The Story Behind Kim Jong--il Getting 5 Hole-In-Ones in a Single Round of Golf

And so then the state becomes your daddy, and then the state decides that, you know, like in the case of North Korea, that its daddy is super powerful and plays golf better than anybody that's ever lived. You ever read the account of Kim Jong-un playing golf? No, but I know him and Dennis Rodman are boys. Oh, what's that? I read something about it that it might be just a misinterpretation that got way blown out of proportion. Sounds like Jamie works for the state. No, there's a way to keep score where you're not writing down the actual number you got, you're just writing down relative to par. He had 11 holes in one, bro. That's not how, that's just, someone read the score wrong and it got reported that way is how I read this interpretation. But that was the interpretation of the glowing media coverage in the North Korean news, wasn't it? I'd read through this in like a golf magazine, you know, expose. Golf magazine's getting paid off. It just made more sense when it was written that way, is all. He got a score way more accurately than he should have, like 120 or something like that. I don't know what that means since I don't play golf, but... His holes in one would have been one over rather than an actual one. That's how they were writing the score down. That's all I'm trying to say. So what was that, the depiction that we read? So then someone saw that scorecard and was like, holy shit, what? They don't understand there's different golf... But that wasn't written by the North Korean news? I'll pull up the article I read, I'm just telling you. Seems like pretty good. I wanted to do a sketch called North Korean Sports Center and it's just Kim Jong-un, like beating, he's winning the finals in the World Cup and he's just this, he's elbow dunking on LeBron. Great leader wins again. Yeah. I had Yonmi Park on the podcast, a woman who escaped North Korea. You want to talk about a lady who just doesn't want to hear any bullshit. When you escape North Korea and you make it into China as a sex slave when you're 13, you have no tolerance for bullshit. None. No tolerance for bullshit. It's just, what the fuck, man? The fact that that is going on right now and that in 2022, while you and I are sitting here drinking whiskey and talking shit, there's people that are slaves in Korea. And in North Korea, they can't get out. They're trapped and they're barely alive. They barely survive in terms of their ability to just have enough food to live. And they live in concentration camps and they work for the state. You live in slave camps and you might even not have ever done anything. You might be born in that slave camp. She was explaining like how if one generation, say if your grandfather does something that's bad against the state, they will curse multiple generations. So you'll be imprisoned and your children be imprisoned and their children be imprisoned before their children get released. That's fucked. You're on the hook for previous generations. What the fuck, man? Yeah, you'll live the rest of your life in jail because your grandfather was an asshole. You're not even born yet and you're already fucked. What did you pull up, Jamie? So this reporter went to the golf course where this happened and he explains in here how it went from an innocent scorekeeping mistake and got. Before I tell you what I know, I should tell you how I came to know it. The details were relayed to me five years ago during my own travels in North Korea where I turned up to compete in a tournament. Billed as the national championship, the North Korean Open is more curiosity than cutthroat contest, which is only fitting given that it's held in Pyongyang golf course, the same layout where the deer leader allegedly shot his 34. The fields in the annual handicapped event are fairly small. Most of golfers struggle to break 90. So it goes on and explains how he talked to some people there. They explained to him that there was a scorekeeping shorthand that is used there and then someone who ever found that in the North Korean state news most likely didn't know that and then ran with the. Okay, so it says unfamiliar with the scorekeeping shorthand. The North Korean state news agency covering the outing had read the five ones on Kim's card as holes in one. Forget the fact that Kim, a ranked beginner, probably never sniffed bogey all day. If you were keeping score for a brutal autocrat, would you dare tell him he'd made nothing but snowman. I don't know what you fucking dorks. On your little word, Jargo. I don't want to hear it. Check your mouth. His alleged aces. Okay. Maybe that's all. So I would like to pretend that I didn't read that. All right. Go with the original propaganda piece because I think it was awesome that they said he scored 15 holes in one. Or whatever. You're not a golf guy. No, I would be a golf guy though. I would definitely look at Tony Hinchcliffe and Jamie and Ron White play. It'd be fun to play. Yeah. I think what I'm going to do one day is when Jamie and Tony finally play, I'm going to film it on the iPhone and just get super baked and just talk shit to them. What if you're amazing? I got the golf course. You're like Happy Gilmore. No, I'm not going to play. No, you got to play. No, if I played with them, I would hold them back. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.