Joe Rogan Learns Why Thieves Lose their Right Hands in Saudia Arabia

45 views

5 years ago

0

Save

Bryan Callen

89 appearances

Bryan Callen is an actor, comedian, and podcaster. He's the co-host of the podcasts "The Fighter and the Kid" and "Conspiracy Social Club," and host of "The Bryan Callen Show." www.bryancallen.com

Comments

Write a comment...

Transcript

I want an elk. You do. You need to get one of those in your life. You don't invite me. It's great. Listen, you don't do it anymore. You don't really do it. Dude, I'm dead-eye. I'm game-eye. Sweetie, I love you. There's the level between doing what we did where you have a rifle and doing what we did. Oh, no, you're doing bows. It's so much work to get to the point where you can do it efficiently. Oh, because you're doing bow hunts. How about I show up with a gun? You could definitely do that if it's legal to have a gun. The place for that for you would be Hawaii. Really? Yes, Lanai, Axis Deer. You and I need to go to my friend's property in New Zealand and shoot those red shacks. I'm sure. But they probably need to shoot those too. They do. Because New Zealand doesn't have any predators. He's got five private beaches. He's got some money. Bring some wolves to New Zealand. Dude. What could go wrong? Great idea. We need to go to his place. He jet skis with fucking orcas. He sends me video. He's on his jet ski on his private beach. He goes, ah, orcas under him. The first family that gets eaten inside their tent by wolves. And that can happen and has happened in history, folks. The first family that that never happens to, we're all going to have a big wake-up call as to what a wolf is. It's not that I don't love wolves. I do love wolves. And I went to that wolf connection, that rescue, out in the Cent-Palmdale. I went to it really recently with Forrest Galante. Did you see wolves? It's amazing. Yeah. I hung out with them. They're cool as fuck. Pure wolves are hybrids. Most of them are hybrids. One of them was about as close to a pure wolf as you can get. You couldn't do a goddamn thing with them. This guy said that one time he had monished them for a food fight and he was incorrect. And the wolf hasn't spoken to him since. What? The wolf's like, fuck you. He used to be able to pet him, put him on leash, take him out. Now the wolf won't let him anywhere near him. He decided the guy was a cunt three years ago. Male wolves will challenge you. And you know certain animals like camels. Camels, if they like you, you're good. If they don't like you, they'll piss on you, they'll spit on you, and they will grab you and bite you and throw you. They pick you up by your neck with their teeth. I've seen that. Bro, I saw a guy trying to kill a camel. He was trying to, there's like a certain way they kill camels for some religious food. But in a certain way they kill them with a knife, they slice their throat. And he was doing that and this camel was not having it. And he grabs him by the back of the neck and just fucking whips him through the air. You realize how strong a camel is. It bites your neck. You're a 150 pound man. You're going flying. You're going flying, dude. He'll chuck you. He'll chuck you like you throw a house cat. Bourdain ate camel. He said it was really good. So did I. Did you eat it? Yeah. What is it like? Delicious. What does it taste like? It's like a goat, you know, I guess. A lot of times in Saudi Arabia you would eat a camel with a huge feast. You'd put a goat inside the camel. Wow. Oh, here's one. This guy's trying to slice. Yeah, this is another one. Okay, yeah, right there. Look at that guy. Oh! Boom, son. That thing picked him up by his head. He got his whole head in there. Look at that. Yikes. That's his whole head. Oh my God, that wasn't even just the neck. That thing grabbed his whole head. He's got to be fucked up. Bro, he might be paralyzed. Nice moving, thank God. Look at that. God damn it, just grabbed his whole head. It picked him up by his head. Dude, that could easily break your neck. Fuck it. Especially if it didn't let go. What if it shook him? Yeah, that'd be a bad situation. You know what I'm saying? He held onto the head and shook him a bunch of times? That thing is mean. Fuck, dude. Yeah, don't fuck with camels. Yeah. So it's like a goat. It's a lot of meat. It's a lot of meat. How many people ate that camel? I don't remember. I was a kid by the way. I was 14, 13 when I ate it. So I'm saying goat, but I don't remember. They eat with their hands, right? Eat with your right hand? Yes. You do everything with your right hand. And you wash your ass with your left hand. You do dirty things with your left hand. You never give anybody your left hand to shake. So when you're caught stealing traditionally, and so do they, we cut off your right hand. Oh my God, you have to eat with your shit hand. You have to be the last one to wait. You'd have to, in the goat crab, you'd be the last one to eat. Oh my God. So you'd have what was left over. Oh my God. Yeah. What do you do then? Just kill the guy? Like, why do you want to live like this? No, you live with one hand. It's fine. Figure it out.

Mel Gibson on Resistance to The Passion of the Christ, the Catholic Church, and The Resurrection

49 views

13 hours ago

Alex Jones' Weight Loss, Elon Musk's Adrien Dittman Controversy, and Social Media Manipulation

32 views

1 day ago

Wesley Huff Gives Historical Take on The Death and Resurrection of Jesus

277 views

3 days ago

Educating the Public on Using Ibogaine Therapy for Veterans

20 views

8 days ago

Raekwon on Performing at Rikers Island for ODB and the Origins of Wu Tang

12 views

9 days ago

Operation Unthinkable and Stories from Nazi Occupied Greece

19 views

10 days ago

Reacting to San Francisco Dept. of Health Hiring "Fat-Positive" Czar

12 views

10 days ago

The Search for the Arc of the Covenant

10 views

15 days ago

The History of Bow Hunting

122 views

15 days ago

Disappointing Jesus and Farting in Jars to Cure the Plague

5 views

16 days ago

The War on Christmas, Kamala Harris, and Human Suffering

6 views

16 days ago

Discussing UFO Disclosures Being a Government PSYOP and Trump's Statements on Drones

13 views

17 days ago

Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich on Being Set-Up and Going to Jail Over Obama Senate Seat Deal

20 views

23 days ago

Joe Asks Ex Navy Pilot About Mysterious Drone Sightings

22 views

24 days ago

Avoiding Weird LA Parties and The Hollywood Hills

12 views

25 days ago

Julian Lennon on Embracing Being Known as John Lennon's Son

9 views

25 days ago

Highland Games Has It's Origins in Scottish War

12 views

29 days ago

When the World's Strongest Man Fought in MMA

12 views

29 days ago

Interpreting Adam and Eve, Lilith, and the Giants of the Bible

31 views

30 days ago

Quentin Tarantino on Why He Thinks Movies Are Better Than TV Shows

124 views

1 month ago