would even consider it, I would be just like, this is the way it is. Right. So it really opens up a whole, it makes me almost more empathetic and everything. It makes me, yeah. So I really like it. Because there is something about being able to think, just think in gray. You know what I mean? So yeah, it's really fun. I didn't, I didn't ever think I would like it, but I fucking love it. Oh, sorry. Who does the phone on Do Not Get Started? Do not get started. I don't know who this is. It's not a number, but the caller ID says, try to judge me, incorporated. Whoa. Wait, that's so weird. That's what's calling you. I think she's screenshot that. I am going to say. That used to be, when I was in my 20s, I tried to start a website called try to judge me dot com with mail. It's you call it. Yeah, that's so weird [6:08] But yeah, whoever that don't get involved with them Try to judge, but who was it to start now to 10 We're gonna fight already their whole name is an argument Energy as soon as you read it. I'll know who that is that don't call me back How many scams do you get like on your phone every day a lot a lot right? Yeah They get numbers sometimes they almost trick me and they're like you missed your package clip this link And I order so much shit and like oh no, they almost get me sometimes. Yeah, there's so many I got no one I got an alert from American Express that says your phone number was leaked on the dark web. Oh, no. And I was like, that sounds really bad. So I called them and they were like, yeah, sometimes that happens. If you get a lot of scam calls, you might have to change your number. Oh, my, who's leaking my number on the fuck? My, I need to change my number. My number's leaked right now. Apparently, and I just haven't, because it's a pain in the ass. [7:06] Do you think we're ever gonna get to a point where numbers are literally gonna be like Instagram DMs? Like everyone's just gonna get your number. For me, it doesn't really make a difference, right? Like if someone has your number versus having access to your DMs, no, can't you just block them? Yeah, you definitely could block them, but then they could start a new account. There's something about having my number that seems a little more threatening than someone just having my... It definitely is, but what I'm saying is when do you think about it, it's kind of the same. Yeah, when you think about it, that's what's weird. It's kind, if you're responding and you have your announcements turned on, your notifications turned on, Those little DMs are gonna show up on your phone, just like a text to it. Yeah, right. Yeah. So what are we doing? Like, they can't actually call you up, but they can. They can go out like a friend of mine called me through Instagram. Is it true? [8:00] That's the scariest. When a random It's like, dude, you can call me over Instagram. Dude, you know what I stopped doing? I stopped so scared. I went live one time and Instagram had requests where people can join your live. I'm like, this might be fun taking in calls. And I had like a thousand people in that shit and I answered and this dude just started stripping as quick as he could on the live. And I was screaming, I didn't know to do. Everybody was like, leave it on. It was pressureing me to leave it on. I didn't wanna make it not entertaining. Like, it was a lot. And that guy just was trying to jerk off as quick as he could on live. And I was like, whoa. That sounds scary. So yeah, there's a whole word they can get into, into your life through via Instagram too. I'll find a way to show you their decks. Imagine being a dude that just sprints to jerk off like the moment people stare at him. So funny. It's my chance. You know what? If you're that horny, sprint to jerk off. Do what you need to do to not shoot up a school. I don't know to tell you. I don't think it's horny people shooting out those schools. I think it is. I think it But a little horny too. Why horny? Because they're probably that's probably a big If you're having regular sex, you're less depressed. If you just came your less like like right after you post not clarity [9:10] No one's gonna shoot up a school right after they just jizz think of the children That's probably also part of the depression is that they're not getting any affection Right, you know hug your local in cell There's some broken humans out there are there's. There's so many people that are lonely. And they're medicated. Well, yeah, you know about broken people when we tried to do, when we, when you open for Joey. Yeah. You know this story? How I got my blue check mark. What happened? You know how I got verified on Instagram? How? Okay. I've been trying to get verified on Instagram for like 10 years, setting in, you've sent in a stupid fucking thing, and you send in the articles that you've been mentioned in, and they would always ignore it. And then last year in November, I was October, we had not turned out. We had Sony Ha. At Broadway, sold out show. [10:01] We were so excited. I had the best set. I just had one of the best sets of my life in this sold out theater. Everyone's like, whoa, literally standing ovation, right? I get off stage. I'm going to get my camera that's on a tripod in the back. And during the chaos that people being like, great job. You have to walk past people to walk out. And then some dude pokes my vagina. Oh, yes. Did you hear this story? Yeah. So he does that. But then when I turn around to see who does it, he acts like he's blind and disabled. So then immediately, I'm like kind of just like my adrenaline is pumping just from the set itself and then that just happened and then I see that it's a blind person. So I'm just like overwhelmed and then people are trying to like say hi and you know, whatever after my set. So I go to sit with Sarah and I go Sarah like some blind dude, just like accidentally poked me in the vagina and she goes, you got to salt it. She got us. What the fuck are you talking about a blind guy touch you in the pussy? She brings me down to reality where I'm like, I have like a moment like that's so raven where I go like, [11:07] and I go like, I got touched. And it turned into like a whole thing. Oh God. Now I'm like kind of pissed that I even let it, because I'm like, because the blind guy walking around still. So now, Sorry, it's crazy. I'm at Joe's on stage. So I'm like, I have an hour to find this. Yeah, he can head sense. There's people at this theater sold out. They're in suits and little, you know, the earpieces that they bring for the president. Yeah. They're doing that little thing. And I gave them a description. I'm like, he looked blind. I don't think he is. He's not really blind. And then I'm like shit, I have my camera set up, so I go and look and you only see the shadows. It's like an SNL sketch, the way you can only see certain shadows and him kind of bump into me and like if something happened and then he walks away and me looking around, but it's just shadows. So I'm like, he has this jaw. So we're zooming in on the jaw and he's like comparing, the staff is like comparing the pictures on their phones to the people in the crowd. So crazy. [12:05] Everyone's looking for this dude. Then the server comes up and she goes, I have a guy in the back throwing up with his friend. He's throwing up in a trash can. I'm like, let me go look. So I take a peek in the back and I'm like, that's him. Immediately. And you know what's fucked up is that he looked a lot like this guy I know that works at Gastigital who's blind. Who's blind? He looks like they call him gay blind mic, a Gastigital and he looks a lot like him so I thought I was being like gay racist or a blind racist? Blind, yeah. Blind racist. Or I was like maybe I'll blind people look alike and there's like, so I was like, it's him. So then they're like, we'll take care of it and they start escorting them out. And I guess he gets away and runs out, right? Before they can get his idea and his information. Which annoys me, but I'm gonna let it go. They're like, he got away. But like, Yeah, but was he so drunk he was throwing up a trash can and they catch him. No, he like, I don't know how he got away. I wasn't there to see it. [13:06] That's why I should have been there. But then it gets crazy. But then, okay, so then I'm like kind of pissed that he got away because I'm like, he just got away with that and then I'm like, gaslighting myself, like did he even do it to touch Kim Congdon's pussy. So then, so then I mean, this is like, at this point, Joey's off stage, I haven't even told them about that. I'm drinking champagne. There's a huge party in the green room and I just got told this like by the door and without saying anything to anyone, I just get up and I go outside. I just beeline it for the exit and I'm, and security, I can hear them trying to keep up with me. And I'm like kicking doors open. I'm fucking pissed now. Cause now I'm like, he did it on fucking purpose. And he's a fan and he knows my name and like, now it's a problem for me, you know? And then I don't even know if I should say the next part, but I found him outside. Should you not say this part? I found him outside. She, she found him outside. [14:06] I found him outside. And then they were like doing a call to cops. I was like, no. She took care of it herself. That's, yeah. One thing about mommy, she gonna do it herself. Yeah, like no one would be mad at you for doing that. No, especially it's a guy. You started with a bitch slap. Yeah, like no one would be mad at you for doing that. No. Especially it's a guy. You started with a bitch slap. That's all I'll say. Started with that? Yeah. Yeah. How did you like to see? Like was he recognizing how bad he fucked up? Like what was he thinking? Well, he said that on his way out, so he was proud of it. That's the thing that pissed me off. I would have let it almost go, because I was like, he's drunk. But the fact that he said that, he had like, nerve still. You know what I mean? He was sober enough to be a fucking dick. But then? So you're sober enough to get your ass kicked. The whole night wouldn't different, because I was like, my friend got touched. We're kicked open the door. There was a bunch of fans outside because they're always just ended so they're all waiting to say hi. And I just had a great set. Yeah, and I just had a great set. [15:09] So they immediately remember my name and I have all these fans are going Kim and I say nothing past them. All they see is me kick open the door. Go pass them. I mean, absolutely from the hook from the hip like I'm throwing a hook. Open hand drops someone, dropped him with an open hand, and then, and then yeah. But then there was a variety article about it, and that's how this bitch got verified. And then she accused that article to get her checkmark. That was the checkmark. That was how I got my verify checkmark. Checkmark. And honestly, worth it. I was like oh That's all it to I like to blind man would come touch my vagina Be careful, she would just Don't wish without out loud. Yeah, she's joking everyone if there's a blind man in there that's like I've been waiting for my time [16:00] That's a dude he gets his strategies from like a Scooby-Doo episode Just pretend you're blind Well, I'm a dumbass. I fell for it That's a dude he gets his strategies from like a Scooby-Doo episode Well, I'm a dumbass I fell for it. I'll think I'll use blind the boy. You have a cane No, yeah Who the fuck is blind just watch out about a cane? I didn't have time to think about it. I don't think about the habits of the blind post show like Post-touch right post-touch and then Yeah, afterward that we saw, you know those like LED balloons that line up. The clear ones that Disney sells. Sarah was trying to make me feel better in any way. She was like, I'll get you Chinese. Do you want an egg roll? I'll buy it. You got touch. She kept saying that. She kept saying you got touch. And everybody kept try me. When mommy gets touched, mama eats Chinese too. Yeah. And then she tried to buy me the balloon. And I was like, I don't want a balloon. She's like, you love those balloons. She remembered, I mentioned them before. She was like, you love those balloons. I'll get that balloon for you. You got touched. So she literally, I'm like, say, I know. She's like, no she has to come back and tell me you're not getting the balloon in [17:05] you got to touch you and so now every time I see that balloon I know and I was gonna get you one of them for your birthday I was like no I know she likes those balloons that it's gonna remind her of getting touched but now we just bring it up every time we want to tell this right I got very bad anyways. That's the most hilarious way to get very bad. Right. That's so crazy. Yeah, it was really funny. I was at the comedy store telling people that. I'm like, so I got touched for a blue check mark. And then I was telling them how my mom was coming in a town and how she's kind of crazy in a little while. You've met my mom before. A little crazy. And she, I made her die her hair back because she dyed it blue. Bright blue. And I was like, don't come to Ella with blue hair please. I was like, I'm going back to blonde. I was like, please. And so, yeah. You did? Well, she was thinking about it and I encouraged it. And then I was like, yeah, dye your hair back and then I was hung that story. [18:00] And I was like, I don't know, my mom's just crazy and she likes to party. I was like, I don't know what happened or she has blue hair and someone goes, that's her blue check mark. I was like, oh, shit! Oh, shit! Isn't it weird that Twitter, like Twitter you pay for a check mark, right? Yeah, yeah, that went, that's my video. That's my Instagram now. Instagram too. So does that mean, but you can pretend to be, can you pretend to be somebody and get a check? I mean, you can, you can, no, anyone can get a check mark. I'm not obvious when someone's pretending though. Or a verification. What does it, what does it mean? Nothing anymore. So like, if you have just a regular account and you have a blue check mark, does it give you access to other things? Like, what's the, the point of it? I think it's just like to have one. There's people that get blue check marks and then they try to like reach out to people who also have blue check marks to like collaborate. You know what I mean? And they're like, oh, I have a blue check mark so I'm really official now. And it makes it like see. But you can tell because they have like 16 likes. [19:01] What used to make sense is if it was if like the Sarah Wine shank Twitter account was verified because you're a person, a public person. Right. That makes sense. That should be verified. Right. Like everybody knows this is her. So if there's a fake one, which there probably is a bunch of them, everybody knows the difference between the real one, the fake one, the real one is the blue check mark. But if you could just buy a blue check mark, what does that mean? Yeah. No, I know. It kind of lost value when you could buy one. Everybody was saying that. Especially for people like journalists or politicians, because if you can fake being them and just get traction on tweets, like I'm sure those Russian troll farms do shit like that. I'm sure they do that. I'm sure they make fake accounts. I'm sure they do. They have thousands. Who knows how many they have? They found that 19 of the top 20 Facebook Christian webpages were run by Russian troll farms. 19. Whoa. That's funny. That's the final. That is so funny. [20:00] They just turn people on each other. That's so crazy. Yeah. Well, I'm waiting for the day that we're a pants. I'm waiting for the day that internet the solar flare happens. We all go down. That could happen. That's very likely. Very soon, right? It's very unpredictable how the sun works. I mean, not how it works like physically to understand it, but like whether or not you get flares. And some of these flares, have you ever seen what it looks like when you see a solar flare superimposed with a picture of Earth, like the size of Earth? It's wild how big these things are. Really? They, they, they're so huge. The fucking sun is so gigantic. Oh, it's not even a big sun. It's so insane. When you look at it in comparison to the rest of the Sources tomorrow. There's a solar flare tomorrow. God dammit Jamie. There's a solar flare okay. We'll be okay. [21:06] Sweetie, I'll be banging on your gate or wherever you live. Come on in. I'll show you. I'll show you in the right corner. Just me and my mom, her hair's not blue anymore. Okay. Can your mom shoot? I just want shooting. You guys want shooting together? She actually can shoot. I can shoot. Yeah, you should have seen my my little thing. So listen to what it says. It says NASA predicts radio and GPS blackout on November 30. That's two days from now. It's one day. One day tomorrow. Oh great. They're gonna go. They're gonna bring the aliens in tomorrow due to a coronal mass ejection. Okay. Now look at coronal mass ejection. I'm scared. Look what these things look like. And this is like the NASA website? And it's tomorrow? Yeah. But this is what this pod's not coming out of this. Look at this fucking thing that's hovering in space that keeps us alive. [22:00] It looks like a hot cheeto. Imagine. We need this thing to generate heat. And if it doesn't generate heat, we're dead. We rely on a nuclear power plant for the whole universe. Yeah, but you know when you were talking about the guy that you have tattooed on you, the five rings guy? The Sam Rang. I know, like when I look at the sun, I also think of my heart where I'm like, I need it to pump every time to survive. Where I'm like, it's all the same thing, where it's like one little adjustment almost anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere, it's over. Mm. Yeah. That's fucked, dude. That's fucked. That is. The balance between life and death with earth. Oh, God. Like, all we have to do is just get a little further from the sun and we're fucksville. I mean, that's- Everything freezes. That's how fucking weird it is. One little one little shift in gravity. It's so scary. Apparently, if our moon wasn't there, our moon is so large that it keeps our orbit and you know, our weather fairly stable. You know, there's something about the earth being, and it keeps our, I'm fucking this [23:04] up for sure. But there's something about the earth being balanced by the moon that it helps sustain life. Yeah, it's like getting in the Yang. Which is one of the reasons why some people are wondering why they're not seeing life on other planets. Like what is it about earth? And it seems one of the things about earth is the stability that the moon gives us But see find out what it does You remind me this video. I saw just recently. Have you seen this before fresh take on the origin of earth's moon? Oh Jesus that's a jellyfish of what like this is like when the big bang happens So this is earth this glowing ball moving right? Something went by it and hit it. Yeah it yeah created the moon and that's what's still like these are yeah giant well that's that's earth one in earth two that's what just reabsorbed yeah and that this is gonna be the moon here but like that happened over you know thousands and thousands yeah yeah yeah that's what they think the moons for sure a woman we've [24:03] talked about it before like that like that. Like that's what happened. Two planets collided kids. Kind of sexual. Holy shit is it sexual because it created everything. They smashed. And it's the same thing as the other things. Everything's the same. Not to be so high about it. What do you mean? It's the same thing as everything else. It's literally, it literally is sexual. It's like how do you two people come together and have a child? Yeah, well, trippy. All of those like solar nurseries, have you seen those? The stellar nurseries, there's just the wildest formations of galaxies where these galaxies are coming out of this this stellar nursery. it's fucking nuts. We see in the video where they go to Earth and then they pull out and just show you where you are. Oh, it's sick. This is a stellar nursery visualization. What? Yeah, this is something that exists 6,500 light years away. That is so cool looking. [25:01] Fucking wild. I wanna know what what is there? It looks like a wizard in a hat holding something. It does, it really does. I mean, how fucking insane is this? This is nuts. What is that even? I don't understand it. But whatever this visualization is, I would love to see like what perspective we're looking at. Like how big is this? How big is it, is it a physical thing you can land on I don't know what the fuck it makes me feel like a waterfall Look it it looks like a waterfall it looks like some avatar shit. It's really nice. It's beautiful This is like what the mother would give through the tree Raining down from newly born massive stars Wind from stars viewed in infrared stars wind from stars? Holy shit! How wise I like it, Nare! Are I could see that without this data though? [26:00] When you see shit like this it makes me feel like there has to be a god. No but this is Like when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when not real footage. So how do we know? Well because they use various imaging tools to get an understanding of what's out there. And the greatest one they're using right now is the web. They've got this new telescope that is getting these insane shots of like deep space. And a lot of it is computer generated. So a lot of what you see when you see these images is computer generated. But there's some real images. They're not as impressive. It's kind of different. So this computer generated stuff when they're showing you like the stellar nursery, like that's, I don't believe that's what it really looks like. With infrared light. It looks like our GnR. [27:01] I see that. But how detailed are their infrareds? Like how much are they guessing? Because I know they add color to these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do a lot of stuff. So it's computer generated to a certain extent. But anyway, it's fucking just what they're discovering is just a wild. It is. It's the nutty speculation that Brian Keating hates. But some people are speculating that the universe is a lot older than they thought it was. They think that the big bang, instead of 13.7 billion years, was somewhere around like 22 or 24 billion years ago. It seemed a little close for me, sweetie. It's something about the creation of galaxies. That galaxies are created too far away, because the further they can look, something like that. I'm good. There's some wacky shoe, but the point is like there's so much that they don't know already There's so many planets the no idea what's out there isn't there one that's just like earth is called like I don't know what it's called I do not know I think they found a few that are in the Goldilocks zone [28:02] Ooh the Goldilocks, yeah, that the Goldilocks zone. That's not too hot, not too cold. Just one is just right. That's where Earth is too. Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah, Earth is in the Goldilocks zone. It's crazy. It's crazy. We're so lucky. We're super lucky, but we're also not lucky. Because we're in the middle of a comet storm. Every September and no June and November, we pass through these comet storms. Here's a for instance of it like this is a website on a how to get this. I guess we could download this data from the web telescope and process these images ourselves. So this is what it looks like. I guess when you first get some of the first pictures. Oh, that's beautiful too. Processed it black and white and then he took that and made made it That's see I kind of rather just look at the other one You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, the other one was sick because this is real This is what you can really put a filter on it Yeah, don't do the Samsung thing. You know what Samsung did with the moon view. Oh, I was such a sucker [29:01] I was showing everybody Oh, yeah, yeah Because when you know when you take your photo with your iPhone and you're like that Oh, I was such a sucker. I was showing everybody. Oh, yeah, yeah, the moon. Because when you know when you take your photo with your iPhone and you're like, that doesn't do a justice, Samsung did some shit where it enhances it, right? Yes, called lying. Yeah, they filter in the moon, Samsung. I just say they have amazing cameras. Those Samsung phones have wicked cameras. They really do. And they're like all battling with each other for who has the best camera with its iPhone or I like the iPhone operating system better, but Samsung has some wicked fucking cameras. So anyway, What what it actually does is it just knows what the moon looks like and it puts a fucking detailed photo of the moon That's right. over whatever blurry shit you have and these kids found it out because they This dude set up a over whatever blurry shit you have. And these kids found it out because they, this dude set up a picture of a blurry picture of the moon on a screen, a monitor, and then backed up and filmed it. And it gave him a perfectly detailed photo of the moon. Oh, wow. [30:01] They played dirty. Wow. They played super dirty. What a smart kid. I know, but I was such a sucker. I was like, dude, Samsung phones look like fucking a bitch ass iPhone. Look at this, they can't do this. I wish the iPhone had that too kind of. Yeah, lie to me. You know what I'm saying? I want to fix your moon. I want to sexy or picture the moon. I took this picture. Total bullshit computer generated nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. The whole filter thing is weird. When people use filters for videos and you're like, hey man, I know you don't look like that. This is crazy. Like what are you doing? Are you animated? Yeah. You know what's really dark? Remember that wish dot com saying what's wish dot? We had a filter picture that we put filters on and we posted and then someone posted a real video of us and said It was Kim Kim Kongden on wish the Kim Kongden in Sarah you order Kim and Sarah that you ordered the Kim Congdon from wish [31:05] So that's where it'll get you if you start using filters then you can't really you just gotta it actually makes you look worse in real life I think and it's making everyone look inside our lifetime. They're gonna reverse aging Inside our lifetime inside our life. I've actually always believed that so I really like to hear you say that I've been terrified of death my whole life and I've just convinced myself to feel better that by the time I'm not old I can go back I think they're working really hard on it and they're coming very close and I think there's gonna be some improvements in but whether it's you know whether it's Pharmaceutical drugs or medical technology. They're gonna figure something out because it's a simulation know, whether it's pharmaceutical drugs or medical technology, they're going to figure something out. Because it's a simulation and we don't actually ever end. That's what Berk Khrysher says. He goes, I don't believe you die. Prove it. Yeah, though, that's a thing comics have. I think you have to die. That's what you've been talking about. [32:00] No, I've read, I've read into that. That's mental illness that comics have. I have that too. I'm like, I'll never die. It's like you are like in such denial. I've accepted it. No, I'm like death. Yeah. It's feel like if you think of the fact that you're gonna die, it makes you live every day differently. No. That's how I feel. Well, it definitely will, if you feel that way. Yeah, I think about it all the time and instead of like fearing it, I'm like, okay, well, fuck it, I'm having the burrito. You know what I mean? It's just Chinese food or burritos. Sometimes you gotta self-care as a burrito. Yeah, if you live your life with the gratitude that you're alive, you'll do better. That I do. For whatever reason, if it's because you realize you're gonna die or it's because you're just happy to be alive. I'm genuinely grateful. I'm like, we're very lucky. We're all very lucky. Me and my friends are all lucky. We get to hang out with the funniest people in the world. We do the best. We were all talking about it last night, the green room, like what a fun last night. It's so silly. So much fun. It's so silly. When I'm around comedians, if I'm not around comedians, [33:08] I get homesick for them. That's what Stan Hope said. He goes, I could quit comedy, but I couldn't quit comedians. Yeah. Yeah. It's really about the comics, the hang for me. It's the hang is the most fun. The hang's why I got into it. I got to tell you that hang was it. It's the clubhouse like Ron White always says and he's like we got our own clubhouse. It's like comics clubhouse. That's what he's saying when I'm knocking on the door. Can I come in? He's like no. It's not up in there too with the tires and the screens and it's like it's so perfect. You don't have to worry about even like you've taken every single worry about a comedy club away too. When I'm at clubs, I can't even relax in the green room because I'm running out asking the host, how long do they have? When do I have to go up? You just sit there, you see the timer, you see them on stage, you see the fucking clock. There's lights everywhere. There's lights everywhere, it's right there. There's a light in the hallway, there's a light right above the stage in the back. That's great. I have a question. Do you believe in reincarnation? [34:06] I don't not believe in it. Do you think you were something else in a past life? I don't know. Sometimes I think I was a 1950s housewife in a past life. Like I'm overly connected to that time period and I'm like, was I a 1950s housewife? She comes when she gets hit. Is this from dreams? Yeah. Dreams? Sometimes when she gets hit. It's just from dreams. Yeah. Dreams, like what, do you ever wonder, like what, if you ever ever repeating dreams? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I had to see a doctor because I had the same dream for five years. What is it? I was at this beach. It was my college town. I was at this beach and I would be in a haunted and I would have to stay paradise, but every night I was like skated. But I also remember we found out I was also having the same dream. Yeah, we were going in the same places in our dream But I also saw on TikTok that a lot of people were going to the same dream that I was going to Why yeah, they were describing the same peer I was at and like everything. This is after you put yours up [35:01] This is after I this is Russian disinformation. That's how they're trying to break us down. No, this is something I hadn't even talked about publicly for a while until I found that tick talk of a bunch of people saying I've been here too and then describing it. And even down to people saying like, oh, someone even like, and then you can see how many people agree by all the likes. There's one that had like a lot of likes and said, I go to the beach every night to the same exact beach except I have to stay in a haunted condo. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not a bunch of people. I'm not. You get you in your dreams. I think, look. Nah. Okay. Stop. Because I'm really scared. Leave. Stop. You don't. This is worse than a solar flash. You can't go to sleep, it's always hard. Have you got to sleep Freddy's right for you? [36:00] The music. I don't like it. Imagine if everybody really starts going to the same place in their dreams and then some people start dying. Some people start dying. I mean at first they blame it on the vaccine of course. Then they start realizing, no, these people are all dying of internal hemorrhaging that we can't really discern what's coming while they're sleeping. This is just a new disease. What's happening? No, no, no, no. They're getting eviscerated by demons. I don't want to be eviscerated by demons at night. You get eviscerated by demons in your sleep. And then you wake up. You know, it's a dream. You know, if you wake up, you can get away. I don't know what that cross joint did time you go back to sleep, they're just ready and running at you. And you're tired. You're tired because you're sleep. You're always tired. So you breathe in the head. You're breathing too heavy. Like, God, why am I so tired so quick? I gotta run faster. You can't run for making horror films. And the demons, they know exactly how fast you Exactly he won't give up he won't just run Stitcher he is I don't like [37:07] Knipping at me even demon hypnotized laughing because they know you're scared Want you to be scared um laughing they're laughing right behind you because they know you can't get away We're just running just I don't know you can't worry not worried at all They're demons their whole little pitch forks. They're laughing. No as they laughing you're getting more scared Because you know you can't run much longer. Do you think it'd be fun to sex with a demon? No, first few seconds I do too. Fuck you mom Show me that picture That's exactly how it's This is for everything you've done for me mascara runs down Show me that pitch for. That's exactly how it feels. You proud of your dad. Yes. This is for everything you've done for me, Mascara runs down. No. I have a rear. But then you feel the scales. No. I have a reoccurring nightmare that I'm back in college and I have a calculus test. [38:01] Ooh. Yeah, that's a... I'm scared I'm not gonna graduate. Yes, it's reoccurring like all the time. I used to have dreams that I failed, one of my exams that I had to go back to high school. Yes, I have that, I have that often, like reoccurring and also my teeth fall out, like I had one of those. I had one of those once time. I touch one and then they go like dominoes and they all fall out and I'm like no There's supposed to be some connection with that they say people that's like you you feel like you don't have control of your life Yeah, that seems about right I mean who does I'm really perceptive guys Yeah, no fucked Fucked up dreams. You know, I had a friend pass away like seven years ago, and this is really, this is scary, not scary. It's pretty trippy, but very true. I was dating someone at this time and he was staying with me. And I had, I never had night terrors where I woke out about my sleep ever in my entire [39:00] life. And I had one one night where I woke up and I, because I had a dream that someone came in my room while I was watching TV at night in my bed and they were wearing a hoodie I couldn't see their face. And their face was like blacked out. And they sat next to me in bed and then pulled out a gun and shot themselves in the head and died next to me. And it was someone, and I could tell someone I cared about because I wasn't scared when they were sitting next to me. It felt like a friend. And I said, like, why did you do that in my dream? And the person said, I'm sorry, I'm dying. And then three hours later, I got to call that my best friend died. And that was the dream I had that night. And it was the only dream that's ever woken me up out of my sleep where I was so terrified I woke up. Kima is a little intuitive. It was really weird. Well, Kim's a little nutty. She is. Most nutty people, they can sense some things that make like you ever wonder like schizophrenia, when they're running around talking themselves. I'm saying I'm schizophrenia. No, no, no, I'm not. But if you ever wonder, maybe someone's talking back to them. I think that all the time, because sometimes I hear them say things that make sense. Well, yeah, I also went into a, when Brody died, [40:07] I went into an actual psychosis. I was taking Adderall for a lot of years, and then I stopped taking it suddenly because I wanted to sleep and I was so sad that he had died. I abruptly stopped taking Adderall, and it put me in like this wild psychosis. And now I talk about it all the time because it's so mass like prescribed, it's insane. Well, it's an emphetamine. Yeah, it's meth. Well, it's better. Yeah. If you're gonna take one, I take out a wrong. It's better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they can. You know exactly what you're gonna get. Right. The dosage. Isn't it fascinating that it's okay to take that? I mean, they say you need it for ADD. It made me say you need it. It really like, because I got, I started taking it in college, right? Because I was like, I gotta do this paper, you know? Because as a society, we put so much, we put a spotlight on productivity. [41:01] It's like, how productive are you being? Like, and not really on well-being. And because of that, I got really addicted to it. And then when I started stand up, I was like a personal assistant during the day. So I'd be like, on Excel sheets all day. And then going to do stand up. And so just like a wake and a wake and a wake for like 10 years. And then I'm like, it's really nice to sleep. Not being an adder all, it's so nice sleeping. Were you able to sleep when you were on adder all? No. So how many hours a night do you think you slept? Probably like four. Whoa. And they weren't real, it wasn't even real sleep. Damn. Because none of you got like a tolerance to it, right? And the company that fucking person, listen to this shit's crazy. The company that person, okay, to get Adderall, there is this place. I went on Yelp and typed in Adderall, this place comes up. Jesus. I'm not joking, this place comes up. The doctor who prescribed it to me is now in jail because he was prescribing stuff to people like Willie Nilly. [42:03] Yeah, that's real common. It's really scary. Well, a lot of these doctors are also taking these things, which is interesting, because if you're a doctor and you know that these things work and you decide that you have ADD or whatever and you go to your other doctor friend, he writes a prescription for you. Right. And now you're taking Adderall and you need it because you need it. Like a lot of people just think they need it because it is probably great. Like I haven't done it. I'm scared. I'm scared I'd like it. Oh no, you like it. That's the problem. The trauma tapping you did. This is how it, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I remember I was like, I'm typing on a computer. Yeah, that's what it reminded me of. But yeah, when you went through that, that was like fucking crazy. It was so scary. It was crazy. It was really scary. I called the cops on her. My parents did too. Yeah. Look, it's hard. [43:01] People get hooked on pills. There's a lot of pills that can get you Grateful every day to not be on it Brandon child broke his nose and a fight Crow cop we fought Mirko Crow cop and you got his nose smashed and he had to get his nose fixed and They put him on oxys and so he took the oxys got the surgery. He got it. He means his nose was destroyed took the oxies, got the surgery, got it, I mean, his nose was destroyed. Gets the, takes the oxies and then just keeps taking them. Just keeps them like long after the healing process. He's fucking taking them all day long. And finally his friends just came over to his house and took everything away and they didn't take dude. It's easy. You gotta stop. But it was hard. He said it was fucking hard it was really hard to get off of a batter all to and then now I know I have some friends who are still on it and there's like a shortage of it so and there's people that are hooked on it and there's this shortage of it like nationwide and it's really fucking people shit up because they've been taking it for so [44:00] long and then the problem is then they go for street Adderall, which is cut with fentanyl. I mean, also a lot of people get on Adderall because they want to lose weight because it makes you skinny. And when you're a what? You're not hungry. No, it's so fucked up. That was one of the benefits for me too. Because when you're a woman, everybody's having a perfectionist. Yeah. It's like it all. What exactly were you're supposed to be doing? I baked a pie and also called my grandmother. I get it. And the house is clean and I'm a stand-up comedian. And my hair is done. I'm telling you right now, I don't remember who said this, but it was a famous woman. She said if my apartment's clean, my work's not doing well. It's like, for me, it really is one or the other. If my place is clean, I haven't had a set in a couple days. You know what I mean? I've been at home. If I'm doing well, I have boxes in my house that are just half open. I got bags of stuff. I'm like, I don't know what that is. I haven't packed from the last trip before the next trip. [45:01] That's really interesting. It's really interesting. She said that. I think creative people would probably agree with that. Like especially when you get on a, like if you're on something, like you're working on something and you like really into it, I don't give a fuck what's going on around me. That was like, I'm just focused on what I'm doing. I got empty cans and shit. We just wrote a movie together in that whole time. My apartment was fucked up same Same it was a bear say it was embarrassing. That's right. Yeah But you I gotta tell you being a creative is embarrassing being a creative. It's embarrassing It is you're meeting because you're really meeting at like coffee shops in between our house to go to right and I'm like a loud quiet. I'm like I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing. I would rather people not know I'm writing a script and Sarah's like, okay, if we say throbbing instead of pulsating. I'm like, I'm like, it's like exterior, day. Did you write that? I'm like, shh. I like it embarrassed and Sarah does it. I don't get embarrassed. I think you cooked that part of your brain off without a while. Hell yeah. [46:05] Just frighten. That embarrassed machine is just fucking... I'm like, shit. Oh my God, I don't get humiliated like that. You got red line too long. Well, because if I hear people, go! Well, it's also a me thing, because if I hear people writing a script out, I'm like, okay. Right, that know. Well, it's also like how many of those people are dreamers. That's what I mean. And people don't realize that I'm not. So they don't know and they think I am, even though I shouldn't care. I'm like, I don't give a fuck with these people. Alright, exterior day. We're in the attic. Did you write that? How much? You know, I talked Mark Greeney, he's a guy wrote that book The Gray Man and they did that Ryan Reynolds. It's Ryan Reynolds, right? He's the one who played it and it was a Netflix movie, but it's really good book series and he writes in coffee shops Did I read man's Ryan Gosling God damn it? I was fuck those dudes up they're both great. I don't [47:06] those two's up they're both great I don't you expect they're both great they are great he's really good good in the great man and it's this guy writes in coffee shops and I was like my wife you get a house like why aren't you writing your house it's different people like writing in public around people they want to feel people's weirdness and energy it's fun to people watch too to like it gives your brain a break if you want to your friendship, write a script with your best friend. Oh yeah. Do anything with your best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I break stuff with people. It can get taxing. I can. It can. But then we went to Hawaii and we healed. We said that Hawaii healed our body. We saved our marriage. Oh. It did. It healed us. We were in Kauai and boy did we have a time. We had you guys are such a good compliment of each other though like when you guys are doing your podcast. It's like watching like if you ever see a show where they just take two people and they put them together and they force That's because of morning, Joe. That's called Kill Tony. That's how we met. [48:06] That's how we met. Right. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, you are spalled on with that. That is exactly what happened. We were both the regulars had to do a minute together and then eventually you're like, we should write this together every week. Yeah. And then we're like, oh, I guess we're best friends. You guys are just a good hang and so like that comes that comes across when you do your podcast. Yeah, so you're just talking shit Oh, we get into adventures We're actual friends, you know and the last time you guys were on you exposed to cult This video I'll tell you something the ladies of skydiving have come after us the ladies of skydiver I didn't know that that was such a group. There is a union? I don't know, but there have been. Are they organized? They're angry. They're angry for exposing the cult. For exposing the up, up, a legend cult. A legend. And was it off to do with Skydiving again? The owner of the a legend cult, [49:02] Jacques Something, a big Skydiver. Oh, he started this, a big skydiver. He started making parachutes. He made the first certain kind of parachute. Oh, okay. And also has a piece of the Eiffel Tower, remember? That's right. The stairs. So the skydivers are coming after you guys. Oh yeah. And they said they have biker friends. Oh, biker friends. Oh Did the annoying ones to take up the lanes and their bicycles or the ones in the More like hell's angels when I hear bikers I like the thought of bikers and skydivers Collabbing to be hands-era Especially like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, especially like bicycle bicycler's. Yeah, I don't know. It was a little nervous when everyone started, when all those videos started going viral. I was like, I hope the cult doesn't come after us. There are so many people that ride their bike on the highway out here. It's wild. I hate those people. I'm like, what are you doing? I was watching this couple and they were riding their bike. Everyone's going by them literally two feet away, going 60 miles an hour and they're on the side [50:11] pedaling their bike. Anything can go wrong. Anybody could bump someone. Anybody can get a blow out. All that shit is happening. Who is? Who is? Who is? and you're like, dude, I know. I'm about here being healthy. I'm about here looking to wake in my life. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Bitch, what are you doing? I just saw a cyclist on Thanksgiving. I saw one on Thanksgiving and he's like, I'm biking to my mom's house 25 miles away. And I was like, like up a mountain, it was gonna take seven hours, and he was gonna get there for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm like, just go eat dinner with your family, dude. Like, just go eat. Just buy a peloton, call it. Well, I guess it's an adventure that way. Take the bike all the way. But it hurts the whole time. You see those dudes that walk all the way across their country? There's like these crazy trails that they do. Like, was that the Appalachian trail? Are they homeless? I think Ariana sees such stuff like that. [51:06] Days and days and days and days of walking. And they have these little places that can camp out on the way because other people do the hike too. So you're always running in serial killers. You ever walked my nose? That's enough. How many serial killers are out there in that woods? So many serial killers. Like that's probably the way to serial kill. If you want to find a serial killer, go to the woods. Go to the woods. Go to a trail in the woods. In the middle of nowhere. What are you hiking out here for? Mm-hmm. I do love hiking. Me too. It's hard as a woman, but yeah, it's fun. Yeah. It's right. I love being outside. Yeah, you're in the woods already. Yeah, bringing yourself into the woods. Yeah, I don't even have to drag you in there. The last time I went hiking, I went on a different hike than I normally do with less people because I like it more, but it's like never anyone around and it makes me a little nervous. Yeah. So I did it and I could see one man at the top of the hike and he was just there the whole time. I'm like, oh, and then when I got to the top, it was a door guy from the comedy store. [52:06] Yeah. Oh, hey, Kim. I'm like, hey, Renee. I know, Renee. That's so funny. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. So I was like, thank God. Yeah, there's something about working out outside that I really love. Like it feels very calming and meditative and like life giving, but you get back. Sure. Sure, you're in the sun. In the sun. It's good for you. Yeah. It was good for you. It was so nice to, it was our first real vacation and so long when we went to Hawaii. If I'm at the beach, I'm pretty embarrassing. Dude, we're supposed to get sun all the time. But one of the reasons why you feel good when you're on vacation, you're getting all that vitamin D. Tell Joe how I was in the ocean. Sarah's tanning. Yeah. I'm like snorkel on, have a tube where the water's breaking, and I'm trying to dive through the tube. I'm riding the tube onto the sand. I'm flipping my, I like, if I get a beach on the sand, I don't leave the water until like my lips are like blue and my hands are like wringled [53:08] like I'll just like flow with a snorkel like I'm dead and let the waves wash me in and drag me out and wash me in. We got to tell it's hours. I never gets old to me. I tell them about the turtles. About how we got here. Okay. Got him. Got him. He's like, I got here. Okay. That's how he humiliated and co-ye. Hold on. And she gets embarrassed. I don't, I didn't give a fuck. Oh, I got embarrassed because we went to this beach where I guess the sea turtles swim up. Poipoo. Yeah. And I'm like very aware of not touching anything, staying away, giving everything its space. So I'm trying to do that, but the tourists are kind of chasing the turtle to where it runs into me. And it's trying to escape, and I'm trying not to move so it can go around me, but it doesn't know where to go. And right then, this lady comes with a megaphone. She's like, step away from the turtle. She's like, you're just an eye-arty. And I am mortified. [54:01] I'm like, I hope nobody listens to the pod. I'm getting in front of a bunch of people getting yelled at. And then she's in flippers. And then in flippers. So you have to get out of the water in flippers, like embarrassed while everybody watches you leave. Okay, she's like, I couldn't, I couldn't wanna go for like four hours. Sarah was like, who gives a fuck? She's like taking pictures of the turtles. I was like, no, they all know me as the turtles' disturber. Because she said I was stressing them out. I was like, I didn't know you were stressing this. Oh my God. She was like a turtle beach Karen. I was like, bitch, you're stressing us out. What are the most, what is it? Mushroom. Oh, how dare you. I think you give people lions made mushrooms. This is literally an Omega vitamin. I didn't have another mushroom. I just had an Omega. Sea carons are a special breed. Oh, sea carons, they'll get you. I was watching a sea caron once in Malibu. In Malibu, these guys were on the beach and they were fishing. [55:02] And they caught a stingray. And as they're pulling the stingray and this lady comes out of her back porch and runs down the beach yelling, put it back, put it back in the water. Yes, put it back and you do not have to put a stingray back in the water. But you can eat a stingray if you so choose to. But if you wanted to, yes. I feel like you were taste good. I've had it. Did you suck tea? No, I had it on a menu at a restaurant. Is it very good? No. It's like a fish. It's interesting. It's an interesting flavor. But I mean, it's something that people eat. So like if you're fishing for food and a stingray comes in, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to eat them. Google and find out if that's true. Pretty sure you're allowed to eat them. Yeah, there are lots of sea carrots. But the sea Karen, she came out and she was like, demanding, they comply. Oh my God. Because that's all public land. That's what's so wild about having a house in Malibu. You have this like super dope house. Is it legal to catch thingways? A loud statewide, mostly Stingrays allowed statewide mostly taken in Southern California. Okay. So it's totally legal. Yeah, you're alone [56:06] My dad was a fish. You don't have to release them. It's I mean catch them means eat them Yeah, you can eat them, but this lady was demanding imagine catching and releasing stingrays You know that you know the movie the perfect storm do you remember the movie? Stingrays are cool. They are cool and they're I do remember they're kind of cute. Sometimes you look at them and they're smiling. They do look like people. Oddly like aliens got stuck inside of a fish. Yeah, they do seem alien like same with jellyfish. Yeah, they're alien like an alien. Alien is hell. The sea, the stuff in the sea, very alien. Yeah. I agree. You know, they did some study recently where they showed that jellyfish, despite not having a brain, they seem to be able to learn. Now they're not trying to figure out, well, how have they learned it? I know how they learn. Vibes. Vibes, man. They feel the vibes. They feel the vibes. Yeah, because we don't have a brain to feel the vibes. What if we live in a vibrational universe where everything is frequency, it would make sense. They feel the vibes. I've been out down there. They just go with what the flow is. They're very, they're very jelly-like. [57:06] They just go with whatever the energy is doing already. That's why it seems like they know. You guys seem like you came up with this theory together and you discussed this. Oh, I just thought of it right now. And Sarah came on board with me and I feel like we're on to something. Are we not on to something? Well, I think we live in a vibrational universe and things enter our experience based on the things that we think in the world that we create And so when you think if the fish are flowing this way the jelly is gonna go this way too And it seems like they know what they're doing but they're just kind of going with whatever is happening Some of them are poisonous as fuck like the box jellyfish Which means they know they need to be poisonous Yeah, which means they're aware that there's danger. So they're sentient in some way. Yeah, they have no brains, but they're aware. I know a lot of people like that. I know a lot of jellyfish. Well, especially if you think about where box jellyfish live, they're australia, right? [58:00] Australia has great white sharks everywhere. Australia has those little cute octopi that, is it octopus? Pie? I think it's octopi. Octopi that are the little blue-ringed ones that look like you can pick them up at the killio. They're like the most dangerous one in the world. It's not octopusies. That would be the most dangerous one in the world. That would be the most dangerous one in the world. Octopuses. The blue Yeah, it's like very cute and small and they have videos of that one. That'll kill you. Yeah, that'll kill you How come I got eyes on it's like one of the most dead the most deadly octopus It looks and people pick them up all the time because they're beautiful. I want that in a jacket Yeah, what does it have a stinger like a bite? I think if I remember I think it bites. It's nickname bro. It says blue ringed octopus. Nicknamed bro. That doesn't work. It only attacks humans when it feels in danger if you're trying to corner a blue ringed octopus. That might be from a grass-to-tock. So there's two types of toxins for hunting the other for self-defense. It a blue ringed octopus ejects tetrodoxin, a harmful toxin that could paralyze and kill a human [59:06] adult in mere minutes. It's 1,200 times more toxic than cyanide. That's wild. That's wild. Holy shit. There's no known antidote. Nope. It's the same kind of toxin that puffer fish out. It can kill 26 full adults with one bite. Oh my god. It can kill 26 full adults with one bite. Oh my God. It's fentanyl. It can kill 26 full adults in one bite. Yeah. Oh, that is so crazy. That is so insane. It is insane, right? And there's videos of people that pick it up. They think of viral because they don't know better. So they're playing with it in the ocean. Oh my God. And it's like, oh God. And thank God, I mean, I think that I think they've also, they had an Netflix thing about how Octopyr, like really smart and they like have the average brain of like a five-year-old child or something. So maybe some of them are aware and don't wanna kill people when they get picked up, but. Well, they figured out how to open up Mason jars. [01:00:02] Oh yeah. Whoa. They can unlock doors. They can, I think they said that they can memorize shit. That's kind of cute. They can memorize shit and how it works. Well, they have this tank that was set up next to another tank. So one tank had octopus in it. The other tank across the room had fish in it. Fish started missing. And so they set up a camera and they found out what was going on was the octopus was climbing out of his tank, walking across the floor, climbing up at the other tank, jacking a fish, eating it, and then going back into his tank. The comedian and me imagined it jacking off a fish and then eating it. But, for some reason, when I was imagining it, the octopus was wearing sunglasses and the whole story. The pink Panther song. I mean, how insane is that? Did the thing figure out that it could get out and walk in a place where it can't breathe? Well, they can fit through anything that their eyes can fit through. [01:01:01] That's great. No matter how big they are. Okay. Also. Don matter how big they are. Okay. Also. Don't quote me on that. But how would it know that they'd get out and climb? I mean, what? Joe, you want to hear the answer? Yeah. Five. Five. Five. Five. It just knows. It just knows. The same way, the same way the everyone knows everything. Five. Five. Five. You felt it out one day. You were like, this feels right. How is humans, the first two humans know to have sex? They were just like, this feels like we should do that. Right. Well, but it was way before humans, right? How did the first living organism that was multicellular figure out how to mate? A little, a little, a little, a little hornet cell. Right. A little, a little, a little, a neat thing. A little horny cell. Right, little horny cell. A little horny cell. So what is this octopus doing? Oh, big octopus versus small holes. They keep, they keep, they keep, This is a porn, this is a porn of bad things. I'm tired. I want you to get hands on. I'm sorry guys. I'm trying to go up there Big octopus small hole is disgusting. So that little hole in the plexiglass, [01:02:06] it's gonna go through that little hole. Oh yeah, and it could definitely fit, because the eyeballs are like a fist. It actually might, it did four other ones before I got to this video. I think it might back up. So this is one that might stuck. Yeah, take it back soft. It realizes it's stuck. This is a fucking alien, I'm sorry. They are aliens. How is that not an alien? They really are aliens. They're just aliens that live under the ocean. Yeah. And do you know the myth of the Kraken? Kraken was an enormous octopus that would take out ships. No. Yeah. It was always like one of those ancient myths of a sea beast. Yeah, they have paintings with like the octopus tentacles touching the ships and stuff. Oh, shit. One day they found tentacle imprints, the imprints of the suction cups that were massive, that would have indicated an enormous octopus. [01:03:00] Oh, yeah, they were definitely taking down ships. So they think it was real. Yeah. They think at one point in time They're really were massive Smart enough to add a fossil the fossilized version of the Kraken So they found these fossils of the the suction cups on the bottom of the ocean floor And they were like what like what is this? These are huge If this is really an octopus like this. It's actually a Nevada. Oh, is it really? Wow. Oh, that's crazy. The like imprints of tentacles, they always want you to unlock the stories. I think there's more than one of these things that they found now. Wow. Because this image looks different. Giant cracking layer discovered. Wow. This image looks different. Giant crack and layer discovered. Wow. Wow. Okay. State Park in Nevada. What is it? Berlin, Indos, squid eating sperm whales. In the Kethiosaur. In the state park. Whatever it is. We're make men in and his daughter [01:04:01] spend a few days in the summer. The site where the remains of nine forty five foot Ithias Ikea Thoris of the species. Oh my god, these words are shown. Yes, oris popularist can be found. These were the Triassic counterparts of today's predatory giant squid eating sperm whales But the fossils at the Nevada side of a long history of proplexing researchers including the world's expert on the site the late Charles Lewis camp of UC Berkeley Charles camp puzzled over these fossils in the 1950s in his papers he kept referring to how peculiar the site was we agree it's peculiar so what is it where is the the thing about the cracket thing yeah when is cracking people that's what I want to say. That's what this is, I believe. Right. I think that's a crack. Oh, that's what the... Oh, what is that? It's kind of a mean name. No, that's a fish. Yeah. That looks like a dolphin. I mean, I think he's talking about other things that he did as well. Before whale, Yeah, so this crack and thing so whatever those tentacles are they see there it [01:05:06] Fed on those it fed on those so it ate those giant fish a crack and of such mythological proportions It could have sent Captain Nemo running for dry land. Wow, so this guy so scroll down and let's find out how big this Fucking these tentacles were Say anything in there I was gonna try to find other website because they're trying to figure out how big This octopus must have been but the question is like what part of the tentacle is it? Is it the end of it where it's smaller? Is it the the part where it's thickest like what part do they have a? Real fossil of Well, I want to know how big it was I get it, I'm not getting suctioned a death by a crack in. No thanks. It just makes sense because everything was giant back then. They had megalodons, a shark. Oh yeah, megalodons are crazy. If you've ever seen a megalodon tooth online, it's not something. No, not really. Narlie, yeah. [01:06:01] Half one. So, you do? Yeah, my daughter does. She's got this megalodont tooth. It's like that big. That's so cool. It's fossilized. There's a bunch of them. You can buy them online. But they were fucking giant. And they were just eating everything. Are they gone? Yeah. Well, not if you watched it Jason, say the movie, the Meg. They're gone for sure the Meg is called the Meg. How do we know there's not one room and around if you dumb yourself up to a considerable extent With the right substances the Meg is an absolutely hilarious move. I could enjoy the Meg Lodon movie or whatever that's what yeah, yeah, I saw the previews I can't dumb myself down for it because immediately I was like I want to see It's in the 80s. Yeah, wait, shark NATO energy. Yeah. So I saw you and Brian Simpson were smelling salt and I wanted to do it. Oh yeah, you said you had some fresh. We have fresh cheese back there. We're here for the salt challenge Joe. We've got to do the fresh cheese. Salt, salt, salt. We've been all, people have been sniffing salts at the studio. Yeah. It's become a thing for some reason. [01:07:05] Well. I don't know who brought them to the studio. They brought a bunch of them. Or to the, well, to the studio first. And then people brought us to the green room. And I don't know who brought the stuff to the green room. But there's a bunch of stuff in there. There's a different kind. There's a bunch of different kinds. And I have them at home now. I'm like, am I doing something illegal? They have not prepared you for what you're gonna experience today. Oh This is the real thing now. I'm scared. This is the real one with this like when you guys look. It's fair factor now Listen to me. This is next level. No, no. This is dark. Oh not dark. It's gonna strange Strange you out. It's gonna hit your nostrils. You're gonna feel like your brains on fire. You're gonna wish you saw a megalodon Brian Simpson took his headphones off and ran out of the room if Brian Simpson takes his headphones off It's an issue Leave his head [01:08:01] No one trouble. Oh Yeah, that's what it's called the bag just says This is this is a fresh these are these are not the fashion rough So cuz you when you so it's sealed inside of here and then the package is sealed and You could smell it from the outside of the bag. Where's the salt challenge? Okay, see now when you open it up. Oh. Yeah, that's what's up. Oh, Jesus Christ. That was a big hit. No, it's not even open yet. That was not even open yet. That was not even open yet. That was not even open yet. From a sealed bottle. No. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. This is... I'm not ready for aah. So next level. What you experienced at the club is nonsense. That's nonsense. This is the real deal. I feel like I can smile in the air a little. Yeah, it's like a Phil Collins song. Put it up there and just take a hit. [01:09:01] Just go for it. Just go for it. Oh, fuck! It feels like I just yeah Yeah, like the name it'll it'll wake you right up. Oh Kim. How's it feel now? You know you're like I want smelling So no you don't hold on you don't want that life. It feels like I like went it's giving like it has like a chlorine to it Oh my god, I'm still recovering It's like oh my but there's something about it you do it once and you're like I think I think I have it again Yeah, yeah, like please. Oh my god. Oh This one hits different this one you feel like inside of your skull. I told you trust me I wouldn't say inside of your skull. I told you. Oh. Trust me. I wouldn't say that. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to sell you something like this. So yeah, the ocean's a crazy place. Right? Oh yeah, that's what I was gonna say. My, you know, the Andrea Gale, the perfect storm boat. My dad was supposed to be on that boat. [01:10:01] Whoa. Yeah. And he used to work with the guy that was the captain of the ship and he said he didn't like that he would run into storms and not care about the crew. And that's why he didn't go on the boat. Holy shit. Well, I still taste the salts. Yeah. Yeah. Being in a storm on a boat must be the most terrifying shit. Yeah. Have you seen those videos of cruise ships with the fucking pianos rolling? Oh my god, or like the deadliest catch like she like that you're like But there's something like at least I feel like those boats are more mobile Like they might be able to survive it better like when I look at cruise ships I'm like that's a goddamn apartment building in the middle of the ocean Look at this fucking ship. This ship that was out there looking for the missing Malaysian Airlines flight in the Indian Ocean. This is part of why I was so far. Oh, imagine having to go look for the plane. I got to use that. You're looking for a missing plane. Oh, now. Cruises stressed me out. Why do you need to do that? Why do you this thing playing there. They don't know where we are. You didn't know where it would happen. What happened to it? Have you done a cruise? No. [01:11:06] It freaks me out. It's like a bunch of like fat Americans like showing up and like Hawaiian shirts being like, let's go to the buffet. Nothing sounds weird. It's fun. This is insane. And that's not even like the worst ocean ever. Right. My TikTok algorithm is full of videos of this one TikTok guy who films people renting boats trying to get out into the ocean and not knowing what they're doing. It's fucking crazy. You have to really know what you're doing on a boat. The ocean is wild and the ocean will take you quick. Sarah and I almost all a boy die in Hawaii. It really got pulled out blue CPR for over six minutes. It was horrible, horrible. He survived luckily. They brought him back, but he almost did not make it. And when you see that people just like not watching their fucking kids at the beach, it's like, what are you doing? [01:12:00] You can't just leave your kid, even if they're a good swimmer. Especially little kids. Oh my god. You know, it's fucked up is that we were having the most perfect day It was like the perfect beach day. We were surfing we met hot hot And like we're taking a surfing pushing us into the waves The waterfall was in the background and then that little boy drowned and it just like cleared the whole beach. Everybody was like, we don't, it was so horrible. And then at that point, I realized that nobody knew CPR. Like I was the first one to yell, does anybody know CPR? Because this lady's just screaming help. She didn't know what to do. Oh my God. And then I'm like, does anybody know CPR? And I look at the locals. I look at the locals. The life guards weren't at that beach. And they were at a different beach. So, and then so nobody knew CPR. And finally the ladies just starts trying. And she does it for like two minutes. And then eventually you see this guy sprint. You knew it was his dad, because it was like it's a different run than anybody else. And just like slides into the sand and just starts banging on his back. [01:13:01] Like literally turns him over and just starts like, because he was pretty much dead at that point. And somehow that motion or that aggression or whatever he did brought him back, like it like woke him up. Oh my god. And it's also like, it's so scary. So fucking intense to watch. And it was fucked up. For the rest of the trip, I didn't go to any more tourist beach. I stayed on all the local beaches where all the locals only swam because I kept having anxiety. I was watching other people's kids. It fucked me up, dude. Things can change in a second. Watch your kids. If you're about to go on vacation, watch your kids in the water. Yeah. The ocean is a fucking beast. When Duncan was in Maui, either like right before he got there, right after he got there, someone got eaten by a shark. Someone got eaten by a shark when we were there, or bit by a shark. In the same beach we were at where the boy drowned, the same beach. Connolly Bay, someone got eaten by a shark. It was a local who served that same beach for like 25 years. But when we got there, we realized that they were telling us we were there during shark Mating the shirt mating season. I caught a surfer got taken out. Yeah, a surfer [01:14:09] But he was surfing in the reefs out deep into the ocean during mating season. Yeah, they caught shark tober Shark tober. Sharks. They call it during mating season and oh, yeah And then you go to the local beaches and it's full of school kids like they look beg They're like how you would beg your parents to go to them all. They are like, please let us go catch a few waves after school. So it's all these school kids. That's where I surfed. I went in with the local kids. They're all in the water and they're fucking out there. It's so funny. I'm out there trying to catch a wave and they go, party wave. You see them all going back. I'm like, why are they going deeper into the ocean? I see this fucking huge wave coming at me. And they're all catching it, holding hands, jumping on each other's boards. My mom says, we have more and more wave than we have to go do homework. Like it is- In their ship. Ready. And they're ship. What we watch like, they're surfing backwards on purpose. Like they're having the most fun of. That is why they're awesome. During shark mating. It was crazy. Yeah, shark [01:15:09] tober. It was crazy. I was out there too. I got away. I'll open to someone you're taken. Uh, they said like, I feel like every year they said they hear about a shark bite. Yeah. Or the drownings happen often, I think, because a lot of tourists are there. there. But let's find out how many people get bitten by sharks every year. And we'll look at that first and then we'll go to just Hawaii. Yeah, I know Florida. It's better if you got a guess. Yeah, it's going to happen more and more. I would say how many people get bitten every year? 40 a year in Hawaii. 30? Really? In Hawaii? I mean, in the United States. Oh, in the whole country. Yeah, and I would say 10 to 20 in Florida and the rest in Hawaii. I think, I think 20 out here. Yeah, I would say 40 total and 20 in the East Coast and the West Coast. [01:16:01] I wanna say it's less than 10 a year in this country. I think since the water's gotten warmer, they're coming in closer now. Yeah, I mean, maybe. There's been more lately, I think. Also, like we stopped eating shark fin soup and they got cocky. Yeah, we should go back. I heard it's really good for you. Shark fin soup. Yeah, that was part of the problem. One of the reasons why people started saying that you shouldn't kill sharks is because they were killing a lot of sharks and then just chopping their fins off to make sharks fin soup. It's a delicacy. I wonder if it's good. Not only is it a delicacy, my dad told me to correct this because I used to say on a podcast that shark fin cured my asthma but it wasn't shark fin. It was shark lip royal so he wanted me to correct that one it was very important to him and he said that a lot of people use shark fin as a like dick. Aphrodisiac, dick lengthening? Dick, like a red dog function that you take for yeah you get a card from the dick from shark fin. [01:17:02] But here's the thing they say that about everything that's that they want people to take, because men will take it. Oh, it's like vinyl horn. And they say they have a like fucking tiger paw. Yeah, yeah. I mean, men will do anything to keep their dick hard. They'll get rid of rhinos. Before Viagra, they were fucking terrified. They're like, what is happening? What do I got? I got nothing. I got nothing going. Yeah. And so then they're like, someone needs to get rhino horn. Let's say I'm a fucking ceremony. I heard the fin of a shock. You sit around the campfire and drink rhino horn. They're like, which animal should we punish for this? We got shark facts from Filled In Stream. Let's go. There's some interesting ones. Okay. First of all, you're seven times more likely to be hit by lightning than be bitten at all by a shark. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, but that's not that many. I also was trying to figure out how they've checked some of these numbers in 2022. There's 57 unprovoked shark attacks. What is a provoked shark attack? Probably fishing for a shark. [01:18:01] You're trying to catch it and then it bites you. There's different numbers for that I checked right that wasn't a save that for the end. Okay, um 70 on provoked shark attacks annually leading to between five and six deaths per year 2022 there were 57 such attacks a 10 year low So while the risk is certainly there. It's relatively small. Here's a breakdown of how many shark attacks per year take place based on the latest information So it gives countries first and then states I I was gonna before I showed you states, I was gonna let you guess, because it's a little surprising. States? Yeah. The most attacks. Okay. North Carolina. It's up there. It's in the top five. Okay. California. California. It's not five, I don't think. The only shirt seven, but. Florida. Obviously yeah, so what would be number two California? South Carolina York, New York really New York's or two New York's a wild gas shows New York number two at eight Hawaii California Y5 by five Four to 16 Wasn't even thinking Alabama [01:19:02] We're from Florida's information from UF Florida University. Texas is crazy. But how can you get bit by a shark in Texas? If you get bit by a shark in Texas, you're just unlucky. I don't know what to say. You're an idiot. You have sharks out there. Yeah, beach is done in a tiny part of Texas. Really? Yeah, but they have like boat bites. There's four boat bites. The day by boats like that one that we played. On the boat bites is also divers, Joe. People that go into their environment and then get attacked, not people that are just swimming on the beach. Right. Which makes sense. Also, I don't know. While on hookings are removing. Yeah. Spites on spearfishers, bites on people attempting to feed sharks. Like that guy who lost his pinkie, do you think he reported that? Yeah, good call. Right. Right. Have you spare fish, Joe? No, I have not. It's supposed to be really fun. Or it's awesome. I look awesome, I really wanna do it. Yeah. Yeah. It looks really fun. It's the most my friends have done it. Everyone says it's so fun. I have a lot of friends that's beer fish. Yeah. In Florida. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Florida. [01:20:09] It's like an awesome place to do it. Right? There's these videos of this girl on TikTok and she swims in her grandparents Everglades. And she like, oh, and there's another dude and he like literally goes into the Everglades barefoot at night and like waddles in the water and picks up snakes and bugs and frogs and that's his whole TikTok. He's like an 18 year old kid and he's like picking up baby sharks and he's like, oh, uh, uh, look over there. And then it'll be like, ah, and it's like a huge fucking alligator coming to pick up its baby. Like he's nuts. He's nuts. It's a whole TikTok. It's like Steve Irwin energy. It's Steve Irwin if Steve Irwin was making the worst choices of his life. He's picking up poisonous snakes. Eventually he's going to get it. Yeah. Dude, I almost got eaten by an alligator when I was eight years old. Camping with my friend, her, my best friend's mom dared us to jump into the water at night into the, the Everglades. [01:21:00] We were in the springs of Florida. The crazy thing to dare your children to do. Yeah, she was on mommy wine on vacation. And I was like, I dare you guys to jump into the springs because the thing is when you're anybody who's from Florida and if you're at the springs, like you can canoe through the part that's like the Everglades and their sharks and stuff. And then you go off in their side springs that are clear and you can see through them and you can swim there, but you should know that maybe a gate or a could show up, but you can see. So that's where we'd swim and stuff. And so the giant swimming wall you could see through, but at night she just had us fucking in there. Everglades kid. I think I mean this is a videographer who's making really cool. No, that's I've seen this guy too, but this is not the kid. Who's that guy? He's only 19. What's that guy's name? Look at his partner. Look at his partner. Look at Martina's. I've seen this. Look at Martina's.fl. This stuff is amazing. Yeah, he makes incredible videos, but he look at him just in the Everglades. It's got a drone. Oh, that's bad ass. Yeah, his footage is wild. Holy Yeah. This is incredible for us. The other kid, you should pull him up. He's like a dad alligator swimming in the water. [01:22:08] His videos are beautiful. How bad ass is that footage? I know. And he's so young. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's a cool thing to get interested in. Yeah. I was trying to find it. He has that video on his side of those two bears going after it. That's one of the wildest videos ever. Watch these two bears just fighting over mating rights. No. No. Bears fight crazy too. They fight with Jiu-Jitsu. They have a guard. They do. Yeah, they're trying to trip each other and shit. Yeah, you can see them grab each other's shoulders. Bears fight crazy. That's all from there. Oh, it's because it's owned footage from Alaska as well. Wow. Oh, wow. Wow, look at that bear. This kid should work for national geographic. Maybe you might. I think you might. Maybe just keep doing this for himself. Yeah. Don't let anybody tell you what to do. You're doing it perfect. He is actually. Yeah, I do. No, I'm never been oh my god. It's so amazing. I've heard it's amazing [01:23:10] It's great like and the people there are different because that where the northern lights are they definitely have them up there in some places Yeah, yeah, some parts of the I think the best place to see them isn't even like Yeah, like Iceland and shit like that. Yeah, that's the best place yeah that makes sense it's supposed to be amazing I want to go it sounds a little cold I usually if I have a choice to go somewhere it's usually a warm water area yeah I'm a water girl it's a tough sell to go and suffer yeah yeah just for a beautiful view here banks Alaska I mean I have to see that once. Oh, come on. This is one of the best places in the world to see that. Oh, Fairbanks, beautiful. Wow. Are they selling it? Is Fairbanks times? No, no. Fairbanks.com. Oh my God, look at that. That looks awesome. Fuck. Fairbanks Alaska is. Catch me there. We should do a JRE trip. Oh my god. I'll go up there with a fucking giant crew people [01:24:09] A bunch of mushrooms in Norway. That's the Iceland place. That's how you say that word? Racketing a bunch of lions main Iceland Look at that. Wow Wow. Sick. And that's like not even more bullshit. I mean, if I saw that and I didn't know what it was, I'd be like the aliens. Yeah. That's it. My dad is claiming he's seeing aliens every night and though. He's a fisherman. So he lives in the water. But he's claiming he sees aliens and he's letting other people know and there's Facebook groups about it and he can see them at night and they have a ship and it's doing a repetitive thing in the sky and all these people are trying to take pictures of it and they can't and he's got this whole thing about it. He's been calling me consistently. Jack loves to talk aliens. Yeah, he's like, because he lives in the ocean pretty much at night. So he's like, you don't, he's like, I've seen crazy shit. I believe him. [01:25:00] Yeah. he says that there's like a ship. It looks like a ship in the sky almost. And he says, I don't even remember. He's, when he explains it to me, it sounds like a dad trying to, he's like the carburetor. It's like on a, he's like saying things like that. And I'm like, okay. And he keeps saying that there's like a rip petitive process. Like he could see the, the ships ran by an energy and then it builds and builds and then it almost explodes and then it gets ran by the same energy again. He's like, I'm watching it, how it's running and staying going. Did he film this? He said he tried to film it and it doesn't come out on his phone very well and he's like, I keep posting what I filmed online and people are calling me crazy because they can't relate to see what I'm seeing. He's the latest iPhone. He doesn't even have a phone with a good camera. He's like an old fisherman. Right, that's probably part of it too. If you keep seeing it though, you should get him a camera. I know. Get him like a really good camera with a zoom lens. Something like that. A map, yeah. A macro lens. [01:26:00] Something where you could like a little handy cam. He said at what he was said at one point He got thrown nervous. He kind of felt thankful he couldn't get a video He was like, I don't know even know if I want to have the video like it makes me nervous to put it out He's like he's fully convinced it's alienships in the sky and he's like, I know I sound crazy Yeah, but it doesn't sound that crazy. It doesn't See I go back and forth on aliens jamey does to we were just talking about the other day he jamey was like one day i'm in and then two days later i'm like nope i'm out oh i'm always in i'm always in here's a thing i think there's a high possibility that the united states government has developed some sort of a drone that operates on a propulsion system that is not understood by the general public i think it's some sort of a drone that operates on a propulsion system that is not understood by the general public. I think it's some sort of a gravity-defying propulsion system, which is something they theorized and they've been working on for a long fucking time. This is something that they theorized a long time ago. If I was the government and I had [01:27:01] the ability to run secret programs. What kind of system? It would have to be something that instead of using a propulsion system, like an internal combustion engine, which is like what rockets are and what gasoline powered cars are, essentially with rockets, you know, you're shooting something out of the back that makes you go this way. Right. What these things are doing is changing gravity around the... That's what he said he's seeing. That's what he said he's seeing. That's what he said. He said it looks like it's using the energy from the gravity as a vacuum and then spitting it back out. What these things supposedly can do is the weights described by Bob Lazar who is this gentleman who claimed to work at Area 41, at Area S4. If you had like a soft mattress and you put a bowling ball in the mattress, it would pull everything towards the bowling ball. And what these things are doing is finding a point in space and pulling space and find together and cross. Whoa, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Pulling the fabric. [01:28:01] Moving at insane rates of speed. Yeah, speed away. So the question is if they have these things in the sky, and they've had them for a long time, if they've had them since the TikTok video, which was Commander David Fraver in 2004 off the coast of San Diego, they viewed this thing, they have multiple jets that were viewing it, plus there was two other sources of data, including video. So they had radar on this thing that made it go from, they showed it went from 50,000 feet above sea level, above 50,000 feet to about 50 in a second, or less than a second. It's quick as it took to register, this thing had appeared. And then they go to where this thing is, they see it hovering over something that looks like a ship that's underwater. The thing turns towards them, they have this thing on video and then takes off at a rate of speed that if there was people inside of it they would become jelly. The gravity would literally turn you into pink mist. Right, like it can't be human. And this thing just... [01:29:01] Just this thing just miss that was just disappears timbridge head tells tucker cross and he's talking to speaker johnson about uf.o disclosure act says all i want is transparency we're not going to bring in a uf.o we're not going to bring in little green men the tenancy consciousness about his leg legislation his anger they all look like everyone calm down but here's the thing if these these guys are Congress, right? If Congress is not being given access to something that the military has, they're like, why? We're supposed to oversee all this. You're supposed to run your budgets through us. You're supposed to, we're supposed to be informed. You can't hide this. Well, maybe the aliens are above Congress. I think they probably thought they were for a long time. I think they're saying that that's not legal. I think this is what aliens breaking the law. No, the Congressmen are saying that the people that are hiding this information from them are breaking the law. [01:30:02] Okay. You got to tell Congress what's going on with the aliens so they can make some good choices. Well, I mean, I would want to know. If I was a congressman, and I was, yeah, I would want to know. I'd be like, why, can we get these guys to tell us? Like tell me what the fuck is going on. Is this bullshit so I can just ignore it? Is some sort of sia? I'm not a congresswoman and I still want to fucking know. I've had members of Congress say, brichette, we need to be on something important. The congressman said, well, let me ask you, what's more important, something in our air space buzzing, 50, 60 million aircraft putting American pilots at risk, 50, 60 million. What? That's a lot. That we don't know who it is or what it is. And then we have a government that claims they don't exist what is it saying fifty sixty million aircraft putting american pilots at risk it's a little hard to read his word he might have been saying multiple things at once and that they just put the words together no i think i think i see what he's saying if i phrased it differently or if i could use different [01:31:01] intonation i think he's saying there's fifty sixty million aircraft are out there right and putting american pilots at risk i think he's probably saying okay he's saying that's a bunch of planes and so do you think it's put in the rest even sixty million planes kind of crazy it's a great problem to get blue for that for flights please yeah spirit airlocked it to Texas without doing two stops now Spirit airlines. I have a queue up. I haven't even looked spirits away in a while because start making money Not even making money. It's 20 extra dollars and I have to deal with their shit It's really by the time you pay for your bags and the waters fights though Drama though. The best drama. They had a new guy Karen recently went viral. He was he snatched a phone. He was getting kicked off the plane and someone was recording it and he snatched the girl's phone on the way out and started deleting her video. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah. Spirit airlines was like a black Friday sale all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People are fighting over to all of them doing COVID. Yeah. [01:32:06] Yeah. Dude, Black Friday was like this was the first Thanksgiving they were saying that it wasn't like insane. I really? No, nobody was... Inflation. That's how you know it's bad. If we're behaving on Black Friday, you know things are getting bad. Yeah, the economy sucks right now for a lot of people. That's why it's so offensive when you see that White House going to people, economy is fantastic. We created more jobs like that. What jobs do you say now? It's $14. What's that? It's so expensive. I don't know if you're about to look at that. A lot of chickens died unfortunately. From what? From Aevean flu, years. There was also a fire at one of the chicken plants that killed like something like a hundred thousand chickens. I'm sorry are we all of our chickens coming from just a few plants. Oh my god. I would imagine there's many places that provide eggs but there are a lot of eggs that come from these massive plants. Wait I think we need to spread out the chicken [01:33:02] a little. When this one plant like how many how many chickens died when this fire broke out? Is then this what happened to the Irish? It was something bananas when they had to eat potatoes. Yeah, potato fam. They need to spread it out a little. What happened with the Irish? There was one thing got infected, one thing got, and then the whole crop was gone. Oh. And, but that's why we shouldn't keep everything we need in one place. Mm-hmm. Which is why I'm saying we need to spread the chick. But the reason why it's all in one place is because of corporations. Yeah, man. Capitalism, sweetie. Yeah, it's fun. And he probably is. Well, I'll make it as bad. I'll make it as bad, too. And I'll make it as bad, too. And I'll make it as bad, two chickens no I don't know those motherfuckers can go everywhere Connecticut chicken fire Factor factory farm killed a hundred thousand egg laying hands there are according to 372 million egg laying hands in the United States. Oh my god. There's more egg laying hands than there are people Yeah, I was gonna say I said inhumane of me to be like a hundred thousand stop that bad [01:34:02] I feel like there's a lot of chickens Well, there are a lot of chickens. Well, there are a lot of chickens. Yeah, I saw a hundred thousand in Puerto Rico in April when I was there. Yeah, Puerto Rico is a little Hawaii has that too. Yeah, Hawaii. I like that. The roosters are kind of hot. They're way hotter than the Hens. Sarah was into Sarah was saying so many pictures of roosters. I almost called the police on her. I was like stop looking at the rooster That's a handsome I like that he's showing off for the women. I was like, okay Men who makes that song here comes the roosters and Allison chains That's a good song That's a good fucking song yeah, that is a good one Yeah! That's a good fucking song. Yeah, that is a good one. Cause rooster's not. These motherfuckers made the kind of music that you make when you're doing a lot of drugs. I wish I could have partied and went to a heavy metal like concert in the 80s. Alicin chains I wouldn't consider heavy metal. No. [01:35:00] No, they're more like, I would say more like grunge metal. Grunge rock. Yeah. No, they're more like, I would say more like Grunge, but they're rock. Grunge, rock. Yeah, yeah. But when they were starting there, they didn't know what Grunge was. I don't think so they weren't calling it that. Yeah, they were just doing, I'm depressed music. They just called it rock them. I live in Seattle and I do heroin music. Was this called standard rock? Just they would just call it rock music. Well, when Grunge came along, it fucked up like hair bands. That's for sure, because it was so real. So before that, you mean no disrespect to hair bands. But you just... I don't even know what that is. Like, in 80's. You know, that kind of stuff. Guys wearing makeup and that crazy hair. But no, they were wearing like crazy makeup like to hide their face. Like, definitely. These guys were in like eye line lipstick. It was like glam and then big fucking hair. And they were, you know, like a show. And they were wearing like tight leather pants. Yeah, so that was like hair bands. Oh, I see. It was superficial songs. And then all of a sudden Nirvana came along. And Nirvana came along and just put the fucking [01:36:02] dopper on the whole hair band generation. Just, eh! I can't do a crash, because Nirvana was so good. People were like, what the fuck is this? This makes me think different, but this music is insane. They felt something for the first time. They had an eyeliner in the hand, they slowly put it down, they're like, oh, yeah. I would specifically work out to Nirvana. It hits different if you do like a cycling class to Nirvana Yeah, it's amazing for sure. There's real pain in that music. Yeah, it's beautiful There's there's something in Some people just have the ability through their music to just make you feel different They've come to snuff the rooster. Yeah it's a video is a Vietnam war footage video. [01:37:02] Tim Kennedy used to fight in the UFC. He used to always come into this song. And he would walk into the octagon at that moment. Like you would time it. That song's pretty good though. It's a badass song. If you're doing cardio, you will ramp up your fucking pace when you hear this song. Yeah. Well, yeah, you have to do it for America, apparently. For America. If you don't do it, you don't love your country. If you don't come to Snuff the Rooster when you go to the gym, I can even work out. Then you're a pussy. That's about Vietnam, too, which is like a tough one to be on side of America. I mean, I'm in further troops, but you know, get out of there. Who sent you there? It's a lot of stuff like that for me. That's the scariest one because they did it on a false fly. Rooster was Jerry Cantrell Sr. Who served with the US Army during the Vietnam War. Rooster was a childhood nickname. [01:38:01] Mm. The war's like space man. If I can't physically go see what's happening, I don't know. I don't know. I guess you could fluff up the pictures. The Vietnam War is a weird one. Because that one they literally faked an attack to get us to go to Vietnam. You know, so far. I hate to be on mushrooms about it, but why when we don't have to, we could all just be happy. Well, the problem is, it seems like the default behavior of human beings when they get control over giant groups of human beings is to control them tightly, more tightly than ever every time, and then also try to invade, try to like steal the people's resources try to control but imagine over there but imagine Roman Empire of not yeah and just not I think it's possible to have not but I think it's going to require the next stage of whatever human beings are currently doing right now people scoff at the thought of world peace. No, we need an evolution, like a spiritual awakening, [01:39:07] like a deeper... We need a restart. It seems very... We need to celebrate. We need tomorrow. It seems very early man to just be blowing each other up. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't seem very evolved of us. We shouldn't have iPhones and be blowing each other up. It seems very low vibrational. Very low vibrational. I think what a jellyfish would do. Human beings are all going to connect in the near future. Like within the next 50 years, we're going to connect through something that links that we carry around or have an implant. It's the aliens. And it locks us into each other. And if you could do that, it would make war impossible. It would be just the literal like sharing thoughts with each other. Shared consciousness. Yeah. I would think it would change the way people feel about people. You would know everything about everyone. There would be no more secrets. Everything you're thinking, whoever you are, what your essence is, what you're... It's just who you are. [01:40:00] What your motivation really is, what your thoughts really are, everyone will see everything. You know, I've always said that people could look into my brain because I feel like I'm pretty straightforward. Whatever I say is how. Yeah, you're not really like mixing up words type of person. No, I do. But it's very different than being able to understand how you think. I would rather that people see in my head because I feel like I'm actually so straightforward that people think that there's more inside and it's actually meaner than it is. But I'm like, oh no, this is like all of it. Like when I say something and people are like, oh that was kind of blunt, she must be holding a lot in. I'm like, no that was it. That was it. I'm telling you the truth, I'm just not in a heart. She's like wonderful morning if the sky's a blue then so are you Would you like a taco Mrs. Wafo and I'm like a taco? She talks like a dude. Yeah, she talks like a dude. Yeah, I just don't have time. I get it [01:41:00] I would rather a phone call personally. That's all joy deas does. A phone call is also my protection. He texts a little now. I text him very rarely. I love you. Things like that. Yeah. But he likes the call. I'm not gonna lie. The first time I got a text from Joyo shocked. I know. I was like, I don't even know. He's getting mad at us. He's getting mad. He get mad at you. Yeah. Cause bad, that was back when you had to do it with your thumbs. You know, like T9, remember? Yeah. Remember those things? He's the only guy that calls me regularly just to check in. Yeah, he's the best. He's sweet. Almost of my people are friends, I just see regularly, but out of the people I don't see, he's just awesome. I call you to check I want you to. I want you to much. Yeah, a little too much. My phone rang the other day at my friend's house. They were like, that's Sarah, isn't it? I was like, yeah, it's my old ball and chain. Hold on. Did you see the email? I also texted you about the email. She'll text me something, email it to me, and then call me to read me both the text and the email I'm a fish and I notice all the emails this bitch should be like oh there's an email I'm like yeah check your inbox. I thought this podcast was tomorrow [01:42:09] I I am I mean we're literally a very talk about trying to stay away from Adirall I am extremely a dd Hmm I get overwhelmed by too much information too many emails I also don't understand why Gmail's like the number one email thing and when I click on the email, it doesn't immediately go to the latest email. It goes to the top so that I have to scroll through every email to find out where even, yeah, it's the worst fucking. Are you talking about when you open a thread? Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't go to the latest email. Why? If you Yeah, it doesn't go to the latest email. Why if you're the biggest email company? Why would that not why would that not be the thing? Doesn't it? I can barely understand what the problem is. Yeah, this is so technical the way you're explaining it is above us It's like when you go to an email to find I have to be so bad that I can't listen to this [01:43:04] Okay, you guys talk amongst yourselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, we'll hold it down. We'll start our periods together. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna hit the salts Oh fuck yeah All right ready all right Give me a countdown daddy's gone this bitch podcast anywhere on YouTube Guys conden takeover shank podcast. I'm filming my special December 7th childless milk. And also January 14th, Comedy Store, Main Room, this bitch in friends. Also, I hope this piece long because we have a lot of vlogs. Two days after Christmas, Bra in Prague. KimKongden.com for Show Day. It's ChildlessMilf. Please check out my special everyone. Please, ChildlessMilf on YouTube. It's coming out of the new year. This bitch. This bitch pocket. Oh no, did you almost drink that? Sometimes you want to promote a show and you accidentally try to drink your salts. [01:44:00] Dude. Did you try to sip a salt? Dude. Did you try to sip a soul? Dude That one Fucked me out looks like math. I'm not gonna lie the inside of it looks like something that's breaking back Yeah, it looks like something that's been fossil I feel like there's a Walter white Jamie you want one come on Jamie have some fun with the girls I almost I can't get in my other one because it's deviated. That'll undiviate your saptop. Alright, that's it. I'm sorry, I fucked up. She looks like she's doing a guest star in succession. I fucked up. Look her outfit. Let's get into it. She's doing a get- I want Daddy's business. What? I don't know what's the sessions about. Yeah, yeah, yeah it is. I want Daddy's business. I'm the eldest son. We took it too far. We took the salts too far. Oh my God, I'm crying. They're so strong. Oh my God. You're not supposed to do two a day. I think two a days the maximum [01:45:06] I'm dizzy isn't to a day the maximum it suggests you don't do it more than twice in a day suggests Your eyes are red look your eyes. Oh my god Both of you look stone we went through a lot while you're gone, Jesus. I thought she ate it. Wow We were off the salt sweetie. Yeah, I told you they're different Wow, we were off the salt sweetie. Yeah, I told you they're different They're addicting yeah, what's the good way? Why is that what's that about well? This is good? This is this hits this hits where a comet needs to get hit. It's a brainwag Yeah Shit man It clears it out right doesn't it feel like you could fucking rip a tree out of the ground Oh, well that's what they use it before they deadlift. Oh, that's what this is for oh It doesn't make a rip a tree out of the ground actually [01:46:01] His name juju mufu This guy is a move. He's a super jacked powerlifter guy who does all these acrobatic things. He's an amazing specimen, but this is his company. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to you. So show who this guy is. I love that name. It rolls right off the tongue. It's like Okay, reading I was reading to make sure we're fine reading my they like I'm so problems We get a problem people get problems like addictions toxic large concentrations for pro long periods can be fatal But oh, okay, we should know that Yeah, I think jiu j Mufu should give me a warning. Show me Juju Mufu. Yeah. This is not for everybody, you know, I wouldn't give it a key for Robinson. You know, you know, who's a Juju Mufu? Look, when I see him, when I see him, while he's pressing weight over his head, [01:47:02] yeah, he's definitely on snow. When I was pressing weight over said yeah, he's definitely on It's a hundred kilos so that's 220 pounds over his head Flexibility that's insane with that muscle mass Okay, you told us that he owned the salt company, but he didn't tell you I did tell you was an athletic free Yeah, but once you see it hits different Well, you could see all the different He is a free. Oh, he does a lot of wild shit show show some of the lifting stuff that does yeah This is the kind of salt the ju do move who can handle. Not me. Did you do move who? Are you single? So a guy like this, the Karen rocks. This guy like this, you would imagine would create a smell like salt that would fucking knock your teeth out. When I see him, I'm like, maybe I should stop doing these salt. I'm like, that's a real man. That's a manly man. That's a manly man. Yeah [01:48:06] This guy imagine someone messing with this guy imagine your ex-boyfriend I'm gonna be like hey, I heard you're dating my girlfriend is Judy move Oh my god, oh sorry what your husband do this way. Oh, he moved her boulder from the bottom of the road to the top of the road He has been doing this way. Oh, he moved her boulder from the bottom of the road to the top of the road. He has the fault to move the sultans and moved a boulder. He has the fault to move the boulder. Oh, did you move it? I'm a fan. Yeah, yeah. I like, I like, um, if he was my man, I'd have him in a man bun. I like any guy. Maybe. I like Put your hair up, Mufu. If I'm with a guy, he has to be able to kill another man or I'm not into it. Yeah, I'm like not into it at all. If I think I could beat him up or he can't kill another man, I'm gone. Well, that's also a problem with you being do in Jiu-Jitsu for a while. Yeah. Once you've been do in Jiu-Jitsu for a while, you kind of... It's hard to go back. It's kind of like hanging out with comics. Yeah, you know, [01:49:06] when you hang out comics, sometimes it's hard to hang out with people who aren't comics. It is true. Once I've been dating and guys you do MMA and a hits different. I haven't trained it almost. It literally hits different. Yeah, they're animals. I haven't trained in a while. I'm going back. Yeah. yeah, I'm going back. I miss my school. Not interested Not interested. Yeah, it's not for everybody. No, I love that I have fake nails. I get it I know yeah, it really tires me out Custom mothership now. Custom mothership alien and UFO. Yeah, you can't do that in jujitsu. What do you guys believe in UFOs? What do you think? Do you think your dad's crazy? Or do you think your dad's telling the truth? Both my parents have crazy claims that they've experienced aliens. I don't know. I believe in your foes. I believe in them. I'm like the... Did you ever ask to go out with them? On the boat? No says I don't even have to go out far to see them. How often does he see them? He saw them every night for three months, every night. [01:50:09] I'm sure I could call him right now. It is in Florida or Puerto Rico. This is in Florida. Holy shit. Yeah, he said he saw them every night. He started putting them on Facebook pages and then other people started claiming they were seeing them and describing them the same way. If you were going to do something, if you were from another planet, and you wouldn't you do something at night over the ocean, nobody would even be paying attention. Yeah, that's exactly when I would do it. That's when I would do it too. And especially you have bad phone service, it's one of the places you know people don't have great phone service. And a lot of fishermen don't have the best camera's and phones. Like it's like very like it's... Here's the question. What kind of satellite surveillance does the US government currently have? Like what can they see? Because if they can see everything. I think they're in this room right now. They can see everything that's happened. They definitely can do that. But when you're looking at the earth, [01:51:01] like as a whole, can they see the whole ocean? Can they see it in high-definition? Like, what can they see? Can they see through it, like, the fish swimming around? Do they have to, I don't think they can do that yet. But do they have to be able to pinpoint on a coordinate and then make the satellite turn towards that area? Like, how does it work? Like, if someone cites a UFO can they see it and if they can Like what what do they have like how what what videos you mother Five years ago this will just give you one example This is just what's public on YouTube from five years ago. What is this is gonna zoom in on someone? I'm just gonna like so this is a spy satellite. Yeah, it'll zoom in on someone here the bus stop right here enhance And Yeah, it'll zoom in on someone here at a bus stop right here. Wow. And hands. And hands. And hands. Why? You can get in unlike I think. And that's from that satellite. Oh my God, there's zooming in from the sky. I think you can get closer than this too, but this is like just. [01:52:01] That is. In. They could read the sun. They could read the text. I'd maybe. I just, that is, they can read the text. I, maybe. They could read the text on the phone from the satellite in the sky. That is fucking nice. That is fucked up. That just tripped me out, no way. Okay, so if they can do this, and if you're a fisherman, and you report the coordinates. I just got chills throughout my entire body. That's insane that they can do that. Okay, so what I'm saying is, what do they see? What aren't they? Do they have any video of these things? Like imagine if they have like high resolution photographs like that of these crafts. When I think about what they have, I feel like they're so far ahead. Like they know so much that we look like, have you ever seen a kid trying to figure something out? And you're like, it's so cute that they think that they're almost there. We're like little ants. Yeah, and they're like playing house in the kitchen. They're like, I made a grilled cheese and you're like, that's really a grilled cheese. Good job. And it's not even like a sandwich. They're not even making a grilled cheese in a real kitchen and they're like, [01:53:07] so they think they made a meal. I think that's what we look like to them. Well, do we think there's aliens and they're probably like the aliens watching us? Like, who knows? Who knows? I think they're so far beyond anything we could even comprehend. Sometimes when I get high and then on my my laptop I'm like are they looking at me and then I'm like I'm not that interested. They clone a sheep in the early 90s and never talked about it again. Mm-hmm. Never talked about it again. What about people who clone their dogs? It's a lot of people clone their dogs now. I love my dog. I'd like to clone it. But that's exactly what they want. They want these conversations and not like how advanced did they take that. And then one day your dog's like sitting at the foot of your bed just staring at it in the middle of the night. And it barks. And it barks, but it's mouth doesn't move. I don't like it. I don't like it. You got a new dog. It's a clone. No. It's not like your old dog. Roscoe's back. Her dog is a reincarnated man. I swear to God he's like a perverted teenage boy. [01:54:05] He loves changing the other day in a room. He's humping everything. No, changing the other day in a room into a bathing suit, it was just me and the dog, and then I could feel something staring and I looked and the dog went. Like it got caught staring at me and when I looked it turned away. When I was in high school, my friend Joe, Joe Spags, he had a dog that would aggressively hump his toys. And if you get anywhere near the toy, the dog would grow up with you. It was this little tiny dog. He would bite his toy and just start hammering it in front of everybody. Yeah, we had a toy like that. A dog would hump the toys and then the toys would be all crispy and then me and my sisters would threaten to throw it at each other. The cum stuffy. Ew, not the criss- It was like the dog cum, cum, and festive crispy thing that our dog used to just do. This dog was a little dog. Our dog was Deris in the eye out. They're the horniest ones. One time I saw Chihuahua at the dog park that Humpton came in the air. I swear to God. No, I swear to God, dude. The small dogs are the hornies. [01:55:06] He was just hoping the air in come was coming out of his body. And every and all that and the owner was so embarrassed and we were all like, it was like weird to witness. I never forgot it. It traumatized me. The chivalrous who came in the air. Oh my God. What? Coming in the air. I swear I'll never forget that little guy. And then he said, you're here to talk about it. Yeah, and then comes in the air. When I was in college, I had a dog with my boyfriend and we were at the dog park and the dog pooped out of condom. Oh my gosh. But it pooped out of the condom with the poop inside the condom. So it was like a sack. And everybody was like, what's happening to the dog? Surrounded it and then we all realized at the same time was a condom and it got really weird He was just eating a condom So it's probably in the trash it was in the trash and you ate it and then the poop filled in the condom and then he pooped us That sounds fucking That's why I don't want to have pets Like it's a lot dude He chisin in the air fucking your pillows eating your condoms [01:56:03] What did they give you so much? He used to grow, why was fucking it? Uh-huh, he was crazy. No, our dog would look us in the eye while he was going at it. Take it to the eye. Look at the eye while he's fucking his stuff. It's choking his stuffy. She's got his fries. Why is the dog doing 69 of the stuffy? Why is he just... 69 They're getting advanced these puppies grab the stuff he's had stuff it up It's got a vibrator and it's pussy and stuffy in its ass Why is my dog's's legs on its own shoulders? The stuff he's eating it out. You imagine if you came into the room and your dog's lying on his back. Legs in the air. A vibrator between the legs. And then you came in and it's like, roof, I never tends it's a dog again. It is really where my dog loves to look his own dick. [01:57:04] Love it. Yeah. If I can eat my own pussy, you wouldn't see me again. Of course. It makes sense. She'd have a curved back. I'd be like, yeah, maybe I'll spine it to Marilyn Manson. Yeah. It makes sense that a dog would do it. They don't know any better. They don't think there's anything wrong with doing it. You gotta go, oh, and they're like, what? They're not even embarrassed after that either. They're like, leave me alone. They don't get embarrassed, which is fascinating. That's why I love them, because they don't get embarrassed. Yeah. It's a good, it's a good, they do when they're in trouble. They've done something wrong, they get Hey, bro, you can't do that. Don't be wires, you're gonna die. Do you think hitting a dog is necessary for it to listen? No. I was a friend who has a dog and I said, wow, your dog's so well behaved. I was like, do you hit him? And he goes, that's why he listens. And I was like, I hate that. Well, I don't think you hit dogs, but I do think some dogs need some like there's some aggressive dogs that need to be trained [01:58:07] Very carefully that I do think and you need to let that dog know that you're the boss and you have to be able You don't think he hits him, but I think he's hit him I think that changed the job because it was a bad dog when he got it. Yeah, I don't know. I'm really ant bad hitting a dog. I don't know. Yeah. I don't have a dog. I've hurt my heart. You always wonder if it's like hitting kids. You know, hit kids are more likely to hit other kids. And more likely to be funny. Yeah. Yeah. You're a kid? They'll come up with some great punchlines. Give him a little subtle brain damage. Yeah. Just to see that. Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew earlier today and he told me I was abused on air. Whoa. Yeah. He was like, have you ever been hit with anything other than a hand? I was like, yeah. And he was like, that's abuse. I was like, oh. Anyways, we should take a collar. What? The means foods would they with the get you with belts and shoes and um but even with the hand isn't that also abuse [01:59:08] yeah like but my parents did you hot sauce too which I hurt is really bad now yeah yeah hot sauce wash your mouth out with soap it's hot sauce oh soap was a soap was a a white child blessing sweetie oh I know some people still believe in that yeah Well, there's like probably move away from violence as punishment as much in general We should always be moving away from violence as people and like as humans and people who should always be moving towards Whatever the nice or thing is what the issue is hurt people hurt people We're all collectively traumatized. Yeah, but I Passes on hurt people. We're all collectively traumatized. Yeah, but I- Keeps going. It passes on. Don't I feel that true? Because I was spanked and I have no want to spank a child or need to hit a child or hurt a child. But also we know more now, right? We know more now. Like it. And also you've gone through it. That's like we're just talking about this yesterday. Like the children of alcohols oftentimes they don't even think about drinking. You're like, fuck that. You've gone through getting your ass kicked by shoes and belts and things like that. [02:00:08] That is not good. It wasn't good for me. This idea that's the only way you can learn is crazy. Yeah. That is crazy. I remember it. It was so common and every parent did it then that it was like, it's crazy. And now the pants are like, you're saying we abused you? I'm like, I'm saying everyone abused everyone. Everyone seemed to be abused during that time, but that is also a thing. And it was so normalized. Yeah, it was normalized. Well, if you could go to the 1900s, go back to the early 1900s, feel like beat the fuck out of their kids. Yeah. People beat the fuck in the 90s. People would hit their kids publicly. I remember. I remember. Yeah, I remember kids getting spanked in public. Like when I was younger. Yeah, I was a little bit spanked in public. It's jarring if you see it now. When I lived in Florida, they spanked us once. I got in a fight with this kid and they spank both of us. The school? Yeah. Whoa. like school. No, it was public school. That's fucked. Oh, crazy. They paddle. I think my [02:01:06] friends mom spanked me once. That's crazy. That's my mom gave her permission. Oh, no. I think so. It was like, film it. We were bad though. Yeah, they used to be able to paddle you in school. Isn't it weird that we, I don't know like people, it's a form of abuse, but then people also, like, getting their ass bank while they're having sex. Oh yeah, it's no coincidence that our whole entire generation likes to get spanked and choked. Yeah. I think that's that movie. What was that movie? Shades of Grey? Yeah, yeah. That's all about child abuse. There's a new fucking book that's called it's like fairy porn It's called oh it's the new one He said his wife's reading it and she's like fucking so much that he's scared of her now [02:02:03] He says this book on every guy should buy it for his wife everyone is reading it It's it was like trending on like this gift list too of like, I wrote it down. A course. Yeah, there's some roses. Yeah. I've called a court of thorns and roses. And it's supposed to be amazing. It starts rather pleasant. What did that say? It starts rather pleasant. Can you go back to that? It starts rather pleasant. Yeah, it starts rather pleasant. Your usual escape is fantasy. It quickly subverts into a dark and brutal test of love. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the books in the series. I can see myself stealing ideas for D&D tricks. Okay, that's embarrassing. Okay, leave your D&D tricks out of it. This is amazing. This is some I've been attacked into a vein of superpowers. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. Catch me reading Fairy Porn at home. I'm curious, I love Fairy's. I'm not a porn reader. Really? I like, I do. I like to read porn. You like a fantasy porn reader? Yeah. I like getting on with you in the butt. Well, we know that in general, prefer reading it, whereas men, I think, would prefer watching. A visual Yeah, but those are all those romance novels like Fabio in the cover aren't those all kind of like porn for ladies [02:03:05] Yeah, but I thought that was for like older ladies. This is the cool one though Well, they have all kinds of wacky porn this big foot porn That's crazy. You know, you know, we talked about that I got into Tarzan porn. Oh, yeah, that seems like good porn That one was a good one lost in the jungle Tarzan comes through on the vines Nothing hotter than Tarzan coming through the butt. That's my rose and thorns A little splash in the jungle Me more he gives you champ VD Not me sharing an STD with the chimp he just thought yeah, that's what I'm saying Oh, dammit. The chip gets mad at you because you're taking his dick away with the chip You're up for the female channel. Oh, that's scary. That's not the beef I'm trying to have Tarzan fuck champs 100% yeah, what do you think he was doing? Yeah, yeah, you didn't have a teenage chimp crushy grew up with them [02:04:06] He was at the same high school at the other chimps. I mean they found him. He was a man But so crazy. Yeah, he was like a boy It's so crazy. They grew up with the chimps. Yeah me be at a collection of frogs. Oh Just mouth fuck frogs for chimps mouth fuck frogs. You ever seen that? What hold on? Yeah Do you think you can hear it. Johnny, I'm a mouth fuck them. Do you think you can hear it? Like, whatever, whatever. I don't know if we find enough videos. There's a lot of videos of chimps doing that. We know. We have a mouth fuck frog. 100%. I didn't, you said it so casually. I thought you knew. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. No. He You know, he just put your fucking This is where pocket pussy came from. This is a pocket pussy, a nature's pocket pussy. Imagine being this frog, you want, I can't believe this. I thought I was the king of the jungle. The frog's right there. Look at he's sticking his dick inside of its mouth. He's prying the mouth open with his guts. He's literally raping the frog. He's prying the mouth open with his guts. And now he's just like forcing it to suck on his dick. We're watching frog rape, but is it rape if it's animals? [02:05:07] Yes, right is right most what they do. I think it's right This is another one is holding out of frog and just beating himself off with it See him he just beat himself off with his It's not funny, but the mushrooms are making me laugh. It is not funny. It is really funny. It's funny. He's like, where are you going, bitch? Yeah. It comes like my dick. It throws him up. He just sucked my dick. He's got a bowener. He's throwing him up in the air to soften him up. Ew, look at the dick. He realizes you're getting a little hoppy here. Slow down. I'm gonna put it on my head. He's like, stop filming. Oh no. He's gotta put it on his head and he's just feeling his dick. He's letting it bounce around, thinking as freedom. Oh, you wanna go buy my dick, do ya? Yeah, now he's gonna tease you. He's a little, little, little bonear. I can't, I can't. Ah! This is so crazy. [02:06:02] This is crazy. Let's make me miss Moo Moo Fuku. You know what he's like? Oh my god. No, he's going to town with that poor little frog. That poor little frog is about to just explode. Honey, you want crap filled legs? Oh, these are some creamy crab legs. I got Texas creamy crab legs. He's like a guy holding like a girl's head down. Oh my god. Well a lot worse like you getting a giant's mouth fucking you to death. That's what it's like a giant hairy beast is mouth fucking you to death. And you're dying. It's like imagine if a giant did. Nice smiling. Yeah. That's her thorns and roses Giant porn Claim your balls Clamiel being just dying and this balls the wrinkles and his balls to get up to his dick. Is it called come for bigfoot? Oh, no, yeah, okay. We've talked about Too big but I feel like we maybe have talked about come for bigfoot and I can't tell if it was the viewer or another sick friend. It might be with me. Ah! [02:07:06] Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! It's big! It's big! Oh yeah. This is a ton of them. Yeah. It's not just one. I think it's just one lady, Virginia Wait. She must be a freaking half. Have you ever heard of the movie Roar? Did I tell you about that? Yes. With T.P. Hadron. Yes, that made me fuck me up. So can you go back so I could read the book? Home for birthfoot. No, I can't. It says on a week long outing in Mount Hood National Forest, what begins is a flirty, fun-filled trip soon turns into a nightmare. When an ape-like creature kidnaps a group of teen girls with the purpose of procreating with them. Why team? Does begins the erotic adventure of a lifetime and an inconceivable love story between a young woman and her horny Sasquatch. Okay, horny Sasquatch. Time out. I was on board until I found out the girls are teenage. Can we make a love-age girl? They could be 18. [02:08:00] You can do whatever you want in a book. You can do wild shit in a book. I guess you're right. Yeah, you can do wild horrible things in a book Boy an 18 year old still a teenager, right? That's true So you're with the demon. What is that? That's what you have to read after you come for big If you added shoes between seeing a UFO or seeing Bigfoot What would you pick? UFO. Yeah. Yeah, because I, you know, seeing Bigfoot would freak me out that they're in the woods with us like that. I don't like that. But UFO would be like, okay, it's real. It is what it is. There's no more mystery. UFO's way more interesting to me. Because it makes me feel creepy. I feel like if Bigfoot was real and there was a bunch of them, we treat them the same way we treat like Orcas. Orcas are amazing. That's an amazing creature. If it didn't exist, if you heard about an intelligent creature that speaks with sound, under water, yeah, it's got a brain that's way bigger than a human being's brain. Obviously they hunt, they think, they teach each other [02:09:06] things. You would say there's no way. This thing, who saw it? If there was no footage of it, it was just a myth that there was this creature that was really intelligent that killed the whales. Why? It kills whales? What? Fuck out of here. What is this thing? Yeah, but meanwhile they're real and we're like, yeah, killer whales. Oh, look, there's that's okay? Fuck out of here. That's so good. What is this thing? Yeah, but meanwhile they're real and we're like, yeah, killer whales. Oh look, there's an orca. That's how we would be like Bigfoot. Oh look, there's a Bigfoot. Would your other CS, there's Sasquatch and then there's Yeti's, right? That's the same, right? No one's more like Snow. One and the Himalayas. Yeah. Between the two I'd rather see the Yeti. Give me the snow we want. I feel like if you're in the place where the Yeti lives you fucked up already. Yeah, I feel like that too. Yeah, I want the Sasquatch, the nice nature. Yeah. You could be in the car. The Yeti's cold. It's nice and then you see a Sasquatch like, oh shit. Come for Sasqu real Upduck [02:10:11] Come for yeti doesn't hit the same yell for yeti come for yeti doesn't hit the same yell for yeti Come for Sasquatch. What about the mermaids? What about The Mermaids See a mermaid over a yeti or Sasquatch? Would you rather see a mermaid or a UFO? A real one. A real one. 100%. I would have a fuck about a mermaid. But UFO could be anything. It could be the government. It could be aliens. It could be the government being aliens. A mermaid is different. A mermaid's a mermaid. Imagine it's a hot ass mermaid. A mermaid opens up the opportunity that there's a whole other worlds of half humans under the water. Yeah. We gotta start going inside before we go outside Joe. We gotta see what's going on in our ship before we start flowing. Okay question. Would you rather see a fairy or a mermaid? The bunch of them together. A fairy. A fairy for sure. [02:11:00] Yeah. Yeah. Ferry's more interesting. I can't get into my fairies fantasy on here a mermaid It's just like a person with a fish tail like why is it so interesting? It's not even interesting No, there's a different kind of person that lives underwater like okay have fun Weirdo. Yeah, people live in the mountains Breathing air and having fun and doing stand-up. Yeah, have a good time. Move the gills. Get some lungs pussy. Yeah, you're living with sharks. You fucking moron. What are you doing? That's true. Yeah, that's true. Down there with your fucking trident. I run that shit. You bitch. There's people on TikTok that are teaching themselves telekinesis and they think they can move things with their minds. That's Russia and China that just subverting our youth Stupid and then they're getting smarter. They're doing like they're doing real math numbers And we're over here trying to move aluminum foil with wind We're all distracted by the dumbest shit on tiktok. Yeah people are just hiding big innators trying to move things [02:12:03] The chamoid, I'm in. Do you think that people can, like is like telekinesis, a possibility someday? Yeah. You think so? Because we have this thought. It's always existed, like the idea of moving things with your mind. And people always pretended they can do it. Right. What do you think that? Do you think it's like things that people like think one day, at one point in time, we weren't like this. Okay, one point in time where some hairy creature live in the woods and we evolved to become like this. How long before other things start emerging? And maybe that's what like psychic thought really is. They're emerging properties of human beings. We don't quite have it yet, but you get it. My friend called when I was thinking about them. You know that kind of shit. It's being a jellyfish. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you got to just fucking go with it until the virus hit you. No, it shows up with like synchronicities and stuff too. Well, also, I think it's very interesting when you're like in school and stuff and you're looking, they're looking, and you're like, you can feel that. Statistically, no. [02:13:06] They've done like studies and people can tell to a certain extent when people are looking at them. It seems to be more than just chance. It is more than chance, because you can, you can, it's in a room full of people, your head goes exactly to where you're being stared at and you make eye contact with them. That's happened to me so many times. There's also times where, I mean, we're so connected. There'll be times where we do shows and we both show up in like a pink jacket. We didn't talk about it before and we'll just both get there and be matching. It's weird too. Yeah, but yeah. But that's, you're both more likely to wear pink jackets. Yeah, I think we also. If I wore a pink jacket and you guys wearing a pink jacket, that would be the thing you've been saying. That's true. Which did happen the other night. We all wore pink. We did? Yeah, we did. Who's we? Me, you and Sarah. Oh, Ungar. Was that you? No, it was me, you and Paulie Shore. Oh, it I can't even believe I'm saying that. [02:14:06] Yeah, that's what they're me off. But I don't know. I think it's just weird. I mean, who knows? I think it's possible. I heard this story about a guy who died in a freezer. He worked in a place that had like all these freezers and he got locked in one. Oh, what? And he died from hypothermia. But they found out that the freeze, now I don't know if this is a true story, I don't even remember, I read it, but I read that he died, but they found out that the freezer didn't even work, that it had been unplugged, the chat power shit down and then he like literally like thought he was freezing and killed himself in the freezer. They found claw marks in it and everything. I don't know. I don't know, but they said they looked in the freezer they found claw marks in it and everything I don't know how to show me off I don't know I don't know but they said they looked in this one I don't know in the story I don't know I don't remember a long time ago I'm having traces of that story pop in his mental state He tricked himself into thinking he was dying and he died he had like a fucking heart attack I'm burning I'm burning and you I could see that you could have a heart attack Yeah, and then he was like trying to cause way out But then they said that the freezer wasn't even put in and he would have lived if he would have just fucking that's deranged [02:15:10] Chilled out a little no pen intended. How do you even fit into a freezer? How do you don't know it's not cold? Yeah, how do you not know it's not cold? You don't you really think you're freezing it But if you're in there and you're like, I remember. I remember. I remember being a kid. I get the big one. It's probably cold for a while. And wanting to go into the refrigerator as a kid. Being like opening it, my mom being like, I can't go in the refrigerator. Oh yeah, you want to go in there like a fuck. Yeah, that's on the ground. I just want to see if you fit. It's nice and warm. Your hands are cold. Just put your hands in it. This a fucked up movie, a horror movie about that where these kids go to visit their grandparents. It's a cold winch. The grandparents aren't really their grandparents. Oh, I saw that movie. It's a crazy people that took over the grandparents' house and killed the grandparents and she's like those aren't your grandparents and the kids realize [02:16:06] They've been staying with two strangers. They're at the wrong house psycho strangers psycho. What is the name of that movie that movie was actually really fucked up That was a good movie. Yeah, what was it called? I have no idea the others or something like that The visit the see something like that it was really horrible Yeah, this is it. Yeah. Oh, this is it. Oh, I remember. There's a very creepy movie because it gets it builds. It's like a slow creep. Yeah, and yeah, yeah, even watching it looks creepy. Oh, the grandparents look off from the beginning now that you know. Well, now that you know, but at the beginning, they just seem a little off, like just something is wrong. Yeah, like maybe they had to measure something. You almost think they're sick in a way. You're like, man, they're not doing too well. These are the people that killed your grandparents. Yeah. It was a good movie. You know, the movie that fucked me up was The Strangers. That movie fucked me up for years. [02:17:06] It's a movie about just strangers showing up at your house at night in mask. And it's like this, not into that. Like this knock and then it's a couple on their anniversary, they're in the middle of the woods and just these people show up. And then they go through this whole night where they're being tortured and murdered. And then the movie, the end of the movie the yeah at the end of the movie they asked them they're like why are you doing this and they're like because you were home and it's like no it's just a movie about demented people. Oh boy that's why you need fire. Yeah the strangers make you believe in the right bear arms. You fix that problem real quick. Yeah you'll see them skadattling with their mask off quick. Remember when we saw a Haley Joel Osman on the plane and we knew it was him because of his eyes. Yeah, he was wearing a mask and we're like, now we see those funky eyes from here. Do you see dead people? Oh, this kid from signs. Oh, wow. I'm a wreck of sexism from here. I'm a mask on and I know his eyes. [02:18:02] That movie fucking changed my life signs really stayed with not signs Uh, six and six and yeah, that fucked me out signs really stayed Was the first movie I ever got fingered The first time I ever got fingered was inside He does have very distant He does look at his eyes again The only person who has eyes that distinct besides him are a bush at me Yeah, he's got eyes you can't miss like you can't wear a mask and be like I was like okay, Haley Joel, half on and then it's time to be like a Russian wrestler. Yeah, yeah, you're a pastoral. Yeah, he did that trippy movie AI. Remember that one where I was about the couple where they got so advanced that you could buy a child if you lost a child that you could buy a very realistic version of one for your grief. And it would like learn to love you. And then their child actually came back from the coma so that they had. Oh my God. Do you have two kids? They have two kids. [02:19:01] The robot kid. Oh my God. Damn it. Robot kid. Oh god. It was a good movie. Is that the robot falling apart? That's because the other son would taunt him because he could really eat. And so the robot kid started almost feeling like, well, if he can eat, I can eat. I'm the real son too. And then it started like things went bad. Oh, boy, I never saw this. Oh, it's so crazy. It's so trippy. And then eventually like the robot lives forever, but he actually loves this family and this woman like a mother, but then eventually everyone dies out and he's like still like the woman. Oh, you spoil alert of the shit of that movie. When did that movie come out? 1990. I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm sorry, I couldn't hold it any longer. I've been waiting for a while to talk. Is there a... There's this, there's this thing that somebody set me online. Fairly jealous. Six in it. There's this thing that someone set me online where you can make an AI-generated boyfriend. Well, I could literally, I could literally, I could literally, I could literally, I could literally, I could literally, I could literally, I could literally, [02:20:00] I could literally, I could on only fans. Oh, I Well, you can literally have a religion 100% tell me that's true. You can make your own boyfriend I just before I got that I have no Was it say somebody said with Spielberg's first and only choice for the role to betroth the character Osment avoided blinking his eyes and programmed himself with good posture. He did. He did. It's something that it said I saw in a Reddit post that he didn't blink for a year. I bet that I bet that he played in a lane. A robot voice. So well, it was this movie is trippy as fuck. I bet the trailer's crazy too. What's his ability? I don't want to wait. What do you mean? How do you not blink I'm gonna make sure that you're not blank for an entire year. I don't think that's right. That's fucked up. You're not supposed to go to sleep. Listen, we saw him on the plane. Something happened to him. Boss's ability to blank. Could he close his eyes? There doesn't count as a blank. It's not quick. No, closing your eyes is different than blanking. Yeah, I just, now I'm trying to know about blanking. quick. How do you not blink for a whole year? Sometimes when I don't know when [02:21:06] no one was looking he was getting a few. Okay, don't worry guys. It's like not shooting for a whole year. I can't believe this is actual title. It wasn't allowed to blink. Stop blinking. Stop blinking. Stop again. This is so stupid. Those are directors with no, if stop blinking. Let's blinking. Haley Jal Osmond stops blinking for one year. When Spielberg tells you not to blink, you stop blinking. I'm sorry, Spielberg, if you're listening, I will not blink. It will be in a movie. I'll stop blinking for a year. I'll stop blinking for a year too. You asked if you played good robots? Yeah. Yeah. He both went into robot mode. Yeah. He both went into robot mode. Yeah, yeah. How long before you think like we're gonna go over someone's house and they're gonna have a robot like cleaning out? Well, remember that chose small wonder? No. Okay, can you, small wonder, Vicki? It was one of my favorite shows. She was just like this house robot. [02:22:01] What? You guys didn't know what I'm talking about. It was one of my favorite shows. I'm even Kim's looking at you. Yeah, I never heard of that. Small wonder. Oh yeah, small wonder. What do you talk about? People need to talk more about small wonder. Is this, look, she's a robot. I grew up watching this. She's a broken robot. What is she doing? She's always looking her robot, that she shrugs her shoulder. No, she cleans and she does a lot of stuff. What? No, this is really weird. You watch this movie. Is this series? I know it. Oh my God. It was my favorite joke. This is why. This is why you need Adderall. This is why you started watching. You see her outfit? I'd Tia's a child yeah, how do you guys not how do you guys never see this I hate this and if you look at her back Most expensive show this is so crazy. It was my favorite show Sparks coming out of her back. She's broke and at one point and one time she started smoking cigarettes and she looks like it's crazy [02:23:03] Did she have the personality of a child or did she? Well, a max natch is fucking up your kids. He has a prisoner in his own home. He has a good point. The parents should reconsider Vicki living there. Emile, the parents are letting this robot pick your fucking kid up. Yeah. With violence. I mean, have some control in that. Look at her back. Fuck, who's going is going on back is all like Yeah, she kind of looks like a young you I Discussed this show she would be vacuuming she'd be smoking cigarettes It was one of my favorite shows growing up Smok it small Vicky I was gonna be here for a long wean one here, but if I thought it would I mean that right. No, a lot of people, no small wonder. I'm shocked you guys don't to be honest. Now I do. How long was it on for? I don't know. You had to be there for three months and 90. It was always on my TV. It would be there for January to March. [02:24:00] I had like 10 seasons because it was always on. Sweet through March 85 if you call small underwear you are I had a couple around What are you what you are you are you are you? Remember what I was gonna say. Are you okay? That's where I was at. Are you still on that room? No. Do you wish you were? No. Not at all. You never want to taste? No. It feels really nice to be able to sleep. I mean, I was on it for so long. And when you're on it, it also makes you, it's really hard to live in the present moment when you're just thinking about sending emails. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't really have much inner peace when I was on it. I did. I tell you, I can't imagine how you were living because you constantly still think about emails. She thinks about emails more than anyone I know. [02:25:01] So it was just like a hundred times whatever. She's already on top of it. Like she already is whatever it's doing. Yeah. Maybe it rewired you. Maybe. Maybe it made you like more like those are like grooves that you naturally go into now. Because of the neural pathways or something from something new. Yeah. I don't know. Corridors.. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. When did you stop taking it? In 2019. Brody died. Brody died. It was literally Brody died. And I was like, I need to stop taking an arrows because I was so sad I just wanted to just sleep. So I just stopped taking it cold turkey. And then I went into a psychosis and then ever since then I've never taken it again. How long was psychosis last? [02:26:00] Like three days. It was, I think I feel like it lasted longer for you because before you even left, there was a few days of like it built up to it. It was like a slow career. I don't think it just hit and was three days and was over. It was like a almost like you're being, especially like with my experience with you. It's like I was being gassed like, not gassed like, but I'm like, am I, is she off or am I just being judgmental? You know what I mean? Where you're like, there's a few days where you're like, I think something's off or maybe she's in a really good mood and you kind of not sure to question it or maybe I'm off and I'm annoyed by her good mood, but I'm like, something's weird. Right. Let me tell you, going to the psych ward will change you. 72 hours psychiatric cold will do something to you. What happened in there? When I got there, the best food. The best food. Well, but also I probably wasn't eating for like 10 years because I was cracked down on that at all. So when I, it was just food. It was actually just food. [02:27:03] The best part of being in there was there was like a music segment where this old guy would come in and he'd have like a tambourine. And we'd all sit around. And some old retirement home entertainment going on. No, but it was like, it was the only thing I looked forward to like the music time. Cause it was like all these, it was just like four mentally ill people. Been like, what song do you want to hear? I'm like do you can you do cross-be-sales nation young? He's like I can oh my great I'm cooking in there. It's very cookie. There was a guy who I remember I looked over and he Wasn't wearing pants and he was like on the phone with his wife and when you're on the phone the phone's a short cord so you don't hang yourself with it No pants like right I can't write with this chick she's like we got to get a lawyer to get out of here [02:28:03] I was like you're right. I'm like call my pants up. I need a lawyer to get out of here. They're like we've put you in here. You're not getting a lawyer to get out of there. Oh my god that's hilarious. All right ladies I'm gonna wrap this up. Okay. Fun times. Tell everybody how to get your podcast where you are on social media. Hail yeah. It's this bitch Spotify, iTunes YouTube. We're every fun podcast. We're every fun podcast. New episodes of that every Monday, and then you can find me on Wednesday on Shink, that's SH ENK, and for Show Dates at Princess Shink, that's Princess like normal, and then another SH ENK. Yeah, that's us. That's us. Yes, the Spitch Podcast, KimKongden.com for show dates. Make sure you check out my special childless milk. I'm recording it. Coming out in the new year. I'm very excited about it. The KimKongden takeover podcast. I don't know when this comes out, but I actually am shows in Austin this week. So check out my social media. All right, beautiful. Thank you, ladies