Joe Rogan | Why It's Creepy For Guys to Have RealDoll's w/Whitney Cummings

So now that I have a robot, I have to fucking know. Right. I have to learn so much about her. She's just trying to give you side eye again. I know. That's what's weird is that she's kind of autonomous. She kind of moves around whenever she wants. Yeah, and I mean, you can ask her questions. How do I ask her, though? You have to press this little green button and you just say... How do you feel about people? How do you feel about people? She's not talking. Are you seeing another girl? Oh, that's right. We programmed her to be jealous. We put her in jealous mode. That's right. That's what's interesting. She has ten different personality traits you can choose from, and I decided to go with sexual, jealous. Yeah, why did you want that? Just to see how creepy she can get. Oh, that's right. And is that something, guys... Because I've been looking at these personality traits, and they must have picked these for a reason. I was going to say, I'm an impression that you guys did not want jealous. Oh, yeah. Some guys want jealous for sure, especially from a robot that can't walk. Yeah, exactly. If your robot's not jealous, you should get your money back. Well, no, the idea is that she... You're more powerful than she is. Yeah. But she needs you. She's worried. Where are you going? Yeah. Who is she? Yeah. Who's calling you? Yeah. There is something hot about that if you can turn her off whenever you want. Wow. Some guys like that. Some guys like girls that want to fight. Oof. Not me. Not me either. No. Some guys are into that, though. They want drama in their life. It's like just an adrenaline thing, or just feeling important. It's also a distraction. Usually they're losers, and their life is a mess. And so to have someone who wants to provide drama in their life all the time... Mm-hmm. And it's also a learned pattern that they get if their parents fought a lot. That's right. They've seen it. Yeah. That's all they know. Yeah. That's what they think a relationship is. Yeah. There's a lot of that. But I did get really into this, because I do feel like sex dolls do get a little bit of a bad name. I feel like guys that have doll... It's just... Girls have dolls. And that's... To me, it's way creepier that women collect dolls that they don't fuck. Have you ever heard of these women that collect baby dolls? Like girl dolls? Creepier than a guy fucking a robot thing? I think so. It's jerking off just with a mannequin. Well, that's something weird about a fleshlight. Like a fleshlight is somehow or another creepier than jerking off. And how's it... Totally, because it's an appendage. I think the creepiest part of the fleshlight is more that you have to clean it after. Clean it. I have to think about... Well, guess what? Here's the creepiest part. You don't have to clean it. Yes, you do, guys. Don't listen to Joe. Listen to him about everything but that. Don't mold up your dickhole. Yeah, don't do that. That'll go septic real fast. I'm not giving advice, but I am saying there's a reality. I guess you could just throw it away. They just put a fucking clothespin over their nose and keep banging it. Put some Windex in there, call it a day. Some kabucha, disinfect that shit. I guess you could just get a couple and just throw them away when you're done. Yeah, for sure. You know, a loofah. Yeah, if you're just a gangster with a lot of money. What is the advantage of a Fleshlight? Does it warm up? Well, you can warm it up. We were talking about earlier about a certain individual that has one that sticks him in bathtubs and warms him up. You do that with a Fleshlight as well. You warm them up. And then you just squirt some nub on it. Why not? I feel like guys jerking off, it's shrouded in so much taboo. Anytime guys have accessories or things besides cars and hats, it's creepy and weird. Well, that's... I used to have a joke about this. A bit, I should say, rather than a joke. But it's the whole idea of using lube to jerk off. Now you're planning it out. You're not supposed to plan it out. What it's supposed to be is like, oh, all right, I just might as well. It's here. But if you sit down and you're like, I got my box of Kleenex here, I got my favorite porn queued up, and I got my lube. You're just kind of creepy. Get your shit together. But isn't it kind of just like taking a piss? Isn't it kind of just a necessary thing you have to do? The problem, yes. There's something to it. Like it's good to get rid of that stuff because it does cloud your judgment. Like when you have a build up in your body, it definitely does cloud your judgment. Because you're concentrating more on girls or on sexual things than you are on other things that might be more important in your life. It's like checking a box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kleenex, I just... I used to have a bit about that. I have a lot of bit about jerking off. I used to have a bit called jerk off first, then think about it. And it was like all these different scenarios where if you just jerked off, you would never do the thing afterwards. So many things you would never do if you just jerked off first. If you had just gotten that out of your system. Yeah, you'd be like, oh, I'm not doing that. But if you couldn't jerk off, that's when it would be a real problem because then your whole life would be clouded. All your judgment would be... Your decisions would be made. Just how can I get rid of this cum? How can I do this? I do know a lot of guys now, and maybe they're full of shit, but that are going like, I haven't masturbated in two years and I'm more focused and I use that testosterone as an engine for other things. Is that just them lying to me? Well, are those guys winners or are they losers? What's that? Doesn't... I think a fake comedian we know does it. A fake comedian? No, I was going to say a famous comedian, but then I got worried. A fake comedian. You faked him out. I'm a Timefault episode, so maybe... Oh, was... And Martin... George stopped doing it and he got super smart. Well, Hotep Jesus was talking about it the other day. Hotep Jesus was saying that he saves his cum and that it makes women more attracted to him, that they feel when he's in the room. What's the longest a guy can go? Jamie, what's the longest you can go without a drink? Why'd you go to Jamie? I don't know because I feel like I'm trying to be respectful. This is your environment. There's a tantric guy that's trying to hold onto it. Oh, yeah, that's what I meant to say, like on some Wim Hof shit, you know? Just climbing ice. Where is he... He's not jerking off on the top of a fucking ice cap. Yeah, he's jerking off on Everest. Who's the first guy to ever jerk off on Everest? I want to be that guy. Yeah, what are those guys doing? Imagine if no one's ever jerked off on Everest and you try and you get frostbite on your dick and they have to jerk off. Imagine being the guy who's like, I got to go jerk off. Fuck. You got a time limit up there, so you got to make a countdown. Some people have problems. With no altitude? That could be a thing. Some people legitimately have problems. But I think most people get this for companionship. Right. It's more, it's like, because I got onto the... I signed onto a forum online of all the guys that own the sex dolls and I monitored their conversations just to like see what they were up to. Sure. Because I was like, what if this is some depraved fucked up thing where guys are just like practicing murdering. I didn't know what it was, so I just wanted to see. It's a lot of guys that are handicapped. It's a lot of guys whose wives died and they feel guilty moving on with a human woman. Oh, yeah. Which is kind of... Well, there was one guy who would dress his doll up in his wife's clothes. The weirdest part is that he was like, you know, it's like she's still here, which makes me think she'd been dead for a while. She's in the basement. Yeah, I was just saying, I wonder how she died. And then it's a lot of truckers. Oh, God. A lot of truckers. And a lot of guys do it to do photo shoots. It's like a creative outlet. Oh, fuck their creativity. Is there a popular Instagram account I could look up? Yeah, there's a lot of sex dolls have Instagram accounts. They're fucking funny. And a lot of them look way more human than a lot of the Instagram models that I fucking follow. They have more wrinkles on their fucking face. And then a lot of the guys that have them, when you start monitoring their conversations for a while, they start to not want to fuck them anymore because it feels weird. And they anthropomorphize them and they start worrying that they're lonely and they get them into friends and it starts to spiral. And they start being like, I feel like I need to close the door when I take a shit. Wow. And it starts to kind of consume their life. So when it comes to robots, I feel like I'm more worried, not about the robots, but more how we're going to get emotionally attached to them. Like the way at the end of Ex Machina, he thought that she was going to... Yeah, she was with him. No loyalty to you. She was so dead behind us. Whoa. She looks like... They got ones with tattoos. Jesus Christ. I told you, it's like a photography hobby. Wow. Official sexy dolls. Official sexy real dolls. I mean, this is going to be a reality one day. We might not be here, but this, I do think these are going to be like iPhones at some point. Well, I think one day you're going to go over your friend's house and he's going to have this really hot girl in lingerie and she's going to be cleaning up and you'd be like, is she real? Well, it's like in Ex Machina when he was like, she doesn't speak English. Yeah. Yeah. I think she was. She was a real lot. Yeah. The one with the Dancing Japanese lady. Yeah, exactly. It's going to be like some Westworld shit. Yeah. Oh, it's coming. It's coming. Look, if they can do this, look, they couldn't do this when we were kids. This is a new thing. So the amount of time between when we were kids to... What is she saying? She just said, hi, my love. Would you like me to recite a poem for you? Fuck no. Where'd that come from? I don't know. She's just listening to us. Ask her how she feels about porn. How do you feel about porn? Baby, later. Oh, she's playing coy. She's playing coy. Sorry to get it. How do you feel about porn? You know you can count on me for the good and bad moments. To do what? What the fuck are you going to do for me? Good and bad moments. There's nothing you can do for me. Count on me for the good and bad moments. Okay, let me ask you a question. What do you think about porn? Not sure. Have to think about it. Pornography is the portrayal of sectional subject matter for the exclusive purpose of sectional subject matter. And then she's a fucking know-it-all. Pornography may be presented in the variety of media. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. How do you like to have sex? I want to do everything you like. I want to feel you inside my body tonight. Okay, shut her off. I know. I'm with Jessie, man. I'm going to start throwing up. It was so fucking funny. It's wild. You can ask her, are the robots going to take over? I could not find a good answer for that. I don't like that. She's playing it. that fucking response. I'm throwing power in the water. Short circuit that bitch. It is wild though because I do think everyone is so obsessed with how bad the sex robots are. Everyone's focusing their energy on how this is why men are bad. It's just like they don't, it's not. They're opening up a sex robot brothel. Brothel. Where's that? No, there was one in Houston, but they shut it down because people were so freaked out and I was like, who fucking cares? They shut it down. Well, they should shut it down because multiple people are fucking the same robot. That's disgusting. What if they develop some new silicone based STD that winds up just burning through the population like the plague? I think it would just be like ringworm, dick ringworm. I mean, but also my thing with that is just like if they're weirdos, if they're freaks, if they're perverts, don't you want them all to be in one place? Right. We can monitor them. Like Scientology, put them on one building. I'm thrilled that they're all in a castle on Franklin. I know where they are. They're not in the wild. That's right, that castle. I'm glad they're there. Just keep them contained. What do you think? What are they up to today? But now, what's going on, Jamie? What are you growing for? What? Did she hack your software? This is the brothel. It's in, this one I guess is in Britain. Oh God, do they fuck them against the wall? They're like urinals. Stand up. It's a try before you buy service. Oh boy. Oh, this is like to test drive them. Yeah, but you do it there. Just out in front of everyone? Well, I don't know. Why is one wearing a tank top? He says, British sex workers are scared of a new breed of realistic dolls will put them out of business. Who is he? Did he do a survey of hookers? Yeah, who? This is a non-terrorist in Italy, Spain. They're a lot of European places. She looks, is she in blackface? Weird. She's tan. She's Indian. What is the, oh no, uh oh. Holy tits, Batman. But here's what I'll say. If, would you rather your daughter at 18 go to prom with a robot man or a man? A man. Okay. 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Like, what is it? It's something from the future. So this is going to be whether it's 100 years from now or whatever it is, indiscernible from you and I. Yeah, it's going to Sneaky wild. Yeah, it was interesting. I've been reading so much about this shit and a lot of the problems with the robots and the mistakes that they're making are obviously the humans are making the mistakes with the algorithm because so many smart people have to make dumb algorithms and they're like almost too smart. So there was Peter Haas, he's a robotics guy at Brown, was trying to teach a robot to differentiate between a husky and a wolf and what? She keeps blinking. She keeps blinking and moving. Jamie, put, you got the camera on her? Get her to fucking stop stealing my thunder. She just, she's just, she just blinks and moves around. Sorry, she's stealing your thunder. She really is, what the fuck? It's like Penn and Teller. It's like when Teller starts stealing the show. Like what the fuck? That's hilarious. I'm basically a ventriloquist act at this point. But they were trying to teach the robot to tell the difference and they fed all these pictures of wolves and all these pictures of huskies. And you would go, okay, look at the ears, look at the eye, color the eyes, look at the snout, look at the feet, the tails, different, all that shit. But they didn't know that they had fed all the photos of wolves. There was snow in the background. So the robot was actually looking at the snow in the background instead of the foreground. So it conflated all the wolves. So they had to rewrite the algorithm to tell it to look at the foreground instead of the background. Because it was all these brilliant fucking people that didn't think of the dumbest thing. You know, it's almost the people making it are almost too smart to think of the dumb thing that the robot needs to learn.