The NYPD's Secret Surveillance Fund

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Joey Diaz

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Joey Diaz is a stand-up comic, writer, and author. He's the host of the podcast "Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz," co-host of "The Check-In" with Lee Syatt, and author of "Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage." www.joeydiaz.net

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#1778 - Joey Diaz

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2 years ago

Transcript

The whole thing about like tracking you on your phone that's normal now, we just normalize getting tracked everywhere. Allow location? Okay. Allow location, yeah. Tell me where I am. But you know what the good thing is? I'm not doing nothing bad. Yeah, that's the good thing. Sort of like I'm not stabbing somebody or I got an alibi, you know. This is like the slippery slope. You know, that's what people were worried about when all that Edward Snowden shit came out, that the government can just track you. But now everybody just gives it up to apps. What are you going to do? You know, and they can listen to everything you say. Well, how many of your fucking, isn't it been proven, has it been proven that your phone is actually listening to you? Yes. Right? Can we say that or are we crazy? That's tough. I would have to say, yeah, it probably is. I definitely think they could turn your microphone on and they can make your phone listen to you. I think that's a fact. I heard a fucked up story and I'll drop it on you here. I have a friend, not a friend, I have an acquaintance that's going to go to jail because of what they said on Alexa. Oh, no. So do not believe nothing. I wouldn't put a fucking Alexa in my house if you paid me. When I walk into people's houses and I say, Alexa, I make a mental note to shut the fuck up. Only speak when you know those people. Alexa, play Led Zeppelin. Alexa, I fucking hate you. I don't say nothing to Alexa. I will never talk to fucking Alexa. But they're going to go to jail because something happened in their house, like a fight. And they actually called the cops through Alexa. Oh, my God. Oh, so you just want to avoid all this shit. If you have an Alexa in your house, take it out right now. You could play the music by yourself, you dumb fucks. Now you got people listening. You got to listen. You got to assume that no matter what you do, they're listening to you. I don't give a fuck about laws or anything. We can't listen after 30 seconds if you're not talking about a criminal enterprise. Listen, if you've got a cell phone, they could tap into you and they know where you are. It's funny, when I go to Jiu-Jitsu, you have to log in there. They have a computer. You have to make a reservation. That's why I like about Hollis. You can make like go to Zen app and just fucking go, I want to go to Wednesday class and they'll lock a space in you. I think they started because of COVID, but now they don't give a fuck. But when you go there, you have to tap in. I'm so excited to tap in. I was going 20 years ago, I wouldn't tap into that motherfucker because I wouldn't want nobody to know where I was. Now I'm an old man. I don't give a fuck if you know where I am. Yeah, I came here. Yeah, my worry about all that stuff is like who has access to your data? Who can track you? Did you see this come out a couple weeks ago? NYPD had a secret fund for surveillance tools. Documents revealed the police bought facial recognition software, vans equipped with X-ray machines, and Stingray cell site simulators with no public oversight. Yikes. There's a story within the last couple of weeks. I'm trying to remember exactly what happened, but they tracked whoever it was and caught them using license plate camera things and followed them around the city and found their location. It was when Michael K. Williams died. That's how they tracked where he bought. They have on video him buying the fentanyl. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So is that good? Because you can catch crimes. They didn't stop. They didn't, you know, it didn't stop. They didn't stop the crime from happening, but they've caught who did it. And I don't know what does. I don't think that helps anything really. It doesn't, right? It gives a lot of power to people that are working as police officers. You know, if you could just like zoom in on people like that, listening to their cell phone conversations, like they're just people. That's part of the problem, right? On the other hand, it's like you want them to be able to catch people when someone's done something fucked up. So where do you draw the line? We have a constitution that they wrote. Yeah. And it's still fucking illegal. It's like an entrapment. I mean, like if they catch someone planting a car bomb somewhere, this is a good, for instance, and you can show on a video somehow or another the people that planted the car bomb and that car bomb blows up and a bunch of people die. Shouldn't you be able to find out who planted that fucking car bomb? That's the slippery part. That's a slippery part. And don't tell me they're not doing that already. I think they are. They go right to a satellite and see what images they shot on that block, on that area. They're already doing that. You're up to assume. You have to assume they're doing that. They're already doing that. Yeah. I think, and what are the satellite capabilities like now? It must be incredible. It must be amazing. Right? That's how Google Earth started. Yeah. Yeah. With satellite images. In fact, how crazy is this? How crazy is this? That burglars aren't even casing joints out anymore. They just go on Google Earth. They see what cars you park outside. Really? They case your joint now from fucking... Does Google Earth update regularly? Does it? Really? I mean, it's not like today, like every day. Not today. But like some, yeah. And there's probably ways to get access to that. Like how many times a month? At least maybe once a month in certain areas. And they have something that is kind of live because they have caught. You know, burglar's doing it. Carthieb's doing it. I feel like we're in an episode of Black Mirror, but we just don't know it yet. No. You know? It feels like an episode of Black Mirror. Because these guys were getting an order for a Black Mercedes. They'd go on the computer. They'd find one. They'd go to look. I mean, it was all tracked on a fucking computer. It never even went by the house before. This was all done right there. I watched an episode of Black Mirror the other day. I haven't seen that show in a while. You ever watch that on Netflix? No. It's all about like dystopian future shit. And the one was about the social credit system. Did you see that one? Oh my God, that was nuts. It was all about like what could go wrong with us. You know, if we get too wrapped up in grading each other on numbers. That one. Remember that? That was a nutty one. It was a real weird one. But it's like I kind of feel like that's a real possibility for people. That could be a thing we really do one day. Have a score. Everyone get a number. People would be obsessed by their score. Their social score. Like seeing that in that show, I was like yikes. You could kind of convince people to go along with that. Yeah, that one. The thing that freaked me out about it was it was a fun show. Fun episode. But you could kind of get people to go along with something like that. I don't think it would be that hard. I think people would give in to some sort of a score system like that. That's a dangerous thing, Joey Diaz. That's a dangerous thing. That's a dangerous thing. Because then you're putting so much thought into like a number. People get obsessed with numbers. They get real weird when it comes to numbers. If you give people a number like you're five stars, Joey. You're like oh, I'm five stars. Yeah, but Mike's seven stars. You're like oh, we get obsessed. I want to be seven stars. What do I have to do? What do I have to do to get the same rating that Mike got? And we would want that. You meet somebody, after like a year or two we would get used to it. You'd meet somebody, you know, like I can't hang out with this guy. He's a four. You know, I mean, it's just like he brings my credit down when I'm around him. I can't do him bringing a three to my house. Exactly. What the fuck is wrong with you? That's what this episode is. No sevens a lot. All right. Fucking bringing a two to my house. I'm telling you, that could be worrisome.