#2006 - Brian Simpson

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Brian Simpson

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Brian Simpson is a stand-up comic who hosts the "Bottom of the Barrel" improvised comedy show at the Comedy Mothership and his own podcast, "BS with Brian Simpson." Watch his new special, "Brian Simpson: Live from the Mothership," on Netflix. www.briansimpsoncomedy.com

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12mo ago

Q: Does any of the innumerable longevity protocols that Brogan and his "friends" constantly and shamelessly peddle actually work? A: "...bitch you must be outside yo mind..."

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Nice. Listen to the podcast, BS with Brian Simpson. It's pretty good. It's very good. You enjoy doing it? I love it, man. I love it. I feel like you need something outside of comedy. Like when you start doing it for money, you have to do something else so you're not just doing comp. Yeah, it also helps your brain just because you're talking about stuff and thinking about stuff. Yeah, yeah. Because of subjects. Yeah, and I'm getting better at it too. Just having to find your own energy every week or whatever. I just like having something to do. Yeah. No, it's great. It's fun. I think the best tool for comics is the one person podcast, which you do too. It's like where one person gets to rant about things. You have guests on, but sometimes you just rant about things. Right, yeah. I think that is where Burr comes up with a lot of his material. That's where Tim Dillon comes up with a lot of his material. Oh, yeah. It's like it's extra superpower. It's a lot of mine from regret. I'll say something. Because what I do is I have my producer find these articles, and I never read them. He gives me the gist of it, and I just react. And sometimes I'm like, oh, why did you say that? When I heard about the submarine people, the first thing I said was, what kind of stupid? But I forget. I got empathy for the people still. They're dumb as fuck, but being trapped in a box is one of the worst ways to go. And they haven't found them yet, but they're here and banging now. Yeah. What does that mean? They have 30 hours, less than 30 hours now, before they run out of air. Yeah, I think they're dead. I think they're already gone. Well, if there's bang, if someone's banging. As of Tuesday afternoon, they had 40 to 41 hours. That was 24 hours ago now. Oh, Jesus Christ. As of recording. So they got like 20 hours. Yeah. Everybody that's still alive is really sleepy right now. Jesus Christ. 5 or 6 AM Thursday. Eastern Standard Time is whenever I'm breathing. Tomorrow morning. Oh my God. Oh my God. Well, that's if they're all still alive. True. Right? Right. I think somebody on there might have made a heroic sacrifice or something. What does that do for anybody? It leaves the air for one person to breathe. Do you think someone killed someone so they have more air? I think somebody might have killed themselves so everybody else had more air. How are you going to kill yourself in front of everybody on a little tiny, small, or even smaller in this room? Just have somebody choke you out. You know how much energy you would take to choke someone out? Yeah, because I'd rather just sit still. One of them down there with their son. Can you imagine being on there with your child? You're like, baby, look, daddy showed you how to do. I showed you how to do the rear neck. Oh my God. Finish me off. Live for the rest of us. Oh my God. I don't think that anybody's going to do that. I think they're just going to assume they're all going to die together. Yeah? Yeah. If they die together. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea what ability they have to pull that thing up. Yeah. Oh, can you imagine what's on the cell phones? Like these hours now. They still had hope yesterday probably. Oh my God. But right now, can you imagine? Oh my God. Or being the guy that forgot your charger? Well, the crazy thing is Jamie pointed this out yesterday. There's lawsuits, apparently. Did you point it out? No, you didn't tell me. Someone told me in the green room. I did. It was you? About the window? Yes. Yeah. That was you. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, the guy. So tell people. Yeah. Someone yesterday, I read that there was a lawsuit in 2018. A whistleblower was trying to report that the window, the glass wasn't rated for that depth. Yeah. And they fired him, apparently. I'll send it to you, Jamie. Yeah, you sent it to me on Twitter. Oh, you found it? OK. OceanGate was warned of potential for catastrophic problems with Titanic mission. Titanic mission. What was I saying? January 2018, the company's engineering team was about to hand over the craft. Named Titan to the crew would be responsible for ensuring the safety of its future passengers. But the experts inside and outside the company were beginning to sound alarms. OceanGate's director of marine operations, David Lockridge, started working on a report around the time, according to court documents. Ultimately producing a scathing document to which he said the craft needed more testing and stressed the potential dangers of the pastures of the Titan as the submersible reached extreme depths. Two months later, OceanGate faced similar dire calls from more than three dozen people, industry leaders, deep sea explorers, and oceanographers who warned in a letter to its chief executive, Stockton Rush, that the company's experimental approach and its decision to forego a traditional assessment could lead to potentially catastrophic problems with the Titanic mission. So apparently they've done it as 100 times? Yeah, that's not enough. Yeah, they've done it 100 times. Imagine being number 99. And you hear about this? Yeah, you know, and I read too this morning, some reporter was on one, he was on the boat last year, and it got lost for like five hours, this submersible. And he didn't say anything. Oh my God. Says Mr. Lockridge reported learning that the viewport that lets the pastures see outside the craft was only certified to work at depths of up to 1,300 meters. That is far less than would be necessary for trips to the Titanic, which is nearly 4,000 meters below the ocean surface. The paying pastures would not be aware and would not be informed of this experimental design. Lawyers for Mr. Lockridge wrote in court filings, the meeting led Ocean Gate to fire Mr. Lockridge. Wow. According to court documents filed by both sides, Ocean Gate has set in court records that he was not an engineer, that he refused to accept information for the company's engineering team, and that the acoustic monitoring of the hull strength was better than the kind of testing that Mr. Lockridge felt necessary. The company sentenced lawsuit that it appeared Mr. Lockridge was trying to be fired. Mr. Lockridge responded by alleging wrongful termination, legal battle ended in a settlement later in 2018. So it seems like it was him, but two dozen other people? A separate warning came from- 38 experts. Yeah, received the same year from 38 experts in the submersible craft industry. All of them were members of the Manned Underwater Vehicles Committee of the Marine Technology Society, a 60-year-old industry group that promotes studies and teaches the public about ocean technology. The experts wrote in their letter to Mr. Rush that they had unanimous concern about the way the Titan was developed and about the planned missions to the Titanic wreckage. Oh, look at this shit. The letter said that Ocean Gate's marketing of the Titan had been at minimum misleading because it claimed that the submersible would meet or exceed the safety standards of a risk assessment company known as D&V, even though the company had no plans to have the craft formally certified by the agency. Oh, God, people are gross. Money, it's always money. It's always money. It's always money. It's money and hubris. Man, it's weird because for some people, there's no such thing as enough money. Yeah. And I don't understand that. I don't understand it either. If I go the rest of my life making the money, I make it right now, I'll be great. Yeah. Yeah, I got enough money. Look, it's like I got enough money where I would not, I don't make decisions based on that. You know what Brian Callan told me once? It's a great quote. He said, once you have enough money to go to a restaurant and not worry about what food costs, he goes, everything else is bullshit. Right. You just go to dinner and not think about it, not to worry. What was that old saying? It was like $70,000. Once you pass $70,000, more money doesn't make you happy. I mean, that was years ago. It was probably like 85 now. But it was like, once you pass that, once you're up around there, where you can just buy a good meal when not think about it. Yeah, it's like, I don't make decisions where that's the number one factor. Where it's like, oh, you could make $10,000 and do a good job, or you could make $100,000 and betray your two closest friends. It's like, I just take the 10. I don't need $90,000. You know what I mean? But they don't think about the guilt that would come up with the betrayal. Imagine bringing your son down there. Imagine the arrogance. Oh, well, that guy, I think the guy with his son, is that the same guy that flew in Jeff Bezos' rocket ship? I'm a shit- This dude's a risk taker. I think that's the guy that owns the whole... Oh, God. I think he owns the ship, not the submersible company. But- Dude, that is so terrifying. But didn't James Cameron do that? Yeah, James Cameron went down there before he filmed Titanic. Yeah. But I don't think he- I think he went solo. But he didn't take all, but he was in control of the craft. I don't think somebody was in control of it from somewhere else. See if you have footage of that. James Cameron's a wild motherfucker. Yeah. He's a wild dude. I mean, just to be him and decide to do that because you're filming the Titanic. I think that was, he was filming Avatar, right? He was filming a documentary. On the Titanic. On, yeah, on like, what it's like to even do, Deep Sea Challenge is what was called, 3D trailer. Yeah, this is wild. They went, I think they went to the bottom of the ocean. How far is that? There's another video I was pulling up. Have you seen that like, it's an animation of how deep the ocean gets? And it just shows you how compared to a bunch of stuff on land, and then like how far the minimum depths are, and then the maximum depths. So he went to the maximum, like Mariana Trench. It's more than twice as far down as the Titanic is. Oh my God. And now don't they think there's a deeper spot in there? Yeah, I think they found some other spots they think are deeper. Challenger Deep? Why am I thinking about that? They might've done this live, I think, too. Oh my God. No, Challenger Deep is an area in the Mariana Trench. I mean, but I just imagine just relying on all that equipment to continue to work properly. But it also looks like they, maybe not, whereas this current submarine didn't have any sort of tethering to it. His did? He might have, but I don't know, actually. Yeah, but you know what's wild to me, though, is, you know how one of the conspiracies about the moon landing is that they really got a- Stanley Kubrick? Stanley Kubrick to film it. We have a fucking director here claiming that he went to the bottom of the ocean, and no one suspects that he made it all up. Yeah, right? Yeah, how we know he fucking really went down there. Right. Yeah. No kidding. How many people were there? Right. Was the witness, is all we got is footage of him inside that thing moving around. Yeah, and that's from the 90s. It was probably cheaper to fake it. No, that's new. That's pretty new. I think it's like 2010 or 11. Yeah, it's less than 10 years old. Oh, so he didn't do that for the Titanic? No. No, no, I think he did it for Avatar. Because you know, Avatar 2, a lot of it is water. Yeah. Apparently, it's like one of the most expensive movies to film ever. Great movie. Fuck yeah, it was great. The next three got pushed back. The last one's coming out now in 2031. Jesus Christ. And the main girl's like, I'll be like 50. I shot this the first one, and I was 20 something. Yeah, but all you're doing is making faces. Duh! Yeah, you'll be all right. But if you get in a role like that, or you have to come back again and again and again, it's a little bit of a velvet prison for a lot of those guys. Yeah. And I imagine they want to do other stuff. Yeah. But it's also you want that security. Well, I think that's why they, is that why they killed off Batman? I mean, Iron Man in The Avengers? Was Robert Downey Jr. like enough already? No. They have a giant, giant, giant story plan that's going on. That's way bigger. It's like they're on phase five now or something wild with that. They're allowed to do weird shit now, because the multiverse, they can just go back in time and reset things. That's happened in DC, brought in the multiverse too. That's why Michael Keating came back. They've earned so much leeway from the fans. Yeah. A Marvel movie just has to be better than okay. And people are like, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because those, the end, because we know what the end was gonna have. Because the people in the comics, they go way harder than they do in it. Oh yeah. Like if HBO had bought the rights to Marvel, it would be some dark shit. Yeah. Yeah, in the comics, so you watched, did you watch it in the movies, the Marvel movies? Yeah, I've watched a few of them. Most of them. In the movies, Thanos' motivation is he wants balance in the universe. So he wants to find everything so he can snap away half the people so it's more resources for the people left. That's a stupid fucking reason. In the comics, what happened is from a little kid, Thanos was like, he was a freak, like a mutant. He looked like that. And people treated him like shit. And his only friend was Mistress Death. She would visit him. Like Death was her realm. Like there was really, she was in charge of all dead shit. Oh wow. And something happened and she fucking hates him. Like he's banned from her realm, right? He's in love with her. He's banned from her realm, that's why he can't die. Oh my God. And he's trying to impress her by sending her more souls. So he wants to put it, gauntlet so he can snap it away. So the movie ends, the movie would have ended in a completely different way. He ended up having like, he created a platform for her in a throne so she could watch when he snapped away the rest of the universe. And all of the fucking Avengers and everybody showed up to fight this motherfucker. It was an epic battle. And when it happened to his daughter, you know the robot chick that betrayed him? Her punishment was like, she was just stuck standing still. I forget, he did something horrible to her. But she was just stuck like a slave standing still. And every superhero in the universe is fighting this just Thanos, trying to get that gauntlet off before he snaps, you know? And the robot bitch who he, who he, the last person he saw coming, she like used her last bit of willpower and snapped out of it for a second and snatched the glove off. The comic books went hard, man. I wonder why they took that plot line away. Cause that's a great plot line. He's in love with death. Bro, this is this dude on YouTube called Comics Explained. He's the biggest, like this mother, like I didn't read any of that. He does these videos where he just walks you through the whole story. You know, some of them four or five, six hours long, he goes through the whole issues and tells you the whole shit so you don't have to. And I was like, I watch this motherfucker all the time. He walked me through that whole shit. I was like, oh, this was way better than the movies. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, but I think it would have just taken them longer. Cause they, you, they got to make, they have to make the movies for people that don't read the comics. Right. So they can't always do everything that's in there, but. That sounds better though. It's way better than much. They have in the, it's, we're halfway through four now, I think on here of everything they've made. And then they have all the stuff that's coming out. There's a bunch of stuff on the way too. Yeah. There's two new giant of entries. Movie's coming. No, we don't want, no, we in phase five now. Yeah, yeah. We're here. We're like, isn't that crazy though? Oh, blade. There's a blade coming out later this year. There, Daredevil, I've seen X-Men. Yeah. There's X-Men supposedly supposed to be coming out at some point to bring them back into the fold. Oh, captain America, new world order. Just got the rights to Hulk back. So I'm expecting another Hulk movie to get in on some things. But Mark Ruffalo is not going to be the Hulk again. I don't know. I think there's going to be a new Hulk. Depends if they, I don't know what that is. Mark Ruffalo is busy being a political activist or something. It could take the rights to his face and put somebody else in there. Oh, God. Deep faked Hulk. He's out there like, Hulk, recycle. They can kind of do anything with CGI now. Bruce Willis gave up all the rights. He sold all the rights to his voice. Because, you know, he has, I think it's called aphasia. He's got a serious neurological condition. Something's really wrong with him. And so he gave up the rights to AI using deepfakes of him for ads and for a bunch of other things. He sold that. Wow. How much? I don't know. That's good question. I mean, that's worth it if you can't talk no more. Well, if you know that it's over and you're never going to work again. Yeah, way to get the bag. You're just trying to stay alive. I mean, he's just trying to stay alive. It's bad. There was a video of him with his family. I think they were celebrating a birthday. And he was just, you could see him struggling. It's so sad. Just for clarity, I just looked up an article. There's a report that he actually did not sell his rights. Oh. But they did. It's very confusing. It says, actor denies selling rights to AI company for digital twin. But there was also articles that said he did it. Right. No, yeah, it's 100%. I'm looking up that says that he did it. But there's one that's counter to that that says he did not. And then the quote is something like, the wording about rights is wrong. Bruce couldn't sell anyone rights. They are his by default. Anyone with any rights, they're his by default. The deep fake companies use artificial intelligence to create realistic simulations of famous figures. A deep fake of Willis appeared in an advert for Russian telecoms company last year. In August, 2021, Megafon launched an ad campaign with Bruce Willis and requested us to create a digital twin of the star. Upon the request, our engineers process a data set composed of 34,000 images of Bruce Willis and made his digital twin for this series of Megafon ads. Oh, interesting. It says James Earl Jones did something similar. Well, I mean, it makes sense. Especially if you're an old dude and you're done, you don't want to act anymore. Just sell your rights. And I mean, James Earl Jones will be making that Star Wars money till he die. Right. Yeah. And way after. They can just keep using his voice. Just for his voice. Isn't that wild? Man, I'm trying to get that bad. Oh. Yeah. The money you make when you don't have to do anything is, you know, that's freedom right there. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Just passive income. Just float in for you. I was just talking with somebody else about this. It's like, I think there's people that dream of being rich, but what they really want, the fantasy is really that they can do whatever they want. Yeah. They really dreaming of freedom. Yeah. But because we, you know, because we are in a capitalist society, freedom is being rich. Right. They dream of stuff too though. They dream of stuff. What do you mean? Stuff. Like if you don't have stuff, you want stuff. Oh right. What does that mean? Being able to buy what you want to buy, being able to do what you want to do. But then there's like the Bezos of the world, where it's like, for them it's about dominating. It's not about the amount of money. But he seems to have like, he resigned from the company. Right? He's not the CEO anymore. Did he? Yeah. Pauling. That's what I think he's doing. He's just banging that super hot girlfriend of his and traveling around the world in the biggest yacht that no one's ever built. He's doing all that anti-aging shit. Yeah, he's doing him. Who's that one billionaire that I was telling you about? He like, he takes blood transfusions from his son. That guy's weird. Man, but he does look younger. He looks great. But I mean, you probably could look that, there's guys that look that good that are his age that just work out all the time. Well, that's what I don't know, because he's doing so many things that I don't know what thing, what is he going overboard with? Like he takes like 40 vitamins in the morning and 40 more in the afternoon. He always sleeps at the same exact time no matter what. That seems tedious. I know, it's like, I'd rather just die sooner. You know, like I was telling you, I had a headache last night, because you know, all the shit that's going on in the club. Nonsense. There's nothing bad. But so then I had a hard time going to sleep. And then I got up in the morning and I was foggy as shit, got in the cold plunge. Like I know I'm not at optimum today. Yeah. I know it, but you know, that's life. That's life. That is life. Suck it up, bitch. Like, is that him and his son? So he looks to me like a normal fit 40 year old guy. Nah, but show a picture of him from like five years ago. What, did he look bad? He just didn't- He looks better? He looks worse, yeah. He looks better now. Well, maybe back then he was working too. That's him right there. See what the- Is he working still? Yeah, go back. Is that not him? Oh, that's him? Right, that's him right there. Oh, well also it looks like he lost weight. He got fitter. Yeah, he went goth. Which makes you healthier. He looks like more like a superhero than goth. Like what is that strap on his shoulder? What is he doing? Is that a bulletproof vest? Is that guy a superhero? What is that outfit? Imagine wearing that outfit. If you showed up at the mothership with that outfit, you'd never be like, Brian Simpson, what the fuck are you smoking? Tony might rock that. Tony would rock that with a big belt buckle. No, but I bet you, I bet you it's probably something that like lets a certain frequency of light to his nipples that keep him from retaining vitamin D or some shit. Right, right. What is that stupid shirt, man? That shirt's ridiculous. Yeah, he's got them zero shoes on. Yeah. Yeah, it's always doing all the face stuff too. See, that's another thing that they can do. They do this face thing. Oh Jesus, what happened to his face? I think he just got cold. Oh, that's a different guy. Oh, same thing. He said I tried. He tried, okay. Yeah, but what is he doing right there? It says 45 year old CEO to the right of that, yeah. So what is he doing? Okay, so there's. The way Cummings does. Yeah, there's a thing that they do where they like put these like micro needles all over your face and then they rub stem cells in your face. I know a few people that have had that done. But now imagine the sun doing this from 18. You know? Yeah. That might be a whole different thing. Yeah, so he eats 2,000 calories a day. But he's vegan. Yeah, that's not good. That's a lot of vegetables. But that's interesting that he would choose that route. The vegan route for longevity. Because there's a lot of nutritional pitfalls in that. Can you not make up for those? You can. Because like you said, he takes like 50 items. Yeah, it's possible. It's possible to do. But the most nutrient dense foods are red meat. That's the most nutrient dense foods. There's just a lot of weird propaganda. He might switch it up. Well, who knows? I mean, he doesn't look that good there though. So that thing again. But it's like for a lot of people on vegan diets, it's hard to put mass on. I mean, he looks okay. But he looks like a normal 45 year old guy that's fit. And I think that's his dad too. See that picture right there in the middle? Wow. Him, his son and his dad all did the transfusions. I'm not sure I like that picture. Him in the middle. Like why were you looking at me like that? Imagine if you go over someone's house and the son and the dad and the little kid, they're all posed like this. Like, come on. What are you doing? If I went over your house. It's like a cowboy glider. And you were there with two other dudes. Like, hey man, I'm gonna leave. We were embracing? Yeah, I mean, I want you guys to be happy. The right's not as bad as the one on the right. No, the one on the right is normal. Like Joe, this is how we stay younger, Joe. It's cuddle puddles. It looks like his dad's not listening. Intergenerational cuddle puddle. That bell puddle is fucking straining. Yeah, well he's definitely holding in his stomach. Yeah, on top of that, like that guy's not listening. Isn't it funny? Like the son is on this crazy health kick that dad looks like he's eating meatball subs. Oh yeah, well I think he was estranged from the dad and the son until like recently. And they got back together for the transfusion. Oh man, that is so hard for people. I've met people that like their kid won't talk to them. Like, oh my God. Yeah, that's wild. What happened? And then I meet the opposite. Like last night at the club, there were two people that, where it was like it was just a dad out with his son. Well, one was out with his son and one was out with his daughter. Yeah. I was like, that's awesome. Beautiful. If you're 50 and your 25 year old daughter wants to still hang out with you, you did pretty good. Yes. You know? No, it's beautiful. Hanging out with your kids is awesome. I don't understand. I mean, you know, all sorts of circumstances. Divorce, parents turn one kid against the other parent. That's horrible. I've seen that shit happen. That's like when you date manipulative, vindictive people and they do it to other people and you don't think they're ever gonna do it to you, guess what? Guess what? You're gonna be other people if they don't like you anymore. But you know what though? While sleeping, Johnson is hooked up to a machine that counts the number of nighttime erections. Oh wow. This guy's going too hard with data. He also takes daily measurements of his weight, body mass index, body fat, blood glucose levels and heart rate variations. I mean, okay. Maybe he has a lucky number. He wakes up 13, yes. 13 boners. How many boners do you think you get in the night? I don't know what. What's a good number? I didn't know you got him at night. I get him every now and then I go to pee and I gotta like do the lean. But why do you need to measure? Is there a normal amount? Right. Yeah. Oh man. I don't wanna know that much data. I don't wanna be worried about stuff like that. There's so much data. That ain't gonna come out with like a apple cock ring that'll measure for you. Five. Five. Five nocturnal erections during an eight hour sleep cycle. Typically with each erection lasting about 25 minutes. That's about one erection every 90 minutes. Oh man. Interesting. But that's weird. Like why is he measuring, I guess just find out what his testosterone levels are, but wouldn't you be able to do that with blood levels? I don't know. Yeah man, you can go crazy. Like when I had that whoop thing, like if I looked at it, I mean I still have it, I just haven't been wearing it. But if you look at it and it says you only got like 25% recovery, but you feel good. You're like what the fuck is going on? How come I feel good? You know? But that was actually a sign that a lot of people had COVID because they would have an eight hour sleep and they'd wake up and it'd be like 4% recovery. Like what the fuck is going on? Like the way you were breathing. It's your body struggling. Your body's not doing so good, you know? Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I still do the health tracking, but sometimes I wonder. I just listen to my body for the most part. I mean I do measure my heart rate and I do wear a heart rate strap when I do some of my workouts. But like yesterday, there's a couple of people in my family that are sick right now. Not bad, but enough, you know, that it's like, they're sick. And I was working out yesterday, I was like, boy do I feel like a bitch. Like I just wanted to stop. But I felt strong enough to do it. But it was like this, so I'm riding this line where I don't want to overstress myself and like tax my immune system, but I don't want to pussy out of my workout. So I gotta feel it along the way while I'm doing it. It's like I'm going through a dark room and I'm just feeling the walls by hand, you know? Yeah, see that's, you got more discipline than me. I would just give in. Well I have a particular type of mental illness. Like I need to do physical things. If I don't, my brain doesn't work that good. It's like too confused. It's riddled with extra energy and data that it doesn't need. It concentrates on stupid shit. It's not good for me. For me, I need exertion. But when I have exertion, I'm calm and friendly and nice and easy going and I'm compassionate and I think about other people, like their problems before I react to things. But when I'm like amped up, like if I haven't worked out for three days, like I'm not good at decisions. Oh yeah. You know, because then you want to say things like, shut the fuck up. But when you say shut the fuck up, nobody hears shut the fuck up. They get mad at you. Like they don't think, oh I should shut the fuck up. Like it's the most ineffective thing to say. Unless you're really thinking about violence and you're letting someone know, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna put you in the hospital. Unless it's that. Yeah. It's a warning? Who talking about respect the other day? Like that shit'll save your life in a whole bunch of situations. Fuck yeah, respect people. If all else fails, just be respectful. Always, always be respectful. It's wild now because nowadays it's like, it just seems like a lot of people are comfortable being disrespectful. It's internet. It's kinda crazy man. Yeah, what's that internet culture? Like that way of communicating becomes a part of your system. You're used to communicating like that. There's so many people that are so crazy on Twitter. The way they talk to people. Like I couldn't imagine talking to someone like that to their face. Just because it's so mean. It's so shitty. It's fighting words to some people. It's also such a pussy move because you know the person's not there. You're saying mean shit to them to hurt their feelings, knowing that they're not there. And then you keep checking for replies. Like a sick fuck. Because on top of it, it's like, but everyone sees this. Yeah, it's public. It's more important for me to get in a good clap back than it is. Oh yeah. Right? I had an old gym, one of my gym teachers used to like, whenever it got like physical in physical education class, like somebody wanted to fight or whatever. He would let us fight, but he would take you in the closet where we put the mats. And he'd be like, well, y'all can fight in here in front of me. But like you just can't fight in front of everyone. Oh wow. And 90% of the time people go in that closet and make up. Yeah. Yeah, because it's like, it's the wanting to save face that makes you not be able to like, less shit though. It's also when you get in that closet, you realize it's real. So you're looking for a way out of this. If I don't get anything out of it, no one sees it. So now how do I benefit from beating you up? We're gonna both just leave here and tell people what happened. Right. No one's gonna see it. And you know, it's also, you're about to get your face punched in. Yeah, but that shit'll backfire though too. Cause some people really want to scrap, but you take them in there and it's a problem. Yeah, they're looking forward to it. I had Mike Perry on the podcast the other day. He's a bare knuckle boxing guy that came over from the UFC. That dude, like some people pretend to not give a fuck. That dude doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't give a fuck. Better him than me. Thank God there's people like that. Yeah, there's people like that out there and they're so fucking entertaining to watch them fight. Yeah. And you know what, as much as I made fun of it when it first came out, the slap league. Well, you like it? I like the highlights. I haven't watched a full match, but some of the people in there are characters, man. Yeah, for sure. If you're gonna get slapped in the face for a living, probably be a character. Yeah. It's designed for those clips. I think, I think Dana needs to spring off. They need to have a separate champ for front hand and back hand slaps. Ooh, backhand slap. Yeah, they need a backhand slap champion. If you backhand slap, you gotta be dressed like a pimp. You gotta have some fly velvet suit on, something just beautiful and purple. Instead of a belt, it's just a cape for the champ. Yeah, yeah, a cape. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, and a crown maybe too. Big old pimp crown. And a chalice. Big time. Remember pimp's up hose down? Oh yeah. There was a while where like- They won't air shit like that. They would never air shit like that today. It's horrible exploitation. And they were like celebrating these guys. Yeah, HBO, listen, we gotta give HBO their flowers. Yes. They've made some of the most sensational TV since, I mean, from the time I was a kid. Fuck yeah. On up to now. They got some, they got more, they probably got, their batting average is higher than every other network. Their batting average is sensational. Yeah, yeah. So many good shows. There's more good shows than bad shows on HBO. Just succession, which just ended. Yeah, succession was great. Fucking great show. Yeah. And the ending, holy shit. Man, you know what? I clapped in my house. I was like, thank you. I feel different about the ending every time I think about it. Well, it's, it's so, there's so much there. There's so, it's so, you're so conflicted because there's no heroes. There's no heroes. They're all fucking losers. And they're, that's real. And that's the real corporate world. Think about the fact that at the end of the day, losing was still them all being rich. Billionaires. Like unbelievably wealthy. Unbelievably wealthy. And they were so, cause like I told you, like people like that, it's not about the amount of money. They wanted to be CEO. They all did. And none of them ended up being. And, and, and, and, and, and what's the, what's the, you know, the whole, the whole art of war thing when it's like, it's like never go beyond victory. So when I first watched it, I was like, man, fuck she, she'd rather be under Tom who betrayed her than her brother be in charge. But then I thought about it at the end. And it's like the brother fucked up. And I don't know if this, if this was intentional, but I think I like to think it is. You never go beyond winning. He had it won. He had it sold out. And you stop. You don't do too much. And when he was, he wanted to gloat one last time in the room. And you remember he excluded Shiv again. He was like me, me and my brother was able to bring it across the line. He, that was her one thing. Like stop excluding me. I'm smarter than both of y'all. And he, one last time he, and that's when she got up. I was like, I got to think about it. It was like, those characters are so perfect. Oh man. It was a perfect cast for sure. Like they, they're so good. That show was so well casted. So well casted. Yeah. And what did cousin Greg end up getting? Oh, he was just Tom's bitch for the rest of his life. Yes. Forever. God, that dude's evil. That dude's evil. Yeah, both of them are. Craig's evil too. Yeah. He's creepy. Yeah. And he comes off as like this bumbling kid, but they are, but he, he got sucked into it. The ruthless. Yeah. But he was manipulative from the jump though. His granddad tried to talk him out of it. It was like, just, just be rich and away from these guys. They're not happy. So crazy. None of them are happy. But it's a, it's a thing like gambling addicts. Like I was talking to my friend Sean about gambling addicts the other day. Like growing up in pool halls, you know, not growing up, but you know, being in pool halls when I was younger, there was my first exposure to real gambling addicts. And it is a sickness that's different than anything that I ever thought it was. It is just like crack. Like these guys, they want that fucking, they just gotta be in action. And that's what they, they call it. They call it action. I gotta be in action. They want to be in action. It's all, money is just gambling coupons. Yeah. They love the risk of it. They don't, it's not the winnings or the losing. It's the fucking adrenaline rush. And you're watching the game. Did you see uncut gems? Oh yeah. Uncut gems. Once. It's fucking great. I can't watch it again. It's so anxiety. It's just like, I knew people like that. I knew people like that. I knew people that blew everything, blew everything. I watched people blow tons of money. I've seen it in pool halls, man. It's like, everyone's a junkie. They're all junkies. You got your players who are like, they just, they're addicted to playing and they're also addicted to winning and they're addicted to making scores. But then you got the line people, the people that aren't even, they're not playing. They're fucking betting on the side. Those are the big bets. That's the big money. Sometimes people are playing for $25,000, but there's $500,000 in the room. These are like big money games in the Philippines, big money games and you know, like when they get, some guy will come over from Europe and match up with somebody. They'll have these like three day tournaments where they're playing for $100,000, but there's so much betting on the side. But has anyone ever just, I wonder if they just sit down and do the math and realize like you lose way more than you win. Yeah, but it's the fucking action. You think you win sometimes, you're gonna keep winning. You're gonna win again. I'm gonna get them back. I mean, that was uncut gems. It was always like chasing after that money. That's what they all do, man. It's wild to watch. Cause it was so scary to me. I got, I was nervous about gambling on pool. Like I would only gamble a certain amount. You think it's easy to have a friend with a gambling problem or a drinking problem? Whew. I know a lot of good people that have kicked drinking. I know a lot of really good people that had drinking problems and now they're awesome. Like look at David Tell. He had a drinking problem and he kicked it and became, he was already one of the best comics alive when he was a drinking guy and then quit and got even better. I mean, and he's amazing and he's amazing to be around. He's a beautiful person. Everyone loves David Tell. Yeah, that's true. So it's like, that's a guy that had a drinking problem. I know a bunch of people that have had drinking problems. Drinking problems to me is like, it seems like that's, it's more relatable. You want to escape and it's usually some pain that you're dealing with in your life. Some childhood shit or some failure shit. Some of you are avoiding. Yeah, or it's a genetic thing. Some people, they just have a genetic propensity to alcoholism. It just runs through their whole family. Dude, I just heard a friend of mine told me about a guy the other day where he has a drink, he has a drinking problem, but he also is an alcoholic. I'm sorry, he's an alcoholic, but he's also allergic to alcohol. Oh my God. So he would literally drink himself into the hospital once a week. Oh my God. And I was like, that's, right there, that's bad right there. You gotta recognize that shit is like your arch nemesis. But there's a thing about addictions where it's like, even if you know it's bad for you, you can keep get pulled into it. It's hard to explain it to somebody that's never been addicted to anything, or at least they think they have it, but you know. Dude, I was getting addicted to those nicotine vapes, but not even physically addictive. This is what's crazy. I could put it away and not use it for a week. Like I'd go on vacation, I wouldn't bring one with me, but then when I got one back, I just wanted a sucker. And here's the thing. Somebody's gonna turn that into a beat. I just wanted a sucker, sucker, sucker, sucker. Oh, there's so many horrible things you said. Me and Ari the other day had a conversation about docking. You know when dudes take their foreskin and put it over another dude's dick? And we were arguing over who's winning. It's like, and he's like, I'm sucking your dick. No, no, no, I'm fucking your mouth. It was like, it's stupid, stupid, but I was like, my God. I was getting conversations like that around Ari. Oh, he's a maniac. He's gonna be there tonight. Oh, dope, dope. Yeah, I can't wait to see him. Adrian is here tomorrow. Pelushi? Yeah. Oh, okay, dope, dope. Yeah, I love her. Yeah, she's funny as shit. She's funny as shit, and she's on the rise. She's like a new kind of interesting talent. Yeah. Fascinating person, super fucking smart. She go hard too. She goes hard. She goes hard on stage. But I never met her personally. She gonna be there tonight? Yeah, sweetheart. My fan, Adrian. I know she's here tonight. She'll be here tomorrow. She might come in tonight. But yeah, I got to meet her during the moon dower. She came by. Damn, the mothership is so dope. How about Bottom of the Barrel? See, I didn't talk about Bottom of the Barrel at the beginning of the show. Yeah. It's so much fucking fun. I look forward to it so much. I was bummed out that I didn't get on stage the second one. But you never know, man. You never know. I've had two premises that I've gotten out of Bottom of the Barrel that became actual bits. Yeah, every night. And it's a different show every night. It's so fun. It's so silly. Yeah, and the crowds, now we're starting to get to the point where regular people are coming back and back and back. Yeah, they come back. It's always different. It's always different. It's always different. And some of the suggestions are hilarious. Yeah, I give out prizes if I get a good one. That's salt. The Fly gun. It's a gun called Bug Assault. They sponsor our show. And they give us. And the thing is, this is one of those places where they didn't offer to sponsor. I got one. And I was like, everyone should have one of these. I would be their spokesperson if they paid me. Because I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I have a real, my relationship with Fly's, when I was deployed, my first deployment to Iraq, it was when we didn't have shit going on. We just came over the border. And we just camped in this town called Anumanaya. And this had the most fertile soil I've ever seen. It just looked nutrient, really. I could be wrong. But we would dig holes to shit in every day. We didn't have any porta-potties, no infra, you know. And somebody, whoever got in trouble would have to bury the holes. But anyway, these were the biggest, most numerous flies that I've ever seen in my life. I learned it like they hibernate. Did you know that? That's probably not the scientific term. But they sleep at night. And to the point where I would wake up, the tarp we had or other thing, it would be completely covered in flies. Like millions of flies. And you could scrape them off. They wouldn't move, they wouldn't wake up. And we did it every morning. We killed them all. And every morning it was full again. It was that many flies. Imagine if you didn't kill them. And there were so many flies and they were starving. Any chance of moisture. So we would eat these MREs, you know? You have that MRE? So you know how everybody eats it out of the bag it comes in, right? And so when you open that bag, you had about three seconds to get the food in your mouth. Cause it's like they would sense the moisture. And even if you got the bad clothes in time, they would pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Cause all of you, just anything. If you cried, they were on your tears. They were just starving. Oh my God. That's why I don't eat outside. If it's more, like if it's too many women in the group, they always want to eat outside. And I was good. I'm good. I'm not going to come. Cause I already know the cutest girl is going to go, we should get outside. And I'm going to be pissed the whole time. The first time a fly lands on my food. I hate this bitch. You wanted to do this, right? And so when I discovered a gun that could kill these motherfuckers, yeah. You know my wife took mine away. Really? She's like the whole fucking house is going to be covered with salt. You're going to leave the door open just so you can kill more flies. It's all, did you get the, I gave you the pistol or the rifle? You gave me a rifle. Oh Joe. No, no, no. We got to upgrade you tonight. The pistol difference. I told you, she took the rifle. Yeah. So the rifle, the rifle's cool. The rifle comes with an infrared sight, right? And that's, it's pretty cool. It's accurate within I think four feet, but it, but you pump it, right? And that's cool. That'll knock a fly out of the sky. But the pistol is called the shredder. Now the shredder, okay. It comes with a CO2 cartridge. Oh. So, and it's a revolver. So it literally has a little revolver things. You rub it in salt, load it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bugger, salt, shredder. You can get a little holster for it. Ooh. And bro, when I tell you, because now that thing, it'll rip a fly to pieces. Oh. You hit a fly with that motherfucker and it's dead. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, man. I need one of these. Yeah. No, I got you. I get fucked up by mosquitoes in my yard. Because you know, I'm out there doing archery. Okay. And I'll do it during the day with shorts on, cause it's 95 fucking degrees out there. And I'm out there for two hours. And I come inside and my ankles are just brutalized. Yeah, what they call them, no seams. This one made for cockroaches. Oh my God. Holy shit. This is for big, big bugs. Bro, it just blows them away. Bam. Let me see. Boom. It'll be shooting salt into your fucking food. It fits popcorn. This is just such a setup. Oh, that guy got fucked up. Yeah, bro. Boom, son. I mean, what did they do for this commercial? How did they even? They let those roaches on that stuff. They had probably had them in a bucket. They just dumped them on the table. I'm telling you, it's so satisfying. America, man, I'm giving these guys free game right now. But I'm telling you, there's no more satisfying feeling than shooting one of the motherfuckers out the sky or shooting it off or something. Every time, cause you know, if you live in Texas, every time you open your door, something flies in your house. This is part of living out here. Every single day, something flying is in my house. And every single day I kill that motherfucker. It feels so good. I have two of those. I have one upstairs and one downstairs. So no matter where I am, I don't gotta leave the floor. I go right away and I talk shit the whole time. I'm like, oh, you think shit's sweet up in here? No, no, no. Anyway. We got a fire ant problem too. Oh, yeah. Those little motherfuckers, woo. It's very impressive. The mounds that they make, those guys go ham. Yeah, Texas is wild with the bugs. I feel like every kind of bug in the world is here. Bugs, snakes. I got a booklet that they sell at the supermarket of the snakes from Central Texas, like what's dangerous and what's not. That's here in Austin? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, my friend called me. She goes, what is this? And she sent me photos or videos of two big ass coral snakes in her garage. And I'm like, those are real bad. Like get the fucking things out of there. That'll kill you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a coral snake can kill you. Yeah. They usually aren't trying to fuck with you though. No, no, they don't. The problem is sometimes you don't know they're there. Right. And so you're stepping and you step too close to them and they bite you. And yes, it's a rat. Especially if you're not looking. You know, you just wander through the woods. God, it's so beautiful out here. Especially if you don't know what bit you. That's a whole other thing. Oh, yeah. And you don't get to the hospital? Yeah, you got to get to the hospital with the thing that kills you. You got to know what it was. Right. You know? The hospitals out here probably carry anti-venom. My dogs got bit a ton of times by rattlesnakes. Really? Yeah, my pit bulls. Back when I used to have pit bulls. Oh, yeah. Anything in that yard was dead. You know, I saw a video the other day. This might not be true. Who knows what you learn with the internet. But cats are like quicker. Oh, yeah. They're way quicker. Their reflexes are way harder. This is a great video of a snake trying to bite a kitten. Like a young cat. And the cats like, whap. Shut the fuck up. The cat will hit you two times. Bop, bop. Favorite. Listen. You know, like, after you do comedy for so long, it's the real silly shit that makes you, gets at you. It's not like the intricate shit. It's like the silly shit that makes me laugh. Tony Baker doing voiceovers of cat videos. Have you, you know Tony Baker? The comedian? Yeah. Yeah. He's one of the funniest motherfuckers alive. And he does these voiceovers of animal videos. And when he, when it's a cat thing, so he has all, he has all these different phrases, but when a cat hits somebody, he calls it a skibbity pat. And he'll, he'll, you gotta find one of these. Like it's one of the, he, he. Ah, help me brother. That's not, is this Tony Baker? Ooh. Don't live the king. Your father. Bro, cats fighting on roofs is crazy. They die sometimes. Those motherfuckers can fall really far. I mean, my cat, my cat goes outside. I worry about her all the time, but, but she's a, she's a savvy one, man. You've always let your cat go out. Yeah. When I got her, she was like an outdoor cat. Oh. Yeah. They don't take kindly to being stuck indoors, those outdoor cats. No. I'll start pissing. Right here right now, I don't like what's happening right here. I don't like how your old in my arm and licking my chest. I don't like what's going on right here. I'll rip your paw pads loose and put them in the nice little bra so that that simmer, when I see your cat's fur, it has better than your goddamn catnip, you understand me. But hey, dude, he's just old, you know what I'm saying? Whatever you're into. It's so funny. They see a Labrador growling. Like, bitch, you're so faking it. Oh, yeah. They're the nicest dogs in the world. And most of those families that have cats and dogs, the cat is ruling a loose. Yeah, they smack the dog right in the fucking face. Did you ever see the video of the girl talking about her pronouns and the cat turns and smacks her in the face? No. It's hilarious. So there's a girl like holding her cat and she's being serious about her pronouns. And this cat turns around and goes, shut the fuck up. And she's like, oh. Hi, my name is Erin. I use she, her pronouns and I am a... Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And you know what, dude? It was probably her fault. My cat only acts up. This is fucking hilarious. That cat was like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. No warning. Just shut the fuck up. Yeah, you should have fed him. My cat only acts up when I'm wrong. She's never wrong. You know, something's always wrong. If she's acting up, it's either something's wrong health wise or I'm late feeding her or her litter box is dirt. Like something, there's always something I didn't do. She never just starts acting a certain way. So that, she probably was fucking something up. Well, she's annoying. Yeah, it's like that... Well, she and her pronouns, they're just annoying. Watch the water bowl, bitch. If you're annoying about that, you're probably annoying about other stuff. The cat was like, she... Her culture. The smell was so bad. He rolled down the window, like, what the fuck? These people live with that every day, but they don't notice it after a while. Right, right. So like, that's the thing with people's houses. When you go over there and they have a box of piss, and they're like, hey, you gotta get rid of this. Like you have a box of piss in your house. The technology is so high now. Yeah. Yeah, my cat... And they have those things that... Yeah, they got the automatic joints. It's like, it don't make sense. It's a little draw, change it. Yeah, but then if you got an outdoor cat, like, you know, she shits outside somewhere. I have no idea where she shits. I have no idea where she shits at. And I don't clean it up. I think they bury it a little. Do your roommates take care of her when you go to town? No. No? I mean, they... I'm sure they watch out for her, but not anymore. The only time... They leave food out for her? No, I'll have Sam. You know Sam, Derek's fiance, Sam? Yeah. She runs the bottom of the barrel with me. She... I would rather her do it. You know, men don't. Yeah. Exactly. Because they'll take care of her, but they won't do what I would do. She'd do what I would do. So it's like, if I'm... But only if I'm going for more than a few days. You know, if I'm doing like four days somewhere, then I'll just have her go check on her a little bit. If you have a cat and you come back home after a couple days, the cat's like, oh look, you're back. No, no, this bitch don't like it. She gets mad at you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's always upset, yeah. Really? Like, what does she do? Is she mallet you? She got like abandonment issues. So she always... Whenever I leave for more than a day, she thinks I'm gonna leave her. Oh yeah. Stray dogs that were like that. Yeah, sounds... They get so sad. But man, the bitch fine, she got two fountains. She got a dad on. She just doesn't know. Yeah, she doesn't need a lot. Her food, the bowl is automatic. The water fountains are automatic. She got two of those. The litter box is automatic. That food can't be good, that dry ass bullshit food. No, no, I mean, I feed her wet food when I'm home. Right. But like I said, I couldn't trust anybody else to do it. I wonder if cats get mercury poisoning from like eating tuna and shit like that. I think they... Is that an issue with cats? I think the kidneys are all pretty fucking strong. Yeah, but I mean, mercury is, it's a heavy metal poison. I don't think it's good for any animal. And they're not giving them sushi grade fish. Well, a lot of those, that's true, but a lot of those tuna, they're riddled with it because the big fish are the ones that are eating the most little fish. And a lot of little fish are the ones that have the heavy metal poison. They can get it. Oh, they can, look at this. Animals do not show signs until several weeks after being poisoned by organic mercury. Signs can include blindness, excitement, abnormal behavior and chewing, lack of coordination and convulsions. Oh Jesus. Oh, convulsions. Cats show hind leg rigidity, lack of coordination and tremors. Neurologic signs may be irreversible. Oh no. So it's not common to cats, but it may be the first thing a veterinarian suspects. So it's possible that mercury poisoning happens, but is not diagnosed. It may not be the first thing a veterinarian suspects. Oh wow. I had a dog once, a puppy that I got. And it had distemper. And you can't fix that. What is distemper? Distemper is horrible. I think it's, is it parvo or distemper? Are they the same thing? It's a horrible virus that puppies get. And he would just go into these terrible convulsions, like these seizures. It was so sad. Wow. The cutest little guy. And there's nothing they can do about it. There's nothing they can do about it at the time, at least. It was 20 plus years ago. Watching something cute that was difficult. Oh, it was so horrible. He was so adorable. He was such a little sweetie. It's not the same thing. So distemper and parvo are not the same disease, but both are highly contagious viral diseases that could cause serious symptoms and even death, especially for unvaccinated puppies and adult dogs. Yeah. Distemper, hepatitis, peri-influence. I got him from the pound and he was a rescue puppy. And sometimes they're around, who knows where they are before the pound gets them. And he was already infected. So sad. He was such a cute little guy. Why'd you take him home if he was already going to bed? I didn't know. I didn't know until after I had him. He started showing symptoms a while after we got him. He was real young too. It was awful. Oh, that's tough. He was so cute. I haven't lost my pet yet. I've had animals down me, but they were never mine. I don't know what I'd do if something happened. Saw a dead deer on the side of the highway, I got sad. This is a deer out here dropping their fawns. So you got these cute little baby deer that are running around. And when we were walking the other day and the mother deer ran away and left the fawn and the fawn just lies down on the ground because they're so small they can't run yet. And so the mother tries to distract you by running away so that you chase her. And hopefully the fawn kind of blends into the grass. Oh. Yeah, they don't have any defense mechanisms. They're too small. So for the first, I don't know how many days, they really can't run away. Now they can kind of run away. Like now I see the same little baby deer and now they're running around. But it's like they're so vulnerable. That's a bad plan from other deers. Well, it's a plan that ensures that there's gonna be less deer because you can't have too many deer. It can't be perfect when they come out running full split. You would never, you know, coyotes would never get them. Well, that's more planning than those submarine people. Ooh. That shit pisses me off the more I think about it. It scares the shit out of me. It just seems like a horrific way to die. How you don't have a plan? See, you know what's so strange about the whole situation to me, I was telling Jamie earlier, is that they have what? They had, they started out with like four days worth of air. Jamie? Yeah. So someone thought if something goes wrong, they gonna need extra oxygen. Yeah. Right? Because it's only if the trip was less than a day but they have four days worth of air. So someone was thinking about what they might need in an emergency and they stopped right there. They gave them extra air and then no other way to get out of a bad situation. Like they can't control it from inside of it. There's no emergency surface button. There's no transponder. They don't control it from inside of it? No, it's controlled from the ship. Oh Jesus. Oh my God. The ship gotta be right, but directly above it. Oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no. And if that doesn't happen, if somehow they lose contact with the ship, the ship is not directly above it. That's it. There's no plan B. What? There. So is it like, is there a tide that moved them away from under the ship? Like what the fuck? I have no idea. Maybe somebody crashed. Maybe, you know, maybe that window failed at a certain depth. That's what I think happened. I think the thing failed. I think they're dead. I think it imploded on them. Why do you think that? Because it seems like. What do you think the banging is? I think the banging is just, it's banging up against something or maybe the banging is something else. Maybe it's the ship shaking. You know, they've never measured the sounds around that area. It's not like they can say that that banging is outside the norm. Oh really? Yeah, I mean the Titanic's down there. It's probably still creaking and swinging and who knows what that banging is. But I could be, and I could be wrong. That could be them banging. Seems like a waste of energy. Nobody's gonna hear you. But if someone is hearing them. Oh, like they're thinking, oh, the sonar will hear them. Well, I guess that's what it's for. Yeah, I think they've heard it through a plane. Is that true? Yeah, so there's a plane that detected the banging. But it's still unconfirmed from what I was just reading. Someone's claiming they heard that. Yeah, but at this point, we know there's no hope of saving them. Even if they're alive right now. How do they get them out? Even if they, look. Does he have another one of those things? Even if they were on the surface right now. Like they had risen to the surface somehow. There is an emergency. They still can't breathe. They can't open it. No one can open it from the inside. So they can't, they have to find them to save them. And even if they found them right now, they gotta bring them to the surface slowly. You know, they can't bring them up too fast. So who even fucking knows, man? I think it's, I think it's a matter of time. How long does it take to get them to the surface? You know, I don't know. But it's longer than you'd be comfortable with. So I think it's not about how much air they have left. It's about do they have enough hours of air left that it would take them to raise them to the surface and open that hatch. How do they even plant, see if there's like some sort of a detailed strategy or retrieval. Oh, I'm looking. How could they possibly get it out? What I've found so far is that during, they spoke with somebody else, one of the writers for the Simpsons or creators for the Simpsons or something took this tour last year and they had problems on their trip. Three times on the art says, communication was lost during all three of his dives, including that to the Titanic. It's like when they were trying to do it for TV, they couldn't even find the Titanic or something. The boat has to be near the sub so communication can happen. And if they are not near each other, communication is just gone. What the fuck, man? GPS doesn't work underwater, nor does radio. Oh my God. And they don't have a line attached to it? Yeah, that's like some, no. In theory, which is probably not correct, it could have resurfaced at some point and it's just floating somewhere and they can't get out. What? They said there's seven different, not backups, but there are seven different possibilities for it to resurface and they're like, well, if none of those happened, the other possibilities are that there was a leak, in which case there's no backup vessel, you're kind of fucked. Oh my God. Yeah, any kind of leak, any kind of opening at that depth is gonna kill everybody. It's so scary. Yeah. That's such a scary, because it's so slow. Like getting down there so slow and knowing that all that water is above you, miles. Yeah, just a column of water sitting on top of you. Oh. Two miles down, basically. Oh Jesus. Oh. And then imagine you sitting there and thinking about the one motherfucker that was trying to tell you that window wasn't good. Yeah. Right, the guy who's sweating it, the CEO who has the information. Yeah. Because we gotta kill somebody to save air, we killing him first. I'm talking to Groot into it. Hey man, you know what, you had a good run? Boy, everybody involved in that company is fucked. Somebody gonna pay for that. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, one of the guys was a billionaire. Well, it depends on which political party makes it their issue. If the Republicans make it their issue, somebody gonna pay for that. What is happening with that Sam Bankman freed guy? I heard they dropped five of his charges. Mm. Which is wild. I wonder how that happens. Which is wild. They just quietly did that while they're telling us about aliens. Yeah, man. This is the end of the death of truth. This is the age where you can't tell what's true, you can't to who's who. Yeah. Who's being bribed, who's not, who has an agenda. Right. So now people are going based off, it's like what you're likely to believe is whatever you want to be true. Did you see that James O'Keefe left Project Veritas? He was the guy that does all those gacha videos, investigative reporter videos. No, I don't know. Undercover videos. He got a lot of them. Like I don't know what led him to leave Project Veritas, but he started his own group. And his own group yesterday, he got some guy from this corporation talking about how easy it is to bribe politicians. So he's on a date. Oh yeah, you sent me this Instagram thing. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's wild. It's wild, cause he's like, you know, you can get a Senator for like 10 grand. Like he was- Does he know he's being recorded? It doesn't look like he does. He's on a date. At some point he says that he's like, you might be an undercover reporter, but then he still keeps telling girls. Yeah, cause he's trying to be funny. He's, find that. I think he's trying to impress a girl, but that's what it always is. Like a lot of them are these chatty gay guys and they get some cute gay guy to go on dates with him. Yeah, but there's one part of the video where he's like at a job fair or something. He's just talking. Yeah, so this is it. Play it. Oh, I mean, oh, okay. I don't know, but I suspect it's probably because it's easier to do things when people aren't thinking about it. All of these financial institutions, they buy politicians. You can take this big, ton of money and then you can start to buy people. I work for people at BlackRock. Meet Serge Varlain, a recruiter at BlackRock. Let me tell you, it's not the request of the president. Oh. It's controlling the Walmart. The music is resilient. Yeah, it says, let me tell you, it's not the president, it's who's controlling the wallet of the president and who's that? The hedge funds, BlackRock, the banks, these guys run the world. Also, what a fucking- Campaign financing, yup, you could buy your candidates. Look at this. Obviously we have the system in place. First there's the Senate. These guys, you got 10 grand, you can buy a senator. You got 10 grand, you can buy a senator. 500 grand. Yeah. I did what you did, so we're done. Does everybody do that? Does BlackRock do that? Everyone does what he's saying. Doesn't matter who wins, they're in my pocket at this point. Here's Serge Varlain. Wow. What a loser. Well, these people always, it's always single people on dates. But who talks like this on a first date? Guys do if they want to impress a girl. The guys do if they want to let a girl know like, hey, they're a fucking big mover shaker in this corporation and this is how we do it, we run the world. We run the world. Oh my God, I want you to- Government secrets don't impress women, do they? Well, that's not really government secrets, it's corporate secrets. I guess you're right. It's them using their influence and money to affect the political system. But it's power. And when a guy can talk about how much power he has to a girl on a date, it's probably very intoxicating. Let her know, I'm running shit baby. You're like, hey girl, I have several moral failings, but I'm successful. What's that? I googled his name. Yep. And when you clicked this, they removed it. They removed it. Yeah, of course they removed it. I also don't know when I got added. Yeah, but of course they removed it. They always do that whenever someone gets busted. He definitely don't work for BlackRock no more. Oh, he's in trouble. Yeah, he's probably dead. Yeah, he's probably at the Clinton's ranch. Swinging from a tree, the shotgun wound in his asshole. He killed himself by shooting himself in the asshole. Yeah, it's not good for him. But they'll just disavow him and none of the major media networks will cover that. That's where it gets interesting. Is when something like this happens, whether it's a pharmaceutical company, he's done that with a lot of those people, like Pfizer, he got this guy talking about engineering viruses, and it never makes the news. I'm gonna try to go on my next date. Hey girl, I've robbed several public officials. Let's go back to my place. Yeah, I think it's, you know, she's also asking the right questions, like saying that she's curious. So he gets to show how much he knows, you know. Imagine you having a good date and this girl just destroys you. Just destroys you, puts you on a hit list somewhere. She probably didn't even fuck him. No, she didn't fuck him. I know. That's like, that's the whole thing. She got free dinner. She's trying to win. Free dinner, a hot scoop, and then destroy your ass. Get a couple of cocktails in someone like that, you know. And they don't think about what they're saying. Next thing you know, you're giving up some serious global details. But then that, won't that always be, I mean, that pretty much gives BlackRock a way out. It's like, oh, he was just trying to get laid. He don't know what he thought. For sure, yeah. Oh yeah, he could totally be full of shit. I mean, that's literally what one of the guys said, that they busted. He goes, I'm an actual liar. He goes, I'm on a date. I'm trying to impress my date, I'm lying. The guy said that, like on the spot. And maybe he was telling the truth. I mean, you know, people definitely lie on dates and pretend they know more than they know. Is she recording him being like, yeah, I have a 12 inch dick. People wouldn't be like, well, that must be true. He said it on tape. True, right? Yeah, but it seems like what he was saying is based on personal experience. But that shit's, I mean, but we already knew that was true. Yeah. He said he was a recruiter, so he's never done any of that stuff. Right. He picks the people that do it. Also, if it only costs $10,000 to buy a senator, I feel like we should own them all. You could own them all. Yeah, at least for one election cycle. Yeah, I wonder how that works. Political donations, that's what Trump always said. He donated to people to make things happen. He donated to people for this, went to their weddings. Yeah, he donates to their charity, where they also happen to be an employee. Didn't he say he paid Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton to be at his wedding? Oh, that's funny. I think it was either his wedding or one of his kids' weddings. I think you can pay people and they'll do an appearance. Isn't that wild? That sounds like torture. How wild is that though? Give me $250,000, I'll show up at your wedding. Just to be there, that might be worth the trip. I think they're doing that all the time, so it adds up. You know, Donald Trump, he probably didn't have their meals covered. He's like, well, I'll pay you the company, you do read the contract. It's not an open bar. Right. The bar, cash money, it's expensive. What was the story with that? Is that legit? Did he say that? He said that. What'd he say? I was trying to find the video of it, but it's not coming up, but their quote is written here. This is if you're to believe him. I'll tell you what, with Hillary Clinton, I said, be at my wedding, and she came to my wedding. Trump applied. You know why? She had no choice, because I gave. He added that he gave money to the Clinton Global Foundation without understanding how his funds would be used. I didn't know the money would be used on private jets going all over the world. He said it was. Clinton had a front row seat at Donald Trump's wedding, his third wedding in 2005. The Clinton team didn't immediately respond to request for comment on whether the Clintons only attended Trump's wedding because he contributed to her Senate campaign. Well, they're all in cahoots. Just give them some money. Give some money. Yeah, they'll do anything. And then they use it on private jets. Don't do anything for money. Isn't that crazy, though? They could just use it on private jets. They just got a private jet slush fund. Oh, yeah. I'm not surprised at all. That's why I don't feel bad for people. Once you hit a certain amount of money, the system is set up for you to never go broke again. Oh, yeah. If you use it correctly, and they use it to the most. Yeah. Yeah, they make the loopholes. So they use every single loophole to benefit them to make sure they will never go broke and their kids will never go broke. Especially bankers. I mean, when banks fail, the government bails them out. Yeah, yeah, the whole, it's set up so, it's what they call it, private risk, public, no, public risk, private benefit or whatever the fuck. Kodak Black's lawyer slams Hunter Biden. Kodak Black's lawyer slams Hunter Biden, plea deal after rapper sentenced to three plus years for the same crime. Attorney for rapper questioned different outcomes for his client. Didn't Kodak Black on a lot of drugs? Yeah, also, but Lil Wayne, I think, had a similar charge and had worse penalties. Did he, was it hidden with drugs, too? I don't know exactly each case. I know it's a case by case basis, but, well, there are a lot of people that are mad about Hunter's situation. But to be fair, though, Kodak, this is not Kodak Black's first conviction. Oh, what has he done? I don't know, but I think he just got out of prison. Oh, well, this might've been because of that. I think that's why he said, yeah, like his lawyer said two tiers of justice. He was charged for the same crime and did three years. Hunter Biden will not serve a day. Okay, all right, okay. Yeah. But also don't know if, I don't mean, I haven't looked back at Hunter Biden. Did he never get arrested for any of his problems when he said he was pardoned by Trump in 2021? Hunter Biden? No. Kodak Black. Oh, he was, he was pardoned by Trump. For that, for that same charge? Yeah. Isn't that wild, the pardon thing? That's wild. So you could just say, yeah, let him out. It's wild who doesn't get one. Right. Yeah, yeah. Like Julian Assange. Right, Julian Assange. Edward Snowden. Joe Exotic. Joe Exotic. Yeah, free Joe Exotic. Who's other manning, Bradley Manning? Who's kind of connected to Julian Assange. But also he- That's Chelsea Manning now. Right, Chelsea Manning transitioned while in government custody for treason. Yeah. How does that happen? No one ever talks about that. Or did it happen after? Cause I thought when she initially got arrested, it was Bradley Manning. And while she was still in custody, it changed to Chelsea Manning. I think so. And I was like, cause I'm like, cause it seems like you're getting mistreated, but also like if you can transition, they're treating you pretty nice. You know what I mean? Yes. Like in prison. Right. So I'm just always confused. I wonder what the transition consists of. I mean, someone can transition by just identifying as a woman now. You just start dressing like a woman and saying, you don't even, you can still keep your dick, still keep your hormones. I think most of them start taking hormones. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what the percentage is. Cause you can like, I think, cause women, I think you listen, it transitioned into from a woman to a man would probably be easier, but I think women can tell you're not one of them. You gotta take estrogen, if you transition into a woman. Cause you gotta think like them. They can pick up on the vibe. I don't think you're not taking your estrogen. Booooow! Booooow! Booooow! Booooow! Like what is this logic? Do you know what autogonophilia is? Autogonophilia. Autogonophilia. Autogonophilia, okay. I'm gonna guess auto means, happening without like unconsciously. Gynah is vaginas, right? Gynacologist I'm guessing. Felia means love, oh so it means somebody that automatically loves pussy? I'll put somebody. No, autogynophilia is men have a sexual fetish where they're attracted to women, but they wanna dress up like a woman. Oh. They wanna dress up like a woman and fuck women. Autogynophilia is defined as a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female. It's a paraphernalia, or paraphilia rather, that is theorized to underline transvestism and some forms of male to female transsexualism. So you used to be able to say this. That was like a normal statement, now that is transphobic, which is really wild because it's been in the psychological literature forever. It's a condition. It's like Rocky Horror Picture Show shit. But it's a kink. I got a homie like that. He transitioned to a woman, but he fucks women. He loves, he still loves women. Yeah, that's autogynophilia. He loves women so much that he also wants to be a woman. He just gets turned on by the idea of him being a woman. I don't know, it's just like, what is that? I had, my first girlfriend was like that. She loved to masturbate in the mirror. Oh Jesus, that's weird. That's crazy. I don't wanna see nothing of myself. Just looking at yourself, making a face and making yourself mad. Imagine thinking you're so hot that you make you cum. Oh boy. That's crazy. He's like, man, if I was a bitch, I'd do this better than these hoes. It's like, nah. Who knows what's going on with that? Eh, you know. Who you were telling me about, you were telling me about a woman that transitioned to a man, started taking testosterone, and then came up to you? Oh, it was like, actually that happened twice. I had two female friends that transitioned to males. Oh, it's him fucking in the mirror. With all himself? American Psycho? That was a great movie, dude. Awesome. The book is even more fucked up. But every woman, every trans man, I know every woman that transitioned to a man that I know personally, when they started taking testosterone, at some point, they walked up to me and was like, I get it, I get it a little bit. I get it now. Yeah, testosterone's a hell of a fucking thing to just start taking the high dose of, because you realize, oh, I want to fuck it. It's this aggression that gets introduced to. Yeah, and it hits every man at the worst possible time. When your body's just getting coordinated, you don't know shit about life, and this is a drug that makes you want to fucking kill and dominate and win, and it's just the highest dose you're ever gonna receive. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you took 15 years for it to fucking wear off. That's why they want people to join the Navy and the Army and the Marines when they're 17, 18 years old. Yeah, when they can whip you into a fervor with just a little speech. Yeah, you fired up, you're ready to kill. Yeah, you want to live forever? Yeah! Yeah, see, now I'll be like, yeah, I do. Yeah, I'm gonna stay. I would've got on that sub when I was 19. Of course. But now I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with y'all? What's wrong with you? Yeah, I probably did it. If I was young and stupid and I didn't understand consequences, but I probably would've been regretting it halfway down. Not understanding consequences. That's the most horrific of consequences and the whole world's watching too. Yeah. Oh my God, that scares me. And the thing is, because they're all rich, it's a joke. It's not like, no, like, I'm sure some people have empathy, but right away Twitter's like, Yep, they went right in. The memes are coming. Oh yeah. People are, people, if you search right now on Twitter for the knocking sound, it's just beats. It's like just real, just hip hop song. People are like, I heard it, it was listening to this, it was just Young Jeezy. Or it's like the New Killer Mike album. I can't believe they got it down there. It came out the same day. What's that? I heard a couple farts. It's like listening to a knock and then just someone ripping ass. The New Killer Mike album's a fucking amazing album. It's very good. Yeah, yeah. It's very good. David Lucas played it in the green room last night. Yeah, it's very good. This is Mike in his bag right here. Yeah, he's in his own right now. I tried to talk him into doing a podcast. I hope he listens. Oh man. He ended up on an amazing podcast. That'd be incredible. He'd have the best podcast out there. He's so, when he gets to give public speeches about things, he's so good at that, man. Yeah, he's very articulate. But he's also empathetic and kind, like wise. He's very wise. Because he practices something that I learned from doing comedy for real and it's that people will say, like if you ask somebody, is it okay to talk about this? Or whatever, people will say yes or no or whatever. But the way they respond to a joke, you breaking the shit down to where it's obvious that you've put a lot of thought into it is enough for most people to not have a negative reaction. Even if it's a controversial subject. So when he goes and gives speeches about controversial issues or he talks to a group of people that all disagree with him, it's like, he's so thoughtful that you can't not like him anyway. Even if he's saying something that you totally don't agree with. Right. Yeah. Yeah, he understands how his words are being interpreted by the people that he's talking to. He's very smooth and careful with how he does it. Yeah, meticulous too. Now he'd be an awesome podcast. He's a great guest. He's always got great opinions about things. That's all you need. And there's always room for more people like that. I'm always trying to encourage interesting people to start podcasts. It's such a great way to get stuff out there. And for me, I want to hear how different people think. I'm always wondering, why do I think like this? What's the genesis of it? You know what I love about doing my podcast? It's not hugely popular yet, but it lets me get all my thoughts out without the obligation to be funny. Because sometimes you've got to get through all of the unfunny to find the funny. And you don't always have time to do that on stage. You know what I mean? So it's nice to just, it's like finding the gold nugget, but it's all covered in shit. You got to chip off and wash off. Sometimes the nuggets buried so deep that I don't have time to do it on stage. Yeah, normally I would just be sitting there thinking those thoughts or saying them to myself. Right, but when you're saying them out loud like that too, you're hashing them out and you're working it out in real time. Yeah, yeah. Tim's the best at that shit. Tim Dillon is so funny off the cuff on those rants. This motherfucker get started on a rant. Oh my god, his rants are fucking incredible. His dystopian. He's the best at ranting. Yeah, he's the best. He's the best at it. And it translates to his stand up. His stand up got way better after he started doing his podcast. And it's a premise factory. Yeah, so another person has been in the mother shit. Most of the people have come now. Oh yeah, everybody's right there. Man, it's so awesome. Tim talks a lot of shit, but he bought a second house here. He can shut the fuck up. He bought a house out here. I try to explain to people what, like what, you know, because I would never tell somebody, hey, this is better than New York or better than that. Because that's a stupid argument to have. But you should, I feel like you should go wherever you're going to benefit the most. Wherever you have the most connections, wherever you're going to get the most stage time. Yeah. And you get a lot of stage time out here. Like, what was his name, Cam Patterson? Moved out here from fucking Florida. I saw, listen, I saw this dude on the internet. He had put a joke on Instagram. And it came up my feet. And I liked it and followed him. Followed me back. A month and a half later, mothership opens. I'm standing outside smoking on the second day. And he goes walking by me on the street. He's like, hey, don't I know you? He was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, did you move here? He was like, yeah. And I was like, hey, come in on Monday to the open mic. He comes in, Adam loves him. He does bottom of the barrel the next day. Adam's like, holy shit, Tony sees him. Tony's like, I love this motherfucker. He's going to kill Tony, kill that shit. And it's like. And he went on the Kill Tony anniversary show. Yeah, he was on the anniversary show. And he's a door guy now. Yeah. And it's like, his whole life just changed up. You know what I'm saying? Well, I love the door guy program. Oh, yeah. And it's basically an advanced version of what we had at the store. But genuinely dedicated to development of new talent. The door guys get so much stage time. But we were talking about that before we ever did this. When we were planning this out, we were hanging out in the Vulcan. We all were in agreement. You've got to have two nights of open mic nights. Oh, yeah. You've got to have a lot of open mic. Minimum. Minimum. That's how the store had it back in the day. That's really the best way to do it. And you can always have, like last time we did open mic night, Bill Burr is in town. He went up. A bunch of people go up. It'll be pros after the amateurs. Well, I think a lot of clubs don't do it. Because open mic doesn't. It's not a money making night. You know? And so a lot of clubs, they see it as an afterthought. But it's like. It's stupid. You have to nurture the scene. It's an advanced. You're doing it for the greater good of the art form. The more people that do it, the better the people will be. The better the people that are around you, the better you'll be. It's good for everybody. And if you're a comedy fan and you go in one day and you see some kid who's been doing comedy for two years. And it's kind of funny. And then you come back six years later and they're fucking headlining. Be a beast. And you're like, wow. This is wild. This is wild. It's beautiful to see, man. It's exciting. It's an exciting time for stand up. It's my favorite place. And what we're doing out here is the best that we can do right here. It doesn't mean that it's better than anywhere else. They're all great if you do it the right way. You've got to do it the right way. Yeah, it's just another place where you can do it. It's not like you don't have to. I don't think you have to like there's a winner. That's dumb. But it does help that there's so many good comics here. There's a lot of good comics here. There's a lot of stage time here. And there's decent money to be made here, even if you're not a famous comic. Because all the spots pay pretty well. Yeah. You know? And that's the good thing that we did out here. Jacked that up. Yeah, all that free shit. If your show don't pay, it's not going to last here. Yeah. No. Because my attitude's always been the same. It's not like I'm above doing a free show. But if I find out you're making money and you're not paying the comics, then I'm not fucking with you. Exactly. Well, they used to have those shows in LA where the one person putting on the show was making all the money. They were making thousands of dollars. And they'd give like $50 to this person. They'd give a couple hundred bucks out, out of thousands and thousands of dollars for a sold out show. But that person wasn't even the good comic. People were coming to see all the other people. And the other people were just doing the show because it was convenient. They were in town, yeah, I want to do a set. And they just wanted to do a set just to work out. And they think of the store as a place to just work out. And you realize, oh, somebody's like massively profiting. It's making like 85% of the money. Yeah. It's kind of fucked up. But that doesn't have to be the case. The way we're doing it is way better. Where the comics feel appreciated. The reason why people are going there is for the comics. So they make the money. That's how it's supposed to be. And it's also good for everybody else. It's good. It's good for the club. The club's got to understand, like, what are you selling? This is the argument that I had with the store when I got banned. I was like, you have a box with a microphone in it. If we don't go, you have nothing. You're not selling the Comedy Store. This Comedy Store is a great venue that has a lot of amazing history. But it's filled with us. We're the comedians. So if a shithead like you is making decisions and supporting a fucking joke thief over the rest of the community, you know what the fuck is going on. All you have is a box. The institution, I mean, most of the institutions in comedy work that way, where the institution gets most of the money. Yeah. But it's like, the problem is they get you when you're not a draw. So then they can say, oh, well, they're not here because of you. So you get used to getting underpaid and not asking more about the money and how you're compensated. And before you know it, you just have, when it's all said and done, you have all these memories. And it's the prestige. Well, the thing about the store was it was a great place to work on your act. And then you'd make money going to other places. So that's how I was approached it. I was approached as it's home base. I'm glad they make money because I want to support it. And it's the best club that's ever existed. I don't think they should make nothing. Yeah. They should just, when you would find out how much money was on one of those bringer shows, those showcase shows, you feel violated. You feel like, you fucked me. You know that that's not fair. You give them someone $50 and you're making $6,000. That's crazy. That's crazy. But that's what happens when people are allowed to do shit like that. And generally, the people that are doing it aren't artists. It's just like a business person that's figured out this little loophole that the artists who are just not good planning for shit, they're kind of scatterbrained and impulsive. That's every kind of artist at every level. Yeah. Yeah. So the concept behind this is just to let's just put all the power in the hands of the artists and just do it right, do it ethically, and create a real sense of community. There's people that don't like that. Who? I think people that benefit from artists being. You mean people that don't own other clubs. Yeah, people that don't benefit from artists being empowered. It's not even a power thing. You need them too. I'm happy that they make money. I want everybody to make money. But the thing is, they always held it over us. But you know what it is? Making money gives you the ability to say no to other money. Because what I find is people in show business, a lot of times, all their power is in the fact that you don't have anything. All I got to do is throw a little bit of money at you. And you have to say yes, because you live in LA. You're trying to survive. Your rent is $8,000 a month for an efficiency. And you need money. And so you're going to sign this shitty contract. And I'm going to give you $10,000. And that's more money than you've ever had at once. And I'm buying the rights to your idea. And I'm going to turn around and make $10 million off it. But when you have security in your money, you can say no to shit like that. Well, that sort of situation in Hollywood only really applies to big budget things now. It's very hard to get people to, if they know what's going on, to sign off on something like that now. But a big budget thing is different. Like if it's a movie or something like that, then it's like, what are you going to do? It's going to make me famous. It'll give me steady work. That's for people in the show business. You know what's wild? Is this story with the Flash. Do you know the story with the movie The Flash? I mean, I know Ezra Miller was like a controversial figure. But to say it mildly. Really? To say it mildly. OK, hit me. I mean, he must be so good in this fucking movie. I haven't seen the movie, but I heard it's really good. He must be so good. He's a freak, man. OK. I mean, he's non-binary. He says he's a they-them, which gives him a lot of leeway. But with the stuff that he gets accused of, it's like, what does he accuse of, Jamie? It's weird, because it's hard to imagine that they still released this movie with all these controversial charges against this guy. And I understand that they spent some god-awful amount of money on the movie. It was funny, too, that the Batgirl lady didn't do shit. They just canceled her movie. Yeah, but he got something with children. OK. Vanity Fair's report followed an update from Rolling Stone, which detailed how Vermont State Police were unable to find a mother and her three children who were allegedly living in unsafe conditions at Miller's farm in the state. Reportedly, the police attempt to serve the mother with an emergency care order that would take away the children from Miller's property. The repeated attempt to contact the mother, apparently, is what resulted in the police charging Miller with felony burglary. Vermont State Police also report this occurred after police found out that several bottles of alcohol were taken from a residence. After looking at surveillance footage, they found probable cause to charge Miller, who was issued a citation to show up in Vermont Superior Court for arraignment in late September. Imagine the flash steals your booze. You see the flash is breaking into your house and stealing your booze? It's his house, though, wasn't it? I don't know. Well, it says it's his property. People were staying there. It says it's taking from a residence. Miller's property. Well, the parents, the children, were staying at Miller's property. His farm. His farm, right. It says the repeated attempt to contact the mother, apparently, resulted in police charging Miller with felony burglary. This occurred after police found out that several bottles of alcohol were taken from a residence. This doesn't say the same residence. It says a residence, like someone's home. So he was stolen from someone's house. After looking at surveillance footage, they found probable cause to charge Miller. So it's not his. He stole booze from someone's house. So that's what I was saying, Jay. That doesn't seem that bad. Yeah, but that's crazy. Imagine the flash is stealing booze. Are you a fucking superhero? You're stealing my booze? Well, man, there's somebody that's rich stealing anything from you. Right. What do those two things have to do with each other? I don't know. So the mother and the children, who knows what that is? Yeah, go ahead. That could be anything. You want glasses and ice? Can we get glasses and ice for Mr. Simpson? But there was something else. There was a protection order put against him. There were unattended guns at the house. A source alleged that one child picked up a stray bullet and put it in her mouth. Oh, Jesus. Social worker visited the home and told the children's father that they looked good, yet there was more work to do. Wasn't there something else, though? I've never heard. There's more than one case. Yeah, it sounded to me like people rented his house, and then some shit was happening at his house, and he was trying to get involved. But that does not seem like what was really happening. It seemed like there's something else. You sound like an Ezra Miller apologist. I've never heard of it. No, I'm just trying to make sense. What is that that you got right there? This is Estancia. Oh, that stuff's horrible. Is it? That's Megan Murphy stuff. No. No? No? It's not? Does that feel? Those are the way of different bottles. Oh, OK. I think. Let's get him some ice and some glasses. I just wanted to get it because it was different. I don't know. It smells sweet. What is that? No, no, that is. That's the idea. Is that it? R I don't know, man. Grab some stuff. Just grab whatever looks good. I don't even know what I'm going to taste this. I'm going to say it's bad as you say. It's bad. This, though. Give that stuff a try first. Yeah. If you want, we can break out with smelling salts. We got going on here. It can't be that bad. Oh, it's bad. Take a sip of that. It's tequila munch on base. Good. Hit it. Hit it. Enjoy. Oh, shit. I told you. Yeah, yeah. Nasty. What the fuck, Megan? What the fuck? What the fuck, Megan? This shit tastes like. She loves it. Tastes like floor cleaner or some shit. It's so nasty. Yeah, yeah. I'm good on this. Yeah. I mean, who likes that? Weirdos. Let me get a swig of that. Just so I. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. Oh, it's so gross, man. It's foul. Here we go. Let's take a little bit. You know what, I'm going to take my punishment. It's worse than I remember. Oh, yeah, it's real bad. It's foul. Smelling salt so you can forget that. Oh, yeah, bust out the small ones. It's fresh. They're fresh. So you can. Oh, yeah. But you really got small ones? Of course you do. Of course you do. Why is that surprising at all? Theo Vaughn's addiction. Whoops. Theo Vaughn. Is this the same ones? Oh, this is like in the bag. This is going to be rough. I haven't even touched it. It's going to be rough. But are those like legit joints? They use it in fights? Oh, yeah. No, they use it. They use it like power lifters use it before they attempt a big lift. Really? That's in a special package. This is not a different company. This is not a special package. Like oh, jeez, this one's so bag jammy. I know. My eyes hurt. I. My eyes are open in the bag, dude. I didn't even open the bottle. This is I don't know what this means. Magua, my spario. Holy shit, dude. Just smell this bag. Just smell the bag. Why are you doing this? The bag is closed. Oh, that's just a bag. That's just the bag inside of this. He didn't give me no fucking he didn't go. Take a little tiny. Take your time. This is still sealed. Oh, man. The rest is absolutely turning to me smelling stuff. Bro, this hurts from here. Oh, man, Joe. Oh. What if you'd be sick? You went too close. It can't be that bad. It is. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. He went too close. Oh, my god. We're going to take a break. No, no, no. We're good. Brian's got to go. It's still burning me. Brian almost ate it. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. This one is so much stronger, dude. I know. That's why I'm leaving these in the package. So much stronger. Oh, shit. Oh, that's bad. That is so much stronger. Oh, that's bad. It's so bad. Oh, lord. That's the old one times 1,000. Oh, my god. It hurts, dude, still. It still hurts. The inside of my nose got scorched. I thought they had flavored ones. Oh, what flavored? I couldn't find it. I think they went to spa. Folks at home, you can hear Brian Simpson's in the hallway moaning. Oh, Jesus. That was so ever. Can you close the door, please? It's still burning me. And I did mine like 30 seconds before you. Pool water. Oh, Jesus Christ. To me, I just remember pool water. This is way worse than pool water. It's just sucking pool water up here. It's the worst, man. No, this shit is. This one, Jamie, is so bad. It's so much worse than the other ones. I treated it like it was the other ones. I took a real snifferoo. I got in there deep. In the package package, the package that came in the mail, I was smelling through that. It's insane how strong that is. Oh my god, dude, what the fuck? It's insane. How could that possibly help you live? Why is that necessary? I was thinking do this and go on stage, but I never did. But imagine that one, doing that one. People that you go on stage, people like, what drugs you on? That was one of the. Smelling salts. That was one of the worst things. I don't know if I've ever read this one so quick. Where is it, by the way? Where'd you put it? Oh, you have it, OK. It's right here. Oh my god, dude, that shit. It burned my whole shit, like all up in my slimes. Is this supposed to be the same as the other ones we got? There's only one he makes. That's insane. It's so inconsistent. What the fuck is it for? It's power lifters. They take a sniff of that shit and then lift weights. No way. Yeah. It's horrible, Jamie. Want to try it? No, absolutely not. My eyes already, I'm like close enough. Bro, my eyes were watering when I opened up the bag. Just when I tore the top of the bag, my eyes started watering. Man, that. That's insane. Oh my god, bro. Bro, y'all don't even know what I was just going through. Yeah, it's harsh. Like I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me. That bag fucked me up. And you'd be like, that's even stronger. I put it right here. Yeah. It's like, what the? So the whole time I was suffering, I was feeling like an idiot. I was like, what the fuck? Oh, I felt like an idiot too, because I had done it before on the ones that were not as potent. Oh, man. That is the most potent one by far. Easy. That's so bad. So I don't want to have this called the bread line. Get that shit away from me. That's worse. It was just like the highest selling one on the Amazon. It says they use an advanced polymer to bring the strongest and longest lasting formulation yet. Maybe it lasts longer because this one after a while does die off. Yeah, this is made out of some weird material that that's not. We should probably store this in the garage. I think it's bothering me just sitting here. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what that one smells like. Spare the man over. Oh, Jesus Christ. No, sir. Oof, it got me, motherfuckers. Do you smell it? Do you smell that? Like when you're holding the bottle? Do you smell it? Nope. Oh, you're holding it. Tim, can you bring a bottle of water? There's water right there in that metal. That's right. Dude, what's wrong with us? Terrible taste in alcohol. That was so stupid. So dumb. Oh, man, Joe. I can't wait to get Theo back in here. Open up a freshy. That's the thing. You got to open up that bag. Yeah, it's oh. Yeah, it's still in the room. Oh, my God. But it's crazy because the ones that we had before, they were like 1 tenth of that. I threw my glasses. Oh, yeah. I worried we were going to throw the smelling salts. Well, no, the thing is I could. Oh, you think that happened? Oh, my God. I couldn't see. I didn't see that happen with you. Because my eyes were burning. I had to close my eyes. I had my eyes closed shut. And I heard you go, ah. Oh, my God. Man, what was wrong with me? Holy shit. Holy shit. It still hurts. The inside of my nose still hurts. It's probably like 50 times worse than the last one. And the worst shit is when you hurt yourself. You can only blame yourself. Oh, yeah. No, you can blame me. What did they figure out that makes it so fucking strong that nobody else has? I don't know how they stumbled across that. Man, maybe this is the best advertisement for it. That's the strongest shit I've ever smelled, ever, period. But, Jamie, this is the same one as the other one. So it was like the batches are different. It's just it's like a weed edible. Sometimes you break it up and you put too much in the left one. And the one on the right gets pulled to the left. If they start mixing that shit with cocaine, people will quit cocaine overnight. I 100% thought that I was going to see blood in this tissue when I just blew my nose. It still hurts. It still hurts all up in my head. My eyes hurt. And the thing is, I was breathing. But I felt like I wasn't breathing. Yeah. That was horrible. Yeah, it was like I thought it was going to never end. The inside of my nose is scorched. You're not supposed to go that close. You guys went close and you're supposed to go. Where are you supposed to go? Like six inches away, maybe. Where did I go? Yeah, where was all that information? I got up in the comments. I got up in there. Now you weren't listening to me saying, don't go that deep. It's like six inches right here. Yeah. Yeah. Bro, nah, bro. It's an end, though. It's got to be. That sounds like Captain Me. That's like when they told us to stay six feet away for COVID. Right. It's like that just sound like a number that somebody just threw out there. Yeah, that actually says 12 inches away. Yeah, OK. That's more like it. Because right here, right here. We both got in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got in there. I was like an inch from my nose. And did not do more than a few times per day. Uh-oh, three of them. Somebody's, I'm telling you, Joe, somebody's going to remix this episode. And they're going to constantly be playing. You're going to suck on it. And then us sniffing these fucking. And it's going to turn into it. They're going to put a beat to it. One can only hope. Oh, yeah, the fans are fucking amazing. The internet's amazing. The internet is so great. Memes to me, like that's some of my favorite laughs of the day. It's ridiculous memes that people say. It really is a brand new kind of version of comedy. That is, it's very super culturally specific. You couldn't, most of the best memes of the time, you couldn't show somebody a meme. You know, you show somebody a meme in 10 years with no context. And they just don't get it. Right, yeah. So it's like the new version of a street joke. Right, right. And some of them did just get everywhere. Like they do with the big dick sitting on the side of the bed. Because the pictures can be used for so many things. So many things. It's crazy. And there's some people out there that really be, you know, they're really good at making a good meme. Anytime someone gets fucked up, anytime something happens, someone falls down, someone does that meme of me with the microphone. Yeah. And they don't get paid for it. Wherever they come from, somebody always takes credit. And they don't want to pay. Well, there's all these pages that are just dedicated to memes. And they just find them on Reddit or wherever they get them from and 4chan. And they just post them everywhere. Oh, yeah. It's like it's crowd-sourced comedy. Yeah. And now everyone with a sense of humor has a folder dedicated to memes. Yeah. Yeah. Some people are quick with them too. Like when our friends send me them sometimes, like, how did you have that? Right. Just sitting there, do you have them categorized? It all picked up during the pandemic, right? Don't you think? Meme meme? Nah, meme meme was big before the pandemic. Do you think it got bigger during the pandemic? You know what I think happened is I think there were memes that were more universal. So it felt like that. Like we all shared in more stuff than we normally. You know what I mean? Like mass. Yeah, like Tiger King type of deal. Yeah. Like if that wasn't for the pandemic, it's like that would have been kind of popular. But everyone wouldn't have seen it. You imagine if Trump pardoned him. I thought he would have. I wonder if it was on a list. I thought he was going to. But I think he probably said some shit about Trump in the past. Did he or something? Something not wise because it doesn't is why that he wouldn't do it even because so many people wanted him to. Yeah. Is he in jail? Yeah, I thought he was dying of cancer. I was supposed to yesterday. Hmm. So he says. Yeah, I don't know. What is he? Tag the he tagged Trump and Trump. This can't be real. What is the thing? I think it is his account because they messaged me on that. It said someone better start doing reform because they and their families are supporting me because you never keep your promises. OK, I don't know what that means. Not sure what that means, but that guy, I mean, what a what a weird cultural phenomenon, right? Everyone's locked in their home. And then all of a sudden, this is a wacky reality show about a dude who collects tigers and everybody's telling you you have to see it. Yeah, and they were right. It was great, but they just caught lightning in a bottle. They just they hit the perfect spot. Yeah, they were like HBO by accident. Yeah, for once for one show. Yes, Tiger King was Tiger King was it. I mean, they've had a couple of hits to the. But that one was like everywhere for president. He's trying to. State sends back his paperwork because he's not on the presidential ballot in Colorado. Colorado is like, no, son, fuck out of here. Damn, the smelling salts, man. I'm just coming back to normal. Yeah, I'm just it still burns a little bit. Yeah, my right nostril still a little bit. Boy, I'm breathing good. Yeah, clean. Is that what that's for? I think that's what that's for. Well, I think it's just the central nervous stimulant. The idea is that you get that jolt of it and your whole body like, ah, and then you get fucking raw. You do that and do that in the cold plunge. Mm hmm. You know, from people fainting, they used to break it out when you faint. And you put it on the right. Well, like then people start to do other. Of course. But imagine waking up like you have now you got a concussion and you can't breathe. What is the what's the purpose of amyl nitrate? The because those were poppers and people would take amyl nitrate and they would pop it under their nose and sniff it. Yeah, I make sure you get really high. I know it's a sex thing. It's used. Yeah. So it makes you want to. Vasodilator vasodilators and medicines are called the blood vessels in the body to dilate and involuntary smooth muscles to relax, lowering blood pressure and loosening up that booty holes. That's where apparently that was a big thing in the gay community and contributed to like, I guess it like really fucked you up. I think amyl nitrate. I think it gives you brain damage. Also a cyanide poisoning antidote. Oh, wow. Also, if you get cyanide poisoning, you crack one of those babies from the 20s and 30s. Oh, cyanide poisoning these days. I remember there's always like the fucking the spy that had a fake tooth. But it's illegal. It's illegal to sell is like a sex thing. So they they sell it. Yeah, so it's a it's VCR head cleaner is what they say. Oh, God. So that's how they sell it. Oh, God. So it's like if you go into a porn store or an adult store, it's the only thing in there that will help. That's a VCR product. That's a but it's definitely not poppers. It's not for sniffing for sex. Right. That's like bath salts. It's a cleaning of VCR, which everyone has. Oh, yeah, bath salts. Wait a minute. What is that a sex thing? Well, bath salts was a drug like an amphetamine type drug, like a designer drug that they were selling that you could buy it like fucking 7-Eleven. You'd buy it like a supermarket or like a like a convenience store, gas station store. And these these things they would say not for human consumption bath salts. And it was it was like an amphetamine and people were smoking it. You never you don't remember that. I remember bath salts being a thing, but I never was like into it. I don't know. What was in the news because like some dude was on bath salts and he ate some guy's face. Yeah, but what wasn't that? That wasn't enough. Not being because of the bass. Well, he's fucking insane. He was insane. But the bass also definitely didn't help. I mean, if you're on meth and you're insane. If you're already prone to some kind of delusional shit, it's just going to make it worse. What is the deal? What were bath salts? I think it's more than one different chemical because it's not regulated. Making sure it wasn't this stuff. But can you actually use bath salts for baths? No. OK, so it's all bullshit. No. I mean, if you did, you'd probably die. It probably all all that bath salts would get into your skin from the warm water. All that meth. You take a meth bath. Yeah, it'll get in your skin. You think it's just the meth bath? It's like, well, if you did it that way, if you did pour it into hot water, it would most likely get in your hole for sure. It's a synthetic version of this drug. Cat. Oh, that's what the Somali pirates take. Can you make that larger? What does cat do? Does it just make you want to... It's like an amphetamine. Cathinone is monoamine alkaloid found in the shrub, cathis, edulis, and is chemically similar to ephedrine. Is it ephedrine? Ephedrine. Cathine, meth, meth-cathinone. Cathine, meth-cathinone and other amphetamines. So it's an amphetamine. It's probably the main contributor to the stimulant effect of cathis, edulis, also known as cat. So, cathinone is bath salts. Synthetic cathinone. Synthetic cathinone. Marketed as bath salts should not be confusing products such as Epsom salts, which people use during bathing. Yeah, so I wonder how many people bought it and thought it was actual bath salts and poured it in the bath. And you... I bet they did. Because if it says bath salts, some really fucking stupid person doesn't know. They're breaking into buildings to get that shit back in like 2011. The bath salts. Yeah, that's why, like, if you mention that a drug is killing people or... People want to buy it. Yeah, people want it. Yeah, K2 was big at the same time. Remember that? What was K2? An herb-like substance that people smoked instead of weed that they sprayed shit on. Remember that? And then they would... Kept... They kept changing what they were spraying on it every so often because it would get outlawed. Do you remember this? It was then, like, then I'll show the salvia. Then people were like, oh, is it like the salvia shit that we're smoking? Salvia. It's not like that. That is not the same thing. Salvia is strong. I've done salvia at once, am I? Yeah. Salvia is real. I mean, that is a real fucking drug. Spice, they also called it. Salvia might be the strongest... In terms of its effect, maybe the strongest drug I've ever taken. But do you know that salvia is... It's either in the family of sage or... What do you want? Tissue. It's either in the sage family or it is sage. Like, salvia divinorum, I think is... Which is interesting because, you know, sage... We've always thought of, like, wise old sage, like some ancient wisdom and the fact that it's actually a psychedelic. Is that the same thing? Like, if you buy sage, is that salvia? No. No. Is it a version of it? No, no, no. It's just called diviner sage or seer sage. I don't... It's not an actual sage? I mean, it's a plant. It's a shrub. I don't know. Maybe it's like a... Oh, okay. But that stuff used to be able to buy it everywhere. I couldn't believe it. It's so powerful. Dude, so the first time I did it, I remember... Like, I thought that my body had shattered into, like, little millions of mini-me's and I was, like, panicking trying to keep myself together in one... That's what sage is called, salvia. Oh, so it is... It's related somehow. It says salvia... So salvia divinorum is the salvia that is... Yeah, okay. And so that's a different kind of salvia that's sage? Yeah, that must be, like, salvia has got to be some sort of... So somehow another... Largest. Yeah, yeah. Okay. You know that people use that drug to, like, try to be shaman? Like, yeah, I took some salvia. This is what I saw. That's your future. Right. Because you would see some crazy shit. There was a girl with me doing it the first time I did it, and she wanted to do hers in the bathtub filled with pillows. She's like, oh, it'd be so cool. Whatever. They put her in there, and she took the hit, and we closed the door, and she screamed for, like, 30 seconds. She thought she was falling in the bottom of this pit. See, the thing about salvia is this is what's so... This is why salvia is so powerful, because it's the only drug I've ever taken where it is impossible for you to realize that you're on drugs. You... whatever... See, it only lasts for, you know, 30 seconds or so, but you think that shit is happening. Like, it's no doubt of your mind. There's no point where you can stop and be like, it's okay, I'm on salvia. You know, like, if you do too many mushrooms or you do too... Yeah. ...some of the... like, I'm just real high. No, on salvia, you're like, this is happening. I'm literally falling into the abyss. Somebody kicked me into the pit from 300. Oh, my God. Man, did you ever see the video of Ari, where he took salvia on Red Band's show? He took salvia on Red Band's show and said he lived another life for months. He said he had friends, he went to work, he had relationships, all this different shit, and then he woke up. He was gone, he said, for months. And it was like 10 minutes. So he just tripped balls for 10 minutes. I encourage everyone to watch it. He was taking bong rips and like, he didn't take the first one good enough, so he took another hit. And then this is like the start of like a five-minute video where he just starts slipping away. Yeah, he just went into another dimension, lived a different life. He starts coming back is where things start getting real different. That's what freaks me out. Like, what if that's really what's going on? What if there's like multiple Brian Simpsons living in multiple realms all over the world right now? And that's what dreaming is? All over the universe. Is you just connecting to your different bodies? Connecting to your consciousness to different portals? Yeah, well, I think there's a lot to that belief that like, the fact that we are all separate beings is an illusion. Yeah. You're just a little piece that's living a little piece that but you're, you're connected to everything. Do you think that there's a purpose to this struggle then? It's like if we're all connected in some ways, like, what is everyone struggling? What is that facilitating? Like, what's that creating that's necessary? Like, why is that happening? What's the overall purpose of that? If we're all connected? I don't think there is a purpose. No? No. But it's doing something. The need, the need for purpose is a human affliction. The need for things to mean something, you know? Right. It's like when you see, you know, when you see a, you know, when you see a shark eat a or you see a killer whale eat a seal, you don't go, what does it mean? Right. And the whales definitely not thinking that. It's like they're just being. I don't think there's a purpose. I think we just are. Purpose is to experience. Right. But the thing that's happening with human beings with this, this struggle and this, like, conquering resources and all the different, one of the things they're doing is they're, they're constantly creating new and better things. And it seems to like an overall purpose of the human race. I just wonder if somehow or another that competition is what facilitates this increase in technology and innovation. Part of it is because of the competition. Part of it is because of the fact that we don't get along like this, like the struggle that creates movement. Well, human beings, we need competition to survive. Yeah. Like if you like, if you were ever in charge of a big group of people and you need to get the best thing to do is to break them into two teams and keep score. You know? Yeah. Yeah. We need it. I think it's something in human nature. We need an enemy for us to unite. That's what like, you know, America was never more together than like the month after 9-11. Yeah, for sure. Right? Because like, oh, now there's a them. And we all feel justified because we don't know about it. Remember the American flags in everybody's car? Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. People listen to the country music they never had. We'll put a boot in your head. Right? People got very excited about it. So it's like, I think that's just how people are built up. They did that. They did that to us in the military. You have you, you know, it's like, well, obviously we're all the same unit. We're all the same big unit with the same mission. But you know, is your company versus my company? Is your platoon versus my platoon? Is your squad versus my squad within the platoon? And it's like the competition, it pushes people. Yeah, for sure. Everybody wants to win. Winning feels great. Triumph. That's the best shit ever. When you watch them, when you watch another person triumph, you're like, you feel it. Like when, when, when, uh, when Izzy beat Paneer, we felt that shit. We were all, we were in the mothership green room. You were, I think you were calling the fights. But man, that moment, we lost our shit in there, man. And we were all, we were all looking at like a laptop screen and everybody was like, ah, ah, ah. And then the speech he gave afterward, like everything was just so perfect. And you felt that. That's the, as good as entertainment ever gets. Yeah. He's like, I just watched, he just, I wish you could have this feeling. It's like, oh, I know that feeling. Oh man. But at his level, like that's, that's gotta be the best of the world. Redemption, overcoming the demon, revenge, revenge, flatlining the demon. All the worst things. All the, all the most he triumphed over like three things in that one moment. And he triumphed over the guy stylistically, which is the most dangerous opponent for him. And here's the other thing. He, what I love, what I love so much about that moment, you gotta love, this is what I love about Izzy is he, he knows how to be an entertainer. A lot of the fight, the fighters don't realize that it's like you have to be, the greatest part was the arrows when he shot the arrows into his body. Cause who, who, what was so beautiful about that moment to me is he won in the same position that he lost the last time. Yeah. The last time he got in that position where he was getting well, going up against the fence, he lost. And then he got put back right in that same position and had a fucking plan for it. Yeah. It was perfect. Did you see the videos of him drilling that? Oh no. He drilled that. He drilled that over and over again, back to the rose right hand, back to the rose right hand. Yeah. There's tons of video of him with his back to a wall in training, throwing that right hand. Of course. He went over the videos. He saw the hole, you know, he went over the, the fights. He saw the style, the style. So the fucking blood clots. Look at this. So they, they, they planned this and look how the guy's fighting. He's fighting like Pajeta. Literally the same. Right. Same exact right in did it perfect, but that's also the same bright hand that he landed at the end of the first round. So the end of the first round in the first MMA fight, he had Pajeta in real trouble, but then the bell rang, he would have had him right there. It's basically had him in the same trouble. He had him with the first right hand where he knocked him out in the second fight. Yeah. Cause it was the second shot that put him away. The first shot rocks him. The second shot puts him in the hammer. And they actually have a lot of respect for each other. Oh yeah. But the thing is, you know, I always, I always feel bad for the foreign fighters or, or I would say, I'll say this were fighters where English is not their first language when it comes to the talking game. Cause cause it's so cultural. And if, and if you don't, if you're not immersed enough in, in, in, in American culture, that trash talk, cause probably, cause cause Pajeta was probably saying some shit where like, if you speak Portuguese, you were like, Pajeta talking about shit, but in English it doesn't translate, you know, like you, you know, like they, it's not the same thing. He's like, Oh, I'm a man with two horses. It's like, that's, that's not, it's not coming across. You know what I mean? In Brazil, like he talking that shit, but over here, you can't talk shit with Izzy in English cause you don't, you can't keep up. No. Yeah. Yeah. He has to get by just on his talent. I mean, his, his draw is just his destruction ability. Oh, he is talented. Oh, he's so talented. He's moving up, right? I believe so. It's interesting. Anderson Silva said he thought he was a mistake. Moving up. Yeah. I didn't read the article. I just read the headline and it said Anderson Silva thought it was a mistake for him to move up to 205, which is interesting. Cause I don't know if that's necessarily true. I think he's gonna, I think he's gonna dominate. Well, the problem is wrestlers. The problem is wrestlers. Cause Izzy, you know, had him in some real bad positions in that first fight. Uh, Anderson Silva, not a fan of Pajeta's move to 205. He wanted Pajeta to win back the middleweight title before moving to light heavyweight. I think that cut is too much. I think that cut is real bad for him. Huge man. It's so bad for you. And he's, I think he's 35 now. There's a, you know, at a certain age, like your body just does not want to do that anymore. You're, you're killing yourself. One day before a cage fight, I was done. I was over getting punched in the face in my twenties. The last time I got punched in the face, I was like, I don't like that. Yeah. I'm not going to do it on purpose. Especially getting punched in the face by that guy or either one of those guys. But you know what? Facing Jan Buhovich, which is a wild fight. That's going to be a problem. And Jan Buhovich is a very good grappler too. So, I mean, he dominated Izzy on the ground. And Jan, you know what too, Jan is very good at game planning. Oh yeah. You know, he's also got tremendous power. Yeah. Fucking tremendous power. Polish power. But he doesn't always show up. Well, I mean, think, you know, if you look at the Glover to share a fight, that's a fight where he, you know, you could say he didn't show up, but I don't think that's the case. I think that Glovers is just that good. Yeah. And yeah. And I mean, especially that was like Glovers kind of last swan song. He won the title. Well, he just didn't, he didn't, okay. Maybe he didn't show up. It's not fair. Jan, I would never say that to you in person. I would say he didn't seem as locked in as he did when he fought Izzy. I think I genuinely think that that's just how good Glover is. Oh wow. Yeah. I think Glovers, he's just in his forties, but he's still a fucking animal man. And in that fight, the one he won the title, he was stellar. I mean, if you watch the performance, you watch how he catches Jan with a left hand, how he takes him down, how he takes his back. I mean, you can't really put it against Jan. I think he got clipped. Do you think he's going to be done these times? Glover or Jan? Glover. Yeah. I think Glover's done. Yeah. Glover retired after Jamal Hill boxed him up. Jamal Hill showed him, I think, that at the top of the light heavyweight division, now these young guys, especially like a talented striker like Jamal, that's just too much. Fighting more than any other sport, the UFC moves the fastest in terms of the next generation adopting. Yeah. Yeah. Because I seriously believe this is true of fighting, comedy, whatever. I think the current generation's amazing becomes the next generation's basics. And then they build, and then that becomes their basics. And so the amazing shit they do is even more amazing. It's like basketball, right? Where it's like, I remember seeing Michael Jordan, he went up on one side of the basket, brought it back down and came back and was like, and I had never seen anybody do that before. It was amazing. And now you can't even be in the NBA if you can't do that. If you're a point guard in the NBA, you have to be able to do that. It's the basics. You know what I mean? You know what Killer Mike showed us yesterday? What? Michael Jordan's brother. You know, Michael Jordan had a brother who was a bad motherfucker. He said he was better than him. Well, a lot of Michael's moves, you see his brother do. So fade away jump shots. Where's his brother? His brother's smaller. His brother's just smaller than him. Yeah. But his brother's a killer player. I don't know whatever happened with him if he played professionally. I don't know what happened, but the dude was fucking good. But the other thing we were saying yesterday, imagine having that brother as a sparring partner. He's only 5'8\". He's only 5'8\". But also imagine him not being famous too in some way. For me to not know who he was until just now. Or yesterday for me, yeah. That seems kind of crazy. Maybe he should have the Children's Jordans or something like that. You know what I mean? You think you would slide him something? Some kind of way to make a... Yeah, I don't know. Some people just want everybody to do it for themselves. But I think this is a smart thing, man. A lot of people don't realize, because you have the power, you can make someone famous. I've seen you do it to several people. But some people don't realize that some people that think they want that don't realize what actually comes with it. Yeah, they don't know what it is. Right. So maybe he just protected him from that. He was like, you don't need to be famous. I'll take care of you. But you don't want that. I doubt it. Michael Jordan loves being famous. I took care of his brother. He's got a pretty good job. He gave him a job with the team he owned. He played professional basketball, but he's not the NBA. There you go. We just don't know who he is. He's not famous. Working for the Bobcats. Maybe he enjoys it. Maybe he's a more low-key dude. Some people don't want that pressure. I mean, look, you only live a certain amount of time in this world. How much pressure do you really want? Yeah. Well, the thing too is you don't want to be the famous person with a job. To handle being famous, you have to have enough money to protect yourself from the negative side of it. Yes. You can't just get... Well, that's why famous reality stars are fucked. You don't have any money. Right. You're not rich enough to deal with being famous. You gotta, or you'll lose your mind. Yeah. And then sometimes they're famous for a little while, and then they're not on TV anymore, and then they have regular jobs. Remember, there was a couple of those guys from the real world where they were infamous on the real world, and then they're just out there in the wild with no money. Right. Famous. You remember the rude gay guy from season four? Yeah, he just delivered... He just dropped off my pocket. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get it. But, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. Working for the 9-5 is an honorable, respectable, funny thing. For sure. But it's like, you know, I just... I feel sorry for the generation of young folks that want to be known, but they don't care what they known for. Well, it's a goal, right? And it's very difficult to get, and it's also, you're saying, like, games. Like, people want to win. If your friend has, you know, 100,000 Instagram followers, and you have 120,000, and you guys are, like, battling it out to see who's a bigger influencer, and you're doing stunts and shit at the mall and pranks. Wow. Because, like, you know TikTok. So, you know how, you know, Spotify will pay per listen per play, and YouTube will pay per views, right? Well, TikTok doesn't do that. TikTok has a pool of money that only goes to, like, the top 500 people or something like that. I don't know what the exact number is. So, it's just a fixed amount of money that only goes to the top people. And, you know, the top 10 get... Number one gets paid the most, number two gets paid the second most, and so on, so on, so forth. So, they're literally competing. So, you know, and there's people on there that have, like, lost their minds because they went from number one to number two. You know? Wow. Yeah, right? When you start ranking people, that was the downfall of MySpace. MySpace was just... The top 10. People might not remember. The big change in social media was when Facebook started showing you stuff that you weren't... like, showing you stuff from people that you didn't know. But, remember, at first, MySpace and Facebook was, it was just your friends. And if you wanted to... If I wanted to go to your... If I wanted to know something about what was going on with you, I had to go to your page and look at what you posted on your page. Then they started just showing you things from your friends' pages. So, you didn't have to do that. Then they started showing you stuff from other people. Instagram, Vine, all of that. They were just showing you random stuff. That's when the algorithm was born. It was like, well, what do we show them? Well, now we see this is what he looks at. They start showing you stuff from strangers, and that's what changed everything. Now you can be famous. You make one little funny little thing, you can be known. How about that one dude that just has facial reactions to things? Oh, yeah. I forget his name, KB. Yeah. KB12 or something like that. That guy's huge. And it's good. It's funny. Yeah, it's good. It's pretty entertaining. It's like New Age mining. It's like, he's doing exactly... He's thinking what we're thinking. He's like... Yeah. And the fact that it's perfectly... Like, it's a perfect medium for it. Those little short TikTok videos, little short reels. Yeah. A lot of people got rich during the pandemic off of being entertaining. But that's also like, just when we're talking memes, it's a different kind of comedy. This is a different kind of entertaining. Yeah. Some people are good at it. Some people are mad about it. Who's mad? You get a phone call? I don't even know who that is. You don't have your shit sent to go to voicemail if you don't know who they are? No. I should do that, huh? Yeah, it's fucked. But I thought I had my shit on Do Not Disturb. Yeah, you go to my voicemail, guess what? It's not even set up. Why did it ring though? Why? I don't know. It should... Yeah, it's on Do Not Disturb. So they must have called multiple times. It's probably some scammer. Yeah. Trying to tell you about a fortune that you miss an out on? All the time. Nobody calls me. Most of my phone calls are... My mom is the only person that calls me. I like calling people when I'm in the car. Yeah. It's funny. It depends on their age. People under 35 don't like phone calls. Really? Fuck no. Fuck no. But yet they FaceTime each other all the time. Right. To them, that's different. But that's also the next level of intimacy. Right. If I could FaceTime you. Yeah, we all know each other like that. We'll FaceTime you? Yeah. Yeah, because if you... You know what it is? When you FaceTime... Tom and I talked about this on his podcast. But it's like an solicited FaceTime. When is it appropriate? Who can do it? Right. And we didn't solve it on the pod, but we came up with the solution. The answer is you have to have seen my dick or interacted with my dick. Like for you to just FaceTime me unsolicited, that covers wife, kids, medical professionals. Right. That's the only people that should be best friends. That should be the only people contacting me FaceTime without warning me first. Right. Yeah. It's just... Yeah, if it's someone that's a casual acquaintance and they're FaceTime me, unless they have a good friend of yours with you. Yeah, because if you FaceTime me, that means I can't do anything else while I'm talking to you. Right. You know, if I'm just talking to you audio, I can be still doing other stuff. But FaceTime is a commitment. It's like, okay, I'm taking your time and you can't multitask. Yeah. So what is this about? I just wanted to see your face. That's not good enough. Only FaceTime me if it's something for me to see. We all need to be looking at each other to talk to each other. Yeah. And FaceTime, they can drag on too. And you're holding that thing up. Okay. Yeah. I gotta go. I'm tired of doing this. Man, I stopped trying to think of clever little lies. It was like, hey, man, I'm gonna go ahead and get up off of here. How do you FaceTime on an Android? What do you mean? When someone FaceTimes you? Do you panic? Oh, no, no, no. So if I get a FaceTime from an Apple thing, I can just click a link and FaceTime it. But does it look shitty? But Google has like Google Meet and then there's Discord. I mean, not Discord. What was the shit that got popular during the pandemic? Zoom. Zoom. Yeah. But usually Google has Google Meet. Yeah. So, and if not, I get a link and I just go it anyway. I don't think I can do it the other way around. I mean, I can send you a Google Meet link. Really? I don't think so. That seems like... Silly. Yeah. So it's not like I figured out thumbs up or liking the text messages on both of those. Yeah. Finally thumbs up a green message. Well, it's just Apple. It's just Apple holding that walled garden, right? They won't allow you to send the iMessages on any other device. No. Then you would just get a Samsung phone and send iMessages to your Apple friends. All right. I'm gonna try to FaceTime you from here. Okay. Don't call it FaceTime though, because it's some bullshit Google thing. Stop blind or something. All right. I think this is it right there. Okay, good. Okay. I sent you the invite. Did you get it? Nope. It is weird. Some apps, you get a phone call on an app and it just shows up like your phone's ringing and you're like, hold on, what is this? Someone's calling me from WhatsApp? How the fuck that happens? Oh, see, I can't initiate it. Interesting. Seems like it's not working. It's not working. Sucks. Not working. How close have you come to switching to the dark side? And honestly, I really, really thought about it the other day. Really? Because my cat went missing for a day. Oh, it didn't have an air tag. Right. Well, she, the bitch won't wear a collar. She's wearing like anti-control measures. You know what I'm saying? But there is one, there is a certain kind of collar that I could force her to keep on. Like she would be fucked. She would fucking hate it. Like she does, you know, but there's just way more options because the way air tech, cause Samsung has this version of air tax called smart tax, but the way they work is they don't actually have GPS on them themselves. They just connect to any nearby Samsung or Apple device. And there's way more iPhones around. So, so it'll just, it'll ping and it'll let, it'll let the nearest iPhone device. So it's all connected to a network. So Apple can tell me, you know, basically if you get an invite going, your air tag is here. It means someone with an iPhone walked past that place. Someone else with an Apple product was nearby. That's all this can tell you. Really? Yeah. So, so when you get like the last location of an air tag thing, it just means there was an Apple product near that shit. So, you know, in America, Apple has the domination. So it's like, if I had put a Samsung air tag on her collar, you know, it's just less chances that I'll get an accurate location of where she is. So that I really seriously thought about it. Cause I, you know, I'm serious about my cat. Like I love that bitch, but I just, just the whole ecosystem. Also, you don't want your cat to have to wear a collar. It's going to piss her off. She's wild. She don't like it. She don't even like, she don't like being constrained in any way. Yeah. No, all that sniff each and people try to come over like, no one I'm real good with cats. And they pick her up. Fuck off me bitch. I try to tell them this cat different. They got to sedate her at the vet. Wow. Yeah. Just to do basic shit. They got sedated. Wow. Yeah. She, wow. I got, I give her CBD drops before we go up in there. Cause she don't, she don't play that shit. You know, I get it. I'm like, she wild. Wild cats. Wow. She's wild. Yeah. Yeah. You can't put a collar on her anyway. Don't do it. Don't do it. You know, but like I said, she a smart girl. She been going outside for years. She's, she knows what to be scared of. Yeah. There's not a whole lot of coyotes in Austin property either. It's really out in the hills. Yeah. But you know what, though? No, because I forget. They got Ron White's dog. Remember that documentary I told you about, about the coy wolves. Mm-hmm. What they were, they were, they were talking about how like they're coyotes in every, every major city. Oh yeah. They just don't see, they're so good at staying in the shadows and, and hiding, but they're everywhere. There's a great book on it called Coyote America. Oh man. They're everywhere, right? Yeah. I had the author on the other day. It's really, it's an amazing story. You know, are they, are they just a, why don't they kill them? Is a huge part of the ecosystem? They're just smart. This is the thing, like that when they killed off the wolves, the wolves were the one thing that was kind of keeping the coyotes. What, what happened is gray wolves and coyotes don't breed, but coyotes breed with red wolves, which are East coast wolves. So the coy wolves you see are predominantly, they're East coast wolves that breed with coyotes. But will a gray wolf breed? They'll kill coyotes. But will they breed with a coy wolf? Will they breed with a mixed? No. They don't, it's a different, it's a different, I guess a genus or subspecies. I'm not sure exactly what the term would be, but it's a different animal. And the coyote, when coyote is basically a wolf, it's just a small wolf. And when coyotes get killed, they, what happens is they do roll call when they scream out at night sometimes. And when one of them's missing, it forces the female to have more babies. So they'll have larger litters and then they spread their territory out. And so through, through persecution, like when they're trying to get them out of places, what they've made them do is expand everywhere. And now coyotes are in every single city in North America. They're in New York City. Coyotes are in Boston. They're everywhere. And that wasn't the case 50, 60 years ago. It's like, it's happened over the course of time where they keep choice, get out of my lawn, bang, bang, they shoot them. And then the female coyote have more babies. And then you got a bigger problem. And they were everywhere in LA. Yeah. But it's, the way he was explaining it, it's an evolutionary thing because gray wolves, when they encounter coyotes, they would kill them. And so coyotes, in order to compete with the larger, more vicious gray wolves, they just have more babies. So they expand their territory and they have more babies. So this strategy of like persecuting them and chasing them down, kill them, it just makes more coyotes. But isn't it, but isn't there not enough food for the more coyotes? They're eating everybody's cats. They're eating cats and dogs. I mean, in LA, that's like probably the number one reason why dogs and cats go missing, is coyotes. And if they're hungry enough, don't walk right up to you and take your dog. Oh yeah. They snatch them off people's leash, especially old people, walking a little dog. What are you going to do? It's a little small wolf. It's a 30 pound wolf. You ain't going to stop that thing from running off with your poodle. And people, and the thing is, and if you was, if you was to hurt one of those wolves, I mean, one of those coyotes, even if it was attacking your dog, people would still be like, they'd be mad at you. Yeah. You kill it. Yeah. People are weird when they don't have a real understanding of what wild animals are. They just have this like anthropomorphized Disney version of what animals are until you encounter one. Right. You hear about that guy in Arizona a couple of days ago? They got eaten by a bear. No. He got killed by a bear while he was having coffee. He's just camping out, having a good time, and this bear just runs up on him and starts fucking him up and no one can do anything. No one had a gun. They're trying to stop it. No one had a gun? No one had a gun. In Arizona? In Arizona. I didn't even know they had bears. See if you can get the story. Yeah. They have black bears. Is it a desert bear? Black bears. There's a lot of black bears in Arizona. Arizona is not all desert. There's a lot of woods in Arizona. Arizona man was mauled to death by a black bear in a rare, unprovoked attack. So he's just out there camping and the guy just fucking drinking his coffee and this bear runs up on him. From multiple witness accounts and preliminary investigation of the scene, Mr. Jackson had been sitting having a coffee at a table on his property where he was building a home. Oh, I thought he was camping. The sheriff's office. Oh, so that's what the camper is. So the camper is just like where he's operating on him. The sheriff's office said in a Facebook post adding, it was a remote, heavily wooded area. It appears a male black bear attacked Mr. Jackson, taking him unaware and dragged him approximately 75 feet down an embankment. Neighbors heard Jackson screaming and tried to help through shouts and car horns, but the bear did not release him until a neighbor shot him with his rifle. Oh, so some guy did shoot him. But unfortunately, at that time, Mr. Jackson succumbed to his horrible injuries. Oh my God. That's the thing about black bears. Black bears are more, more likely to be predatory attacks. But imagine not starting with the gun. I mean, that's the first thing. Shoot it. I mean, you got to probably run back to his house and get the gun. Maybe the gun was in a safe, you know, maybe, you know, that's tough. How does a bear catch you unawares? They can do it man, if they're hungry. So if that bear was predatory, that means that bear was really hungry. It was like sneaking. Yeah. They smell you. Maybe he was cooking. Imagine a stealthy bear. That's one of the scariest things on the planet. Well, if the dude had coffee, maybe he had breakfast before he had coffee and the smell of the breakfast was coming out of his little camper. That's how you get when they bait bears, they burn things and put things in the air to get the bears to come. Like when they bait them, when they bait them with like donuts and shit like that. They do that in certain places where it's heavily wooded areas. And literally the only way to hunt black bears is to bait them. So you set a bait stands and you consistently feed those bears at that spot all the time. Like you drop by food, you know, every couple of times a week. Oh, then they get, yeah, they know that that's the spot. And so then you go and you wait in front of that spot. It's very dirty. It's a dirty game. Sometimes they would a day they're waiting on your ass. Sometimes they are. I remember you, didn't you, wasn't you telling me about the whales that learn how to orcas? Yeah, they've learned how to fuck people's boats up. That's, that's so funny to me. It's crazy. It's kind of hilarious. Because for all these years, we mistreat them. And finally, they're like enough. Yeah, I'm gonna start fucking up your boats. And they're real smart creatures. Oh, they probably teaching every whale in the ocean how to do that. Probably at least the whales there. I think it's only one part of the world where this is happening right now. But the problem is the word gets out. Yeah, they have some they have those songs they sing and they go hundreds of kilometers. And they that's how they tell each other. Hey, we fucking people up over here. Did you see that video? The people are in a kayak and a whale swallows them? No, these people are like, they're whale watching. And there's a whale down there. And the whale literally swallows the entire kayak with the people in it. So they weren't good at it. And then spits them out. I mean, well, well, doesn't want to eat a kayak. But how you will watch it, you don't see the motherfucker does well, I think that's how they were whale watching. Look at this, literally just takes the kayak. Oh, maybe he's annoyed with them. Maybe the maybe the kayaks are fucking up there fishing. Look at that. Bro, that shit just broke your back. California beach. Oh, yeah, easily could snap your legs in half. easily could snap your neck, but they don't eat meat, right? So no. So I mean, just the power alone. How does it know what it's doing? It's not gentle. I mean, hopefully you can you still got hoping to spit you up. Hoping. Yeah, hoping. Oh, is that the same video? Yeah, look at that. That's from a different angle. Fucking insane. Three years ago, then did it really? Yeah. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, that's weird. I'm good on all these 20. That's weird. I'm good on I know it went viral again, which has been happening with a quiet a few videos. So you see all the fish that's there. You see all the fishes in the water flapping around what that's why the birds are there. See all that that splashing shit that's fish. So the whales trying to eat the fish and these cocksuckers in this can they survive? Yeah, you spit them out. Lucky. He wanted the fish. He didn't want to kayak. But they would have been seriously injured. I don't know. Good question. Good question. I don't get it. I don't get these. I don't get these people that need to be life risking. They don't think it's life. I mean, this is this is on the this is in the top like if going down to the bottom of the ocean in a experimental sub is number one. Yeah. This is on that list. This is top 10. Did you see the guy in the kayak that got attacked by a tiger shark? He's in the kayak rowing and you see this tiger shark just just engulf half the side of his was a shark shark watching. No, he was fishing. Okay, well, that fishing in this kayak and all this. Watch this. Look, his foot's in the water too, man. Right? Look at this. Tiger shark. Tiger shark ran me. Holy. Watch this. Look at so his foot. So his foot's in the water, right? That's the paddle is to the left, but his foot was in there too. Look at that thing. Oh, so he was like waving it like this. He thought the shark that it was food. Yeah, shark probably thought it was a seal or some shit. They're not smart. Yeah, bro. I don't get it. I don't get this. This this desire to thrill. Look at this in slow motion. Look, this thing come up. Oh, fuck. Hey, man. Thank God that wasn't inflatable too. Did I hear this is shark shit? Some sharks attacked a boat recently. You know about the dude in Egypt that got eaten. I heard about it. It was one of the bottom of the barrel titles, but I didn't know what the fuck. That was a rough one. This dude is in Egypt and he's off the shore. Netflix crews whole boat exploded after back to back shark attacks in Hawaii. Like something out of Jaws. Oh, my God. I think they were filming it so we'll probably not see it until. Oh, my God. Oh, our planet too. So that would probably be really good. Wow. Yeah, I heard like it's like a threat out of Jaws. So it was shark attack, a shark attack, and then the boat exploded. Well, it's attacking the boat. Yeah, like if it exploded like because the gas then yeah, that's right out of Jaws. But is they saying exploded or are they saying it just fell apart? I think fell apart. I think they said a rubber dingy. Can you scroll back down a little bit? It says Nolan said the crew was only about 328 feet from the shore. So they're able to make it safer to land though barely on land that they patched up the boat and deployed a rubber dingy. But that was attacked by giant trevales, marine fishes that can grow up to six feet long and weigh more than 100 pounds. That attack knocked out the dingy's motor. What the fuck, man? Over there. The behavior of the sharks they encountered was extremely unusual. Nolan told Radio Times they were incredibly hungry. So there might not have been enough natural food. And they were just trying to anything that came across in the water. Wow. I said it was just released. So it should be out. Let me check. Let's go to the Egyptian guy though. First, the Egyptian guy is rough because he's screaming for his dad. He's like yelling Papa while he's getting eaten alive by sharks just like 100 yards offshore. And apparently this area. Now we didn't, did we find out if that's true? Somebody told me that that area that they had dumped sheep carcasses into the ocean in that area. To attract the sharks. I don't think they did it on purpose. I think they just wanted to get rid of the sheep carcasses. Oh okay. And the dad was, that was, the dad was on the shore. Fishing? No, they were just hanging out at a beach. Oh. It's at a resort. Wow. It's horrible. And you have to see it. I want to see it. Let's do it. Oh wait, this is a child? No, it's a young man. Oh okay. I can watch a young man die. It's a rough one. Here it is. Warning graphic content. And it is fucking graphic. So this dude, is that the dude? I think so. That's him before. Oh no. Oh this is sad. Okay, come on. Yeah it's sad. Why that's dude dumb. Where's the video? I don't know. Oh they're not showing the video of the actual attack. Oh they're gonna mummify the shark. What's the purpose of that? That's the video. So here's the dude's out here. The music is from the beach. It's a little dark. Look at that. Oh horrible man. You hear him yelling papa? Oh my god. Oh my god. Look at all the red in the water man. It's so fucking horrible. Oh my god. You see just grab him and take him under. No, I'm good. Oh my god. Oh lord. Oh my god. That's a lot. That's a terrifying way to go. What's worse? That or the sub people? That. That's worse. That's worse. Sub people would be down there for days though. Because the sub people either died instantly or they died falling asleep running out of air. But that right there, there's terror mixed in with that. Oh but that's terror being trapped in the. It's also terror that your loved ones are watching and getting eaten. Yeah but the one in the sub is dying with his son. Oh that's bad too. And it was probably his idea. Yeah he probably took it. I'll take you on an adventure. You're gonna be a real man like your father. Yeah. You're gonna go to the bottom of the ocean like a fucking explorer. Man I don't know. That's tough. What's about it Jamie? I'm reading about the shark attack in Hawaii with the Netflix crew. They were in an area where they were tracking baby albatross chicks and they had an idea to get a good shot of tiger sharks. We're about to feed on them. So they took two smaller inflatable boats out. And that's what got attacked. And that's why they exploded. Oh my god. That's so stupid. It says they crew panicked and then made an emergency landing on the sand. Oh my god. Man I still don't know if there's video of it. It's fine. Yeah sharks are feeding. Get the fuck out of the water. Yeah especially don't go out in a boat that they can destroy. Dude. Yeah. I mean how many times do people have to see like people in shark cages where the shark just slams into the cage and blows into pieces? I don't know man. I mean because look this is my thing. The universe is trying to kill us. Like just the natural mathematics of the universe are deadly to us. You being on land is like one of the handfuls of advantages you have as a human being. Yeah. Don't leave don't leave land. Like that's anything where you got to leave the surface is you're taking unnecessary risks that goes against everything. You know your one advantage is on land. You got all the disadvantages in the water, in space 10,000 feet deep. It's like just stay up just stay on earth. But those surfers the way they describe that feeling of riding that wave out there on the power of the ocean. You know what I've never heard somebody describe what it's like to get eaten by a shark because they never survive. They always did. I don't think that's worth it. Catch I mean but you know what you're right. I don't know what catching the wave is like you know because because people feel the same way they see us doing stand up and they go I could never do that. It's so terrifying. It's like it's pretty easy. It's pretty fun to you right. Yeah but it's like to a surfer that you probably sharks are nothing. You have no idea what it's like. Right. And I could I could understand that feeling. I bet that's that has to be what it's like because they're all kind of peaceful people. It's interesting. There's something about surfing that just brings about like the there's a spiritual connection to the ocean. Oh no they're not all peaceful. Surfers? Well they're violent. A lot of surfers are trash right. Really they're real protective about. But the really good ones the ones that I've met that are really good they're like that's a special mindset. Yeah like the Shane Dorians and the Laird Hamiltons. Yeah they do come on. Yeah all those extremist people. Remember the guy um I know you had him on the guy the the free climbing guy. Oh Alex Honnold. Yeah yeah yeah like people like that they all pretty much calm. Kelly Slater same sort of thing. Yeah. Beast Surfer calm. You think that comes chill dude. Probably like the humility that comes with being in the ocean all the time. I mean if you're literally floating on a piece of styrofoam that's fucking riding a wave in the ocean I mean you have so much humility because like you're completely powerless. All you're doing is using your own balance to try to what what ride the energy of this insane force that's behind you. You can't really think you're awesome because you just no matter how awesome you are as a human being you're nothing compared to the just the power of the thing you ride every day. And you have to be you have to be able to be calm in one of the most terrifying situations. Yeah you gotta keep your shit together when there's a hundred foot wave over you. It can be a surfer that panics. No you gotta be able to hold that. Yeah I feel the same way watching the fighters where I'm like yo how how did you keep it together where you when like you've been you've been in that choke hold for three seconds two more seconds and you out you're gonna go lose consciousness and you're calm you're still working you're still working your hands it's like they're still thinking what most people would panic. Yeah yeah that's I'm impressed by anybody that I'm impressed by any expertise. I'm obsessed with I watch a youtube video of a motherfucker just putting bricks together. Me too. Just you see it like that motherfucker is good. Yeah carpentry. That's 20 years of experience. Yeah yeah I love it. Yeah me too. Yeah expertise. Yeah I love watching people do things with their hands craftsmanship making watches and shit little tiny microscope and they're fucking moving little pieces and gears around. I love shit like that. Just something just somebody that's dedicated their life to something. Yeah even schemas and scammers that's why I like a good I like a good a good a good like bank heist. Mm-hmm you hear the real life stories of like different heists and shit. Yeah some people have outsmarted everybody. That's why um um you mean like when it comes to bank heists that's why I'm interested in this uh sbf thing. What is that? Oh the apparently they just re I just looked at and uh we might have got memed out of the actual headline. The meme's on the twitter space for going that he might get all charges dropped but I think. No but he got five dropped. Thirteen down to eight now and he's still going on trial. What are the uh which ones oh okay which ones they get rid of? I don't know like they could have maybe got over zealous with so many charges they kept throwing things down and now he's done it down to like accurate charges or something. Right good point because I'm sure when they wouldn't go to bring in a person like that they're probably like double and triple down on charges. One article says it's been worded as temporarily suspended charges so. Interesting. That's where I go like that. Man that motherfucker ain't going to prison man. You don't think so? Maybe he'll go to a nice country cup for a little bit. Listen I've never is he a he's a billionaire right? Not anymore. Okay well. But he gave away a lot though. He gave away a lot to the democratic party. But being a bingo I've never seen a billionaire go to prison. Oh what about Bernie Madoff? Okay so let me let me let me um let me it's a caveat the only time I've ever seen someone with that much money go to prison is when they fuck with other rich people's money. That's what this guy did. Bernie Madoff the guy from Enron. Yeah. Was he fucking with rich people? Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah that's a good one. She sentenced 135 months 11 years three months in federal prison for defrauding investors and thoroughness. And she's going to prison out here. She's going to prison in Texas. Is she? Yeah yeah yeah that's not gonna be because there's maybe she probably still gonna go to one of those nice ones. 11 years and she just had a couple of kids. She pumped out a couple of kids before she went in which is crazy. Right imagine getting having babies knowing you're facing prison. I think she's a sociopath. Of course she's a sociopath. And I think people like that would think like if I have a kid maybe they're less likely to lock me up for a long time because they know I'm a mother. And listen y'all might y'all might not want to hear y'all might not want to hear this out but listen every billionaire should have like a couple of hood dudes on staff because there's a certain kind of bullshit that only they can detect. If you you know what I'm saying? Like if you if you'd have had if you'd have had like a uh if you'd have had like a Freddie Gibbs with you when you talked to that bitch he would he would have owned like David Lucas. Right. He would have known right away she was full of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Well a lot of people knew she was full of shit. Well right but not the rich guys because they even people inside the company knew she was full of shit. Yeah she knows how to fool people with money. That's her whole skill. You gotta have somebody around you know they do that in Japan. They got the you know their culture so much like respect and bowing and respect but so they they haven't they have an American like a like a designated American on staff at the big companies and because they know he'll say shit that everybody else won't. So he's around to be like that's bullshit. People are like ah he's American but he's right though but no one no one else would you know what I'm saying? Right. Like I watched the thing on Netflix where um they do they play the black boxes they do like reenactments or like plane crashes from the 80s. And one of the problems back then was that the captain of an airplane was like the captain of a ship like you didn't question him. So half of the crashes were because some lower person wasn't empowered to say something. Do you know that's why they switched Korean airlines they started making them speak English. Right. Well. Because the. Yeah because in Korea there's a very specific way of talking to people that are higher above you or more respectful and then there's boundaries cultural boundaries that are very difficult to transcend. But when you're speaking English they don't have that that sort of same hierarchy doesn't exist in the language. Oh they're right. And so they realize this is from I think it was Malcolm Gladwell's book where they describe how they to get over this problem they started making them speak English. Oh I see because because like. Is that true? Make sure that's. So like in Korean thank you say thank you differently to like a superior than you would to a stranger to a regular person. Yeah you wouldn't question the superior if they said you know we're in this direction. You're like no we're wrong. This is off. It's a lot like that in Japanese companies. So a lot of not all of them but a lot of them have it they have an American for that reason. His books illustration for the example so I don't know that that makes this better but this is what the book said I guess. So at the end of the 90s Korean air had more plane crashes than almost any other airline around the globe. Cockpit miscommunication has been a persistent factor in these accidents for example the Korean air flight 801 crash was attributed to the pilots decision to land despite the junior officer's disagreement evidence of high power distance a culture that denotes a heavily hierarchical society. Gladwell argues that this innate behavior of deep reverence towards elders and superiors highly contributes to cockpit miscommunication especially on planes designed to be flown by two equals. Unsurprisingly it's been found the safest airlines are offered from the countries whose cultures do not value strict hierarchies. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you were like motherfucker we out of fuel. Right. They were like oh she's right but when we land you're fired. Right. You don't talk like that. You know what I mean. Yeah. It's like oh shit. Well it's just the culture is very different. You know Korean culture is very different. Man they respect and they do a lot of things great over there. They barbecue. Oh they make great barbecue. They make some goddamn good barbecue over there man. They're good at kicking. They're good at kicking gaming half of the the East. I know you're not in the East sports but half of the fucking East sports teams are Korean. Really. Like it'll be the London team but half of them Korean. Really. Korean. It's like Korean, Russian. You know the Chinese always have their team but like most of the players on the top teams in the world of all East sports are Korean players. Interesting. Because over there there's not shame involved in the culture of they literally have gaming cafes where like you don't even own the computer you just go in and sign in and play. Look at this guy's getting a massage. The elite open school in Seoul. Many students show up to morning classes sleep deprived after hours of gaming. So he's just out there getting wrecked at night. Yeah. Because they're genuine stars over there. Yeah it's a real career path which is pretty wild. It's crazy. Now what is it what game are they playing? I think that game is League of Legends. Yeah that's League of Legends. Starcraft was the other one they used to play. Yeah I think League had the largest prize for for world champion. What's crazy is the audiences. Massive audiences to see this. Yeah and they have you know the very storylines and all of that. You see about you see the video where the dude dies gaming. He just just fucking conks out and dies. His leaning back people thought he was asleep and he's dead. He's playing. He just gamed till he died. Because it's something there's something about because the bet the best games have they combine a power fantasy with an enjoyable gameplay loop. This is not 2015. This is like real recent. Oh wow. It might actually might not have been real recent. Three days straight. That's a man dies gaming. And that was the story. This was no this was like the guy died in his chair. Like there's a video of him in the chair and he just leans back and his head falls back and it looks like he's sleeping. He's just dead. Yeah that's crazy. Three days is a lot. It might be one of them Instagram things where I don't even know when. The thing is I'm not good if I don't wash my ass. I don't feel clean. My aim is off and everything. You got to take a break. It's not healthy behavior and people have let their children starve to death. But I love it. I like I it's my it's my side past time. The thing I do you know when I'm trying to relax you know like Diablo 4 just came out. That shit took my fucking life. I took three days off and I played it for three days. Oh my god. And I was like okay now I gotta focus back because I'm filming my special soon. I'm filming my special at the mothership in August. Yeah I'm excited. Yeah I'm excited. So I'm like I'm I'm I'm got a lock in on the special but I was like I love this game and I'm just gonna take some days and just enjoy it. It was awesome. Yeah hell yeah. You just slam demons from hell. I haven't seen the graphics in the new Diablo. Oh it's incredible. Let me see Diablo 4. Show me some. Like comics and gaming man. Yeah is either gaming or wrestling. Yeah something. It's always something. It's always something where it's a fantasy. Yeah fantasy shit. A lot of comics in the pro wrestling. Yeah in this in this shit it's like they you're literally you're slaying hordes of demons from hell. You know and depending on how you set up your character you hitting them with lightning bolts. You're hitting them with fireballs. You're chopping them to pieces. Is it overhead perspective? Yeah it's overhead perspective. Yeah. Oh so this is what you're seeing when you're playing? Yeah this is what you're seeing. I think this guy is uh he's uh barbarian. So you don't you don't see a lot of barbarian. Now why don't they make wouldn't it be more exciting to do this as a first player? They did that with uh with uh with Skyrim. Yeah yeah they kind of did it was but but Diablo's kind of a different thing because. Jesus look at all the numbers. What are those numbers being? So the numbers are how much damage you're doing but the different colors mean a different hit. So like the yellow is a critical hit. Um it just means you you have a chance you have a chance whatever you hit you have a chance to do critical damage was like bonus 150 percent. So what'd you just do out of that box? Did he just grab some stuff? Yeah the whole thing is you're killing monsters they're dropping items or you open the chest they're dropping items the items make you stronger will give you different powers and you're you're trying to combine the right items to have to to do bigger and bigger numbers. And the more you play the more items you get so the more power you get. Right the more powerful items you get. So you get addicted. Yep and there's gambling and there's so you're this is ridiculous. Well this is a real real high level guy real deep into the game. I mean he's level 78. What level are you? Um 76. Jesus so you're right up there. Yeah the max level is 100. Wow there's only 4,000 people that have hit level 100 out of those dudes chase are those dudes chasing him or are they fighting with him? They're they're chasing him. Oh wow. Yeah nobody's on his team in this but you can play with you can like uh like I play with a Frank Crankestillo. Mm-hmm. And like sometimes like if he signs on if like if I'm on and he signs on and he sees I'm playing he can just jump right in. Oh and so you guys could team up. Right he can team up we can be on my team. And you talk shit to each other? Yeah or like we or we coordinate for example like like you you can't really see it because he's killing them so fast but like sometimes he hits the monster and they turn purple. Purple means they're vulnerable it means they take more damage but you can you can have other skills that like do better other shit when the monster is vulnerable. So like I'll make everybody vulnerable and Frank has some skill that exploits that. So we kind of team in it you know. Little stuff like that. Sounds like a great way to waste your life. It's such a waste of time yeah. It seems so addictive. But it's it's super addictive but it but it's fun it's also very fun and so you know they they didn't they didn't send me no merch but I would like some merch Diablo people. They're so good at making things like the more you play it the more you get. Well that's what I was telling you is the the the perfect games are the ones where they they have it's a power fantasy. Yeah. In a in a in a fun loop because because basically you know you're playing hours and hours and you're doing the same thing over and over again. You're just killing hordes of monsters. Right. But the reward for that is spaced out just enough where you wanted it because when you level up it goes ding and your guy goes ah and then everything dies everything around you dies. Whenever you level up everything dies. So it's like it's this big event you level up like oh shit now I can go put points into this power because there's a whole skill tree. So you unlock you unlock points to put in the skill tree and it makes it you can change how your skills act and all of this other shit. So it's like the the the options the things to do are so varied and the and the and the loop is fun and you get rewarded at just the right intervals in that loop where you you want to come back from you just one more dungeon one more and then next thing you know 12 hours later next thing you know is hours later. I'm getting anxiety just hearing you talk about it. Yeah but I don't I don't really have that addictive of a person like I can I can stop whenever I want. That's good. Yeah that's good because Duncan didn't Duncan Duncan was gone for long periods of time. The first game like that was was EverQuest. Oh that's what I heard. Yeah. Yeah EverQuest and then WoW kind of took that over but EverQuest originally I never I never got into that because I saw it I seen it ruin people's marriages. Yeah. And they came out with EverQuest 2. I seen that fuck people up. You know World of Warcraft. I said I stayed away from I seen people I seen it fuck people up and Diablo 2 fucked me up and I was like and Diablo 3 was okay I didn't really play that much but this one has the same little something it's just the perfect mix of all those things and you and it makes you it's just like casinos. Casinos know when you come in that's why you know they put they put they have you put you know you don't put money in machines anymore put money on a card and that card is on your account. So when you go sit out of that machine they know oh you haven't played today you know what I mean you put you put your card in that machine and they go they let you you know the four four rolls are random and that fifth one you win a little you know and because legally someone has to win the jackpot every X amount of rolls like they they can go X amount of rolls someone someone has to win so they set the machine up like that and but everything in between it's just a game playing with you you win a little you lose a little you play again you win a lot more than that but not a significant amount and that is enough to hook you now you now you're playing more and more and you win a little win a little win a little but but if you sit there long enough you're gonna be out of money and that's the whole point it's all set up to take your money. Yeah and people voluntarily sign up for it for that reward. The rate the lights flash all that it goes into all that the color of the room the way the room smells the way it's set up the like it's a maze yeah you ever go you go to a casino for the first time it's fucking confusing as fuck yeah it's supposed to be that it's everything set up for you to spend money and feel comfortable doing it and get trapped in there that's why they welcome and give you a couple drinks yeah lower your inhibitions take you take a chance you see the girl at the poker machine that just pissed pissed herself no you ever see that there's a girl sitting apparently people at casinos say it happens all the time people are gambling and they don't want to get up so they just pee yeah that is wild a gambling addiction this lady she's sitting there she looks good too look she's just pissing she's pissing while she's on the phone grand she's probably shit face too but yeah i guess but still you don't know you're pissing on the floor probably does i think people just piss there's the shitting is worse where people walk through grocery stores and they just like shit falls oh yeah oh i've seen that like i went on a marathon yeah i saw one where this guy pulled his pants down in the store and just shot rocket out of his ass so how they shitting on that submarine can you imagine that that's done because you're not flushing that toilet yeah my dude that would be torture for me i'd be like kill me first how much water do they have i mean you might get dehydrated down there too you might run out of water yeah i mean you can't go over any days without water i think three yeah i mean how many no seven i think seven is the max you can go without water fuck you can probably make it like a month without food you can make it longer without food if you're fat if you're real fat yeah but well without water yeah you're done skiing but it's a lot easier to find fresh water i think or i'll say you could like you could even risk it and drink contaminated water in an emergency right i guess it's not just food everywhere i guess there's a i'm looking up updates a uh a retired navy captain just brought up the point about how cold it probably is down there oh jesus because that doesn't probably have tons of insulation oh jesus and where they're at this is the water entirely surrounding the ship is that freezing or slightly below when they exhale their breath condenses there's frost on the inside of the parts of the submarine they're all together trying to get their body heat oh my god and they're running low on oxygen and breathing and and here's the thing even if they find them how do you get it up how do you get it yeah they have to tell it up or something yeah they uh because when we started the podcast you said that how many hours left there's oh there's they're down to their last day they have until like five in the morning right now so like 12 hours they have until five in the morning until they're out of oxygen yeah yeah but that what i'm saying is you have to you have to account for how long it would take to get them to bring them to the top and open the fucking thing so it's like they don't have five they don't have till five in the morning they need to be found and on their way to the top for them to have till five a.m. and what are the strategies is there any article on the strategies they're using i remember looking that up last night i was even contemplating do they even have a machine or device or anything that could go even get them besides a drone right man i don't know that there even is because most so what the fuck are they doing that far are they just trying to find them so they can communicate with them they're trying to find them so they could use the power of the remote controller to bring them to the surface i don't even think they know where they are he's still jesus christ yeah like i think it says that they lost communication like an hour and a half after they depart oh my god so they were they weren't even all the way down then right well right well that well that happened right when they hit the bottom uh the tire voyage is supposed to take two and a half hours the polar prince lost contact with the titan approximately one hour and 45 minutes into the trip triggering desperate search for the now missing sub and the guy remember the reporter said it was lost for five hours when he went last year god so so it happens it has happened what and they were and they didn't add a transponder they didn't well whatever they could at his voyage lasted 10 hours the passengers were given sandwiches and water during that um vessels the compass was acting very weird and the passengers had only about 20 minutes to view the titanic wreckage the compass acted weird yeah bro imagine if there's an alien ship down there that's fucking them bro but if your compass going crazy you need to get the fuck out of there and i don't know instantly i don't know the science of what that means but that's never good can't be good no some crazy magnets are in there yeah or some kind of pulse from the who the fuck knows here's what's so wild about all this shit dojo they went down there to look at the wreckage from screens inside from cameras outside you know what i'm saying yeah they there was one little tiny hole above the toilet for looking out but you can't see anything down there like you have to you know i mean it's like that's not their main thing was to watch and it's like you could have just sent down a drone and watched the screen on the ship you didn't have to be in the water no you're down there for no reason just so you can say you was there just so you can say you was there i'd have just lied about it yeah you don't want to lie about it either about being down there yeah it's just stupid yeah but if you're that if you're it's an alternative to getting on the motherfuckers if you're if i had to choose yeah i would lie about it i have to lie that's no one's getting hurt by that i'll tell you what i'm not doing i'm not getting on i'm not getting on a i'm not getting on a ship that's piloted by a motherfucker that ain't on the ship right the pilot the driver got to take all the risks i'm taking yes and also how about have that ship being able to drive itself too think about this what what did they got to the oh actually we probably do have the technology where your commercial flight can be flown by a pilot that's that never leaves the city they're flying it remotely i bet they could do that now and then when you get and when you break a certain line another pilot at the landing city takes over and they land but would you be comfortable with that no fuck no fuck no get your ass on this plane yeah you've got to be up here with me if you're in charge you gotta be up here with me not only that why wouldn't they have a system where when they lose communication with the sub the sub just rises to the top which has happened before so they've lost communication before and then they had no backup plan for what would happen if it happened again why does this scare me more than anything else this freaks me out so because you're wealthy and they target wealthy people no i'm not i'm not i'm not worried that i would do it oh okay no just the idea of i'm zero desire to do that i'd rather go fishing i don't want whatever i don't i'd rather go play pool i'm not right if i should be able to say zero zero i mean zero yeah not a fucking chance and one of my friends if you were trying to go i would do everything that i could not you someone irresponsible someone crazy bro i don't even play survival video games fuck that no i've survived my whole life you know that you know these games when you start out in the woods all you have is a hatchet they like you got to build a fire and fire shuttle the fuck yeah no no no no i'm here to kill demons yeah fun stuff i'll kill demons with magical weaponry but what is this jam device that they have the first thing to come find them today it's called a victor 6000 it's it can go 20 000 feet which is plenty to get their butt but what's it going to do it they don't look like you can lift anything i'm looking at like this it shows that they send it out from a ship with some sort of toe rope and maybe they keep the toe rope and maybe then they can hook something onto it and tell them both back up but that's a lot of maybes i just said it's a lot of maybes and they have to find them and they have to find it the amount of area you're talking about is so immense this does have some sort of rope i mean honestly knowing that they lost communication almost right when they hit the bottom i'm telling you i think i think it imploded something leaked there was a it was an opening of crack i think they're they died instantly oh god oh do you think they're going to send down people and subs to see the wreckage of the sub oh yeah oh yeah so that'll be the next thing people can go visit the titan this is back when they did it wrong like mount ever yeah there's the billionaire and his son frozen in the titan don't fuck around and here's here's where here's what people comparing it to space but guess what as far as we know it ain't no monsters in space it's monsters all over the bottom of the ocean that's crazy it's and that might have been what happened some big ass thing that they don't see coming hit that motherfucker with its tail a whale just fucked your magnetic shit up flipped you over oh well one of the things that's interesting about these ufo sightings is a lot of them are happening over water and they're saying these things go into the water and they don't make a splash yeah but this is my thing about the ufo sightings thing it's like so it's too many smartphones out here for us to not get some you know some fork at least some 1080p right you know some clear footage that's not blurry or like some clear give me some clear videos out here true but have you ever tried filming a bird in the sky it's very hard true true i saw thing the other day where i was like that i can't explain what i'm looking at you know i mean i wouldn't i don't know if it's because it might have been just been a drone but it just it seemed so huge and it seemed like it was going up so high you know but it like it would have had to have been a like a a commercial drone not a government one and it kept flying it kept flying up and then moving to the side and then floating back down and then flying like i mean way up to the point when i first saw it i thought it was a plane but then it started moving completely backwards and i'm like oh well that's they make some insane drones now and they're really fast have you ever seen the drones where they do them through obstacle course races oh yeah it's wild yeah that's entertaining that's entertaining yeah that's gonna that's gonna be real popular in the future oh for sure because these things are getting better and better have you ever seen that one with that zone that that drone the zone the the drone takes off at insane rates of speed they have this drone and it's hovering it goes watch this i just clicked the video to find like the fastest drone that you can get let me see what it looks like has you got any volume on this you can't even see that motherfucker this is almost 200 miles an hour wow listen to this sound where is it oh there it is god damn that fucker is fast and this this this camera is on the drone this one right yeah look at the shape of it looks like a tic tac whoa oh my god i mean that's not the same it looks like a rocket how crazy that thing can go 200 miles an hour is that the fastest drone what a shitty sound that's wild it sounds like death i have to just put a gun on that thing yeah it's just i mean i typed in fastest drone yeah hans hans just bought another one go to videos fastest drone videos what eight props is faster than that oh my god look at that thing three world's fastest drones let's see yeah show me something stupid oh this is a commercial yeah for these 24 minute flight time wow yeah they're getting very very sophisticated it's pretty cool you know and then how long after that before they're pilotable we can get in one of those things and move around and something like that yeah and then someone else is flying it and then someone slams into you in the sky yeah why are we so fascinated with death because it's inevitable and we're afraid of it so we like to get close to it get a little juice and then go back to life you know it's like that's what those climbers are doing well have you ever really lived if you didn't almost die are you really an adult until you've almost died a couple times you are still an adult but you do not have the same experiences like could i like if i'm in a room full of grown men and i go and i just go everybody tell a story about about the last time you almost died everyone would have a couple you know yeah it's sort of a right i mean not a right to pass it but it's like if you're living life properly it's almost inevitable but then you can push it too far and you're some wild climber dude yeah you're one of these motherfuckers yeah climbing mountains with no with no ropes do you ever seen that uh documentary the alpinist no oh you gotta watch it the alpinist yeah is that is that a tree person no no no no no what is that what is the oh the alps is an arborist arborist yeah alpinist is someone who's climbing insane alpine mountains and this fucking dude was like the one that all the other climbers were like what the fuck like he was just crazy and he at the end of his life was climbing ice is this netflix um i don't know they always were they always weird looking he was free climbing for he's an interesting dude he was an interesting dude i should say just listening to the recordings of him but he became obsessed with all these you know top-notch climbers and he did free solo climbing then after a while he started doing ice climbing so he's climbing with these ice picks and he's making his way up glaciers so he's climbing like stalagmites that are hanging off the side of a cliff he's climbing them in the documentary it's so hard to watch your hands start sweating the entity died on this oh yeah yeah and they found him i mean they know where he is they never even recovered them the glacier just kind of consumed his body but they found where his body is i don't think they recovered him right is that correct i think that happens with a lot of those guys it's like you can't even recover him because the recover him you would have to risk everybody's life to go recover a dead body but man they'd be living though i guess they'd be living i think a lot of those guys there's something wrong with them and that's what the way they feel things i think regular life is just flat and boring and the only way they feel is to do something insanely risky i slightly disagree i i think some people are just born in the wrong time you know like if this were like if we if we were already at the point we could explore space these things would be the starship captains right they it's like they were the guys that would get on a ship and try to map the globe and you know like it was beneficial it's just now we we're so comfortable it's like they have to go find and seek out things but like yeah their kind of person is necessary explorers yeah explorers people that would take the chances just for the thrill and all that we do need them we just don't need them right this second yeah those are those people that would just get in boats and try to find new land back in the day yeah those are the people you pay to make the first hundred trips in the title to make sure it's safe imagine the people that made it to the hawaiian islands in little boats that they made yeah i mean they came from the polynesian islands and they made their way across the fucking ocean to hawaii yeah they were like oh we hit the jackpot oh my god they hit the jackpot yeah but they did that shit thousands of years ago that's what's crazy yeah what's some ballsy ass people out there balls yes people fucking yeah real find out an island in the middle of the ocean there's a bunch of cool ass people living on it yeah and the thing is you you when you take off you don't know where you're going right and how you'll survive when you get there see talk about like people that like are in touch with nature people that live in hawaii like you're you're like very vulnerable out there isolated yeah any other nature people fascinate me yeah we were like at home out in the wilderness yeah yeah because they because they're right you know the doomsday prepping people they're right they're just not right right now right exactly but like it's coming to an end at some point it might not even be why they're alive but but you know those gonna be the people you're looking for you ever you watch last of us yes it's like remember the old the old gay man with the shelf is like yeah those if the apocalypse come they're gonna be sitting pretty yeah yeah the rest of us gonna be like you know wi-fi yeah but then those people go after those people oh we weren't prepared they try to find the people that aren't prepared what's interesting is preppers a lot of times get lumped into terrorists they get labeled like there's uh this guy mike glover who's been on my show who runs this company fieldcraft survival and he teaches preparedness for all kinds of different things but they had him labeled they had him on the list like an extremist list but imagine because he's just telling people like if society collapses like he's a special operation soldier well there's probably some crossover between between the two communities you know you probably don't show it because because you know it's already so few of you i would imagine if you're like somebody walked up i was like hey fucking john is in the clan he's like but just don't just don't bring up race around john you know what i mean like he's he's one of our best preppers i don't think they're talking about that i think they're talking about people that want to overthrow the government oh like okay so i can just answer it's like people that want people that want the society collapse are mixed in with the people that are preparing just for if it does yeah right the worry is that well from the preppers perspective they the people that are into that would say like i don't trust the government not trusting me because what they don't trust me is that if the shit goes down they go full totalitarian they know we're armed to the tits and they don't like it plus we have food we have water we we can fucking we can huddle down and fight them off that's what they think i would imagine and just just espousing that puts you on a watch list yeah or even if it was like zombie shit or some or some disease or like bro you know you know the um and i might just be talking my ass correct me if i'm wrong please jimmy but the you know the premise of last of us was that that one fungus that cordyceps it couldn't infect humans right and then it did right and now it has in real life has it really i just read this like a couple a couple weeks ago am i fucking am i wrong jimmy it has infected a human now really yeah now obviously i don't know if it can mind control of a human because you probably die before it could take over your whole mind because our minds are way bigger than you know bugs but there's things to take over our minds anyway there's toxoplasmosis which you guys oh yeah you might have that well there was a pussy plant out there well you from your wild cat you probably have it you probably have toxo oh for sure just from being exposed to cats pc yeah pc yeah yeah that bitch yeah she rubs her butt all on everything not only that she's out there with rats and all sorts of things she knows what she's killing and i think it makes you love them right it well what it does with rats is it makes them sexually attracted the smell of cat urine okay they literally lose their ability to be afraid of cats and then they get hard like thinking about cat piss so they get aroused so they literally seek out the cats and then the cats kill them and eat them and toxoplasmosis actually multiplies inside a cat's gut could cordyceps fungi infect humans cordyceps uh opeo cordyceps are types of fungi that typically affect insects fictional works have explored cordyceps infections in humans but this fungus is not likely to evolve to cause infection in humans in the near future however cases of fungal infection may be increasing with climate change this is uh recently speak out of my ass uh-oh misinformation no worries it happens hold on i know i'm not tripping though let me see what i see you know what scares me is rabies oh rabies is wild you hear about like the accounts of like settlers trying to make their way across the country that encountered animals with rabies and the way they died rabies is wild because it infects animals it makes them want to bite you to to give you rabies and every time every time i hear somebody tell me they got bit by a wild animal and they didn't go to the hospital oh my god are you crazy you're out of your fucking mind because once you start showing symptoms of rabies yeah you already did you don't have much time like you i think you have to get to the hospital and get treatment within 24 hours i think it's pretty close yeah you can't rest on it yeah i know a dude um that was telling me a story about someone who got nicked by a bat like there was bats under a bridge and the bat you know they're flying they're offline and he got nicked on his hand he died of fucking rabies just a nick yeah see if you can find that guy gets nicked from a bat dies of rabies yeah like nicked his hand i think and he's like oh what the fuck is that it's not nothing of it you know thing just flew by maybe didn't even feel it you know maybe didn't even notice you know there's a bunch of bats around you like jesus oh man that's such a yeah that's another infected bat ran into the hand of bc man who later died from rabies suffering a small puncture rune and rare daylight encounter the spring wow damn he's 21 years old crazy man crazy and he didn't go to the hospital i don't know i said he developed symptoms of rabies six weeks later yeah bro you gotta get because once the symptoms kick in you dead you can't nothing you can do you got to get to that if you get bit by a wild animal you got to go to the hospital that night immediately not crazy like yeah i would i would lie at the hospital because if you tell them you're having chest pains they'll see you right away imagine you're feeling like shit and you have to think back to six weeks ago where a bat like grazed you i'm having chest pains i got bit by a bat checking me out for everything yeah yeah oh yeah because they do you know they do triage at most emergency rooms meaning they don't see you in the order you came in they see you in what they think is the most serious right so you got to say something's really wrong yeah unless you're bleeding unless you're bleeding out or you're having chest pains it's not serious so they're gonna you might be sitting in there for four five six seven hours you got a fake stroke you just gotta say you're having chest pains just getting dizzy i'm blocking out like you know i wouldn't do that like if i thought something serious was wrong i would i would lie about having chest pains so i have no shame in my game yeah that's a good move yeah you got to get in there especially if you think it might be rabies i straight Fred Sanford in there i'm coming home right everybody forgot about that yeah that's a great show man because i did it before i went to the emergency room when i was having chest pains and uh i remember the the it was it was on the fourth of july and i remember the the dude taking my vitals and stuff he was like how old are you i was like 40 he was like and just walked away yeah he was like it was like i was the only person in there they saw me right away he laughed he laughed that you were having a heart attack at 40 yeah he laughed what a piece of shit i know right because he was like wow he took my vitals was like what's wrong i was like well chest pains he was like for real i was like yep he was like all right walked off wow i know the doctor was pissed when i told him that but he was like it's just unlikely that there's anything wrong it turned out to just be gas it's real bad gas oh my god dude how bad's your gas that particular time it was just real bad yes you went to the doctor for gas yeah yeah like it hurt real bad wow like you were really thinking you're having a heart attack oh yeah well the thing is the the via has like a telenurse so you if you call the nurse and say your symptoms they'll tell you what you need to do whether you're in the hospital they'll make an appointment for you or whatever but if you say you're having chest pains they're gonna make you go to the hospital no matter what the fuck is going on so they're like that's not the risk it yeah so it probably wasn't the type of pain that that would be signal a heart attack but it was like i didn't she didn't know that and i didn't know how to describe it to her better so right just go just in case you don't want to be going to the emergency room just in case but i would if i got bit by an animal yeah for sure you know so yeah you got to be careful you can't fuck around you don't want to die and wish you had gone right chest pain or animal attacks it's a must go yeah yeah no matter what's going to cost you going to debt just don't pay it you know i'd rather be alive and severe debt than than dead because i didn't go to the doctor oh yeah 100 yeah medical bills are fucking crazy it's it's kind of it's kind of insane yeah yeah it's very very very very much insane i didn't really understand until the pandemic i didn't i never looked into the health care system in terms of like how many hospitals are private most of them yeah they're businesses yeah and then the public ones are dangerous yeah you know everyone in this everyone in every city they could tell you the hospital that you don't want to go to you know well my mom she's gonna probably be mad me talking about this my mom had a heart attack recently and like you know within the last year and she drove herself to the hospital well because because she lives in dc but it's right there on the border with with pg county maryland and so it was basically it was because she she knew if she called 911 they would take her to the bad hospital so she drove herself to the hospital so she could oh my god yeah it's like that out here god the public hospital is fucking trash i saw a video of a kid who severe is one of the worst fractures of an ankle i've ever seen and he's in the passenger seat being driven to the hospital it is uh it's not in the passenger seat of what uh his friend's car like yeah that's probably faster than taking someone yeah but he's just i mean i don't know what else you do obviously but do you get leeway if you're dropping somebody to the hospital like like say you're speeding or something and they pull you over if the cops are listening to you said my friend's got a broken ankle the cops will probably give you a police escort yeah they're probably a broken ankle meaning that if it sounds pretty bad like bone through the skin and shit blood everywhere but is there some kind of signal you can give where like i'm not slowing down i can't stop never listen because they have to follow you anyway just to make sure it's true otherwise you're just a psycho just speeding around right saying you're pregnant so you got beaten to the hospital i'm giving birth sir excuse me oh yeah what happens if a cop pulls someone over and they said i'm giving birth now and it's a guy i've seen you have to let it slide a cop a cop let one of my cousins get away with just pissing on the side of the road oh like when he because he pulled him up like why you speak he's like i gotta piss so bad he got in the car and ran over and he let him piss him like you know sometimes you gotta go yeah yeah we've all been there you see this one some florida there's a oh a deputy pulled another deputy i thought he just a stolen car but it was not he was just saying i'm on my way to work he's like well why are you going so he's like 85 and a 45 he just like walks off yeah because i because i think technically because cops can cops don't have follow the same traffic code but i think if you're not on shift you can't just just because you're in a cop car you can't right right you have to be going to like a scene or you just have to be on patrol and yeah but you're still not allowed to speed like you're not supposed to speed unless you're chasing someone or if you're going to a scene of a crime interesting yeah i got fired for that but i gotta wrap this up brian we got in a we got a show in an hour and a half no two hours yeah yeah we got several shows yeah yeah let's go living life we're having fun yeah man thanks for having me on my pleasure don't forget to follow the podcast bs with brian simpson bs comedian on instagram and on twitter in denver and new york in july and uh filming at the mothership in august yeah oh wait a minute also one thing i got a plug we're doing a fundraising show at the mothership week after july 4th for the how good is the mcvader