Are the World's Worst Tourists Chinese?

Anyway, the Creek of the Cave is a great place for young comics in New York. I hear nothing but great things. It's amazing. I saw it that way. It's like they bring together young comics and give them places to perform with. No one's... It is what the comic store was if you take away the 12 plus year comics. How many seats is it? 80 on top and 15, 20 on the bottom. Jesus. Oh, I walked in. That's awesome. That is my impression of this place at one time. I walked in on Skankfest and I walked past Ari throwing piss on somebody. And I walked downstairs to a room full of people with their shirts off chanting, do you remember that Ari? Did you shit in a Tupperware there? Yeah, that's what that is. That's where you opened up the Tupperware. He took his shit in a Tupperware and then opened it up in the room. It was a tackle box. It was a fish and tackle box that I wrapped. It was a disgusting person. Michael Che was outside and he was like, oh, I ran. He smelled it from fucking down the street. I'm starting to gag just... And these guys were offended by Milo? Exactly. Was it a log or was it mush pile? I just shit into it and see whatever happened happened. It was a pile, a bit... Oh my god. That's a good question. I'm not sure exactly. Sometimes when you shit, it smells awful and you realize you've shit so much that it's broken water and it's rising like... It's broken water? That's why he ate out of the fucking toilet bowl. It's like the Kona Coast. You get that smell. Why does it smell so bad? Human shit. You realize you shit so bad. My dog shit doesn't smell nearly as bad. Not even nearly as bad as people's shit. As that. People's shit is disgusting. It smells like hate crimes. Yeah, but dog shit once it gets in between your toes smells worse. I don't believe that. Dogs aren't drinking. That's what it is. They're not drinking whiskey. They're not eating Subway. I thought you were going to do a thing on dog hydration. Dogs don't drink enough water, man. Makes their shit good. Guys, on a dog has a new product. The real problem with dogs is the amount of water in their shit. If you can dehydrate your dog, it'll be nearly as bad. Nothing's as bad as human shit. Human shit is so nasty, man. You know you walk in like in a city and you sometimes see shit. Say it. If you smell it, but you're saying, if you smell it, that's like a fucking 90% chance. Oh, 100%. Oh, dude. That's what they told me in Hong Kong. They're like, listen, if you see, hold on. Not every mainlander from mainland China shits in malls, but if you see shit in the mall, that's a mainlander. Yeah. Really? Yeah, they're disgusting. They just shit in the mall? Yeah, they just shit. Mainland Chinese people. Just shit in the mall? I'm not even in the bathrooms. Oh, the ground. The ground. So, in case you walk through the mall and you see human shit on the way up? Yeah, dude, they don't know how to be. Chinese tourists are an underrated worst tourist in the world. What? Chinese tourists are the worst tourists. When they're saying to Trump, we're going to hold our tourism back, all the fucking travelers are like, please keep them there. So, they just, some folks who live in rural China, is that what you're saying? A lot. Dude, the children, the children, you've been there. They have these shorts, these wide shorts with a cut down the middle. So, when you open and stand up, the cut comes together. When you squat, so you don't have to fucking lift your shorts out, it comes out and then just shit away. These shit where they're walking? Ten-year-olds. Just take shits. Where are these shorts? How do I get those pants for Sundays? What is this? Why kids keep crapping in public in China? It's part of their culture, dude. Oh, my God. If you're a kid, they're saying, what's their fucking culture? Shit. And you can find anything online these days. That's true. Who is this, Breitling? Look at Burt with the fucking common sense. Dude, I've gotten tried in these so much. It is Kotaku.com. Don't move. Don't move. They're the worst tourists. I had to put up signs asking Chinese tourists to not poop on the grounds. Oh, my God. Scroll down that for a second. Top five worst tourists. Chinese, far and away number one, like fucking Richard Pryor. The Chinese replace Americans as the worst tourists in the world. We never were. It says they're obnoxious. Oh, my God. This is a terrible article. Yeah. Although, have you ever been... And they shit in public, apparently. Oh, my God. Vice. Yep. UK vice. UK vice. How dare you, people. How is the fucking difference? So we're reading this, folks. If you hear those words, I have not said that. Yeah. I'm reading something off of the title. I'm not saying Chinese people are bad. I don't know the records. I don't know the records of all Asians. If you're listening, Ari did say everything. I did say all that. I'll stand by. Chinese tourists are by far the worst tourists. Next is, I don't know if you see this, Israel and Russians tied. Why Israelis? Wow. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm missing Australians. The Bogans are garbage people. Are you serious? Yeah, fucking inflicted them into the world like, go learn on their turf. Wow. Bogans are awful. Why Israelis? All you want to do is get... Look at them. I don't know. Can they get out of the army and they think they could fucking go nuts? Yeah. I don't know, but people don't like Israeli tourists. Really? Yeah, they got a reputation about them. I didn't know that. Yeah, Americans are way down the line. No, Americans are not celebrated in a lot of parts where you travel to, man. We are very celebrated in a lot of places. We're the only ones who tip consistently. Hardcore. People like our money. Yep. And the ones who travel are not the fucking fat rednecks testists. I guess that's true. They're the ones who have gone and gone to the world. But sometimes they are. That's the... Sure, sometimes. There's a lot of Americans. I'm just saying, there's plenty of obnoxious Americans traveling. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. But we're not in this top five. Really? Interesting. I would have assumed we would. Normally shitting at the mall. I can't believe that people are out. Yeah, shitting on the ground. That's a big step down. The worst is insanity, dude. Like, for you to think that other people are going to be like, oh, yeah, you just got to take a shit. Just do it right here. It's your life. Dude, I did where it's like, I got to piss in public at other things. Like, block me. Block me. You know? So, I get four or five guys around the time. No, you don't have to block me. I'm just going to shit real quick. It's like, we're in the woods and I got to piss. There's no, like, embarrassing level. That's how they feel. That's how they feel, dude. They don't even worry about who cleans it up. Because they're not even thinking about it. Dude, let's stay there. Do they wipe? Oh, my God. There's no wiping. Imagine if everybody did that. If everywhere you looked, it was just shit. Oh, Jesus. Everywhere you're walking. So, if you were to confront somebody right after, you're like, what the fuck did you just do? They'd be like, what are you talking about? Do you think that they're living in a place... The way they would confront you, like, what, you just got in your car? Like, what? I don't get it. Do you think that it's where they're living is so overrun with people? That they just shit anywhere and they don't think that anybody has an impact on the environment? Well, now you're asking me to speak an expert and I will. Yes, please speak. I'm not one, but this is all my interpretation. And, yeah, I think they have no expectation of privacy because they're so fucking on top of each other. Their homes, extremely clean, take off your shoes before you come inside. Really? The homes are fucking insane floors. Are we talking about, is this thing like mainland? Mainland. But I'm saying, on the mainland, you know, China has over a billion people. Yeah. So, you have a lot of, like, really poor, uneducated rural parts. Sure. And, like, saying that somebody in that area does this, I'd be like, yeah, are you saying that, like, even somebody that lives in Beijing or Shanghai who has a job? They don't work at Wall Street. No, they don't. No. They don't. So, that's what I'm saying. Not all mainlanders will shit in malls. Right. But if you see shit in a mall, it is a mainland. It is a mainland. And let's be clear. When they say kids, what age group? Is it high school kids or trying to fuck or is it, like, togglers? There's a shit everywhere? We're trying to fuck. We're taking shits. Fuck, man.