#2042 - Joe List


7 months ago




Joe List

4 appearances

Joe List is a stand-up comic and co-host, along with Mark Normand, of the "Tuesdays with Stories!" podcast. His latest special, "Enough for Everybody," is now available on YouTube.www.comedianjoelist.com

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7mo ago

Whoa! Joe List Kill Tony incomming?





Jon Krakauer, Into The Wild


Episodes from 2023

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I'm gonna have a little bit of a smooth, baby. Hey, what's up, Joe List? What's happening, baby? We're back. The two Joes. What's going on, Joseph? The smoking Joes. That's us, dude. Last night was fun as fuck. It's been fun having you. Two nights in a row. Yeah, thanks. Three nights. I was there for, well, I don't know if I'm allowed to say, yeah, I was there Monday. Yeah. But yeah, it's been awesome. I mean, obviously everyone tells you, everyone says it. It's one of those things, I wanted to be the guy that was like, nah, I don't know, it's not so great. But no, it's fucking awesome. No, we did it right. What an atmosphere. Yeah. Great green room. I mean, that's the only green room you can smoke cigars in. That's not true, there's some. I was just in Nashville at Zany's, and the manager was very nice, and he was like, you can smoke a cigar if you want. Oh yeah, Zany's is great. But I was like, I don't think I'm doing smoke a cigar in the green room numbers. You know what I mean? I'm like, you gotta add a couple shows before you're lighting a fucking stick in the green room, I think. I think when we were in England, they told us that if you smoke inside, it's like a severe fine, something really crazy. So you can't even smoke in the green room in England if you do shows. Right, yeah. Mostly I don't like smoking indoors, because you fucking stink, and the secondhand smoke can bother me, but your green room is really well ventilated also. Yeah, you see this big vent in the ceiling in that place when you go in there. We set it up on purpose, so that people can smoke in there. No, I like when you can just watch the smoke, just go straight out, you're like, this is nice. I think it's only the comic smoke cigarettes, and other, and you wanna suck the air out. You don't want everybody to be subject to it. It's a wet dream in there. Have you had anyone get too fucked up, where you're like, dude, you gotta, because all I think about when I was drinking, if you just had whiskey and booze with help yourself, there's gotta be a few people that are gonna be problematic at some point. Everybody's been keeping it together so far. Okay. We'll see, see as the crowd grows. I'm interested, it feels like a kind of thing, but I come back in a year, and it's like, there's a safe with all the booze in it, and they're like, yeah, fucking so-and-so came in and ruined everybody. Nah, I don't think there's that many of those super off-the-rail guys left. I think that's a good point. My wife and I talk about this a lot, but I think maybe, because we're older though, I'm sure there's a bunch of comics in their 20s that really get after it. Yeah, I bet that's true. Yeah, we just probably don't know them. I'm thinking like established comics, because there was established comics when I was coming up that were national headliners that you just knew were off-the-rails. Yeah, I actually think it's very difficult to sustain boozing that hard and be successful. Most of it was Coke, was what I, when someone was like an off-the-rails guy, like completely out of control, it was booze, but it was a lot of Coke. Right, were you ever a Coke guy? No. No, me either. Yeah, that's what I wanted to say. I was too afraid of snorting a thing, and then no one ever said good things about Coke to me. Until later, I heard every once in a while, but mostly people were like, ah, don't do Coke, it makes you crazy, your heart's gonna explode. People didn't sell cocaine to me. Well, it just didn't seem like the people that I saw doing Coke were going anywhere. It just seemed like it was tripping up their life pretty bad. Right, right. I was very fortunate that when I was in high school, my friend, his cousin, was selling it, and his cousin got addicted to it, and I watched this guy go from being a normal guy to being this person who just hung out in this attic apartment and lost all this weight, and just did Coke and watched TV and sold Coke. It's like you got bit by a vampire. Yeah. Wow. I'm always afraid my heart is gonna explode even without doing Coke. I actually have like a, my heart will raise, I'm just so paranoid about, does hard shit ever fuck you up? Mentally, the fact that your heart beats every second or whatever for 80 years, and if it stops, that's the end of it. That's how it works, Jill, this. I know, but does that ever trip you out a little bit? I mean, I don't wanna sound like, it's fucking crazy, man, but I'm like, that's nuts. It is nuts, yeah, and if it stops, you're dead, and if you get a transplant, it's a motherfucker. They're trying to do pig transplants now. They did it on this one guy, and one person, I don't know if it was a guy or a gal, or a non-binary folk, like a fisher folk, but they did it, and the person stayed alive for a short amount of time. I think it was like a couple weeks. So they just jammed a pig heart in there? It's a modified pig heart, somehow or another. Pig parts and human parts, apparently, are like super similar in some way. I fucked a few pigs. Hello, folks. Dang you son of a gun. What does it say here? How long did the man with the pig heart live? He lived for 61 days. Hey, that's not bad. That's not bad. I've been working on the new pig to human transplantation technique for over 30 years, if successful, harvesting hearts from genetically modified pigs who've genes have been altered so they can be safely transplanted to humans may one day be a reality. Wow. I think on the way to that though, I bet they're gonna like 3D print hearts. Yeah, I think so. I think, as scary as AI is, I think all our problems are over, dude. We're gonna be making hearts and brains and all kinds of shit. We're gonna be connected to the Matrix, eating steak. I'm gonna be an important person, like Joey Pants. Yeah, we're gonna be great. I'm gonna have a perfect eyesight and a strong jawline by the end of the year, I think. You're not gonna stop there. You're gonna look like He-Man. I'm gonna go buy a fucking big chest cock. You're gonna go Superman. You're gonna go the Hulk. Why wouldn't you? You wanna be a fucking human when you could be a superhero? If you can genetically alter yourself to make yourself more masculine and thick and bigger and stronger, why would you stop at three? Wouldn't you go to 26? Right. Well, I don't think I could be more masculine, but I do feel like I would like, yeah, some more girth and really- If that could be done genetically, though, where would you stop? That's the question. Right. People would get ridiculous. It's like when people don't, I mean, I'm sure you've seen those Instagram videos of people with fake butts walking on the beach. Yes. They just went so far. It's like, what? This is great. You're gonna die. That stuff can't be good for you. What is that? Yeah, I see it all the time. You just look imbalanced. It doesn't look good. It looks insane. It's an insane look. But my point is, if they can do that with genetics, if it ever gets to a point where the mold of what we think of as the human physique has been completely thrown out the window, because now we're gonna alter it from its very core to be a completely different structure, you're gonna just change what a person looks like. People are gonna be giants. They're gonna be dragons. It's gonna be fucking real life cosplay. Right, do you think anybody will be like, I'm sticking with this. I'm going long and thin and. Oh, there's gonna be a few people that pretend for a little while. Well, this is the same folks that say, I don't even have email. Fuck you. You got email now, bitch. You know, 2001, you might not have had email. But I bet you have it now. Yeah, well you have to have it now, I feel like. Yeah, you kinda have to have it now. I enjoy email. That's my take. Well, it's certainly better than not having email. I mean, people are like, well, in the privacy and they're hacking your email and they're sending you these scams and yep, yep. That's what comes with this new thing. Well, I just had a friend who works for some business that was, I don't know all the detail, nor would I share them if I had them, but their company was getting sued or something and then they just accessed his emails and now they have 100% of his email. So he was saying, don't ever email a fucking joke, like, hey, I'm gonna kill that guy or anything because they have it. We should do all phone communication. Maybe they're listening to the phones too, I don't know. I'm sure they are. I think they didn't lock that down quick enough and when Edward Snowden exposed the NSA's gigantic sweeping surveillance sort of thing, and it's all under the guise of stopping terrorism, which by the way, you fucking never hear about anymore. What happened to terrorism? We nailed it. Climate change took the spot of terrorism. Well, we stopped it. Patriot Act worked, baby. It must've. We did it. It must've, otherwise they'd be talking about it. We done did it. Do you remember when after 9-11, there would be a threat level, like our code? Yeah. Today's code is yellow. It was like forest fires. Like, okay, we're good, yellow's good. Right. You know, I'd have to bring a bulletproof vest to Starbucks. Yeah, it was scary as fuck. It was like, they really got to us, but they nailed that terrorist attack. I mean, they knocked it out of the park, so. It was certainly, it was like one of the all time great terrorist attacks in terms of publicity, in terms of like how it affected the world. It's gotta be number one, right? Yeah, but it's just a crazy thing that an action like that changes your rights forever. Changes everybody's rights forever. But don't you think, someone was just debating this somewhere. Doesn't it feel like COVID feels like it changed life more than 9-11? Like 9-11, it's now like shoes and you can't at the airport and you can't go to the gate. Right. But other than that, it doesn't really feel that different. Whereas COVID does feel different. Where like cities have emptied out and people still wear masks and six feet. It's just much more, life feels more different after this than it did 9-11. Well, because COVID got everyone to comply. COVID got everyone to do things that whoever was on television was telling you to do. Right. But it became a different thing where there was an experimental medication and you were encouraged to take it. And if you took it, you wanted other people to take it too. Right. There's a fucking thing that people do. When they do something, they want you to do it too. And especially if they can connect what they did with doing the right thing, they want you to do it. Sure. People do that with everything. They do that with yoga class. You don't think they do that with vaccines? No, I think this all the time in New York where you see people, one person starts crossing the street while the light is green and literally the entire herd starts following them. And then a car comes like fucking, and then they have to jump back because they were just watching that one person. Yeah, happens all the time. People go and, well, it's also cell phone brain too. Right. Because people are constantly checking their, oh, we're walking now? And they just will walk. Yeah. Yeah, the, did you know, I heard this recently, that gum sales have gone down gum and candy because people are looking at their phone in line at like CVS instead of just staring at, you know how they have the gum and candy underneath the register? Interesting. Yeah, that's what I, I don't know if I read it or heard it, but like before you'd be staring going, oh man, I could go for a Milky Way. But now instead you're looking at, you know, a pigeon feeling on a guy. That completely makes sense. Yeah, so. Yeah, that really makes sense. Of course. Yeah, people just want, that's a new distraction. I wonder if it's the same thing as the supermarket when those stupid tabloids, one of their selling less. I would imagine so. Yeah, who's buying that now? Well, they have tabloids built into the phone. Yeah. Now, also like the stories aren't outrageous enough. Right. Compared to what's like real online, it's mostly fluff pieces because you have to get celebrities to agree to do them. Like, you know, us and people and all those. Right. I'm blown away by, we were talking about this before you got here. Like, I'm grateful. I'm not into this dark web. My algorithm is all like baseball and Martin Scorsese. I didn't like, Duncan Trussell last night was talking about some crazy shit he sees on the internet. Like children shooting each other. And then I was on your mom's house and they were like showing videos of dicks being peeled back and inserting cushions into dicks. Cushions? Or what? I don't know, something where they put, do you know what it is? They had some guy had a big pad under his hand. I don't even know what it is. Like, do you know what I'm talking about, James? Like they were putting. A pad under his hand? Yeah. I don't know the terminology. Like people put like horns on their dick. It's some kind of like product that makes bumps in you. Yeah. Body, it's what is body modification. Yeah. One guy had like, it looked like a spider on his palm or whatever the fuck this is. The top of your hand. Yeah. They do. They give themselves horns and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Bumps all over their head. I don't know what made me think of that. Oh, just that those videos exist. I wasn't getting those. I feel so naive. I'm like, did you see this Tommy Lasorda saying motherfucker video? And other people are looking at dicks being altered. Yeah. If you can get in the wrong algorithm on Instagram, it can be quite disturbing. And I'm definitely in the wrong algorithm. We gotta get you back. You gotta watch. I don't think I can get back. I think they have me now because if they send it my way, I'm gonna look at it. Cause it's all, there's so many murder videos. Well, I feel like I just was saying this recently. It took me a long time to really get got by the algorithm. Like I was kind of like, I don't know what that is, but they finally figured me out. And it's like behind the scenes baseball sports shit, people talking shit in the locker room. That's what I like. That and like, and filmmakers breaking down, Kubrick or whatever. You know John Boy, you know that guy on YouTube? No, I don't. Oh, he's awesome. Yeah. It's a great hole to go down. We were talking about it before. Lip reads all these baseball fights and argument. You know when the umpire manager fighting each other, he's like a professional lip reader and he's hilarious. And there's a million video. You gotta see it. JOM Boy, you'll love it. Get in that algorithm cause he's awesome. But it's fucking hilarious. Like my childhood prayers have been answered. You always watch the manager umpire scream and you're like, what the fuck are they saying? Right. And they probably swear horrible shit at each other. Oh, it's all cocksucker and motherfuckers. It's cocksucker and cocksucking this. And horse shit is the other big one. A lot of horse shit and cocksucker. And I've been trying to get those in my life more. Bring them back. Cocksucker's fun. Cocksucker's fun. Joey Diaz always uses the term of affection. What's up, cocksucker? Yeah, what's up, cocksucker? And when he said it, it was fun. Well, you are bringing joy if you're sucking cock. You are, but he's not saying it in that way. There's other ways, words have different meanings. You catch someone stealing your tire. What's up, cocksucker? Right. It's a different one. Sure. But Joey Diaz calls you up. What's up, cocksucker? You're like, what's up, Joey? Yeah, it's very sweet. It's all context. Yeah, it's also the word. The word can be a term of affection. I'm not really a call a guy stealing my tire, a cocksucker kind of guy. I'm a big 911. I'm like 911 this guy. You just get your tire stolen. Yeah. You don't have to wait for hours. Well, I'd call the police and see what happens. I mean, depends on what kind of guy it is. Right. I might be able to fuck him up. What if it's Duncan? Trussell? What does he have, a tire iron? That's a good point. Because that's a weapon. That's a good point. Yeah. Well, where is the tire iron positioned? Because the tire iron is positioned on the actual lug nut itself. You're at an advantage. Right, I could probably take his back, as they say. Yeah, you're gonna smash him before he gets to that thing. Now, let me ask you this. If you see a guy, he's crouched down, he's fucking with your car. And you're behind him. Are you going blunt force to the head, or are you gonna take his back and choke him out? Depends on how big the guy is. Depends on the situation. You hit someone with shoes on, it's really tricky legally. Hit someone with shoes on? Yeah. What do you mean, them or you? You hit them with your shoes, it's kind of a weapon. Really? Yeah, I think they look at it differently. I think even if you had these things on, like hokers, like run sneakers, I think it's still a weapon, which is ridiculous, it's actually way softer than if I hit you on my bones. So you're gonna take your shoes off to kick a guy? No, no, but I'm saying like, whether I would hit him while they're doing that, I'd probably say something first and see how they react, but be ready to hit him. Because it feels like though, if you fucking punch a guy or kick a guy as hard as you can, he might have a strong jaw and he, gah! But I feel like choking a person. Yeah, choking works most of the time, unless the guy knows how to fight. What if he has really good defense and you realize that immediately and you forgot to put the second hook in because you were trying to stand up. Right. Then all of a sudden he's sponging towards you and you're like, oh my God, he's trained and he gets an underhook and then he trips you, now he's on top and you're in fucking half guard on the concrete and he's head butting you. And he's got a tire iron. That was an old joke I tried doing about my level of fighting is if the person's cooperating, I can beat them. Here it is, any jaw object made or adapted for the purposes of inflicting death or serious physical injury can be considered a deadly weapon. For example, a shoe or a shod foot used for kicking may be considered a dangerous weapon. That's dangerous or deadly though, right? Because someone can, we saw, what was that movie? Where, fucking, what was the curb stomp movie? Oh, American History X. American History X, right? Yeah. That was like two weapons. That was a curb was a weapon too. And then there was the boot. That was unsettling. What is a shod foot, for those of us unfamiliar? I had to check. It is a shoe or a foot with a shoe on it. So what about flip flops? What if you kick someone you're wearing flip flops? That a shod foot? I don't know. It's kind of at a disadvantage with flip flops on it. We're going to have to go to the judges on that one or a slipper. I think it might be anything on your foot because it goes back to the history of talking about people that were almost always barefoot. So that would be an unshod foot. I don't know what that even means. I feel like it should be shod fit. I feel like that was a shod foot. I feel like that was a typo somewhere and they just went with it. Shod? Shod foot. Is that a word? Shod? Yeah. It means with a shoe? It means there's a shoe on your foot. I mean, that should be shod. I mean, this is easy. This is obvious. Don't you think? It should be shod. Why is it shod? Do you know the mound to home plate is 60 feet, 6 inches? Because they did it with pencil. And the second one, it was supposed to be 60 feet even. But the zero looked like a 6. That's why it remains 60 feet, 6 inches. Really? Yeah. It was like not a typo, a fucking a righto, whatever you call it. I feel like that was shod. I feel like they just left the e off. Shod. I think it's more like a proper English thou shalt not thing. That's gay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Shod. Show your feet or shod. Yeah, I get it. I like it. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to say shod. I think it's a proper thing. Shod is middle English, meaning put shoes on or provide with a shoe. That stinks. Stupid. Shod sucks. What's weird that we have English words in England that are spelled different than the way they're spelled in America. Yeah, you see there's old O-L-D-E, town with a E. Tires with a Y. Oh, I don't know that one. And then there's color with a U. Yes. Collure. Flavor. There's a few of those. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But it's like the same language. Like why you guys fucking with the different words? Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And what are you doing on the left side of the road, bitch? Yeah. We invented the car. Get the fuck over on the other side. I heard it was from jousting. Is that something? Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does, supposedly. Have you ever driven out there? I have not. I've done it a few times. It's a thrill. I would imagine it would be a little bit nerve-wracking to be on the wrong side of the road. It is. I got great advice is that the driver's always in the middle of the road. That's really helpful. It's like you're closer to the middle than the other end, which is the same here and there. You know what I mean? No. Like you're on the right side of the car, but the left side of the road in England. So if you look out the window, the middle of the road is right there. The line is next to you. The reverse here in America, you're on the left side of the car with the right side of the road. I see what you're saying. Yeah. I see what you're saying. So that's helpful. But I've only ever done it with one other, like my wife, in the car. Because you need a second person to be like, don't forget. Driving alone, I feel like I could fuck it up. Yeah, you could fall back into the pattern and then also see yourself in the oncoming headlights. Yeah. I think that's what happened to Matthew Broderick. Yeah. I don't know what happened. It's also like just the shifting and everything if you're operating a manual. Shifting now with your left hand instead of your right, that would be bizarre. No, I couldn't do that. I have a friend who's like a big driver. He said that was the one thing he couldn't do because it was just too many things. Yeah, because is the clutch still on the left hand side? It is. So it's clutch, brake, accelerator, all in the same order. But now you're doing this. And then which side do you do it? Do you start far left or you just start far right and move that way? You don't do that, do you? That's what's weird, right? Yeah. If you're operating a manual transmission and you're in the English side, where's first gear? Is first gear up and to the left? That is a great question. No, it's probably closer to you, up and to the right. Yeah, like that? Yeah. Can I see that? I think it's the same. I'm looking. Yeah, that's fucked up. Yeah, I would imagine the thing that they would have to do, that would be a really hard to do, I think, for transmissions. One of the hardest part for me was I kept putting the windshield wipers on with the blinker, because you're used to the blinker being over here. So every single fucking time I would turn the windshield wipers on. Yeah. I love a good windshield wiper stock. That's one thing that bums me out about my Tesla. What's a stock? A little stock, a little thing that does the windshield wipers and a little thing, you know, little thing that sticks out of the steering wheel. A little thing that does the wiper. Oh, oh, oh, I'm thinking of the windshield wiper itself. The little. It does the blinkers. You don't have that? No, everything's. Everything's this. Yeah, buttons stick. There's buttons on the steering wheel that change lanes. There's buttons for a horn. No, it's fun to have the physical. Yeah, I'm going left. Yeah. I'm going right. I'm going, you know, like, come on. Sometimes I reach through and grab it over here. You can, you got options. I like going like this. I like getting that. It feels like you're doing like an alt comic. It's normal. Yeah. But isn't it a normal feeling to like hit the blinkers and turn right? Of course it's satisfying. You do it. You do that thing before you turn. You don't press a button on your steering wheel. It feels odd. It feels every time like, don't fuck this up. I've had this car for two years and every time I press, oh, sometimes I'll press the left button when I meant to press the right button. Like fuck. I would love if you did exactly this on stage and the crowd's like, what? What the fuck is wrong with you? Just a total crickets. Like a really bad Seinfeld bit. Like a copy of a Seinfeld bit. Great set last night, by the way. I went up to the balcony and watched it. Very funny. I know you know that, but it was great. Thank you. It was a fun night. Yeah, it was awesome. It's so fun to run back and forth to the two rooms and they're such different kinds of rooms. Oh yeah, that little room is magic. And you've become like a comedy, like pilgrimage. I ran into like, first of all, I felt like a fucking celebrity out in Austin from those shows. I bumped into two guys from Calgary that came just to see the room. Then I sat next to another guy at a restaurant that was from Montreal who came just to see the room. And then I met another guy who was from England just fucking walking around. I was fucking around with the crowd last night. There's people from Australia. They're people from all over the place. Yeah, it's a destination. Wow. Yeah. Comedy, pilgrimages, people, they just want to see the room. It's fun. I hope more people do things like this other places. Did you ever go on any, like, when you, before you started, like, I gotta go see, or when you started, I gotta go see fucking whoever. Do you go on a road trip to go see a comic, like, make a comedy, you know, fan trip? Yeah, a couple of times. I mean, in the early days, I wanted to see a bunch of comics, but Kennison, I went to see Kennison a couple of times. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, 80, nine, 80, 89. And the problem was, it was like, Kennison had already sort of deteriorated. So it was kind of a bummer. It's like we were talking about it. We can't go that hard and keep being productive, it feels like. Yeah, it was pretty evident that it was not the same kind of insight that you had from his earlier work. His earlier work wasn't just wild. It was wild and like, that's a really good point. Yeah, yeah. It was wild and like, wow, this is like great writing. This is like interesting subject matter. And you got this wild dude. And then the stuff about marriage was so funny. Obviously, the guy had been in fucking terrible agony and heartbreak. It was so obvious that people had broken his heart. Right. And you bought into it hook, line and sinker. But from that special, so he has his first thing, which is Louder Than Hell, which is a cassette. And it's really fucking good. It's hard to get. I got an album of it. Okay. I think you can get it some places, but I think, I don't know, there was some controversy with it. There's a lot of like very homophobic stuff in there. But then it goes from that to the HBO special. And I think that, have you seen me lately, it's called. And the HBO special is fucking amazing. I mean, it's amazing. It's just so good. There's so many good bits of it. And then the one after that's not. It's just flat. It just feels fake. It feels like he's a guy trying to imitate Sam Kinesen. Yeah, I feel like that. I mean, I would never name names. But I feel like that happens sometimes with comics, where they have great material and a very unique way of doing it. And then they kind of start to lose the material and just have that unique way. And the marriage of the two is what made it great. Well, I think it's hard to write when you're partying all the time. Absolutely. And you're going to events, and you're the guy in the Bon Jovi video, and you're this and you're that. And you're, you know, I mean, his whole life, he was this weirdo and this preacher, and then he gets in the comedy and becomes one of the greatest of all time. And then all of a sudden, he's a fucking superstar in the rock and roll days of poison and guns and roses. And whoa, and he's the rock and roll comic. Right. So he's singing on stage now. He brings a guitar on stage. Do you ever see some of that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that song Wild Thing. Yeah, vaguely. Never was a huge kinesin guy. I wasn't big into the screaming. I mean, I always find that comedy doesn't hold up great. Most comedy, which is what makes comedy great to me. So I think by the time I saw it, I was like a kid and just like didn't quite understand it. And then later I was like, I don't know. I mean, I respect kinesin, obviously. It just wasn't one of my guys. For me, it was like catching it in the actual context of the time of 1980, whatever it was when he popped. I want to say it was 86. Was it 86? I was just first album. Yeah. So that's like right around the time when I had heard about. See, he's partying with all these rock stars. He made music videos. But it just became a different thing, man. You know, with the, it was all the look and the, it was all like the, you know, being seen at the right places with the right people and, oh, Sam's here, Sam's here. Right. And Sam's on the line. Wow. But before that, when he was coming up, it was developing material. Like it's coming up with like really good, unique bits that would make you this superstar. And then once we got a superstar, it was like poison for that. Right. That's what's so hard about getting so big is that people are like, yeah, the guy. And see, it's so hard to balance, I imagine. I'm not in that position, but I mean, you're pulling it off. It's, I mean, you just can't, you can't buy into the bullshit. Right. That's, you can't be fucking partying with Bon Jovi and rock and roll every night. It's like, you're not gonna get anything done. Yeah, you need an amount of humility. It also feels like that feels so removed from what makes standup great is a guy standing there telling jokes. It's like now you have a guitar and a gang and women and drums and you're like, well, that's not really. Like look at Chappelle, he's doing it the right way. That guy just gets on a plane and shows up in a studio in a city somewhere and starts doing guest spots. Just starts going up, goes up at the end of shows, practices, fucks around. Right. And then next night, I will fly to this place or that place. Yeah. Just goes places and fucks around, writing, always working on new bits. Yeah. Always turning over material. No, you gotta do it. Now, do you still listen to sets? Do you record sets? Yeah, I record all of them. Yeah. Yeah. I owe myself a few listens though. I've been slacking off, especially the bottom of the barrel listens. Those are the ones you really gotta listen to. Yeah, that's a really fun show. I'm like, it makes me uncomfortable, which is why it's fun to do. You like, if the people don't know, I guess, audience writes down shit and you just pull them out. Yeah, you have a barrel and the audience writes down suggestions for topics and then you just reach in the barrel, pull it out and start riffing. Yeah. It's fun. It's fun. It was super fun. Yeah, that's not, I don't do a lot of that. So it was fun to get in that spot. Yeah, that was great. That room fucking rules, the smaller room. Yeah, that's an honest little room. They were fucked up last night, the early show. Super intimate. It's a super intimate room. Yeah, that was great. They were, it felt like a 1 a.m. spot last night. The late show? No, it was the early one. Oh really? They were fucked up on the early show? They were jacked up. Yeah, it was one of those ones where you say something and then they kind of break into conversation a little bit. And I'm like, are you all right? What are you guys? And they're like, oh no, we're good. I'm in the way. But they were fucking great. And it was really fun getting stuff out of them. Because a room that small, if people are kind of chatting or chuckling, you can deal with them more. It's like, when you're in a massive room and somebody's yelling or talking from the back, you can't really deal with it. Yeah, if you're in a theater and that's happening, it's a real problem. Exactly. But in a comedy club, you can just pause and go, what are we doing? Yeah, yeah, like a real dialogue with them. But you don't want to. That's the thing, it's like we've got to train people to just not talk out loud. Just like you don't do in the movie theater, don't do it at a comedy club. And don't talk to the comedians either. Don't just talk at them. Well, do you think, I mean, what do you think about all these crowd work clips? Don't you think we're breeding this? 100%. I feel like it's a very bad situation. It's not a bad situation. Because it's just how they do it. Some people do it that way. But it makes the audience want more of that. I was talking to my niece who's just went to college and she has a roommate who's like 18 years old. She's like essentially a high school kid. And she was like, what do you think of crowd work? And I'm like, it's so crazy that teenage kids are like, oh, crowd work. Well, because those are the clips you could put online because it doesn't burn your material. Right. Because it's a unique moment. Right. But sometimes I feel like this comic's going up there, just trying to get those moments. They definitely are. And then the audience thinks like, oh, I'll be part of this. Well, there's comics that are tricky too. You go see their actual act. And the thing about crowd work is it's always funnier when you're there. Of course. But it's always funnier because everyone knows it's happening live and you don't know what's going to happen and neither does comedian. They know it's completely improvised. Well, that's why it works. Because obviously comedy is about getting everybody to be like, oh, yeah. And if they're seeing it live, it just happens. Good point. But T'Polo used to always say that, you know, work with Nick for years. And he'd be like, oh, you're funny off the cuff? Yeah, that's called a fucking being funny. That's easy. Write some material, you fuck. Yeah, if you can do both, that's great. Right. But some people only do one or the other. Right. But there gets to be, yeah, there's tricks to it. You definitely don't want to encourage people to interrupt people who don't do crowd work though. And that's where it becomes a problem. People are drunk and they think, I'm going to get on a video. Right. That kind of shit does happen. Now, how do you feel about MCs in New York, which is the only city that does this, where the MC goes up and just asks everybody where they're from and does almost exclusively crowd work. They never did that in Boston when I was starting. And they didn't do it here in Austin, really. Why do they do that in New York? I don't know. It's a New York thing. Like, New York Comics, they think that's what the MC does. I think part of it is to find out where everyone's from because there's so many tourists. But most MCs in New York just do a lot of crowd work. And I've heard people even be like, I don't like hosting because I don't do crowd work. And I'm like, well, you don't have to. Just fucking go up. Does anybody not do crowd work? Does anybody just go up and say, hey, what's up, everybody? How you doing? Let me tell you about my day. I don't think so. Really? When I hosted this years ago, when Artie Fuqua got in the accident, they needed host at the seller. So I volunteered. And I hosted for like six weeks. And I felt like I was the only one that just went straight into material, which I think is better because I find the audience, if they're, you know, when they're settling in and ordering and getting their drinks and whatever, figuring out who's sitting where, if you look up and the comic is talking to somebody, they're going, OK, it hasn't really started yet. He's talking to that lady. But if you look up in the middle of a bit, you're like, fucking quiet. The show started. That's how I always felt. Yeah. The problem with someone talking to the audience is it does kind of encourage the audience to talk to some of the future comedians if they have a point that the person disagrees with, or if they're getting to a point and you cut them off because you can say something. You know, sometimes guys will mislead you with a bit. Of course. What is he saying? Oh, ha ha ha. But some people jump in in the middle of it. Right. And fuck it up. Exactly. And they think they can because someone's been talking to them in the audience. Exactly. Yes. And they're like, oh, this is a dialogue. I got it. Perfect. Or it gives them an opportunity to be outraged. And now this is kind of encouraged to give feedback. It's encouraged to talk. Right. I also think that the audience needs to hear the rhythm of a few jokes. But to me, it's like if you do crowd work for five minutes and then do 10 minutes of jokes. But sometimes you have an MC where you're like, if you're going first, you're like, I'm now the first one telling a joke, which is no good. I think the audience needs to hear like, oh, OK, some bits. Yeah. I think that definitely would set everybody else up for the rest of the night. And that's really what the MC should be doing. But I remember Atel would get annoyed because Atel always wants to know where everyone's from. So he would ask me, like, where are they from? And I was like, I don't know. And you could see that he was like, what? And there's nothing worse than upsetting Atel. That's so New York. That's so weird. It's so weird. I know. The New York has this one thing where everybody goes and asks the fucking audience member where they're from. It's very strange. And they're like, what do you do? I've ever seen a comic one time. It made me laugh so hard. The audience member made me laugh so hard because the person was like, what are you doing? And they're like, I'm at a show. What do you mean? What am I doing? They're like, I'm on a date. I don't get it. I just never, to me, it's like we're supposed to be doing a show. I don't care what the audience is from or what they're doing. I always felt like that style came out of the fact that the comedy clubs in New York, when I was coming up, they were all very intimate. They were very small. Like Boston Comedy was very small. Catch a Rising Star was small. The Cellar's small. And because you're like right on top of people and they're packed in and there's not that many of them, I felt like it's more intimate. The stage is smaller. And I think it sort of led comedians to want to kind of personalize everything. Yeah, which I feel in the small room at your club. What's it called? Little Boy. Little Boy. I do instinctively start being like, you ever had this? Because it does feel like you're at a hang. Yeah, you're hanging. Which is really nice if you're doing material. Because you're real intimate in that room. You're on top of those people. Yeah, I feel like you could shoot a special in there. Or maybe someone already had. I think somebody shot one in the big room. David Lucas just shot a special in that little room. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fucking killer run. Brian, did he shoot something at your room? He shot something in the big room. Brian Simpson blew me away last night. Oh, he's hilarious. By the way, I always knew he was funny. It's so rare you get to sit and watch comedy. Yeah. And I sat in the balcony watching. I was like, this guy's next level. The balcony's the shit, isn't it? Unbelievable. It's awesome. When we first were walking around the building when it was its bare bones, and we're standing up there in the balcony, one of the first things we're thinking, you know how bad ass it's going to be to be just sitting up here chilling and watching Chappelle go on stage. And so when it actually happened, when we were there, the week it opened, and Dave came by, and we're watching him. I'm standing on the balcony. I'm like, dude, I looked at Tony Hinchcliffe. This is exactly what we imagined. It was the exact thing that we imagined. That's an unbelievable feeling. I don't want to sound gay, but we're very lucky people that we've lived a life where you're just like, I imagined this and then did it. It had to happen. It's pretty great. Oh, yeah, super, super lucky. But also, that's a good thing. When I was thinking about doing it, I didn't want to do it. I'm like, this is too much work. I don't want to be involved in this. I always told comedians, be really nice to club owners, because we need them, and you don't want to be them. We need them. We need someone to own the club. We need a place to go. Who would want to deal with some of the maniacs that we knew? This is it. Oh, wow. That's the little boy. No, that's the big room. That's the balcony. Wow, that's killer. So that's before the concrete had been poured. Those guys are standing on foam. So there's a foundation under that. And then they put these massive blocks of dense foam. And then on top of the foam, then they lay more of that rebar and then poor concrete. It's crazy what they did, because it was basically set up like a movie theater, like tiered stadium-type seating. And we lifted the floor up, and it made it flat. So how did it work? I feel like I'm interviewing you now. Did you just explain the vision to whatever you call it? Amazing architect. Richard's an amazing architect. And one of the things about Richard is he's also a musician. He's an artist. He has an eye for things. He sees things. And he totally got the concept of it. And so when we looked at another building, I told you about the place that was owned by a cult. So we had that place, and then that one fell apart. And then when that fell apart, it was really hard to find another spot. And this place wasn't for sale. They only wanted to lease it. And I was like, I'm not going to do that. I need to be able to own it. That doesn't make any sense. And so fortunately, they changed their mind. And they sold it to me. And one of the things they liked was that, 6th Street, they're making a lot of apartment buildings and high rises. And they loved the fact that I was just going to keep it a live entertainment venue. And because it's an all 1927 theater, Stevie Ray Vaughan played there in the 80s. Yeah, I saw all the posters. The killer fucking bands. Now, were you drawing sketches? Or were you just saying this is what I'd like it to look like? I didn't draw any of it. Richard did everything. But Richard Wise, we went over it. We had a structure, because there was a Alamo draft house had been there before. And we also had a big advantage in that Richard had redesigned the Alamo draft house. So he was the one who was in charge of that project. So he knew the whole bones of the building. Because they converted it from, I think it was a rock and roll club, previous to that. And then they turned it into the Alamo draft house. And so they had to build a kitchen. They had to build these rooms. They had to set it up from the movies and do everything. So he knew exactly where everything was. And so we had two rooms in one building, which I really like. Because I wanted a smaller, more intimate room and a bigger room. And so when we saw it, we just had to address like, OK, how do we do this? And we had a bunch of different ways of looking at it. We always agreed that the projection room would be the green room. That makes the most sense. It's in the center of the two rooms. And it gives you the option of just literally walking there and seeing one room or going this way to the balcony and seeing the other room. So that was a no-brainer. And then we blew the walls out. So it connects to the balcony. And we set everything up and moved all the equipment out. We had old projectors in there and shit. And then we built everything out. And then in the process of building everything out, I had Louis come and look at it. And Louis had some amazing advice. He gave me some great advice about shrinking the size of the stage in the little room, lowering the ceiling even further. And the little room was like a low ceiling. He's like, can you get it lower? I'm like, yeah, I think we can get it lower. Maybe like a foot or two lower. So we did that. And then in the main room, the same thing. He said, lower the ceiling. And so the ceiling drops. So you have the balcony. You can see how the ceiling drops when you look out the balcony. So you just see the top of the stage. Right. I decided it would be a great idea, I mean, it would cost billions of dollars, to have a comedy club that you could move the walls in depending on the crowd size. You know how there's like a curtain? But you wish you could just fucking physically move the wall to tighten it up. Because obviously comedy just works tighter. Yeah. I mean, that's not, it's an impossibility. This is my fantasy. I mean, maybe it's not an impossibility. I don't think it's an impossibility. You'd just have to have walls that were on tracks. And you'd have the tracks built into some sort of an engine that moved them back and forth. But it'd probably be stupid. It would take up way too much room. You know, how are the power of a diesel generated or the electric? Not manpower. Everyone gets behind the audience. Oh Jesus. Pushes the wall in. Yeah, it would have to be that. Because if it was some sort of a computer, it would malfunction and kill everyone. It would just compress the entire audience. Like fucking Star Wars. Yeah, exactly. Like Star Wars. Imagine if you have a sold out show and someone hits the 100 seat button. People just stacked up on top of each other in the middle of the fucking room. That's a great episode for like one of those, what do you call it? What's that fucking show? Black Mirror. Black Mirror. Or I was thinking of Twilight Zone. But yeah, same, same, same shit. That's what I was wondering though, if you could just, you just explained to the architect what it looks like. Because this blew my mind a while ago. I was watching like some Springsteen behind the album thing. I don't know if it was the River or Darkness or whatever. But I never knew, there's a scene where Bruce is talking to Clarence Clemens and it's just like, it should sound like this. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's just mouthing the sound of the saxophone. In my mind, it's like Bruce is writing musical notes or something. You don't picture a guy just being like, it should sound like this. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the guy does it. It kind of was like, wow. It blew me away, but there's a lot of musicians who don't read music. No, I think like most, and it's funny, I took mandolin, not most, but many rock musicians. I took mandolin lessons years ago and it was fun. And I thought I wouldn't be able to read music because I'd always hear like Eddie Vedder can't read music and Bruce Spring. And it turns out it's not that hard. They just didn't feel like learning it. Like in my mind, I was like, these geniuses can't do it. And then the lady was like, no, they just didn't want to learn how to read music. It looks like a weird alien language when you see all the musical notes and everything. Like to me, they register as nothing. Of course. I've seen people with musical notes tattooed, you know, like they have like a strip of like music line and like the musical notes around it. I don't know, dude, could be Nazi stuff. Of course. I don't know what it is. It's crazy. And I've seen, I have friends that are like world-class musicians and it's crazy to watch them just read a thing and play it. It's like a magic trick. I hate to do this, but I just got an IV before this. I have to piss already. Oh, piss. What do I do? Do I just? You could be two or just hang out. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. No, I just feel like I'll be all fucking jacked up. Jacked fucking up. You drank caffeine though, right? Yeah, I'm a green tea guy. Are you a coffee guy ever or just a green tea guy? No, I've never been a coffee guy. I've had one cup of coffee in my life and it was in Peru. I was on vacation in Peru and we're in like this coffee field and this guy was like, people fly from all over the world to have this coffee. And I was like, well, I gotta have it. I'm in Peru. And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever tasted. I'm just not a coffee guy. But as I get older, it smells very good. So maybe I would like it, but I like green tea and you know. Green tea is nice. Very nice. Coffee is one of those weird things that people call an acquired taste. And I don't know why anybody would ever want to acquire a taste. But if my beer was like that, didn't you first had beer, were you like, nice? I was like, this is fucking shit. I'm sure I didn't. I was a kid. I was probably like, this is fucking gross. That's how I felt. I spit it out. You're only drinking it to get fucked up. Yeah, but then didn't you acquire a taste for it? Like an IPA, you're like, ooh, this is delightful. I don't like IPAs as much. I like a cold ale. Like a cold ale on a hot day, you know, like fish and chips. Of course. Beer has to be, beer and soda to me because I just needed some ice cold beer I would drink. Clearly, nobody drinks soda tea, right, at tea temperatures? Right, but I mean, you can get a warm soda and you're like furious, I mean. I wonder what it would taste like if you microwaved your soda. Like if you had a Coca-Cola and you nuked it up to, put it in a teapot. Does it boil? I'm sure it boil, it's liquid. If you just poured it in a teapot, it's mostly water, and heated it to, so the thing was going off, and then you poured it in your cups and just drank hot Coca-Cola. I don't know, I mean, I assume it would lose its fizz, right? Of course it would, but imagine if we just invented something awesome and nobody thought to do it ever until just now. We might have done it. Has anybody done that before? There must be YouTube videos. So I'm reading right now, a hot Dr. Pepper is a drink that straddles the line between the two. When heat is applied to a cool can of soda, it transforms into a light, refreshing, soft drink into a thick, sweet tea. Mm. Odd as a hot soda might sound, it's really not that different from a glass of hot cider. I think I did a bit, I don't remember the bit where I said I like to boil my soda, and I can't remember why I said it, but I had a bit like that. Fuck, I don't remember why I said that. That's a weird thing to say. Yeah, I don't remember the bit. Were you just being outrageous about other things? Like, was it a contrary thing? No, I forget, maybe it was about, ah. Like I like cold steak and boiled soda? I can't even remember, goddamn. You ever have those, you're like, I know I've said this sentence before, and I don't know why. Oh, it's the worst, it's the worst. Yeah, I can't remember, I like to boil my soda. It was something about, ah, I don't fucking know. I hear you. I can't remember, but. It'll come back to you. That's one of those memories that you have to like, stop pushing the memory guy to find it. He's like, I can't find it, I can't find it. You're like, okay, I'm gonna leave you alone. I'm gonna leave you alone. I'm gonna move on if you find it, let me know. Like, oh, just metaphor for life. And then you go, yeah. You gotta let go or it doesn't work. Sometimes that spin, you're not getting any traction. It's like when you get stuck in snow and you're like, this is, this is, this is, this is. Like, hey, hey, hey, you're gonna blow out your transmission, settle down. Right. Let's figure this out. That was an Alan Watts. I found it. This is, you're talking about a. You found that? Yeah. Sometimes I boil a Pepsi right before bed. Yeah. I can't remember. I still don't remember. I don't know. I can't believe you found that. That's crazy. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I don't. It is weird how like, there's some drinks that like traditionally are just warm or cold. So, but coffee, you can be both. It can be both. Same with water. You can have an ice water. You can have a, well, you never had, I mean hot water, I guess you drink. Yeah, nobody drinks hot water unless it's got flavor in it. I drank hot water last night at the club. By the way, I had a big moment at the club. I have a contribution to the club. You do. Because you have a tea kettle and there was no tea bags. And then I was sarcastically shitting on the club to Curtis and then he ratted me out to you. But I just drank a hot water because it is calming, even if there's nothing in it to drink warm water. And then somehow, it's a mystery. He left for like 10 minutes and came back with high end tea, like seal. There must be like a store nearby or something. I guess at 10 30 at night on Sixth Street? I don't know. Sixth Street's pretty wild. It was a magic trick. It was an unusual place, man. Have you been there on the weekends? Oh yeah. I close the street down and everybody just walks back and forth. It's the worst place on earth to me. I mean, the club is great, but I'm not joking. We were talking about before. I jog back to the hotel. It's like a block and a half. It's sketchy. Yeah. But that's part of what I like about it. It's, yeah. It also gives us an opportunity to hire a lot of cops. I love it. Yeah. We got a lot of cops at work there. I love it. You walk 30 feet away and you can see them like, good luck. One guy was like, there's a lot of crack heads around. I'm like, I know about the crack heads. Why don't you just get a car? Because I'm staying like 150 yards away. You can't get a lift. You need it. You need a lift. I mean, I made it. I made it home. Well, tonight we'll drive. Oh, we're not coming tonight. No, I'm off to Vegas. Next time I'll drive you. All right, I appreciate that. We'll take you on the way. Well, last time I was here, you drove me because I got accosted by the two, no, it wasn't last time. It was like three years ago. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I had two guys. That's right, guys, we're fucking with you. Yeah, it was bad. But I also- You were homeless folks? They were homeless guys, you know. And I also just, somebody sent me a article that said like the Austin police were like, hey, if you get robbed on Sixth Street, don't call 911. We can't, it's too much. Call 311. Literally, they're like, call 311 and report it. Like a guy just writes it down in the blog. It's, I don't know. We need the National Guard down here. They refunded the police out here though. They defunded the police for a little bit and then they upped the budget recently. They changed it back. This is not working. And all the wealthy people that live around here were freaking out, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I told this story on stage the other night, but I was here from Moon Tower and it's just, I'm joking a little bit, it's not, you can come and walk around Sixth Street, but it's wild. And I said to some woman, she was like a volunteer, I was like, it's fucking crazy out there. And she went, oh, where are you from? And I was like, New York City, I'm not like some fucking hayseed. I live in New York. Like this is unusual out here. There's like people with machetes and tire irons walking around. That one street, yeah. Well, like Brazos and Sixth, that corner. But the crazy thing is that that's the area that we got. But when we were there, it just felt like it was supposed to be there. Like I was trying to convince myself of the cult house. When the cult house, when I was walking around, I was like, yeah, we could do this and we could do that. And we could have a separate parking lot for the comics. That's cool. We got a lot of, because we had like eight acres. I'm like, look at this view, we'll have out the back. We could hang out here and party. Look at this green room, we'll block these walls. Turn this immense green room. I had all these great plans. It would have worked. It definitely would have worked. Of course. But that place had a lot of, there's a lot of issues to be resolved, including stuff that was like, it could be a real problem for me. And so I was like, all right, this isn't gonna work. Let me find another spot. And then it was like, I looked at four or five different locations and they were pretty good. And I was trying to talk myself into them. And then I got to that place. I was like, oh shit. I was like, this is it. This is it. I'm like, we gotta make this happen. No, it's where it should be and it's magical. It's now like a cornerstone of the neighborhood, it feels like. It just felt like it was supposed to happen. Like while you're in there. And even like people ask me if it was stressful. It wasn't really stressful. Everybody that was working on the project, other than me, it was amazing. And so they all did a great job. So I didn't stress about that. And I just like, it's out of my hands. Let's just do everything that you're supposed to do. Like whatever, like it would be best if we did this. Whatever it is, do that then. This is gonna take more time. It's gonna cost more money, but let's do it. Let's do that. We need a UFO in the front lobby. A fucking actual foreign sauce. And I want it to be a projection that shoots a projection on the screen of who's coming next. So we have like these posters of what comedians are coming up. And you did it. Yeah, it's just, it took a long time. But I really feel like it wanted to be made. I feel like it literally wanted me to create it. You wanna hear my suggestion for the club? Yes. You really? Yeah, sure. But right behind the big stage, there's some space back there where you're waiting. A toilet. So you can take a shit right before you go on. Cause the only toilet is right outside. I was in there, I had this shit. I was like, I'm holding it. There's a line. Tony Hinchcliffe's knocking on the door. That's a big ask because you gotta get plumbing back down through there. Just a suggestion, not an ask. Cause I don't think there's enough room either. That's a small space. Cause you're gonna, maybe I'm wrong. Cause like Monday night there was 25 people in the green room and one toilet. I was like, this is no good. But that's Monday night. Monday night is like, they have way too many people up in there. It's just too goofy. But on a normal night, that's not the case. But yeah, that's not, but then there's a downstairs toilets too. Okay. You know, there's the public toilets. Come on, Joe. I'm not going to a public toilet. They're all clean. Do you know who I am? I do know who you are. You're Joe List. I've been on the Joe Rogan experience. You're from New York City. You're in that Louis CK movie. I don't shit in the book. It's a Joe List movie. Just kidding. He's going to hear that. He's going to be mad. I'm only joking. I think maybe that is a good idea. Somewhere. I heard rumblings. Think where it could be. There was also, there was a young lady that was nervous to shit with, you know, you waiting. Cause everyone's worst nightmare is they're in the bathroom brushing their teeth and Joe Rogan can't use the bathroom. Okay. You know? Yeah. We should have had a better setup with that. Yeah. Maybe we can do that. Maybe we can have a bathroom right next to the stage. Hey, I'm just throwing out suggestions. We should leave a heroin spoon in there too. What do you think? Absolutely. Just symbolic for Stevie. Let it happen. Yeah. He was a big heroin guy, but he cleaned up. He cleaned up. I believe he did, right? Yeah. He cleaned up. I think his like, you can find his like AA speaks on our speaks speeches, qualify, whatever you call it on YouTube. Heroin and music boy. How many fucking amazing musicians were heroin users? Isn't it unbelievable? I tried to do this as a joke. It never worked, but I'm like Keith Richards is playing fuck. He's like soloing on heroin. Like I take a Tylenol PM and I can't read anymore. I'm like, I gotta lay down. I mean, it's unbelievable that these guys can shoot heroin and play guitars. Did he shoot it? Did Keith shoot it or did he snorn it? Like how did he do his heroin? I don't know. I don't know either. But whoever, I mean, name whoever else. I mean, I'm sure, you know, Cobain, all those guys. I mean, so many guys. It's just, but I never did heroin. I don't know what it's like to be on heroin, but in my mind, I didn't do a lot of big drugs. I bumped into a friend of mine at Skankfest and he was like, I'm on acid right now. And in my mind, acid, you're not like, oh, hey, it's Joe List. How you doing? I'm like, there's a fucking lizard walking at me. But I guess it's not really like that. Well, it depends on the dose. Right. You know, you can get to like some serious reality dissolving doses. Sure. I think of acid as like, you go in the woods or you look at the Jefferson airplane video or whatever and not you're walking around a festival communicating with people. Yeah, you queue up Pink Floyd and the Wizard of Oz. Yes. Which is fun to do, by the way. It's crazy that it works. Roger Waters said it's total coincidence. Yeah, I mean, it seems coincidental, but it's fucking cool. It's insane how good it is. Like when you sync it up perfectly, it really does seem like it's a soundtrack to the movie. It's a lot of fun. Great album, great film. But how does something like that happen where the syncreticity is so perfect? I don't know. Why do you have a theory? I don't know. Or do you think it's just worked out that way? I think there's more to the world than physical things. I really do. I just think we're skeptical of that because we can't measure it. I think there's more to the world. There's more connections in the world than we would like to imagine because I think they'd be overwhelming. But I think there's connections with your very mind. I think your mind and the world interact with each other in a way that changes the world and changes your mind. I think sometimes there's evidence of that in just these weird, unique ways. Like two ideas converge together and even though it's completely coincidental that Pink Floyd and the Wizard of Oz, was it Dark Side of the Moon, right? Yeah. That they sync up absolutely perfectly. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's the universe saying, look, look at this little cute little Easter egg. Look at this cute little tidbit. We're showing you that this is not a logical universe. Like there's some weird stuff to it. Super weird stuff. But some of it also feels like a confirmation bias. Like you're told these go together, so you're watching. And they do feel like they go together. But some of it you're like, oh, the lion and that sound. But you're kind of just- Listen, let's play it. We played Dark Side. Show a Dark Side of the Moon connected with Wizard of Oz. When you actually see, like I used to think that too. Like all these hippies are trying to find fucking connections and anything. Fucking potheads, you know? Trying to be skeptical. And then I watched, I was like, oh. Oh my God, this is crazy. I mean, I haven't done it since high school, but it was fun. And it's also interesting who the first person to do it was. I'm sure that information is somewhere. I mean- But when you actually see it, the connection is insane. It's so good. It really does seem like that's what happened. Like they made it for it. Wizard of Oz rules, great film. When's the last time you watched it? Long time ago. One of the funniest scenes ever is when the cowardly lion runs and jumps out of a fucking window. It's like one of the great comedic scenes. He gets scared of the wizard and he fucking runs and dives out the window. It's very funny. Funny guy. And the special effects were dog shit. Yeah. Boy, 1930, whatever it was. 39. I found a chunk. This is like just a part of it. That's all we do. Here. Oh, I thought it started later. No, this isn't where it's just where it cuts in. This is the part where it switches the time. And this is perfect too, because it's such a great song. I love that this is the TBS version. Look at the way the sound ends. The timing of it. Right when she arrives at the gate, the loud bells stop. Right. And she's talking, and it's about to begin. She walks out and the music hits. Dude, it's wild. Now you see the conflict, right? Yeah. So this is conflict. The pause, she goes to the other guy. Another pause, she goes to the other lady. I mean, it's time perfect. Man, this song rules. This song fucking rules. Now watch this. As the buildup happens, like the tension increases. In the scene, people are getting more frantic. Women wear gloves back then, bro. They're working it out. She's trying to get her to put the dog in the basket. Fuck you, bitch. It puts the dog in the basket or it gets the hose again. Now watch. It's crazy how well the timing is. They're taking a little dog away, man. You can't. You fucking fat cunt. That's the witch bro. Now watch this here. Take it away. Take it away. Take it away. Take it away. Take it away. Take it away. Take it away. Take it away. watch this here. The moment to take up a dog day. The hours that love had way. You can go around on the underground in your hometown. Go, Toto. Waiting for someone or something to show you the way. That's nice. In the sunshine. It's time to watch the rain. You are young and blind. There's no, there's no time to yell. Listen, you can obviously say that it's coincidental in some parts, but goddamn. And that's just one piece. There's like through the whole movie, there's scenes like that. It's just like sinks up and sinks up and sinks up. It's fun. It's fun. And back before the internet, it was perfect because you could just say, this is what it was. They did the music to the Wizard of Oz. Right. Yeah, it's fun. Wizard of Oz, don't you think it's the most referenced film ever? Like deep in our, like kids know references. They've never even seen the movie. Like you see someone on a bike, people go like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Like your little dog too. There's no place like home. There's so many references that just live in the psyche from a film that came out 100 years ago almost. Right. It's the most seen film in movie history. There you go. According to the Library of Congress. All right. I buy that. The movie's seen and heard. What's number two? Let's try to think of it. The Barbie movie. I want to try to think. Maybe it's got to be like Snow White or some Bambi, something like that. Conan. The Barbie. No. IMDB has a different list order. What's IMDB's number one of all time? Titanic would have to have been up there. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, it has to be. What about Avatar? And then as ET is number two. Oh wow. ET's big. So Titanic's number one? According to IMDB. Is that box office or just? It says watched. I typed in watched. So like I actually typed in most seen movie. I typed in the exact same thing it said. And this has most watched movies of all time. Because it's different quality of the case because Wizard of Oz has been around for 80. And they came out in 39. So you have all those people. But Wizard of Oz is great. And she was supposed to be like a 12 year old. You know they would like tying her tits down and everything. Jesus. Yeah it's crazy. She was supposed to be 12 and they were taping her tits down. And evidently the little people were like you know harassing her and grabbing her pussy. Jesus Christ. Yeah it's crazy stories. People were horrible back then. Did you ever see Shirley Temple? Like any of the old Shirley Temple stuff? Just clips. I've never sat and watched a Shirley Temple film. It's bizarre. She was massive right? Yeah she's massive but here's what's bizarre. There's scenes where I mean she's a little girl. And she's on an airplane with a bunch of men. And these men can't stop looking at her. She's sitting on their laps. Was that the good ship Lollipop that she was singing? Yeah. Wait do you see this? And she was really young you know. And this is what happened to her when she's you know I don't know how old she was. Was she like eight or nine or like? It's a good question. I think younger than that when she first started. She looks really young. So. Oh she looks like she's four. Oh yeah. The orchestra will play our theme song. She's younger than I thought she was. Watch this. I've thrown away my toys. Even my drum and trains. I want to make some noise. With real life air rule plays. Someday I'm going to fly. I'll be your pilot too. And when I do how would you like to be my crew? Oh boy look at this. Lollipop it's a sweet trip to a candy shop where buns are to play. On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay. How weird is this? It's a little odd. Fast forward to the lap dance scene. Oh my god I was joking. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. So hold on. And now they're all carrying her. Oh no. Oh Jesus. She's all coked up. That's what it's supposed to be. Like what was that they put on her nose? What was that? I don't know. They're giving her toys now. Happy landing on a chocolate bar. Oh Jesus. Oh my god. Oh my god. Happy landing on a chocolate bar. Oh Jesus. Bro how weird is that? It's a little strange. I mean it's always fascinating that her parents were like yeah yeah. Yeah carry around guys. My friend Matt Wayne he's a great comic. He's my opener. He does a bit about like you have to be I think it's like 10 days old to appear in film. And he went to he really went to a screening of A Quiet Place Part 2. And they had a special guest at the appearance and it was the fucking baby. Like they just held up a whatever three month old baby. Well maybe the baby was a year and a half at that point. It was like here it is. Here's the baby. I mean it's really fascinating to have a baby and be like take my baby. And he says Jim from the office just take my baby. It's a great bit. That is weird. But it's really odd these people that are like absolutely just have a baby. He used my baby in the movie. Yeah walk around with my baby. That's our Cheryl up there on that screen. It's fucking. And the aliens are eating the other folks? It's straight. I mean I guess somebody has to do it. You got to have babies in film because remember they did American Sniper and famously there was the fake baby. Yeah you got busted with a fake baby. It was really bad. But. People got mad. They got mad at the fake baby. It was I mean it did look ridiculous. I don't remember how bad it looked. It wasn't good. Let's find it. It's not good. Not a great film in my opinion but the baby with or without the baby doesn't look horrible there. Oh my God it did look so horrible. No one more time. Watch it from the beginning. Come on watch this. It's so fake. Look how fake that looks. Look. I mean it's just lifeless. Yeah. Yeah the arms aren't moving. Oh. Oh he's moving it with a thumb. He's moving it with a thumb. Yeah. You think we're stupid. That's hilarious. You think we're stupid. They must have been like just do a little thumb thing. Yeah. That is great. It almost looks like he's looking like does this work. He's doing puppetry. He's doing super high level puppetry in a movie. Poor guy. I mean it's like puppetry that the whole world's gonna see. Would you hand your baby to a. No. Fuck out of here. I don't think they should use kids in movies. I mean I guess you got to at some point. Right. I mean. Every kid that I've ever met barred none that was famous when they were young is fucked up. Yeah it's not good. I mean most people get fucked up most adults get fucked up from fame. Yeah. A little on a child. This is what I think it's like. I think it's like making cement. See when you make cement you need to put the right amount of water the right amount of grit. You get the right amount of all that stuff you mix it all together. But if you have like not enough water from the beginning your cement's bullshit. And it's never gonna get better you can't add water later. Right. That's what it's like when some people get famous young. They didn't develop into an actual human being. Right. They developed into a famous person. So the like this the the path that they took is so alien to everybody else on earth. Yeah. No one can relate to them other than other little famous kids and they're all fucked up too. Yeah. No and then you have money and a weird sense of ego that you're like I'm a star. You're not you're not prepped to handle that. Yeah I mean some of them are working through it. Like I had Demi Moore on the show. She's working through it. How young was she when she became famous? Very young. Oh really? Demi Moore. What did I say Demi Moore? I did. Oh I was like. I was like no kidding. Sorry Demi Moore. That's hilarious. I had no idea. What a Freudian. That's I was up late last night. Because she was young but not that. So Demi Lovato. Sorry. I don't think I know who that is. She's a singer. Yeah. Actress. I'm a boomer man. She was in the Mickey Mouse Club right? Wasn't she? Maybe Disney. I don't know about Mickey Mouse for sure. She was definitely a Disney girl. Barney. Yeah. She was in the TV show. Yeah. And Miley Cyrus. She's another one that I've talked to that had a similar experience. You know she was on Hannah Montana. She was super young and she was a fucking superstar. Not familiar. This is Demi Lovato. I want to congratulate Demi Lovato on taking back her gender. Isn't she like she's no longer non-binary. Sorry I gotta go to airplane mode. I don't I have a new phone. I don't know how to get the notifications off. I'm just vibrating over here. Really? Yeah. You go to sounds right? I thought. No. You swipe down from the top right and then you go to this right here. Do not disturb. Bam. Beautiful. Then you won't get any text messages until you swipe back and go and get it. I'll show you how to do that later. Thank you. I appreciate it. Very easy. I'm like a hundred years old. Upper right corner, swipe down. Beautiful. Not hard. I know. Well I'm you know. But anyway no you can't use my fucking baby in your stupid movie. It's fucking. They make a CGI baby. They can make dragons. Look at the Game of Thrones dragons. You can't make a fucking baby. Yeah. It feels like you could do that. Now deleted tweet American Sniper screenwriter Jason Hall wrote that director Clint Eastwood opted for the fake baby after the first child selected for the sequence became ill and a second baby failed to show up on set. So we had to go with the fake baby. Maybe the parents had a change of heart. Maybe they called their you know their mother and was like you can't fucking drop your baby off to Clint Eastwood. He's too old. Listen my feeling is they should have shot that scene differently. If you're gonna use a fake baby you you have not telling Clint Eastwood not to make a movie but you have this guy reach in and pick up the baby and then you shoot him from the chest up. Right. Except for a rare like American werewolf in London glimpsed of the baby. So you have to like go back over. Look at the whole thing. Bradley Cooper on American fake baby scene. I couldn't believe we were doing it. Because I was like this is nuts. Oh poor guy. Imagine he's like a top of the food chain actor. They're making him do puppetry with a fake baby. It just takes you totally out of the movie. Of course. I mean that sucks. That's all. That sucks. But if he shot it differently it wouldn't. If he shot it differently like the lady's got the baby she's holding on to the baby. His back enters the scene. He's he's bundling in his arms. Next thing you see it's him shot up. You don't see the baby. You see him holding this obviously he's holding the baby in his arms but you look in his face. Right. I guess I mean they I guess they wanted to show this killer with the baby. He can't show a fake baby. It's really bad. And that was not even one. I remember being in the theater being like what? It wasn't even one that you find out later. Like there's so many movie moments where you're like the stunt double has a mustache and he doesn't and then you look close and you're like oh shit which is a bunch of those which are always fun. Yeah. There was a famous one on Flashdance the woman doing the audition dance. It wasn't a woman they had a man do it but he refused to shave his mustache and there's a moment you can freeze frame I'm sure you can find it where you just see what I forget the actress his name. I'm a maniac that whole thing. Yeah. And she has a fucking it's a guy with a mustache because he wouldn't shave it and they were just like all right we'll just go with it. It's a guy that was doing that? Yeah. I mean I hope this is true I'm gonna feel like an ass if I just was told this. Oh. I remember I remember seeing it though I swear Jamie come on come through baby. This might be tough. You found my bit you found my boiling Pepsi bit. There's no way Flashdance mustache maybe. She's a maniac, maniac on the phone. And then there's the other great song from the woman that just died. What's the other great fucking song on there? It's a first when there's nothing but a dull it can't drink. Oh yeah. Oh I see what it is. Take your passion and make it happen. It's not the whole dance that was Irene Cara. Irene Cara yeah she just died I think but that song rules. Yeah. I'm gay. Fame I'm on a live forever. There was a weird time where those kind of movies were like very popular very musical dramas about people that are just talented and they're gonna make it. Of course. And they weren't scarfs and they're from the rough side of town but they get together and shine. But doesn't that song get you as somebody that pursued a dream and I listen to that song and I'm like this is me baby I took my passion right it happened. You made it happen. Fucking right man. Do you want to live forever? I don't want to live forever I mean I want to live forever but I don't I'd like to live in this state for a long time. I've been thinking about this I'm talking about this a lot lately. Living forever? I think if heaven's real. Okay. If heaven's real and I was the devil you know what I would do? I'd convince people that they should extend their life. No? I'd convince people that they can live forever. I'd convince people to transplant their soul into a machine where they would be trapped for eternity. If you could just trick them. Right. Imagine if heaven's real. Imagine if you die one day and you're like oh my god it's real. It's not like a dude in the clouds and a guy with a book. It's like what'd you do when you were in seventh grade? You lied to your mom. He's like it's not. So what is it? What is heaven then? What if it's just some other realm where you're disembodied. Disembodied from your physical being but you live in a realm of pure consciousness. Just pure consciousness interacting with other consciousness. It's just geometry. Just patterns. What if that's where you're supposed to be? That's great. But what if this place just keeps getting increasingly more dystopian and as life goes on you signed up to live forever but now life is suck. It's just suck. It's just everybody's eating insect burgers and all your time is monitored by the great overlord powers of the world economic form which controls the earth. You're cooked up to some grid and you have to be attached to it in labor for X amount of hours per day in order to be fed and housed. That sounds similar to reality. Yeah but what if it keeps getting worse? I might keep getting worse. What if that's really what hell is? What if hell is the trick that you're scared to die? So you sign up to be a part of this cyborg program and you literally lose your soul. Yeah. Your soul gets transplanted into a machine forever and it's the devil's trick. It's just you looking at TikTok all day just fucking dark web and that's hell. The problem is I would never consider that as a possibility because there's so many loons that run around telling you the devil is crafty and the devil has plans for you. And you're like sure he does. It's the devil. But what if it is the devil? And what if one of the ways the devil gets you to think that the devil's stupid? It says a bunch of stupid people believe in the devil. Now is he a devil? Does he have horns in the tail and stuff? Like a fiery guy? Because that's always amusing to me. I bet he could look at him when he wants. I mean he's got the power to manipulate all of mankind. We're assuming that it's real. Right he's like T1000. Yeah. Or T2000 whatever it was. No much more complicated than that. It's literally tempting you to do the wrong thing all the time. What if that's like a real thing? Like a real force in the universe. It's not just the problems with human biology and the desire to spread your DNA and tribal warfare and people stealing resources from other people so that their DNA would survive and the other ones wouldn't which is what it's been for all of human history. All the warring and all the thievery and all the horrible shit that people have done to each other. It's all like a survival thing. It's like it's all programmed in like that. You're freaking me out Joe. Yeah. You're losing me. I'm getting nervous. You should be. You should be a little nervous. Like what if the trap, the big ultimate trap is downloading your consciousness into something? Right. Like what if the soul actually can be contained? Like what if there's a way to actually put it into something? Like we think of the soul as being, you know, like if you believe in it at all, you think your soul leaves your body when you die. But what if you can suck it out of your body before you die, lock it up in a Ken doll? I would love for someone to try to suck my soul out via the cock. But what you describe is consciousness and just interact with other consciousness. That is reality, is it not? Or what if you can make duplicates of your consciousness? What kind of a hell would that be? What if you just couldn't help it? Like one of them ladies that has big giant fake butts. What if you just kept making more and more duplicates? Like what if Donald Trump got a hold of the duplicates of your consciousness machine and they said Donald, do you know how well you would dominate the world if there was a million of you all working together in sync? This is I mean, literally, tremendous. A million. We can do a million. We could do a billion. There's someone else might say a million is enough. I would say it's not. There's eight billion people. Why are there eight billion Trumps? And so you have eight billion of you. You just keep as much if you have money, just keep making duplicates of your consciousness and sending it out there. That'd be crazy. That's all that's all I have for this one. We're going to what we're going to reach a point like we were talking about like changing your structure like using genetics. They're going to do that. And they're also going to merge. People are going to merge with machines. It's going to happen in our life. You think 100% 100% they're already working on it. They're already working the first the doorway to it is going to be helping people with neurological conditions injuries, spinal cord injuries. People can't move their bones or they can't move their muscles correctly. But does I feel like people are just going to have robots that they work with for a while at least before they merge. Don't you think? I think the real dilemma is going to be what happens first and what has to happen first. So if artificial intelligence can now make its own decisions and if artificial intelligence becomes sentient means it becomes independent and then decides to make its own decisions and make a better version of itself. It's going to very quickly reach some godlike level. The only way we're going to survive is if we're merging with it. If we're still just fucking talking monkeys and we create this thing that's infinitely smarter than us and immediately puts a stop to all the shenanigans in the world, cuts off Pacific Ocean fishing, like engineers all the plastic removal, kills all the coal plants, redesigns nuclear power, you know, gets rid of all the fucking solar. Like this is a stick. Put a fucking reactor here. Get out of here with your panels. You've got 85 football fields covered up with this ugly black square thing. Fuck out of here. What are you dummies doing? Oh, you're on a wind farm? Great. Well, you can do all those birds that get chewed up like they're flying into a fan. You can pull that shit down and then they'll redesign all of our irrigation systems. They'll redesign all the food. And then they go, why are we feeding these morons? Right. What are they doing? You feed them, what do they do? They just want to eat Doritos and drink soda pop and watch 90 Day Fiance. That's all they wanted to do. Well that's the scary thing is they realize they don't need us. Someone used the metaphor of like cows. We eat cows and we wear them. So we have cows around. But if we had, what do we call it, 3D printers that just made meat and leather, we would probably be like, ah, we don't need these cows anymore. They stink and their methane is fucking up the environment. Let's just get rid of them. And that's AI. Where are the cows? You know what the darkest conspiracy theory about aliens is? I don't know if I'm ready for it. That earth is essentially a farm and human beings are the vessels that contain souls and they want us because this is how they create souls. And so they're farming us. They've created us. So we started off as primates and through some sort of genetic intervention, I'm not saying I believe this. I'm just saying that this is like top of the food chain, pull your tinfoil hat on super tight that they farm us and that the whole reason why human beings are involved in this conflict, constant conflict, all of it is to increase our competition with each other, increase our ability to control resources, which will increase our technology, which will ultimately lead to us creating this being that we're going to create, this artificially intelligent super God, which is going to happen. I don't even know what to say. I mean, that sounds crazy. I hope that's not the case. I got gigs. I think the gigs are going to be over. No, come on. What are you doing? You're bumming me out. Once we become cyborgs, comedy is not going to be what we do anymore. We're going to be flying. We're going to be, we're going to realize UFOs are around us all the time. No, we're going to be just seeing them. They're going to be just fine. Are you worried? I'm a little worried. I'm always worried about the future. The unknown is terrifying, of course. What about the election? Am I worried about the election? Yeah. Slightly. I mean, I've gotten much better at being like, I can't control any of this. And so I just take it a day at a time, but this could be, it could be. It's very AA of you. It is. Yeah. I mean, I'm an AA guy. I mean, I got to, but that's also just a proper way to live. Smart way to live. Sort of thing. I can't control it, but yeah, it's going to be crazy. It also feels like Trump is going to win, doesn't it? More than it ever felt like in 2016. Certainly. In 2016, it was like a joke to say that he was going to win. Yes. There was like eight people that were like, guys. You go downstairs, you go, Trump's going to win, you pussies. And people would go, whoa. You could play a character that said Trump was going to win. You don't even know about the regular America. Well, I think he didn't even think he was going to win. Oh, I thought he thought, I think he thought he was going to win. You do? Yeah. Oh, I thought he, it felt like, I felt like he was like, oh, okay. Did you see the footage that was removed from, what was it, Meet the Press? No. So, you know, he removed nine minutes of him denying the election. Of Trump denying the election? So, he does this interview, and the nine minutes that got removed is all him talking about the Hunter Biden laptop, that that was election interference, and that they were doing ballot stuffing. The lady's going, that's all been disproven, that's been disproven by the heads of your intelligence agency, that's been disproven by your team. You know that that's not true. And then, like, going back and forth, it's like, it's really wild. Let's move on to more productive topics, Mr. President. Let's move on, Mr. President. He's like, it's real. They stuffed the ballots. You've seen them stuff it. You've seen the photos. It's a wild, it's a wild conversation. And they took it off the internet? Yeah. Well, they took it off the show. And he's essentially saying, like, if you went to court, he'd have so much evidence that he'd win in court. Right. But why don't they go to court then? This is what I don't understand. I don't want to get, I'm agnostic about all this stuff until you show me, like, what kind of evidence is involved in this. But is it, I mean, am I just consuming too much mainstream evidence? I mean, media, like, I think there is no evidence. I think he's completely... Well, what he's saying is that there is evidence and that he needs to provide it in court. And what I'm saying is, like, why aren't you in court then? Yeah. Like, what? Because he's lying. Well, I don't know. He's not just sitting on the got, it's going to sit on evidence that's going to show that he won. But that's a big lie. And the other things that he said before, you know, they were saying that he was lying about Hunter Biden. They were saying he was lying about the laptop. And then they got the 51 intelligence agencies to back up, you know, the fact that it was disinformation. Like, he was right about that, though. He was right about the bribes. He was right about all that shit. Well, that's the tricky thing about lying so much, is occasionally you're going to say correct things and people are going to be like, oh, wait. Well, no, you know what it's like? It's like you're lying about another liar. Well, you're telling the truth about another liar. Like, it doesn't mean that you don't lie. Yeah, of course. Just because you catch someone lying doesn't mean you don't lie, too. Yeah, I mean, Donald Trump has certainly said many true things, but it's hard to parse. Parcel, parse, what's the word there? Part and parcel, I think. Yeah, I can't remember. But like, for instance, I was lying about the dancing mustache guy in flash dance. I found you on that. Jamie found it. So what it is, I'm sweating. See, there's this cock. There's a stunt double for part of the dance. So you can see how giant his quads are right there. Oh, yeah. The rest of this. I'll play it for you. So there's her. That's her. She's very shapely. Here it switches to the guy right now, and then he'll do this cool move that maybe she couldn't do. You can see he's got tights on this. Yes, this is the mustache. Oh, he's so jacked. Yeah, that's me right there. So if you free, if I pause a little bit, you can kind of tell it's not. That's so crazy that he didn't take the mustache off. Can you see the mustache? It's so obviously a dude. That's so crazy. And it's a Jack dude. Oh, yeah. Look at that guy. Look at that. Those hammies, baby. He's so thick. I'm not seeing the mustache all that clearly, though. I don't want to see the mustache. I don't know the mustache. I don't know the mustache. I showed the guy. He definitely has a mustache. He's fucking Jack, though. Look at her hair and look at his hair. Like, look at their spinning. He's got fucking short hair. They didn't even give him a wig. Look. Damn it. The mustache thing is bothering me, though. I swear there was a mustache somewhere. It might be like a Shane Gillis mustache. Right. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that. I'm saying that. I think it's like a Shane Gillis mustache. Like one of those ones you only see when you're right next to him. Yeah, you get close when you're kissing him. There's a clip I saw of, like, the director explaining this. And in that clip, the guy that showed the guy, and he does have a mustache. I mean, you might just feel like he doesn't remember that. Okay. All right. There's mustache in there somewhere. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe the guy grew a mustache later. Not a liar. You're not a liar. It was a dude, though. Can I start another cigar up? Fuck, yeah. Is that all right? I mean, all this alien talk. We're all going to die. I'm having a child. You're telling me the world's going to end. But will it be... are you a hopeful person in general, or are you a pessimistic, optimistic? I'm more optimistic than I am pessimistic. That's good. Yeah, I have faith in people. I think people need to somehow be confronted by the reality of the times that we're living in, and how captured our ideas are, and just to be careful of what we're doing in terms of worldwide conflict, personal conflict, all conflict. I think we're just too embroiled in unnecessary conflict. I think it's fucking dangerous. It's just the political conflict, the social conflict that we have. It just gets in the way of all the great aspects of life. Of course. And the problem is, you know, it's like people want things to be better, and they're convinced that this path is the way to make things better. And the other people are convinced that that's not the way to make things better. And there's no meeting in the middle. And these people are Nazis, and these people are Marxists, and it's like... Well, so much of this is social media. Don't you feel like... I know I'm not coming out with a groundbreaking theory here, but I think social media is really fucking us and dangerous, and would all be improved to limit it to some degree. Yeah, I'm getting a new phone and not putting any apps on it. I'm keeping an old phone that I'm going to use for social media, where I'll go and post things and stuff like that, but I'm done. Yeah, it's really not good. But the AI stuff, also they could fucking cure cancer and... What do you call it? What's the other one? Alzheimer's and all that shit? And climate change, fix that shit up, get a carbon vacuum, suck that shit, put it right in the earth. That's all positive. I was reading about some controversy involved in some fake meat company, where one of the whistle blowers is saying, like, are we the next Theranos? Who's that again? Theranos. Theranos was that lady, Elizabeth Holmes, who faked these blood test things. I think this thing's dying. No, give it to me. You need to like, rejuice it for some reason. It's almost like it's leaking. I think it might be like leaking fluid or something. It's going to blow. If it blows, I'll look away. Oh, God. I'm going to look away. Just get my neck in a little bit. Comedian Joe Rogan torches tits during podcast. It'd be a cool scar. Just a little tit torch. Yeah, you are an optimist. Yeah. If I light myself on fire, it'd be a cool scar. Most of the time, I'm optimistic. Look, the world is far better right now than it's ever been, and it seems to always be moving in a far better direction. Even all the social conflict, like a lot of the shit that I don't agree with, like a lot of the youth gender ideology stuff and a lot of the social justice warrior stuff, I see why it would be a good idea to pursue this idea of making things more equal for everybody. It's all in the right vein. I just don't think it works. I don't think it works accurately with human nature, but I like the fact that that's the direction that people are pushing aggressively rather than racism. Imagine if the same exact anti-racism energy was now pushed towards a racist agenda like Nazi Germany, because that was the same kind of thing. Right. But it was a negative thing. It was an extermination thing. But I think people, we've got to be real careful about the conflict that we get in, for fucking no reason. Yeah, but it does feel like everyone is coming from what they feel is a good place. Exactly. As did Hitler. I'm sure Hitler was like, we've got to get rid of these Jews. It's going to be better for everybody. So everyone thinks they're coming from a good place. Well, all the ideas of eugenics, those guys probably all thought they were coming from an idea of a good place. But to us, it's horrifying. So you get all the weak people, you're just going to kill them. Right. And just have only like the best, strongest, like best, like, okay, your music's going to suck. Right. Your music's going to suck. Your food's probably going to taste like shit. Your comedians. I mean, my God. Your comedian's going to suck. Your authors are going to suck. Yeah. Like you're going to change. You're going to become a warrior class. You're going to be the Spartans. Is that what we're going to do? Hopefully, don't you feel like maybe people will start there's more and more studies about social media, what's healthy. We know more and more about what's healthy, getting into the outdoors and being with people, being of service, as there's many, not to get AA again, but like there's many scientific studies that like when you're serving other people, that's the key to happiness. And there's more and more podcasts and books and studies about this. So hopefully people go, boy, I'm really fucking depressed and unhappy. Let me get into nature, put my phone down, be of service to others, and you have more people doing that. You do, but I think it's like the warnings on cigarette boxes. Everybody knows they're there and they keep smoking cigarettes. Social media is super addictive, man. But less people smoke than before. That's true. So they have worse. Still, a lot of people smoke. Of course, but. You might have more people that realize that social media is detrimental to your mental health. You probably have more people that would recognize it. Yeah. And I think more people do recognize it now than ever before. The problem is once you're hooked, it's fucking super hard to get off of it. Yeah, it's really hard. I'm bad when I'm by myself. When I'm with people, I'm very good about being present, but I spend so much time on the road. And when I'm in the hotel, I find myself being like, I'm going to watch a movie or read. And then I read three paragraphs and I'm like, oh, that's what's up with that guy. And I go to Wikipedia and start reading shit. Yeah. The thing to me is, you know, I love the fact that you can get entertainment on your phone. I love YouTube. I love podcasts. I love the fact that you listen to music. I love that. That's my favorite part of the phone. I feel like that's overall net positive. You know, I could watch ESPN Plus on my phone. I watch fights like live streaming just with 5G. Just sit there. If I'm stuck somewhere, like there's a UFC card, I'd fucking set my phone down right here. Yeah. And I can watch the fights. Yeah. I've had to do some boring ass shit that I agreed to do. And really part of it, you're just sitting there. I'm like, I'll pass out my phone. Right. I got the fights on now. Right. I love that. But the social media thing where people are checking their likes and checking what everybody else is doing. I just think that robs you of time to just interact with people and think. And I think we've become super accustomed to that thievery to the point where we just sort of accepted it. And I've only gone a couple of times without doing it. But one time that I did it was in Hawaii. I broke my phone. I dropped it and it just started randomly dialing phone numbers. Fine. I'd hold it up and it would just randomly dial. And I'd press a button. I'm like, look at this. And then we dial somebody else and I'd press send and then dial someone else. And you couldn't stop it from doing it. I restarted. I kept doing it. So I had an order of phone from Apple. I was on Lanai. It's a small island. OK. It took like three days to get me a phone. But during that three days, I felt so much better. I had the same thing happen. I was at Denver Comedy Works a few years ago. The same thing. My phone just crapped out. And I had like two days without it. And you're like, this is amazing. Yeah. I was like a normal person again. And I was with my family. So I knew where everybody was. We were all hanging out together. So it was like normal. And I was like, oh my God, this is such a better way to interact in life. And then as soon as I got my phone, I went right back to it. Yeah, it's hard not to. I was just listening to a thing to some, I don't know, psychologist guy or someone was talking about boredom. Like what you feel when you're bored. Like we need to feel that. And that evolutionarily was like basically you'd be out hunting and then no animals were coming by. And so you felt boredom. And that was your brain, your body telling you like, hey, go do something else. Go get berries or go fucking sleep or whatever. Where we need that to go, oh, you know what I should do is something else. But instead of feeling that, we just go straight to the phone. It's also one of the ways you come up with your best ideas. Right. You know, when you're just bored and thinking and then you're stuck in a waiting room somewhere with no magazines. And then next thing you know, like I used to have some of my best ideas on airplanes because I would be stuck on the airplane. I couldn't go anywhere. Yeah. And back when there was no Wi-Fi on airplanes, all I had was a notebook. Yeah, it was nice. The subway was like that in New York too. Before when I first moved there, you would have a 45 minute ride home just with your thoughts. Same thing. Exactly. Yeah. And we missed that for whatever reason. We didn't think that was valuable because the entertainment that you get off of TikTok or Twitter or any of that stuff is so much better. Well, and now you also have the feeling that I can be productive all the time. And in reality, it makes you less productive. But you think I can work, which is one of the problems they talk about with people working from home now is there's no more clocking in and clocking out. You wake up and you immediately start. So you end up working more. Maybe, or you fuck off a lot. Right. If you're caught jerking off. Right. I mean, that too. But there's a lot of pros and cons to working from home. The pros would all apply if you have discipline. You have discipline like why do you need to be in an office? If you have work that you can get done without other people. But don't we need the dopamine, the eye contact, the bumping into people? Sometimes you do, but it depends what you do. Right. Like if you're an author, you want silence. Right. Right. You don't have to be in a fucking office with a bunch of people. If you're an author, you ought to be able to sit alone and just think. Sure. You'll sit alone and come up with ideas. But my father's been working from home. He fucking hates it. He misses being on the train and bumping in. And he's like an introverted guy, but you know, going, hi, Sue, how do you do whatever? Right. We need those interactions. Dude, I hate to tell you this. I have to piss again. Piss again? I'm so sorry. Piss in my mouth. I don't care. I took a big IV back today. I'll be right back. Hey, we're back. We're back. This is like a dream to me because I piss a lot. So every time you have to piss, I'm like, this is beautiful. Yeah, usually I'm pretty good. Usually I can hang in there for a few hours, but it gets hard. It gets hard when I do the IV. And also before I did the IV, I did the sauna. When I go in the sauna, I drink a big fucking hydro flask filled with water, like a 64 ounce. Right. I hit the steam today. I'm a big steam room guy. You like the steam? I like both. I'm all steam. I prefer the sauna because I think it has more benefits because it gets hotter. Oh, really? The steam is like 120 degrees. Yeah. Yeah. The sauna gets like, I do 185. That's, is that healthy? It seems to be for me. Yeah, I don't have a problem with it, but I built up to it. I do 20 minutes at 185. I usually do 25 at 20 seems to, sometimes we'll still do 25, but especially if I've done the cold first. See, I find I'm at the gym. I don't have a personal sauna. Not yet. After this, I feel like you never know. But I feel like the sauna at the gym is like 110 or something like that. Is it higher than that? It's probably warmer, but I bet they don't jack that sucker up too high. They probably won't let it get up to like where I like it. Yeah, I love the steam. I love that. As soon as you get in there, you're fucking drenched. It's also just good to get your body reacts to that and it cools it off. And that's what produces these heat shock proteins. They're really good for inflammation. Hot baths are good for it too. A lot of different heat exposure is very good for you. But the best, at least in terms of the amount of studies that have been done, the best work has been done on the dry sauna. Not even an infrared sauna, which also has some benefits. But the dry sauna, they did this study in Finland that showed over 20 years, people that use the sauna four times or more a week, showed a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality. Wow. Strokes, heart attacks, cancer, everything. And it's this anti-inflammation effect they believe from the heat shock proteins. Because your body deals with this irritant, this thing, this heat, this pressure, this thing where your body has to react to a very extreme condition. And in doing so, it creates these anti-inflammatory properties to kind of protect itself. And then when you get out of there, it just flushes through your body. Maybe I'll start doing more of the sauna. Relaxed. Yeah. It's great. All right. No go sauna. But it seems great too. It feels good. It seems good for your voice and your skin. Skin? Yeah, I'm glowing. It's weird in there. It's fucking foggy. My buddy, a friend of mine and I, we used to go to 24 Hour Fitness in California and one of the guys was the manager of 24 Hour Fitness. They had just moved him over from West Hollywood. Yeah. And I go, we were talking, I go, what part of West Hollywood? He was the gayest part of West Hollywood. That's where 24 Hour Fitness is. He was basically a gay, he was a gay pickup gym. Right. And so they had to stop guys from fucking in the steam room and like they kept happening. So they had to like literally like have a guy outside of the steam room. I think that's a big thing. I go to Equinox. It's the same thing. They call it a gay friend of mine told me it's they called the low self esteem room because everyone's in there blowing and fucking each other. Imagine you're just a guy who goes in there to just get a steam and two guys are sucking each other off. I mean, I do a bit about it. I mean, I'm not gonna just do a bit here, but like, I feel like I've never seen sex and I wonder, am I just like a fucking dork that they're like, oh, this guy's not cool. Like everyone's put it away. Fucking this idiot's here. Maybe it's a special thing that only happens like one every three days. Well, maybe it's a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. It might be at night too, but I go. I'm sure. I go every once in a while. I have like access to all the Equinox. Occasionally I'll go to the one in Chelsea and I think that's one of the big ones I've heard. But I haven't seen. Is Equinox a 24 hour place? No, I think it closes at, I don't know, 11 or midnight or something. I think it depends, but I've been going to the one here and hitting the steam room and it's just me. But when I'm in there, I am like, is something about to go down? Right. Never know. Because I'd like to be asked. I did have a guy flirt one time with me and he was he was quite flirty and it was nice because he was complimenting my body, which, you know, I enjoy. I wasn't gonna fuck him, but I still was like, thank you, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. Did he ask if you were straight? No, he didn't ask. He was just like, you have a nice little body, but I'm I think a straight married man is the biggest get you can get. I think that's like if you're a gay guy to fuck a straight guy. It's like a trophy bass. That's huge. Yeah. It's like a 15 pound bass. I mean, I was talking to being of service. I mean, that's the ultimate service. That is the ultimate service. I could give someone that gift. If you really believe in inclusion and equity and and helping out the LGBT community, suck that guy off. Well, my thing is, and again, this is in my act. I don't want to be the guy that comes on and does this act. The temperature is the deterrent. Like, I don't understand how you have sex in 120 degree room. That is a little too toasty for my I like a summer set like 68. It can be done. It depends on how hard you are. I mean, I'm not denying it can be done. Imagine if you haven't had sex in weeks and then all of a sudden you're alone with your lady friend with your wife in a fucking sauna and she just moved that towel to the side. Yeah. You were about to black out, but you power through. I would enjoy that. Yeah. I mean, I do occasionally do squats. I feel like if you could do squats, you can fuck. Yeah. Maybe you just maybe just open the door of the sauna. Like, okay, we could do this, but let's let a little air in. Let the steam out. Well, just let a little air in. Let the steam out and the cream in. Hello, folks. Hey. Hi. Hey. How you doing? When did the term cream pie come around? I don't know. Because you just say that. You say cream pie and everybody knows what you're talking about. Yeah. All those terms. I don't know. Somebody it's a fascinating thing. Somebody started all those terms. Somebody was like, we're calling it this. And those are the ultimate viral things. Yeah. I mean, that's that's viral before viral. Oh, we can. There's actually a Wikipedia about this. There is? Wikipedia. A cream pie Wikipedia? Oh, shit. Pull it up. Meanwhile, they locked down Andrew Huberman's. Oh, I can't put the picture. Oh, my God. There's a picture. I don't have that on screen. With the vagina and jizz coming out of the vagina on Wikipedia. That's beautiful. Cream pie, known as an internal ejaculation and typically same sex context as a breeding, is a sexual act commonly featured in hardcore pornography in which a man ejaculates inside his partner's vagina or anus without the use of a condom resulting in visible seeping or dripping of the semen semen from the orifice. And they show you a photo for an example, like pornography on Wikipedia. Who fucking would have imagined? And they have a description of what the photo is semen flowing out of a woman's vagina. Look at this. Internal ejaculation shots are a comparatively recent development. Development like it's a fucking it's a feature in the new technology. Comparatively recent development of pornography. They are not found in early pornographic films. The use of the word cream pie describes such scenes originated in U.S. pornography in the early 2000s and is found in usage as early as the beginning of 1999. You're going to party like it's 1999. We're fucking right. In straight pornography, sexual activity is often followed by a facial, a pearl necklace or other visible ejaculation. Cream pie seems to part from heterosexual pornographic convention in favor of a depiction that more closely mimics sexual activity as performed in ordinary life. They have been called the counter image of facials. There's like theory. There's porn theory. Wow. How bizarre. You ever eat your own cream pie? What do you think? I know I have a friend who said he's done it many times and this is often I often debate this with people. It's one of my favorite topic of conversations with women where he claims the women were all into it. He said he's done it seven or eight times and they were all into it. And I claim they are lying or humoring him because I've asked many, many women and the women I've asked and maybe I hang out in more conservative sexually conservative circles. But all the women I've asked were like I would be tremendously off put by that. Yeah, that seems that seems super unusual. The dude just goes down there and munches on his own jizz. Yeah. Don't you find I mean, I'm not interested in eating jizz particularly, but don't you feel like right after you come, I have never felt less sexual. That's what's crazy to me is that after you come, you're still interested in like doing something fucking naughty. Maybe it's a Coke thing, maybe a meth thing or an Adderall thing. You know, I'm saying like a speedy thing because that's one of the things that my friend used to tell me when. James got to throw up over there. I had a friend that smoke crack and when he smoked crack, he would just always want to jerk off and fuck. I was like, really? He goes, yeah, you're always just trying to jerk off. Even if you're not horny, you just keep going. It's weird. Yeah, it's funny. When I was on Tom's podcast, he was talking about what losing Jamie. I just read the end of the article. Last paragraph. Internal ejaculations followed by images of semen dripping from the anus are sometimes depicted in bareback gay pornography where they are referred to by the term breeding or reverse money shot. Breeding is sometimes followed by felching, in which involves sucking the semen from the partner's anus. Holla at cha boy. You're from the felch. He's a felcher. Well, that's from the anus. I think it's from the butt. It's felching. Yeah, I don't think it's felching. I think he was like, titting or whatever. It was off the tits, which is. Oh, that's even grosser. Oh, that's even more disgusting. No, that's less gross than out of the asshole. I guess. Yeah. It's all gross. Yeah, because cum is better than cum and shit. I guess, but you're just licking cum off tits and she's watching you and that's weird. Yeah. That's a weird thing. Well, you got different strokes for different folks, you know? Yeah, definitely. I mean, you're not hurting anybody. No, but I do. Don't you think these women are being kind by being like, oh, I like that. It depends on the kind of women. I mean, he might be dating like crazy tattooed up fucking psychos. Well, I'm sure there's women that are like, please do this for me. Eat that jizz off my tits, baby. Now, what if your wife was like, Joe, I would really appreciate it. I'm into this. Please. This is what I need. This is my bucket list. Would you think about it? What do you think? I think no, but I like to pose questions. No, that's crazy. You'd have to be negotiating. Like, what do I get out of this? Right. What do I get to do if I do that or what do you do if I do that? Right. And I don't need any of that. I'm not interested. Is there any? Yeah. Is there an answer to that? No, there's no answer that would fucking fit. I mean, that's the question, right? How much would you have to pay to eat your own jizz? Or how much would you have to get paid to eat your own jizz? Like, if someone says, would you eat your own jizz? You're like, no. Would you eat your own jizz for $2 billion? Yes. 100%. Because it wouldn't take that long. No, it's fine. It's like fear factor. I mean, it's kind of like a just, you know, squeeze your nose. Can I have a Pepsi with me? Anybody that says they would never eat jizz, I would never eat my own jizz. Not even for $2 billion. Not even for $2 billion. Well, then you're an idiot because what do you like working? You like doing something you don't want to do? I do it for $800 bucks. I mean... If you... Yeah, that's $800 bucks you didn't have. And how long is it going to take you? If you do it quick and just fucking put your nose to the grindstone, you could probably lick that jizz up in a minute. Sure. One minute of suffering for $800 a minute. Less than a minute. I mean, I feel like... Oh, is this going to be like a glass of jizz video? Those fear factor. Yeah, dude, I'm literally one of the only people that got fired from a job in Hollywood because people had to drink jizz. You guys drink jizz? Yeah, usually... Oh, it's horse jizz. In Hollywood, that's how you get a job. This is... I got fired because people had to drink Donkey Kong. I encourage them. Oh, my God. Guys and girls. Now, would you rather eat Donkey Kong or your own kong? My own. I know what I'm eating. Donkey's probably fucking filled up with antibiotics and crazy medications. Make them grow quicker or something. Who knows what the fuck they're giving those donkeys. Monsanto, corn. Your own kong is less weird than someone else's. For sure. But then you think... I mean, again, I think this is being... Are we being bad people? Because most women we know and gay men we know have eaten kong, and they're very nice people. They're good for them. Doesn't mean you have to do it. I'm not saying... I have to do it. I'm saying... No, I got vaccinated. You should get vaccinated. I'm not saying we have to do it. I'm saying should we be pretending it's so... Not pretending, but projecting out that it's so horrible, because many people do it. No. No, we're stating our opinion on what it is like to us. You're allowed to not want to eat your own jizz. Good. I just don't want to say it's gross. I don't care for it. It's gross to you. It doesn't mean it's gross to everybody. Sushi is also gross to me. Well, I was going to bring that up. There's certain types of sushi where they use semen sacks. I've had that. Semen sacks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's certain kinds of like... There was a really high-end sushi place in L.A. and they had all these wacky sushi's. And one of the things they had was like... It was like fish semen sacks. Sounds like a department store. Semen sacks. It does. It does. Sounds like something that would be smash and grabbed. You'd see one of those Instagram videos, dudes with masks on running out with purses and shit. Yeah. Yeah, what is it? See if you can find what that is. It's a shirako. I should have asked Philip. Philip Franklin Lee. It's called shirako. It's popular in Japan. Yeah, there it is. Okay, I consider myself a pretty adventurous eater. Yeah, it's just a story by eating it. I don't know if that's important. Yeah, does it say exactly what it is? Yeah, yeah. Does it describe it? Yeah. Fish sperm. Yeah. It's the milt. The milt or sperm sacks of male cod. It's served both raw and cooked form in restaurants all over Japan. Yeah, I had that. That's not my scene. I've had whale. I've had whale and deer and sushi, but never come. You've compared whale to deer? That's hilarious. I'm saying those are unusual foods that don't get eaten that often. Deer's pretty usual. Venison? No, not in America. What? I mean, you eat it, right? But that's not like, if you go to fucking... There's a lot of restaurants that serve wild game. Really? Yeah. Elk Tenderloin, you've never seen that on the menu at a restaurant? I'm not saying I've never seen it, but they don't have it at Burger King. They don't have it at Chili. You go to like the Outback. They're not going to be like, do you want deer? You used to have it at Arby's. Is that right? Yeah, Arby's out of Venison sandwich. We have the meat. Right. But it's rarer than a cheeseburger or a steak. They had that, right? Didn't Arby's have a Venison sandwich? I'm not imagining that, right? This could be your dancing mustache guy. Well... Didn't they? Bringing back. Oh, yeah, okay. 2017 bringing back their popular, crazy popular Venison sandwich. They kind of have Venison steak. Hey, I could be wrong. Now they have a big game burger they've just launched. Hey, there you go. I don't need deer. Whale's unusual. Yeah. Both were in Norway. It was reindeer. Does that make a difference? Yeah, reindeer is caribou. Okay. Yeah, it's a different animal. Oh, it's a different animal. It's literally was on Santa's fucking sled. All right. Well, I had reindeer. You know what the difference between a reindeer and a caribou is? No. A reindeer is in a fenced in area. A caribou is wild. Oh, okay. Same animal. I literally thought this was going to be like a street joke, like a kid's popsicle stick joke. No, no, no, no, no. When they call it a reindeer, it's when they're captive. Because they can domesticate them and they even ride them. That's fun. Yeah. There's this dude that I had on the podcast who won alone, Jordan Jonas. Really cool guy. You ever see it alone? No, but I know about it. I just heard about it. His episode was amazing. He shot a moose with a bow and arrow and then a wolverine was stealing the moose and he killed the wolverine with a hatchet. Holy shit. It's a crazy fucking show, but he had a massive advantage going into that show because he had spent time living with tribal people in Siberia. Wow. Like he had spent time with all these folks that they ride around on these caribou, or reindeer, right? Yeah. They domesticate them. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. See if you can find some of those photos. Like a real life Santa. They also kill them and eat them. You know, it's kind of interesting. It's like they have this very strange relationship with them, but they revere them because it's a massive part of their survival, but they've managed to domesticate a deer species, which I don't think there's other deer species that are domesticated like that to the point where you can ride them. It says reindeer are the only deer species to be wildly domesticated. Ah, there you go. Are there wild horses still? Yes. Like do you go to places where there's horses just fucking running around? Oh yeah. See look at these people riding fucking caribou. No shit. Isn't that crazy? Hell yeah. I mean that's not even like a bred down, you know, like a Husky used to be a wolf. That's an actual caribou and that's a big one. They can fucking feed them and you can ride them, which is crazy. And where is this? So these people heard them. This was in Siberia where he did it. I don't know where this is right here. Must be that area. Click on that big picture with the article below it. Reindeer riders, historically semi nomadic people in several parts of the world of domesticated reindeer. It's Mongolia. Wow. So it's in Mongolia. I know it's in Siberia. Yeah, there you go. Mongolia, Siberia, Northern Europe. Perhaps in Norway. Not wild. So this dude, he lived with those folks. So like that's a hard scrabble life, you know, so he had a massive advantage being alone and he was good with the bow and arrow. So when he killed a moose, he had food for like six months. So that's different than this Naked and Afraid also. Is that a similar? Yeah, that shows more exploitative. This is people with actual skills and survival and they give them a limited number of tools. Like this guy was allowed to have a few tools. Right. You're allowed to have one of these, one of that, one of those. And then you have to build shelter, you have to find food, you have to do all these different things. My friend James Patterson, a comedian, he came up with a good show idea that I think is good. Don't say it out here so I won't steal it. You think? That's already said, we have a time stamped. Can I not say it? Because it's pretty good. Unless you want to go to court. I've credited him. And fight those weasels. No one's going to take this. Oh, that's cool. You know the Into the Wild, you know that book? Yeah. John Krakauer, my favorite book of all time. That's a good book. Love Krakauer. You ever have him on? He's a fascinating guy. I've never met him but his books are amazing. But anyways, he, you know, Christopher McCandless, it turns out he was quite close to civilization or whatever. Yeah, really close. And my friend James had an idea that we should take people, put them where he was, and they have to have consensual sex with a woman within 72 hours. So they have to get out of there. But once they're out, that's not the whole show. Then they have to shower up and hook up with a woman. God. That's pretty good. You have a survival show and a dating show combined. You know what's funny? If it was the opposite, if it was a woman, and she had to have consensual sex with a man, it's a fucking home run. But that's quite easy. Isn't that amazing? She could just, I'll just just stick around the woods. The difference in the desirability of men versus females is quite amazing. Is it desirability or the need to fuck? Like a man will fuck anybody. Is it because women are more desirable or is it because men need to fuck more? No, well, it's also women are more vulnerable because if they fuck, they might have to carry that guy's baby around with them. So genetically, they're more reluctant to breed unless they know you better, unless you're right. Good point. Yeah. But isn't that a fun show? I'm not saying it's the greatest show here. It might be fun. If you hate it, it's not my idea. It was my friend, James. It might be fun. What was the show, Milf Manor, where the ladies brought their sons and the sons banged all the other Milfs? I don't know, but I want to be part of it. I mean, that's the show. I got to talk to my agent. Isn't that what it was called? Was it Milf Manor or Milf Island? I remember we were watching a preview before the show actually came out and we were predicting what the fuck was going down on Milf Manor, but I never watched it. I'm about to have sex with a Milf. My wife is about to be a mother, and I'm going to have sex. I haven't had sex with a mother in like three weeks from now. Wow. It's crazy. This is my last hoorah. I'm out there. It's all happening. You're going to love it. Yeah, I'm very excited. I think it'll be great. Yeah, you're going to love it. It's a life changer, that's for sure. Yeah, of course. Perspective enhancer, you know, it's going to be wild. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. I think it'll be fun. You're worried she's going to hear, is it a boy or a girl? It's a boy. No worries then. Yeah, it's going to be weird. I mean, the girls hearing all your material about you not liking your balls played with. Yeah, I mean, all this stuff, but my son's going to hear all this. Yeah, but it's going to be weird. Me too, Dad. What the fuck are they doing down there? Good point. It is nice. But yeah, there's crazy how many, it's weird to think of my father, if there was like 4,000 hours of my dad just talking about women he's fucked and what he likes, and eating cum. And whether or not you would eat cum for a million dollars, you're like, I need cum for $800. I mean, how crazy is the idea of you hearing your parents talk about eating cum out of somebody's asshole? And you're like, what the fuck? Maybe in the future that won't be scary at all. I guess not, but it's wacky. It is wacky. And also that your son is going to be like, this is how you made a living? And you're like, yeah, pretty good one. They might be like, wow, I don't want to work either. Do you think that it would be as easy to grow up in a loving household and be a funny comedian, though? I think it's probably doable. I'm sure there are people, I mean, I feel like Ted Alexander, you know, that comedian, one of the best comedians ever. He's like one of my favorite comics. And he seems to come from a very good home. He's talked about his parents. He's very family oriented and just a community guy. He seems very normal to me and he's hilarious. It's possible. It's possible. There's the outliers. Because I mean, you can come from a very loving and silly family. You know what I mean? Like your family is very fun and we're all together telling stories and fun and silly. But the point was what I was going to try to get to is, is there any standup comic who had a kid that became a great standup comic? Oh, the kid becomes a comic. Let me think. I think Greg Geraldo's son is doing comedy. Is he good? I've never seen him. I think he's very new. He's also probably gone through a lot of pain. Of course. It's a different thing. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you're carrying the mantle for your father who was a great comic. Who else is? Is that the word carrying the mantle? Why does that sound so dumb? Right? Carrying the mantle. Something like mantle piece. Well, you don't carry a mantle. Mantle piece is the place where you put the mantle. Yeah. So mantle, what is a mantle? It's like a word. Mickey mantle. Isn't that the top? No, that's the top of the fireplace is the mantle. That's the mantle piece. That's a mantle piece? Yeah, I think. I only just know it as the mantle. Mantle to hold a specific role or position along with any associated responsibilities. And then what is mantle piece mean? Google mantle piece. I think mantle piece is where you showcase your mantles. I don't know. What does mantle piece mean? I don't know mantle piece. Isn't mantle piece the fucking top of a chimney? You know, like a fireplace? Isn't that a mantel piece? That's what I thought. I thought that was just mantle. Jamie, can you just Google mantle piece? I don't even know. Right? Do you know how to spell? What are you playing dumb? Mantle piece. Yeah, so that's what it is. Mantle piece is a structure, wood, marble, or stone above or around the fireplace. You guys are acting like I'm crazy. I've never heard of it. But I think they should. Well, how about just trust me and Google it next time instead of undermining my confidence? I was terrified that you were going to be right. No, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be spelling piece the way I think to spell it, if it's two words, if it's just a matter of time. So complicated, Jamie. How'd you get through it? I mean, I've got to, but I think people shorten it to mantle. Is that what it is? When you grew up, was it mantle? I've never heard anyone call mantle piece. I've never even heard that in my life. Well, maybe it's because I did construction a lot as a kid, but it was always mantle piece. I don't know. I never heard mantle piece either. But I'm not, you know, I'm not fighting it on it. Obviously, it's a thing. You know, wood burning stow, wood burning fireplaces in the house, they're fucking amazing, right? Yeah, my parents have one. It's one of the worst contributors to pollution. One of the worst. If you're in a neighborhood and everyone has a burning fire of wood in their fucking house, it's just smoke everywhere. It's like you basically, the town has a brush fire. But I mean, it can't be worse than a 747 flying across the neighborhood. Oh, of course it's worse. Really? Oh yeah, it's worse. Oh yeah. Yeah, forest fires. You remember those forest fires in Canada? Remember how bad New York was? Yeah, yeah. That's real bad for you. Real bad. That's smoke. Right. Burning wood smoke. The jet is like up in the sky and it's dispersed by winds. It's not good, but you're not like getting it in the face. Right. Yeah, good point. You're getting that smoke in your face, man. No, because it's going up the fucking flute and into the sky. No, it's going up like this and then it settles down everywhere. It's like a fog in the neighborhood. That's why you smell it everywhere. It just depends on how many fireplaces you have, how many alcohols the houses are together. But I never even thought about it until like two years ago. I was reading this article about the amount of air pollution that comes from wood burning stoves. And I think it was California that outlawed wood burning stoves. I don't think you could... Or wood burning fireplaces rather. I don't think you could build a new house with a wood burning fireplace anymore in California. Now, what about campfires? Those must be horrible too, right? Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. But campfires is like there's one little fire and it's... Hopefully, you're fucking smart and you know what you're doing. It's not too windy and you know how to make it in a clearing and all that. So you don't light the fucking whole woods on fire. Right. But yeah, it's not good. The real bad thing is obviously forest fires. Forest fires, wildfires, when those things get going, entire towns are blanketed with smoke for weeks. Yeah, it was crazy. I mean, I was in New York earlier this summer or spring. I think it was summer and it was fucking wild. You couldn't see the buildings. The weird thing was it was like an orange color. Yeah. And everybody was speculating. What are they burning? That was when the tin foil hatters were talking about like there's a bunch of chemicals that were missing from some train. Do you know about that story? There's some toxic chemicals that were missing. Like they're burning the toxic chemicals up in Canada. No, I didn't... I missed... I don't get a lot of the conspiracy theories. How come? Baseball talks in your head. I'm all baseball. I'm Scorsese baseball, baby. I like to live a nice, innocent life. Good for you. Just cruising along. Good for you. Writing bits, watching sports. Good for you. The sky's orange for whatever reason. Who cares? Well, because the sun is behind it. There's sun and smoke, so it makes orange. The sun is orange. I've colored. Mm. It's a big... I've never seen that orange. Well, it's yellow, whatever. I've never seen forest fires that orange. The sun's not yellow, it's chicken. It's white. It's white. Bob Dylan. It's the sun? Yeah. Yeah. It's what you're getting through the blue of the sky and all the... That's what makes it look yellow. Well, whatever. That's another conspiracy theory. But the... That orange smoke... Show me some photos of what that looks like, the smoke that was in New York City. Because it looks crazy orange. Like, almost like... Yeah, but... Like you're burning Cheetos. But the sunset is orange. So, the sun's setting and you get smoke, and so it becomes orangey. Maybe. But I don't think it was during sunset that this was happening. So what do you think? Like, people ran down and threw chemicals in the fire? No. No, I think it might be just the... whatever the kind of wood that's burning, what kind of... you know, what's getting burnt. I don't know. I don't... I really have no idea. All right. You ever see how many fucking trees are in Canada? There's a lot of trees. There's like... See, that's what it looked like. Some amount of billion trees. So this is 1.30pm, 1.45pm, 2pm. That's unusual, dude. Yeah. That's not just the sun. That's unusual. Whatever the fuck that is, that's very unusual for it to look like that. Go to the last part of the frame, Jimmy. So this is what it looks like as it blows in at 11.30, 12.30, 1.15, 1.30, 1.45. Like, right there. Stop it, too. Yeah, that's bad. That's not normal. That's a dark orange at 2pm. So that's not like sunset. It's weird. I mean, I don't know why that smoke is orange, but it's fucking weird. So that's when the conspiracy theories come in. Right. They believe there's hundreds of thousands of gallons mixed. They're trying to poison us. Depopulation. Do you believe it? No. I don't believe it, but I don't know. I mean, I don't know if something else burnt up there. They're not telling us about. It's Canada. Yeah, you never know. Do you trust them? Who? Canadians? I trust the people. I like hockey. I like hockey, too. I like Jim Carrey. I like the people. People are awesome. Yeah, they're the best. The people who are running the country that are a problem. I don't really know much about them. I think we should build a wall. Fuck it, let's do it. Build a wall. We've got a lot of wood. It's all wood up there. If it catches fire, though, it'll be like so fucking orange. Just make a ditch next to the wood so that the fire doesn't spread. That's not bad. No, I love Canada. I looked it up one time because my father-in-law once said there must be two trillion trees in the world. What do you think the number is? In the whole world? Yeah. Hmm. I think he went high. I believe it's less than that. I'm going to say 1.7 trillion trees. It's a total guess. I think it's in the billions. I'm going to say it's like 400 billion trees. I bet it's more than that. I think I remember, but I still thought fucking that lady had a mustache. What is it? 3.04 trillion. Wow. It's more. Oh, maybe I see. I knew he was off, but really he went low. Wow. Well, maybe when he said it, it was that number. I mean, this was like three years ago. Well, this is the thing. This is the crazy thing about this whole climate change discussion, and one of the things that people conveniently like to ignore. This is one of the greenest periods in recorded history. Wouldn't you think we're cutting down all the trees and there's less trees, there's less green than ever before? Right. No, carbon dioxide is food for plants. There's more plants now than there have been in the last 20 plus years. What is the ... When they say the greening of Earth because of climate change, Google that. What percentage more green is the Earth today than 50 years ago? Is that probably because there's more rain and shit? More carbon dioxide. All right. Yeah, literally it's food for them. But there's huge forest fires, all these places like Greece that they didn't use to be there. Yeah, but that was man-made. This is the other thing they keep talking about with all this climate change stuff. Yeah, there's definitely been forest fires, but a shit ton of them are man-made. A shit ton of them are accidents. The one in Hawaii power lines fell over. A lot of it's bad maintenance. The Hawaii one's definitely bad maintenance. They didn't chop down the dry grass near the power lines. They also need to bury power lines. That's fucking stupid. Especially in places where you've got high winds, bury your fucking power lines. Look what happened. The United States should take care of that too, by the way. And then there's also forest management. You're supposed to go into these forests and take out all the dead wood. Right, controlled burns and all that shit. Yeah, but they have to take it out. They remove it. And it's valuable. They can do stuff with that wood. So they need to log the dead wood out of the forest. They were talking about that during the Trump administration. He was blaming some of the fires they were having in California on poor management of the forests. And then I was like, that sounds like a ridiculous thing. And I talked to a guy who actually works with wildlife biology and he's like, it's really critical to do. That's why they do controlled burns. That's why they do get rid of dead wood. Like if you don't do it and then you have something comes in like the bark beetle and it kills a giant percentage of the trees. Carbon dioxide fertilization, greening earth, so that study finds. From a quarter to half of Earth's vegetated lands have showed significant greening over the last 35 years, largely due to the rising levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide, according to a new study published in the Journal of Nature Climate Change in April of 25. April 25, rather. International team of 32 offers in 24 institutions in eight countries led the effort, which involved using satellite data from NASA's moderate resolution imaging spectrometer. Ooh, that sounds cool. And the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's advanced very high resolution radiometer instruments to help determine the leaf area index or amount of leaf cover over the planet's vegetated regions. The greening represents an increase in leaves on plants and trees equivalent in an area to two times the continental United States. Great. Yeah. They don't say that because they say that the people go, well, why? Is not better? Is not good? Shut up. Climate change is bad and you need to go electric. Are you not scared of climate change and all the high temperatures and all that shit, the storms and the fires and all that business? I'm always concerned about weather because it's unpredictable. Right. And the thing about climate change is there's for sure humans are affecting it. To deny that seems crazy. We're fucking burning fossil fuels. But also, it's never been stable, like ever in history. The history of the earth, it's always done this crazy shit. And there's been massive ice ages where we weren't burning nothing. And then there's been like the dinosaur times where it was way fucking hotter. And there's been times on earth where there was no ice in the polar caps. And there's been times on earth where there's way more and half of North America was covered over a mile of ice. Right. So we'll be all right. I'm scared of ice ages, dude. No, we'll be fine. Yeah, maybe. But that's the thing to be scared of. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I hear a lot more concerned scientists about heat than ice. Right. Because that's the subject du jour. That's the thing you worry about more than terrorism. Right. But this isn't, I'm not talking like NBC. I'm talking like NASA fucking Stephen Hawking. I know he's dead, but you know. I don't think he was on the climate change thing. He was. He was paying attention much more to the whole universe, I think. But he was worried about it, I think. Was he? I heard him mention it somewhere. Well, it is. Or I didn't hear him, but you know what I mean. I read it. A concern. Look, if the earth gets warmer, it is a concern. But if the earth gets cooler, that's a concern too. It's just like life on earth is like insanely unpredictable. And they definitely need to figure out what kind of effect we're having on it, but they need to be like completely honest about what they know and what the data shows and what the problem is and how to fix it. For sure, there's a pollution problem. For sure. Like the fact that we ignore what we're doing in the ocean is crazy. Yeah, that's what I always thought. It's like even if you're like not concerned with climate change, it's like, well, aren't you interested in making the air cleaner and the water? I mean, shouldn't we have a cleaner place to live? 100%. That should be everybody's concern, like to eliminate pollution. But yeah, my buddy lives in Seattle and at one point they have this huge park. I have many huge parks there, but there was one park in particular, Lincoln Park, and they were going to cut down like 80 trees and all these environmentalist people were going crazy and like stop it and they were chaining themselves. And they were like, no, no, we're forest people. We need to get rid of these for whatever reason that's beyond me. But they were like, there's 7000 trees in this park. We're getting rid of 80 because they're whatever problematic. I don't know the signs behind it. They're like, we're not building a parking lot. We're not just chopping down and building a skyscraper. We know what we're doing. I mean, all these idiots are gluing their hands to monkey bars. Yeah, all the guys in the US open, they glued his feet. Did you see that guy? You see the guy who did it on a Formula One track? No. He put his hand to the ground, to the track to stop the race and they just ripped his hand off the fucking concrete. They couldn't do it. And then this guy just grabs him and rips his hand off and you see the guy like, ahhhh. It's like a home alone fucking trick. You seen it? No, I haven't seen it. But it's like we were talking about earlier. It is people that think they're doing the right thing, but they're really just losing people from the cause. Right. Because you're like, well, why are you interrupting my fucking tennis match? It makes me want to go spray fucking hair to let my car run all night. Well, they're just people that this is their quest. This is the thing that gives them value. This is the thing that makes them feel like they're useful in the world to run out onto the tennis court and stop the match because we've got a climate change. They're just crazy people, man. And they're co-opted by this movement. It's also funny because the US open is like 80% of the people take the seven train there. It's actually quite a green event. Yeah, and all the people that are green activists flew there in a private jet. Right. It's all bonkers. But they think they're helping. Yeah, they asked Bill Gates about that. I think the overall good that I do is okay that I drive a private jet. Right. The overall good that I do for climate change. You're very good at impressions and voices. You don't get enough credit. I got you a good Trump earlier. You did some other British voice. They're just half decent. I can only do a few voices legitimately. I don't have a good range. I can do Yoda. Yoda. I hope you can. Whoa. We can do that one. Holy shit. You're just sitting on this talent. Yeah, that one's easy. And Miss Piggy, if you can do Yoda, you can do Miss Piggy. Similar. Frank Oz. Turbit. Turbit, you frog. This is very impressive. You got a Chewbacca. Turbit. I mean, this is unbelievable. Chewbacca's an easy one, though. Chewbacca was the most preposterous creature in all of Star Wars. Because here you got this giant monkey thing with fur covering over his dick. Like, why is he... No furry thing has fur covering its dick. But he conveniently is dickless. Also, he's got no pants on and he's got the hairiest ass of all time. How does he shit and how does he wash it off? And how does he take that bare ass and sit down in the cockpit? That's a good point. He should have a pair of shorts. He should have a diaper on. Like, table. Like, he can't even talk. What is he? He's a wookiee. He's a wookiee, right? He's a big wookiee. Where's his shit? Where are they storing it? Does he use the regular bathroom on the fucking... Well, it's a 90-minute movie. You can't have a shit. Wait, I want answers, though. What if you're sitting on that fucking same seat that Chewbacca was just on with his crusty ass? I wouldn't like that. My friend Matt Wayne, who I mentioned earlier, had another point. He has bullets across his chest. A bandolier. He's got shotgun shells. Why does he have a gun? It's a bandolier. So it's a thing that contains cartridges. If you look at the bandolier, they're cartridges for his rifle. But it's laser rifles. They're all shooting lasers. Yeah, but... No one else has cartridges. It probably has power for the... It's a good point. Yeah, no one else has that. But they have pistols. And doesn't he have a rifle? They have pistols, but they're like... Yeah, he has a rifle. But those are like shotgun shells. Those things are cartridges. They look like cartridges to me. They're different. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. They're different. So that one, on your right, Jamie, that looks like a costume that you buy. It does. That looks fake. What is that? Yeah. Maybe he wears different stuff in different movies. Yeah, maybe he doesn't have bullets. Is that what it looks like to me? The flat things is what it looks like to me. Yeah. Maybe it's a bad point. He's got a crossbow? That's ridiculous. No, this is too modern. That's not Chewbacca. He's got a mustache. That looks like AI stuff. Yes, it does. That looks like AI stuff. Did he have a kind of a crossbow? Now I'm thinking he kind of did. No, he didn't have a crossbow. I think he kind of did. I think he got a crossbow that shot lasers. Get the hell out of here. He didn't have a crossbow. Yeah, no, I think he did. Yeah. A bowcaster. What? Yeah. So it didn't pull back like a bow, but there was something... He didn't have to reload it with every shot. But I think... what did it do? Yeah, see? He had a fucking crossbow. No, none of these are in the movie. He was the original. Yes, it is. Look at it. He's in like Michigan right there. This house is back there. That's not a toy. That's a toy. That's a toy that they can look like. Yeah, that's... They're ice fishing. Here you go over here. A bowcaster combines traditional craftsmanship with galactic technology. Oh, see? Firing metal coral and placed in plasma energy. Yeah. Okay. It does say it appears in Star Wars 4. So that's why he's got those things around his waist or his shoulders rather. It's all been thought through. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. What a... the first movies, man, were fucking a mate. When I was a kid, when Star Wars came out, I think we saw it like 13 times. It was a thing with me and my friends, like how many times can you see Star Wars? Yeah, it was fun. Scrape up some money, go see Star Wars. The Return of the Jedi is really silly. I don't remember. The Wookiees like beat the fucking Imperial Army with like rocks and stuff. They're like throwing sticks at them and they're like, whoa. The Ewoks? Yeah, the Ewoks. Oh, the Ewoks. They're the cute Wookiees. Yeah, it was really silly. They're like rolling logs and the fucking... Yeah. They're all Emperor or whatever the fucking club. Did you like Avatar? I hated Avatar. Really? Yeah. I just thought it was so heavy handed and I'm not a big cartoony, wow, purple things. Blue people. Blue people and it just felt very like we're fighting the war for the thing under the ground. Which, you know, I was against Iraq war, but it felt so like, the war. I loved it. Me too. I like whatever you like. I like, no, I mean... I know that, but that's the suspension of disbelief and it's a comic book movie, essentially. Yeah, that's not my scene. I love comic book movies. I love the Avengers and Hulk and Spider-Man and all that stuff. They're fun. But I grew up as a kid reading comic books. Right. So when they became legitimate... When I was a kid, I was really into comic books and the only thing you could get was the Spider-Man cartoon on TV. There was no real... There was the Incredible Hulk when it became a TV show later. But there was nothing like the Avengers. There was nothing like these movies. There was only Superman. And Superman to me was like DC Comics and DC Comics were like back before, you know, there was a typewriter. There was something about their superheroes. They just didn't appeal to me. They were more like 1950s superheroes. Whereas the Marvel comics to me, where they were like way more complex, way like Phoenix from the X-Men. Like she was basically a god. And there was just... There was like so many... Doctor Doom and fucking Doctor Strange, the Silver Surfer. They were cool. They were different kinds of superheroes. I get it. Yeah, you were a gay kid. That's cool. That's cool. You changed and you evolved. I just never... I like the Christopher Nolan Batmans. Those were fun. I like those a lot. Who's your favorite Batman? Who's the best Batman? I really like Christian Bale. I mean, I love Keaton. I mean, I grew up with Keaton. That was exciting. But Christian Bale, I really... He's the most believable Batman. Yeah, he's just a world class actor. And I liked his fucking Batman voice. His Batman voice. But he's also jacked. He was the first Batman to be jacked. Yeah, no, he's great. And those fucking movies rule. I was just talking about... I just rewatched Dark Knight on the plane. And Heath Ledger is like unrecognizable in this movie. And he's so good that he actually feels like because you can't see any Heath Ledger in him, it feels like that's a fucking weird entity thing. The Tim Burton one, you're like, oh, there's Jack Nicholson with makeup on. The Heath Ledger one, it feels like a fucking weird guy. Joaquin Phoenix is the scariest one. Because that one is the most realistic, the most probable. And the weird thing is, when that movie came out, it was before society fell apart. And then that movie showed this ultimate collapse of society, the rebellion of the underclass, taking things down and burning to the ground, this one fucking maniac leading the charge. Very Antifa. And then all that stuff started happening during the George Floyd riots and the chaos in the streets. And when bricks would just show up on the corner of streets and people would be throwing them through windows, and cops would stand by when people were looting, things we'd never seen in our life. It was very joker-esque. And that dude was an amazing joker. He looked fucking insane in that movie. Well, he's another just fucking incredible actor. But there's like three jokers now right now. There's like the Joaquin Joker and then there's Jared Leto. And then there's the new one. There's the new one? The Batman. The last scene. Who's the new joker? That actor who's great, he's in Killing of a Sacred Deer, which fucking rules. Yeah, they're all... That's the most complex character, is the Heath Ledger. The Heath Ledger Joker and the Joaquin Joker. Those are the... I mean, those are wild. Who's that guy? What's his name? He's fantastic. Can we see this? I haven't seen this. It's a deleted scene. Who's the Batman here? Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson. Oh, that's right. I thought you'd be curious. You think I could offer this stuff, don't you? It's a long scene. You're having a choice. They barely show his face. I think they're saving him for the second movie. Oh, interesting. Because they just teased it at the end of the first one. There. Oh, interesting. Oh, that's fun. He looks good. I like it. What's that actor's name? I will look him. He's really good. Do you ever get into those Your Ghost movies, Killing of a Sacred Deer? No. Oh, you got to check it out. He's a Greek filmmaker. I don't know how to say his last name. Your Ghost... Do I have to read? You're going to make me read? No, no. I mean, he has a movie called Dogtooth that's amazing, and that is in Greek. You'd have to read that one. But Killing of a Sacred Deer is Nicole Kidman and Colin Farrell. What was this? It's fucking great. Really? Like 2015, 2016, maybe? I've never heard of it. I'm going to write it down so I watch it. Oh, you'd love it. It's a real... Alicia Silverstone is in it. Killing of a Sacred Deer. Yeah, it's really fucked up. It's kind of funny. Yeah, that's the kid who's also the Joker. I think his name's Barry Keegan. I just saw it for a second. He's really good. But it's a really fucked up, disturbing movie. This guy, Your Ghost, makes these really disturbing movies. That's amazing. I've never even heard of it. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, highly recommend. That's a fun poster. Yeah, check it out. I don't know how to say his name. Lan Themos. He's got a new movie coming out with Emma Stone. You're a real movie buff, huh? I mean, I'm a lover of movies. I don't know. I don't know if I'm a buff. You find yourself wanting to create your own? Yeah, I did the movie with Louie. Right, but I mean, from scratch? Yeah, definitely. I want to do more. I'm making a documentary right now about a comedian named Tom Dustin, a buddy of mine, that we're almost finished with. In fact, I wanted to ask you, I asked Jamie earlier, this is like a four-second clip. He runs a club in Key West. I think Ari talked about it here. And we have a clip from this show that's like four seconds. It's literally just you saying, is there a club in Key West? And Ari's like, yeah, there's a small club. Yeah, I know Tom Rhodes worked there. I was following him on Instagram, and I saw he was at Key West. I was like, oh, that looks like a fun place to go to. Yeah, it's fucking great. And my buddy Tom Dustin, we started together in Boston, and we were drunk and wild. And I kind of got sober and went to New York, and then he kept drinking and went to Key West. And it's kind of the story of our little paths. And he's just a hilarious, amazing comedian. And he owns the club? He co-owns the club and runs it. He emcees and books it, and he's living the Key West life. I like that. And he's a fascinating guy, and he's fucking hilarious. There's a bunch of stand-up in it and great stories. How often do they have to evacuate? I don't think that often. Really? No, I don't think they've evacuated in a long time. Hurricanes don't get them? They do, but not that often. Every few years, I think. I think they just wait out the storms. They have weird rules. They can't build high-rises there and all that shit. Of course. But can they make hurricane-proof houses? One of us every six years. There you go. There you go. It's been a while. Can you show me the clip? We'll end with that. Show me the clip from this documentary you're doing. I haven't. I don't have it. I don't have it. Yeah, shit, it's on my phone. I should have sent it ahead. Where's your phone? It's on your phone? Yeah. Yeah, send it to Jamie. Drop it to me or is it a link? Let me see. Oh, God. I should have done this before. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. If it takes too long, we'll just edit it. I fucked up. Don't sweat it at all. Let me see if I can find it. While you're doing this, let me just tell you how much fun it's been having you in town. Oh, man. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It's cool. One of the cool things about the comedy mothership is when people come through and hang out for a few days. It's just like every week. These comics that are coming up, they all get exposed to all these brilliant ... Colin was just here and all the ... I didn't get a chance to see him. I was too busy. All the comics were here. It was just raving about how great he was and how much fun it was. It was a master class. He said he's just brilliant on stage. Well, Colin's the fucking best. He's so underrated. It's like him and Atel are so brilliant but yet do not promote themselves at all. Yeah, I think he's getting better at it but yeah, he's truly a genius. That's a guy that's just always giving and always so thoughtful, always takes calls from comics. Colin? Yeah. He's a sweetheart. He's always been a sweetheart. That show that he did, Tough Crowd, was really essentially one of ... That was one of the beginnings of podcasting as well. There's a few beginnings of podcasting like the way we do it. You do it, I do it. All of our friends, whether it's Legion of Skanks or Ari or it's just shit talking. Guys getting together and fucking around and hanging out and that was what Tough Crowd was. You got a bunch of comics together and they would all start fucking with each other and roasting and Patrice and Norton and it was awesome. I loved it. I did it a couple of times but every time I did it, I was like, God, I love this. It's like a fucking amazing green room where there's cameras on you and you're all just hanging out. Yeah, Colin really loves comics and the comic hang more than anybody. He's pure. They really love him. This is the thing. Nobody hates Colin. No. Have you ever heard anybody say a bad thing about Colin Quinn? I literally have not. Never. Never. Never. But he's underrated and I think when someone's that underrated, it's up to us to say, if you have a chance, go see that guy. Again, I've seen him in the past. He's fucking brilliant. I haven't seen his new set that he's doing but everybody that was at the club was universally wrapped. My friend, Asan, he met Asan last night. Yeah, yeah. He's hilarious. He's hilarious. He's a guy that's been beautiful watching him grow because I met him when he was just starting out at the comedy store and then all of a sudden he's in LA and all of a sudden he's working and getting up in LA and then he moves to Austin and now he's getting up multiple times a night. He's constantly getting up because there's shows everywhere. There's shows all over the place out here. It's amazing watching people grow and he said that when he saw Colin, he said it might be one of the best hours he's ever seen in his life. Yeah, no, Colin just keeps getting better. It's really unbelievable. I just did ... I'm going to throw another plug out there. I have a podcast, Mindful Metal Jacket. I just had him on it and I was asking him, he's gotten so much more. What is your podcast, Colin? It's called Mindful Metal Jacket. Oh. I like it. I'm bad at naming things. I like it. No, that's a good name. I just had him on and we just talked about what a creative outburst he's had in the last 10, 15 years. What has he attributed to? He just said he started organizing better, really organizing his stuff and working towards having like, all right, this special is going to be about this thing and just organizing his material. Well, he does kind of one man show type specials, but with brilliant stand up. It's like really funny bits that are all organized on themes. Yeah, no, he's just a brilliant guy and just the best guy off stage. Super nice guy. But that's the thing. It's like, he doesn't have any desire to be any bigger. No, I don't think so. All he's doing is just working on great work, but that's also why his work is so great is because he's just concentrating on that, which I think is awesome. That's like the most important part. I can't figure out how to say this. Don't worry about it. I was so excited to show it. Send it to me later and I'll throw it up on Instagram. Okay, yeah, it's going to be great though. All right, Joe List, you're the shit. I appreciate you. Thank you. Can I throw my special out there? It's a very special enough for everybody. It's on YouTube and I got fucking demonetized for saying cunt. Let's fucking go. All right. Social media, all that stuff. What is it? At Joe List Comedy and then YouTube. I got three specials on YouTube, three hours and three and a half years. Go see them live. Very, very funny. Where are you going to be live next? Skankfest. Helium. I'm at Skankfest. I'm flying straight to Skankfest now. I live my bags with me. Then next weekend, Helium, October 5th through the 7th in Philadelphia. Oh, that's a great room. Yeah. That's one of my favorite rooms of all time. I love the city. I love the room. It's mostly sold. You know what's a great room? Yeah, get in there. You know what else is a great room? Portland. Portland here. Yeah, I was just there. It's great. It's probably real good now. It's like doing stand up at a war zone.