18 days ago
Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Watch his stand-up special "Beautiful Dogs" on Netflix, and catch him as "Gilly" on Peacock's "Bupkis." www.shanemgillis.com
Matt McCusker is a comedian, writer, and co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast." Catch his comedy special "At the Speed of Light" on YouTube.
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Yes. Salud. Hey. Bud like came all the way back. They came all the way back. Matt, you can do it responsibly. I can't. Are you a non drinker now? No, I drink, I just unfortunately have a bad tummy, can't have gluten. Oh, yeah. I've had it since I was like 21. Is it a Crohn's thing or? No, it's like Celia if I had it I'll get like I won't die. I'll just stuck burp in every you know Celiac says rough man. I have a buddy didn't know he had it until He was like 25 or something like that. Yeah, yeah, it's about when you got it right 21 Yeah, well he probably had it his whole life just which is like just Felt like shit. Yeah, maybe I have it was totally shit. Yeah, maybe I have it. We might not have it. We might not have it. We can put down 18 of these. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're sponsored. It's not like you're like I what's the next thing right? That ends your night. Yeah, there's a corner. I turn yeah, where I'm like oh Yeah, I know that's a corner really concentrating on my liver I'm gonna have to live her. Come on boys. Come on boys. Yeah, I doubt. Turn to that corner. Bud Light came all the way back. UFC, Shane Gills. Let's go. Let's go. Let's fucking go. For the rose now. I mean, that's a good move. Like that guy that we met, the CEO, he's got it together. Yeah. He gets it. He gets it. Just in commercials. I knew you guys were gonna fucking make fun of me. I'm so happy. I'm fucking fine. No, okay, we're not happy without this. Listen, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. They just made so much sense. You never let them go. You never bailed on them. In the heart of all the craziness, you never bailed. Kid rocks fucking shooting cases of it. [2:00] That's right. That's right. That's your never says that. That's your never says that. I have to fight Bobby next time I go to an after- Yeah, this is your never-dooling classic duel. I think it was an important moment in culture where people realize like you know there's consequences for certain things and some people they like a guy like Kid Rock can shoot your brand. You got real problems. It true. What that type of guess who would have guessed who the fucking ever thought that was just seeing Kid Rock do that people must Like oh fuck you think they watch it in the good boardroom like guys We gotta talk about that lady who's maybe Charge the one lady made that one video. Let's let's move on. Oh, yeah Wow, I didn't see that Wow, I didn't see that coming. I think we've beaten that fucking horse into a pulp. Yeah. It's a meaty jelly on the ground now. Yeah. It's been awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. I'm so happy. They're smart, man. They do a smart thing. And they do a smart thing with the UFC, too. It's perfect. Yeah. [3:00] It's perfect. Yeah. And they were fighting a beer before every fight Yeah, I don't think that'd be you know how they can they have monster cans That probably won't happen though, but why not yeah, okay, okay, you have a light on the bottle Monster during the fight that's what I was saying. Yeah, I'm gonna say it's bad for you to have a bud light after a fight That's crazy. You just got punched in the head a hundred After the fight. Yeah, I don't just got punched in the head, 180 times. After the fight, yeah. I don't think that's a tough sell. I think those guys who crack and be here, they have to. Yeah, like the Sean Strickland Dracosteoplasy fight, those guys just break it after. They deserve a lot of beer after that fight. You some ass ice packs too, like a cold. Yeah, it's like You know what I've never had used on me is that ends well they take that piece of hurt like fuck and they push all the swelling away from your eyes you could see better [4:01] Oh man, where'd you go? Just they just push push off the side of your head. Yeah They're just to clear your vision so you can go out there and get punched again Yeah, you ever just to clear your vision so you can go out there and get punched again. Yeah, you ever see that press No, I didn't know what that was that was like Tyson bus dog was they didn't have one they didn't bring it They thought Tyson was gonna fuck up bus dog was that bad. They were like he had a bad corner Yeah, Tyson Tyson's downfall is largely related to many things Everybody falls they just get too big. They just It's too unmanageable. But also, Costa Mato died and then he left Kevin Rooney. And so now he's with these guys that were just like around. And there's trainers and it's like he's Tyson so he could beat everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, but then he gets to this one dude in Buster Douglas, who's really prepared. His mom just died. And he was always like that super talented guy. Like, look how bad his eye was. Look how bad his eye was. And they didn't have an answer. They had a glove. They filled a rubber glove with ice. Yeah, so stupid. I mean, you need to push on that and push it to the side. And Tyson's still almost one. He's still almost one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a questionable 10 count on that. It was a question. A questionable. It was definitely, but there's a few of those out there in the sport. [5:06] But the, the sport should operate on the time like a digital timer should go off. The moment someone touches the ground, that's how it should go. Because if you're a guy and you know, you're maybe like this guy more, you know, like the fighters in the referees, they know each other. Like, I'm, you know, I'm around these guys all the time in MMA and it's just, you get to be friends with them. I'm friends with these guys. Damn, so there's no official clock. It's just the referees in the head. I did, that's great. Well, in MMA, obviously this will count. But in boxing, I'm sure it's kind of a similar situation where they all know each other. Okay, Dude, I used to have a rough kid's basketball when I was in high school and as soon as a kid talked shit to me I'm like in my head I was like your team's I'm gonna do everything in my power As soon as they're like are you serious? My parents spoke up. I'm like you just lost this game for your Congratulations. Yeah, like wait a go dickhead and I would just a whole time you just high as fuck [6:07] 15 bucks a game some parents are in soft dude. It's insane. They're so insufferable. You see it in combat sports too You see it like some parents are just so crazy Yeah, and they think they would they almost want to hit the other kid that that fought their kid like hey I guess that's a deal that makes sense though. It doesn't make sense no no I'm saying like it does you see your kid getting hit it's not like a sport like a football or something. Yeah. There's like an instinct to be like, I gotta go beat that kid's ass. Oh for sure. But you know, everybody knows what's going on here. This is like, it's very important. You don't violate that, especially with kids and adults. And it's like, you're allowing another child to possibly knock your kid unconscious. And then that's, that's the agreement you're making. and you're trying to have your kid is trying to knock that kid unconscious Yeah, yeah, it is what it is it's intense man. I when I used to coach kids I used to take take kids to fights like young teenagers take them to fights You know and and sometimes their parents would just be fucking freaking out [7:01] You know, it's like I'm so used to seeing people get kicked in the face. To me, it's like normal. I don't have any kids. I'm 21. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, how do I talk to these parents and get them to relax and understand like, this is the agreement that's been made here. Yeah. You can't freak out. Yeah, you have a freak your kid out. Yeah, you're gonna freak your kid out. You put in too much pressure in your kid. Like, Hylio Gracie used to give his children toys and presents if they lost. That's kind of cool. Yeah. He wanted them to be, he just wanted them to get better. And he's like the, the, the fear of competition, the fear of losing is so overwhelming. He would do everything could demitigate it. And so instead of him getting fucking angry and hyped up, he would hug them and give them toys and give them things if they lost. That's really nice. That's kind of a good way to go about it. Because even like basketball and football, like I've seen parents like, spastic. Yeah, because if you think about it, like the kid's gonna try to win anyway. He's not gonna try to get his ass kicked for a GI Joe. You know, he's getting try to win anyway. He's just throwing the match. He gets the win and if he loses, he gets a fucking toilet. [8:07] Yeah, exactly. I had a bet once. My dad if I scored three baskets in a game, I'd be able to rent Mortal Kombat. My whole team was trying to get me. My friends were trying to get me to ball. I sucked. Six points? I did. I needed six points. Jumping six in some really games. Not easy. No, it was young. We were young. It was tough. It was a wrestling match that was recently, this video went viral because this kid, these two guys are wrestling and it looks like this kid does now an arm in. It looks like he's just on the neck, which is illegal in wrestling. You're supposed to have an arm in and the dad jumps in and I think he hits the kid. Yeah, it's kid, the dad I believe got banned for life. Yeah, that should do it. It's pretty crazy. Oh, he actually jumped in and beat the dude. I thought it was WWE rules. I thought it could interfere. It gave him a steel chair. I don't know what the rules are to wrestling. [9:00] So I can't tell you whether or not I really know very little about wrestling. So I can't tell you whether or not this I really know very little about wrestling So I don't know whether or not the kid was doing something that was highly illegal and jujitsu looks normal It's like oh, yeah, he got his neck, but I guess in wrestling you can't just grab the neck Yeah, you have to have an arm in I should need me talking about this. I really should honestly should know Not you're right It's the things that I should know You know know, with the limitations of their sport art, but I just, I'm always like, it's so sad. I guess you can't choke in wrestling. I think you could, maybe a classic, hey, lock, I don't know. Yeah, you could hit the fucking. But you have to have an arm end, though. I have to have an arm end. I don't know any rules about wrestling. I don't know yeah, yeah, no. I was in Papu in your effort. I'm like, Matt, I'm talking about it. I dropped six in a summer league game. I was like, yeah. Fell down 10 times. I said, there's a choke where you put someone completely unconscious with one arm, with just the, like, headlock. It's called a bulldog choke or a school yard choke. Yeah. They call it a school yard choke. That How Carlos Newton beat Pat Melatage for the Walter Way title, like way, way back in the day, it's a crazy picture [10:07] because Carlos Newton is fucking shredding. And he's just got a whole one you have here. No, no, no, that's a... Axel's under Corral. That's a scary one. That's the scary scary scary thing I've seen. He's a scary scary guy that I've ever lived. That guy used to just throw people around. But that, that, so there's no way that's legal. Because you could put someone unconscious with that. Yeah, I don't think you're that. Yeah, probably not. Jamie, what are the rules for wrestling? Are you allowed to grab someone by their neck? Can you even show me the video with the kid where the dad jumps in? I'm not sure if I found the right one. This one I found was the point. Yeah, that's that. But the one you just showed, showed that picture again. That's Carl's Newton when he caught Pat Melon. That's the fucking big brother, dude. Look at that arm son. You're not my dad. You'd let it sit out the window all day long. Hey ladies, look at that arm. Good lord. Prochisos shredded. Yeah Carl's Newton was a sensational submission guy too. He also fought Matt Hughes and choked Matt Hughes unconscious, [11:00] but Matt Hughes slammed him to the ground and knocked him unconscious, and Matt Hughes woke up first, and Matt Hughes was like, I won? Like he didn't even know he won. What happened was Carlos got him a standing triangle, and Carlos is putting him out while he's standing up, and then Matt, and like a last-ish effort slams him to the ground as he's going out. Wow. Carlos goes out, and he goes out, and then Matt wakes up and I remember being there Matt Matt was like Anyone from waking up first. He was the fucking man dude back in the day. He was a man Matt he was was like the first like truly elite wrestler that learned like black belt level submission skills So they're both out they're both out and so like mass like what he doesn't know what's going on Yeah, he sat up so he's good. He's slammed wearing fucking tidy ladies Fuck so bad. This is a great fight Max used was the fucking man tidy ladies is a wild move. Yeah. Yeah, that is pretty nuts, dude [12:01] It is a wild move, but everybody wore them back then the Brazilian Valley two-do guys they all wore speedos Yeah, they fought like they fought on the beach come on Yeah, you got no fight with some Brazilians on the beach. I got robbed in the No, they told me they're on these yeah, no, there's some trunks respectable But yeah, they told me not to walk home on the beach by myself and you just late at night or early in the morning. I was like late at night I could see, but I was like early in the morning, it's sunrise. And I got robbed at night point. Yeah, damn, so I must have been terrifying. Can you ask me by a guy in a speedo? Yeah, I would talk that out. What did you have to give up? Would you, it's like seven bucks. It was like seven, I had like a, credit card and then I remembered I had money like in my shoe or something and they were pissed. I'm like, oh, here I have this too. They were kind of nice about it. Oh, that's cool. They were like, sorry, we're really hungry. And I was like, hey, thanks for not stabbing me guys. But I was like, yeah, you get out of your body. When you're getting robbed, you're completely out. Yeah, we had a phrase book on me and my credit card, they took my credit card. [13:05] I'm like, you guys can take this to the Mac machine, just get a bunch of money out. And they were like, I didn't know what that was. And then they took like seven bucks off me. They went through my phrase book and they were laughing at stuff that I had circled. So it was like, yo, Kato Vose, I was like, yeah, yeah, it was like the most it was pretty like cordial the whole experience. Wow Damn, yeah, they made funny They let me one of my phrase book and they're like bad I flipping through it when you land in Rio you drive through the Vuelelos Yeah, so scared and it's it's like oh my god like the cut the level of pot you ever see city of God yes, bro makes boys in the hood Look like Sesame Street. Yeah, it's crazy. That movie is crazy. Yeah, just living in shed. Do it. It's the hill. It's like what was that game? You're playing Fallout where you're like grabbing pieces of metal That's your house. It's crazy. Yeah, I know a lot of people that came from there. [14:07] It's nice. Yeah, a lot of UFC fighters came from the Favilles. Dude, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's a different level of poverty, man. And it's a different level of scarcity. Yeah. With no opportunity, nothing, violence, guns. Yeah, they come. The kids are like, when I was walking around there, I was like 21, but they'll like, they'll come grab your leg and like hold onto your leg and like, povavor, just like, dude, here's the next city city of gone. Whoo! Such a good movie. Movie's so crazy. And apparently really accurate. It really is like what it's like. Damn, I was Roger Ebert days. Yeah. Yeah, when I was there, this like Swedish guy went to the Fevella with another guy to buy Coke and I was like, like you want to come? I was like, no. Thank you. Fuck. He got back. He was was like he looked kind of like Brazilian a little bit luckily But I was like I'm not going with you together. Yeah, there's levels. Yeah, there's levels in this world Yeah, that's a that's scary being that poor scary, but it was nice I was there. It's like monopoly money. It's like if it's not your currency. I was out there Oh, yeah, don't let stuff out love you love our currency. I do we're in Australia [15:08] We're in Australia Matt was like this is us did I try to pay $20 a day with us money and they were like we don't take that I'm like man This is American I was like yeah, here's a 20 bucks. They're like what we can't take this My god, you don't give you that. That's just good money some money. I've let they have like clear little holes in them There's like little hall grams in it. It's all bullshit, dude. American money is the only thing that matters. Isn't it wild though that no one's figured out how to completely, accurately recreate money? It's just pieces of, like they had to really stay ahead of the curve for the counterfeit technology. Yeah, it's true. All the printers. I was a major problem when this country was like starting. Yeah, we had an easy thing to do. By death, wasn't it? Yeah. They used to fuck you up for that. I remember the first time I ever saw a fake $20 bill. I was like, oh wow, this is weird. Yeah. It's weird. It's like, it feels wrong. Yeah. I don't think you can buy the paper, but people bleach bills and then you can print, you can get the real paper, bleach the bill and print like tens on like a one. [16:09] And you can do that and sell, you can sell bundles of them to people. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. That's what they do. That's what I've heard. Are you involved in this? No, I just, I just, I just, I've heard, there's bad's bad money goes around. People sell it in big chunks and you can get it and it just seems like if they can make fake Rolexes. How the fuck can they not make fake? Because you know they have the light they shine on a dollar bills now? Does it feel some better to them and stuff? Yeah, I don't know. I think the people who are counterfeiting though aren't just kind of like, I don't know, you'd have to be so advanced technologically to like do that. And if you were able to make money, you could probably do all kinds of other stuff. Yeah, but that's the case with a lot of things that are illegal. It's like there's some industrious people that just go the wrong way in life, but they're really fucking smart. That's true. I think I had some fake mushrooms. Oh, there you go. Oh yeah, the fish is sitting man sued Mr. Clean magic erasers while he used Matt rather Mr. Clean magic erasers to transform one dollar bills into hundreds [17:10] Magic erasers so he erased it and then reprinted over yeah, yeah, with the cleaner wall with Mm-hmm that way you can get you have the good paper But then I guess that's why I have those strips because then you can hold up a strip and be like that's not a ten10 bill. This is a fun that's a lot of work man Yeah, I've done a lot of money made you go to jail for ever son. It's the secret service Secret service looks into stuff speaking of which what do they arrest killer Mike for? Oh, yeah That is one of the most ridiculous. They don't rest anybody in LA. You got people literally doing meth in front of people's house Yeah, what did do? And Killer Mike gets arrested after he wins three grams. Yeah. What did he do? Well, of course, the online conspiracy theory is that he criticized Joe Biden. That's the online conspiracy. I like that. I like that. That's a great conspiracy. That is. It's a fun conspiracy. [18:00] You know, the other one I haven't found. Who the fuck would arrest Killar Mike like what is this misdemeanor? What did he do? Do you have a license plate missing or something like what the fuck did he do that there? It was charged we got to fight out Yeah, I'm gonna do you do Killar Mike yeah, you think yeah Such a good guy killer Mike is brilliant as he is that is the name of like a crazy thought Yeah, yeah, it's not the name of a guy who's like a philosopher yeah killer Mike yeah killer Mike is like a killer Mike's not even a creative name it's like a name that's like the dumb guy in the neighborhood they're like oh that's killer Mike yeah from that guy this is from this is an hour ago he said nothing happened but this is the official report mm-hmm a physical altercation happened. Oh. And he's gonna be released. Oh, a misdemeanor battery and then released in zero bail. Oh, he bit-slap somebody. I got a rule, that's awesome. But again, in Los Angeles, there's people that are like literally pulling knives on sheriffs and being a jail [19:00] of one of that day. Yeah, he did what the guys at the top did at the court. The war Yeah, yeah, he did what the guys of Smith did at the World in front of the whole world and he gets arrested Yeah, that's so he's thinking it's like post-Wil Smith. They've changed the rules maybe maybe Celebrity smack each other. You have to step in Maybe a new task force for that well depends on who he smacked, you know, that's the question Yeah, if it's somebody we want him to, yeah, you know, now I'm really here. Yeah, you know, if you smack Tara with Swift, that'll be a real issue. Yeah, you don't put your hands on our queen. Not after last night. She had, she didn't she do well last night. I saw the news. She did a lot in the Grammys. Things are going well for Taylor Swift. Fine. It's done. All right. I find it so fascinating how many people are for whatever reason are opposed to it they don't like that she's so popular it's really it's normal it's normal human behavior she's ruining the game of football now I can't watch she's I really watch the dude she's ruined she has ruined the game of football I can't even watch it anymore because it cuts to her once or twice and And they get in the game and I see her and I go, Mother, why are you there? [20:06] No, I don't know. It's crazy. Although I will say this, when they're playing against you, when it's your team, and then the camera cuts and Taylor Swift, that's when it builds. You go that, what if Taylor Swift did? That makes sense though. If a billionaire is laughing in your face, and their team incredible the chiefs are incredible And then it cuts to her up there in a box. They were in like Buffalo. Okay, everyone's outside freezing it cuts to them like All the perfect heated box You're gonna see a Buffalo game in January you should be outside get out there You gotta be in the snow out of respect respect for the players. You feel it more. Yeah. Yeah, just bundle up, bitch. Where's the map muffins? Fucking mittens and shit. They were giving fans like $20 an hour to go shovel the stadium. Yeah, it's all that. Oh, yeah. That was a crazy move. That was crazy. I can't believe no one died. They could have easily died. Yeah, dude. So, drinking and shoveling for 20 bucks an hour. [21:06] Oh, yeah, my friend Tommy just blacked out behind the wheel of his car. He's in shoveling. Hey, crashed his car and fucked him so much. Sorry, so, snow shoveling. He's like, my friend. Sorry, so, snow shovelers and pallet, or plow truck drivers get so fucked up. We were in high school, we used to get hired by land scabers in the winter to shovel, and they would just feed us beer and weed when we were like, and he's all used to get people fucked up and just sit up all night and shovel kind of, and they'd be like 20 bucks an hour, and you're just like, what the fuck? When I lived in Boston, we would always, whenever it snowed, me and my friends would is. And some of them, you get fucked. Like some of them, you don't realize the snow's wet and it's a long ass driveway. You're an hour and a half in, you're on a quarter way there. You're like, oh, we fucked up, dude. My friend owned a... No, I didn't price this one. My friend owned a landscaping company and I didn't have with my girlfriend at the time. She was a teacher. I was literally playing Xbox. Like she was like, you gotta turn it around. [22:05] I was like, I'm gonna do comedy. She's like, you do an open mics at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone. I was like, trust me. I was like, it's probably 24. Oh my God. And then my friend on the landscaping company, I had zero dollars. I was not working all right, nice. I got out there for 10 minutes. Put the shovel down. I was like, bro, I'm going back home. It's grueling. Yeah, I quit. I mean, you're out all night too. But you put your beers in the snow. Oh, that's kind of nice. That is nice. Oh boy. Just blasted, lifting chunks of snow everywhere. I think I was like four beers in and I was like I'll just go drink more inside. I kind of feel bad for kids who grew up without snow. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fucking pivotal moment in you. A snow day. Snow days. And then just hanging out with your friends in the snow and then the quiet. Yeah. Everything's quiet. When it snows out, it's like you're in a movie. It's [23:03] like yeah. You're outside. It's like, it's like, it in a movie. It's like yes. You're outside. It's like Nothing. No sound at all La Merifel yesterday I was like you couldn't hear him fall he fell behind us We were walking into the creek in the cave and he slipped and I was like, yeah, he fell like snow. Like it was dead silent. We didn't hear him fall. He didn't make a noise. Oh, we got the security footage. I said we got the security footage. I immediately got the security footage. I got him. Oh. You gotta get the other angle. That was fairly graceful. Yeah, I mean, he lays there. Seems like there's steps there. He falls, steps falls he jumped over the curb and he stepped on the bottom of that Boy, it doesn't take a lot to trip. No Look at that bro. He just goes down Single thing bro, he would suck at judo don't tell him that bro. They just be tripping him all day long [24:02] He's it that he prides himself on being nimble. So this is like a real no he does it. He was very sad. Come on really? Yeah. I mean that was everything was nimble before he fell though. He did like a little hops like anime jump. Oh my god you have two angles. Jamie do you have that wrestling match with that dad attacks the kid? That's I don't know. I had the right one. Oh, dude. Anyway, no days were a little bit random. Yeah, they're nice. Is this the right one they showed? I don't believe so. Let me see this one. I think it probably had, but no. Damn. Oh, Christ. Oh my God. See, that's what I'm talking about. Look at this fucking guy. I dumped him. Oh shit. Wow. Show the mug shot again. That was a good one. He was that's not I wouldn't have expected that kind of move like that. Yeah he moved. Yeah that guy's nimble. It's got a kid. True. How much of that you think is protection of the kid versus like 100% your thing is all protection. Yeah. Yeah. He got dumped on his head. See watch [25:03] watch how the kid goes down. God. Yeah. first see a tombstone see how the ref touches his head because he's freaked out that's a bad landing like you could break your neck like that you get definitely get a concussion you might have out in caution god damn yeah you get that's how Karell and used to beat guys Karell and used to literally hoist guys up and pound them into the ground. Just pound them over and over and over again. Jesus Christ. That says it's an illegal move, but that's just a comment. I think it is an illegal move. But also when you're lifting people up and throwing them in the resisting, wild shit happens. Yeah. But it does seem like you piled off the month's head. You seem like you should have known in the middle of that move. Not if you're not gonna. You were talking about a choke or something right now? Yeah, the kid was apparently doing an illegal choke and the dad jumped in. It's also in that kid's defense. If you have someone up in the air and a wrestling match it's hard not to slam them in the ground. Yeah, it's like oh I'm gonna slam me only now as far as I can. Well I'm sure there's different rules and like young amateur wrestling versus what they [26:06] would do in the Olympics but Karelian used to just pile drive people. He just hoist them up and it was a freak. Dude there's nothing worse than like the only experience I have is like football. So it's like first play of the game like the guy against you just fucks you up. Yeah I damn this damn, this is gonna be, it's a long game, dude. I'm gonna get fucked up for two hours. Like wrestling, if a dude slammed you right away, you'd be like, all right. They slammed you with this. We're gonna fucking call this thing. And then in MMA, they start punching you in the face while you're recovering from being slammed, you know? I was looking for it. There's a dars joke pulled off an arresting match. Yes, I think that is legit because it's one arm in. I think that's the rule. Oh, we put him out. Damn. Oh shit. Damn, and he hit him with the fucking... Matthews choked out Ricardo Almeida with a wrestling move where he had a head and arm from the front, [27:01] and he just, he has such a squeeze. And just, that he gripped the head and arm and just and the combo squares you're just and you're just cutting off their crotted are yeah yeah yeah you're cutting it all off that fucking tank when he was the welterweight champion is a tank yeah that's it sucks man and for him to grab your arm and your head together like this is which is basically what he had he had him like on the side with his arm and head together and just squeezed it so hard he went out. I was just watching. Who's like the Mongolian guy who's back to Stani or Kazakhstan. Fuck, he got a standing fucking. He had a rock went off. Yeah. Shotgun. Yeah, he's a beast. I think that's where you're talking about. He had a little brother. Yeah, see see of the dad jumps in. Yeah. So the kids on his back and he rolls him over and it looks like the kids got a choke, but I can't tell if he's got an arm in. Damn. He does have an arm in. He doesn't have an arm in. He didn't have an arm in. He's like, my bad, my bad, that's my bad. My bad, I know. Yeah, he's bad That is it. Now I don't know what the rules are, but it does look like the kid has an arm in. [28:06] He has an arm in. He has a roll over. So you have his arms is under the arm. That's a fucking walrus raft, dude. Yeah, man. No, he looks at these. Well, for him, he looks like, yeah, he died in a bit. So that's a weird situation. But, you know, that's fucking loser cool. Yeah, well there's also like when you're watching your kid, wrestling's are in combat different, but like if they're watching your kid suck it, like basketball at football, then you're like taking that personally because that kid's supposed to like carry you on. Yeah, this is your legacy. It's your legacy. It's also like that at the fucking dog park. Oh my god. If you dogs are playing a dog lose, people jump in. Yeah. My sister jumped in. Yeah. Her dog was losing, she like, I've punched dogs in the mud. I've punched dogs in dog parks. I've had dog, like a dog grabbed my dog by the neck and I just, some people bring aggressive dogs in dog parks. Yeah. It's not wise. I didn't know they were my dog was a puppy. I didn't know. When my dog was a puppy, I used to bring him to dog parks. [29:06] He started fighting with dogs. He liked it too much. So like no more. Yeah. I'm like, I brought Nikita to dog parks. Those things are nasty. You can't discourage that either. It's a weird thing. The dog fighting thing, unless you're a professional trainer and you're with that dog all the time. Like you gotta be with that dog, you gotta really do a really good job if it's an aggressive dog of getting them around, socialize them with other dogs because they just fucking dominate each other. It's just natural with dogs. Yeah, they do. They bow up on each other. But getting, I swear, I'm like, God damn it. Everyone has a different tolerance threshold too because you're the dog park some people want them to get a little rough Some people are like not at all exactly well if you're a woman and you got a poodle you know the fuck don't bring that thing around Poodles are working. Poodles are working. Breathe a big poodle real big Yeah, what are they doing? They're big a big poodle. What do they work on bird hunting probably [30:07] Poodles yeah, poodles are bird hunters. Is that what they are? I'm pretty sure a big Poodle not a little you're a little bright I'm toy. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard they're actually good watchdogs the big dude telling the big Poodles are not Everything the French do so dog walker do every single thing dude It meant to be like an aristocrat with a poodle dude. There's sexual dogs still everything the French Who's the exact why the dog walk in the at a big black pool I walked he tried to fuck me the whole time that was you dude you're looking at the good food originated in Germany in the Middle Ages a dog similar to the standard pool the poodles germany's water dog just as England had the English water spaniel French had the barbeque and Ireland had the Irish water spaniel and the Netherlands, the western western, western, western, western, western, western, western, western, western, western hune. Among the evidence used to support this theory is the Germanic name for the breed Poodle or Poudet in German which is derived from the low German word Poodle in meaning to [31:01] splash water dog. Numerous works by the makes sense of the other handle Right it says right there ancestors were widely used by water followers to both retrieve shot game and to recover lost arrows and bolts That had missed their mark. Wow, they chased down it How high were you when you hit the poodle Wikipedia? Yeah, they're Foodles of water. They're surprised. I mean I kept seeing them in the wild and they kept surprising me I'm like, dude these guys are not fly dude. They're motherfuckers dude But then he started doing his bullshit. That's a mom bullshit. I hate that. Why do they do that? That's what women want to do to us, dude So they're doing us right now That's what they want to do with it. No man, we gotta be cool with it. So watch the scared guys and Andrew take. That's only one man left. It's tape. It's a muzzle now. [32:00] Only tape can save us bro. I know man. Top G. Here's the top G. Out is the top G out of jail Yeah, he's doing a super car reviews on YouTube. It's hilarious. That's tight and I don't think it's under the name Andrew tape, but it is him Yeah, you know probably because they would ban him from you to write a lot of shit get on anything Yeah, yeah, so but it's him why are they barring? He reviewed a mazerotti. It's pretty funny review Why are they in talks a lot of shit? Yeah, let me tell you about the matrix my friend I mean in Romania he's under allegations of a rape charge If you traffic traffic in weird too because if you like if I trick you and across the state lines Then you get plowed I've trafficked you but if I'm trick you in a crossing state lines, then you get plowed I've trafficked you but if I'm like you're about to get plowed and you get in my car and you get plowed Not you're fine You know what I'm saying? Yeah, all right Trick the cross they like Okay, so he does not be perfect. He does have one says the cobra mind [33:05] Okay, so there was another channel. Maybe they were appropriating his content. Maybe that's what it is. Most likely. Yeah. He's the most Google man in the world. He's funny to have a cobra's mind. Is there a dumb fucking animal? Mardass? I know, right? But he's a smart ass dude, Matt. Regardless of what he thinks about some of the things he said about women, the fucking intelligence of that, the whole thing that he did, we're getting people to like, TikTok, and stuff, and go viral. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he did, yeah, he was fucking the genius of that. Yeah, my 12 year olds asked me about him. Really? Yeah. What'd you say? Well, I said, that's the top G, baby. Well, I mean, I said what I know about him. I said he was legit kickboxer. I knew him as a kickboxer. Okay. Oh, wait, was he, I didn't know he was like, oh, he's legit. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a legit kickboxer. Very good kickboxer. Yeah, he fought on infusion a bunch of times. Infusion was, um, there's a kickboxing card from counterfeit. I don't know, I'm not sure where I think from the UK Sorry, thanks man. The friend from Waterman used to do a commentary for it [34:10] Yeah, he was nice. That's what I never knew be a solid fighter really cuz I'm sorry. You have a tissue man I'm I'm happy. Yeah, my algae's picked up today. Oh crazy. Sorry about that. We're finding out the Negative parts of living here in Austin See your favorite baby. That's what they call it. It's already January. I mean this is... No, it's already been going on, yeah. How long does this go? Depends on who gets it. I get it bad dude. Do you? Yeah. I don't get it at all. Well, you're talking. Ah ha! You're talking, you're talking. Ah ha! Yeah, everybody keeps telling me one day you're gonna get it Mike okay now you won't get it man Fuck yeah, I did one year though. I had my throat was really sore. I was like what did this is what you do last a long time? So nothing allergies can make you like sick You didn't know and it comes back and yeah, that's what it's got me feel like you have a cold like my I think I think I did have a reaction one year to one particular thing that was in the air. [35:06] Where I was like, what the fuck is going on? This is a weird cold. Cause it didn't feel like I was sick. It doesn't go away. Also, it was a while. Did you call it a week? Jamie's dog stuck his tongue in my mouth. Maybe I'm allergic to dog's life. Sure. Oh, damn, you're allergic to yeah, well you know dogs I know not at all But I never had one put his tongue in my mouth so I never closing yeah, but your eyes are you're like you've got an allergic reaction Yeah, he's don't sure you know lurches dog. I think I might be now. Do you have a dog? Yeah, I have to They've never put their tongue in my mouth. That's what I'm like cat allergy Yeah, I'm making out with Carl. I want a larger reaction check at look at that space it'll go away. I'm also I get my voice back my body's all fucked up. I don't noise and it kiss it off. Yeah, dude You're fine My eyes just saw I'm so sorry to make this all about me I just freaked out you'll be right steroids to get your voice back loss my voice. Yeah for how long? [36:06] I've been losing it. I've been doing shows and I lose it every show. So then I took the print and zone all weekend because I literally had zero voice. Maybe there's a better way to talk. If you ever got like a vocal coach? No. Because you know what, be real from Cypress Hill. You told me went to a vocal coach. I might go. You know, he got that, you know, he's saying in the main right, he got that very specific stuff. He learned how to like use his, so he didn't burn his voice out. I also sing in my car full blast. I gotta stop doing that. I'm gonna do that. That's what it is. What do you say? It's watched, we watched, we might have watched it here when Matt sang in the holiday party at the mothership. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did you sing, I forget. On Shane Melody. We watched in the bell. Yeah. It was incredible. Me and my wife were fighting and then we both had karaoke songs come up and I'm like, we don't have time for this, let's go sing our karaoke. Ah! Then we got, we made up, those guys. [37:05] That's hilarious. They get a polio's water. You guys seem like they're getting better. They are, it's going, it's going, happens. I think it's the dog. He's probably, it's always in your, you had to blow your nose. He probably got, I did, it was someone who's in my nose. Got like, That dog that's a new dog dude you got a fucking weird dog Hopefully a body will fight it up so far. It's losing no This is a healthy immune response. So what kind of service it put you on for your throat? Prednisone. Oh, yeah, it makes you feel weird friend might have that forgot He had got you take friends. It's like a wander drug. Yeah works for boys and Ivy. Yeah, pretty tight Yeah, so did it fix it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I couldn't talk like I was I had no voice And I powered me through my last three shows. I was like were you trying to use your voice in the car singing even though you had no voice We were pushing a little bit. I did it today. Oh, no, what you saying today? I'm glad you couple bars Did everybody's talking my [38:01] What you saying? What you saying, dude? Everybody's talking my... Harry, Harry Nielsen. Oh boy. I know, I'm such a dickhead. I can't help it. It hits me right in the soul, dude. I'm like, I got it again. You got it, I have to say. Do you ever go like Axel Rose? You really fuck your voice up? No, I'll fuck his face trying to hit those notes. I that's not in my register. Axel road Yeah, but you know, it is what it is it'll come back eventually I've had like a I've had this problem for like three weeks straight Dude don't dare Jamie Matt bless you know here Dude I'm gonna lose my voice. Let's go Matt People stop and staring [39:00] I can't see the faces What are you doing? Only the shadows of their right. I'm done. I'm not saying. Change says you kiss that dog, dude. I'm saying that. Dude, you know the thing T-Pain did where he went on stage and just carried him. I might do that. He just did what? I didn't want to show you, you should sing. I'm going to start. T-Pain did, I mean behind him did his own songs and then just covered a bunch of songs uh... and put them out on instagram like dude i might just start becoming a professional singer fuck that you should sing at the end of your shows why would that? it's a good idea dude there's a guy named Barry Dimesh fuck good call there was a guy named Barry Diamond he used to perform with the comedy store and uh... funny comic he was in like that movie, Bachelorette Party with Tom Hanks. Oh my gosh. So anyway, he would open up his set by singing, walking in Memphis. Really? And you didn't know what was going on. He did the whole song. That's funny. He walked in in Memphis. He had a great voice. So he'd be singing it. And then he would go into his act pretty tight that's i had a single one time and i remember the company [40:07] what i got booked for uh... private comedy show way way long ago for it was like the mayor as a word of god i think it was like survived not the service of all good is like an old jewish like jesus he's saying it is a lot of it was like some sort of like people are not good it was a huge people when I bought bad his very done So nice You got to end with this though this is crazy He's incredible. Yeah That's I mean how do you follow? Yeah, I got to end with it. Oh, I and he would just go into comedy But he's like real silly as a community. Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah to watch him go from that to like silly comedy. Oh, it's got a photo. What was the benefit? [41:03] You did oh, I just he's it was like some sort of old Jewish foundation. I know what it's called, but they, I bombed. I was standing at a, what? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, to do stand up in a hotel. Yeah. I thought Jamie said that. I thought Jamie said that. Jamie said that. I can't believe Jamie said that. I was standing up at a podium to do stand up. And I was like 25th and I bombed so bad. I was like, you guys don't like this at all. And they're like, no. And I was like, what do you guys want me to do? And like, sing us a song. Wow I thank God, do you remember that bachelor party we did what's what song did you sing? Hell is for the way you look at me. That's all they asked for that one now. I was the only one I knew I just let them have it they like that they were pleased they were pleased those I could say factually those old Jews were please [42:00] Tap dancing for That's great bomb like bomb and so bad you have to be like all right. I gave up. What's a different performance? You guys hate this. Oh, one other. Comedy is the best. You just think about the power of dance. I was in the back of it. Like, that's a lot to change genres. I had to switch it up on this. Hey, the early days. You gotta do it. Yeah, I'm just 175. Just switch straight to miming. I should have. Miming to ladies. I know magic. Magic rule. Hit him with fucking, I can juggle. You can't follow magic. It's all, all right. Good magic. How do you follow magic? You know the worst kind of comedy to follow is musical comedy. Yeah, it'd be tough. Somebody does like funny songs, you're fucking doomed. Yeah. You're doomed, son. Yeah. And it's frustrating, because a lot of times of funny songs, just like an average joke, but somebody's playing a guitar with it. There was a guy that was a legend in New England. He used to do dirty jokes. He used to be on Dr. Demento all the time. But he used to do dirty, God, I can't remember his name. But he was like a famous guy who did like dirty songs [43:09] And he would fucking sell out everywhere. Yeah, it's funny And if you did a show with him you could never go on after You're a dude. Yeah, you were fucking doomed. You're gonna bomb you imagine if you had to follow like Wheeler walk a junior Oh my god. Yeah, no chance Yeah, because it's two things going on. It's funny and he's good. Yeah, he's good. There's funny. There's music. Yeah, it's hilarious You could you could repeat it. It's still funny. It also like Joins a crowd together differently too. Yeah, you just play music the whole crowd kind of congeals and totally different vibe You go see a good concert. It's like you're fucking in tune with everybody. Yeah a really good concert with someone's killing it. Yeah, and someone comes all in there like, I'm fucking jerk off here. You guys are for jack off? Yeah. Shit. Shit, just straight in the... Yeah. Yeah. So my girlfriend broke up with me. Her girlfriend's a bitch. You guys jack off. [44:00] Fuck. Fuck all sings. Anyway. Fuck you, my friends. Fuck all sings. Anyway. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. Fuck you, man. The shows you do when you start me as the me and him did it. Oh god. They hired a helium hired us to do a bachelor party. Me and Matt just stood in front of a table of like nothing. We went to a restaurant with the bachelor party and in the middle of dinner they were like all right comedy. We stood at the head of the table for like 10 people to it. Oh my god. It was fucking crazy and it was like a sober bachelor party. Oh no. It was fucking crazy. And it was like a sober batch of party. Oh no. Yeah. Slipper was sad. And we had not, we had just started doing comedy. Like we were bad at comedy. Oh no. And I just did just material. I went up there and did like straight 10 minutes of no mic material. Just flat line. And I'm like, oh, I'm telling you, now I was like, let's both do it. I'll help. [45:05] I was dying, dude. And then yeah, you went up and just did the sensible thing of talking and figuring out what's up with that. Yeah, I was like, this is weird, why are we doing this? I just fucking, you guys hired me and Matt. Did you humiliate ourselves? Ah! I did a Black Lady Mother's Day show in North Philly. This guy just hired me to do comedy in front of a brunch for just for real like 14 black ladies for Mother's Day. Same thing, I just stood at the head of the table. It was crazy. Just died. And they were just being very nice. They're like, you're doing great. That's kind of cool. In the middle of just a Mother's Day brunch. Would you switch stuff up at all or like? Oh no. Oh, so you guys like races? That's all I got. I got one pitch. All right, that's ball. Yeah, those shows are very fun though. [46:01] They teach you something though that don't you mean, what other art forms allow you to start out like that? Where you realize like there's no real structure to this at all. In terms of like how you can make money doing it. How do you, how do you become a professional? I mean, look, you guys are both like legit professionals now and you started that way. I did too. Yeah, it's how it starts. I did I did batch parties and no microphone. Yeah, I did a couple of crazy. They're terrible. It's hell. I still I just figured out how it worked like three years ago I didn't know I thought for real like I was like you'll just do it and then someone like here's the bunch of money You're so it's like no you have to like sell to people still do Corporate gigs that shouldn't do corporate. I ran it out of Sandler at the airport. And I was like, what's up? What do you do? He's like, dude, I just did the worst fucking gig of my life. Really? He was like, Bob so hard. He's just ripping his horse. He's so bad. They just paid him a lot of money to do this thing. Yeah, sure. But he was laughing about it. He's I bombed this week. I bombed it in the little boy. Oh, no. I bombed so badly that I had people there with me [47:09] We were gonna go do something after and I was like I'm gonna do one show and then we'll go I state I was like I got to stay for the late show I did so I sweat I was sweating I'm so fucking bad that I was sweating. I was like what is happening? I I brought so fucking bad that I was sweating. I was like what is happening? Yeah, I sat on the balcony with Adam Egett and like I was like I got to change everything Dude, I'm the late show is fun. Those are fucking good for you. They are They are some of my best moments in my my comedy has been after really bad sets Because then I just like really focus. Yeah go. God. I've been fucking up. Sometimes where'm obviously did something. Yeah. Yeah. That was the first I haven't done new material in a while I had to yeah after that first show as a guy new jokes. Yeah. Yeah, and it worked It was nice did you know yeah, you did like some refreshers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, comedy is just a wild fucking thing And it's just nobody can tell you how to do it. Nobody knows exactly how you should do it and it's embarrassing [48:02] Nobody can tell you how to do it. Nobody knows exactly how you should do it. And it's embarrassing. Bombs are good. Bombs are good. Bombs are good. Bombing it a Mother's Day and then walking outside and it's one PM. That's tough. Dude, when you walk outside and it's still sunny after you bomb, it's a crazy and you're North Philly. Oh no. What the fuck am I doing with my life. And you're thinking about your future. Because your future is not a given. There's a lot of guys we started out with that are gone. Yeah. Oh yeah, no. Well, it's also that's the thing about comedy is where it's like with bombing. Like good comics will be like, yeah, you need that. Yeah. So then there's guys that are just fucking bombing. True. And then like this is part of the all part of the process. Yeah, yeah, keep some around I bomb there I do I do like to do to bomb every fucking time. They don't give a fuck to kind of tight I mean it's admirable. There's bros that bomb for 10 straight years. Yeah, that's not good There's a lot of fighters like that too. They just keep getting out. Yeah, that's not good They shouldn't find another thing to do. Yeah, true. Boy, you're just not going to be good at anything. That's not also possible. [49:06] There's certain people that just never get good at anything. Get their thing, yeah. Whatever it is, no matter what it is, they just, they lack something. That's fucking rough. That's rough. You're like, maybe you'll see video games. You just get fucking murdered. Yeah even comments on YouTube. They actually are good at that. And I'll tell you what, those are effective. Yeah, those things will absolutely stretch you. Fuck a weak up for me. Yeah. I try to do like a thing where I'm like, I understand your feeling, I'll end my head up like he's just very upset right now. But yeah, they'll get you thinking like, it's not a thing. Yeah, that's a bad, it's a bad, although they're like a part of the whole YouTube ecosystem. Or like if you catch enough bad ones sometimes you'll go, maybe I can think about something. Yeah, maybe I am an asshole. I don't think about something. Or, you know, I don't know, it's tough because you don't want to be like, nobody can tell me shit. But then sometimes you'll read them and you're like, I don't have to deal with this's that? You don't know who you're talking to. You don't know who you're talking to. You don't know who you're talking to. [50:05] You can be talking to the biggest fucking moron that works at 7-Eleven. You can be talking to the biggest moron. Of course. It's just like you're like, oh, dude, that's so true. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. you don't even have to be like a headliner You could be just like a middle act that has a career You can get hate. Yeah, you'll go through you'll read all the comments a bit I saw I saw him as fucking opener sucked Whatever his name was I hated him. Yeah, you're always gonna get those well sometimes You can like have someone on the podcast and you just watch everyone like fuck that guy sucks so bad. You're just like goddamn room. So that sucks Yeah, yeah, if I was a if I was certain people would not want to read comments after their guess on podcasts No, man, that's you know, you can tell when it fucks their head too I think it gets everybody I think everyone a little bit. I think you may be get better. [51:05] I'm better and better now. I can take it now. It's not as much of a shock, but I need giving day. I can rerun him. That's what I think. I'm like, I got it under control. I'm fine. They come up with new ones. And then you find one. They do come up with new ones. bitches. It's part of that. That's also part of the process, right? Developing the ability to just not be affected by that. It's true. Snake venom. Yeah. Yeah. Get a little little doses of. Well, because you can also get like conflicting messages where like, awesome. You're the fucking worst piece of shit in the world and you're like, yeah, you have to stop. Like, what am I? I'm probably somewhere in the middle. I just an average fucking idiot who's got better grammar. Oh the guy likes me spells right. Yeah That's right you're fucking comma dude. This guy's on the ball. That's true too If you see a lot of typos in the comment you think they do move on Go back to school brother get out of here. You can't even spell No, you criticize [52:00] Matthew would you please hit me a butt like absolutely? Absolutely. Absolutely. Wow. What a fucking beard dude Some about it dude. It's I met the Cloddale's Did you really you had to meet horses? I had to meet some horses Mm-hmm, then I got I got really responsible. It was in New Orleans. I got extremely responsible around the horse Around the horse and then I called my dad and he didn't answer it was late. And I was like, I've met horses. I left him like a voice man. I was like, Dad, it was a good time in New Orleans. I saw horses. I met the clad's day. He's like Jesus Christ. Oh my God. That's a big fucking horse, right? It's the biggest fucking horse I've ever seen. Yeah, they're jacked. Its head was the size of me. They're a lot bigger than Big O'Harsers, right? Cloudsdale's? Cloudsdale's are especially the amyzer bush one with their gigantic ears. Jesus Christ. And I'll tell you, they're big everywhere. If you know what I'm talking about. Big crack. It's acting. What's acting? There it Yeah, holy shit. Look at the size of that horse. Dude, it's head for real is a size of huge [53:07] You're a big dude. Yeah, that's that's like maybe people need to recognize like how tall you I'm six three So he's six three look how big that fucking horses yeah that horse is back is like five ten. Yeah, it's a that's insane It's crazy. What's a book? How much bigger are they than a regular horse because like what get the top of his head Their horseshoes their their shoes are like It's crazy of regular ones like that. He looks so big like who does head? It's so scary His head looks like half of your body. I brought I brought cam with me for this tour. So it's me and camp Patterson All right enough Jamie Maybe a fucking cell out, huh? Uh huh. Please. You fucking, so it came. So it was a fucking, like, yeah, man. Me and Cam got in there and they were showing us the Clydesdale's and there's like a lady giving us like the details of all the ho- which was obviously very interesting. Like how much they fucking eat and everything literally as soon as we walked in we looked at that. Thanks fucking jargon I'm trying to listen to this tour guide and I'm literally standing like [54:15] It's fucking dick is big oh my god look at look out the size of a computer regular horse holy shit Holy shit, they're so big. Get that one. They showed originally the left hand lower left hand quarantine. Yeah, look at that one. Doggy bro. That's crazy. Holy fuck. And the whole time. Every time you see how big that thing is. They're always like these horses are very gentle. They're the nicest horses and I'm sure they are. But when you're standing next to that thing, you're like, dude, that thing could do horses and I'm sure they are. But when you stand next to that thing you're like, dude, that thing could do anything and I'm dead. What is that a Viking horse? Is that what the Vikings used? What is that? I have no idea. Yeah, why was this so big? I don't know, because they're a German company, so. Clivesdale? It's got a sky. Yeah, yeah. Why are they so big? I loved it now. Yeah, I mean like what they they must have select freedom to make them [55:09] Yeah, what's an eyes are bushes horse division like is they you would think they're into like horse raising to Toronto horses I don't know because they're that's like I was part of the business is they keep horses yeah, they have like a good didn't shoot any of them after everything went how They would never shoot the horses They I'm just wondering That's what happens if people go poor now the shoe horses start eating them how dare you dude not my company They fired like a lot of people. I was wondering if they shot in your horses here. Just put them on a horse and spend your question Yo, and I ain't eyes are pushed. Oh, you're right. They own the rights to diesel engines Bro, I know it's funny. It's such an expensive joke. You brought blood back. The horses, yeah, they're very proud of those fucking horses too. Look, not to be a corporate chill. You see those clad sales? It's exciting. [56:01] You see that pulling the fucking inhives of bush cart? That's why they use them in commercials. Yeah, it's a very exciting thing. Yeah, so sick. Look at that. Yeah Didn't meet the fucking Dalmatian though. I was sad about that. What brother? They even look real. They're so big. They don't look real Yeah, look fucking crazy. Is that like a ceremony? Like is that like the ceremonial? Yeah, it's pretty cool with the end of prohibition They fucking wrote those things right down. Pennsylvania Avenue and gave the president a case of Budweiser. Wow. Pretty sick. I forgot how long prohibition was. It was a while, dude. It's like a decade at least. Yeah. And everyone was getting wrecked, dude. No one stopped drinking at all. Dude. But why? that's one of the few things that's ever been made like that that was rescinded yeah I think and prohibition is the big lesson to it's the big lesson also. It's because the rise the mafia Prohibitions the rise of the NASCAR That came to it, though. Yeah, yeah, those are cars that they souped up to get away from cops what yeah [57:02] That's the origins of now car. Yeah. Moonshine, our son. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. It is wild. It is wild to think of the end of Prohibition. They drove and gave a case a beer to the president. I think if they legalized weed, bring Biden some weed. Just drop the ass off. Yeah, so I think you can didn't he just snaps out of it. And he's like, oh boy, you know, I just meant so foggy. Whoa. But now I'm getting it. How the fuck did he let me be president? I don't even know where my underwear are. What the fuck? It's, yeah, it's crazy man. There's no way they can get it. They can't be serious about running them again. Oh yeah, he's gonna be crazy. He's not. They're just gonna keep him on testosterone and Adderall and people are gonna vote for him no matter what. Dude, he's fine dude. He's fine, it's gonna be fun. He's the best. So who's making that decision though? It's not him. Me, the government calls me. Just say what he thinks, so you're running him again. Let's see what's up. See how he does. This could be the second term could you really be land more I could be like historic [58:09] He's gonna really come back around. He's gonna make improvements. Oh, yeah Whatever they're gonna get him on the right meds for sure. They need to get him. He's gonna bounce back He's gonna build back better. They should just keep him alive forever start giving him like artificial body parts and He'll just be our emperor supreme Out of any problems with anything you just said. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what we're doing. We need someone to inspire us, man. Yeah. I want an inspirational president. I want to get pumped. I don't have a picture of my grandfather at JFK, and he put him on his wall in his kitchen. I have no president to like... If only there was a good candidate out there. Dude, that's what I'm saying. Need that boy out there. You like Bobby? Yeah, I love him, man. I want to win so fucking bad. That's what he's gonna win. Why? I want to win. I wanted to win so bad. It's like, yeah, do you know what I love? The temple owls. I think this year we're gonna He sent me this thing today. No, if that's Bobby. On O's Ampick. Tucker Carlson had this guy who used to work [59:07] for pharmaceutical company on his show today, or the episode out today. And it's a lot of it is about O's Ampick, about how many people are being prescribed O's Ampick. Are there handing it out like nothing, too? It's kind of wild. It's kind of wild because I's I think it's it's gonna be one of the most profitable drugs ever Do they know what's gonna happen to you after you take it cuz people have been taking it I got a feeling there's no way that works. That's what I'm dude people have been taking it for a long time There's like well we've used this for diabetes. I felt that way about literally every single I know dude Dude SSR like people were like you should depress those like you do definitely I was like, yeah dude, definitely. I'm like, take this and I know. Third terrible, they turned out to be awful, dude. The withdrawal from those things are catastrophic. People have severe bio intestinal sort of things happen with them, if they have a bad side effect. Gastural intestinal. [1:00:00] Nums you're genitals? Nums you can get Nums genitals, dude. Brian Simpson had a real bad reaction to it. Really? Yeah, real bad. That sucks Bryan's sad. Yeah, his stomach was just jacked. But some people have it. Some people take it and it's no problem at all. Yeah, but we try to get off of them. It's like, you have like a headache and brain zaps for like a month. What? What do What would you go when Jamie in a Ken sam big burned off my genitals? I found pieces of charts I know the to maybe maybe some other things are going on Fuck no, Zempick is that real? Dr. Maria's Oh my god she got severe burns and charge skin vagina, anus, and buttocks owing to once-weekly jabs. She's a professor of pharmacology, health and pharmacology health at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley, pen to testimony on her ozemic use to newsread. [1:01:02] So she's obviously very smart. Yeah. She's an ozemicic toe that pussy up. That's all. Oh my god. She said I checked my genitals. What's his name? It's not over his name's ozempic. She said I just ozempic. Fucking rocked my anus. My anus fell off. I took a shit. My anus fell off. God damn it. Some areas that charred skin fine. She said it was as if she was exposed to sunlight for days She's Because everybody wants to be skinny man. Yeah, man. She looks great and dude everyone's on I know a lot of people going on this stuff Like broke can you imagine no? No, I'm not talking about this particular woman sure But if you brought home a lady Mm-hmm, and she had a charred anus and vagina You like what happened I used to be fat. You go, arid. She's been in hot now. Here's a picture of me when I was 250. I'm like, whoa, how'd you do this? All's on work. My butt fell off, but... [1:02:00] I think you're fine. We could do other stuff. Yeah. Yeah. You could be mouth-played. Things you find we could do other stuff. Yeah, yeah mouth play My whole spell my whole to ride fucking holds fell off, but it's fine. Are you into mouth play? Sorry, I know that's not great, but saying mouth play in hand plays What are you fucking Googling dude? What are you on, Jamie? What happened? I just keep going down the article in the way I like it. It still hurts when I have to urinate or defecate. It often starts peeling again because of the friction said the survivor, the handler survivor. This might be her lawyer might have wrote all those. On a very strict diet, not taking any medication this moment of time, but this will change in a few weeks. Whereas I want to heal before I start again with any medication and do this trick diet. My level of glucose is thankfully under control. She still supports it, which is nice. She still laws the injections for lowering her blood sugar. Well, that's what it's for, right? It's a diabetes drug. [1:03:00] Damn, that's fucking wild. I think one of the side effects is like stomach paralysis or something like that all of the side effects You guys just said depression gastro and gastroprobes I Be depressed. Yeah. Yeah, that's dude. That's fucked up. Yeah, it's a weird thing man because it's like yeah You shouldn't be obese and I think it's something like 50% of the country chain Some big deal is this big any people fuck you Joe 50% of the country, chain. It sounds ridiculous. It's beginning to be people. Fuck you Joe. Yeah, it's rising. It's gonna be... Did you lose any weight doing the car or were dying? Uh, yeah. The 12 days I did it. Yeah. The 12 days, man. That was easy when it fired. Yeah, I mean, I had vicious diarrhea, so I did it. Shit, I thought that was it. Me and I mean me and Matt's crazy. We got it with him. It was fucking crazy astonishing right the diary was shit my pants I shit my boxers once. I was in bed and I shit my fucking That's what you need to eat a bowl of rice. Yeah, dude. You hit a one diarrhea You got all right. I'm taking these little Hershey kids. Something happens though after a while your body figures it Oh, man. It's it was 16 days in you took me about two weeks [1:04:05] I remember Thompson girl texted me said this diarrhea is astonishing. It is truly astonishing diarrhea. It was water. I had water. It was like black oil. Yeah, it was like oil water. But it didn't smell bad though. I don't know what. Nothing. There's nothing there's just like water. Yeah. Yeah. Viggins would tell you it's all toxins. Very other toxins coming out. I started missing big I've, I started missing big dumps. Yeah, I think your body just, dumps your back on the menu and I'll tell you what, I'm having the time of my life. Dude, I learned I'm a bit of a size queen, dude. I didn't like those little fucking, sorry, it's coming out. Little pebble dumps. Yeah, I was just, I couldn't agree more. You She did a lot of kale just a horse pie. I got some kale in the fridge right now I'm a lot of kale before you eat your food really I told myself I got all that yeah all that rough agent fiber I told myself I'm just gonna eat vegetables. I got off that diet I picked out so hard and gained all the way back right away I was like I was totally disciplined on it. I'm like all that in veggies. I'll be good day one off of of it. How did you feel when you're on it? I felt good. I did feel good. I was a little of a [1:05:07] subject the first couple days. Yeah. Yeah. The first night we did stand up. Yeah, I was weird. I'm like out of it. Yeah. But the keto stuff. I like the feeling but I get like weeks into it I start feeling kind of like loopy, but I don't think I was eating enough either I was like I don't know You got yeah, you get you get sick of eating so sick of me I just don't eat you like I made a rack of ribs and looked at him and I was like I can't do it I can't eat them. I was so sick of meat. They have so funny. It was weird. I have zero problem having a mayor Lamar lives with me now that was not helpful for the diet mmm Like 2 a.m. It'd be like, alright I'm ordering pizza and you're not gonna fuck her. Yeah dude. I was looking at that side. I was making pancakes in my house in the morning for my kids just looking at them like, fuck, it's so weird how the most desirable foods were all terrible for you. I know. They're most desired, like a plate of lasagna, like smell it, like, oh yeah. A good pizza right out of the oven like oh gee right when you're about to take that bite and you feel that [1:06:06] Warm cheese Beyond Me and Lamar ate some dejorno last night while we were watching cops. How was it shit rock? So you get the frozen shit? I we usually don't but you know is what's the best throat? What's the one that you could cook from for sure? Jorno's fucking good is it yes? It was It was especially, I mean, if you're eating Jorno, you're black. You're a chill. Yeah, chill, chill. No, we're not going well. They kill more, those pizzas probably kill more people from the house fires. You're fucking nutrition's on them. From the house fires. Oh, yeah. Black out and put those things in the oven Did you know the reading calls that? You didn't know? I think you'll hold blocks and problems. There's, it for real. There's no, yes. That has to happen non-sub. We were close. Yeah, how many of the people eating frozen pizzas are drunk? What's the percentage? If you're sobering a frozen pizza, you're a fucking loser. I'll be on the record for that. It's just pedophiles eating them. Pedophiles eating them pedophiles are so reading frozen [1:07:09] You're not kind of when you're eating one of those you have had a lot of eyes If you ever try to make your own pizza you ever do the pizza oven thing I yeah, I worked at a restaurant We were doing that. I'm not good at it, but now you have a nice yard like maybe you get a little pizza oven would be nice guys, I'm not doing anything. Your cold journey is going to make Xbox and I see you for some that hard. I can see you little. Oh yeah. I got on the French mozzarella. I'm never gonna be a basil. I've accepted who I am. Clicking blood light watching it. Turning it. Dude cooking is a serious great joy of life. Learning at a cook is a genuine great cook of life learning. I get you in a making pizza's bro You can use like non GMO organic yeah, flower some Italy flower. Yeah flowers trade from Italy with no fucking herbicides in it Now I'm gonna I'm gonna follow the play Xbox and DoorDash whole day [1:08:04] And then go to the show. That's it. Well, that's my schedule every day. That's a solid idea. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just gotta tight. I just you though. Yeah, you need I need someone to go you have to do it This when you tell me if you're like I can't make it today. I'm literally I'm waking up looking my phone going I really like working out guys, but I also really like working out by myself going nuts Yeah, yeah, just for me. It's like it's a good time where there's nothing nothing going on just me doing the routine You've been working out. Yeah, of course. You motherfuckers. What are you talking about? I always work out. I'm not gonna ever stop working out. You've been saying I can't work out today. You're working out. I couldn't do certain things. Yeah. I hurt my back for a little bit. Oh. It wasn't bad though. It was a muscle weeks later It was fine. That's full. I am ready to get back though. I need it. Yeah, let's go. Okay. All right [1:09:10] Yeah, no slackers Yeah, I need it Brian Simpson likes to leave early. Oh, I got a meeting Brian Simpson always has a meeting One every fucking time we work out he gets that what I was the best the son of Whole literally he gets out Oh fuck my phone Such a dick I gotta take a piss yeah I don't know I was like I'll take a whiz right now Good to go in, good to go in, good luck I'll take a whiz right now. I'm gonna take a whiz, I'm gonna take a whiz. I'm gonna take a whiz. Good luck. Thank you. Don't. I won't play with you, it'll be cool. Don't bring up anybody in particular. I'll be cool. I'm not good with you. Come on, bro. We're fine. We're not gonna talk about horses. Did the panagas face we were They are fucking impressive though. They're fucking amazing man. [1:10:06] I have no idea of that. I kinda knew. I don't think I'd ever seen one next to a regular horse before. I did not know they're that big either. They're dwarfed from the regular horse. I'm scared of horses man. I got fucked off of one when I was little. Oh no. We had like, I grew up next to, so I was one of six. My cousins were one of 10 and my dad and my uncle bought like a piece of land outside of Philadelphia like it's like a ruler area got built up now but I grew up next to like 10 I had 10 cousins that we'd all just like fuck around there was behind it there was a guy who rented land off of us he had horses so I was always like we cut through the horse place to get to the woods and like dude they'll charge you and shit they're scary yeah I'm still to this day terrified of him we used to ride them the wonders went nuts and it's bucked me off and I was like fuck this dude I mean I get it I think riding them looks awesome but whenever you're riding an animal like you're on an animal like hang on to an animal yeah yeah it's like this could be side like fuck this guy and this thing could kill me. Friend of mine was in a trail of horses [1:11:07] where they were going into like this deep mountain elk hunt and one of the horses fell. It broke its leg and they had to shoot it right then and there. Really? Yeah. Oh, because they can't get it back. They can't get it back and they don't heal. Really? Yeah, they shoot horses. Damn, I didn't know the horses break their leg, they shoot them. Jesus. Yeah. I didn't know they didn't heal. They don't heal. Yeah, they never totally heal. And I think there's probably, you know, this is quite a few years ago. There's probably methods that they use now. Do they, can they heal horses? They definitely can't run again. Like if it's a race horse, they break their legs back to it. They'll never run again. But yeah, they had to shoot this horse. My buddy was on this wilderness trail, and the horse fell. It snapped its leg. They blasted it in the head. They shoot it, you can see that the race track? No, they did. [1:12:00] The horse breaks his leg. They'll bring out like a tarp on the track and hide it from the crowd and just inject it. Yeah. Yeah. That's hard. I mean, I don't know how often they're still doing that, but that was just what they did. It probably do, yeah. Yeah. Ball and sock. They break too easy. Yeah. They break so easy. They dig so long to heal. Yeah. They just shit design. That's why we have to accept the new, when we get AI, when you're going to get a new body, you're going to get some titanium frame. That'd be sick. Yeah. When is that stuff coming? Unlike humans, horse has heavy bones and light leg bones. This is the way heavy bodies rather in light leg bones. This is the way they've developed many breeds, especially the thoroughbreds, when bones break they may often shatter. And it's almost impossible, surgically reconstruct the fractured leg. While humans have some large muscles in a bit of tissue below the knee that helps stabilize a broken bone, along with a cast, a horse has very little muscle and hardly any [1:13:00] other tissue besides tendons, ligaments, blood vessels, and some nerves below the knee. Oh wow. The lack of muscle and other tissue means that even in a cast, the broken bone has little to support it. And it's much harder to prevent a horse from using its broken leg to bear weight. Wow. Kill it. So they have to shoot it. Yeah, to kill it. Wow. They figured out some stuff, but that's why that's been the most common way to handle it. Compound fractures were broken bone penetrates the skin, have a much poorer prognosis, and are less likely to heal successfully without complications. So, it's cases are likely to be euthanized, particularly if blood supply to the legs has been compromised. So, it's as repaired, the less complicated the fracture fracture the more likely the horse will recover Oh, so there are some that recover green stick and stress fractures are incomplete fractures And these can usually be treated successfully simple fractures where there's one clean bake break or more likely to heal Successfully than shattered bones Yeah, you got to kill them. Hmm. It stinks got you to then you guys bring up youth in ace [1:14:03] You imagine tearing a ligament 500 years ago You're dead. Yeah, you mean even during the call of your days during the the back in those days Yeah, Bobby or used to work out at this gym that I worked out when I was 19 That's awesome and he walked in and he can't he couldn't straighten his legs So he had a walk with like legs permanently. And he'd play like racquetball. That's one of his knees. What the fuck? Probably old number four. Bro, they just cut his knees all over the place. Oh man. Just covered in scars. Back then, man, the surgery was terrible. And you didn't really recover. Yeah. You never really the same again. Yeah, if you if you like Pulled your meniscus and you're like a hunter gather there just probably leave you Probably fucked. Yeah, you just walk through it. You just dealt with you know, I'm fine pain. Yeah, true Yeah, maybe that too. He just dealt with excruciating pain forever Fuck that sucks. Yeah [1:15:00] If you were lucky If you were lucky to get a eaten by a jaguar, cat, cat, cat, you snatched it by your neck, drags you up a tree. Yeah, that was the majority of human history was just brutal, violent death. Well that's why people all day every day. Little kids are scared of monsters. What experience did they have with monsters? No, they know. That represents animals that will eat you, that's wolves. Yeah, it's a station. Yeah Baby turtles are scared of hawks. That's what's gonna happen. It's about four years. What's gonna happen wolves wolves everywhere No electricity Small packs of people isn't that gonna be kind of cool and together right I think that would be second. Second grade goes down. No idea how bad it's going to be. It's going to be bad, but like dude, you get your juices, here's the thing, you're not going to be like bored and like who's the point. I'm going to kiss you. First of all, there will be no problem. Second grade goes down. If the power goes out of my house, I'm going to down that door. I'm gonna get a generator. You better. I need more. You better charge that thing, cause I'm coming. [1:16:06] Just imagine if just, maybe life stays exact and the same, they figure out a way to get us food, they figure out a way to get us gasoline, but there's no electricity. You can drive around, but there's no electricity, no social media, no internet. So the 80s. just imagine that right now imagine that right now be nice But the world would be in a fucking turmoil. No, no what to do. Oh, yeah, what do I do? What's real? What's going on? I got to read the newspaper? What? Yeah, there's no electricity So you can't even watch TV There's no TV at all we should try it for like a month have like the whole country just go off for a to see that they would even be able to do the news. I don't have the machines to do the newspaper like you used to do it for the electricity so they wouldn't even have the newspaper. Yeah. Well, they're clamping down on Facebook and stuff now again, I think. They've been trying to like get them forever. Oh, yeah, they were trying to like the government's like, looking at social media, I would say a couple things. [1:17:05] One, if you're protecting people, the fucking, the thing that's valuable, no one knew was valuable. Everybody consented to give away their information, but nobody ever thought data was a commodity. That had never been a thing in human history. The data was insanely valuable and then the people who have that data now with all that money have this insane ability to donate to get what are you doing Jamie? Showing you what they're doing for. Oh, more than 40 states and districts of Columbia filed lawsuits against Med of the parent company of Facebook, Instagram or WhatsApp. The Facebook and Instagram deliberately manipulate their apps in ways to addicted kids and teens and have failed to keep them off despite age limits. Here's the thing though. Why is it their responsibility? Just like why is it porn hubs responsibility to make sure that you're 18? Yeah. If you have a kid, it's supposed to be your responsibility to see what the kid's doing, right? [1:18:02] But unless you have to use your ID every time you sign up and they have to verify your age, that's good. They do that in Louisiana. Do they? Yeah, I tried to jack off in Louisiana. Yeah. You're gonna make sure you're gonna be in. You're gonna be in, get on. You're gonna be in, get on. You can't get on the sights on Utah. You dig up some OG sites. Stop, come on. You have to dig up with the OG porn sites, yeah. Yeah, I dig deep and I'll tell you what, you can go fucking off the grid porn sites. You use a VPN? No. You should use a VPN. Oh, that's a good idea, actually. Yeah, she used one. It's a great idea. It's a VPN, easy. Yeah. One click, you're anywhere else. Ooh, do you think I can use it to bet somewhere else maybe? Not just. I don't know. I know that this is your sponsor. I know that this is your sponsor. I'm gonna use it to bet somewhere else. I think there are sponsors. There are sponsors. I know people have used it to collect Pokemon. [1:19:01] I'm gonna look up all types of stuff. It's like Pokemon. Yeah, they've clicked Pokemon's places where they weren't really there. I know people use VPNs to bypass countries, like Netflix is like United States Netflix. You can go to the UK Netflix. You can go to Asian Netflix. You can go to whatever you want. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Fuck, I think there are spots or two actually. Yeah. Shit, I love them. I never bet somewhere else. That's another thing that was impossible. Now it's everywhere. Betty was impossible back in this. Yeah, like fucking 10 years ago. Yeah. My dad was a... Everyone did, everyone had. What am I doing? That's good. He snitch on my fucking dad. Nobody, almost you guys have it. What the fuck am I snitching on him for? There was a whole MMA organization that existed before bedding went down. And I think part of their business model was bedding. [1:20:00] Yeah. It was Bow Dog. That's something big fights. It had Fade-Or fight for Bow Dog. Hooray, Mosvedall fought for them. Like some big fighters. I think Chale Sun and fought for them. And they had fights like on a beautiful beach in Costa Rica with like hot ring car girls walking around. And they had the fights outside of like world class fighters. Damn, it's too high. Fighting outside. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, some one and I think I'm pretty sure that was the the business model was about gambling That makes sense. I saw a common England had it before us I watched soccer and like soccer teams jerseys would have just like bet dot com Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it's coming. There's another thing the international pool tour They had to sit the similar situation. Yeah. This big, like, multi-hundred-thousand dollar, like, three hundred-four hundred-thousand dollars for the winners for these tournaments, which is huge for pool players. But it was all about online gambling and then the online gambling. They killed that. They put the kabasha on that. Really? Yeah, they fucked up everything for just telling people what they can and can't gamble [1:21:02] on. Yeah. telling people what they can and can't gamble on. So it's like my same feeling about like this meta thing. It's like I get it. Yeah, the algorithms are designed to keep you engaged, but they keep you engaged with what you're interested in. That's the thing. It's like they're saying they're shoving you, only news from one source and that, yeah, but that's not their responsibility, I don't think, to provide, they're not a news distributor if you're only into Q&A They're gonna send you fucking Q&A on check you gonna get a lot of Q&A Yeah, I mean I'm sure we've talked about something happen with the algorithm lately. What's going on all these? I don't know I mean it oh With the violin stuff all this stuff. Oh God. That's just I don't get it Instagram really is coming. I'll start saying I'll put you on the the one to me and to girl. I don't want to see that. Oh my god We have has done that to me like twice Day we did every day the second you see Arabic in the fucking description of the other [1:22:01] No, I've seen so many people get shot really. I don't know my god over the last month I've probably seen a hundred people get shot No bullshit factory workers multiple times the factory workers That was a dozen horrible. Oh, you're seeing the industrial accidents. Oh my god You don't know the industrial building's falling on people People sliding a scooter under a truck getting dragged by the truck Everything you name it guys getting cut in half by trains the buddies pulling the arms. Yeah, it's no good Intrills are hanging out. Yeah, no So much just like he threw his friend under the bus and he fell over and over again On Insta VN last night with on Instagram last night. With horrible shit. Last night he was like, oh no. Like as soon as I got in the club, I was like, I need scary footage. And then he was like, oh no, everyone's gonna see me fall and I was like, I'm doing Rogan tomorrow. He was like, oh no. No. [1:23:00] I was like 10 million people at least. Oh. It has I was like 10 million people at least. It adds to his charm though. Yeah, that's what I was telling about. It adds to his charm, man. He's the funniest guy I haven't. Everybody shits their pants and everybody's fallen. Exactly. Yeah, I shit my pants just last week. They really? The thought I was gonna fart in my house. I felt it come out wet. I was like, you son of a out the drawer. Oh, that's not cool. So I'm on my way to do a podcast. Oh, shit my pants. Shit you call it. I can't, I'm lame. I can't, I'm lame. I like, we rinse them off in the sink. Yeah, I'm usually good about sharks. Yeah, I guess you have to. Yeah, true. I usually can like, sometimes I No, I didn't one time I was coming home for fear factor and I just I was You know battle It was cramped in the light filled my pants [1:24:01] Filled like where I immediately felt it in my socks I mean it feels like where I immediately felt it in my socks Like right away. I was like oh good Lord I mean it it rocked out of my ass Underwear was about as effective as our border wall it went down my legs I felt in the back of my legs instantly. Oh Christ it was an explosion. I was holding I was holding back as long as I could. If you released it. It was like, you're changing off of a bridge. And you realize you can't pull yourself up. You're just like, oh, that's it. Where, what? How far was it in my car? I do not remember. I just remember being in my car and just unloading on my SUV seats. Oh. Oh. And Alexis, Alexis SUV, I just filled that front seat up. Shit. How did you clean that out? What was the process? I took it to the car wash, bro. Oh my God. I cleaned it out myself and then I brought it to the car wash and get it detailed. [1:25:01] I didn't tell them I shit myself. That's absolutely right. I got that car on. Cool. What I didn't tell them I shit myself Hopefully a leather seats man leather seats are other we're leather good. Let's go for dumps cloth Cloth and cloth boy gets in that foam. It's I'm saying never come down Do do in your foam over you got to cut that foam Dude, if someone throws up in your car, it smells forever. You gotta burn it and say, uh, caught on fire. And then bring it to the dealership. I did not shit myself. I did definitely shit myself, but I caught my front seat on fire. Fuck you. My friend shit himself at work when he worked together and he drove home like sneakily to like, change his pants. And she made him get untressed. He's like, it's a fucking embarrassing. Yeah, it's just embarrassing as a guest. He's getting hoesed by your mom because she's your pants. You're supposed to be. You're not gonna laugh. [1:26:00] He was like, garden hose. He was poured into the driveway. He kept some on it. He kept plastic. He kept some. He kept some. He kept some. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He kept some on it. He said he was in his driveway, saw his house and it just lost he's like I lost it It gets you the second you I was close to my house I drove the windows down Smelling my own shit for a solid 25 minutes Go through your head done like did you accept it? Where you like you don't accept it? I said oh I'm like what do you do I Had roots with diarrhea [1:27:01] Sick yeah, I must have been I don't remember I just I don't I remember is that feeling at the feeling of like knowing you're gonna lose So good though dude, dude, it's horrible. Let's give it in like I made it to the toilet. It would have been amazing dude It would have been one of the greatest victories in my career. I'm macgiving A bunch of like microdose mushrooms Took a more than I should and I was just on a walk. I was like I just have a nice walk around New York Dude I got like two blocks away and I was like my stomach just one I was like oh no dude I sprinted out Sprinted out Tommy was downstairs and heard me run up the steps and he was like, what the fuck was that? I've got some great victories in my shitting career. Yeah, that was one of the things we thought about. When you get to the ball, you're like, oh, the key works at the front door. Yes, yes, yes. You keep those muscles tight. Yeah. To get to the ball and you're one, you're quivering when you're pulling your pants down [1:28:09] Keep like it all weird buzzer The three pointers in the air time I got jammed in an Uber on the way to the airport It was like six in the morning and it just all the sun on the way. I was like oh fuck and I had like 20 minutes And I was in the lady's car like sitting on one ass. He was so bad, I had to look my ass up. And I was just letting out these like any fart. And I was like, I wanted to tell like I'm so, as I was shitting, I was farting in the back of her car. I'm like, no, I had to release pressure. And you're sitting sideways. Did you say sorry? No She looks back at your lawn I was at terminal C I was at terminal C and I'm like terminal A's fine Like where are you going? I got a terminal C and I got there my terminal A's fine Damn you jumped at the airport at the entrance We're all the homeless people going because anyone can get in I made it and I sat down and I saw there was no toilet paper [1:29:00] And I went fuck it and I had to just let it out Which is a good luckily dude toilet paper I went fuck it and I had to just let it out what you do luckily dude I Went in my school bag and my wife gave me Packet of clean x I saw him put it in my bag like weeks ago. I'm like dude. I don't leave that fucking shit in my bag She threw it in my bag and I went what an angel pulled the clean x out white my ass out so it was shit to it So I'm just gonna use in these robot toilets to clean your butt bro Bro. I get sad when I have to just wipe it. Because I know it's gross. It sucks dude, wiping your ass. It's gross, you just smear and shit all over yourself. All the way up. Yeah. You're like rubbing it to the point where you look at the tissue and it's reasonable. It's bad. There you go, I'm having it. Oh, fuck my ass, it just. Yeah The bad days are so nice. I got to put one on nice. I brought one from my old house And I try to connect it in the fucking water sprayed everywhere. So I got a higher professional. Yeah, I got to get a Bade. It's so nice dude in the fucking bathroom in the mother comedy club. Oh, yeah Dude didn't have one Shit in there. Yeah, I get every time I do stand I had I can't help it. There's a button says def defecate. Ever hit that button? Yes bro. Oh the button. That's a pipe cleaner. [1:30:06] I haven't dumped there. Why don't think. Dude, what does this say? North America through the 1700s, people were still wiping whatever they had on hand. Oh yeah. Most common things were corn cobs and seashells. Pause on the corn cobs. You don't know. They scraped their asshole with seashells. The body, the 1800s paper was becoming more widely available. Yeah, magazine. In 1857, a New Yorker named Joseph Gayety introduced the first patented toilet paper. Boss. Wow. Hero. 1857. So until 1857, everyone was just, the Romans cleaned it behind seasplanes. That's nice. That seems like a piece of fuck out of a St. Stick yeah Yeah, a lot of places in the world keep like a dish of water in the middle east to keep a dish of water above your toilet and use one hand to like Splash water on your ass Wiping that to store it. I think that's the move the move is the sponge I've used the sponge then you can clean the sponge off. Yeah, you reuse it. It's green [1:31:04] If you use the sponge then you can clean the sponge off. Yeah, you reuse it. It's green. Oh The sponge away Jamie. Yeah, there's a pile of sponges in there. No, no you clean your sponge Everybody gets one sponge it goes with your voter ID Sponge go get another one you don't have to put it on the end of a spirit you hold it in your hand like a gentleman They would get old. That's a stick. It's like you're buffing. Like when you're buffing your hood. Just buff your asshole. It's a sponge actually. That is nice. That seems like a hidden move. I think the very car would feel good. I might, I might. So if you have a test of sponge, I might break out of the toilet. And right next to the toilet, Floan, you dunked your sponge in there? Clean it out? Uh-huh. It's nice sound too. It's just, what a dripping in. Unless, unless you just got a mess. Chunky, thick, through the shower. Frozen yogurt. You never get it out of a sponge. It's deep, it's all over your ass cheeks. You're wiping your legs. It's all the way up your back. [1:32:01] It's dripping down your legs now. I thought fuck did I do. I was in share by fellow butt wipers. You know they were used to share. You don't have your own. Of course. Why would you have your own Jamie? It's fucking Rome, dude. The visitor, okay. So if one of the freak of visitors had intestinal worms, all the others would carry them home too. Without any knowledge about disease spread, the overall Roman toilet setup could hardly be called hygienic by modern standards yet. You know they told me to test kids for worms. They said put a piece of scotch tape on your kid's butthole while sleeping, and the worms come out of the butthole at night, and they'll get stuck in the scotch tape. What? Yeah, I heard that story. Yeah, they want to put Scotch tape on the beehomes. Mayo Clinic says to do that too. Person adhesive side of a piece of transparent tape to skin around the anus of the person you suspect as pinworms, as soon as the person awakens, the egg stick to the tape. When you take the tape to your appointments, the doctor could look at pin worms or eggs under a microscope. Interesting. And that fucking crazy. Bro, this is a crazy video of a black bear. [1:33:07] His black bear is walking and it's got worms. It's got worms coming out of his butt. Like garden. Yeah, yeah. Like garden noses. Hang it. Look, look, look. What hanging out of his ass? How crazy is that? His face, he's like, I know, dude. His socks, this is embarrassing. His size of those worms, what must be going on in their gut? Oh my god. The worms must be getting most of the food. Yeah. Oh, that's so nasty. If they're making their way all the way out through your asshole, that thick, look at that. Those thick COVID vaccine-like ropes. Yeah. Those blood clots, you find on Reddit? That's what it looks like. Look at that fucking length of that thing. Look at that one, that one you just showed Jamie. I was thinking of some video, I was trying to see you. But look at the length, oh my God, look at the length of that. Look at the worms behind him. Oh brother, that tree's not the answer man. [1:34:02] No, that's good though for now. True. I mean you have no idea what's going on here. You get that bear racking his nuts doing that. It's pretty great. He has no idea what's going on here but. Diary and worms. That's crazy. That's terrible. That's crazy. It's kind of sad. Yeah. You see that bear get hit in the nuts? This one? Yeah, it's pretty wonderful. This is great. This is one of the greatest videos ever There we go. Steering up. What's he's doing scratch scratchy man God that's gotta feel fucking awesome Yeah, look at him. He's just rubbing his back animal it does that? Oh no! Oh my god himself! Look at him! Look at him! It's like, oh my nuts! It's just a dude! It's really just a dude! It took like a good 10 seconds to fully kick in on him. [1:35:00] They are absolutely the coolest animal. Yeah, the coolest. Grizzly would kill a gorilla, dude. Yeah, I think so. For really? Yeah, bro. So how'd it take? I'm tired of these people saying gorillas would fuck up a grizzly. Yeah, how? The grizzlies are fucking huge. They run 40 miles an hour. Well, there's different types of... There are different types of... Yeah, different types is mountain grizzlies and then there's a coastal brown bears Which are the same species, but they have much more access to protein They just eat and salmon all day and moose those things are giant damn Not fast. Yeah, they're not so fast, but more importantly And oh my god, but we'll believe in it like John Donner her and Lex Friedman had a conversation about this That I saw it was hilarious about who would win a a bear, a grizzly bear or a lion? And what he was- Lions getting rocked, right? Well, bear? Easy. No, no, probably not. Really? Yeah, probably not. [1:36:00] No. No, I'm out. Yeah. It's hard to say. I'm out. It's hard to say. I'm out. It's hard to say, lines are pretty big. You know, a big male line. Tigers and fuck a line. A tiger would. A big like Siberian, and those really enormous tigers. I watched a sloth bear hold his own against the fucking tiger. Recently. That's just a shitty name. That's a crazy ball. Mangy shitty bear bear those are very aggressive easily Sloth bears are very aggressive. They killed a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that was the first time I met you I showed you a sloth bear killing a man The day we met The first time we did it open up together. I was like go check this out There's the bear eating you guys. Yeah, he showed me a guy jump off a building and I was like sick. That was a rough one. This is a bear versus a tiger. This is actually very nice. And that's... That's Soth Bear is defending its cub. And it's a very nice moment, dude. Yeah, that's a small tiger. And that Soth Bear gets rocked and hangs in there. Yeah. They're tough, dude. They're tough. A grizzly would go nuts on that thing. Fuck that. Maybe that size tiger? That's not a very big trigger. [1:37:06] It depends on how big they are. It's just, the thing about Grizzlies and Lions, they're the ones that have the giant advantage because they kill shit all the time. This is one of the things that don't hurt so, like, gorillas don't really kill anything. Yeah. Silverbacks have canines that are just for posturing. Yeah. Yeah, they just like first show in their fangs. It's weird. It's weird that they have canines because they don't kill any. Every other thing that has canines as big as a kill stuff. Kills things. They just eat vegetables. Yeah, true. I wonder if they ever ate meat a little. Well, monkeys eat meat at all. Yeah, monkeys do. Chimps do. Although, eat meat. Chimps are very carnivorous. a lot of meat. They eat a lot of monkeys. A lot of monkeys. Yeah, they eat deer, they eat monkeys. They eat everything they can catch, but they eat fruit. If it's available, they eat the fruit. But really what they want is monkeys. That's their favorite thing to eat. Damn. Yeah. They found out. You remember the chimpanzee? They did that and they were like, fuck with those do. Oh, yeah, look at the size of that cat. [1:38:06] Imagine that motherfucker walks in. Fuck, dude. Siberian versus Bengal Tigers, it's said. Yeah, that's the Siberian. Yeah, good move, so dude. No, that's true. Show the belly. You guys like, no thanks. I like that guy chilling. Yeah, look at those. Fuck out of my way. Damn, size dude. Yeah, so that thing against the Grizzly? Yeah, I don't know. But Grizzlies are fucking insanely durable, man. The thing about that they're designed to fight. A cat is not necessarily designed to fight. They're designed to kill this. Grizzlies fight each other all the time and they fight for like 20 minutes and they tear each other apart and they don't get hurt It's a good point. It's great. Their skin is so flexible and so thick that they could just bit down on and they're shaking each other and then they'd shake it off Like nothing happened. Yeah, I'm still I'm grizzly on this. What's the gorilla's? [1:39:01] It's a good possibility The girl is like a cat. Super strength? Yeah. Yeah, just strong to swap. And smart. The gorilla's smart. True. But they're going to get fucked up. They're going to get fucked up. You're taking a big cat against a gorilla? A gorilla? No. I'm not necessarily taking the big cat against the grizzly. But maybe. Because I don't think the big cat is used to fighting. Dressily is fight so much. Like they know how to fight. Like I think it would know how to hold the cat down. Those cats fight. Yeah, but I think they have to fight. Don't they kill all the kids? They get killed. They get killed. They get killed. That's true. The Grizzlies fight like every year. Grizzlies are out there. They're like Tyson and their brine, but every two weeks. Yeah. On to each other. I've seen bears fighting the wild. It's really good. That's wild, see. It's wild. These bears were going at it. I was in Alberta. And the way they hunt bears out there, the forest out there is like a box of Q-tips. You can't see shit. The way they hunt bears, they have an enormous bear population. They're infested with black bears. [1:40:06] They leave bait out and they say, like, donuts or something sweet. The bears come to that. These bears know where this one, or they leave a dead beaver. It's another thing to leave. The bears know when the bait is there and so they'll decide who gets the bait or they'll decide that a female is hot and she's ready to have sex and they'll fight over the female But I watch these two dudes just go at it just Just just go at it like 30 yards away from him like this terrifying. Yeah, it's wild You the black bears are prevalent in like the polka nose and Pennsylvania people like oh, yeah, they're kind of sissy They are like to people like walking. I mean, they're kind of they're at least like they don't fuck up They like to be a they don't run away until they do that's dude my neighbor when I was up there the guy Stay next was like I'll walk down the driveway with them. I'm like dude. You're out of your fucking mind. You're fucking mind I saw Jamie there's a video of I think it was a black bear getting into a dude's cabin really and it's like He's like there's no you can tell it's just a bro. He's like dude, I think there's something in the kid yet. And he's holy fucking to bear it dude, holy fuck. And it comes off the [1:41:08] step like it's. I don't know. They made a fun in that. I'm selling a dumbass. Kill the kid at Rutgers. It is. You got killed by a black bear at Rutgers. Yeah. Yeah, he was going to school at Rutgers and New Jersey. New Jersey. Yeah, the Trump factor. New Jersey is the highest population of bears per capita in the country. What? Yeah, New Jersey does. New Jersey state, when the governor was currently in, when he was running, one of the things he was running on is stopping the bear hunt. Chris Christie. Because people were upset. People were upset that people were hunting bears. Like the people that live in Newark and cities. Like what are you doing in Hackensack? You're hunting bears. They kept that law for two years. And then he's like, forget it, start hunting bears again. So many bear interactions with people that were going up so high, they were, blah, blah, blah. Fucking up people's garbage cans. Yeah, if you're coming to the Poke Nose, you're gonna lock your thing up if they come like every Sunday, they're coming. Yeah. Yeah, there's deer terrified of deer. I've we my family and I we got a house in the poke nose and there's the deer [1:42:06] Or everywhere everywhere and they are fucking disgusting Yeah, you got shoot up. We walk outside these just the most mangy fucking deer you've ever seen Well, they also might have chronic wasting disease. They're fucked up. Oh, dude. That's fucked up my brother saw that They just drown themselves and stuff. It's scary. It's the they a zombie disease. It's a pre-owned disease. Look at this bear. Awesome. The guy's just chilling. No idea. Oh! He said what the fuck is your... Dude, there's one. There's an Asian lady taking a nap and a bear comes over and starts sniffing her face. Oh my god. The thing about bears, sorry. Black bears, if you get attacked by a black bear, it's more likely trying to eat you. Oh really? Yeah, if you get attacked by a grizzly bear It's more likely you shocked it like you came near its jobs Yeah, I kind of know or might want to eat you too. That's possible too like grizzly black bears It's more likely. They're watching it. They're trying it. They're just hungry. Yeah [1:43:05] Grizzamit wasn't grizzam in there when they started to hungry. Isn't that what happened? Yeah, he stayed. He hung out. He stayed. Don't be there during that season. Yeah. There were bears that were so hungry they couldn't harbor Nate. They didn't know it had a fat to harbor Nate. Fuck. It was an old bear and he just didn't have any food. You know? He got a good meal. Yeah. He became just sniffing his lady. That's a guy dude Bear bear was fucking with his shoe bro Yeah They you know they're cool. You just don't want a lot of them near you. Yeah, I don't want to know Do you know they used to eat them and not eat deer? They eat bears? Yeah, the pioneers. Like when they first started establishing America, they would eat bear and they would use the deer for skins. That's why a dollar's called a buck. Oh. That was the amount of money you get for one deer skin. What? Yeah, they didn't eat deer. Which is crazy. [1:44:00] What's the nowadays? It tastes good. It's closer to beef, that's why. Oh. And so they were eating bear, and they were just using the deer for skins. I like to think of that. The guys that got to North America and ran into fucking Grizzlies from Europe. Yo. Like what? Well, Europe has a lot of brown bears. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, Russia has some of the craziest things. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But Germany has brown bears. I think someone got killed by a brown bear. Germany has brown bears? Pretty sure. No way. Not anymore. Oh no. Oh yeah, I guess they got those forests. They got those. There's bears in the forest in certain parts of Europe. I know for sure. I know they have brown bears out there. Yeah. Lobster was like prison food when it first came. Yeah, lobster. They would like it was like considered disgusting. As a bug. They found me. Yeah. They feed the prisoners. They would get them out of the East River and serve them to people at bars. It was bar food. First bar in Germany in 16 years. OK, yeah, there it is. First wild bar in Germany in 170 years. That was close. OK, that must have been when I read. Yeah, but so are there bears in Spain? Is that what it is? Are there brown bears in Spain? [1:45:06] There's definitely some Russia's My brain I was like I'm like you know you drinking off a start remembering Spanish. I was like oh so for a bear I think that might be bear it is nice Yeah, oh really Who's it's birthbed time I'm bird have a vodka. Oh, so it's called oh so porno Oh, what a great name. Hell yeah, perfect. I just saw the end you said oh so I thought you're talking about the vodka itself. Oh Oh, so I thought you were talking about that dude who was the guru in wow-wow country like I ruled like I Like I ruled like I rule everybody People are retarded. You know shows for the people by the people of the people But the people are Captain for the return of the By the retarded you watch me like this guy's a genius. This is wow [1:46:01] This is gonna be really insightful. Yeah, so deep but the people are retarded This is wow this is gonna be really insightful. Yeah, but the people are retarded I would say Right man, I think he's on it Second language too look at it such a Jay government Government Think of being in this meeting like off the people. I think of being in this meeting like, off the people. Yeah. For the people. But the people are retarded. I told you look next to your friends. Like, what? Wait, wait, we think we might have fucking bet on the wrong guru. What are you doing? You're in full load his own. His word, what? What's his look? Knowing that you gambled on the wrong guru, that's why I'm so glad I got out of that first building. That first building, I bought a first building before we bought the mothership before that spot. It was, I bought a place that was owned by a cult. [1:47:00] A cult? He's a documentary on it called Holy Hell Yeah, don't get told me that yeah, he told me you were in like a how was he still kicking around the guys in Hawaii now? Yeah, really restarted he's a legend that you told me this guy's So this guy fucking rules guys a legend So the guy was a gay porn star and a hypnotist Dangerous combo dangerous combination and a yoga instructor and beautiful. Beautiful man. Like amazing physique, six pack, taught yoga. And then as he got older, he got creepy. So I get in a lot of plastic surgery, lost his physique. And so the cult awareness network, it was like right after Waco, cult awareness network, they're cracking down all these cults, you know, his wake up pops on. So this motherfucker says, okay, okay I'm gonna move to Austin and just to throw people off who might be thinking I'm running a cult I'm gonna have my followers build me a theater so that I can dance in front of them and that was the place that I bought that place it was gonna be my copy the gay hipnitist dancer well I found out about this from Ron White. Ron White's like, you should buy that theater that was owned by the cult. [1:48:08] I played there once. It's fucking awesome. Beautiful place. I go really, it goes, oh yeah, it's fucking the T-Tex. It's really good, Ron White. It's amazing. It's a really good Ron White. You know, every time I talk to Ron White, I'm like, I'm friends with He's the man. He might be the coolest dude possible. He's one of the greatest humans in several walks. It's so funny. I loved that guy to death. So when he was telling me to buy the building, I was like, I'm buying that building. So I said, let's go. And I took him on the tour and he's like, yeah, I fucking killed right here. So we all looked at it. We brought in an architect and everything, there's, I mean, we were in the planning stages. They had like a significant issue that wasn't addressed, that had to be addressed, and I got out of it. Yeah, it's like buying a house and like, it's haunted. Well, there's a lot of issues, first of all, the people, there were not construction people that made that place. But then on top of that, Adam Eget tells me about the documentary. I did not know about the documentary. I just knew Ron said, yeah, I called on it. [1:49:07] I'm like, go call. Yeah, what a normal stuff. Yeah. But you flower people. They probably did yoga and grew squash. No. No, no, no, there's a lot of butt fucker. Dude, what? Dude, what? Dude, they were getting hypnotized 50 bucks and then he would fuck them. The idea of did it work? Oh, yeah. The guy. Yeah, he's that's the thing. That's the thing about the documentary that's wild. This guy was a legitimate hypnotist, right? And he had these people convinced that he could give them this thing called the knowing. And the knowing was he would like place his hands on you would have to be the right time the right moment But these people to this day were saying it's the most amazing moment of their life It was pure ecstasy they connected to God like he through the power of suggestion When he put his hands on them they really did experience that thing so he really did have that power [1:50:03] Whoa, he really really actually did. If you're a gullible person who's, like, joined a cult in the first place, kind of a sucker. Kind of a sucker. You're not skeptical. You believe this. And then you find yourself in the woods, and you're on your knees. And this guy's over you, and he puts his hands on your temples. And they would just go into full bliss. And it's wild because it's in the movie. And it doesn't look like they're faking it. It looks like they're having this wild, transcendent experience. Like someone just gives them a full on mushroom trip. Just a fucking whop, just hits them with a giant dose of acid. Damn. And they're just like, oh. And then they get... They talk about it afterwards, even they're talking shit about him, even in the afterwards, like 20 years later when they're talking shit about him, they talk about him, they believed in him so much. He was yoke, probably. Yeah, he was beautiful. He was beautiful, he had a six pack, he was a yoke instructor, see he would give him this thing man, he would touch them in the head. And by the way, some of them, he would hold it back from them. He wouldn't give it to them. No, you're not ready. Like, no, I'm ready. And so they'd be complaining for years. [1:51:05] You are not ready. Oh, man. Show that again. Show that again. No. He's strong. Oh, people's mouths, bro. Yo. Look at the way he's tossed it sideways. Yeah. That's nice. This is, by the way, this is later in life when he's getting a little creepy looking. So he starts getting a bunch of plastic surgery and weird shit to his face and his body kind of falls apart. But that was him dancing at the One World Theater. What? Which was the place that I was gonna buy. That's it. He had them build a theater so he could dance in front of them. I mean, can you imagine seeing that guy not hysterically laughing? Well, I think I got all the way I just started looking at the like real weird man, like real weird, like look at him. Yeah, but when he was young, he was beautiful. So that's the torment of youthful beauty. You get older, it's fucking you become a monster. Yeah, but even when he was young, it still would be like if I saw a guy like, throw a fruit for some guy's mouth, [1:52:01] I'm out, I'm out I'm out I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I Yeah, look at that look at the other guy In the back I'm expert I probably said don't my experience it through you. I felt it I felt it the ecstasy had of catching masters fruit the gay butt fuck hold man. That's tough Bro, so they found out because in the early Some way go a guy left a guy left the cult and sent a mass email. The guy's been hypnotized me and butt-fuckin' me for the past 10 years. And then everybody else is a guy. Where the God, he's fucking good at it. They really didn't know how many people he was doin' that to. And they all started cheering information. [1:53:00] What? Yeah, I mean, he ran this thing for a long time the thing they all say those in the beginning It was great in the beginning the cult. They were just happy to use together and they're going on First nature high to doing yoga together then as later I think as he got older like he couldn't get as many guys So he needed to fuck them Yeah, when you get gross looking the only people that'll fuck you the people that think you're a master You know when you're gross looking, the only people that will fuck you, the people that think you're a master. True. When you're young and hot. True. That's how you tell him, Joe. True. I know. That's why I came to you. He's out there getting it. He probably didn't need to fuck him. I do like the idea of being in a cult, like the moment of clarity where you're like, oh, so, dude, Waco is so funny to think of a guy being in there when they're like, the feds are coming, we've got to fight them off and meet a guy in the meeting like, fuck, oh, shit. And if you leave, they'll shoot you. Yeah. If you run out that door, you're gonna get shot in the back. You gotta run out in the middle the night. So you gotta plan it out. You have a fucking toothbrush and a pair of underwear taped to your leg. [1:54:05] You got to figure out how to get over the barbed wire. You got to run out with a roll of carpet. You throw the roll of carpet over the barbed wire. You got it on plan. You hear crash like where are you going, buddy? Oh, Jesus Christ. You hear, and you feel the hot lead. I heard a lot of those North California grow ups. They had that thing triangle of something on Netflix. I've heard a long time ago they were like that. Like people with hippie kids would be like, I'm gonna go trim on this guy's farm and it's like thinking it's gonna be like some cool hippie guy but these are like country, Northern California criminals. Yeah, like hot young hippie chicks running out there and it's getting like drugged andatch. Really? That was nice. Yeah. That was cool. Very good documentary series. It's about they attributed a murder to Bigfoot. It's a Bigfoot kill. Wow. That makes sense. Which is almost fucking Bigfoot kill. You have to be like, oh, fuck. Bro, Bigfoot kill that. [1:55:01] That's so good. That's broken and killed all the cartel guys. That was nuts. So it was so remote and so lawless that guys would come in and steal people's crops. They'd rob people and shoot people. And so it was like, these guys started off as hippies and then it became business. That has to be how every like lockness monster or Sasquat, every single monster was definitely just a guy killing a guy. I mean I fucking Troop of copper came out of nowhere For DNA Monsters sure that's a good idea. Yeah, also if you leave someone's body in the woods like where there's like wild Bays and animals. They're gonna eat that body quick I would do is leave the body for 24 hours and something's eaten a coyote is gonna eat it I don't remember if we talked about this bro. No, no, I have a This should it was so funny love has won the cult of mother god That's one of the rare cults run by a lady too, right? Yeah, yeah, we watch some of this Yeah, it is so funny. There's a dude that shows up and it dominates the cult. [1:56:07] Like a dude does a dude take shows up and just ruins everything. There he was. Yes, he was so he was areas. He was the boyfriend. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. Yeah, he's like, get out of prison or whatever it goes to this cult. Amazing. He's Get out of prison or whatever it goes to this cult amazing like he said he was out raking leaves with all the community And he just put his rake down. I was like I run this And he just immediately started dominating everybody. Oh, no making them listen to heavy metal Did he put heavy metal on be like? I'm power. Oh my god dude would get to fuck this lady And then he'd be like father god. And then she had like three father gods and the method dude came through and she got down. Discovering a mummified body laying in an shrine, queen size band wrapped in a sleeping bag decorated with Christmas lights. They believed silver, what's it called? What type of silver? Loyal silver. They were like, that's gonna solve this. So they were just crushing this lady with silver [1:57:01] while she was an alcohol. Oh my God. She started turning blue. As a 19 billion year old deity, Carlson claimed she could cure cancer while also drinking herself into oblivion every night. Hey. What a wild lady. Wait till you see. Well, I'm watching that tonight. She's got the galactic. She's got she channels. She channels her deity. I'm writing this down then. that I'm a reminder to watch. It's so funny. She channels love right? Love is one. Love is one. She channels her, they're called the galactics. It's a collection of people that I fucking, who knows? They have spaceships. They're gonna pick her up. The galactics are really, it's Robin Williams. They have spaceships, they're gonna pick her up. The galactics are really, it's Robin Williams, and Donald Trump who's still alive, they love Trump, which is so funny. They do love Trump. And like she's like, anytime she gets hammered, she's like Robin Williams is channeling himself through me. That's why I'm being mean to everybody. She just get, no, she just can't hammered it, be like, fuck, he bitch, clean up all my shit. Then the next day I'd be like, damn Robin Williams was crazy last night. I'm sorry. [1:58:06] That's hilarious. Then she starts taking silver and her cult believes her so much that when she starts to be like, I don't know guys, I think the silver might be killing me that like, no, silver's good. You're got, she's like, I'm not got, I'm fucking hammered. She's having a hammered for 20 years. Is this silver is that the same stuff to make that guy turn blue? Yeah, I'm always on Oprah. This is what happened. Yeah, she turned blue as well. She turns blue at the end. Oh boy, dude Wish look at the end. Oh that oh yeah. Oh, man She wasn't that old right she was attractive dude. She had before she was hot. Oh Silver the color She was Jamie still watching this on the snake Jamie you like that meat catch Do you have that fucking dog dude the little tiny dog watching guys catch me? She was very pretty she was pretty look at that one that [1:59:02] Yeah, that's her LinkedIn That one that... Does that hurt her? Yeah, that's her LinkedIn. LinkedIn. That's her LinkedIn. Glad to see your business is doing well. Yeah, it just became a business where the money guy is hilarious in it. So she was running it for a while until the method came along. She was so hot. Yeah. McDonald's got a hundred of calls here. Wow, she was a McDonald's manager. Yeah, she did it. Hey, you can do it this country yeah if you have a good idea and you really work hard you can you die from rum and silver like a pirate what the fuck wrong wrong but she's drinking what wrong she broke she was a wrong wrong shit she's hammered the whole time that her method boyfriend shows up and he rules he does oh my god dominates everyone all the other guys are pussy's in this dude shows up and he rules. He does. Oh my God. He dominates everyone. All the other guys are pussy's and this dude shows up. They all still believe though. Oh my God. That's such a dangerous thing. I just missed the guy. Look at that guy. Holy. Bro, that guy got super blue. Colonial surf turns you blue. Why? He was a good looking guy before that. What the fuck? That's literally Papa Smurf. That is, dude. That's so crazy. [2:00:05] And they can't turn that, it looks like William overdeck it. It does look like William Montgomery. It does. Looks a little like William, the way he's smiling, if he was bald. That's William Montgomery. I am gonna take Lloyd, I'll sell him. William Montgomery should do that for like Halloween. Bro, that's him. Dude, Blue Thangs for Halloween. He might get tackled in the street. Yeah, that's kind. That guy had it too. Wow. That stuff is in the Alex Jones toothpaste. Colloidal silver. Yeah. In the Alex Jones toothpaste. I don't want to miss merch, I don't want to miss merch is comedy. You don't miss merch him. But I think the Colloidal Servue was in the toothpaste. Stats a of Dennis Alex Jones dad's a dentist. Yeah, man. You listen. You ever listen to the program? There it is Quiddell seven super little that's an interesting ad Okay, Matt you can't put by yourself. I'll take a break. Yeah, I'll take a ram. I'm gonna break you [2:01:04] Yes, yes, so much feels good, dude. Yeah, it's Christy. Yes. Yes. So much better. Feels good, dude. Yeah. It's good to pee. What's better? Pee and a shitton. Really? Yeah. Just something about a good one. A good one versus, I mean, think about a good whiz. Hard, like. It's about pretty good. But it dumps when you're holding a whiz and you get it. It's, what it is, it's like a clitorial orgasm that's being re-hard and then it's like having a cervical orgasm. If you had, I'm gonna say it, if you had a, I compare it to something. Yeah, that's one of those guys. Like it's time I toast, just like childbirth. This is weird. This fucking cervical orgasm? Yeah, you thought I'd know. What I heard, fuck me up on our friends, where I was talking to them and they were saying, dudes are now reviewing their dicksize, like the dildo that's their dicksize and reading the reviews, women leaves up the dildo. Oh, I'm not coming close to that. I'm not looking at you. You want to talk about negative comments. Bro. Dude, my brain keeps dumping it, it comes up and I'm like, I just get one of those little fucking It's not tiny little buzzers. If they had a no-zemic for dick size. Yeah. Oh my god. [2:02:06] And it gave you a bunch of side effects. Side effects could be. Side effects could be cancer. Anything. Yeah. Diabetes. Turn and blue. Guys who just take diabetes medication, have a giant hog. But if you would have fired up. You only take, you have to keep taking it. Like it artificially inflates the size of your dick for a limited time. Yeah, you have to bang it every couple of days all day Every couple of days you get a bang it. It'd be so hard to not do that everybody would do it But they do boy. That's the holy grail that's what I'm talking about money What the fuck are you guys? Yeah, what are they doing make it all as bullshit talking around fucking flu vaccines? Fuck that dude fix my dick fix it. I get someone to fix this That dude fix my dick fix it. Yeah someone to fix this I Can't for world peace if everyone of the same size dog we might enter the age of peace I swear to God or be a bunch of big dick kings That might be too much well in a place like China isn't there like Friends between the number of men versus the number of women. Yeah, you think they would chill the fuck out [2:03:04] The difference between the number of men versus the number of women. Yeah, you think they would chill the fuck out Would they just dudes ballin out there dude getting angry Yeah, limited supply. Oh, so there's more there's more China sausage party. They had the one child pop. All right, so it's just dudes. Oh, they don't let the other yeah They can have girls and we're like damn dudes. We're like, dude. Try this. Look at that. In 2023, there were around 720 million male inhabitants and 689 female inhabitants. That's a big difference. Dude, that sucks. That sucks. That sucks. Wow, there's 1.4 billion people in China. That's crazy. That's so many people. They didn't knock that off. That's so many people so what is it 690 and 720s? I would it was Jamie? No 720 and 660 Yeah, so that's a solid 30 million man. That's a lot of people. We're getting conflicted reports about China. True. You think they're pumping up the numbers? I don't know what's going on dude. [2:04:00] In terms of what conflicted with us. I don't know are they killing us or they pay for tiger what is it well The thing that scares the shit out of me is if they go into Taiwan Yeah, and they seem to be saying they want to go into Taiwan Well, dude, they're gonna have a population crisis in 30 years. I'm gonna have oh Yeah, yeah, he's been he's thankfully the thing I was worried about the thing I was worried about with with Trump was you know, it was like if Trump gets elected, World War Three will happen. And then thankfully we avoided that. You know, and there's definitely no chance. That's all mine, that's my opinion. That's true. Isn't that funny though that like anti-war used to be the left? Did they love it now? Used to be the left. The left was all anti-war. The left was, we had to stop the wars. The left was Jimmy Carter. The left was, you know, to the wars. I, it's the, it's like, all right. You have to be mindful of like, don't microaggress a lady at a job and then it's like, oh, but shoot that Russian guy between his fucking eyes. Why did it like make sure you get their name right at Starbucks? I saw a tweet so let's use drones to bomb Russians. [2:05:08] I think a tweet where someone was saying How many people that have ARs could have sent those ARs to Ukraine roast to fight the Russians? Definitely yeah, you don't need AR. Do you know how many guns in America compared to the world? But that was the point that we're saying you don't need an AR you should send those guns to like do you know what you're saying? Yeah, do you realize we're saying a government invasion? Yeah, is that what you're saying? So you need to give up your guns so that we're somewhere that is actually happening Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that it can maybe happen here. Oh, no, no, no guns Dude my dad has like six AR 15s. What? He buys them anytime like something bad happens where like they're taking away He buys another one. What's he gonna do that? They just stock him up. Maybe he's one. No, he's got six. He's got six. He's got six. He's got six. He's got six. He's got six. He's got money. He brought a gun to my show [2:06:07] My comedy by his film in a special and he came with a gun in a knife and the security's like bro You can't have the hawk and the gun on you right now You know, I was the open carrying yeah, he just kind of no shoulder He'll get a concealed and then he was he was in fill. He's all bugged out He's like oh he's used to like he they owe him his family the dads watch Fox news And like we can't go into it. Yeah, dude. Well, they also play in any city you'll die they had a trash company in like the 80s Till which is like so like you know, yeah, so they always had guns on them So he's just used to like what people stealing trash? No, but like if's like a state of emergency the murder rates crazy and they were there doing the crack epidemic So you have like a transfer station or you know there's money in and out of there Mm-hmm. It was like non stop of like copper was there all this other stuff like they would get like you get like tackled coming in Wow, it was fucked up You gotta keep the guy how do you how do they find the gun didn't pat him down? He just said I think they wanted them. Oh really? I think you know that helium. I think so because they got really they wanted them at helium [2:07:07] Or they asked them. I don't know they might have asked them My dad but my they don't ask anyone to come in maybe they did maybe they else ask him because I've seen them So I've seen guys before with the ones maybe I have a shoulder or the fucking the leg holster like Clint Eastwood He's traps. You might have a pen the key to He's traps you might have a pen the key to Ask him I figured they wanted it. Maybe they just could scream did as soon as he walked It's got a pup when I heard he was rolling that strap to the show like fucking nice it is it is very nice It's also funny how much dads are afraid of cities. Dude, terrified. They hate cities. Foxes, new dads. Oh god dude. All day they watch how terrible things are in cities. That's their only, my dad won't go to Harrisburg. When you watch those, they're not going over there. When you watch those migrants and beat their ass and then they got out of jail with no bail right away. [2:08:06] That's trouble. That is wild. Nobody depends what you're ever going to miss. And they're two-pock in the camera. They two-pock the camera on the way out. Yeah, I didn't see this. Yes. I think those guys have fled. And they got released or deported. They got released? Oh, they're just back out. Yeah, bro, they interview this one guy was watching this YouTube video What's happening in these hotels this one guy's been there for seven months and he said they give him a nice hotel It's a nice room. He says real clean. They give him breakfast lunch and dinner every day and He's an illegal immigrant. Yeah, and then there's people that are poor. They're like hey What about my family? What about me? What about us Americans that live here have always been here born and raised here and People just sneak in and you're giving them all these things you won't give us. Why are you doing this? This is crazy That's crazy. Is it like a vote? Are they trying to like getting your voters or something? I would imagine yes Yeah, but they're not gonna be down if ever meet like a beautiful bottom. They're doing it right now in New York City in New York City they're allowing illegal immigrants to vote. Yeah. This is something that just, is that true? Is that absolutely true? Let's [2:09:08] make sure, because this is a big statement. But I'm pretty sure that was one of the things that they were trying to do. They were trying to make it so that these people could be documented. And this is what they keep saying. The way to deal with the undocumented people is find a pathway for them to be documented. Sure. That's how we've always done. It's legal immigration. Now you might think legal immigration is too restrictive. Okay. But you can't just let anybody in because terrorists are a real thing. Yeah. This is not like an imaginary, it's not like orcs. Like we know terrorists are real. And they already caught that one guy where they asked the guy like who are you, he was will know soon enough, and then they find out, okay, this guy's on a terrorist watch list, and made into America. What a dumbass. Yeah, yeah. They're not gonna vote left though. These people come up from like South America stuff or anything like that. A lot of them will, because those are the people that got them in. Those are the people that are giving vote for those people, especially all you want to do is get a fucking job. And if you vote for these people and these people are going to allow you to be documented, [2:10:07] you're going to be able to get a job and then continue to get social assistance, which has been pretty remarkable. You're getting money and food and a place to live. Why wouldn't you do that? Yeah, but then they'll work and they'll get on their own for two feet and then they're super like they're pretty conservative. That's when it's time to close the border. Once you go to the subway, if you go to the club. No one else. Well, they don't in California. In California, that was what changed California. California, when Reagan was in office, Reagan created a pathway for illegal immigrants to become legal and vote. And when he did that, the Republicans never won California again, except for Schwarzenegger. Nah. You know what's interesting? We should be helping our people. [2:11:05] I know. You know? Everything's kind of... Well, people are waking up on both sides, but there's a lot of people that are left weighing people that are like, what the fuck is going on with all these wars? What are we doing? This is not something that we were supposed to be about. And there's a lot of people on the left that look at what's going on in Gaza right now and they're freaking out. Yeah. So then there's that turmoil. Give me a beer. I'd like to talk about Gaza. I like I like that. I like that. I like that. The Quagmire. The Gaza's a Quagmire for the last couple of years. They're like, it's funny that America's like, what are we doing on all these wars? It's like, bro, do you know who we start to finish. Yeah, it's true. Day one. That's a make place like this. Yeah, this is not from this year. This is from 2022, but this is only thing I could find. Yeah, Eric Adams That's is it. It has to do with Local elections first of all right, and then people with green cards and the doc a dog. Anyone that's a DACA Which is the dreamers people dreamers people who are born here, right? [2:12:07] Parents were brought into this country illegal as children. That's it not born here, brother Dreamers, so they allowed to remain yeah, that's how it's great. That's how nice. That's all great But they are allowing people that are not legal residents or they're not legal citizens to vote right in New York elections Yeah, so that's all you need to know so that's the beginning So that's how you win the election over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over Remember? Yeah. They could just brought in homeless people from everywhere. And said, you're gonna be a part of our community. And they said, we'd like finally have a place to be. And then once they vote, all right, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. That documentary is, why is this fun? These books are good though. I've read it, I've told them these books. He really was very slight, but it was also like you know driving like you had like the batteries [2:13:05] Bentley's and shit. That was just a lesson for us. You can't help yourself But he had so many of them I will say he wants you buy one nice car I've been on the second one. I understand that what are you gonna get? I don't know but no I'm not gonna buy another one, but I'm excited I'm excited for my lease to run out so I excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. I Dude, David Chair, customer chair, David Chair, is it a park? Correct. Get a TRX. We'll see. What's a TRX? It's a ram that has 700 horsepower. Oh, those things are from the factory. Wow, that's the thing's really good. I'll show you one here. Do you really? Yeah, I'll show you. It's pretty awesome. I have a Hinesi one that has a thousand horsepower. What? Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's America. That is pretty sick. Remember we're in this fucking Tesla. I don't [2:14:07] America's obviously the best real That they don't try around that Nazi mobile That's it right there. Look at that. Look at that. How's America cars? Are they like are we good at making cars out? I think that things the shit. I love that thing. I love that. I drive that all the time. I love it Pick up will be nice actually they're great pick up trumps. Well, while the expensive speed and Nazi mobiles Yeah, I Went and saw a Nazi movie by myself what really last Saturday night Zone of interest. What is that? I don't know. It's about Auschwitz. It's it's Awesome. It's all right. Where they live next to Oh, it's it's it's it's awesome. It's all right where they live next to Nothing happens. It's just it's just an ongoing like you're uncomfortable the whole time But I did go see it by myself Which is a weird because like the movie P. I started a draft house so you have like a waiter and the whole time though like I Shane hey what's going on? Oh, yeah, I'm just here watching Nazis alone [2:15:04] I was like, yeah, I'm just here watching Nazis alone. You know exactly what you thought I'd do on a Saturday night. Oh, that's a brand. It's very uncomfortable. You watching this movie by yourself is on brand. I enjoyed it, but it's... Did the right next to a concentration camp. Yeah, they're at Auschwitz. He's the... Oh, and they're living good. Yeah. Oh wow. Nothing happens though. It's just unsettling for two hours. It's a cool idea. Look at the building therein. Yeah Feeling you deserve the best in life the wildest thing that most people don't know about the Nazis is how many we brought over here Yeah Operation paperclip. Yeah, isn't Venezuela or one of those countries? Venezuela or one of those countries. Oh yeah, Argentina. Argentina. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, countries in Argentina, or cities in Argentina where everybody's white, everybody's being German. I've talked about it. Argentina's entire soccer team is white, dude. That's fucking right. That's not, bro. What do you got? I was talking to someone, I was talking to this far enough South that you would be white, right? Maybe. maybe, but also there's a lot of Nazis went to Argentina. Definitely. [2:16:05] Yeah. I mean, Tim Kennedy had that TV show, Finding Hitler, where there's this conspiracy theory that Hitler moved to Argentina. What is this, Jamie? Oh, they were... The rat lines were systems of escape routes for German Nazis and other fascists fleeing Europe from 1945 onward in the aftermath of World War II. These escape routes mainly led towards havens in Latin America, particularly Argentina, but also Paraguay and Colombia, Brazil, Uruguay, Mexico, Chile, Peru, Guatemala, Ecuador, and Bolivia as well as the United States, Canada, Australia, Spain, and Switzerland. But a lot of them in Argentina. And the cats and the cats helped them. Yeah, but a lot of them in Argentina. The Catholic Church helped them. Yeah, they had this whole thing about it where they went to these towns. They're wearing a leaderhosen. Starting in 1947, some US, what does this say? The rat lines are supported by clergy of the Catholic Church. Starting in 1947, some US, some US. [2:17:01] Citation page needed, that's not true. I mean, it was a a humanity it actually is humanitarian. I love everybody. I love starting in 1947 some US intelligence officers utilize existing rat lines to move certain Nazi strategists and scientists Yeah, like Werner von Braun the head of not the head of NASA. Yeah full on Nazi good So don't hang him. Let's figure out space exploration. Get a juicillemmon. Well, they also were competing because a bunch of them went to Russia as well. So Russia had some scientists. They can't have all the good Nazis. No one wants to make missiles. You can look past a few things. You need to get a missile quicker. Yeah, true. That's true. What you have to. You literally have to. If these are the only guys that are making rockets. God damn it. Do you imagine if they got the bomb first? The Soviet's got it? It would be rough. It would be negative. We would have been the next-goats. The Soviet Union would be funding us right now. They're funding Mexico. They made UFOs. Oh yeah, they made flying saucers. [2:18:06] Yeah, see this is the type of shit I don't, all this stuff, it's like, bro, they were struggling. Well, they also had a deep connection to the occult. I know, but it's like. Weird occult shit. Yeah, yeah, the Nazis. Yeah, because they were gonna kill themselves. That was a suicide. There was also a lot of like evil sentiment. They were trying to win, you know, and they were trying to, there was a lot of weird shit. Like I don't wanna, I don't know really know much about the Nazi occult thing, but I know it's like very well documented. They were heavily into the occult. It also, to me it seems a little, I don't know. It's like, we attribute the most evil shit ever to them. I think they were just a really, really shitty country that was fucking everything up. Like, I don't know. I don't think we need to add like, there were Satanists. Well, they were definitely easy. And I called. But you mean there's other countries that did horrible shit too, just what the Japanese did to the Chinese and the rape of Nanking. [2:19:00] Yeah. You read about some of that stuff. Dude. Yeah, I think it's just surprising. You're like, they were doing what? Whole-srific shit. And the science experiments they would do, they'd give people blood transfusions from various animals and they would cut off limbs and reattach them. They'd do a lot of... They're trying to figure it out. They're trying to figure it out. They're trying to figure it out. No, there Scientific and medical innovation that came out of that unfortunately really yeah Yeah, what what medical innovation came out of the Nazi experiments I think they like learned some things on fucking It's Simon's what's the company Bayer and bear Bear did it. Yeah, I was getting rowdy. Yeah, yeah, they yeah They they tried some medication out on like a hundred and fifty people wasn't like something like that they all died Mangle is yeah, he was like science. He loved twins Twins Yeah, it'd be like if I fucking cut this twins head off how are you feeling? [2:20:02] twins head off how are you feeling? Yeah, that's a huge cry of the idea. Jesus Christ. Dude, they didn't even know about germs. That was the, there was a one guy who like blew the whistle on, I heard the guy's name. They've established up. They were Germans, of course they did. Gerr. Gerr. The Nazis knew about germs, but the guy who like discovered them, there was a hospital attached to then they had where they're delivering babies. So they would like put down a dead body and then just catch a baby out of a woman's vagina. Like women were all dying and he was telling the doctors like you guys got a wash. There's something on those dead bodies that's getting into women's like vaginas. They're all like dude where doctors or hands are clean. We're gentlemen. And then the guy eventually like went nuts and then like a few years later like oh fuck he was right. Because he was washing his hands and mortality rate went down. Yeah, who was it? Fuck, I forgot his name. That was way before World War II. Way, way, way before. Not. Well in World War I Fritz Harbor figured out how to make gas to kill people with gas and he's the same guy who figured out how to pull nitrogen out of the air. [2:21:00] What? So at the same time, this guy is being wanted for war crimes, at the same times being nominated for the Nobel Prize. What? Yeah. For being for pulling, well, the Nobel's are all weird too. They were like dynamite makers. Yeah. Because the guy who told Peter Berg told me about that. So the guy died and they thought he died. There was a fake story about him dying. And they called him like the merchant of death. And he's like, oh, geez, I gotta change my reputation. So he started giving out prizes. Nah, nice. That's what he did. The Nobel Prize. He got to the lab and he got to the lab. He got to the lab and he got to the lab. And they were like, this guy was a fucking asshole. Nah. He start the Nobel Prize, it's gonna cover a strike. Oh yeah. Good work. Everyone's like, he must be the nicest, smartest scientist ever. Nobody even knows about the whole time I think. Nobody does it. Whatever gets brought up, it's like, oh, the Nobel Prize. How prestigious. Do you ever get into the guy who invented diesel? No. There's a book about him, his shit's wild. What did he do? His engine and it was like apparently it helped you want it to like make a small reliable engine so like people in rural areas could compete with like cities [2:22:09] and people could live in a farm and still like produce stuff and not have to like living like fucked up London smoggy city and governments were like yeah we're building fucking weapons of death of these things and like it turned out to be like it was a wild invention like no other nothing could burn stuff as efficiently before. Like, it would capture like 25% of the fuel. These all was like 70% capture in terms of like output. And it was just completely revolutionary. And they, it was just found drowned. Oh, they killed them. Oh, yeah, it was like the kid, a billhound, I think was after him. He made all these governments. 1913. Justin time. Rock and Rock and Felt as well. Just in time for the worst thing ever. He disappeared from the steamship dressed in while traveling from Antwerp, Belgium to Harwich, England. On October 10th, a Belgian sailor aboard a North Sea steamer spotted a body floating in the water upon further investigation. Turned out the body was diesels. There was a remains a great deal of mystery surrounding his death. It was officially judged as suicide, but many people believed and still believed that Diesel was murdered. [2:23:06] Duh. He had the Rockefellers after him too, because they didn't want to, because they got the start of the scandal. I said, like, I looked at it and go, oh, it's the history channel. It's gotta be legit. Then I realized, that's ancient aliens. That's the aliens. The history channel is basically We're done with facts. We're done with facts. Is an history finding Bigfoot? Yeah, probably. Ancient Aliens had me from Ryan. It's really, it's a can in that network. It's a fun show to watch. It's constantly on. Remember what's this fucking name? Action Bronson. He would get big. Dude, that was so good. I showed it to a fucking show. Yeah. That was a really great show. That was a real like a genius idea. Brilliant idea. That's actually not. I thought it was. No, of course it is. It is, but I'm saying it's pretty simple. It's one of the things I got. We should film this. They were definitely getting high watching Achanale. Yeah, which is so fun. They're like set up a camera. This is incredible. It's a more of a better show Solid show, shit a one Emmy [2:24:06] It would shoot a fucking criminals It's better, it wasn't even dominated True Oh, you had Bronson on this? Yeah, a couple times, he's awesome I love that dude I lived in Queens, I wanted to see him He's a great guy He turns out Queens is big, you don't see. That guy fucking, you know, he turned his whole life around. Had a kid and realized I'm fat. I gotta get in shape and now he's like, super stout. He Paul Walden. Works out hard, man. He works out hard. He Paul Walden. Paul Walden did the same thing. He used to be big, right? Yeah, he got in shape as well. Yeah. Turns life around You've been talking about this. I think we get grills to protect our parts. I think obviously that's the move. It'd be so hard to take them out. It would be really hard to talk. Should we just talk like this? I wanted to learn how to talk to you. I wanted to learn how to talk to you. You ever heard guys grills talk? It's a rough one. Paul Warnos had to do it, but he's had a grill in his mouth The riff-rass thing. It's kinda classy, bro. If you don't pick out on the grill, come on. [2:25:06] Like that, look at that. Come on, son. That is nice. It's crazy how much he looks like, Mike. You need to call Johnny Dan. Yeah, I wanted to play it too. He's always smiling. If he's depressed, I will be so sad. Because he's always smiling. Wait, I'll show you what to do. Come on, son. What to do, maybe. Paul Wall. Paul Wall. Southern rap rules. So fucking tight, dude. Yeah. He's still rap, still apparently. Oh, yeah. He pulls things off. He's with Mexican OT and the guy we're listening on the way over here. Really? The plug. Big X, the plug. The plug. Shit, rocked. Yeah, you'd like that. Do you think you'd wear a grill? I would I swear to God I will now obviously I'm not gonna wear it anywhere other than here. I like would have an issue with you rocking a grill Maybe I'm like in a phone call and I go hey Now they were love they got fucking post-moloon. I can kind of do anything. Oh, that's right [2:26:06] They're gonna let you they'll let you think I'm like man. Maybe I shouldn't do this. I'm like, yeah, I got Post Malone. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. Yeah, that's why they want you. Yeah, wow, card. I said, guys, let me fucking work. I'm gonna do what I do. I'm gonna talk about Nazis. I'm gonna talk about Nazis. I'm gonna talk about Nazis. I'm gonna talk about Nazis. I'm gonna talk about Nazis. The Budweiser tour, we're in there and they're like showing the labels from every year in the United States. And then 1930 came around and it was like, perfect English Budweiser. It used to be like German. Yeah, yeah. 1933, they're like Budweiser, American Budweiser, the beer, American. I know it's a bush, Owen the rights to all the diesel engines in America. But those are good Americans. Really? Yeah, let's go dude Yeah, it has bush rules. He owns all the rights the guy what was it fucking not a Dolphus bush whatever though like the old Dolphus bush Dolphus bush went over Dolphus by the way Dolphus Full name super American. No, that's a good America. He went over. He met root the diesel guy [2:27:02] America he went over he met root the diesel guy He would rent hotels and his rent the whole thing out and just hand everyone like 10 dollars 10 dollars 10 dollars met up with diesel was like how much do you want for the rights of this engine? Diesel's people are trying it was like 800,000 francs. He looked at Bush. He was like 2 million francs and he was like no prom player Right in the check and he used to break you write them let it's over every bush might be the guy it took forever to like it didn't work right away he was like do it like they got these guys fronted him a ton of money and like it just wasn't working so he get like mad letters from people being like I do what is this and bush would break his balls you send them letters and be like to come on and just man, what the fuck? And just like fuck it with him. So funny. He was the bro, don't really suppose bro. Never mind me of Elyseez's ass grant when he was selling his biography. I think he sold it to just two guys on a train for 10 bucks. I mean Mark Twain found out about it. [2:28:01] It was like, no, you fucking loser. Yeah, obviously Grant was, he was hitting the fucking butt wide. He was hitting the stokeys and fucking licking. He was drinking responsibly. He was extremely responsible. That's one of his legends. I think he sold his biography on like a train for like 10 bucks while he was responsible. I mean, he's gotta be pumped. Vitchers, it was his first book. It was, anyone gives you anything that you write, you're like, really? I swear to God, it was Mark Twain that was like, no. Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? You saved America. Why are you doing this? Has anybody started taking down Ulysses as Grand Statues yet? They fucking better. No way. No, I mean, he He was good, right? They'd take you down Thomas Jefferson. They took down the Jefferson. Jefferson was, he had him on. He was up to no good. He had him. Yeah. He was his own slaves. He was his own slaves. He, no, no, hold on. Oh yeah, but he was dead broke at the lowest point of his life. He freed his slaves. And even his slaves were like, bro, you should. Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah, sell us. [2:29:06] He's like, oh, bro. Oh, bros. Actually, there's no way they said that. But they were like, thank you. Yeah. So he freed the one who was poor. He was poor, he gave way of slave. He came from a family that was abolitionist, and then he married into a family that had slaves. Whoa. Yeah. And then he would go out like work with his slate like that and people would like see him be like, what the fuck are you doing? I don't know. He was kind of a weirdo. But he free to slaves while he was poor. I imagine he was like, I'll be alright. It was debatable. Whether or not it's cool to have slaves. And some people like, no. They like it. Yeah. I mean, dude. Yeah. The century company was willing to give grant ten percent of all sales after the book is finished when twain heard about the offer he was a paul that how little money grant would get for the sales of the book he believed he could offer grant a thought idea twain wasted little time making his way to new york city convinced grant that he could give him a better deal and twain arrived at his home on 66th Street, Grant and his eldest son, Frederick T. Grant, [2:30:06] were reading over the century company's contract that needed to be signed before publication. Grant was ready to pick up his pen and sign the contract when Twain asked if he could read it before any signature was made. Twain reviewed the contract and believed the 10% royalty being offered was too low and even exploitative. Twain tried to convince Grant that he could give him a better deal, which would provide Grant with more money. Grant was reluctant to back out of the contract that he and the publishers had negotiated. He believed it would be dishonorable to back out after giving his word. Twain tried to convince Grant that he should investigate a different publisher. For example, American publishing company had published many of Twain's books and the company be able to bring in more profit than the century company. Grant was still resistant to the advice when Fred suggested that the contract be set aside while they investigated the facts behind Twain's advice. Grant felt loyalty towards the century company because the work that he had done with the company while he was writing his articles on the Civil War battles. Grant did agree however to listen to Fred and the contract was set aside for [2:31:03] 24 hours. Huh. Interesting. Twain told Granith about selling the book through a subscription system. The book would produce thousands of dollars in sales. Door-to-door salesmen, often civil war veterans, would promote the book and get potential readers to place an order prior to publication. Oh, wow. Anyway, it saved. That was like the new mixed tape. It saved Gran. Gran, it saved. That was like the new mixed tape. It saved Grant. Grant was poor and then all those sales made him rich. But he died right away. Yeah, those dudes used to speak. Right after he wrote the album. Yeah, really? Probably celebrated with booze. No, no, it was the Stogies did. Oh wow, he's always smoking a scar. He died, yeah. Cancer? Yeah. He Yeah, cancer. Yeah, he was smoking like 50. Well, I'm a Cross like 50 a day 50 something like that 25 Yeah, it's a crazy number. It's something like Ron white really close and down Cigarillos puts those little cigarettes down. Oh, yeah, he gets your hooked on those things. The cigarettes So easy Do you inhale those like cigarettes or extra guards really? [2:32:02] Yeah, remember be these be these be these were a little thing when we were younger They sold them in like gas stations and like they were like I don't know what they were like cigarettes But they looked like cigarette up there smaller hmm. They were the harshest fucking things in the world I got black miles for a while black miles with a wine wood tip black miles Damn play I was inhaling the fuck out of this I got so sick there it is Bees bro those things are crazy Get some of those in the woods when you were 10 dude. You're so where they from where's that is that? Maybe like in India in the kind of thing looks like India. Yeah, yeah Yeah, you and your bro's you're like 10 12 years old in the woods with some beatties dude nice Health risks and how to quit you're not safe for alternative to traditional cigarettes duh yeah no hmm you can smoke these those little cigar oh that's kind of nice if you want a little like that's what I can for that's soon off to sit down on a cigar for half an hour it's kind of tight [2:33:03] yeah you're not a wedding where you have to pretend to like cigars. Yeah. You go, god damn, I'm missing the whole wedding. It's 45 minutes. Shout's on, I gotta get in there. Can't smoke cigars with my uncles. These guys stink. Hahaha. Smoking bats. Yeah, we don't down, we smoke a couple bats smoking couple of bats boys sober guys love smoking bats Oh, they do cuz there's one rush they can get true I got love smoking a stogie like a man. It's like not a big cup of coffee desperate to get fucked up I try anything and Jan asked dude I don't know so rock and zan's terrible dude. Those things are awful. Yeah. Everybody about the new snake venom thing people are doing, where you're like, it's called like cambo, where you go and they give, I don't know if it like you ingest a snake venom and like your eyes puff up, you start throwing up and shitting everywhere. You don't get high from it at all. You just get fine with these things. But afterwards apparently you just feel like totally cleaned out or I don't know what it is. Yeah, once you're not sick. No, I'm dying. [2:34:06] It's just good. It kills yeast, like Candida stuff in your body. Who's heavy metals? Who says that? My brother, I don't know. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's it. There's a, in certain cultures that don't have psychedelics, the rights of passage, oftentimes, or or deal poison. Oh yeah. Or deal poison is like something you go through. It's like some horrific thing that poisons you. And then when you're over like, thank God that's over. You feel good because you just had a near death experience. That makes sense actually. Yeah. The trick is your brain and the thing you're dying probably. You probably release all these amazing chemicals. Make you realize you should have been a better person. I mean, I could have been so much like shit. I tell you what, I didn't like, I tried an LSD microdose recently. Compare, I like to still assign them better man. LSD microdose just is relentless. It doesn't, it's constant. Oh, it's for like six straight hours. You feel like like, liquidy, it's weird. I don't know, it was, it wasn't awful, [2:35:01] but I remember just being like this is just just never fucking hurry up and make all that stuff legal. They got it. Shit. Stop buying it from people making it in bathtubs. The grind to dead T shirt on. Oh yeah, every time. So sketchy. I got this straight from the fan. I was so mad. I had some bathtub fucking mushrooms yesterday. Dude, yesterday. Yes, dude. No, I've never had mushrooms like so it was like a chocolate bar. It was like all right. They were like Four blocks is a gram. Okay, so I was like all right of one fucking block. I'm fine. I was high in 15 minutes It was that fast dude. They have these analogs. They have synthetic making now Well, it's just they're not making them in the same place where they make aspirin same places where they make aspirin. Yeah. That is true. Who knows who the fuck is making these things? I told them saying dude, even with the weed edible, dude, they can get gummies and get a distillate of synthetic cannabinoids and shh shh shh. You're just eating like K2 or something. Well you're definitely, they're not regular. You get a 200 milligram once and it's fine and then you get a 200 milligram and you're [2:36:04] on Pluto. Like this is not the same. I would like, I don't think anybody's doing an independent third party testing of weak gummies. No, no, no. No, the third party testing is watching the other guy first. Yeah, they go, all right, he's fine. You'd never seen anybody eat gummies like Joey Diaz. I was with him on a plane once, he had a panic attack. In the middle of the flight, he told me he had a panic attack in the middle of the flight. He goes, but now I'm back. And he pops two more. Oh, 250 milligrams each. Two stars of death. How does, how? He just does it. He likes being scared. It's fun. When you're around him and you're scared too, it's fun. You guys, both of you guys like being scared. No, the best is when they hate it. The weed edible, weed edible when it breaks, it's the best fucking feeling. Yeah, but it's like, what's the point of that? The release. When you're just back to how you were earlier? Yeah, because it's like mundane reality. You're like, hmm, weed edible, and you're like, ah! And then you get the release, you're back. Finally, grateful for once in my pathetic shitty life. Yeah, it's a little real interesting. [2:37:06] Yeah, but it's all right. I understand. It's so much you really thankful that you're alive. I understand that, but people are like, I'm not, like, they're smoking weed like parties. Oh yeah, for sure. I don't wanna have that experience while I'm in public. Oh, right. And then come back like during the party like just hang in there Shane it would be fine I get high I got high like yeah it's true just I think it's gonna hang in there a different party your mind where you go like yeah but what if like didn't give into this weird thought loop and then you like don't give in to him for three seconds or that fucking give him a so last night we left the comedy club went we were out at a bar I I was like, I can't believe how strong that mushroom was. Yeah. I was like, I'm hungry, I have an eaten all day. I went, I ate a euro in the cold by myself. I have a windy bench just like, oh, I literally got up from the table while we were on drinkin' and I was like, [2:38:01] I gotta go outside. I left for 45 minutes. Mm-hmm. And then I came back, I fought it. I was like, while I was eating the hero, I was like, I gotta stop. Why am I being a pussy right now? I'm gonna plow through this. That's another fucking way. I'm gonna drink my way out of this. There you go. There you go. A dolphin's was like, yes. The dolphins was like, the dolphins were like, no. Don't let the mushrooms continue. You know? This is our tour. It was, all right, the dolphins. The dolphins. The heroes saw a choice. That is a great, it was big. Also it was very funny. So I left this bar and I was like, I was high on mushrooms enough to be like, how do I get food? I'm like a food. And now I was like, man, that's so pathetic. I'm in a city and I'm like, food. How do you find food? And then there was a flashing, you're a light. Like it was one of the street vendors and I was like, oh, that's what those lights are for. It's for dumbasses that are like, food, food. Like a flashing lights that just... That's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah, I was like, it's a bug like, for a guy like me, it's like, it's a bug like it is a bug. [2:39:07] It's a total bug like, I went and got zapped. Dude, I was eating, it was cold as fucking windy last night. And then I was like, it also sucks. And now people know who I am a little so like, the next guy was like, look at me, I'm in the cold by myself. Bro, this is a recurring theme people the movie theater see by yourself. That was right. Yeah Myself, but when you realize that now you're getting famous you realize and that's a bit of an issue, right? Yeah, it's uncomfortable I don't like it at all. Yeah, don't disguise. I hate it. You know how hard it is for me to disguise Sitting on a bench by myself eating a sandwich. That's what that mustache. The mustache is back. It's so nice. Well, mushrooms now, people are really getting into the genetics of them. Like they're ramping the strength of those things up. Well, there's some different strains. I agree. Pancians and all that shit. [2:40:01] They're fucking wild, man. And now it could be like, you can eat it grandma mushrooms, it could be a regular grandma mushrooms or it could be eight times stronger. So it's like, Well this town is filled with those psychedelic adventure characters. Yeah, there's a lot of those here. I got hit, I get literally last night. I thought that was gonna be the easy, nice evening. There's synthetics too now. So like if you're running like a giant op where you're selling all the like you grow might get fucked up You can order a chemical offline totally legal. You can order those offline. Oh, yeah, I do say research purposes Yes, and you can get this powder that's like similar to mushrooms. You can just put that into chocolates And that's what I'm saying like the people who make this is it is it still Simon's it's a still a Simon like analogs Maybe so it's like close. Oh really? Yeah, oh you could put that in your stuff That you're sure you can yeah, I mean dirty. You gotta think about it. It's like that's a problem with it being illegal Exactly right you're not buying it from Budwaz because someone has a bush sold their own mushrooms Salamah mushroom light Let's go and I'll bush come on a mushroom light brother, you know [2:41:03] I'll give it a be we would be Vikings dude We would be kings nothing good So it changed the whole culture of the country imagine if people just like ubiquitous mushroom use across the entire There'd be a lot to figure out a lot of mistakes It wouldn't be smooth People would make some dope food on mushrooms Number one, people would make some dope food on mushrooms. Also, you too, but you're not gonna eat on mushrooms. Yeah, even that hungry mushroom. You're out there, you're back yarding. With your pizza oven, with your fucking ladle, on mushrooms, laying down the basil. Oh, the dough would be impossible. Oh, you buy it, you buy it, you buy it made. You buy the dough. No, yeah, you just put whole thing by disorno you take my You buy the whole thing You make La Mer make it you know, hold on you want to the best part about how La Mer makes Dejorno how he doesn't time it He's like, we're about three YouTube videos away He's high shit sit behind me like how long since YouTube video we're about two more YouTube videos away from the [2:42:00] Dejorno he's going to smell probably he can go off that the smell was strong and I was I was like are you sure? This is our one Did you know in that half burn this fucks up were fuck Jamie what is the best frozen pizza there's got to be like a fucking Mercedes of frozen pizzas what is it? You can get some local ones than the cities you're at because they'll make taken-bakes. There's like moms bake at home pizza. That's a big chance. But a local one is the move. That's the move. You get just the actual pizza that they serve you. They do deep dish. Yeah. The Chicago does deep dish all those places. That's the move. Take them. That's a fucking move. You're actually making the real pizza. The last, yeah. Again, you don't need pizza in your house. That's true. Because you're gonna eat it. You're gonna eat it, day one. You're gonna eat it, day one, day one. But one night we went over Rapolo's next to the club. We got like fucking 10 giant pizzas. The big giant ones and just gave Oh, so I knew I was eating garbage a news terrible form. I loved every second. Yeah, and I powered through [2:43:06] I was fine. Yeah, I mean, I know it's not good for me, but it's good for me Yeah, good for the soul Let loose yeah good for the soul Yeah, 80 20 roll bro 20% junk 80% clean. Yeah Absolutely Bullshit carbs in your life. Yeah, it's like the snake venom This is fucking whatever they call that thing every now and then you want some bullshit carbs in your life you want to fucking Big balls spaghetti and meatballs. Yes, give it to me. Give me give me give me I'm gonna get like pulled off dude homemade homemade spaghetti. I get it like pulled off the pot I'll fuck I'll put myself in a coma with a good I can't stop going on this sauce You know when the fucking got that sauce cooking all day Bumbling up on the stove and the smells and it's all the oils are on the top You're gonna stir it and you see the sausage in there and the brajole and meatballs [2:44:03] Baby never never in the bargeol and meat balls. Oh, baby. I never, never paid me. My mom cooks like a fucking moron. We were jarged sauce. Yeah, we were jarged sauce. We got. My grandmother made everything from scratch. The sauce on the pasta. She was, she'd be on the kitchen table. I got an hour of the rolling pan. My grandma was mean. I was a nice either. She didn't cook anything. Irish houses are canned sauce. Irish houses are smooth canned sauce. That's that spaghetti is cooked in five seconds and then you just ground beef. You get wet lasagna. The lasagna is soaking wet. The last piece is in a puddle. It falls apart. Yeah. What is this? Part of me, Paul, my mom would just take hamburger meat. I used to like, Veele pork. It was just a burger. And then she put bread crumbs in it too. He's like, that's all my dad liked them. So she would just cram like a fucking baseball side burger. That's good though. That's good.per's delicious. [2:45:05] Yeah, it's so good. We got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't fuck with beans either But chili. I'll eat them the texture. I'm like they're like a lottery Beans rule with fucking peppers and the tomatoes in there Chili. I'll eat them in chili. I like them. I like them in chili top of it. Yeah, I like them in chili But a solid chili Baked beans. Fuck. Oh my god I lived off I was eating baked beans as my only meal for several years Read like the dentist the men as mag guy Probably will barbecue There's little baked beans with barbecues I don't fucking beans either man I'm odd Only in chili or in soup I don't like beans that I make them like [2:46:00] This is crap what you're saying It's true I don't like the powdery texture I've tried something more smooth and smoky. It's viscous, it's salty. I know what you like. Like clams and salt. Yeah, not oysters. I love eating nut. Yeah, I bet nut, if I was into it, I bet nuts fucking good. Probably if you're really interested. Yeah, especially if you get into it, you know, different like years, different types of dudes. If I had one pasta, it would be linguine with white clam sauce. It's a good one. Done well. Yeah. It's done really well. Oh my god. Yeah. It's gonna be fucking good. Oh, it's good. They look good They don't run good. They look good. They break the law. They look good. They trail they're good at paintings good at sculptures Good at handling a wave of an upper respiratory infection though. Yeah, they did it. Yeah, fucking crush They scared the fuck out of the whole world. Yeah, everybody's like oh my god. That's coming to us [2:47:03] Was throwing their apartments, singing out the windows. They got fucking yelling at people that go outside. Yeah, they were the first to lock people down, too. Yeah. They were like, what the fuck is going on here? Well, they said it wasn't a fashion week. I think they had like the people come in from like China and stuff in the fashion week. than that never seen a vitamin. They're shaking wine every day. They all smoke cigarettes. They're eating nothing but lasagna. They eat pasta. By the way, a lot thinner than us though. That's what's crazy. Yeah, it's weird. There's carb heavy food over there and they look great. It's because they're not fit. They don't munch like us. I mean, even in Spain, I was in Spain, everything you eat is Mediterranean. The portions, shit, yeah. Yeah, they take it easy. Yeah. I was over there, house insurance. What do you think it is? You think we're just glutton's? Is that what a lot of it is? Maybe. On this guy that's Tucker Carlson thing? They were saying this scientist, the Dianna, or this guy that Dianna used to work for the pharmacy. He was saying that Of all food stamps the number one thing the people buy with food stamps is soda [2:48:11] Yeah, so does so good. It's so good. I don't I really don't drink it ever I don't need it, but a ice cold cocoa on ice like a real coke burger fries Not a diet coke I love diet coke just for the flavor I don't but I feel fine when I drink a diet coke It makes me feel weird when I drink a diet coke. And that makes me feel weird. When I drink a coke, my body's like, what are you? Yeah, dude. Dude, there's a lot of people who for real don't understand how sugar works at all. Like I used to work with guys that would put 12 sugars in their coffee. And then I'd be like, dude, you're gonna get diabetes and I'm gonna get it. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. There's two times to be, bro. I'm like, you're gonna get it. You're going to have that. If you put 12 sugars every day in your coffee, you say, bro, if it comes to me, it comes to me. I'm like, no, man. Well, that was number one of the number one reasons why people died at COVID. Which account for five percent of the dollars they spent on food? Wow, okay, so this guy was saying it was 10 percent apparently this this is saying that it's 5 percent might have changed [2:49:09] But people drink a lot of fucking soda. This is this is 2016 it said that down there 2017 My I mean, I'm sure it's more look. It's so goddamn addictive. I get it though if you're on food stamps Yeah, you're right ride bro. Yeah, you're right. Ride, bro. Yeah. Why would I drink water? You don't want to get out of there. You don't want to be on food stamps forever. Drink water. It's cheaper. You know you're ready to get on food stamps? Eat food, but get a job. No. What? It's send to the next life. Yeah. Oh, that's it. It's on the way. No, Jesus. I'm just saying. I was on a post-ap for that last week. So to call it a day. Do you ever see one guy's carrying around a personal two-liter? Jesus. Yeah, that's a wild move. I've seen dudes do. That's a crazy commitment to bad health. Yeah, you hold it around. Just walk around carrying it. Yeah, soft drinks. [2:50:06] Well, snap house also. It's more, it's more with the people that are on food stamps than it is with people aren't, which is interesting. Oh, quite a bit more. 4% to 5%. Yeah. Yeah, they're also there to it. More than, yeah, more than 5%. Interest Otis taking a hard hit too is a lot of people are just off it. I don't think so really. I think it's fucking it's fine Yeah, I mean it's people a lot of it. Yeah, people love it People love it. They can't help but they lie. They lie. They say I don't drink it I don't fucking touch it. I don't drink soda at all now I drink die coke a drink die coke and die Dr. Papparel drink, but you know what, I really like it, Zeevia's. Zeevia's a guilt-free coke. A guilt-free soda rather. Zeevia's sweetened with stevia. That's the only artificial sweetener I can have. All the other ones, I'm like, dude, it's fucking good. They make a cream soda, it's fucking great. They make a root beer, it's fucking great. And it's basically guilt free. It's just carbonated water with some stevia in it. [2:51:07] And some funky flavors. It's not bad. What is stevia, what does a zevia use for their flavors? I drink it all the time, dude. I'm gonna answer it. No! Don't say that. It's not a bad, it's a... The secret ingredient is cancer. Doesn't dye Coke fuck you up though. I'm sure it does if you're a pussy. I don't know. Trump Donald Trump. Trump dog is crushing 40 a day. He's gonna be a president. He's gonna be 90. Yeah. When he's 80, you don't tell him to stop drinking Diet Coke. No. You say ride that fucking boat right into the rocks. Yeah. So yeah. Damn. I like that. I like that. against Biden. To me, obviously there's no argument. Trump's more cognitive than Joe Biden. Of course. But it's not like he's no spring chicken. He's gonna be fucking geased up himself. No, the Republicans wanted the best folks. It's Vivek. Yeah, dude. That guy's an animal. Smooth, dude. I was just praising him on the way here. I've been watching him on the breakfast club. He's so good. He's so composed. And he's only 38, which is what you want. You want someone to actually have a future. [2:52:06] 38 might be a little young. I'm gonna leave my mark, bang. Yeah, you don't want that. I like him, man. The more I watch of him, the more I like him. I like him a lot. I like Bobby, dude. I like Bobby's my top choice, but Vivek is. Vivek says a lot of very reasonable shit. The other thing on abortion, what is that? If you're a man and you procreate with a woman, you're responsible financially for that baby and that woman. Like, he would expand, his thing is expand child support to like the woman and the baby. That would change a lot. For 18 years and he was like, I think that brings both it was kind of like. Wait. You were saying if you get a lady pregnant, you got paid for both of them. Oh yeah, because he was like the woman has to bear the biological pain. Hold on a second. What about women are equal? Yeah, for vague sign. But yeah, hold on a second. The vague sign did not, but it's not an equal job. There's not an equal responsibility. It's not an equal job. No, I like that. You guys want to play double child support as well, you guys know what I think you should? support why it's up to the woman's discretion how she spends it anyway right yeah me just not to document that it's only being spent on a child oh no they can do [2:53:08] whatever they want but yeah no a woman raising a child yeah you could have paid for her and the child and she got a boy from twice I would punch that in the back I think twice for nothing about Vivek when I'm not in the news host. It's for fake. My bad. It's not for you, Vek. What? Vek like cake. Vek? Vervines like rhymes with cake. You know what I'm not. Yeah, it took me a while too. I know, Vek. I try to ram a swamy. Try that one. I want to hinder you, president. So bad too. He's saying some wild shit about like getting rid of the CIA and getting rid of the FBI like, pro. Yeah, he's gonna put you in a convertible. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, ah, shouldn't we have a roof here? Should the car have a roof? Nah, just get in the back. What are all those men doing in the grass? You know, oh guys, lifting up an umbrella, that's weird. [2:54:07] Yeah, I like a man. Fuck. Here, I mean, dude, I think the future's bright. I think we'll get, uh, we'll get some more years. Nice here. That's, um, that's so optimistic. Well, you can't bullshit really anymore. People are going to start expectingly. If you're a president in 10 years from now, at We're long-form people in a big fuck this guy. It's like that's like a Shamwell guy. It's like dude That is true info-mercial that is true that is true. They can sit and chop it up Bobby Kennedy can sit and chop it up. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna start being like Dig it man a Bobby Kennedy. Whoo love that guy. So what what are they mad at? Well, it's always vaccines But it's always the vaccine. It's not that unreasonable. There's an adjutant in them to evoke an immune response. Adjutant evoke. Yeah. Yeah. And it used to be mercury and sometimes it's aluminum. I'm sick of that. Fucking adjutants. It's a it's a real thing and it's it's wild. How many people are not willing to even look at it as a possibility. It's religious. It's a religious thing because [2:55:04] if you're a full scientist, like your religious worldview is that we're one day going to conquer the mysteries of our existence via like technological progress. Vaccines are a big part of that. So if you're like, they're definitely good, but maybe they're kind of fucking us up. But it's like most things. It's like most Yeah, they absolutely do work in a lot of ways. Did you can die from Tylenol? I took too many Tylenol as my liver will shut down. Well, it's also different people have different responses You know I can you Brazil nuts all day long you give me some people they drop dead exactly Yeah, there's a good impact of my fucking pussy will fall off. Yeah, you pussy rock time You charred pussy safe pussy Wow imagine if you're religious and you're fucking your pussy start showing like scorch signs and your pussy starts showing like scorch signs. Yeah. That's hell pulling it, your pussy. Makes sense. Yeah, because you're too lazy to put that on Churros. Yeah. Are you as me? Churros are good, dude. Churros are so fucking. Does you any smell that Churros stand? Oh, I'm like, I'm at Disneyland. I'm getting a best choice of food. [2:56:06] I was probably filled with chemicals, right? Yeah. But that's probably not real smoke. Oh, dude. They probably didn't really smoke that turkey. That was a headless turkey, by the way. Yeah, a fucking lot. Yeah. Yeah. Those turkey legs just do it. That's those bio labs and you can you want to feel good about your food yeah what is up with those bio labs I don't know I don't know they found a lot of them bro what do you think we're doing over there I mean that's probably one of the way I was like guys guys we got you we got you coming back yeah dude settle down those brysma though I don't know anything it's all right well I don't know it's called gonna call that I went into who blew up the Nordstrom pipeline? I don't even know. I don't know either. There's all types of stuff. I don't even know How the false Russia Biolab story came to circulate among the US far right? Let's go So is it shit it circulated among me hold on? It was a lurid and difficult to believe claim the Ukraine was developing biological weapons with the assistance of the US government [2:57:01] In fact the US assistance to Ukrainian biological labs has been targeted at strengthening public health measures. Both the US and Ukraine have also signed a treaty vowing to never produce or use biological weapons. We promise. We funded Ruhe. But hold on a second, this is their saying. But this is their saying, US assistance to Ukrainian biological labs exists, but has been targeted at strengthening public health measures. So they do have biological labs. Now, by the way, there's a long history of biological warfare over there that I was on this show called Joe Rogan Questions Everything and one of the things that I did is I interviewed this former Soviet scientist and he's like, do we have trenches filled with anthrax? He goes, there was all sorts of plans in place that if anything went sideways, they were gonna figure out a way to poison Americans. They were gonna, I mean, it's a legitimate biological weapons tactic to develop. But why would you, look, why would you think that if we developed nuclear weapons, would you develop hydrogen weapons? [2:58:00] Would you, would you, would you develop all these fucking supersonic missiles? Who wouldn't fuck with viruses. It's fucking bullshits. That's crazy. What do we do? Oh, 100% we do. That's what just killed probably, that's what killed a bunch of people. It probably had something to do with that. We shut down our whole thing. Yeah, well they most certainly developed that in the lab. That has been established now. They know, they literally know that the strain that came out. Are you sure? The guy didn't fucking eat a bat in a bag. A penguin. Sure. Yeah. The wet market. It's a wet market, but it's weird because that became political. Yeah. Wet market was nice though, because then they filmed the wet market and you're like, yeah, obviously. Right, but then the people on the left wanted to believe it came from the wet market. But because the people on the right were saying it's the China virus. It was a lab. It was a lab. No, that's a conspiracy theory. So people argued as if their side had a win. It has to be the wet market. Because if it doesn't then the fascist win. [2:59:01] They had this crazy connection to the source of a fucking pandemic disease. Dude, I caught it and I was like, I was like this doesn't feel like anything I've ever had before. It was like, really wasn't that bad. It was two days fever, but then like, I was just hacking up like, it wasn't even mucus. It was like liquid, doesn't it? What the fuck is shit? It was like, me and my wife were both like dude this feels like some weird artificial something it felt everybody said that it felt alien it did dude yeah I felt alien I think it's a new it was a new this is a new type of being sick yeah a new type of being sick yeah jammed it though well you want did you take vitamins or anything back then yeah that's what I'm thinking I was taking most people that really got it hard they did I was more of vitamins guys so, so I was fine. No, he was drinking beer. Beer works. Well, no, it doesn't. For the record, it's responsible. No, it doesn't. You're a spokesman now. You gotta be careful about your comments. I'm very, very responsible. Hey, Cody, you could shit it out. You could diary it out. It actually, what is Bangalon, yeah, I've seen it. They're cool looking. Oh, that thing looks fucking delicious. That's that bastard that's pretty historic. Yeah, you know, they curl up in a ball. [3:00:07] Yeah, dude. Yeah, it's just there. Armored doing them. They're armored, man. You can even cut that shit. Look how cool they are. God, that looks like it belongs a million years ago, doesn't it? That's a good guy What's your favorite animal? If I had one that I loved to look at. I need you to have an answer. If I had one I loved to look at. For me it's always primates. Always primates. I disagree. If I could find one animal that I wouldn't be. I couldn't disagree more. That one animal that I could go check out, it would be the Bondo ape. Compared to a river otter? Yeah. It's otters You like watching the other episode you river out of where they fight Comes after another gang they fucking do you ever see monkey see magic tricks That's fun dudes go to the zoo and do magic tricks the monkeys ago Every time they act dude. It's always an a the monkey acts like he's not watching bro You just stuff your snop rag right back in your pocket [3:01:02] It's like a hanky dude you're a a man hang your chef man show us the month here fully Bro look at the bucket the bucket freak down show that again. JV show that again watch this Check it out dude Every single time they go It's like oh shit. This is crazy. It's like, oh shit, this is crazy. That's amazing. There it is. Nice, now you don't. Look at him, he's like, this is amazing. Oh, it's so fucking funny. That makes sense why I like magic so much. Yeah, magic rules. Yeah, it's awesome. It is crazy. You go. But if there's one animal that I can go see, it's called the Bondo ape. It's an enormous chimpanzee that lives in one specific area of the Congo. That these thing was mythological, but now they have tissue samples, they have skulls, they have accrested skull like a gorilla. They nest on the ground like a gorilla, so it's huge. They're like six feet tall chimpanzees. Yeah, and the locals have two different types of chimps. Look at the size of them. Damn. Yeah, one they call tree beaders, [3:02:06] the other one they call lion killers. Cut that guys throat. What the fuck? They shot them in an airport. Yeah. They shot them in an airport? Yeah. Look at the size of the, well that looks like a gorilla to me. Yeah, that's a big boy. That's a gorilla. But. There's a guy named Carl Arman who's a swish wildlife photographer. You did a magic trick. You did a slide-hood to find these things. It's a documented animal. They know it's a real thing. They have videos of them. They're really big chimpanzees. They don't think necessarily it's a different species. They think it's like a different... Like the Clydesdale's. It's still a horse. But it's like a crazy big horse. But there's this one area called, I think it's called Bealy in the Congo that has this enormous, enormous chimpanzee. Damn. Yeah. I would wanna see that. I don't like chimpanzees. No. You didn't like chimnation? I did, yeah, I liked it. But there's two similar, it's the human ears that fuck me up. No other animal I have those. It's unset. I don't know. Some of the battle I don't [3:03:05] love. They have evil oxygen. You don't want to see a red panda? And that arm. The fucking size of his arm. I would give it super proud. Yeah, bring up red pandas. Look at the size of his arms. Look at his fucking build man. Insane. I'd be stoked to be built like that. Look at him. Look at the size of them that's yeah, they do they do rule they are funny. I might just I might be Dogs dogs Wild being around wolves would be amazing So cute look at his little face. Oh my goodness Oh my goodness honey badger honey badgers. Does it pretty dope. They're flat badgers in the shit badgers are awesome Wolverines are Wolverines. I just love that they come in tell everybody get the fuck They tack like big cats and big cats are like [3:04:02] What the fuck are you doing? Fuck off! Fuck off! Fucking kill me! They're dirty bouts! Fuck off! It's the funniest animal possible. Yeah, they are. You can kill me right now by the fuck. Yeah, there's a most psycho animal for sure. It's insane. Yeah. You sent me the video of them like going at lions. It's been like, what the fuck? And all the lions are like confused. Yeah for a second one of them will get bit the all run so fucking funny yeah So tough I got I saw a badger once in the middle of the road and I got out the film it and start walking towards me I ran right back. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, fuck you up dude look at that badger nothing This is nothing to me. What these Jaguar as a trying to kill him is like fuck off trying to kill him is like fuck off. Fuck you, bitch. You're just always fucking doing bitch. Fucking doing bitch. Bite your dick. Bite your dick. He's gonna write for the dick. Look, the cat's trying to kill him. He's like, nope, you can't kill me. I was watching the thing on him. I think it's like, I'm gonna fuck off. I'm gonna bite your dick. He's gonna write for dick. They don't have flight. No, it's all fight. It's they just go at you. So it's all animals are confused by it and they seem [3:05:06] Involverable. Yeah, they have to take some lights. Oh, and they're smart dude. There's one There's one video this guy that tried to keep one in captivity and it kept building stuff to escape Oh, yeah, he had to cut down trees he had to hide everything because it just kept getting out Remember we saw that, made it so, it's just so smart. There's those determined, and they just get out to run around and fight. I gotta get out of here, I gotta fuck something up. Isn't it crazy that nature made that and a giraffe? Like nature's like, all everything, the whole, all of it, everything. Grasshoppers, let's go. Yeah, it's, frogs Frogs birds fuck it. It's a bug. God is great. God is great God made all types of bullshit mean and it made people to make films of it It's awesome. Yeah, I bug out on like all the stuff that's made on my dude. This is crazy Yeah, it is great universe planets It's also when you see them fighting you realize how goddamn vulnerable we are. Oh, yeah, it's so weak [3:06:05] Even like you have see fighters like see the different, like our skin is made of tissue paper. Yeah. We get cut all the time. Dude, all of our vulnerable organs are right here. It's all soft. Everything's soft. For real. Even like the elite. I know. You know, like you're talking about mad hues, like that, even that guy, like against an animal. It's just vulnerable. Just nothing. Honey badger first be hive. Oh, he doesn't give a fuck about bees. He doesn't give a fuck sting me bitch. Break the entire thing. Sting me bitch. Stung me bitch. He's getting stung. He's getting stung. He's getting mad. You go right back. Fuck it. Ow. He's getting stung at his face. What a little psycho eyes they have. Yeah. We saw Tasmanian Devils in Australia, and those things were cool. Yeah, Tasmanian Devils. Oh, yeah. So cool. That might be the favorite thing I've ever seen in a zoo. Yeah. They have contagious cancer. What? Yeah, they have herpes or they have it as well. It's like, I thought it was too, but it's a kind of cancer that we have for fighting each other. Yeah, they bite each other in the face so much and they've get this crazy face to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [3:07:07] Dangerous cancer. Qualives were fun. Qualives were tight. Comedy boys. Yeah, they have a chlamydia, right? Yeah. Everybody says that. Every time you hold them, they're like, watch out. They're in real calm. You don't know what I'm up to. Until there's on to them. Yeah, let go. You stop feeding them for a little while. Hey, mother fucker. Yeah. Where's the food and the changes what it is? Yeah, they get nasty. They're feeding them shit the whole time chillin' out. Probably drug them up a little too. Have you heard of a drop bear? A what? A drop bear. What's a drop bear? Sounds like it's awesome. No, it's it went around the internet. It's not real. There's a but it looks like there's a bunch of facts about drop air It's a koala with its mouth open. Yeah, it's just it's not real, but it's they've made it sound real So they just have koalas with their mouth open. They say they're more aggressive koalas or something Jamie watch what they say they can fit their heads human him heights and size 45 meters. 45 meters. They actually can't break. [3:08:06] They fall out of fucking trees. They fall out of the tree all the time. Yeah, they get fucked up. Yeah, they get fucked up. You know, doesn't get fucked up? Squirrels. Squirrels fall from squirrels too. So far, dude. They push each other out of trees. When they're trying to fuck, get out of there. Yeah, get out of here. They're like really good at falling. Oh Jamie, can you find a video that there's a quality that attacks a kid and it's very funny. Oh no. Well it's just an adorable quality running up and everyone's like, oh nice. He just starts going out of the kid. Yeah, they're a little bear, it's man. Yeah, at the end of the day, they're over there. getting that kid. Oh my god. It's like a wheel and stitch. Bro, imagine that. Oh. You're a little kid and you get attacked by that motherfucker. Oh fuck you up. And Teddy Bear killed you? Yeah. And as he probably thinks your small people are not people. That's all dogs sometimes. Oh, oh, dogs think that small people are animals. He runs off and so funny. He's a fucking mom. [3:09:01] Just an adorable animal. I would have beat the shit out of that guy. That guy called, he handled that a lot better than the wrestling coach. I would have fucking destroyed that claw. Yeah, I would have too. Dude, I would have fun to do that thing. Stop it. Yeah, fuck out of here. Guy throwing a raccoon, when it attacks the stoke. Fire it up. Oh yeah. It's wonderful. You ever see the one with is on the fence and the her dogs are dog yeah she pushes the fucking bear off the fence she pushed the bear off the wall no it's like a young girl too she's like 16 she's like the fuck out here she's like so in rage try to keep this one watch this as ladies trying to keep her her dogs alive so the bear comes up he's on the fence there on the wall there yeah so the dogs see it and they go running. Oh, with its color. No This crazy look she pushes it right over the edge damn that lady's wild [3:10:05] That's a wild lady that lady's got balls you You know it's wild. It's this is from Fox or land. Oh, there's no way that was in of course it is 100% yeah, they have a lot of bears in Florida Ford has a large bear population. Yeah, so I'm gonna get it killed by a bear there a few years ago Damn ever mothering instincts kicked in. Yeah, some people don't play That whole crew all the shitty dogs ran out to fight. She ran out to fight. There's parents who throw their ass in there. You don't fuck. There's like, what is it? All these losers are fighting me. A little tiny dogs. They don't fuck around. Like little dogs will attack everything. They don't know how I was too. It's a very bad experience. Getting really good. Oh wow. Yeah, she's a kid gangster good for her Boys wrap this up. Yeah, how are you? Yeah, Matt chain secret podcast. They'll be everywhere, right? Thank you Brothers. Where is it? That's everywhere. It's awesome. Yeah, it's all over the place. Awesome. So there is Thank you so much. My pleasure. You see you guys again. You rule.