The Time Annie Lederman Joined a Fake Modeling Agency | Joe Rogan

Okay, from 2009, I would say 2009 was maybe when they started having... This one. Okay, wait. I have to remember where I was in life. I just moved to New York. People were wearing... I don't know, I had lived in Santa Fe and I was drinking a lot, so I definitely had. I quit drinking in 2009. I still have never been to Santa Fe. I start comedy then. Santa Fe is supposed to be a weird place. That's where I'm at, Tate Fletcher. K-Man coffee. I met Tate in Santa Fe. He used to come in with a bunch of sober dudes after meeting. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but whatever. He's pretty open about that. But I mean, it was the truth. They were so annoying. I was like a drunk. I was wasted at this cowboy bar to wear a cowboy outfit. You have to? You have to. That's your uniform. Really? Being a waitress is not humiliating enough. You also have to dress. You just have a John Deere hat on. No, you had to wear a cowboy hat and you had to have a shirt that had yolks on it. Oh, if you worked there. If you worked there. Not when you went in. Yeah, that would be crazy. That would be crazy. But so Tate would come in with a bunch of people and they just wouldn't order alcohol. I mean, it was just like low sales, high maintenance. I was like, who is this fucking guy? He's so big and ridiculous. And then I was talking to him. I hadn't quit drinking. I didn't quit drinking until I moved out of Santa Fe, but I told him I want to do comedy and he made them turn the karaoke night into a comedy show for me. Really? Yeah. That's the first time you ever went up? Yeah. Wow. Did you have things prepared? No kidding. Yeah. And then, um, yeah. And then, and then I moved to New York to do comedy and I was, I crashed my motor. I had a little scooter, a Yama Azuma and I crashed it cause I would drive drunk all the time. It was my happy place. Like to this day, it really was honestly that feeling of like driving wasted on a scooter was the wind blowing through air cause you're not wearing a helmet. The thing about scooters is you don't really think you can kill anybody else. So it's not that bad to drive drunk. Yeah, but you can. You can get in the way of someone else who can do anything. I fucked myself up so bad. I woke up just had blacked out completely. My face was split open. I had road rash all over my tits. This was Father's Day 2008. You don't remember falling? I don't didn't all. I remembered. I just remembered like little pieces. I remembered that someone helped me. I woke up. I was living at my friend's house. I woke up at the house. He was staying at his girlfriend's house. So I was there alone, but my chin was split open. I'd been wearing a dress and it looked like I, my throat had been slit. Like there was just blood all the way down it. Road rash all over my tits, all over this side of my arms, my knees. Like I just was fucked up. Just face planted. Just face split open. I just, I went, I peeled out and like just went chin first and everything. And then I remembered that someone who didn't, a girl that didn't like me had helped me. That's all I could remember. It was someone who usually hated me, helped me. Wow. And then so I went out, I went to the hospital. I called my roommate. He came back. I went to the hospital. They, I got nine stitches and I was still wasted. I was still so hammered. And the doctor kept going, were you drinking? And I kept going just between us. He's like, yeah. I went, nope. I'm not going to fucking jail, you motherfucker. I was like, no, you just crashed my scooter. It's crazy. He didn't know that I didn't wake up to drink through the pain. So so then I got the stitches and I was friends with all the cops in Santa Fe because I was an alcoholic. So that's a really good plan. You got to befriend them so they don't arrest you. And they had told me if they had caught me, because I ended up finding my scooter on the side of the road, my friend drove me around. So I found out where I had peeled out and there was like a bunch of loose gravel. So I just peeled out on the gravel. And the cops said that they would have arrested me for an aggregate aggravated DUI because I hurt myself. I had injured myself. That's what an aggravated DUI. That's what they said back then. I mean, I was still wasted when they said that. It's worse. If you hurt yourself, you would see it. Yeah. Because I had to go to the hospital and stuff. You would think you got a little punishment in there. Yeah. Well, so then I didn't learn the lesson. I went out drinking that night with the stitches in my face. And I had my line was I would carry Neosporin around and ask guys if they wanted to rub Neosporin on my titties. Like I almost lost a nipple. I mean, it got so close. Yeah. I looked crazy, but I was a drunk. So I was like, Woo fun girl. They used to call me fun girl, Annie behind my back. And I thought they were, I thought it was like a cool, they're making fun of me. So anyway, uh, so then I went out that night and I saw this guy with a puppy and I started playing with the puppy and I was like, Oh, your puppy's so cute. And he goes, do not remember me. And I'm like, I've never met you before. And he goes, last night I helped you. You crashed your scooter. And I was like, Oh fuck. And he's like, I ride a motorcycle. So I didn't want to call the cops or anything because I know you would have gotten in trouble. And I was like, who helped me? And he's like some girl. So then my friend called me. He's like, my boss told me. So it was my friend's boss from this hotel that I used to get wasted at. He was the bartender. So she hated me because I would just go get hammered at their nice establishment. Did you look back on those days with any fondness? Cause you're sober now. You're all clean. Yeah. I mean, I think I have a wealth of stories. I was a juvenile delinquent and I had so many childhood traumas and abuses and weird things that happened. I was running for my life in Jersey city when I was 15 from like a fake modeling agent who was like a six foot eight drag queen named mahogany running for my life. This is a long, good story. I just have a lot of stories. This is not a story you can brush over. What happened? You were 15? So I was, I had gone to mahogany. So I had gone to John Robert Powers modeling school, one of those like fake modeling schools. Well you pay like 200 bucks and they make like a compilation headshot. Yeah. You like go, they give you classes in modeling. Like that's a thing. It's like, you either like are weirdly weird looking alien hot and tall and skinny or not. Yeah. Or you're not. I mean, I maybe could have done commercials or something. I was cute, but I, I, I also had very low self esteem. It was just such a weird. It was such a weird thing to be doing. So and I had been a tomboy up until that point. So we go, I go to this modeling thing and then we went to paid more money to go to like a modeling convention. And then they had actual modeling agencies and then they had just random people that I guess paid to be there. So mahogany was one of them and my mom's like super liberal. And so she likes anything that's like a little on the fringe that she could brag about at her book club or whatever. But that sounds like I'm angry. I'm not angry. I've forgiven my mother, but so they ended up, they're like, we want to take your daughter for two weeks and we'll send her out on auditions and stuff over spring break. And we have this nice place in Jersey. Yeah. When you were 15, your mom let mahogany take you for two weeks. Oh, there's so many more stories, Joe. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. No, there was my mother did not have anything bad happen to her when she was growing up. She was adopted by a very nice family and she went to a nice boarding school and stuff and nothing happened to her. Did she read the newspaper? She didn't read the newspaper. I don't think much. So she, it just, she didn't, she wasn't aware. So anyway, so then, okay, so I was, I went to this place in Jersey city and Jersey city, I don't know how it is now, but it was fucking crazy back then. It's still fucking crazy. It was fucking crazy. So we were in this one little condo and it was mahogany. And then there was like some other people that were there. None of us were really that, I mean, I probably was like the hottest, but I was pretty, I mean, I don't know. I think I was cute. I don't think I was like a, I don't think I was a model and I don't think that was my future. Maybe I could have done something, but the only person that I had really bonded with was this 23 year old guy, Chris, who was this black guy from, I don't know where he was. But he was really cool. He was really nice. And he was a little creepy. Like he would say things like if I was your age, but he never was trying to fuck me or anything, but he kind of was protecting me. And at some point mahogany got mad and there was, it was fake. Like I just, he would make me go buy him weed on the corner and stuff. And just a fake thing. My parents paid like $1,500 to send me to this thing. And he would, I think he sent me out for it to be a, I had to go into New York by myself on the train. I had 15 wearing the sluttiest clothes ever to this thing to, and then he would tell me pretend you're lying. Say you're 21 to be an extra on like sex in the city and stuff. It just wasn't real. There was nothing real about it. It was a total scam. So I was starting to catch on to that. And I was supposed to be there for maybe 10 days, I think. These next door neighbors shorty, this little Puerto Rican lady, I don't know. She was a boy. I smoked a bunch of there. But so this guy, Chris was kind of protecting me and he would go into the city with me. And then all of a sudden Mahogany didn't like how close we were. So he separated us and he said, you can't see each other anymore. And I was like, well, I don't feel safe if I can't talk to this guy. I just would rather go home. I want to call my parents. I don't think this is real. This seems like bullshit and a scam. And he was like, you can't talk to your parents. And he locked the door and took the phone away from me. So I packed all my shit up and I threw it out the window and I yelled down to shorty. I was like, yo, I'm going to run. So grab my shit. And then one of the other kids that was staying at the modeling place knew the situation. So he went down and bumped into the door, unlocked it without him noticing and distracted him. And I just jetted out of the fucking house and he started chasing me. I was like screaming. I was like, call the cops. Help me. Help me. And I was wearing a tube top. My like 15 year old titties, I had nipple rings were like hanging. I mean, I looked like a prostitute. The cops ended up coming and they thought I was a prostitute. Mahogany got me at one point. I was hiding under cars for my life. Like I thought I was going to get killed. I was like screaming. People were just watering their plants. Like what the fuck? You were hiding under cars? Yeah, because he was chasing me. So I was trying to hide and he finally got me. He was like, get in the house. Like you're ruining my scam pretty much. And then he scratched my arm, but that's all. And then the cops came and arrested both of us. Thought he was my pimp. Thought I was a prostitute. I come from like a, like a upper middle class family. What did your mom say when you came home? Well they came to the cops and then the cops told them that they should arrest my parents. Yeah. They're like, we should. And I think they just were in denial about it or whatever. They should arrest them for a day at least. Yeah, they didn't. And then more stuff happened after that. What? They made more mistakes? Yeah. But it's okay. We all make mistakes. I love my family. They're good now. That's cool. But I also look at all of these things. No, I really like have had to do a lot of work on it because. To forgive them? Yeah, because, well, I blame myself for all of it, for most of it, which was my defense mechanism. I had some stuff happen with a teacher in high school too. Right after that, actually it was about six months after that happened. And you know. Is this a therapy session? I don't want to do a therapy session. I don't want to do that. But anyway, you had asked me about, am I happy about these things? And so the point that I'm coming to. But the point that I'm coming to is I am happy with them. I'm so happy with like where my life is now that I can't be mad about any of these other things. Do you know what I mean? Right. And now they're funny because I didn't get hurt. That's what I'm saying. Like looking back on the wild. Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. Yeah, there's some. I did crazy shit. There's some romance to it if you survive. I flashed a chain gang once on my motor scooter and then it didn't start and I had to like put my shirt down and keep walking. Like it's hilarious. I did crazy shit and I came out like genuinely. I feel good. You know, I'm happy with my life.