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Dr. Phil McGraw is an author and psychologist. He is the host of "Dr. Phil Primetime" on Merit Street Media and the podcast "Phil in the Blanks." His newest book is "We've Got Issues: How You Can Stand Strong for America's Soul and Sanity." www.drphil.com
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You know Yeah well, there's a there's a movement going on in this country right now that the social justice movement and It leans in that direction that People don't want to look at things for how they are. They want to look at things for how they want them to be Yeah, that just I just don't understand you you cannot legislate that everything is going to be equal for everybody Because everybody's not equal I'm sorry. They're not equal. They may be equal in terms of their value as a human being Yes, but they're not equal in math skills. They're not equal in how fast they run. They're not equal in creativity They're not equal. Everybody has their own value, but that doesn't mean they're marketable skills in an open society And an open market are going to be the same. No, it's ridiculous I used to I had a joke and one of my specials two specials ago about there was a story about a woman who was guarding the White House she was the lone guard at one of the doors of the White House and some crazy man broke in and Knocked her to the ground and just ran through the White House and he was running around Inside the White House for like three minutes before they finally some off-duty Secret service agent tackled this guy So like what the fuck is going on this guy's running through the White House tackle this guy and the joke was that People think that a woman can do everything a man can do I go a woman could do everything a man could do Is that true and some woman he was in the crowd at a comic store was like yes I go well that doesn't make any fucking sense Here's why it doesn't make any sense because a man can't do everything a man can do I go look I've met Shaquille O'Neal and his dick is where my face is and if the White House is experiencing a shack attack I'm the wrong person to save the world He's gonna run right over me. I go but if my wife and kid were guarding the White House guess what I'm getting in Okay, I love my family, but if it's between me and get like there's no way they're gonna be able to stop me I love them to death, but I'm a man and they're women and if there's a woman guarding the White House I don't care who she is. I'll fuck her up. It's not gonna happen. This is crazy But this someone had this idea that they would Put a woman in charge of a very physical job You should have a giant man with a violent temper and he should be armed Okay, cuz this is the guy that's keeping bad people from the fucking president. Yeah, I Just I don't know. I don't understand. It just seems like you got to find your own lane I mean, yeah, you don't want to put me in the NBA. Well, yeah physical things in particular Well then and then there's also mental things look I suck at math Okay, if everyone has a chance to work at CERN, right? Everyone has a chance to work at the Large Hadron Collider including people that have no idea about physics We're gonna have a real time making these equations work. Yeah That's what I mean about finding your own lane. Yeah, I can't add two and two and get five every time I'm just not good at math, but I'm good with words. I can talk I can read fast I can comprehend well, but I am NOT good with math So I got myself into a lane where I talked for a living. I read I talk I it's qualitative not quantitative. I Can accept that I'm not suited for that I mean that I don't feel bad about myself because of that Once you do something and you're good at it, you can accept not being good at other things It's much easier if you find a thing that you're good at whether it's Gymnastics or singing or painting whatever the fuck it is if you could find a thing that you're good at it'll make you It'll give you a feeling of self-worth and you won't need to be good at everything Yeah, you can accept and you can enjoy other people being good at things as well Yeah, you know, I said earlier my dad was an alcoholic and I would compare myself to that kid across because I had a damaged personal truth But I found a currency because at that time in my life I was a pretty decent athlete for this small school I was going to so that was my currency Yeah So now it didn't matter what was happening at home because I got strokes for being able to jump high and run fast at school So that became my currency. So now Well, I compared myself to him. Okay, maybe my home life wasn't as good as his but I could run faster in Jumpire So yeah that became my currency. So now I okay that level to playing field for me Yeah, and you always like you said find what you're good at at a given time and do what you're good at Yeah, find something you love find something you're passionate about and that you could also excel at and if you can work it out where it's your Vocation and your avocation you love doing it and you get paid for it. Then you're just double blessed Yeah, you got it right because you enjoy doing this and it works out and that's good. Yeah, you catch lucky breaks Yeah, if you the imminent but that's boy, that's lucky Yeah, it is and if I just think if you're in your life and there's you don't have something that you're passionate about I mean, and I don't mean that in a cliche way If there's not something where you wake up every day and there's nothing in your life that you're excited to do Man, you need to go back to the drawing board Yeah, cuz if all you're doing is just grinding it out You get up every day go to a job. You don't like do tasks You don't care to do and come home to a home You don't want to come home to and wait to get up and do it again the next day You're burning daylight what the hell existence is that? I just I don't I don't understand that that find something I don't care if it's gardening or music or art or athletics or something find something you're excited to do Yeah, expose yourself to different things with that very purpose of finding something that you love Yeah, there's something out there. I guarantee you something. Yeah, there's something healthy It's not illegal. It's not gonna be high-risk. There's something you can do That's not gonna kill you or put you in jail that you can be excited about. Yeah, and I think it's one of the most important things to do when you're a parent is to try to expose your kid to as many different things as Possible to find those things for them. Yeah, and I got two boys as you know and you know one of them really well and I Did that growing up because my dad never took me hunting a single day in his life He never took me fishing a single day in his life He never took me camping a single day in his life. He never took me to the lake He never took me skiing boating anything. So I was I took them to all of those things I didn't know I had no clue what I was doing But I took them turkey hunting duck hunting deer hunting Skiing snow skiing camping. I did it all and To see what they liked let them pick. Yeah, and boy when you don't know what you're doing as a dad That's a bitch. Yeah, I mean just little things like you you go camping and you don't realize that Setting your tin up on the side of a hill Even if it's like eight or ten degrees is a bad idea. Yes, you've got to get on flat ground I mean it looked flat to me, but I spent the night trying not to roll down a damn hill It didn't look like it was on a slant, but it was but you figure these things out as you go along But I was glad I gave them those Experiences so they could choose and they did and they'll end there some of it they like some of it. They didn't