#1491 - Bill Burr

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Bill Burr

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Bill Burr is a standup comedian, actor, and host of the Monday Morning Podcast. He's also the voice of Frank Murphy in the Netflix animated sitcom F is for Family, currently in its fourth season.

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Transcript

0:00

hello family man hello sir good to see you brother good to see you too

0:04

we were just talking about uh like you have two kids now you have a real family

0:09

you got to get an

0:10

suv yeah oh yeah we had something but just once you get the two car seats in

0:15

the back and then

0:16

you know with all the for the kids and then all the your wife has all of a

0:20

sudden it's

0:20

just like oh i now understand remember the suburban yeah which was a long like

0:24

blazer

0:25

and you look at that thing like who the needs all of that unless you're like

0:28

homeless and that's

0:29

where you live but then you're like oh i get it again if you have three four

0:32

kids yeah you

0:33

definitely need one you definitely need one they always bring a bunch of with

0:36

them too they want

0:37

to bring stuff so yeah you have to have yeah you have to have room for a toy or

0:42

this or that those

0:43

tesla ones you were talking about those are great the x with the crazy doors

0:47

yeah the lambo doors

0:48

yeah those are dope have you ever seen them dance no tiffany haddish had one

0:52

she was in the back of

0:53

the comedy store i heard that and she uh set it to dance and she puts music on

0:57

it and the wings start

0:59

going up and the car starts like turning left and right it's actually pretty

1:02

badass it's fun she's

1:04

one of the most fun people i've ever hung out with so i i wish i was i wish i

1:08

was there for that

1:09

she had the covid she had it she got it over she kicked it i'm surprised more

1:15

comics didn't get

1:16

it the way we're shaking hands and meeting people after shows um yeah i saw my

1:22

i got my wife had the

1:23

kids we had to get tested so i was i said yeah big j okerson got it he had it

1:29

and he's clean it feels

1:30

weird to be talking about people that have it yeah i know a lot of people that

1:34

caught it yeah i know

1:35

about nine you're like naming names like joe mccarthy over there oh they're

1:40

fine now well i like people

1:42

who've had it now because they have the antibodies they think they can like

1:45

walk on fire it's like dude

1:46

this thing is a brand new thing i don't know if you want to be testing you know

1:50

i got a buddy of mine uh

1:52

ended up getting it and then he was just like well they i got tested i got the

1:55

antibodies so now i think

1:57

he feels like he's bulletproof so they don't even know if you can catch it

2:00

again they don't they

2:01

really have no idea well people are going to find out yeah we're going to find

2:04

out yeah because when

2:05

i was driving over here i actually got into a moderate level of traffic on the

2:09

highway like i've noticed

2:11

it's just at some point i mean considering people are just kind of doing what

2:16

they want to do

2:17

and a lot of people were after two weeks everyone just sort of depending on

2:21

where your ego was like

2:23

you're not gonna tell me this is all a fucking something i'm gonna go outside

2:27

those people

2:28

they just kept it going so now i just feel like well you can't have 60 percent

2:32

of the population go

2:33

broke because less than one percent has something yeah so i don't know i think

2:38

we're just gonna

2:39

just go back i think we're just gonna go back and if you get it you get it and

2:44

if you die you die and if you don't you don't and then

2:47

eventually they're gonna get they're gonna get something that'll slow it down

2:50

or stop it or

2:51

something like that here's what slows it down your immune system they don't

2:54

tell you a goddamn

2:54

thing about that they don't tell you how to take care of your immune system

2:58

there's no

2:58

word about that it's put a mask on wash your hands no one's telling you sleep

3:02

more drink water

3:03

take vitamins there's none of that yeah and i know this one guy who brought up

3:06

vitamin d on his

3:07

big podcast and then you couldn't find it anymore dude you're like fucking oprah

3:10

when she attacked

3:11

the meat industry i just saw a clip oh this guy on rogan and of course i didn't

3:15

even research

3:16

the guy was it was just like take vitamin d a woman how much i pay attention

3:20

and i go i go to the

3:21

fucking health food store it's all gone and there was something this bootleg

3:25

vitamin d was like

3:26

vitamin d plus i'm like what what is that what is that i know that that that's

3:30

probably gonna make

3:31

me catch it so i just take vitamin c and i try to get eight hours sleep and i i've

3:35

been i've been

3:36

doing a pretty good job of uh i'm pretty anti-social like a lot of comics so i

3:40

haven't had a problem

3:42

keep it away from everybody yeah my wife i i quarantine in my house like my

3:46

wife so you guys

3:47

sit down and have dinner with us i'm always over in the corner if i'm alone no

3:51

one can hurt me

3:52

just leftover childhood just coming from a family of loners so do you feel

4:01

weird not doing stand-up

4:02

what has that been like um i did not miss it at all and but i think that

4:08

whenever there's something

4:10

like painful in my life i think that that's what i do is i just go i don't care

4:14

i don't give a

4:14

fuck it's all i i really learned a lot more about myself during this quiet time

4:20

of not running

4:21

around and going to airports and kind of sitting with myself and being like wow

4:25

i thought i was

4:25

way further down the road working on myself than i was but i have a lot of

4:31

fucking childhood issues

4:33

left over i got a lot like i really started like all these puzzle pieces just

4:38

started coming in and

4:40

i was able to look all the way back where i was to where where i am now and how

4:45

i got here and these

4:46

little things that happened to me you know good things and bad that just sort

4:51

of just knocked me

4:52

down this road that i'm on it was just sitting alone with alone time yeah well

4:56

you know my wife was

4:59

going through you know the third trimester you know when you know when they're

5:02

just over it and you're

5:02

like oh god there's six weeks to go i'm ready to have it no he's like oh no um

5:08

you know i finally

5:11

you know get my daughter to bed get her to bed everything was good made sure

5:15

all the doors were

5:15

locked and then i was just sort of like why you know all these years of doing

5:19

stand-up i'm just up at

5:20

that hour right so i was just sort of you know sitting kind of by myself like i

5:25

i i don't know

5:27

i haven't been watching tv like the news you just brought up three things you

5:30

see he's going on seattle

5:31

with the fcc whatever he says i don't know what i don't even know what it is

5:35

what is tifa antifa

5:37

they call themselves anti-fascists and they're they wear masks and they carry

5:43

sticks and helmets and

5:45

shit and they intimidate people exactly to stop fascism they use fascism to

5:50

stop fascism yeah

5:52

and they blocked off i think six blocks of seattle and they declared it a

5:55

police-free zone this is

5:57

occupied by the people of seattle and you you can't use money in that police-free

6:01

zone you know joe i'm

6:02

going to go out on a limb and say that's not going to end well it's not going

6:04

to end well at all that's

6:05

the only thing that's going to keep it from ending badly is that seattle is

6:09

kind of a fucked up city

6:10

they tolerate a lot of homelessness seattle's got a lot of weird laws like it's

6:15

a it's a um i forget

6:17

the way it's described i think it's a mutual combat state that's what it's

6:20

described so like if you're

6:21

in front of a cop say if uh say if i'm a cop and you and jamie decide to duke

6:25

it out you can just say

6:26

you want to fight motherfucker and he'll go yeah i want to fight and the cops

6:29

will let you fight because

6:31

it's some wild west mining shit from like the fucking 1600s settle it like men

6:36

on the books yeah no

6:37

lawsuits i like it you can duke it out in the middle of the street it's very

6:40

dangerous though

6:41

people getting knocked out on the street is fucking terrifying because they

6:44

fall and they hit their

6:44

head and they go unconscious and there's no refs to stop those last nine hammer

6:49

fists i think the

6:50

cops are supposed to do that the cops are supposed to act as a referee too but

6:53

this there's videos of

6:55

guys getting into street fights in seattle and cops just standing around

6:58

watching

7:00

yeah it's real weird in fact i don't have a problem if two people are willing

7:04

to do it and they

7:05

they're uh they know the risks you know if you get hit you're gonna fall and

7:10

crack your head on the

7:11

back of the the curb there i mean a lot of them are drunk though they don't

7:14

know the risks there was

7:15

one of them this is this kid uh i think his last name is fodor uh i think carlos

7:21

fodor he was a

7:22

mma fighter and he would dress up like a superhero what see see if you can find

7:26

out what do you remember

7:27

his name anyway he actually knew how to fight and he was dressed like a

7:31

superhero so he's kind of

7:33

baiting people to fuck with him and he's walking on the street and these guys

7:36

fuck with them and they

7:37

hilarious they decide to go at it and then you know he's bouncing around like a

7:41

real pro fighter and

7:42

starts slamming leg kicks in on this guy you see this guy's face like oh my god

7:45

what the

7:45

fuck have i signed up for he's just some drunk asshole and some dude dressed

7:49

like a superhero well i

7:51

i don't have any sympathy for those people i think he called himself phoenix jones

7:55

if i saw a guy

7:56

walking around dressed like a superhero i'd be like that guy's out of his mind

8:00

and i would give him a

8:01

wide berth yes hoping he was on his way to his place of solitude whatever that

8:06

maybe he's on his way

8:09

home to his ice house he's on his way to the bat cave or some cosplay but if i

8:14

was younger uh yeah

8:15

i might have you know if i was standing in a crowd yeah i probably would have

8:19

done some yeah punk

8:20

shit like that couple of whiskeys in yeah oh yeah get my orange wig slapped off

8:25

yeah probably

8:26

so seattle is on it's run by a warlord some one dude apparently according to my

8:35

friend who's a

8:36

seal was running this entire seven block or six block area of seattle they

8:41

spray painted all the

8:42

windows on this yeah you know okay talk to me in three days it's been going on

8:46

a lot longer than

8:47

that it'll be fun you think so what is going to happen do you think there's war

8:51

loads what he's

8:52

going to have 10 blocks and then 11 and then he's going to take over all of washington

8:56

i mean he's

8:57

going to run out of men they have guns okay that's the problem the problem is

9:01

they're openly carrying

9:03

rifles inside this six block i know but they need to eat okay and then no

9:07

supplies are going to get

9:09

in that seven blocks they're just going to wait them out or they're going to

9:12

come in with superior

9:13

firepower and it's not going to end well joe i don't think it's going to end

9:17

well i'm just i don't know

9:18

how it's going to end all right let's let's let's guess the scenario okay all

9:23

right how many bodies

9:24

what's the over under four people die how many are there how many of them are

9:28

there thousands i think

9:31

thousands and you're only going with four that's a good number that's like a vegas

9:35

number where you're

9:35

like they always pick the perfect do i go over or i go under this the price is

9:40

right i don't know how

9:41

many people are in there but the photos that i saw the place is packed filled

9:44

with people like like

9:45

they're just getting out of a chapelle show look at this these are the people

9:49

they took city hall oh

9:50

they took city hall they own city oh now now most of them are white so i don't

9:54

see the staying power

9:56

of this wait what did you just say they opened the door for them yeah they gave

10:00

them city hall so this is

10:02

city hall they're walking into right now yeah this is yeah well this is going

10:05

to be funny now when

10:06

they get in and they don't know what to do let me hear some volume on this jamie

10:08

i want to hear what

10:09

the fuck they're yelling

10:11

something about jamie masada jamie's got to go yeah the laugh factory in long

10:28

beach got looted last night

10:30

oh god i can't imagine how many puppets they took

10:32

is there puppets in the laugh factory giant creepy fucking mannequins i that

10:39

place is oh it's you

10:40

know i love that place i love performing there but some of the jamie's decor i

10:44

love my favorite

10:45

things to do in this business is on jamie masada he knows i love him buddy bill

10:49

burr black lives

10:51

matter body don't burn down my club yes please buddy this business has always

10:56

been weird like that

10:58

there's always no that's why you're the king dude because you got outside of it

11:01

but you're totally in

11:02

it and they can't they can't get you they can't get you i i you know i'm piling

11:06

up some stories here

11:09

being in the matrix i won't get into them but it's the same it's just the same

11:14

old

11:14

corporations only know how to do business one way and it's just they push their

11:20

advantage they push

11:21

their advantage they have their leverage and they want the biggest slice of the

11:25

pie that's that's what

11:26

they i don't have a problem with that it's when they go beyond that and they

11:29

just straight up steal

11:30

are they stealing from you everybody does every every time you get in business

11:33

with like corporate

11:34

guys this is how it works it's like the check okay we're in business to make

11:38

money from them and then

11:39

you get in business with them and then the check goes to the corporate guy and

11:42

then you get your cut

11:43

off of his checkbook so right there i am immediately in a situation where there's

11:48

no way i can steal from

11:49

him but he can rob me blind right and you can add a bunch of expenses on the

11:53

things that front end

11:55

load expenses to make it look like they're losing money and yeah that's hollywood

11:59

accounting yeah

12:00

no it's stealing it's stealing is what it is they just call it hollywood

12:03

accounting yes but it's not

12:04

hollywood accounting it's it's corporate accounting it's scumbag accounting

12:08

that's just and it's how

12:09

they do it and they sleep at night and then they always have oh that's over in

12:12

the accounting section

12:13

of the building not over here where me and my yacht are i'm like artist

12:18

friendly you know i majored in

12:21

fucking liberal arts in college well what was really interesting when podcasts

12:25

started to take off they

12:27

started to try to get in with the old model and weasel into podcasts and and

12:33

buy pieces of podcasts

12:35

and like if you come on my network your deal is gonna is if you think the

12:40

fucking industry is gonna

12:40

sit back when they didn't get to wet their beak on that thing i'm gonna tell

12:44

every young comic when we

12:45

get back to this shit is what they're gonna do now is what the music industry

12:48

did where they started

12:49

signing straight across the board deals they're gonna get some young kid who's

12:54

got no power in the

12:54

business and it's just like you know we'll help you create a podcast you know

12:58

we're signed with so

12:59

and so blah blah and what they're gonna do is they're gonna own the podcast the

13:02

advertising money's gonna

13:03

go to them and they're gonna rob them blind 100 they're gonna 100 100 gonna

13:09

steal from them rob

13:11

them blind and then when they get audited and they get caught stealing they're

13:16

gonna label that kid that

13:17

young comic difficult to work with meaning difficult to steal from that's it's

13:22

already happening yeah

13:23

uh i know guys who young guys i won't name any names but they've come up to me

13:27

and go hey um

13:28

i'm signed to this management company they want to sign me but they want a

13:32

piece of my podcast no

13:34

they want a piece of this and they they want it there's no reason there's no

13:38

reason yeah you got

13:39

to tell people that because you're the you got to tell oh you got to tell

13:42

people do not don't give up

13:43

anything don't give up anything don't ever it's all you because they're not

13:46

going to do anything for

13:47

you they think what they're going to do is move the ball quicker that first two

13:51

years and then the

13:52

rest is all going to be you if you just hang in there and and struggle a little

13:55

bit like uh you've

13:57

got to grind you're just going to hang in there and keep going i mean i got a

14:00

lot of offers to buy

14:01

half of the podcast or to buy p and i nothing i wouldn't i won't i won't do it

14:05

i'll never do it

14:07

but then spotify came along and they said we'll give you a licensing deal so

14:11

just put it on our

14:12

network for three months but you still own it right i'm like all right we're in

14:15

and that's that's why

14:16

we did it that way but this this comic that i won't name he was telling me that

14:20

is this management

14:21

company they wanted to sign him they wanted to own a piece of his podcast

14:24

forever and i'm like that

14:26

eventually will become yeah because what they're going to look at it is they're

14:29

going to make it like

14:30

if you started a podcast while you were with this manager or why with this

14:34

agent it'll be like back

14:36

in the day when you booked a sitcom exactly and then if you left the agency of

14:40

the manager throughout

14:41

the lifetime of that sitcom you owed the commission to them exactly but back

14:44

then that you needed them

14:46

to do that you don't need them for the podcast but they're going to do that so

14:49

then you're going to

14:50

leave this manager and then for the rest of your life you're going to be paying

14:53

this never-ending

14:54

alimony yeah i mean there'll be guys eventually they'll try to take 50 60 i own

14:59

your podcast

15:00

uh-huh managers will start agents will start podcast networks because there's

15:04

nobody regulating

15:05

them to not do that anymore i got an offer just five years ago from a company

15:10

that was a radio company

15:12

that wanted 50 of the podcast they were going to give me no money they wanted

15:16

50 of the podcast

15:17

just to be associated with them and like we're going to pull together all these

15:20

advertisers and

15:21

it's going to help your revenue no 50 so that and they never deliver with what

15:26

they say they're gonna

15:27

and then they come in and they just they just they gut the thing well the

15:31

beautiful thing about podcasts

15:32

is podcasts all get big on word of mouth like i've never advertised this

15:36

podcast i never did anything

15:38

with it right i never bought billboards or put ads up anywhere it's just from

15:42

word of mouth and the way

15:43

other podcasts grow is people get on people's podcasts and they say hey you

15:48

listen to bill

15:49

burr's podcast money morning podcast hilarious and then it just grows but i

15:53

think it's the job of

15:54

people making money in podcasting to let new podcasters know do not sign those

15:58

deals ever do not let

16:00

the fox into the hen house because they are going to rob you blind and you don't

16:05

need it i saw this

16:06

documentary one time on this heavy metal band anvil right this crazy thing

16:10

about this band that just

16:11

was around forever and never quite made it and there was a i think it was i

16:15

think it was that one it's

16:16

one of those ones about an old like metal band from the 80s and this guy said

16:20

like the truest ever

16:21

when he was talking about the music business and this goes straight across

16:24

podcasts everything he goes

16:25

you're better to own something a hundred percent and only sell 20 000 copies

16:30

than you are to uh not

16:32

own it at all and sell 20 million like you're literally going to make more if

16:36

you just sell 20 20

16:37

crazy yeah no they're because and then another thing that they do oh my god

16:40

dude another thing that they

16:42

do is then the all the people that they lose on they dump that on you yes yes

16:47

like i remember one time

16:50

i forget what i i was uh with this network and i had a cd that was already made

16:55

i already made it and

16:57

i just wanted them to put it out on their label and they and they wanted to own

17:02

the cd and i was like

17:03

no i'm not no i don't want you to own it i just need you to to to like

17:07

distribute it i need you as a

17:08

distributor and the guy said to me goes well you know ownership shouldn't be

17:11

that big a deal for you

17:13

it should be about exposure i said all right well let me ask you this if

17:16

ownership shouldn't be that

17:18

big a deal to me why is it such a big deal to you and he started like stammering

17:22

and then he basically

17:23

said well you know we get in business with something he named a couple other

17:27

comics whose cds didn't sell

17:28

and we have to recoup those losses it's like that ain't my fault that's

17:32

hilarious i could have told

17:33

you not to sign that jerk off what is your it's not my fault you didn't do the

17:38

work

17:38

so that's the way i had another one one time i signed with this is back when i

17:44

made like cds and i

17:45

did one and i had a 60 40 you get you know i was getting 60 and they were

17:48

getting 40 but their 40

17:51

was off the gross mine was off the net and all expenses for the album was on me

17:55

it's like i thought

17:56

we were doing this together every thing the artwork printing it all of that all

18:00

of those expenses came

18:01

to me and in the end that's 60 40 60 uh net 40 gross they made way more money

18:07

than i did

18:09

it's just how they knew like oh okay well i'm getting six dollars on every 10

18:12

yeah plus the but

18:13

anything it's just hilarious that they would come up to you and tell you that

18:17

we did some deals with

18:18

some other comics dude i got in business one time to make this tv show and the

18:22

guys sends this the the

18:24

bill for the whole thing i shouldn't be saying that but this is a while ago

18:27

right the guy was going

18:28

to bill us 2500 bucks a month to use his copier machine and did you then

18:32

another i don't know 4500 bucks

18:35

uses editing that's like dude we have both of those things we don't need those

18:38

let's take that money

18:40

and put it on the screen we're trying to get this thing to go and and the guy

18:44

like he oh it's the

18:45

funniest ever he goes like i'm insulted by those questions or something like

18:48

that which is my favorite

18:50

thing ever the the the offend like the uh what is the like the the i don't know

18:55

you're a thief and

18:57

you actually have the audacity to be like taken aback like like fanning

19:01

yourself like i can't

19:02

believe you're just it's like how many shows are you charging 2500 bucks a

19:06

month to go you know

19:08

fucking use your copy machine yeah that's a lot of money that's rent for a nice

19:12

apartment

19:13

no thieves copy machine how much does it cost to use that copy machine really

19:21

first of all the copy

19:22

machine probably doesn't even cost 2500 bucks he's probably renting it yeah

19:25

probably rents it for a

19:26

couple hundred bucks a month but even to buy a copy he probably has nine shows

19:30

paying 2500

19:31

bucks a month for him to go that's it if you have like a really big one one of

19:35

those commercial

19:36

grade copy machines what does it cost 10 grand i mean how much could it cost i

19:40

mean that i i think

19:42

he's bought a couple of houses off of owning that copier machine and i just i

19:46

just love telling these

19:47

fucking stories because these are the things that you like what's great about

19:50

podcasting is you can say

19:51

this this is for every person out there who has a fucking business and you know

19:57

there's that thing

19:58

where you want to take it to the next level and then these these guys come in

20:02

and then they're

20:02

all just like yeah well hey we're gonna take a piece of it and they take a big

20:06

chunk out of it

20:07

and what they do is their risk is all the way down here yours is up here and

20:11

then somehow they just i'm

20:12

telling you like you're better you're better to sell 20 000 copies own it 100

20:18

percent than 20 million

20:19

and not own any of it because you're going to make more money that's just how

20:22

the game is played

20:23

and those guys who steal from people they they sleep very comfortably but it's

20:27

also just podcasts just

20:28

the stress of dealing with other people's eliminated just the stress of dealing

20:33

with production people

20:34

slows it down it slows it down yeah it's awful yeah i mean the only thing spot

20:40

spotify's ever done so far

20:41

is ask do you know who the first guests will be and already i'm like oh yeah

20:49

like they're gonna be who

20:49

they're gonna be you know they're gonna be great i'm gonna try to get my best

20:52

friends the funniest

20:53

people that's them justifying their desk like i can't just sit here like joe

20:58

knows what he's doing

21:00

any idea well i'd like to start a uh email chain and uh we could maybe circle

21:06

back later and uh have

21:07

a conference call and they're just trying to fill up there yeah they're just

21:11

having to use time yeah but

21:13

the spotify people have been great they literally said we don't want to do

21:15

anything we want you to just do

21:17

what you're doing just do what you're doing oh but even asking me who the guest

21:20

gonna be i was like oh

21:21

no please let this be the only question yeah i'm never available and that's

21:27

nothing though that's

21:28

nothing i mean they're great but could you imagine if you were doing that with

21:31

a network like imagine if

21:32

you were in business with abc or something like that and they were they were

21:35

helping produce your

21:36

podcast you'd have to go in for meetings you'd have to go in and sign into the

21:40

office bill you sign in

21:41

here you go and sit down and waste your afternoon having some dopey

21:44

conversation you you kind of

21:46

complain a lot when you read these letters bill um do you have to when people

21:50

are signing the emails

21:52

maybe you should be can we get a reread on the blah blah blah um what do you

21:57

think how do you feel

21:58

about product placement because we've got a got a great deal with coca-cola

22:05

look all i just wanted i just wanted to tell a few of those for younger people

22:09

out there because

22:10

it actually really bothers me that people do that to people yes it really

22:15

bothers me and i love comics

22:17

and i love seeing new comics coming up that have talent and i hate seeing them

22:21

get over so

22:22

hopefully uh people listen and they do it but they're worms man they're worms

22:28

there's a lot of worms out

22:29

there and there's a lot of worms that try to grab comics real that they're

22:33

talented but real raw and

22:34

they try to lock you up to some enormous lifetime management deal and and when

22:40

you take off and

22:41

you have something say if you're dude i remember back in the day when everyone

22:45

when when companies

22:46

were like shooting specials before comics started shooting them and the amount

22:50

of guys that got that

22:51

yeah we only got enough money for to shoot one you know to only you can only

22:55

shoot it one time but

22:56

you're gonna crush it man you got this hour down we only got enough in the

22:59

budget and then they'd show

23:00

up early and they'd be shooting another comic special off their money the deal

23:04

to double them as a

23:05

management company what they would get or or an agency the amount of times that

23:10

that happened with

23:11

the same audience oh i mean yeah yeah oh you want to hear the best one i ever

23:14

heard jim brewer was

23:16

filming a special sold out this theater and the the people that were filming

23:20

the special told him that the

23:22

money for the ticket sales was theirs because it was all about the production

23:27

because the money that

23:29

people are paying for the production he's like the are you talking about this

23:34

is my audience like that's

23:36

my money his management tried to steal the money from ticket sales and say that

23:41

it went towards production

23:45

went all the way to court with it his manager's on the way to court has a panic

23:49

attack goes to the

23:50

hospital like the whole thing's a nightmare i think he won yeah of course he

23:56

won yeah he won well it's

23:57

thievery it's thievery like these are tick people are paying to see i have i

24:03

have a million

24:05

of those stories but this is the thing this is what kills me about a lot of

24:10

this this rhetoric that's

24:13

going on out there which i agree with 90 of it but if you if you agree with 100

24:18

of it like you and

24:19

i are not supposed to be having stories like this we're supposed to be the ones

24:22

doing it and it's just

24:24

like you have to like as far as the uh the whole you know oh you're a white

24:29

male heterosexual you know

24:30

doors just fly open and people like hey what are your dream they like i'm not

24:34

saying and i'm not

24:36

obviously not bitching but i'm just saying that like like people will you it's

24:42

all

24:42

about money they don't they don't give a and they and they all those people

24:46

that do that really

24:47

yeah so there's a long history of hollywood accounting there's a long history

24:52

of that

24:52

i mean there's been so many stories about people who made killer hit movies and

24:56

never got paid

24:57

because hollywood's like look you know we have this much had to go to

25:00

advertising and this is the

25:02

production look how bad elvis got oh yeah elvis got so bad and then one of the

25:07

main ways he got on

25:08

the road he only did one out of the country date i believe he did toronto and

25:12

he never traveled the

25:14

world because his manager had something going on with his visa and he was

25:17

worried if he left he

25:18

wouldn't be able to come back so that kind of like kept elvis out of a ton of

25:23

money and seeing the

25:24

world or whatever the he might have wanted to do keep doing these movies elvis

25:29

you want to go on the

25:30

road that is hilarious well you know the best version of breaking down how

25:35

corrupt the music business is

25:37

was by courtney love they said she had a ghostwriter i don't know but she did

25:41

but it was it's a it's a

25:42

great article that she wrote documenting exactly how much you get paid versus

25:47

how much money gets

25:49

generated and where it all goes and how they you yeah no it's it's they've

25:54

always done it that way

25:55

i mean that's that's always the way they've done it that's the answer young

25:59

people that's the answer

26:00

to it is well i mean that's how that's how it's done so whatever i don't want

26:04

to sit here

26:04

bitching the whole time are you done i quit but i i smoke like one or two uh a

26:10

month

26:13

oh god damn it joe oh i got these from mike binder they're good what yes oh

26:19

look at that

26:20

well i guess i didn't quit today did i

26:23

come on billy fun are we doing this yes let's do it all right come on we got to

26:31

celebrate you

26:31

had a kid yeah i have to there you go it's my birthday yesterday oh that's

26:35

right happy birthday thank

26:37

you you're 38 again 52 brother holy shit that's me too 52 pickup isn't that a

26:43

weird number like you

26:44

like you say it it doesn't seem real well i think in your 50s nothing matters

26:48

until the odometer flips

26:50

to 60 and then you're just like yeah i know 60 guys in their 60s they're gonna

26:54

cut in there yeah sorry

26:56

guys in their 60s is this the ted nugent one look at this with the fucking that's

26:59

a serious one that's

27:00

from uh uh benchmade knives it's a awesome knife company they gave me a good uh

27:06

cigar cutter

27:07

you sound like bill murray in what about bob which i just watched the other day

27:16

you know

27:16

when he's a great movie that's a perfect movie oh when he's eating we did a

27:25

family movie night

27:28

basically every day of the pandemic it was uh

27:31

first couple of uh first couple of months basically every night we watched a

27:39

new movie

27:40

watch every single adam sandler movie watch groundhog day again i forgot how

27:44

good groundhog day was

27:50

these are delicious shout out to mike minder yeah they're very good

27:55

anyway anyway but podcasting is yes look it's a great business i mean i started

28:06

off because i was

28:06

kind of depressed because i had to move here from uh move back here from colorado

28:09

i thought i had escaped

28:11

i thought i was gone i was like i'm out l.a i can't take this crowds and

28:15

everything i want peace and i

28:17

want the wilderness i live in the mountains i remember that and then you had to

28:20

like have

28:21

a glock when you went out to go get your mail so you would get eaten by a

28:24

fucking bobcat or something

28:25

mountain lion yeah yeah yeah i saw one in the yard like that's uh that could be

28:29

an issue

28:30

i know that's basically a middleweight tiger

28:36

it's a welterweight welterweight 150 pounds 147 welterweight tiger

28:41

welterweight boxing at least welterweight mma is 170. yeah yeah it's a weird

28:49

animal to see in the

28:50

woods too because you know if that thing runs at you like you literally have no

28:53

chance they're scared

28:54

of you though they don't want nothing to do with you for the most part if they

28:57

if they're really hungry

28:58

and really old they'll you up that's why i i i try to tell you know my wife

29:04

when i whenever you're

29:05

outside i'm like mama bear is next to the cub always always i go there's coyotes

29:09

and they're

29:10

getting bold because everyone was inside yeah and they come down every night

29:13

looking for a little

29:14

dog or a little cat you hear that going down in the hills everyone be like you

29:20

know once

29:21

two white suites you just hear which is basically the dog like what the is that

29:26

you know

29:26

brutal yeah it's gross it's scary because a little little cleanup crew goes

29:32

around and catches animals

29:33

slipping in the backyard yeah i don't understand people let little dogs out

29:39

because those coyotes

29:40

they'll figure out a way in oh yeah well they're very smart they they you know

29:44

they have to survive

29:45

they figure out a way yeah little creepy fucks yeah they are a little creepy

29:50

fucks all right they're

29:50

everywhere can i every city can i promote this uh movie f is for family too f

29:54

is for family season four

29:56

it's coming out tomorrow tomorrow i got two big things coming out and then that's

30:01

it i'm dried up

30:02

because everybody in interviews what what's next for you after these two things

30:05

that's it it's it's

30:05

it's the pandemic i'm gonna start going on the road at all um you're opening up

30:11

yeah i'm gonna see how

30:12

you guys do you know who comes back with a cough i'll let you guys walk towards

30:17

the atom bomb that

30:18

they just i mean i got a little one at home so i'm i think i'm gonna chill

30:22

until like september unless

30:24

it's just wide open um by chill i mean if if things go well i'm gonna uh i'm

30:29

gonna try to do some shows

30:31

at the troubadour because i know that they're hurting and that's one of my

30:33

favorite venues all

30:34

these bands that i love have played there troubadour on santa monica yeah so

30:37

they're kind of they they're

30:38

in you know they're in a bad way because of this so i'm gonna try to do a

30:42

little run of shows down

30:43

there you know are they available you can do that not available yet but when

30:47

they are available i'm

30:48

gonna try to do like a three night thing down there you know work for free get

30:52

the rust off have people

30:54

pay for tickets buy a bunch of booze and some troubadour t-shirts and keep that

30:57

place going man

30:58

that's great yeah i'll do that yeah well i'll do that too let's do it i'll do

31:03

it yeah that sounds

31:04

like fun yeah i went there uh twice this year i saw everlast there and i saw sturgill

31:08

simpson yeah

31:09

and steve steve martin opened for richard prior there wow i read this great steve

31:13

martin article

31:14

where he was talking about uh opening for him there so it also has like some

31:18

comedy history there

31:20

well when i was there i was saying this is a perfect venue for comedy it's like

31:23

500 seats

31:24

it's awesome it's got a balcony it could be a great place for stand-up yeah it's

31:29

the stores need the

31:30

store needs help too everybody needs help improv needs help well i know the

31:34

stores get once they can open up i know they're gonna be fine so uh because i'm

31:39

gonna be down

31:40

there all the time anyway yeah um so as far as um i think between now and september

31:46

if they start

31:47

opening things up there's a bunch of little theaters that are around um that i

31:51

would just you

31:52

know pop in and do a night like i said just work for free have the people pay

31:56

you know whatever for

31:57

some tickets and buy whatever they're selling there you know knock the rest off

32:00

yeah you know because i'm

32:02

not gonna have people pay full price i mean i haven't taken this amount of time

32:05

off since i started

32:07

yeah you know i'm like my last gig was uh march 10th the dean delray bon scott

32:13

tribute dude you should

32:14

have come down for that man i couldn't i had another thing how to do it looked

32:17

like a lot of fun dean

32:18

and we had a great comedy she's got a crazy voice he does it really sneaks up

32:25

on you because they'll

32:26

sing in the car you like but then you see him when he's with the band and and

32:29

go the microphone and

32:30

everything ah when that video that you guys put on instagram or him singing a

32:33

whole lot of rosie i was

32:34

like holy he's really good well he did it for like 15 20 years you could tell

32:41

yeah yeah i mean

32:42

he's legit yeah yeah that was a good time and then it was over and then it was

32:49

over yeah strange

32:51

yeah i got some gigs lined up i'm gonna announce them next week but uh i'm

32:56

gonna i'm just gonna hit

32:58

the road do some clubs knock the rust off it looks like the store is uh not

33:03

listed as a bar

33:04

it's listed as an entertainment a live entertainment venue uh because they're

33:08

opening up bars and

33:10

restaurants and all these different things and the store they kind of they

33:14

tried to label it as a

33:15

nightclub but uh peter shore is like it's like it's not a nightclub no one's no

33:18

one's milling around

33:20

you stay you sit down you go in and sit down it's more like right it's more so

33:23

what do they need to be

33:25

classified as to open up well they need a different distinction for comedy

33:28

clubs they don't really

33:29

have one and you know there's a good argument a real good argument that comedy

33:32

club should be

33:33

some sort of an essential business because people need to blow off some steam

33:36

it feels good it's

33:37

really good for you look if i was a a guy working a regular job and i was used

33:41

to going to the store

33:42

every couple months uh knock some you know knock some laughs into me i mean i'd

33:46

be

33:46

fucking chomping at the bit to go see some comedy right now oh i think they're

33:50

gonna be packed i

33:51

remember i was in new york you know uh during 9 11 and i was like is anything

33:55

ever going to be funny

33:56

again and it was like a you know like a two-week lull and then they were just

34:01

packed yeah yeah it was

34:03

actually became almost like a second like boom or whatever um way back in the

34:09

day i'm worried about

34:10

a second wave of the corona i'm worried about them locking things down someone's

34:14

got to step in and stop

34:14

them from doing that next next wave you guys got to be proactive you got to do

34:18

something about people's

34:19

immune systems you got to lock down old people and sick people let regular

34:24

people do whatever the

34:24

they want you can't you can't just lock people's freedom down for something

34:29

that killed a small

34:31

fraction of what you thought it was going to kill the whole thing is it's just

34:35

creepy to have

34:36

guys like mayor garcetti be in charge of telling people whether or not they get

34:40

to work like that's

34:42

not what a governor is supposed to be that's not what they're trying but they're

34:46

they're trying to

34:47

look out for your best interest and trying to get 400 million people to all

34:51

pull in the same direction

34:52

it's it's you can't get 40 comics to pull in the same direction so like they

34:56

have like an impossible

34:57

they did and they didn't there was those people right the whole time there's

35:02

been

35:03

fucking assholes on my street walking around no masks you know not quarantining

35:08

like the people

35:09

that come by the houses you see the fucking you know the same people that were

35:12

going in and out of

35:13

the house who are not part of their family still going in and out of the house

35:15

you want people to

35:16

walk down the street with a mask on let's not start this job do you though let's

35:19

not start this

35:20

okay let's start i don't want to start this bullshit i'm not going to sit here

35:23

with no medical degree

35:25

listening to you with no medical degree with an american flag behind you

35:28

smoking a cigar acting like

35:30

we know what's up better than the cdc all i do is i listen i watch the news

35:34

once every two weeks i'm

35:35

like mask or no mess still mask all right mask that's all i give a fuck about i

35:39

don't care but even they

35:40

say you shouldn't wear a mask unless you're treating a coronavirus patient the

35:43

world health

35:44

organization yeah but they didn't say that initial they didn't say it initially

35:46

no they didn't they

35:47

did and then gradually then and then everybody wore the fucking masks this is

35:51

like rollerblading

35:52

everybody fucking rollerbladed and then there was that one fucking homophobic

35:55

joke and then everybody

35:56

acted like they never did it and then a hundred million fucking rollerblades

36:00

got thrown into the

36:01

fucking ocean we all wore masks and then all of a sudden people are fucking

36:05

sitting there what you don't

36:06

have the body type for dude your fucking knuckles would scrape on the ground

36:09

even with that extra two

36:11

inches i just love how wearing a mask became like this fucking like soft thing

36:19

that you were doing like

36:20

being courteous being courteous why is it for bitches that was so stupid first

36:26

of all oh god you're so

36:28

tough with your fucking open nose and throat gee joe and your five o'clock

36:31

shadow this is a man right here

36:33

a man doesn't wear a mask why does it always become like that it's always like

36:39

the man versus the

36:40

bitch that's what men do we make fun of things anything anything that uh seems

36:45

like you're not

36:46

taking chances right that's what i don't have a problem with that unless you

36:50

were already wearing

36:51

the mask and then you're acting like you didn't and all of a sudden people

36:54

watch your thing and then they

36:56

all pile up oh look at this bitch wearing the mask it's like you were fucking

36:59

doing it two weeks ago well i was

37:01

scared out of my mind in the beginning in the beginning like when the first

37:05

when when everybody's

37:06

shutting down the beginning and people are stockpiling food i was convinced i

37:09

was like jesus christ dude

37:11

you have like nine elk in your basement you were you were the one person i knew

37:14

was fine tom papa's

37:15

making bread plenty i knew i knew he was worried about i was worried about

37:18

people i knew getting really

37:19

sick and dying and then i was convinced that i had it at one point time i was

37:22

like god i do feel like i'm

37:24

breathing heavy i felt like my breath is some like my breath is coming short i

37:29

did i did i had like

37:32

psychosomatic issues thinking about it i got over it though i got over it guy

37:37

had a panic attack

37:39

sitting on 12 elk you had a panic attack and then you felt bad about yourself

37:45

and then you attack

37:46

people with masks that's how it works and that's how the hatred starts and that's

37:49

right now why seven

37:50

blocks to seattle you can't go now and get yourself i'm gonna go and i'm gonna

37:55

drop off free food for

37:56

those folks those fine protesters there's a major american city where seven

38:00

blocks the people have

38:01

took over it and i had no idea what you were talking about so that's great

38:04

anything that i said i don't

38:06

watch it i envy you at all i envy that that you just do that you just shut

38:10

everything down me i every

38:12

day i check what part of the world's on fire i don't like hysteria i don't like

38:16

making decisions

38:17

with hysteria and i like i i when i first became a dad the hysteria of other

38:23

parents i would just

38:26

i would be looking at them but i wasn't listening because that's all that's

38:30

what was the tone of

38:31

everything was saying you know better get some sleep now and you'd be like and

38:35

then anytime you

38:36

say anything positive about your kid how old's your kid seven weeks oh yeah how

38:40

is ah she's great

38:41

she's great oh oh wait till seven and a half weeks it's like it's like dude

38:46

maybe you suck at it

38:48

yeah how about that yeah you're sitting there with your legs trembling right

38:52

all nervous and

38:53

shit yeah i i don't i don't like you know i'm already in the head i'm already

38:59

in the head

39:00

i don't need 24-hour news network like who's that guy on fox news i always joke

39:04

with nio tucker

39:05

he's got great hair but horrible points like if his points were as good as his

39:09

hair which guy he looks

39:11

like a kennedy i mean he's just he is the white guy's white guy he was talking

39:15

about black people

39:17

going and when they come for you and they will they're gonna you know it's just

39:20

like what are you

39:21

fucking talking hannity i don't know who he is no it's not hannity hannity was

39:25

the guy who they they

39:26

put with that fucking that that like rooster at the end a chick in the end of

39:30

his life looking guy

39:31

like here's your liberal dude and all my relatives who are conservative like i

39:36

mean look at him i mean

39:37

he's so meek it's like this thing is cast like a show yeah who was that guy

39:41

that he was with hennany

39:43

and combs remember he and combs and the one guy looked like he was on death's

39:46

door and he was the

39:47

liberal he was gray yeah he was great the other guy looked like a football hero

39:51

astronaut with the

39:52

square jaw face nice head of hair the other guy with the little glasses he

39:56

looked like mr burns right

39:58

yes and he had no spine he had no he wasn't strong arguer i was he was there he

40:05

was he was the

40:05

washington generals and the other guy was the globetrotters conservative point

40:13

and then you put on cnn and you got all those fucking nitwits with the

40:17

situation room and all

40:18

of that how about this brother this is why i wish that there was a comedy club

40:23

because there's a bit

40:24

that's already come and gone was what i loved was when uh uh colin kaepernick

40:30

when he was taking a knee

40:32

right all the liberals were just like well hey man it's just like his opinion

40:37

man you need you wait

40:38

this is a time to listen man and then everybody on the right's like shut the up

40:43

and play

40:43

football you piece of don't disrespect the flag right and then drew breeze

40:47

tweets something

40:49

conservative and then all of a sudden everybody on the right's like hey man

40:53

this is just like his

40:54

opinion man and then everybody on the left's like you racist piece of i'm gonna

40:57

cancel you

40:58

they literally do this everybody believes in like freedom of speech as long as

41:02

you're

41:03

saying what they want to hear it's basically and that's why i hate both of

41:07

those news channels

41:08

yeah i i i actually very divisive it makes my blood boil when i walk into a

41:14

house

41:15

with people i know and if they're watching cnn or fox like i can't get past the

41:20

like when people

41:21

watch like the kardashians it's like why would you do that to your brain

41:27

it is what it's like i mean it's very toxic it's very toxic both sides and they

41:34

they never see any

41:35

good points that the other side is making and every video on the internet

41:39

starts after the thing

41:40

happened and it's like you're always like it's like you're getting eight

41:46

episodes in

41:47

and you're like what the it's like you don't know what's like if you watch the

41:51

last scene of jaws

41:52

you're like why the did he kill that shark there's enough sharks dying out

41:58

there you didn't see that

42:00

this thing was specifically targeting human beings and he needed to do this

42:03

right how does that relate

42:06

to the news i'm saying when you watch the news people don't like they they're

42:11

not filming what leads

42:13

up to whatever fucking confrontation happens okay so you're getting a very skewed

42:18

you don't know what

42:20

happens you know what what what they're saying happens could be what happened

42:25

or a bunch of other

42:26

shit i i don't i don't understand how i'm supposed to watch something you know

42:32

like this there's obviously

42:33

obvious shit like that shit minneapolis was the most obvious shit ever that guy's

42:37

a murderer and those

42:37

other three guys sat around and just watched him fucking do it when guys

42:40

calling out i can't breathe

42:42

and all of this shit and calling out for his mother was fucking sickening that

42:44

guy's a monster had the

42:45

audacity to have a shocked look on his fucking face that guy's terrible right

42:49

but like what i'm saying

42:50

is that thing had all of this you kind of got the whole fucking thing when they

42:55

came up you had the

42:56

whole thing there's so many other and i'm not just i'm not talking about cop

42:59

stuff i'm just talking

43:00

about anything taking a little piece of somebody's stand-up routine or a

43:06

politician says this or voted he

43:09

voted no on this and what it is is the shit that all it's usually the shit that

43:13

was attached to it

43:14

which is something i don't understand with politics like why can't you just

43:18

vote on what you're voting

43:19

on like should we have clean water yes we should and then like the that's

43:23

attached to it but we can

43:25

still dump toxic in here and then when the guy goes to or the woman goes to run

43:29

it's like oh this this

43:31

person voted against the clean water act this is your tree hugger i'm joe blow

43:36

and i approve of this

43:37

message well here's here's a good version of that remember the covington school

43:40

case there was the

43:41

the kid had a maga hat on and the native american was uh beating the drums the

43:45

kid was smiling looking

43:46

at him and they took it pretending that this kid walked up to this native

43:49

american beating the drums

43:51

and was smiling in his face and mocking him what really happened is these kids

43:54

were on a field trip

43:56

for high school they're selling maga hats the kids are 16 they're being jerk-offs

44:00

they buy these hats

44:02

and put them on they're just having fun right very little supervision while

44:05

they're there these native

44:07

americans are beating their drums and this guy walks up to the kid and gets in

44:11

the kid's face and is

44:12

beating the drum now cnn all these people went with this narrative these kids

44:15

were mocking them the kid

44:17

just stood there smiling while this native american got in his face but the

44:20

photo it's disturbing that

44:22

those you know there used to be rules on ownership of media yeah i think what

44:27

way back in the day

44:27

was like a rule of sevens like no one person could own seven okay any

44:31

combination of radio tv because

44:32

you can literally influence public opinion and that's why like i've watched and

44:37

i dude 12 years ago i went

44:39

down the federal reserve rabbit hole i became a the guy you didn't want to talk

44:43

to about the federal

44:44

reserve all of that shit the private thing it's not is this federal is the

44:47

federal express i went down

44:48

island yeah all of that shit and like watching p i just and i just feel like in

44:55

the last i don't know

44:56

how many years where it's just all of a sudden they stopped being just sort of

45:00

everything they were

45:01

i think reporting was always perverted to some level um and now it's just it's

45:06

just you're sort of

45:07

watching like op-ed pieces so i don't know this is somebody who doesn't watch

45:10

anything and reads like

45:12

you know autobiographies of football players in the 1950s so on this covington

45:17

school kid case they

45:18

sued the kids sued and won they you know the cnn paid him out to be a monster

45:22

they were getting death

45:23

threats and did they did cnn uh issue a retraction i don't know what they did

45:28

but they paid him i don't

45:31

i don't know what they but that's why i don't i don't like either one of those

45:34

channels because of

45:35

that and it causes i think rational people like that guy the guy the fat dude

45:40

on the bicycle suit

45:41

ripping those pieces of paper are those girls hands oh yeah jesus yeah that guy

45:47

that is the result i

45:48

think of watching one of those channels 24 7 and then going on facebook and

45:52

writing in capital letters

45:54

could you imagine if you were there watching that guy rip paces pieces of paper

45:57

out of a little girl's

45:58

hand like that that he didn't even know yelling and are running up to her where

46:01

the mother is yelling you

46:02

stop touching her get your hands off her i would have oh that was a mom i

46:06

thought that was a friend

46:08

whoever that was it sounded like a woman it sounded like a woman yelling

46:12

because he was a little girl

46:13

he was doing everything but growling yeah and then because then it gets to the

46:17

point of like what is

46:18

in your head that you're trying to defend like what that's a guy but then

46:23

everybody vilifies the guy

46:25

which i would rather sit down and talk to that guy and be like let me ask you

46:28

this when you watch that

46:30

you know floyd video like what is it that you see because just yelling at

46:36

somebody cancel him and

46:37

making him lose his job you're just going to make the guy even more angry and

46:41

he probably has grandkids

46:42

that he's going to fill their head before before he dies so what's the solution

46:46

sit down and talk to

46:47

him i think that should be part of it like buddy let's just sit down for a

46:52

second you were on a bicycle

46:55

you wanted to burn some calories you're obviously into it by the way you're

46:58

dressed okay

46:59

you're enjoying america's great parks right you come across these kids you know

47:09

do you like kids

47:10

have you ever attacked a kid before they're just putting a piece of paper up

47:14

with the point of view like what what do you think led up to that level of a

47:21

response because i have to

47:22

be honest like we've all snapped and done i would like to think i have and

47:27

afterwards i'd be like

47:28

what the why did i argue that why did i say that why did i do that and the only

47:33

way to uh kind of

47:36

prevent from you being a fucking again is you have to kind of walk back and

47:40

look at it right so

47:42

going at the guy which i totally understand because it was it was so bad it was

47:48

almost comical because he

47:49

was a borderline growling at them and uh you know it was really bad he didn't

47:53

even get the paper from

47:54

the girl he grabs the girl the girl clenched her fist down and held onto the

47:58

paper my favorite part

48:00

was the sound of his the bottom of his shoes that clip into the pedals he

48:04

sounded like a little show

48:07

pony he was trying to growl like a tiger and he sounded like my pretty pony

48:12

like somebody should have been

48:14

uh combing his hair so and i was sitting there going look at this crazy old guy

48:19

and uh okay but i don't know how i didn't think how old i thought he was but

48:25

then he was like 60 i was

48:26

like this guy's like only eight years older than me so he graduated high school

48:29

like eight years before

48:30

me so like this guy is almost part of my generation like what experiences did

48:34

he have that he

48:37

looks at this whole thing like um you know i mean i'm not that that that thing

48:44

saying all cops are

48:45

like those guys it's like no it's like you have to get those guys off of the

48:49

force that's what i think

48:52

so um i just don't understand like and that was my understanding what they were

48:58

putting up there was

48:59

specific to the minneapolis case so my thing is as a human being how could you

49:04

have issue with somebody

49:06

trying to put something up you know honoring that guy or something positive

49:12

about that like that's

49:13

what i was confused i don't know what she put up i'm not sure what she put up

49:16

it was definitely

49:17

about the george floyd protest you know maybe that's a great point i couldn't

49:22

see what was written

49:23

on the paper and i just i filled that in when i watched it but i really couldn't

49:27

get over the

49:28

sound of the shoes though it was really funny and when he started walking

49:33

faster with the bike

49:35

it was almost like a great movie trailer for a horror film yeah no but could

49:40

you imagine the 60

49:41

year old fat bike rider imagine if that was your daughter so i'm a project your

49:44

daughter you're

49:45

sitting there and that guy runs up to your daughter and he's grabbing the paper

49:49

out of her hand he's

49:50

running at her grabbing the paper while a woman's screaming at him to not touch

49:55

her don't you touch

49:57

her yeah i mean imagine yeah i mean there's only one response as a father yeah

50:04

murder yeah yeah i

50:07

don't like murder no what do you like maim i want him to remember that he did

50:13

it that's interesting

50:18

that's another level start with the blown out acl and you go from there yeah

50:22

beat him with his stupid

50:23

shoe why do people wear i actually if i actually had to look up why people wore

50:27

those shoes they clip

50:28

in i know they do but i'm like what is the advantage of that is there an

50:31

advantage yeah i think i think

50:33

it's when when you're coming up this way oh you can you can still pull with

50:37

your legs so you're getting

50:38

more of an efficient oh that makes motion this guy's really this guy's really

50:43

into uh biking and not

50:45

putting paper on trees don't put their dead relatives in their faces just a man

50:51

that would run up to a

50:52

little girl like that and grab her grab paper out of her hand there he is click

50:57

click click that's

50:59

before but that's before he grabs her jamie yeah back it up from the beginning

51:03

because this is now as

51:04

far as you with your martial art background you got to be impressed with the

51:07

way he's using his bike

51:08

there no he's sort of like trying to be a little herd bicyclists in maryland to

51:12

caught on what does it

51:13

say rewind it see right there that's where a bison was caught on video earlier

51:20

attacking teenagers

51:21

who were posting flyers is that a teenager it's a little girl is that really a

51:25

teenager she might be 13.

51:28

he just runs up to her he's yelling at her i mean look he's towering oh my god

51:32

look at her though good

51:33

for her she yeah see that's i think i don't know if that's a woman or her

51:36

friend but that girl's got balls

51:39

or ovaries i like the little skip step too like a cornerback well he's running

51:44

at the guy with the camera

51:45

and knocks him over the man achieves his goal okay as much as you don't approve

51:50

of what he's doing

51:51

he achieved his goal no she's still got the paper i'm just i'm joking he

51:55

grabbed her arm whatever

51:57

happened to that guy he got charged three charges i don't know but they're

52:00

promoting my movie right

52:01

there look at that king of staten island what are the odds on demand everywhere

52:05

friday you know i would

52:09

be in the news with a big old orange jumpsuit on if that was happening to my

52:15

daughter oh my god be a

52:18

real problem if i caught someone doing that you would be like a badger on that

52:24

your biggest problem would be what do i use

52:29

i almost think for half a second like you would be you know the elbow what do i

52:38

do

52:38

choke him what do i do that spinning heel kick i saw you do i if you ever hit

52:42

me with that i have

52:43

to learn how to talk again yeah yeah joe it didn't happen it didn't happen to

52:48

your daughter

52:48

right you just went to a dark place there i go there all the time bill it's a

52:54

real problem with

52:55

i know i do too i go there all the time i do think getting uh talking about all

52:58

these protests i think

52:59

something really positive is going to come out of this because the fact that so

53:02

many white people

53:02

are also pro and getting involved in it and so many cops were vocal saying you

53:07

know they shouldn't do

53:08

that so i think something good is going to come out of this i just agree more i

53:12

really do i do and i hope so

53:14

too because it's it it's been wrong for way too long and i also hope that uh

53:20

that a bunch of other groups don't use this as a piggyback thing

53:24

to then do some other shit which will then escalate will make people who want

53:31

things to

53:31

stay the same they'll be able to shift focus

53:34

of like you know like how they try to make like the protesters and the rioters

53:38

like the looters the

53:39

same people right right where it's just yeah there's only yeah you you did that

53:43

and then at night you

53:43

did this no yeah the way that so i don't know they're gonna do it anyways i

53:47

think there's the once

53:49

the looting died down you're seeing peaceful protests that are very encouraging

53:52

i think it's great i

53:54

i really do i mean that downtown la one was amazing 50 000 people filled the

53:58

streets and no crime or

54:01

very little nothing i heard of it was just mostly people chanting and holding

54:05

signs yeah it looked

54:06

promising look they gotta the the thing that disturbs me is this idea that they

54:11

should defund the police

54:13

you can't get rid of the police what you need to do is spend more money and

54:17

train them better and high

54:18

have higher standards and do it the way you do the military where it's very

54:22

difficult to get in

54:23

and you weed people out that are weak like that guy was a pussy that guy

54:27

leaning on that guy's neck

54:28

like that that guy's a monster there's no way that guy because he knew he was

54:31

being filmed too and

54:32

he just had no yeah i mean that's like hands in his pockets like he was just

54:38

you know waiting for

54:39

an uber or something like that makes you think yeah he's a monster yeah and

54:43

that guy had been doing

54:43

that forever you know there there's new evidence that they worked together and

54:48

they fought they they

54:49

argued about the way that cop was treating the customers they worked together

54:53

at security at the

54:54

same club and that cop was a fucking asshole to people at the club and they

54:59

argued about it so they

55:00

had a personal issue and there's some people that wanted to be elevated to

55:04

first degree murder because

55:06

of that that he did it on purpose that he knew he knew that guy oh man i mean

55:11

it's just yeah they

55:12

argued when they worked together apparently one of the guys that worked with

55:15

them said that george floyd

55:17

was always telling that guy he's a fucking asshole the way he treats customers

55:21

because he would mace

55:22

people and shit that kind of stuff pepper spray folks he just was the first guy

55:26

to use violence

55:27

right away yes escalate this he had a history of complaints back to 2006 my

55:32

friend joe shilling the

55:33

kickbox i'm talking about him again but his fucking page is the most disturbing

55:37

page right now

55:38

because all he's done over the last five six days is post videos of police

55:42

brutality and it's police

55:45

brutality on black women white women white old men black old men young guys oh

55:53

it's just police brutality

55:55

over and over and over and over again there's a problem of racism in this

55:58

country for sure

55:59

there's also a real problem with people that have the kind of power that cops

56:04

have that are weak people

56:05

that are that are sociopaths and that's that's as much of a problem as any of

56:09

this yeah yeah you

56:11

attack the racism onto it and you got a horrible situation but those people are

56:14

psychopaths they're

56:14

they're monsters that guy who did that you know this reminds me a long time ago

56:18

like i'm talking to a security guy and he said the best guys are the guys that

56:23

that

56:24

they de-escalated yeah he goes you don't because this guy used to put together

56:28

crews of guys to uh

56:29

i think it was like rock concerts and stuff and he said you didn't want to get

56:32

guys that wanted to

56:35

fight you didn't want to have those guys because those guys would be a headache

56:39

and every night there

56:39

was going to be something and there was going to be lawsuits like what what you

56:43

what he was saying

56:44

you ultimately wanted was nothing to happen yeah so um i remember because i was

56:51

joking with him i remember

56:53

a long time ago the grill 93 this old dick dority room i remember that joint so

56:58

two guys were about

56:59

ready to go at it in the club and the bouncer gets him outside okay and this

57:03

guy's trying to say his

57:05

point of view and he put his hand on his shoulder he goes he goes uh he goes no

57:08

all i was trying to do

57:10

he barely barely went like that on his shirt and he goes okay first of all don't

57:13

touch me that's what the

57:14

bouncer said and just immediately it was here and then it became then it went

57:17

to here and then those

57:18

two guys started yelling at each other and then within i don't know what the

57:21

fuck he just twisted

57:22

the guy up and took him out and i forget who the fuck i was with we were

57:27

fucking dying laughing

57:28

it just became a catchphrase between us so he would come up hey bill you're

57:32

working this weekend

57:33

okay first of all don't touch me just you just you immediately just escalate it

57:37

where it just

57:38

becomes a what the fuck and then first of all don't touch me from 90 of guys

57:43

is immediately going to put you in your ego where it's like oh fuck now now he's

57:47

on top of me and

57:48

i'm the i gotta i gotta at least get a little get at his eyebrow level i have

57:53

to come back with

57:53

something else it was inevitable the second he said that first of all don't

57:57

touch me i did like the

57:58

three slide steps down because i learned that young watching fights you know

58:03

you don't want to have a

58:04

really good seat because it's like a tornado you don't know where it's gonna go

58:07

and you think you

58:08

think you're like 20 feet away i had that meant me at a bruins game the old boston

58:14

garden and it was

58:15

like one of those you know just everybody smoking you probably couldn't smoke

58:18

in the garden at that

58:19

point but i just remember like like smoky bars and so we went in there and

58:22

everybody was hammered i was

58:23

hammered drinking like heff and reference remember the green death right like

58:26

dude this is like six

58:27

percent alcohol so um some like one of those two rows of fans fighting which is

58:32

always great because

58:34

like the people that are a row up are just throwing down these guys getting

58:37

pounded there's always a

58:38

loafer laying there right uh mike milbury picking it up so i remember the cops

58:44

ran up there and i ran

58:45

up two to watch the fight and they started grabbing guys and coming down the

58:49

stairs and it was the boston

58:51

guard and there was nowhere to go and i just remember this big cop bounding

58:55

down the stairs he

58:56

literally had a handful of this guy's neck it was like his whole neck and his

58:59

jugular and this guy was

59:01

i just remember he was going try to try to push me down the stairs try to push

59:06

me down the stairs and

59:07

he came down like and i was trying to get out of the way and i figured i think

59:10

the guy who he had grabbed

59:11

like his knee hit me in the back you know i just i just got caught by the

59:15

debris of this guy running

59:17

by and that's when i kind of learned like uh you know when to how to watch your

59:21

fight which you watch

59:22

your fight and you're looking at your exits because like i said it's like you

59:24

don't know where it's

59:25

going to go and uh i learned that lesson so when i saw that guy say that uh

59:29

first of all don't touch

59:30

me i was just like okay sliding over here let some other people settle in in

59:34

front of me i can do i like

59:36

them when that yeah that's the same as if yeah you want to be above slightly

59:40

above looking down at

59:41

and all the altercations you get a better viewpoint there anyway yeah i suck at

59:46

it dude i i stopped

59:48

fighting in like junior high that was it i just i knew i i mean i just knew i

59:52

was like this is not

59:54

my thing i can't slip a punch i am slow as shit i got a big head i got a huge

1:00:00

target

1:00:01

this is not gonna go three rounds it's just not um i fought up until like six

1:00:07

around sixth grade i think

1:00:09

i probably had my last one and then all of a sudden kids started to get 120 130

1:00:14

140 pounds and they

1:00:15

started being blood and and people missing a couple days of school after a beat

1:00:20

down i was just like

1:00:21

you know what okay i think i'll be the funny guy

1:00:23

it's weird how things go sideways like that when there's a there's like a

1:00:30

feeling in the air

1:00:31

when whenever chaos breaks out like that and there's a real melee there's a

1:00:35

feeling in the air like

1:00:36

it's just like you you feel it it's like oh this is nuts like this is this is

1:00:40

really dangerous yeah

1:00:41

there's a a a mob mentality feeling that you get that's real weird when things

1:00:46

go crazy i i remember

1:00:48

it took me uh having to leave boston for about seven years i was gone for seven

1:00:53

years before i finally

1:00:54

walked into a bar and just felt the normal energy but i think the city's

1:00:58

changed a lot but like that

1:01:00

sort of that tail end of the the craziness i walked into a bar and you could

1:01:04

just feel it it's like

1:01:05

somebody's gonna get suckered like yeah not now it's about 90 minutes away you

1:01:09

could just feel the

1:01:10

level of drunkness the the energy well guys would go out looking for fights

1:01:16

some guys would go out

1:01:16

looking for fights yeah i knew this guy i used to train with mike blythe he

1:01:20

used to work at the rat

1:01:21

scale he was a bouncer he would go he would wrap his hands he would wrap his

1:01:25

hands on his way to work

1:01:26

i knew a guy i knew a guy tape his wrists and i knew a guy who was a bouncer

1:01:33

and he used to bring

1:01:33

a mouthpiece oh yeah to uh to work but he used to carry it all the time and i

1:01:38

remember when he would

1:01:39

get to when he would get in a fight he would it was something where he would it

1:01:43

was a mouth

1:01:43

guy who'd bite down it wasn't like what you guys wear but it was totally psyched

1:01:47

the other guy out

1:01:48

like he would come out and he would just put this thing in and the guy be like

1:01:51

this guy brought

1:01:51

equipment like what the is going on here and i remember one time he got he got

1:01:58

suckered he knew

1:01:59

it was gonna be a fight and i figured well for some dumb reason he sat down on

1:02:02

the stairs and the guy

1:02:03

was standing above him and one of his friends jumped down and just punched him

1:02:07

and i saw the mouthpiece

1:02:08

it was like buster douglas tyson i saw his mouthpiece fly towards us and then

1:02:13

just i shouldn't tell these

1:02:15

stories because why i don't know because i you know it's my version of what it

1:02:20

was a long long like

1:02:21

you're not naming names it was like 30 years ago and what happened was we were

1:02:25

in an off-campus apartment and i can't believe i'm gonna tell this story i'm

1:02:32

gonna tell the quick

1:02:33

version uh tell the whole version no two of my buddies left to go upstairs it

1:02:40

was one of those

1:02:41

you know those old boston it looked almost like a three-family house but it

1:02:45

wasn't it was one of

1:02:45

those big ones that has all apartments in it right so they left the party we

1:02:49

were on on the first floor

1:02:50

and then they went upstairs and like 20 minutes they came back one of my buddy's

1:02:56

shoulders was

1:02:57

separated the other guy flat lipping and he had a flat top two and maybe had

1:03:00

this big

1:03:01

fucking gash coming right down here blood coming down his face and we were like

1:03:05

what the

1:03:06

fuck happened what the fuck happened is that we just asked this guy for a drink

1:03:09

the whole party started

1:03:10

beating on us so this whole mob goes up the stairs to go fight the party right

1:03:17

and i'm going upstairs

1:03:18

like what the fuck am i doing my big fucking head i'm gonna get knocked out

1:03:22

here but i have to go

1:03:23

because they're my friends so we fucking go up there and uh we hear the party

1:03:28

so my buddy the mouthpiece

1:03:31

guy like the most innocent void ever knocks on the door he goes hey he's like

1:03:34

is there a party going

1:03:36

on in there right and the fucking door opens up and it was like a fucking west

1:03:39

wild west movie like a

1:03:40

saloon fight just fucking haymakers i remember i didn't even want to go in i

1:03:45

was so scared because

1:03:46

i was like oh my god this is gonna be nuts and just the mob just sent me in and

1:03:50

it was just like

1:03:50

everybody's just throwing i remember this dude jumping over my back punching me

1:03:54

in the face right

1:03:55

and the smoke fucking clears and it all settles you know it was all like

1:04:01

fucking 15 second melee and it

1:04:02

all fucking settles and we look at the party and there's like six or seven guys

1:04:07

six or seven girls

1:04:09

and there's like a board game that's tipped over and we had gone to the wrong

1:04:13

party swear to god i know

1:04:15

this sounds like a joke the real party where they got hit was upstairs and i

1:04:20

don't know i don't remember

1:04:21

what happened but they they were actually rich kids and they sued my friends

1:04:24

for going in whatever

1:04:25

the dumb shit they did oh no we all went into the wrong party and they were in

1:04:30

there having like

1:04:31

a couple's thing and they were playing like fucking monopoly or something and

1:04:34

all of a sudden there was

1:04:35

a knock on the door hey is there a party and then everybody just came fucking

1:04:38

running in

1:04:41

like imagine them that's what i'm saying no i feel that's why i didn't want to

1:04:44

tell it because i felt

1:04:45

i felt really like yeah i felt bad when i was in high school the first real brawl

1:04:51

that i ever saw

1:04:53

was when i was like 17 i think i was a senior in high school and there was a

1:04:56

rich kid that moved

1:04:58

into the neighborhood he wanted to make friends so he put on this crazy party

1:05:01

he just invited everybody

1:05:03

so kids from all kinds of different high schools were coming no that's always

1:05:06

good yeah newton north

1:05:08

newton south a bunch of kids from all sorts of other places and uh i happened

1:05:11

to be at the right

1:05:12

place at the right time when i saw it pop off people were already robbing this

1:05:16

guy i saw people taking

1:05:17

stuff out of bedrooms and running down the stairs with it it was real sketchy

1:05:21

because there was way too

1:05:22

many people for this guy's part but then this girl i still to this day don't

1:05:26

remember what she did she

1:05:27

either slapped this guy in the face or she threw a drink in his face i don't

1:05:31

remember i think she

1:05:32

slapped him but what i remember is he uncorked a perfect right hand on her he

1:05:38

know how to punch

1:05:39

like i remember thinking wow this guy's trained because he he snapped it joe

1:05:44

always the commentator

1:05:46

listen i've been doing it for a long time but whatever she did i'm pretty sure

1:05:50

she slapped him but he went

1:05:52

like this i mean it was a perfect right hand hit her right in the face her head

1:05:58

goes back this guy

1:06:00

behind her catches her she's totally unconscious and then chaos chairs flying

1:06:08

bodies piling it up and

1:06:10

i'm on the stairs so i'm watching this through the railings i see the guy punch

1:06:13

the girl as i'm coming

1:06:15

up the stairs i see it all play out i'm like holy and i'm like i gotta get out

1:06:20

of here yes and

1:06:20

it there was pile i didn't i didn't hit anybody and nobody hit me i fucking it

1:06:24

was like a movie like

1:06:25

excuse me part of me crawling out i dodged everything meanwhile uh i was

1:06:31

fighting at the

1:06:32

time i was traveling to tournaments all over the country and fighting so my

1:06:36

friends were looking for

1:06:37

me they're like you know go get joe and there's piles of people brawling and i'm

1:06:42

just ducking the

1:06:43

piles and then i ran into my friend jimmy and i'm like where is everybody and

1:06:46

we gathered our friends

1:06:47

and got in the car and drove off we were laughing our asses off but it was like

1:06:50

when we left the

1:06:51

cops were just starting to arrive there was piles of perfect beating the out of

1:06:55

each

1:06:55

other on the lawn dude i'll never forget it my friend who separated his

1:06:59

shoulder in that fight

1:07:00

we popped it back in and he went back up threw a punch with the same arm and

1:07:06

missed it came out

1:07:07

again and i remember him flopping on the ground like a fish out of water and

1:07:11

afterwards we said to

1:07:12

i'm like dude why didn't you throw the other hand and he goes because i wanted

1:07:15

this hand to get its

1:07:16

revenge i swear like he had made his part of his body like a karate movie like

1:07:23

he had to avenge

1:07:25

his shoulder's death dude that's and i have to tell you something when people

1:07:32

uh talk about you know

1:07:33

you're a funny comedian and blah blah the characters that i grew up with and

1:07:38

what i loved about what they

1:07:39

did and what they said was they weren't trying to be funny like he was dead

1:07:43

serious

1:07:44

yeah and then we were driving home hammered

1:07:48

and we were three abreast uh in in the uh the uh the pickup truck it was this

1:07:56

guy's dad's truck

1:07:58

and he had the flat top so he's got dried blood on his forehead and we're just

1:08:01

driving home and nobody's

1:08:02

saying anything and the dude in the middle has got these sunglasses on and he's

1:08:07

just

1:08:08

sitting there like this and then all of a sudden out of nowhere he just goes

1:08:11

like that scared the

1:08:12

fucking shit out of me and i i did i was like dude what the are you doing and

1:08:17

he goes ah sorry he goes

1:08:19

because i took a little acid he goes i was looking at this bug he goes because

1:08:25

i thought it was on the

1:08:28

windshield he goes it turned out it was on the inside of my glasses now i don't

1:08:32

know if that was true

1:08:33

but dude there's only like i there's no way you could ever reenact how much he

1:08:37

flipped it like how

1:08:38

much you would freak out on acid if you thought a bug was over there but then

1:08:42

your mind told you that

1:08:43

it was on the inside of your fucking glasses and i just remember all three of

1:08:48

us just crying laughing

1:08:50

driving home at this it's just a whole fucking situation and that was like that

1:08:55

was like every

1:08:56

weekend of my life for like um probably like two and a half three years every

1:09:03

single fucking weekend

1:09:05

and we used to go in to uh this there was this club in uh this bar in chelsea

1:09:10

oh boy yeah well

1:09:12

dude i was such a baby face that was the only place where you get served right

1:09:16

so it's a rough place

1:09:17

yeah well yeah it was it was yeah and they were like selling uh fucking blow

1:09:23

out of there so they

1:09:24

didn't give a fuck if you look like you were 12 years old like i was when i go

1:09:28

up to order my my vodka

1:09:30

collins was like the only drink how old were you um i wasn't of age like 19 or

1:09:36

20 probably 20 and i would

1:09:39

go in there and i just remember one time standing outside that bar and there

1:09:44

was this fucking dude who

1:09:46

looked like rob halford from judas priest just totally gacked out of his mind

1:09:52

standing in front of his

1:09:53

motorcycle and he was telling this story about riding his bike and his drug

1:09:57

thing he got stuck

1:09:59

he just kept saying i'm going around the apex going around the apex i am go

1:10:04

around the apex right now

1:10:05

i'm hammered and i'm like making fun of the guy in front of him to my buddy i'm

1:10:09

looking at my buddy and

1:10:10

i'm so shit-faced i'm going going around the apex i'm going around the apex and

1:10:13

he's hitting me because

1:10:14

the guy's staring at me oh yeah no it was it was a uh and i didn't understand

1:10:19

because i never did coke

1:10:22

so i didn't understand what was going on i'm gonna leave it at that i didn't

1:10:25

understand what was going

1:10:26

on but all i knew is i just seemed to be the guy that wanted to go home first i'll

1:10:31

leave it at that

1:10:32

that was a dangerous place boston was dangerous no i i this is when i figured

1:10:36

out what the

1:10:37

was going on was one time i went into the bathroom by myself to take a leak and

1:10:41

it was one of those

1:10:42

things you walk in there was a sink there was a stand-up funeral and then there

1:10:45

was a a stall which

1:10:47

just had one toilet and i walked in and there was two legs guys in there and i

1:10:52

was like what the

1:10:52

fuck are those guys doing and so my dick's already out and i'm taking a piss

1:10:58

and they open like the

1:10:59

thing because they didn't have a latch opened up and they had like the they

1:11:02

were doing blow and i i

1:11:03

was taking a piss because it was weird there's two guys in there i kind of glanced

1:11:06

over as i'm already

1:11:07

pissing i look over and this guy's all fucking hammered like a little werewolf

1:11:10

like what the

1:11:11

fuck are you looking at i was just like pee

1:11:13

didn't wash my hands after that one no there was a lot there was a lot i don't

1:11:22

know why

1:11:23

because a lot of like like easy targets really got hit and i was beyond an easy

1:11:30

target somehow i just

1:11:31

never i i you know i never asked yeah i did i did because i i would have got

1:11:37

really uh i was not as

1:11:39

tough as my friends were my friends were fucking lunatics you know but you know

1:11:43

my great my grade

1:11:44

was cool but like the grade above me and greater below me they were like some

1:11:47

they were crazy but

1:11:49

i talked to friends that grew up in other places they they would they didn't

1:11:54

have the same amount

1:11:55

of fight stories i think boston is a particularly fighty place fighty you know

1:12:00

what i'm saying i i don't

1:12:01

know what yeah uh there was something going on but i mean i think a lot of

1:12:05

those east like new york and

1:12:07

ah fuck this thing's going out um a lot of those uh like i find the people in

1:12:14

like new england long

1:12:17

island tri-state area it's all sort of the same savages savage children of

1:12:23

immigrants that's what it is

1:12:25

yeah but you go out to the midwest and that's like german a lot of slavic

1:12:28

people polish people so i

1:12:30

mean that's i don't know what i think they just had more space out there so it

1:12:34

wasn't as intense you

1:12:36

weren't so like packed yeah you're in a cornfield there's something about boston

1:12:40

though in particular

1:12:41

i think even more so than new york boston was just a lot of fights man my

1:12:46

boxing coach got his finger

1:12:49

bitten off on a fight he was on pcp this guy bit his finger off and uh he had

1:12:55

his toe removed

1:12:56

and replaced his finger with a toe did i tell you this no i remember that was

1:13:00

that was the move back

1:13:01

then so he had it curved permanently so that he could still throw right hooks

1:13:06

so his uh his when you would

1:13:08

shake his hand he would always give you one of these he was like yeah i knew a

1:13:12

guy from boston too he

1:13:13

had this weird looking nose and some guy bit it bit it off and had it reattached

1:13:18

guys lost ears dude

1:13:20

that's why i'm saying why you know right around sixth grade i was just like

1:13:24

yeah this is like becoming

1:13:25

blood sport like i think i'm gonna try to be funny here but yeah there was a

1:13:30

lot of um but there's also

1:13:33

a lot of you know the sports scene back in boston is just uh was was insane

1:13:40

well hockey yeah because

1:13:42

hockey was big in boston and hockey is the only sport that involves actual

1:13:45

fights it's the only

1:13:46

sport where fighting is a part of the sport i'm reading this book right now i'm

1:13:49

reading like i got

1:13:50

three sports books i'm reading right now right i'd read a few in that lines and

1:13:53

then i'm a couple

1:13:54

chapters over here and i'm reading this one called uh bartnett gave it to me

1:13:57

the uh called the code and it

1:13:59

breaks down for anybody i've never understood why there was fighting which i

1:14:03

never quite understood

1:14:04

either i just knew i liked it um it's it's and how the players have to police

1:14:10

the game i i'm not far

1:14:11

enough into the book but it's it's really eye-opening like what goes on out

1:14:16

there these and they have all

1:14:18

these these enforcers talking about it like because sometimes you had to fight

1:14:22

sometimes guys would just

1:14:23

skate out they put them out just the guy being out on the ice sometimes he'd

1:14:26

say something like

1:14:28

hey we don't settle it down out here boys somebody's gonna get hurt a guy would

1:14:31

just

1:14:31

say that and then people like all right okay all right let's fucking sticks

1:14:34

back down everybody play

1:14:36

old-time hockey whatever the fuck he was supposed to do all-star hockey and um

1:14:41

just as far and then

1:14:43

as far as like how there's this whole code of and there's all these there's

1:14:47

like you know the heavy

1:14:49

weights like heavyweight only fucks with a heavyweight unless some middleweight

1:14:53

is doing some

1:14:54

shit and you gave him a warning and he didn't then he has to take a fucking

1:14:57

beating and if he

1:14:57

doesn't take the beating and turtles up that means one of his fucking teammates

1:15:01

is going to get the

1:15:01

beating and then he's going to be a fucking asshole in the locker room i mean

1:15:04

it is it is this whole

1:15:05

web of fascinating shit because everybody just looks at the sport and they just

1:15:09

think oh drop gloves

1:15:10

fucking beat the shit up there's a whole code thing that that is going on out

1:15:14

there that actually

1:15:17

because of that it keeps the game safer which i don't understand i don't

1:15:22

understand i don't understand it

1:15:23

either but i just think it's fascinating that there's this one sport where it's

1:15:26

okay to fight

1:15:27

like what are you talking about the sport you do that's all they do is fight

1:15:31

but that's the whole

1:15:31

sport that's the sport itself but there's no fighting in basketball there's

1:15:36

agreed upon fighting in

1:15:38

hockey that doesn't exist in any other sport where everybody backs off and

1:15:41

these guys go lacrosse you

1:15:43

can do it in lacrosse who the plays professional lacrosse i i don't know but i

1:15:48

wouldn't want to say

1:15:49

that i wouldn't want to say that to one of them this is this full fucking cage

1:15:53

i wouldn't say that but

1:15:53

those guys are savages for no what about the cross-country skiers and all of a

1:15:56

sudden they

1:15:57

got a rifle they're doing like they're in a gun range i mean that's different

1:16:00

that's that stupid

1:16:01

fucking what is that that's not the decathlon you know what that's like that's

1:16:04

like tex-mex food

1:16:06

right asian infused americana that's all it is it's just people people are you

1:16:14

know doing their

1:16:15

version of cross-country skiing like that's like yeah i like that cross-country

1:16:20

skiing whether you

1:16:21

then shoot that's like the beginning of a lot of james bond things they always

1:16:24

seem to be in the snow

1:16:25

yeah well the whole idea is the elevated heart rate it's hard to control your

1:16:28

shot

1:16:29

because i think they're supposed to shoot off-handed too you know they're not

1:16:32

supposed to have a rest

1:16:34

i know see i don't know about hunting and that's the thing that i always that i

1:16:36

lived for on the

1:16:37

hunting shows what was when the guys after the kill and then they're just oh

1:16:42

man i was so scared

1:16:44

i'm just saying all this fucking and it's so i get it if you're shooting like a

1:16:48

lion it's a nerve-wracking

1:16:50

thing because you don't want to up and you know it's because people are going

1:16:53

to make fun of you

1:16:54

no because you're going to hurt an animal you don't want to wound the animal

1:16:57

you want to kill it you

1:16:58

want to kill it cleanly it's and you have to keep it together while you're you're

1:17:02

pulling the trigger

1:17:03

on an animal you're going to end its life it's very nerve-wracking well can't

1:17:06

you just give him the

1:17:07

second one second bullet oh you're saying if he runs away and then he thinks

1:17:12

suffers if you nick it

1:17:13

you know you shoot it in the leg or something like that it's very likely it's

1:17:16

going to get away

1:17:16

die slowly get eaten by coyotes or something it's really bad dude i got one for

1:17:21

you because you got me

1:17:22

watching those videos of animals eating other first of all i love bears but i

1:17:28

can't watch them kill

1:17:29

anything because they don't see the recent one they don't bear took down the

1:17:32

buffalo they don't kill

1:17:33

it why won't they kill it killed it well they just they they kill it because

1:17:36

they start eating it before

1:17:37

it's dead yeah they just hold it down and start eating yeah that's what bears

1:17:41

do i got one for you

1:17:43

okay have you watched the praying mantises videos yes i have do you see the one

1:17:47

where the praying mantis

1:17:48

eats the lizard who tries to eat him well he because he fucking alligator armed

1:17:52

it he was like i'm gonna

1:17:53

kill you he kind of did the little flicky he gave him a little jab and then

1:17:56

that thing just grabbed

1:17:58

him he was like ah what the yeah he like and then started licked at him then

1:18:01

started yeah but if his

1:18:03

jaw but if he let his hands go as you guys say with his tongue i think he could

1:18:08

have pulled that thing

1:18:10

in and crushed him no no praying mantis is so strong they're so much stronger

1:18:16

than you would imagine them

1:18:18

being because they have these little stick arms yeah that i watched one eat a

1:18:21

hummingbird oh yeah yeah

1:18:22

they eat all kinds of shit they eat everything that they get a hold of we're

1:18:25

lucky they're little

1:18:26

praying mantises are amazing i love those little things they're they're crazy

1:18:31

what they can

1:18:32

do to a bird or something much larger than the lizard was the most impressive

1:18:36

because the lizard

1:18:37

thought it was going to eat him and that thing was totally immobilized yeah it

1:18:42

was like it reminded

1:18:44

me of watching the shit that you say well he's passed his guard yeah now he's

1:18:47

going for this that

1:18:48

thing was just like oh it's exactly like that because the the their clamp is so

1:18:52

it's like if somebody got

1:18:53

you in a darse it's the same thing someone gets like uh like this grip and then

1:18:58

cinches it up to a

1:18:59

darse choke you're like trapped in there that's what it was like he was there

1:19:02

it is there's this poor

1:19:03

look he thinks he's gonna get him and he's like you ain't getting nothing but

1:19:07

look how he holds his

1:19:08

mouth open and he's like oh dude i i hate i feel so but this lizard get he gets

1:19:13

away he gets away for

1:19:15

a second but this is what's crazy for a second yeah yeah yeah look at the yeah

1:19:19

he starts eating his

1:19:20

mouth he just starts slowly i know what he's doing i know what he's doing i

1:19:24

love it have you ever seen

1:19:26

praying mantis versus a murder hornet you know everybody's afraid of murder

1:19:29

hornets look at him

1:19:30

he's like fuck what did you do to my face oh jesus he's like in pain he's

1:19:34

shaking it off and the praying

1:19:36

mantis is like bitch i'm not done with you yet like he's in agony and he's spazzing

1:19:39

around and the

1:19:40

praying mantis just locks onto him again and slowly starts pulling him apart

1:19:44

and at the end he's dead

1:19:46

he just starts eating his brain look at that they just can pull that skin apart

1:19:51

and bite right through it

1:19:53

but it thinks so much bigger than him that's like you eating a cow that's like

1:19:57

you holding a cow down

1:19:58

i wouldn't do that look at that he's eating his brain lizards dead as well that

1:20:03

that part's not a

1:20:04

problem for me right here because now it's dead yeah but it died this way i

1:20:07

know it did that was the

1:20:08

part i love it i'm a big fan of the praying mantis i like their technique hey i'm

1:20:14

not gonna begrudge

1:20:17

i just i don't need to pull the video the grizzly uh taking down the buffalo it

1:20:21

was only two days ago it

1:20:22

was in yellowstone it linked me to a 30 minute video of it just fucking up all

1:20:26

sorts of animal art

1:20:27

praying mantis yeah i'll put that oh by the way there's so many fucking people

1:20:31

here it goes

1:20:32

what's this what's he fucking up all kinds of things leaf bugs what is that

1:20:36

that's a leaf bug i think

1:20:37

oh wow what a weird looking creature oh the praying mantis is pink he's uh he's

1:20:43

camouflaged himself oh wow now he's the color of the leaf yeah this is a good

1:20:47

point 10 million views on this praying mantis video they're amazing animals man

1:20:52

what were you

1:20:52

gonna say were you mad about i wasn't mad about anything i'm just like i i you

1:20:57

know

1:20:58

i love bears right yes i love when they ride the bikes at the circus

1:21:07

i love it i love when he rides a bike in the circus oh this is my thing about

1:21:14

that what did they have

1:21:14

to do to that bear when you see what this thing can do to a bison what did they

1:21:19

do to that bear

1:21:20

to get him to get on a fucking bicycle give him food that's how they train him

1:21:25

is that how you did

1:21:26

it i've never got a bear in the back you just just the confidence the way you

1:21:30

said that because i've seen

1:21:30

them you've i've seen them train bears yeah they can train are you one of those

1:21:35

guys who doesn't need

1:21:35

any sleep like of all the random things i've seen it this is the one where the

1:21:40

bear freaks out oh with

1:21:41

the whip the whip that little whip there he's just on a bike i don't think he

1:21:45

freaks out i don't think

1:21:47

he's beating the bear i'll tell you right now that guy's not dressed to get a

1:21:51

fucking to be attacked

1:21:52

by a bear no well the bear's got a muzzle on and it's a little ass bear but

1:21:56

bear is still dude

1:21:57

fuck you man fuck you they got the they got the freddy krueger claws

1:22:01

on all he got four of them he's on a vespa now look at that wow i mean can you

1:22:09

humiliate a bear

1:22:10

even more he's got to wear that frilly outfit now you got him didn't give him a

1:22:14

motorcycle the one

1:22:15

who's a big fan of the bears riding bikes i was joking me too i was joking i

1:22:18

didn't i didn't know

1:22:21

i actually watched a whole training video of how like that's where do you find

1:22:26

what part of the

1:22:27

internet are you on well i don't know i was i was trying to figure out why

1:22:30

people what the

1:22:32

fuck that guy's got a giant grizzly bear on the back of his bike playing a horn

1:22:36

it's playing a

1:22:37

trumpet because he's got any volume on this trumpet let me hear this oh back it

1:22:42

up there

1:22:43

hello

1:22:51

this person that's filming this is an idiot you think it can't break out of

1:22:55

that seat belt and just

1:22:57

did you see the bear flipping them off that thing has on a lap belt yeah what

1:23:02

is the bear doing he's

1:23:03

just imagine this got to be russia right and his only way they would allow this

1:23:08

is in russia yeah yeah

1:23:10

look at the language in the back of that truck he's yelling at the traffic

1:23:13

jesus christ let's go size of that thing my god just throwing his arms up just

1:23:19

thinking about

1:23:20

ripping a person apart no he isn't yeah he's thinking like i used to be in the

1:23:23

woods

1:23:23

could eat whatever i wanted the weird thing about bears is if you train them

1:23:27

when they're young

1:23:28

they're like almost like dogs they become your buddy

1:23:33

it's weird the day somebody tells that bear that it's riding bitch that guy

1:23:38

that guy riding the

1:23:40

motorcycle he's gonna he's gonna be in trouble he's riding on the side cart

1:23:46

yeah he's gonna be in

1:23:47

trouble remember those side carts whatever happened to those you never see

1:23:50

those a motorcycle with

1:23:51

the side car you ever see the racing no they do side cart racing side car

1:23:55

racing and when they go

1:23:56

around a turn okay and it's on the side where the guy's riding the side is

1:24:01

lifted up that guy

1:24:02

he has to stand up dude they're going like i don't know how many miles an hour

1:24:06

he has to stand up and

1:24:07

lean over all the way over on this side of the bike because of the weight of

1:24:10

the sidecar so it doesn't

1:24:11

fall off so it doesn't yeah they can go through the turn at a higher speed i

1:24:16

mean it's bad enough

1:24:17

when you're the guy in the car with the map you ever seen those when they have

1:24:21

two two drivers

1:24:22

yeah the one guy's yelling turn and 100 yards left leg right left yeah those

1:24:26

are those rally drivers

1:24:28

right i never understood that do you know what they're doing they're yelling

1:24:30

out directions of the

1:24:31

road right but they have notebooks that tells them like what what's the next

1:24:35

turn next turn right i

1:24:37

would guess that the course is so long that they they can't memorize it or

1:24:41

maybe it's just through

1:24:43

a town it must be yeah this is a sidecar racing on the back of some the driver

1:24:48

i believe

1:24:49

because yeah it moves over but they're going fast as going really fast

1:24:55

oh my god you're the one who turned me on to those bike races in the isle of

1:25:00

man

1:25:01

i was supposed to go to that this year oh you would be side on the side oh no

1:25:06

no no no no way no i i planted to befriend some people in town with a balcony

1:25:12

even then like god

1:25:13

know some part of the bike could come flying up with uh i want to go to that

1:25:17

before they outlaw it

1:25:18

and they get outlawed just because people die every year more people have died

1:25:23

than years they've had

1:25:24

it whoa and it's still like look at these yeah this is this is so so more than

1:25:30

one person dies every

1:25:32

year that's what that would mean right basically average yeah and i think way

1:25:36

back in the day way

1:25:37

more people died like the safety equipment is much better but as you see they're

1:25:41

going by brick walls

1:25:43

and trees and like there's just no jesus christ when you say safety equipment

1:25:47

like what what the

1:25:48

kind of safety equipment is going to save you they yeah well they have an airbag

1:25:53

which is a really

1:25:53

amazing piece of technology whereas you fall it it can tell when you've let go

1:25:57

of the bike and you're

1:25:57

falling like instantaneously and it protects your uh organs yeah but obviously

1:26:02

your brain's in the

1:26:03

fluid so it doesn't protect that i tell you but the best racing out there moto

1:26:09

gp is the

1:26:10

shit it's better than this um well i don't know i i yeah i would actually say

1:26:18

because i like the

1:26:19

passing there's so much passing what's kind of what with formula one where the

1:26:23

mercedes and ferrari

1:26:25

are just so much better than everybody else it kind of comes down to the two of

1:26:28

them and every

1:26:29

year since i've been watching since 2015 so i'm new to the sport italian gp

1:26:33

right here yes that's

1:26:34

davizioso mark marquez i believe you know these guys yeah wow so mark marquez

1:26:39

the guy in

1:26:40

second place is like he's the jordan of the sports right for davizioso is

1:26:44

actually in third i don't

1:26:46

know who's in first so those uh that's a ducati a honda ducati and i think a suzuki

1:26:51

do you ride

1:26:52

i did for three months out here i always wanted to ride my parents would never

1:26:56

let me so finally

1:26:57

out here i took a motorcycle safety course i got my license and everything and

1:27:00

then i i had a bike

1:27:01

for like two months and it was just it's la is not the place to learn how to

1:27:05

ride and everyone was

1:27:06

texting while driving uh you want to go to wyoming i think i want to get a dirt

1:27:11

bike

1:27:11

um but this is the type of shit like with this racing what i like is like three

1:27:18

or four races last

1:27:19

year on the final lap there was like two guys that would pass each other like

1:27:23

four or five times

1:27:26

um like that shit right there so then you try to come on the brakes the the

1:27:33

latest on the brakes

1:27:35

but not overshoot the turn i mean there's just so much shit that's you sort of

1:27:38

learn as you're

1:27:39

watching i still don't know about it but these guys are fucking incredible

1:27:43

would you begin to go

1:27:43

into a track learning how to ride on a track that seems like the safest way to

1:27:47

do it absolutely that

1:27:48

that is the way to do it and then wear all of that gear and then have fun and

1:27:51

you can like open

1:27:52

up uh dean sent me a video today this guy in a porsche that could go 200 miles

1:27:55

an hour

1:27:56

but he does it on a highway and it's just like you're gonna kill somebody or

1:28:00

kill yourself it's

1:28:01

like take that thing to the track yeah don't do that and and god forbid you hit

1:28:05

some debris

1:28:05

you know what's gonna happen to your car like you uh i just think i think there's

1:28:09

a lot of people that

1:28:10

buy high performance that go into a track either is not available it doesn't

1:28:15

enter their mind like

1:28:16

something like myself like it wasn't until i started watching racing i kind of

1:28:19

learned a little bit

1:28:20

about i'm like oh there's like a track you know out in the inland empire you

1:28:23

know there's there's a day

1:28:24

where the like the general public can come down or whatever you can pay to rent

1:28:28

the track and it's

1:28:30

kind of like you know a lot of these guys you see driving around in ferraris if

1:28:33

you ever the only

1:28:33

time i ever drove a ferrari was i drove one on the track it was fucking

1:28:36

unbelievable like how hard you

1:28:38

could stomp on the brakes without the thing locking up and you're trying to

1:28:43

impress the guy you're riding

1:28:44

with and you think you just want to be like flooring it and blah blah blah and

1:28:47

what you really want to be

1:28:48

doing is smoothly going around the smoother you go both you know on the gas and

1:28:55

braking then it becomes

1:28:56

like this really like finesse thing where it looks like you just grab it by the

1:29:00

fucking throat and

1:29:02

and you know like i said i only did it one time but like i immediately learned

1:29:04

that like made me

1:29:06

appreciate what they were doing a lot more plus it only went around five times

1:29:10

and my fucking brain was

1:29:11

like the g-force yeah like i almost felt a little bit uh like not sick i just

1:29:18

felt a little up like i

1:29:19

think yeah i'm gonna sit down here for a couple of seconds not say it to any of

1:29:22

the guys i'm driving

1:29:23

with hey fine fine i could do that all day jimmy pull up uh porsche rally

1:29:27

driving the dirt road porsche

1:29:29

drivers that's those are the guys that are reading left right left right right

1:29:33

they have like a notebook

1:29:35

you need a driver next to you that's got a notebook that that looks like a lot

1:29:40

of fun apparently that's

1:29:41

a great way to learn how to really drive too is on the dirt same with dirt

1:29:44

bikes because you know you

1:29:46

slide a lot so you learn how to counter steer and you learn how to how to

1:29:49

handle the weight out back

1:29:51

like as it's kicking out learn how to counter it i have this weird thing where

1:29:54

i am fascinated by machines

1:29:56

and i want to everything that i see i want to learn how to drive it or fly it

1:30:00

or whatever but i'm not a

1:30:02

speed guy like i'm just not into like because you're smart going fast i don't

1:30:08

know it's dangerous i like

1:30:10

chilling yeah these guys see the guys there's the guy with the book this is a

1:30:13

regular road look how

1:30:14

fucking so it's got a digital thing telling them what gear he's in and here's

1:30:18

what fascinates me is the

1:30:20

trust between those two guys oh yeah like this guy this guy is driving like a

1:30:25

fucking lunatic and this

1:30:26

guy's looking down at his paper you know when your friend starts driving like a

1:30:30

lunatic you're looking

1:30:31

at him going dude dude slow down slow down this is a road people and trees and

1:30:36

cars and houses on both

1:30:37

sides this guy's flying down this fucking road and he's going sideways all the

1:30:42

time you see him

1:30:43

counter steering all the time we see his ass end kick out like all the time

1:30:47

yeah it's amazing oh my god

1:30:49

and how are these fucking people that are so confident they can stand on the

1:30:52

side of the road while these

1:30:53

maniacs are fucking i used to think racing was just this stupid mindless thing

1:30:57

and now i think it's one

1:30:58

of the coolest sports out there oh it's a very cool sport it's very i like

1:31:03

driving cars just to feel the

1:31:05

mechanical just the gears moving and all the things that are happening i have a

1:31:10

an old porsche on 93

1:31:12

that's uh no power steering it doesn't have a radio it doesn't have anything

1:31:16

that's awesome and it's all air

1:31:18

cooled so it sounds like it's really mechanical have you ever seen it i'll show

1:31:23

it to you after

1:31:24

we're done that red one yeah yeah yeah i wish i had the key with me here i'd

1:31:27

let you drive it

1:31:28

it's fun as fun but it's not fast it's not it's the slowest car i have but it's

1:31:32

fun it's so fun

1:31:34

to drive like you feel everything you feel every bump there's no nothing

1:31:38

between you and the wheels

1:31:40

in terms of steering there's no power you're steering the wheel all by your

1:31:43

hand it's really hard

1:31:44

to steer it's not that safe either yeah you can't make quick turns like you got

1:31:48

to really muscle that

1:31:49

motherfucker i'm like i'm into like look at these guys oh jesus christ but when

1:31:54

i drive look at these

1:31:55

fucking crazy assholes standing by with the guy with the propeller hat he's

1:31:58

just like yep i'm a

1:31:59

fucking idiot i'm enjoying this though look at the fucking height and this guy

1:32:03

catches the ground with

1:32:04

two wheels oh my god does it land good it does land good that's amazing um but

1:32:09

i drive that car to the

1:32:10

comedy store it's my if i want to do like if uh i'm really working on something

1:32:15

or i really want to be

1:32:16

jazzed up for a set i'll take that car to the comedy store because it's so loud

1:32:21

and smoky and

1:32:22

everything's like your whole body you feel it you like you're excited when you

1:32:29

get there it's like

1:32:30

you're on a stimulant yeah no it's it's uh it's fun man like all of that stuff

1:32:35

um look at these guys

1:32:37

you should like you know since the last time i did this this show i got to

1:32:43

finally fly uh an a-star

1:32:45

which was uh what the cops and the uh news guys fly and that was that was the

1:32:49

coolest thing a star

1:32:50

helicopter we should tell people is is the coolest thing i've ever flown as far

1:32:55

as like um

1:32:56

just the power and compared to what you know i fly these little egg beaters or

1:33:01

whatever but

1:33:01

like i did until all that happened um but uh i got one of the last flights i

1:33:07

did i got to fly a

1:33:09

buddy of mine who was training me to get my instrument like i passed the test

1:33:12

um and then

1:33:14

after you pass the test you have two years so i still have two years i have to

1:33:17

december of next year

1:33:18

to pass it so i got to finish that part of it you know did we do a podcast

1:33:23

since you took me up

1:33:25

have you done one since you took me up i think we did i think we did yeah did

1:33:29

we jamie yeah that was

1:33:31

fun we went over downtown l.a and you realize how many of those buildings have

1:33:34

helicopter spots on

1:33:35

the top yeah that was fun man it's just it's crazy to me that with a helicopter

1:33:40

you could just kind

1:33:41

of go wherever you want to go yeah just float around just go wherever you want

1:33:45

to go you can just

1:33:46

stop it it's but what but then what it is is you give up speed yeah for that

1:33:51

design you give

1:33:52

up it has all kinds of drag and just the way it's designed for what you want to

1:33:56

do with it you give

1:33:57

up speed so i get envious of planes where even if you get like a cessna like

1:34:02

they can just fly

1:34:04

though i mean i think even like the some of the smaller ones can fly faster

1:34:09

than the some of the

1:34:10

faster hell i mean you'd have to have like eight million dollar helicopter

1:34:12

maybe that could fly

1:34:13

faster but anything that i've with you can't come anywhere near like most of

1:34:17

them 120 130 knots

1:34:19

and then it depends on headwind or tailwind what's a knot to a mile an hour

1:34:22

well it's it's like it

1:34:24

depends on how uh the wind because you can literally be flying 90 knots and

1:34:28

have like a

1:34:29

50 no not what i fly but a significant headwind um this is all you have to know

1:34:34

on the test and the

1:34:35

second you you take the test you i forget but um you'll actually be going

1:34:40

slower

1:34:41

i've had times like especially out like in like palm desert and stuff where

1:34:45

there's like a venturi with

1:34:46

the way the mountains are and when the fucking the wind comes in which can be

1:34:50

really scary um as far

1:34:52

as how it throws you around you're looking down at the highway with what i fly

1:34:55

and they're going

1:34:56

faster than you and you're just sitting there like and then that's when it

1:34:59

sucks because also with a

1:35:01

helicopter you you the whole time you can't just like take your hands off of

1:35:04

shit right so you have

1:35:06

to you you're literally it's like your porsche like you're you know i'm

1:35:09

imagining like uh trying to

1:35:12

parallel park that car even though it's a lighter car it's a nightmare i have a

1:35:15

68 ford f100 when i

1:35:17

first had it i didn't have power steering dude and it was just like i mean i

1:35:19

remember when you bought

1:35:20

that thing to the ice house that thing is the yeah i love that old truck that's

1:35:25

kind of my thing i like

1:35:27

the trucks and then i like uh old like not pimp cars like the guy who is a pimp

1:35:34

but he's not a pimp like

1:35:36

like you know what i mean like not literally a pimp he doesn't have a stable of

1:35:40

but he's crushing life

1:35:41

like i like that car like uh like if i was going to get another car i would get

1:35:46

a 67 cadillac el dorado

1:35:48

and it's actually the color that i loved that was in that the tarantino movie

1:35:52

but somebody was selling

1:35:53

one and i swear to god if it by the time i saw the youtube video was already

1:35:56

sold i would have bought

1:35:57

that fucking car it's the most gangster man's car like just the back end of

1:36:04

that car it's it's

1:36:05

perfection i absolutely love that car that's a beautiful car 67 el dorado would

1:36:10

you get a

1:36:11

convertible or regular no i hate convertibles do you really all convertibles uh

1:36:15

yeah i kind of i got

1:36:16

i'm a little sexist with the convertible there's one convertible that i like

1:36:20

the one that i have

1:36:21

the 65 corvette no no that's no that that's a 70. no no that's that's uh what

1:36:26

year is that it's it's

1:36:27

the car that the the the woman playing uh margot what's the name margot robbie

1:36:32

there it is there

1:36:33

it is there it is there it is right there that looks like it's green there but

1:36:36

i think it was a

1:36:37

blue not that no not that one over uh the guy with the suspenders right to the

1:36:40

left of that right here

1:36:42

yeah that one there that car oh wow you got to see the back end of that car

1:36:48

that um that's a late

1:36:49

the 67 or 68 or something like that but the back end look up uh 67 cadillac el

1:36:56

dorado rear end

1:36:57

this is what i do while you're learning how to train a uh fucking bear to ride

1:37:02

a bicycle i look at this

1:37:03

shit oh wow click on that first one click on the first one we see a little bit

1:37:08

of the side of the

1:37:09

car i mean look at that that's beautiful that is beautiful you need one of

1:37:13

those in your life bill

1:37:14

i do i need you driving one of those this is what i love about my wife

1:37:18

as i'll show her that what do you think about that she's like that's a good

1:37:22

looking car and

1:37:22

she would be cool if i got something like that i think for sure yeah but look

1:37:27

at that color i'm

1:37:27

too fair skin to drive that you need olive skin no more you could pull it off

1:37:32

you could pull it off

1:37:32

you need one of them paperboy hats though no that that thing would that thing

1:37:36

would

1:37:36

fucking that thing would blend too much in with my beard

1:37:42

i just look like it'd be the ginger mobile what color would you get there uh

1:37:46

there's a year they

1:37:47

got there's a there's a blue that they have um it's not that blue it's more of

1:37:53

it's more of a

1:37:54

look at that red one click on that red one in the middle but look at the front

1:37:57

end and like when your

1:37:58

lights are flipped out look at that thing god look how good that looks in red

1:38:01

that's a beautiful car

1:38:05

oh but the lines in that car that's just like and then that's the kind of

1:38:08

company you're not going

1:38:09

to smoke a cigar driving down the street riding that thing you have to yeah

1:38:13

that's beautiful i think

1:38:15

i'm going to get one get one i know where am i going to put it then i'm going

1:38:18

to be that guy with

1:38:19

the garage put it here you can park it here i'll give you a key i got plenty of

1:38:25

room hey all right

1:38:26

dude this is why you're the number one podcast in the world i'm trying to help

1:38:29

people

1:38:30

i'm trying to encourage uh irresponsible behavior yeah and if you continue to

1:38:35

own your podcast you

1:38:36

can buy something like that and if you don't your agent will buy that yeah i

1:38:41

love them i love

1:38:42

cadillac convertibles too though i don't like um muscle car convertibles after

1:38:47

a certain like mine uh

1:38:49

that corvette that i have out there you've seen that silver one yeah i love

1:38:52

that in a convertible but

1:38:53

that has a aftermarket suspension and aftermarket frame i've seen i've seen all

1:38:57

those cars the fact

1:38:59

that the old ones those frames it's too there's too much bounce there's too

1:39:03

much shake and wiggle you

1:39:04

have to have like a an aftermarket chassis it's far stiffer they make it so

1:39:08

that it's like very very

1:39:09

rigid it doesn't bounce around nearly as much yeah then they should make like a

1:39:13

sway bar or something

1:39:13

that you would put in there because i know in my truck when i take a turn i

1:39:16

have to grab underneath

1:39:17

the seat and hang on so i don't slide into the door they can upgrade your coilovers

1:39:22

and stuff like that

1:39:23

and put a better suspension on it so it handles i have a nice balance of a

1:39:27

little bit of modern on

1:39:28

it and still fighting it so you feel like because it still shifts on the column

1:39:31

which i think is badass

1:39:32

but then when i get on the highway i gotta stay in the right lane you know

1:39:35

three on the tree right

1:39:36

yeah do you have disc brakes on it did you swap disc brakes out i had uh it it

1:39:41

had it had just the

1:39:43

shoes on it and then drums the drum brakes yeah and then i uh converted those

1:39:48

chris fatitis helped me with

1:39:49

those and um then what did i do after that i switched out the radiator because

1:39:56

they tended to

1:39:57

run hot so they put an aluminum one in and um what else did we do to it titus

1:40:03

used to have power

1:40:04

brakes and then uh power steering titus used to have a sweet i think it was a

1:40:09

55 chevy that they made for

1:40:12

him on the show rides it was incredible oh that chip foos car right yeah i

1:40:16

think chip foos made it yeah

1:40:18

it was incredible though just i don't know if he still has it he might have

1:40:22

lost it when he got

1:40:23

divorced and all that jazz but it was no i think he got it back did he i think

1:40:26

he got it back but i i i

1:40:28

like those christopher titus i like those uh those resto mod cars it's sort of

1:40:33

the perfect there it is

1:40:35

there it is look at that thing yeah that's pretty wild damn that is a work of

1:40:39

art god it's beautiful

1:40:41

that's it's all very modified too 56 bel air custom for by chip foos go down

1:40:48

jamie and that one in the

1:40:49

left hand right there with titus right there i think that's him yeah look at

1:40:53

that fuck i mean that's a

1:40:54

badass car fuck that is incredible yeah that car is incredible like when do you

1:41:01

like look at that or

1:41:03

drive that and not smile yeah that's what i i i i don't know i i like also i i'm

1:41:09

into those cab over

1:41:11

engine trucks i like weird what's a cab over engine what is that look those up

1:41:15

those are those were the

1:41:16

trucks uh 40s and 50s and the reason why they had that was there was some weird

1:41:22

law where they didn't

1:41:23

want trucks to get too long so then that affected the so they kept the tractor

1:41:28

trail along and then

1:41:29

they they put the engine it's cab over engine is what it stands for so the

1:41:33

engines below you while

1:41:34

you're sitting there yeah so if you look at some of the ones that people have

1:41:37

fixed up they're

1:41:38

fucking wild that is wild look at that thing yeah wow but the thing is if you

1:41:44

do a gig in like wyoming

1:41:46

you can find an all original one just like sitting in like junkyards and shit

1:41:50

look at that fucking thing

1:41:51

god damn that's beautiful like i always wish like one of those car shows like

1:41:54

fast and loud the ones

1:41:55

i've watched throughout the years i always wish that somebody would do one of

1:41:59

those i had that guy

1:42:00

on the podcast he was awesome yeah he brought his own tequila oh there's

1:42:03

another great one from

1:42:04

when i was a kid that that yellow one uh down that's a ford yep i love those

1:42:09

because that was like

1:42:10

the fire engines look like that thing but it's like what would you do with it

1:42:14

but drive around take it

1:42:15

to the store it's for sale gateway classic cars i know but that's that's like

1:42:22

the dumb shit i like

1:42:23

those uh like those kind of the gmc uh rv from stripes and and you got to do it

1:42:29

in the palm desert

1:42:31

fucking the the the ron burgundy green you like very odd cars yeah well at

1:42:37

first i think you you're

1:42:38

into mustangs and you're into fucking like the gtos and the ones you're

1:42:42

supposed to like yeah and then

1:42:44

i'll ignore what you just did there um and then i mean look at that you got to

1:42:48

get the interior on

1:42:49

that fucking thing it's a scooby-doo mobile that's the mystery mobile no they

1:42:53

had a van you okay click

1:42:56

on click on the one uh you're on the right the lower left all the way to lower

1:43:00

left uh up from the

1:43:00

cluster on the right yeah is that it click on that fucking thing no that's not

1:43:07

it it's that one

1:43:10

which one you want it's the one it's the best green one they have just click

1:43:14

there it is look at that

1:43:15

and inside it looks like a ron burgundy suit like it's the green plaid type

1:43:21

shit get a little

1:43:24

humidor in there drive around do some look at that i mean look at that come on

1:43:27

man that's the fucking

1:43:29

shit so you like those old cars like gtos and i like all of those but like what

1:43:36

i don't like about

1:43:37

them is the baby boomers like them and they have a zillion dollars so then all

1:43:42

of a sudden it's like

1:43:43

you know this is a mustang shelby i'm gonna start the bidding at 250 000 it's

1:43:49

like oh yourself so

1:43:51

i like uh you know i like a 65 ford galaxy that's what frank murphy season four

1:43:58

episode family that's

1:43:59

what he drives uh i like station wagons have you ever seen those icon thrift

1:44:04

masters do you know what that

1:44:05

is um jonathan ward the guy from icon he takes uh an old thrift master and uh

1:44:12

redoes it and they

1:44:13

completely from the bottom up it's the most incredible car it drives like a car

1:44:18

but look at that it looks

1:44:20

insane look at that thing they and they they do it from the bottom up so it's

1:44:25

all like modern brakes

1:44:27

modern suspension beautiful interior that's what i love but then when you go in

1:44:30

inside i want it to look

1:44:31

like the year that that truck was look at that silver one the one that right

1:44:34

above your cursor yeah look at

1:44:36

that yeah yeah i've seen actually i looked that one i i accidentally came upon

1:44:40

that one god that's

1:44:41

beautiful i got another one it's a weird one look up gmc uh i always figure out

1:44:45

the name of these things

1:44:46

were a parade of progress that's what it's called i figure uh that's they would

1:44:51

drive these things like

1:44:53

elephants into town they were like a living room giant like truck rv thing the

1:44:59

are these things called

1:45:00

yeah you got it yeah that thing look at that thing what the how do you even

1:45:06

know about this so so the

1:45:08

great thing is you open the door and there's like a spiral staircase where you

1:45:12

you go up and in there

1:45:14

what they usually had was back in the day because they would open it up on the

1:45:17

side they would they

1:45:18

would drive them in like elephants and make like a semicircle and people would

1:45:20

walk in

1:45:21

what is that i don't know what i don't know what they have in there that's a

1:45:25

yeah that's an airplane

1:45:26

engine or something why is there an airplane engine in the middle of that i don't

1:45:29

know because somebody

1:45:30

oh they customized it power for the air age i think they were it was this weird

1:45:34

sort of uh

1:45:35

after world war ii see there they are in the black and white there they are

1:45:38

like driving it and

1:45:39

driving them into town and look at the steering wheel you were right in the

1:45:44

center and there was like a

1:45:44

little spiral staircase that you walked up because those things go for like i i

1:45:49

forget how much like

1:45:51

two three million bucks or something oh that's 1936 it says parade of progress

1:45:54

so it shows you what

1:45:55

i look at that motherfucker yeah that's just weird shit that's so that that's

1:46:00

what you want one of those

1:46:01

a rolling podcast studio no that is too weird but i i appreciate it like when

1:46:08

you know that old bmw

1:46:10

where the the whole front of the car opens up and you got the steering wheel

1:46:13

like goes out like

1:46:14

disconnects and goes out with the front i haven't seen that one all right i

1:46:19

just it would help if i

1:46:20

knew the names of the cars the steering wheel disconnects mm-hmm it's a setup bmw

1:46:26

i just know

1:46:27

steve workle had it and family matters that's all i know about it that's it

1:46:30

yeah that's how look at this

1:46:31

so how you get in is you you like open the front oh yeah click on the red one

1:46:37

there it is yeah

1:46:38

saying there's a steering wheel oh does it disconnect there's something weird

1:46:41

it seems like

1:46:42

the steering wheel stays but it looks like it disconnects well maybe like it

1:46:46

adjusts and comes

1:46:47

back you enter through the so if you get in a front end collision you got to

1:46:51

kick the windows out

1:46:52

to get out of the car yeah and it's three wheels too there's one vehicle yeah

1:46:57

urkel i forgot about

1:46:59

urkel see his well his came off in the car i met him one time he's like the

1:47:02

coolest guy all right

1:47:04

he's really nice i guess it bends over there you see how it's turned down to

1:47:08

the side oh it bends

1:47:10

and then you step over it whoa yeah i knew there was something there was

1:47:15

something about the steering

1:47:17

wheel yeah there's a lot of weird out there but you like weird stuff you're not

1:47:20

necessarily

1:47:21

like you you you know what this is like to cool things no it's like if you get

1:47:26

into music if you really

1:47:27

get into a band like if you're into acdc right can you really listen to you

1:47:31

shook me all night long

1:47:33

again okay you're like no dude you got to listen to what's next to the moon get

1:47:37

it hot some of that

1:47:38

you know or like uh cod like i like after a while you're just like all right

1:47:43

you know like i would

1:47:44

say shook me all night long is the mustang gt of acdc songs and it's just like

1:47:49

if you're out here

1:47:50

there's a zillion mustangs but it's like you after a while you want you want to

1:47:54

see you know it's

1:47:55

part of human beings you want something a little bit different it's a little

1:47:58

different it's cooler

1:47:59

like i kind of learned from fast and loud that the um was it the ford falcon or

1:48:03

something had the same

1:48:04

chassis as the fucking mustang but like it's just a way cooler car because

1:48:09

everybody goes for like the

1:48:11

mustang you i mean you know you want to spend all that money and then some

1:48:15

other

1:48:15

fucking shows up and he has one too that doesn't bother me ah bugs me it's like

1:48:23

it's like when you're

1:48:23

in a comedy club and then if even somebody just touches on the topic you're

1:48:27

like i can't talk

1:48:27

about that yes i get that because then it becomes like oh they all do that i

1:48:31

get that but there's a

1:48:32

reason why everybody loves mustangs i love them too but i have this weird thing

1:48:36

where i love the interior

1:48:38

up to 66 but i like the back end on 60 67 68 yeah i like that back end but i

1:48:44

hate but that's when they

1:48:45

got this shit steering wheel like the steering wheel and like in in the 60s

1:48:49

looks like an old

1:48:50

school steering wheel and that one that they have in 67 or 68 was when they

1:48:54

first came out with that

1:48:55

one that one starts to look like oh cars are going to get ugly now quickly the

1:48:59

last muscle car that i

1:49:00

like that that i that i vividly remember like the last year would probably be

1:49:04

the 70 camaro with like

1:49:06

that shark nose front tooth i like that and then there's a few there's a buick

1:49:10

riviera the boat tail

1:49:12

from the early 70s that i like um i'm really into those big two-door sedan sort

1:49:18

of like uh

1:49:19

you know he he's his own man kind of car oh yeah i love those cars i fucking

1:49:25

love those cars and um

1:49:26

you know i'm trying to think like there's a few cars in the 80s they really tapers

1:49:32

off though but i like

1:49:33

ford trucks right up into 86 i didn't like when they did the first that first

1:49:38

design of the

1:49:38

aerodynamic headlights i didn't like but then there was one in the early 90s

1:49:41

um the one oj had that front end on his bronco that one is the yeah i saw one

1:49:47

yesterday exactly like

1:49:48

like oj's like totally restored i i like muscle cars up into 71. 71 seems like

1:49:56

the last year like

1:49:57

71 barracuda still a really nice car then it gets into 72 they start looking

1:50:01

sketchy 73 they look

1:50:02

sketchy the worst thing was they kept the they kept the model name and then it

1:50:07

was just completely

1:50:08

de-balled yes like when your friend starts going out with just some total cunt

1:50:13

and all of a sudden

1:50:14

he can't hang out anymore like there was that era you know the mustang 2 cobra

1:50:19

oh yeah once they got

1:50:21

into the 80s with mustangs they were useless the late late 70s early 80s and

1:50:26

once the gas crisis hit

1:50:28

they started making economical mustangs mustangs that didn't eat so much gas

1:50:32

they were useless

1:50:33

it's just a it's a hard fall between if you go from 67 to 77 it's like what the

1:50:40

happened to you and also the mustang got all fat like the mach 1 and everything

1:50:44

it just it was like

1:50:45

kind of got into its elvish years you know hey i'm the mustang i'm resting on

1:50:49

my laurels here

1:50:51

well there's no pizzazz to them you know like late late 70s 79 mustang there's

1:50:55

no pizzazz this is

1:50:56

how bad it went it became so quickly if you watch like the remember the game

1:51:00

show network i used to

1:51:01

love that because i i was in fascinated with prices you know and like they

1:51:06

would be like uh like they

1:51:08

actually tried to pass off a chevy vega as a sports car really and these people

1:51:12

were losing their minds

1:51:14

and i remember the chevy vega like a lot of like you know guys who knew about

1:51:19

cars back in the day

1:51:20

they would try to like jam corvette engines into because they couldn't afford a

1:51:24

corvette so they but

1:51:25

they knew about you know how to build cars and stuff so they were real light

1:51:28

too yeah there was always

1:51:30

somebody had one of those like an el camino up on blocks yeah i'm gonna finish

1:51:34

that someday man

1:51:35

yeah and el camino is a rare breed of person that wants a pickup truck that's

1:51:39

the chevelle that's

1:51:41

really what it is it's like a chevelle front end it looks good in the front and

1:51:45

then you get to the

1:51:46

back like oh and then i and then the early the 80s look at that look at that vega

1:51:50

yeah that was

1:51:50

considered sporty that's back before girls had butts um well girls with butts

1:51:55

didn't get put on tv

1:51:57

not funny yeah that's another amazing thing like how do we what what what

1:52:01

happened when we realized was

1:52:02

it sir mix a lot like what woke us up yeah he made the ass mainstream i'm gonna

1:52:07

give him credit might

1:52:08

have been before that who else was it it was all about tits yeah white guys

1:52:15

were running shit and it

1:52:17

was about tits i don't know why it was all about titties something happened

1:52:23

something happened and it

1:52:25

became uh asses became really important but then i think like yeah because now

1:52:30

the fake ass

1:52:32

i think is probably more prevalent than the fake like remember by the 90s was

1:52:37

like sort of the apex

1:52:39

of the fake titty you'd watch porn and the tit almost looked like bloodshot

1:52:42

there'd be like veins

1:52:43

on the side like they'd stretch the skin you see oh yeah that was really bad

1:52:47

that was a really bad

1:52:48

yeah fat bottom girls before that yeah before it but yeah i don't think i don't

1:52:53

think yeah they

1:52:54

didn't he was still freddie mercury prancing around in the video i think for

1:52:57

that yeah good song though

1:53:00

yeah what was it like where who was like no it wasn't jennifer lopez god bless

1:53:07

him because i was

1:53:08

always an ass man always i always just felt like that was the nucleus of a

1:53:12

woman if she had a nice

1:53:13

ass the rest of her body was going to be nice i didn't give a shitty guy eat

1:53:16

cup tasty great they

1:53:17

won't be hanging on your knees when i'm 50. bald smoking a cigar doing a

1:53:21

podcast

1:53:24

it's weird though that the like the shape caught on it's very strange like the

1:53:29

what what's injured

1:53:31

what what guys are attracted to changed well i think because white people were

1:53:36

so dominant

1:53:38

with fucking owning everything that their idea of beauty became

1:53:42

the standard and just generally speaking idea beauty changed too that's what's

1:53:47

strange

1:53:47

it's like i would say it's somewhere yo mtv raps somewhere around there

1:53:54

just making up somewhere around there i'm gonna give ed lover and the other dr

1:54:00

dre

1:54:00

credit i think it's it happened around the same time girls lost their pubes

1:54:05

because when we were in high school all everyone had pubes even in college

1:54:11

everyone had pubes

1:54:12

the apex of pubes was the 70s yeah but you were proud of your pubes in the 70s

1:54:19

in the 70s yeah

1:54:20

dude i remember like you'd go to the public pool and the chicks

1:54:24

had like the bikini it was like coming out the sides

1:54:27

and i remember thinking while i was a little kid like oh my god he can see your

1:54:31

pubes

1:54:37

yeah pubes were hot now pubes are disgusting it was muffs yeah if you're a girl

1:54:42

and you got a full

1:54:43

bush now you're a dangerous woman but then i would say that that was probably

1:54:48

dr j in the aba crossing

1:54:52

over made women proud of their muffs what just my joke i mean there's no

1:54:58

research we just started

1:55:00

talking just making this up but there's it there is a clear shift that happened

1:55:05

it's just like what

1:55:06

happened what what made that clear shift porn caused the people to get rid of

1:55:10

the pubes that's

1:55:11

definitely what happened because porn led the way they they trimmed the pubes

1:55:15

first and then

1:55:15

everybody trimmed the pubes and now it went too far yeah now no one has pubes

1:55:20

no then it

1:55:20

went too far yeah too far yeah like a little bush yeah i would like yeah you

1:55:24

should look like a woman

1:55:26

yeah yeah not like a cancer patient yeah yeah so listen if you're banging me i'm

1:55:34

just happy

1:55:35

happy you showed up god bless you take it on for the team yeah you can find

1:55:39

beauty in everything but

1:55:40

when i was a kid i mean everyone had pubes it was a thing it is a that's a

1:55:46

weird

1:55:47

weird moment in our our culture that we all just decided pubes are disgusting

1:55:52

i think more that they need to be maintained yes if there's going to be a

1:55:57

camera an eighth of an inch

1:55:59

from it and then

1:56:04

gynecological yeah so so what's this movie you did uh it did this movie is

1:56:11

called the king of staten

1:56:12

island uh judd apatow pete davidson look at your mustache oh yeah oh you need

1:56:17

one of those in your

1:56:18

life why don't you grow one of those um keep it it was really annoying to eat

1:56:24

with because club soda

1:56:25

kenny told me i because he was the guy i was saying am i doing this this right

1:56:29

here because

1:56:29

there's a whole way to grow it where it's like he goes all right he goes if you're

1:56:33

gonna do the cop

1:56:34

fireman one he goes the hair has to go over the over your top lip and kenny had

1:56:39

all these great old

1:56:40

ids from when he was a cop and um what is this movie about it's uh it's sort of

1:56:49

autobiographical um

1:56:52

of pete davidson's life where he's playing a kid whose dad is a firefighter who

1:56:57

died in a fire

1:56:58

it's not 9 11 like pete's real dad um and it's basically his mom hasn't dated

1:57:05

they just sort of

1:57:06

froze which i you know i think was something that kind of happened in in his

1:57:11

family and then all of

1:57:13

a sudden his mother started dating and it was weird for him so basically uh his

1:57:17

mother you know through

1:57:20

whatever circumstances don't ruin it i end up meeting her after me and pete you

1:57:24

know his character i don't

1:57:26

like his and i'm coming to his house to yell or whatever and then i see his his

1:57:31

mom played by marissa

1:57:32

tomei and then all of a sudden you know you know we click or whatever we start

1:57:36

dating whatever and

1:57:37

then he hates it and the comedy ensues but it's you know it's got a lot of

1:57:42

heart you know it's not

1:57:43

100 comedy but um yeah marissa tomei uh dom lombardozzi uh steve buscemi no it's

1:57:52

streaming

1:57:52

everywhere except netflix it's uh it's gonna be like it's like that movie that

1:57:56

kid movie trolls whatever

1:57:58

they did is what universal is doing with this one where it's going to be

1:58:00

anywhere where you can stream

1:58:01

movies so it's supposed to be in the movie theater it was going to be the movie

1:58:04

theater and then all

1:58:05

this stuff happened yeah so then uh people who make movies are deciding uh we're

1:58:09

going to hold on to

1:58:10

some of this stuff which they're doing with some movies this thing fortunately

1:58:13

they're going to put

1:58:14

out there it is apple tv verizon youtube google play amazon prime basically why

1:58:20

wouldn't netflix hop on

1:58:22

board with this come on netflix um i don't think there's a it's a come on netflix

1:58:26

thing i think

1:58:27

eventually it'll probably end up there but i think first they do this this is

1:58:30

the way they're

1:58:30

going to get their box office i guess you get it on microsoft how many people

1:58:34

are buying movies on

1:58:35

microsoft you'd be surprised i would be that's why i'm asking there would be i

1:58:39

would think

1:58:40

that's such an easy answer you'd be surprised that's like a that was like a

1:58:47

political answer i had no

1:58:49

answer for you let the record show many people are buying it on microsoft um

1:58:54

yeah so do you think

1:58:57

this is a good thing that movies are being forced to stream i kind of like it i

1:59:01

mean i don't want

1:59:02

movie theaters to go under but i do like the option of being able to watch a

1:59:06

newly released movie at home

1:59:08

yeah i think everything's going to adapt but i don't think the movie theater is

1:59:11

ever going to go away

1:59:12

because i i i still enjoy going to the movies it's also it's a way to get out

1:59:16

of the house you get a

1:59:17

sitter you you reconnect with your wife that's right we're friends popcorn this

1:59:21

is fun all of a sudden

1:59:22

your jokes come back right you're having fun oh like anytime i hang with my

1:59:27

wife like if if we get

1:59:28

like uh a couple days away it the magic instant oh yeah instant comes back and

1:59:33

then when we get back

1:59:34

to the house it's like the grind again and we just start laughing we're like we

1:59:38

gotta remember we gotta

1:59:39

remember those two days so the key is to have those two day little things

1:59:43

enough that you don't forget it

1:59:44

so you don't start fucking growing apart do you guys do date nights yeah yeah i

1:59:48

do date nights for

1:59:49

my wife we were doing them when i was when i was at the store all the time when

1:59:53

comedy was up

1:59:53

uh i was doing them on saturday night because she didn't have to get up early

1:59:57

in the morning

1:59:58

for the kids take the kids to school so she could be rested and refreshed didn't

2:00:02

have to go to

2:00:02

school the next day so didn't have to get up on sunday so it was a it was a

2:00:06

good day so i just

2:00:07

would take sunday off a stand up yeah we do date nights and this is the thing

2:00:11

as much as women seem

2:00:13

impossible to guys especially someone like me with all my fucking issues it's

2:00:17

like just something like

2:00:18

that does wonders yeah for your your connection and um then we also had like

2:00:26

once a week we were doing

2:00:27

like uh before we got pregnant again we were doing uh a family dinner and that

2:00:33

was the best and what

2:00:34

we were going to was a bunch of like uh just mom and pop places in like the

2:00:39

valley and out in pasadena

2:00:41

and stuff like that are these places that are just you know legendary in you

2:00:45

know in that area but they

2:00:46

don't have a chain so it's cool because you feel like you're giving you know

2:00:49

regular people

2:00:51

money and business and we would go there and when like that was a big thing

2:00:54

when i was growing up

2:00:55

before you had all these screens and all of this going out to dinner with your

2:00:59

family yeah i remember

2:01:01

being excited they used to have this chain in massachusetts remember pewter pot

2:01:04

yeah they basically

2:01:06

they made muffins somehow they were a chain that made muffins and then they

2:01:09

expanded into having full

2:01:11

dinners and everything was made out of wood it was very like uh 70s and that

2:01:15

was like a big thing

2:01:17

my dad came out we're going to pewter pot tonight and you were like psyched and

2:01:21

i would always get

2:01:22

whatever like cheeseburger and fries and then a blueberry muffin such a weird

2:01:26

order but i was a

2:01:27

kid and you wouldn't get fat it was awesome so i want my kids to have a little

2:01:32

bit of that that sort

2:01:34

of um i don't know i'm probably romancing it but i think it's it's because it

2:01:38

was from my childhood

2:01:39

but i think it's an important thing to do like that yeah i'm a big fan of mom

2:01:42

and pop restaurants

2:01:43

there's a place we used to go to in uh woodland hills called brandy wine and

2:01:47

the uh owner uh peggy

2:01:49

and chris the owners there was the the owners one the female owner was the chef

2:01:54

and the male owner

2:01:55

was the maitre d and they were a married couple they've been together forever

2:01:59

and they went when

2:02:00

we met them they were probably i want to say in their 70s like pretty deep in

2:02:06

their 70s there was

2:02:07

they were already fair fairly along pretty far down the road there and they

2:02:11

eventually sold the place

2:02:13

they sold the place when it was sad you know and then some new people bought it

2:02:16

but i think it went

2:02:17

under now but uh it was a great little place a small place it didn't seat very

2:02:21

many do you know i get

2:02:22

over that sadness i get old because that really used to depress me what i look

2:02:26

at was like you know

2:02:28

when they opened this restaurant and they were young there was old people that

2:02:31

were upset about

2:02:32

whatever they cleared out and it just happens you know what i mean like well i

2:02:36

was just upset that

2:02:37

i couldn't see them you know i just enjoyed their company it was it was always

2:02:40

you know we had been

2:02:41

going there for 10 years it was one of those places what i do is i take the

2:02:44

humanity out of it joe

2:02:47

it's a cycle of life it's just like the praying mantis and the lizard i know

2:02:51

dude i tell you this

2:02:52

fucking this fucking uh this whole quarantine thing really i like i never

2:03:00

realized what a

2:03:01

fucking idiot i am yeah you're telling me that you were just everything i'm

2:03:05

doing why the

2:03:06

did i just do this why did this need to be on here you want why joe no big deal

2:03:11

you're a clean

2:03:12

freak or something look at me i'm i'm cutting up his ashes like it's coke

2:03:15

yeah that takes me back to chelsea going around the apex

2:03:20

i have a cocaine memory from uh i never did coke but uh of this lady doing it i

2:03:26

was coming home from

2:03:27

kelly's roast beef joe rogan coke wow that's what i'm saying i'm smart enough

2:03:31

to realize it's not for

2:03:32

me yeah well what about me yeah we were driving i i can snap on weed i don't

2:03:39

need to be doing coke

2:03:41

weed and an espresso and you're ready to fight we were uh driving back from kelly's

2:03:46

roast beef do you

2:03:47

remember kelly's roast beef from revere yeah great you know what's so funny i

2:03:49

don't think i ever went

2:03:50

there really i drove by it a million times i was going by cappy's liquors on

2:03:54

the way up to the kowloon

2:03:55

roast beef was great remember cappy's liquors yeah i do yeah near kowloon yeah

2:04:00

you drive up there

2:04:00

kelly's roast beef had clams too didn't they have clams those fried clams i

2:04:05

always that was one of

2:04:07

those places i meant to get to i always meant to get to that and then that

2:04:09

steakhouse with the giant

2:04:11

cactus oh yeah that's right i'm gonna eat that place what the fuck was that

2:04:15

hilltop steakhouse yes

2:04:16

yes and i was gonna eat there someday i always asked my because i just love the

2:04:20

cows the fake cows

2:04:21

out front and we were living on the north shore then so we would drive my dad

2:04:25

into work and we would

2:04:26

always go down uh route one and we would go buy that and i would think like you

2:04:30

know and there was

2:04:31

also a a hockey rink up there that had a bruins emblem that they were allowed

2:04:35

to use before like all

2:04:36

the um the corporate people really like you can't use our logo so that bruins

2:04:40

thing and i was convinced

2:04:42

that's where the bruins practiced i went to hilltop steakhouse once and it was

2:04:46

for some reason i

2:04:48

have it connected in my mind with a boxing match that was on tv because i was

2:04:52

so bummed out uh sugar ray

2:04:55

leonard fought terry norris and uh i know that name i should say terry norris

2:05:00

was a monster and so

2:05:02

so was sugar ray when he was in his prime but he got older and he fought terry

2:05:05

norris and terry norris was

2:05:07

a fucking just a demon he was so good and sugar ray just had no business

2:05:11

fighting him and i remember

2:05:13

eating food just being bummed out just just thinking fuck is this just what

2:05:18

happens to all these guys

2:05:20

like like they all decide they all decide one more fight one more fight let me

2:05:26

let me do it and he

2:05:27

came back and beat a few see if you can find that couldn't you imagine if your

2:05:30

body broke down in around

2:05:31

35 you couldn't do stand-up anymore you definitely try to go for one more set

2:05:35

yeah but it's different

2:05:36

it's different it is i thought it was the same you're right it's terry terry

2:05:40

norris totally different

2:05:41

was in his prime and he was just so fast and elite and sugar ray was just i

2:05:46

want to say he was like

2:05:47

38 or something like that i don't know how old he was but it was it was hard to

2:05:52

watch

2:05:52

from madison square garden in new york but that's not something i when i think

2:05:57

of sugar ray leonard i

2:05:58

don't think i mean what what about that division he was in oh my god dude hearns

2:06:02

duran and leonard

2:06:05

well he fought haggler long you know i mean he came back and fought haggler and

2:06:10

then haggler retired

2:06:12

after that one loss he's just like i'm good but it was just watching terry norris

2:06:17

yeah he went to

2:06:18

italy and started making movies yeah hilarious movies i had a buddy of mine

2:06:21

that is convinced

2:06:22

that fight was fixed i think by the italian mob and then his payoff was they

2:06:26

gave him a movie career

2:06:27

in italy it might be true your buddy might be right there's something about it

2:06:31

that i've watched i'm

2:06:32

like man it almost looks like haggler's taking something off of his punches and

2:06:36

also i just don't

2:06:37

see him doing that i don't think i don't see him ever doing that that's why but

2:06:41

i also didn't see him

2:06:42

retiring i think he might have gotten on a decision on that fight because that

2:06:47

fight could i really felt

2:06:48

could have i was such a hearns i'm a hagler fan and i also what about what

2:06:53

about tommy hearns being as

2:06:55

tall as he was but could make that weight um when he fought sugar ray i think

2:07:00

he was only 22 and he was uh

2:07:02

147 and sugar ray stopped him after angelo dundee gave him that that speech in

2:07:08

the corner you're

2:07:08

blowing it kid you remember that i'll never forget that i don't you know the

2:07:12

one i remember one of the

2:07:13

greatest ones i saw a corner guy was that uh corrales castillo fight oh and

2:07:19

when he gets in the

2:07:20

corner and he'd been knocked down uh for like i don't know how many times kept

2:07:25

spitting out his

2:07:26

mouthpiece and they took away a point or something he gets he goes into his

2:07:29

corner and i remember his his

2:07:30

his his manager or whatever whatever you call the guy is in the corner he goes

2:07:34

he goes you better

2:07:35

fucking get inside now i don't even know what that means i forget he said that

2:07:38

and then this

2:07:39

fucking guy charlie murphy rest his soul told me about that fight he's like

2:07:42

bill you gotta see this

2:07:44

fight he goes i woke up my whole family it was a wild ass fight and he actually

2:07:49

charlie he was such a

2:07:50

funny guy man he hurt his foot that's how much he was into it like when he came

2:07:55

back after getting

2:07:57

knocked down and then knocked out the other guy i always forget corrales castillo

2:08:00

uh was uh corrales

2:08:02

is is is the guy who won that fight right well they fought more than once i

2:08:05

believe um diego corrales

2:08:08

yeah he's the guy and he died on a motorcycle exactly i was gonna say yeah

2:08:12

terrible yeah i'll tell you an

2:08:13

underrated fight when i back this back when i had time i used to watch this was

2:08:17

uh evander holyfield

2:08:19

versus michael dokes oh do you remember that fight that was a great one that

2:08:23

was a great fight holy

2:08:24

field had so many great fights what do you think he was a that guy was a

2:08:28

warrior is yeah coming back

2:08:30

do you know that i don't want to see that he's training michael mike tyson's

2:08:35

training they're both

2:08:36

training in their 50s yeah here it is michael dokes yeah it was i mean it's

2:08:44

just amazing how much

2:08:46

longevity holyfield had and holyfield started as a cruiserweight i remember

2:08:50

when he beat dwight

2:08:51

muhammad kawi for the cruiserweight title and then uh gained all this weight to

2:08:56

go up i remember when

2:08:57

he was a cruiserweight in the 80s when i was lifting and i was young and all

2:09:00

that shit i was like that's

2:09:02

that's the body i want that's what i'm going for of course i couldn't get it

2:09:05

but i was like that's

2:09:06

the shape i want to be in how stupid i look if i look like that oh you look

2:09:10

amazing going on stage

2:09:11

telling jokes just wear something that covers it up a little bit what a poncho

2:09:15

like going out with a big square body josie wales yeah

2:09:21

yeah you flip it over and you got a mikey take it out

2:09:25

yeah oh my god this is round look at the people standing up i mean this was

2:09:31

just

2:09:32

did you oh man now watch stokes oh right hand that's it they stop it that was

2:09:37

it

2:09:38

richard steel was the same guy that stopped julio cesar chavez and meldrick taylor

2:09:42

with like two

2:09:43

seconds left to go in the final round when meldrick taylor was up on the fight

2:09:50

and julio cesar

2:09:50

chavez dropped him meldrick taylor got up and richard c was like yeah are you

2:09:56

are you ready to go on

2:09:57

dude he has more muscle in his trapezi whatever the fuck that's called and i

2:10:00

traps i have in my

2:10:01

whole fucking body he's he's a specimen holyfield was a specimen what's

2:10:06

interesting about holyfield

2:10:08

too he was like the first guy that ever really put weight on successfully like

2:10:13

he had this uh this

2:10:14

crazy strength and conditioning program that he did to go up to heavyweight

2:10:18

where you know he was

2:10:19

fairly thin when he was a cruiserweight and started lifting weights and lifting

2:10:23

weights back then

2:10:24

most people thought lifting weights was terrible for you there was a lot that

2:10:28

was a big thing in

2:10:29

basketball don't lift weights it's going to up your shot they thought you were

2:10:32

going to like

2:10:32

send the ball past them well you know what it is it's from being stiff and sore

2:10:36

when you're stiff

2:10:37

and sore it does you up it's it fucks you up with boxing it fucks you up

2:10:40

everything but it's a matter

2:10:42

of doing it correctly so that you your body recovers enough so that when you

2:10:46

actually fight you're not

2:10:47

stiff and sore but you have all that extra muscle this is great by the way cars

2:10:51

fights cigars

2:10:52

cigars praying mantises men stuff come on yes i love it right yeah yeah though

2:10:58

that that era of boxing

2:11:00

man those are the the golden era when we were kids my god you know abc wide

2:11:04

world of sports

2:11:06

get up and watch the fights yeah i remember watching the leon spinks uh muhammad

2:11:11

ali they they showed it

2:11:12

on tv it must have been a replay i remember watching that and just kept

2:11:16

thinking muhammad ali was going to

2:11:17

come back it was the one that he lost yeah uh against leon spinks uh i also

2:11:22

remember the the

2:11:24

the uh mike tyson uh michael spinks fight and i remember the pizza didn't even

2:11:31

get there

2:11:32

and i remember my buddy was all excited dude my dad ordered the fight and they

2:11:36

had just finished their

2:11:37

basement and we went downstairs and we were sitting there to watch it that it

2:11:41

was over in like 90 seconds

2:11:43

and i just remember my buddy he got off the couch and he was on all fours like

2:11:46

an inch from the tv

2:11:48

just screaming what the what the because we didn't understand there wasn't the

2:11:53

education mainstream

2:11:55

education of what a body blow did to you so unless somebody got hit in the head

2:11:59

and that mouthpiece

2:12:00

went flying we didn't understand because that last shotty was a hook to the

2:12:03

body and you didn't

2:12:04

understand like literally their internal organs just slammed to the other side

2:12:08

of their rib cage you

2:12:09

didn't understand that that was happening here it is here's the whole fight

2:12:12

yeah this was an amazing

2:12:14

amazing moment because spinks was another guy who went up from light heavyweight

2:12:18

beat larry holmes

2:12:19

and then became the heavyweight champion then is fighting tyson but yeah we

2:12:23

were yelling this spinks jinx

2:12:24

because we just wanted we were rooting for tyson but we wanted to see a fight

2:12:27

spinks had a good right

2:12:29

hand but he just you could see he's he's paralyzed here i mean he's fighting a

2:12:33

guy that's just so much

2:12:34

bigger than him and he's getting smashed mike tyson was just such a force in

2:12:38

nature at the time yeah

2:12:39

spinks just really had no business fighting legitimate heavyweights he fought

2:12:43

larry holmes

2:12:44

when larry was past his prime and you know beat larry by decision but oh i

2:12:50

thought he beat him bad

2:12:51

i thought like that was like oh no you know i'm thinking of was was the time

2:12:54

holmes fought ali yes and

2:12:56

he was looking over at the ref like what the are you gonna stop that was bad

2:13:00

people to the to the end of

2:13:02

larry holmes career didn't appreciate him because that they they loved ali so

2:13:06

much so you heard him

2:13:07

with this right hand here and then he's swarming on him oh i remember seeing

2:13:12

this video of muhammad ali

2:13:14

promoting here it is right here boom body shot he goes down

2:13:18

spinks gets up referee gives him an eight count he says i'm fine oh i thought

2:13:26

he went down on that

2:13:27

one that was a body shot and then he gets hit with a right hand right here tyson

2:13:30

steps

2:13:31

bing there it is oh that was oh flat i see i forgot about that yeah

2:13:35

he's just like this man his body's like this dude do you realize the balls it

2:13:44

takes to

2:13:45

walk oh you do you did it jesus christ i mean those guys you walk into an arena

2:13:51

shirtless scary

2:13:52

that's amazing what's really scary is it's like you think about it for weeks

2:13:57

and weeks up to it and

2:13:58

obviously i never did it at this level but at that level when the whole world

2:14:02

is watching and you know

2:14:04

that this is a just an enormous moment and you just got waylaid by one of the

2:14:08

greatest heavyweights of

2:14:10

all time and flattened that was a crazy you know i was watching about the uh he

2:14:15

was so fun to watch

2:14:17

because he annoyed so many people because he was so cocky and he had such a

2:14:21

weird style was that that

2:14:22

prince uh not to see oh my god is that guy fun to watch oh he was amazing you

2:14:26

know tyson had syphilis

2:14:27

in that or not something like that in that fight no that was uh buster douglas

2:14:31

did he yeah he had the

2:14:33

clap or something i think it was this right i think it was the fight he won

2:14:35

yeah the the fight when he

2:14:37

fought buster douglas he just didn't train very hard for it just really was

2:14:41

just dominating everybody

2:14:43

and just took it for granted and buster he still almost won still dropped buster

2:14:49

and to this day like

2:14:50

if you watch that fight when buster's down it's more than 10 seconds yeah but

2:14:54

the thing was he didn't go

2:14:55

to the corner fast enough i thought and he picked up the count i thought he

2:14:59

would have got up i don't

2:15:00

know i remember where i was when i watched that i remember all of that i was at

2:15:04

my buddy mitch's house

2:15:06

we were upstairs and on his square tv and i was like you know because you cheer

2:15:11

for the underdog

2:15:12

and he was all bummed out going i want to see mike lose and i was just like i

2:15:16

didn't realize what

2:15:17

i had lost as a sports fan because you're losing greatness not that he's not

2:15:23

great but you know what

2:15:24

i mean you wanted to see that undefeated right keep going thing and then

2:15:27

afterwards you know it's a

2:15:28

weird thing but the buster douglas in that fight you know the whole story

2:15:32

behind it his mom died yeah

2:15:34

and he was devastated and so he was always a really really talented guy that

2:15:37

just didn't work hard

2:15:38

enough but that fight he trained like a he trained like a real champion

2:15:42

probably because he came out

2:15:44

yeah didn't want to face didn't want to think about it so probably just focused

2:15:47

on he was that maybe also

2:15:48

he was like doing it he was dedicating it to his mom but he once again the

2:15:52

human element that i just

2:15:53

removed i just yeah you're you just i'm a robot i am i am is this what you're

2:16:01

finding out from this

2:16:03

the the pandemic being locked up and having too much alone time like that yeah

2:16:08

i understand i

2:16:09

understand my anger now i don't know how to fix it but i understand what is it

2:16:13

what is your anger

2:16:14

it's feeling like i'm not going to be heard and things are going to go in a way

2:16:19

i don't want them to

2:16:20

be so the second isn't there's a suggestion different than mine i catastrophize

2:16:25

in my head

2:16:26

and i don't just go be like well you know what actually i can't do that because

2:16:28

i'm doing joe's

2:16:29

podcast maybe i could do that tomorrow i just hear the information and feel

2:16:33

like i have no power and then

2:16:35

i go oh what the fuck then my wife's like i just asked a question and then i am

2:16:41

so up here i have to

2:16:43

like it takes it only takes me like two minutes and then i come in i put my

2:16:47

head to the side of her

2:16:48

head and i just go i'm sorry i don't tell you you married a up you blew it you're

2:16:56

not good you're not

2:16:57

good at reading people you have no one to blame but yourself like that i

2:17:01

apologize like an asshole

2:17:03

no my i and that's another thing too there's another thing too is i've i also

2:17:08

in this have

2:17:08

never loved my wife more you know gave me a son and it's just like it's one of

2:17:13

those things where

2:17:14

you know you just said that's a beautiful really sit there going like i am

2:17:20

really like i am way way

2:17:22

more of a fucking asshole than i thought i was i knew i was but i i didn't

2:17:25

think i was that bad

2:17:26

so you realize you've got issues but you don't know how to solve them that's

2:17:31

what it is

2:17:31

i i realized that i had issues that i thought i was passed that's what me up

2:17:38

but so you feel like

2:17:39

like all right so i've taken care of that now i can focus on this and it's like

2:17:43

no no this is still

2:17:44

in this pile you thought it was six feet high it's 12 feet high and it's it was

2:17:48

uh um yeah it was

2:17:52

demoralizing so don't you think no one is part of the way to fix it though yeah

2:17:56

but then you have

2:17:58

to go through the torture of it of because it's not like it's not like you know

2:18:03

like the dr phil episode

2:18:04

you need to understand you know fucking yellow people whatever the fuck and you

2:18:09

go okay thanks phil

2:18:10

and like you're just going to go do that it's it's like then then you have to

2:18:15

do the work and it's so

2:18:16

easy to just go back into your your yes it's a deep groove worn into your

2:18:21

personality and you're

2:18:22

trying to get out of the rut and it's just easy to go back into it and just be

2:18:27

on autopilot

2:18:28

that's why people like psychedelics because it separates you so much from who

2:18:34

you are you get a

2:18:35

chance to look at yourself it's one of the things that comes out of it i should

2:18:38

have done that when i

2:18:39

was younger can't do it now like right now on this podcast i don't think i don't

2:18:44

think a little bit

2:18:45

of a professional i'm supposed to be promoting one of these feature films we've

2:18:48

already done it

2:18:49

we've promoted it looks great i'm excited i'm excited to see you with a

2:18:52

mustache

2:18:52

oh so you're saying i'm done and then i can now do this you could do a little

2:18:58

drugs

2:18:58

just a little mushrooms be good for you listen joe i know you're an influencer

2:19:03

but you ain't gonna win on

2:19:04

this one influencer that's a dirty word to me i will be uh kids get out of the

2:19:13

house and they're

2:19:14

fucking great people hopefully if i did the job then then so when they're 18

2:19:19

okay we'll go when

2:19:20

they're 18 i'm gonna take you somewhere all right when i'm 70 and you're 71

2:19:24

yeah we'll get blasted

2:19:25

together on mushrooms yeah i'll finally get that catalog the pacific northwest

2:19:28

which will be burnt to the

2:19:30

ground once they the the looters take over those six blocks they're eventually

2:19:33

going to expand to 12

2:19:35

there'll be no more seattle the trees will regrow yeah don't say that how great

2:19:39

you ever played the

2:19:40

more theater love it there it's great i love sea i love seattle i'm a big fan i

2:19:44

used to love that uh

2:19:45

bellevue place the the pool hall that was a it was a pool hall connected to a

2:19:50

comedy club remember that

2:19:52

did you ever do that place i never did that one went under went under real

2:19:55

recently it was

2:19:56

great trying to remember the name of the place but it was in bellevue and uh i

2:20:02

first went there with

2:20:03

calen calen was the one who told me about it i was like this is this is my

2:20:06

dream a pool hall connected

2:20:08

to a comedy club this is the greatest thing i've ever heard of i love that guy

2:20:11

he he's one of the fastest

2:20:13

minds that's unbelievable how funny that guy is it's very funny dude there it

2:20:19

is the parlor yeah permanently

2:20:22

closed talented guy too i saw him one time with the bow and arrow just talking

2:20:27

all of this and somebody

2:20:29

hit him he hit a bullseye and then he did the next one he split his arrow

2:20:33

talking the

2:20:34

whole time yes where'd you do this at this guy's house that had one of those

2:20:38

things that was

2:20:38

dead luck brian is a terrible archery he doesn't know jack about archery hey

2:20:43

listen i know what i saw

2:20:45

were you dreaming no i saw this he talked the whole time and he did it it was

2:20:50

great it was like i was

2:20:51

watching a movie i bought him a bow listen i gotta tell you something i think

2:20:55

you need to move him a

2:20:56

little bit higher up in your brain he's one of my best friends that's how you

2:20:59

talk about a friend

2:21:00

i love him i bought him a bow i bought him a hoyt carbon spider really nice bow

2:21:06

never used it once

2:21:07

he goes wait i gotta use that bow i gotta use that bow one day i'm like get a

2:21:11

he's probably

2:21:12

doing he's probably standing on the string doing curls knowing him maybe he

2:21:16

boxes likes to go to the

2:21:18

boxing gym likes to mix it up he goes in there it's bars i'm like brian you're

2:21:22

gonna get brain

2:21:23

damage you're 53 years old you can't be getting punched in the face yeah but he's

2:21:27

like a jason

2:21:28

statham 53 because you gotta you have to know that dude now that we're these

2:21:37

old fucks

2:21:38

okay we're hanging in there because you see people i see at this point i

2:21:43

remember that's when i first

2:21:44

felt old was when i would meet people after shows and i'd be like oh this guy's

2:21:48

got at least five

2:21:49

years on me and i find out they were five years younger than me like i'd be

2:21:52

like 33 i'd be looking

2:21:53

you're 28 and he was like a real 28 married three kids and i saw what that

2:21:57

looked like you know uh you

2:22:01

know you know this business this business you get on like like i love the

2:22:04

harassing to a point on uh

2:22:07

on social media harassing the yo hey uh you know hey billy booze face hey billy

2:22:14

fat tits and all that

2:22:15

like that motivates me like i look you gotta honestly look at yourself like

2:22:19

they're right yeah they're

2:22:20

hanging a little bit i need i need to do some push-ups they will fucking bully

2:22:26

you into getting

2:22:27

and it's all how you process the information no yeah there's something to that

2:22:33

yeah this look you're

2:22:35

talking about fat shaming i'm telling you that if i wasn't in this business i

2:22:38

would be a fat fuck

2:22:40

i'd get those blonde oreo cookies root beer floats i would be fucking hammering

2:22:46

that shit

2:22:47

so be in the business and then and then yeah because then on twitter i would

2:22:51

just have the

2:22:51

fucking the the picture just the egg one you know when nobody knows who you are

2:22:55

and i could be a fat

2:22:56

being like you know just giving people you got a little fatter since the last

2:23:01

movie i would have

2:23:02

a blast doing that how's your shoulder it's great it's better because i've been

2:23:07

uh i finally that was

2:23:09

was another thing is this like the shoulder thing also caused me that i had to

2:23:14

slow down

2:23:15

and like the patience you need to rehab it like you're sitting there with like

2:23:22

at first it's just

2:23:23

the weight of your arm doing the crawls up the wall then you lay on your side

2:23:27

then it's just the weight

2:23:28

of your arm and then a tuna can then i went into a can of clams and now i'm up

2:23:34

to the pink weight the one

2:23:36

pounder and then this is the big this is the big tipping point when you go from

2:23:40

one pound to two

2:23:41

pound as ridiculous as that sound you're increasing the weight load by a

2:23:45

hundred percent and that's

2:23:46

when you get hurt because you want to get like i used to be able to do like 15

2:23:50

pound you know 20

2:23:51

pound 25 those those sets you used to do yeah and now i if i've you know when

2:23:56

it's really hurting

2:23:57

i reach for some salt i'm like it resets it so what i do is i just get slowly

2:24:02

work my way up to

2:24:03

three sets of 20 and then when i go to two pounds when i do it i'll just do

2:24:07

three sets of three so i'm

2:24:09

way beneath the weight load that i did and then you gradually it requires all

2:24:14

of this patience that i

2:24:15

don't fucking have what is wrong with it um this one i had a bursitis this one

2:24:20

i actually i i

2:24:21

fucked up something else and this one is totally fine now but i'm not using it

2:24:25

as much because i'm not

2:24:26

using this one so i i do the rehab on both sides just to keep them equal i've

2:24:30

been doing a lot of

2:24:31

core work a lot of back that i never did which is how my shoulder got up

2:24:35

because i just did the 80s

2:24:36

things you know this did everything up here right what i could see i worked on

2:24:40

so all back here was

2:24:41

like we can't hold this so everything my my shoulders bowed in and one was

2:24:46

higher than the other

2:24:47

and then eventually it just got pinched yeah yeah i just do these fucking

2:24:51

things i know that's for

2:24:52

this but i didn't do anything for your shoulders too for the middle of my back

2:24:56

or lower back all of

2:24:57

this i don't know what the i'm talking about you ever use bands yeah bands are

2:25:00

a good way to not get

2:25:01

hurt i'm a big fan there's a a product called uh crossover symmetry and it's a

2:25:07

series of uh different

2:25:09

weight bands i'll show it to you out here i have it attached to one of the um

2:25:12

uh bars one of the cages

2:25:15

and these uh these bands they come in you know 15 pounds 25 pounds 40 pounds a

2:25:20

bunch of different

2:25:21

weights and you take these things and i do a whole series of exercises with my

2:25:25

shoulders it's great it

2:25:26

keeps everything strong and you're not really you know you're not pushing it

2:25:30

once once i get weights

2:25:31

yeah i'd like to look at that i'm not going to do it but once i get to a

2:25:34

certain level of strength

2:25:37

but the thing is you can do it it's not going to hurt you because you you're

2:25:39

not you're just doing

2:25:40

it lightly like you got a lawsuit coming your way buddy look this is oh i just

2:25:46

thought of

2:25:47

something i just forgot something that i learned about myself with that shit

2:25:50

that'll come to me

2:25:50

as far as like with rehabilitation yeah but it also came into my personality

2:25:56

just something that i i

2:25:57

kind of oh this is what i learned about myself and why i didn't miss stand up

2:26:02

because it was

2:26:02

freaking me out is because what i experienced as a kid straight across the

2:26:08

board uh made me go to this

2:26:11

mental place of like i don't care it i don't care i don't need it i don't give

2:26:17

a shit and that caused

2:26:18

that caused that's what caused everything to get walled off and that actually

2:26:22

feeds into rehabbing

2:26:24

injuries because it was a big moment for me where i got this

2:26:29

fucking console thing that i'm trying to put in my podcast studio and they're

2:26:34

supposed to deliver it

2:26:36

and bring it in there right so the day they were going to deliver it my wife

2:26:39

went into labor

2:26:41

so i went to the hospital and then they showed up and i didn't want them going

2:26:45

out in my garage i got

2:26:46

all my memorabilia and shit i just didn't want people in there unless i was

2:26:49

there so i said i just

2:26:50

have them drop it off i thought it was going to be a box and it was already

2:26:53

assembled and it was

2:26:54

fucking big right and it was also the weight load of it i was just i was like

2:26:59

ah fuck it if i keep

2:27:00

my arms in like this it's mostly biceps and i was going to do this and i was

2:27:02

going to do this stupid

2:27:04

german-irish fuck it and what it was going to do was going to set me back

2:27:09

once again like i had a big setback in february i had an acting gig and they

2:27:16

said hey it was just a

2:27:17

stupid little action thing there's a wall put your hands on it hop over can you

2:27:21

do that i'm like yeah

2:27:22

my shoulder feels pretty good and the second went like that i felt like

2:27:24

lightning go down my shoulder

2:27:25

and i was like ah fuck right back to the fucking tuna canning and all that shit

2:27:29

so i actually

2:27:30

had a friend come over we were gonna do it i said you know what dude i i i i

2:27:37

owe you a

2:27:38

a fucking dinner or something i'm not doing this and i called up this guy that

2:27:42

i knew who has a

2:27:43

construction company i go you got a couple of strong young guys that can just

2:27:46

move this thing in there

2:27:47

and i just had them do it and and like and that's like something that i'm

2:27:51

pushing through where

2:27:52

um it helps me as a comic it also helps me deal with highly emotional shit

2:27:58

because i can just shut

2:27:59

shit off and just do what i have to do which works like back in the day when

2:28:04

you're going to do letterman

2:28:06

which was fucking terrifying it's freezing cold and you just have to be like

2:28:10

fuck this just it's just

2:28:11

fucking people this is just a different shiny floor that's freaking me out and

2:28:15

there's an icon

2:28:16

sitting at that desk i i i had the tools to shut that off which is great for

2:28:21

that moment but it's

2:28:22

terrible for the rest of your fucking life like there's shit that's like i just

2:28:27

realized there's

2:28:28

this shit in me that i needed that i i have not dealt with death of friends all

2:28:34

of that

2:28:34

shit is just sitting in here and i think that's also like when people then go

2:28:41

like oh hey can you do

2:28:43

this oh what the fuck like like it's not all just that i'm not going to get

2:28:46

what i want a lot of that

2:28:48

is like you got all of this shit that you're sitting on so you're sitting on

2:28:52

all that and you haven't

2:28:54

so then it just it the only way for the steam to come out is like for you to

2:28:59

snap or whatever so

2:29:01

which is really not fair to the people around you to be honest with you so i

2:29:07

don't know have you

2:29:09

gone to therapy yeah yeah yeah what about meditating you ever meditate yeah but

2:29:17

i find the guy's voice

2:29:18

is fucking annoying you don't have to listen to a guy every time i'm getting

2:29:26

there he starts

2:29:27

fucking talking again and then he's using this really soothing caring voice

2:29:33

that makes me face

2:29:36

all of that shit that i didn't get growing up which makes me angry at this

2:29:40

person that's trying

2:29:41

to help me wow yeah quarantine is not a bad thing if from what it's worth you're

2:29:50

always fun to hang

2:29:51

around with i always enjoy your company i don't have any issues with any of

2:29:54

your crazy because i have

2:29:55

a crushing need to be liked so i tone down my cuntiness when i'm around you

2:30:06

listen my wife knows me hang out with her one time she'll tell you some stories

2:30:10

i'm sure yeah

2:30:12

well the you that i get i like if that helps you yeah you know the deal you don't

2:30:19

know anybody till

2:30:20

you live with them all right you know

2:30:25

i will not accept your compliments that's another part of my personality

2:30:28

who's the guy that's running the meditation app that's annoying you

2:30:35

do you know whose app you're using i don't want to put the guy on blast but

2:30:39

yeah i do

2:30:39

okay let me know and he's great he's great he's great what he's doing he's

2:30:43

trying to help people

2:30:44

i understand yeah you should do it without an app dude i got i have a story i

2:30:49

can't say i can't say

2:30:51

what i said nowadays i can't say what i said but i remember one time i was

2:30:55

playing pickup hockey

2:30:57

and i suck right but i'm having a good time out there i'm just you know i'm out

2:31:00

there trying to

2:31:00

get a sweat going right and you know i'm having my head down and we're playing

2:31:04

no contacting because

2:31:05

i had it was really my fault i had my head down on this guy knock me down on

2:31:09

the other team and he

2:31:10

goes are you all right yeah what i said to that guy i still regret

2:31:17

i was so mad at him that he was caring in that moment like and that's one of

2:31:23

those things it was

2:31:25

like what is wrong with me wow so you you're really trying to come to grips

2:31:31

with all this right now

2:31:32

yeah because i don't want to pass this on my kids that's what happens and it's

2:31:37

just like

2:31:39

yeah when people are like uh if people say my kids are not like me like i'm

2:31:45

like good

2:31:46

that's weird but i do think that a lot if they're like oh yeah he's you know

2:31:52

she's like you know happy

2:31:53

go like i'm like great like i forget what somebody said one time about my

2:31:57

daughter because she's like

2:31:59

she's this angel right and they made some sort of you know a comic made the

2:32:04

comment you know thinking it

2:32:05

was gonna hurt me and i was like yeah dude that's music to my ears i don't want

2:32:10

i don't want to be

2:32:10

like me but don't do you think they were trying to hurt you when they said it

2:32:15

no it was one of those

2:32:17

comic things where they don't have kids so and it was the guys and they don't

2:32:20

know what to say

2:32:21

so then they got to like make a joke like i had a buddy of mine a comedian on

2:32:27

my birthday he goes hey

2:32:29

happy destroying your mother's uterus day

2:32:31

and i just remember laughing going like oh there's a guy has to do a little

2:32:37

more work than i have to

2:32:39

or you're just i can say i can say i know but i mean i know what it is it was a

2:32:44

boston comic

2:32:45

and he couldn't just say happy birthday because that would be gay right so he

2:32:51

has to

2:32:52

go to so over correct that has to go to that level it's so stupid it's probably

2:32:58

why guys die before

2:33:00

women you hang on to and there's all that stuff you know you can't say you

2:33:05

enjoy a sunset

2:33:06

joe you can't do that why can't you shut up but i know why i know you do i know

2:33:13

but the thing about

2:33:14

you is you can also beat the out of most people in a room so you got that so

2:33:18

people can

2:33:18

be like oh wow you know they actually want to hear that from you when they see

2:33:23

you spinning heel

2:33:24

kick they want to know that you enjoy a sunset because like i don't want if

2:33:27

this guy's as angry

2:33:28

as i am and can do all of that what are my odds of getting out of here so you

2:33:32

want to see that out

2:33:33

of a guy like you but a guy like you don't want to see it don't want to see you

2:33:37

enjoying a sunset

2:33:39

joe i don't read i don't i don't know what it is i am too i am too in here to

2:33:46

understand me

2:33:48

this is interesting i have a very i have a very weird thing i have an alley of

2:33:54

my personality that

2:33:55

works that i somehow turned into a living yeah but the rest of it looks like fred

2:34:00

sanford's yard

2:34:01

old radiators and bed frames and shit it's a mess it's interesting because i've

2:34:09

never seen you this

2:34:10

introspective where you're really trying to work it out you're really thinking

2:34:13

about it more than i've

2:34:14

ever seen you think about it before you've always joked around about it you

2:34:18

know in all the years

2:34:20

i've known you it's always been a part of the things you talk about but it

2:34:24

seems uh much more

2:34:26

at the forefront of your consciousness right now like something you really need

2:34:29

to work on you really

2:34:30

realize like this is i gotta fix this yeah i think it started last year doing

2:34:35

the movie oh he brings back

2:34:37

at the movie um it was there was a bunch of that i had to play that i never had

2:34:44

to play before you want

2:34:45

me to be a loud fucking asshole i can do that but then all of a sudden like uh

2:34:51

i had a lot of anxiety

2:34:52

about a lot of the stuff like my character had two kids and like the first time

2:34:56

i meet the kids it's

2:34:57

classic acting where it's just like you just show up i remember i took this

2:35:02

acting class this guy brendan

2:35:05

hughes he was great he was saying like he was talking about what it's like to

2:35:07

go on a movie set

2:35:08

it's just like how you have to have access to all these emotions because you're

2:35:11

showing up

2:35:12

and it's just like okay uh you're this guy and this is your dad and your mother

2:35:17

just died and action

2:35:18

and it's just like what because that's the way it goes it just goes real quick

2:35:22

so yeah so i have to

2:35:24

play like this uh so i got two kids here so the first day i met them we had to

2:35:30

do the family photo

2:35:32

they wanted to have one of those things in the background for a scene so you

2:35:34

have to and i'm

2:35:35

sitting there going like ah you know i gotta i gotta act like i love these kids

2:35:41

the way i love my kids

2:35:42

like and that was really confronting for me as far as how i'm wired well you i

2:35:48

don't need

2:35:48

anybody so uh i i had like a panic attack before like really even that thing

2:35:56

like just being like

2:35:57

just that comic thing where uh you're just like dude i just i stand on stage i

2:36:02

do

2:36:02

shit jokes for a hour you give the check and then i leave i smoke a cigar it's

2:36:07

leave me alone right and this thing here it's like no you you're now on a

2:36:11

schedule

2:36:12

somebody tells you where you have to be so like you know i was like a cat on a

2:36:15

leash

2:36:16

all of a sudden like yeah i have to be all these places so i was freaking out

2:36:19

about that

2:36:19

and then the the i had to do the picture with the kids so what i did was

2:36:24

i just i got myself into a really silly mood and i was deliberately i was

2:36:30

joking with all the other

2:36:31

actors i was making fun of myself i was joking with anybody that had anything

2:36:35

to do with the movie

2:36:36

i got this really silly stupid move and i just to get myself in that headspace

2:36:40

and then i met them

2:36:41

i started joking around about what i look like and this is what your dad looked

2:36:44

like and then they

2:36:45

started laughing so when they took the picture we were actually laughing about

2:36:48

a joke i was making

2:36:49

about myself and then i looked at the pictures and they they looked they looked

2:36:53

real they looked like

2:36:54

i love these kids so i got over that hurdle so like throughout the shoot you

2:36:59

know obviously the

2:37:00

shit yelling at pete it's like i can fucking do that all day but all that other

2:37:04

stuff and it's like

2:37:06

okay and you know jeb would be like okay and then you meet margie and you're smitten

2:37:11

and it's like

2:37:12

smitten i i you know i've never had i've been smitten in life but i've never

2:37:17

you know as a comedian

2:37:19

i don't think you ever really go on stage any of you were to do something where

2:37:22

you were smitten you're

2:37:24

you're making fun of that emotion and the stupid things that you do and it's

2:37:27

like no we need you to

2:37:28

play this real like you really have just and i'm like oh so i'm like into her

2:37:33

he goes no i'm you're

2:37:35

love struck like a lightning bolt and i'm just like and it's like oh jeez like

2:37:39

i i don't know

2:37:40

how to fucking do this and you know fucking and then oh my god i'm in my head i'm

2:37:43

in my head

2:37:43

this person's won an oscar then i think i suck you know just going through all

2:37:48

of that

2:37:48

shit so it took me probably uh two weeks on the film i was two weeks in they

2:37:55

had shot enough of my

2:37:56

shit where i was like all right they're not gonna fire me i can kind of relax a

2:38:00

little and then after

2:38:01

that i had i had a i did i had a great time i had a great time best time i've

2:38:06

had on uh any acting

2:38:08

gigs and i've had a lot of fun throughout the years so i think that's what sort

2:38:12

of started it and i was

2:38:13

kind of like you know trying to communicate it to my wife and she doesn't know

2:38:19

what i'm talking about

2:38:20

she's like you're doing a movie this is great and she has access you know opposites

2:38:24

attract so she has

2:38:25

access to all of that she's actually a you know a way better actor than i am

2:38:30

and

2:38:30

stuff so i i she helps me out a lot so after those two weeks i was able to

2:38:35

chill and then i had a great time and i got over a bunch of hurdles and i was

2:38:40

kind of like oh this is

2:38:40

like growing as a comic where it's like okay i i know how to do this as a comic

2:38:46

what if i try to act

2:38:48

something out oh that's not my safe space now i start feeling like an open mic

2:38:51

again they're not

2:38:52

going to like me i'm like stop getting spots at the store go home live home

2:38:56

with my parents i start

2:38:57

doing that shit yeah it's a whole show going on up here joe did you watch it

2:39:02

after it was done

2:39:04

yeah i i watched the initial cut of it and then i saw the vinyl version of it

2:39:11

and everything did you

2:39:12

enjoy it yeah it's one of those things you just to you you know everything that

2:39:16

was there and wasn't

2:39:18

there and like uh and like especially with jokes like there there was there was

2:39:24

some you know there's

2:39:27

always going to be stuff that you oh god i wish why did they cut there i wish

2:39:30

they put this in but

2:39:31

like as far as like the movie itself i loved it how it worked and the way they

2:39:36

put it together and

2:39:37

there's the opening scene that's in the movie initially was in the middle of

2:39:41

the movie and

2:39:41

somebody judd i don't know who came up with the brilliant idea to put that

2:39:44

scene first and it totally

2:39:46

changed the tone of the movie and it didn't that's when it like took off

2:39:51

because i saw a real raw cut

2:39:53

and it was like this is a bunch of funny shit and like everybody i've ever

2:39:56

talked to who edits a movie

2:39:58

like when they watched their first cut in the movie they're like oh my god i'm

2:40:01

never gonna i'm never

2:40:02

gonna work in this business again i just wasted my fucking you know i was

2:40:05

actually uh talking to one

2:40:07

of the actors who had directed one of my favorite movies uh uh trees lounge steve

2:40:12

buscemi made that

2:40:13

movie and he told this whole this hilarious story about the well you know when

2:40:18

he the first cut that

2:40:20

he watched of it like he just like went home like a zombie you know like going

2:40:24

oh my god like how am

2:40:25

i gonna make and it's such a great movie by the time he was done editing it but

2:40:28

his first

2:40:28

like look at it so that helped me out a guy as good as him having that type of

2:40:36

thought i was just

2:40:37

like oh geez i think that all the time you know this guy's an icon if he thinks

2:40:42

that then this is

2:40:42

normal so like all right i guess i'm kind of normal to think this shit so yeah

2:40:46

so they i think that

2:40:47

started it and then i just kind of would have just been happy to get through

2:40:51

the movie and then that

2:40:52

would have been it and then i had to be quarantined oh we all got come on i'm

2:40:57

talking like myself

2:40:58

typical self-involved me everybody's quarantined and then that just became me

2:41:02

sitting around and i was

2:41:03

like i'm not watching tv because this is just gonna

2:41:05

fucking make me feel like claustrophobic watching all this news and

2:41:10

shit trying to be informed so i kind of went away from that and then i was just

2:41:14

in the house with me

2:41:15

just sitting there and everybody was asleep it's fucking just thinking thinking

2:41:20

but not in a bad

2:41:21

way i i don't think i don't know well it doesn't seem like it's a bad way it

2:41:25

seems like you've isolated

2:41:27

some of the things that you you have a problem with that you need to work out

2:41:30

yeah i mean that's uh

2:41:32

that's one great leap on the way to figuring it out is knowing what you're

2:41:37

trying to work on

2:41:38

some people go to their whole life not understanding what the fuck is wrong i'm

2:41:42

jealous of those people

2:41:42

i grew up a lot of those people those people watch tv all the time no they just

2:41:49

they are who they are

2:41:50

and they just fucking do that there is something i you know that i have

2:41:54

actually

2:41:55

so fucked up there's people like when i look at people that just do whatever

2:42:02

the they want to do

2:42:05

you know like who doesn't want to just fucking eat a large cheese pizza and

2:42:08

then finish it off

2:42:10

with a pint of ice cream like those people that do that i know they pay for it

2:42:15

but there is something

2:42:16

to be i'm reading this book right now on uh bobby lane who's a quarterback for

2:42:20

the uh detroit lions

2:42:23

and there's all these legends like his story is so legendary you don't even

2:42:26

know where the the the

2:42:27

legend isn't where the truth is but like this guy art donovan used to tell a

2:42:31

story about you know he

2:42:33

was on the other team and he sacked him and you know he's getting up and bobby

2:42:37

breathed on he goes

2:42:38

jesus christ man where the did you go last night and bobby allegedly said last

2:42:43

night he goes i had a

2:42:43

couple of pops at halftime you know these guys were fucking lunatics and he

2:42:48

lived this life where he

2:42:49

had this wide array of friends uh really progressive where he he like you know

2:42:56

through playing sports he

2:42:58

had uh african-american friends and if they were to go in some place and they

2:43:01

said your friend can't

2:43:02

come in he goes no we're not fucking going in i mean this guy was doing this in

2:43:05

the 50s and 60s right

2:43:07

and um he was always like that and but he died at like 58 or 59 and it was hard

2:43:13

for all of his friends

2:43:14

to see him you know not being like the legend but there's a great part in the

2:43:18

book where he's talking

2:43:19

about his life and uh like knowing that you know he probably should have gone

2:43:25

easier but like this big

2:43:27

smile came on his face that he kind of did it the way he wanted to because

2:43:30

believe me dude i would

2:43:31

love to go home and kill a bottle of bourbon right now i would love to smoke

2:43:34

another fucking

2:43:36

five of these fucking things but uh i got too many people dependent on me but

2:43:40

uh there is something

2:43:41

to be said about living you know those people they just like i like booze i

2:43:46

like it i like getting

2:43:47

drunk and and just if i want to do it every night i'm fucking gonna do it i

2:43:51

live at home i want to

2:43:52

get a pizza i'm gonna have a fucking pizza you you do pay for it but there is i

2:43:56

i made me think of

2:43:57

like well what's me from motorhead well what's yeah what's that life like yeah

2:44:01

as opposed to being

2:44:02

like well you know i gotta make sure i eat my brussels sprouts and i flake

2:44:05

a bit and you kind of inch your way to death as opposed to just being like it

2:44:11

pizza tastes good i want a pizza it i'm having one let's try every bourbon that

2:44:18

guy like i love

2:44:19

that in the lemmy doc when he just had all those bottles of bourbon the

2:44:23

greatest thing in the lemmy

2:44:24

thing is when those guys were saying lemmy goes hey you want you want some jack

2:44:27

daniels they go yeah

2:44:28

and he takes a bottle down and then hands both of them their own bottle and

2:44:32

they were like what the

2:44:33

fuck and he starts just drinking out of this like he's having a coke

2:44:36

dean del rey said something hilarious about when he watched the lemmy doc he

2:44:42

goes dude if i saw that

2:44:44

thing when i was in my 20s and i knew lemmy was going to live to be 70 he goes

2:44:47

i never would have

2:44:48

stopped his last days were rough though i remember i think everybody's last

2:44:54

days are rough unless you

2:44:56

drop dead but his last days on performing i mean he he basically performed

2:45:00

until the wheels fell off

2:45:02

there's a video of him like one of the last shows that he did where he had to

2:45:06

walk off stage in the

2:45:07

middle of his performance he was such a badass even like just the way he had

2:45:12

the microphone the way he

2:45:14

would sing where he just came in the fucking bass was all low yeah can't teach

2:45:18

that man that kid was

2:45:19

fucking in his dna well he lived it that's for sure and he is a legend and

2:45:26

there's something to be said

2:45:27

for that there's it's all what you put your energy to yeah it's kind of how you

2:45:32

like i you know it is

2:45:33

it's the balls to live that life yeah indulgent and wild yeah we're like this

2:45:38

there's all this

2:45:39

heroicism to sobriety but i which there is yeah being sober and just taking

2:45:44

life in the face every

2:45:46

day is is hard and i think uh to see somebody but that has the balls even with

2:45:53

all the surgeon general

2:45:55

shit as i'm sitting here smoking a cigar looking for a toothpick if you have

2:45:58

one um no no toothpick who's

2:46:02

got the piece of stick right there you can turn that into a toothpick i can't

2:46:05

fucking stick it in here

2:46:06

this is why i had to stop cigars because i'll smoke it right down on my fingers

2:46:11

yeah whittle that thing down jesus christ joe give me that stick oh is that the

2:46:19

way you're supposed

2:46:19

to hand somebody a knife well i was gonna oh you were gonna do it yeah i don't

2:46:24

need you joe i don't

2:46:25

need anybody good luck you need a roach clip you want another cigar so you don't

2:46:32

have to do that

2:46:33

i mean we have no this is the best part that's the best part of cigar yeah it's

2:46:38

mostly you get

2:46:39

the smoke goes right to you yeah yeah okay i feel like i'm in therapy i feel

2:46:45

like i'm a therapist right

2:46:46

now listen don't switch to kid glove tone with me all right i'm just around

2:46:51

here i'm sorry bill see

2:46:53

that just uh just trying to assess the situation oh are you is that what your

2:46:58

training has taught you

2:47:00

you talked to all these whack jobs on your podcast

2:47:03

the lemme thing is you know that's one of the things that people love about

2:47:10

them right because

2:47:12

everybody knows you're supposed to eat well everybody knows you're not supposed

2:47:15

to

2:47:15

get up every night everybody knows you're supposed to be responsible and mature

2:47:21

and

2:47:21

and smart but what he did was just wild it didn't work no no it's gonna be

2:47:28

slipping look at him there

2:47:29

he was just wild wild to the end and yeah and i think you need you need people

2:47:35

like that you do you

2:47:37

do because you can get a lot out of the way that they live where every once in

2:47:41

a while you'll be like

2:47:42

you know what this let's go let's be lemmy today yeah you get you get great art

2:47:47

out of those people too

2:47:48

those wild people the bachowskis and the sam kenison's and the lemmys and

2:47:53

the people that just go hard there's something to that yeah there's something

2:47:59

to that too

2:47:59

yeah and there's also something to people that are stoic

2:48:03

you know what's interesting to me is the just the range of people i can get i

2:48:10

can get things out of

2:48:11

people that just drink water and meditate and i'm fascinated by them i'm

2:48:16

fascinated by people like

2:48:17

i was watching some uh do you know uh russell simmons he lives in like where

2:48:21

does he live in like

2:48:23

bali or indonesia or something like that he was doing a an instagram live

2:48:28

and he's doing it cross-legged with like uh some crazy yoga shawl over his

2:48:36

knees and

2:48:36

shit and like it looked like an ashram and he's like he's he's basically

2:48:40

talking like a yogi in an

2:48:43

ashram like this guy was the head of def champ yeah and he got like really

2:48:48

really into yoga and now he

2:48:50

lives in some country somewhere and just does yoga i was doing instagram live

2:48:56

talking to people

2:48:58

like like uh like a guru yeah i ain't gonna go that hard i'm not either i'll do

2:49:06

uh i'll do a yo i mean

2:49:08

i i kind of do my own version of yoga just that i've learned do you do a little

2:49:13

yoga i stretch all

2:49:14

the time yeah i have to because i i uh you know you just get to a certain age

2:49:20

if you don't i mean you know

2:49:22

yeah i love stretching yeah you kind of got to do all of that so anyway enough

2:49:28

of that you ever take

2:49:29

a yoga class yeah like hot yoga you ever do that i almost i just felt like i

2:49:33

couldn't breathe yeah

2:49:35

and i remember too also like my back was up that's why i went to the class and

2:49:40

the put like the position

2:49:42

she started out with there was the twisting was happening too quickly so i kind

2:49:46

of just went down to

2:49:47

the mat and i was doing all the thing and the teacher got like all freaked out

2:49:51

by it really

2:49:52

she's like come on you know let's try to stay with the class you can't be like

2:49:55

busting out all these

2:49:56

different awesome and i just started laughing where i was just thinking like

2:50:01

this is all supposed to be

2:50:02

about listening to your body and you're literally you're like the oil man in

2:50:06

here trying to control

2:50:07

this is your own little economy and just the fact that i you're walking around

2:50:12

like you got it all

2:50:13

figured out you got 99 of people here all doing what the you say and one guy

2:50:18

goes down to his mat

2:50:20

because his back is up and you process it like i'm with your authority in a

2:50:25

yoga class

2:50:26

so with my broad brush i said hot yoga

2:50:36

it's hilarious yeah yoga teachers like everything else you know some of them

2:50:41

you're going to enjoy

2:50:42

some of them are going to be really good at it and some of them are going to

2:50:45

annoy the out of you

2:50:46

what annoys the out of me is when they start giving you motivational advice and

2:50:50

telling you how to live your life you've got to learn to let go of things like

2:50:54

for me and then

2:50:55

tell some personal story and so yeah what i got out of that like jesus christ

2:50:59

can we move on here

2:51:01

i didn't come here to hear your first grade i used to go to this one tree

2:51:05

psychology it was a great

2:51:06

class it was a great class but the dude he had it was awesome i like i was

2:51:13

after a while i would go i

2:51:14

was just psychologically breaking this guy down and something happened to him

2:51:20

at a gold's gym i don't

2:51:22

know what happened to him like he just was forever making fun of muscle heads

2:51:27

and i was thinking you know

2:51:28

because i've had the hybrid thing going on like i love you know back before i

2:51:32

fucked up my shoulder

2:51:33

i loved lifting weights i loved going to the gym and all that and i liked the

2:51:37

energy in a gym

2:51:38

you know i i i liked it and um the old school ones right when the guys used to

2:51:44

walk around with the

2:51:45

towels tucked into their you know that and he was forever on it and then

2:51:52

another thing

2:51:52

that he would do would he would uh also somehow steer it toward like a subtle

2:51:58

comment about love making

2:52:00

and the way to and he was putting out like his vibe that he was good in bed at

2:52:05

the same time

2:52:06

that's a yoga guy move oh you know and he had the little ponytail and it was no

2:52:16

it was like a

2:52:17

will farrell character it was funny it's just like this is like it was like a

2:52:22

real life like will farrell

2:52:24

like uh like just really just like i know everything kind of vibe it was he

2:52:30

wasn't as bad as that but

2:52:31

it was just that the whole yeah it was funny though and i used to sit there uh

2:52:35

yeah this was like this

2:52:38

dude in new york i remember it was hilarious and what was hilarious was i was

2:52:41

bad at yoga if there's that

2:52:43

you're not supposed to even say that if you're doing it man you just you know

2:52:46

wherever your body's at is

2:52:47

what you're supposed to be right and i just remember when he would walk around

2:52:50

the class and

2:52:51

he would adjust people he'd always skip me and then adjust some hot chick who

2:52:55

was way more flexible

2:52:56

than me and it's just like really i'm doing it right as i'm sitting over here

2:52:59

for some reason i never

2:53:00

needed an adjustment of course and it was this was like the 90s so you could

2:53:03

get away with this

2:53:04

shit there was a lot of adjusting like this almost cupping a titty and fucking

2:53:09

like yeah

2:53:09

shit on the hips and stuff yeah hey god bless him it's like a pied piper you

2:53:14

got all these hot chicks

2:53:16

in there and you get them all stretched out before he banged him and it worked

2:53:19

so i couldn't hate on

2:53:20

him for that but it was i i to get through the class because i have such

2:53:25

fucking add i was just

2:53:27

there was like a comedy show going on within it like you know like a house and

2:53:32

then i got a couple

2:53:33

buddies like you gotta go you know we'll do it you know like a bet when he's

2:53:36

gonna how many

2:53:37

times he's gonna shit on the gym um what does he say um what would he say he

2:53:45

would talk about he would

2:53:47

talk about the muscle heads coming in there and they had no flexibility and you

2:53:53

know and how uh

2:53:55

everything was all like overdeveloped but you know he we'd always be doing some

2:53:59

fucked up uh pose or

2:54:02

something and he goes this works on your psoas like what machine in the gym you

2:54:09

know is there a psoas

2:54:10

machine you know like i can't remember it's like it was a long time ago and um

2:54:16

at first it pissed me

2:54:18

off it's just like well i like doing curls what's wrong and then it just became

2:54:26

funny to me there's a

2:54:27

specific type of guy that's like that i went to a yoga guy once used to singing

2:54:31

classes he wound up like

2:54:34

he wound up banging this lady that was there there was a lot back in the day

2:54:39

you can't do it now there

2:54:40

was a lot of banging back then there's a lot of this was like uh i guess this

2:54:44

was late 90s early 2000s

2:54:46

maybe and he would sing in class and it was so cheap it was so disingenuous

2:54:52

oh yeah like you would do these like yoga songs i'm like you are so gross

2:54:57

i'm glad i wasn't the only one no no but there was but there was some really uh

2:55:05

good ones that i found i found out you know some yeah there's some really good

2:55:10

ones

2:55:11

this is really this guy i go to i mean you hear him talk you think he's going

2:55:16

to be annoying he's got

2:55:17

pierced nipples the whole deal but he's really sincere he's really into it he's

2:55:23

so gay he's so

2:55:24

gay it's like oozing when he talks but you know he's just so good the way it's

2:55:30

so gay like the way

2:55:32

he talks we're here we're here you're supposed to be here let it go and but

2:55:38

that's who he is like he's

2:55:40

comfortable he's well that's the thing i love his class well that's the thing

2:55:44

as if as if it's genuine

2:55:46

yeah yeah yeah then it becomes this great thing yeah um that's who he is he's

2:55:52

uh yeah it's it's like

2:55:55

whoever the you are if that's who you are like i like it i don't i don't want

2:56:00

you to try to sell me

2:56:02

on who you are like the guy with the love making it goes the last two hours of

2:56:06

this podcast

2:56:06

the selling you on who they are is where it gets really gross pretending to be

2:56:13

something they're not

2:56:14

not being i mean i like flaws it's good we all have them you know so my

2:56:21

favorite people are all flawed

2:56:24

i don't mind yeah and it's not even that that guy was flawed he was just uh he

2:56:29

was just

2:56:29

like normally you would think if a guy was talking like that teaching a yoga

2:56:34

class like this is not

2:56:35

gonna be fun but it was great yeah there's a lot of people that are really good

2:56:39

at it man it's just

2:56:40

finding them you know so i like the place that i go to i just look at the

2:56:44

schedule i'm like oh that's

2:56:45

a good one i'll take her class i like him he's fun yeah and there's this one

2:56:50

dude he has weird tattoos

2:56:53

like real strange like it always has to be clean too because there's so much

2:56:57

sweating going on i hate

2:56:58

when you go like those hot yoga classes there's just no way to get this the

2:57:02

floors were sweating

2:57:03

like there's just no way to he's got to accept it it's so good for your body so

2:57:07

good for your

2:57:08

stretching too because you can get into positions when you're doing hot yoga

2:57:12

that you're not going to

2:57:13

get into and it's like really stretching that tissue out and extending your

2:57:17

range of motion i love it

2:57:20

i'm a evangelist for it though i tell so many people to do it a lot of people

2:57:23

have listened

2:57:24

but more people just get annoyed well i love that when you guys do the sober

2:57:27

october you know when i

2:57:29

watch segura and uh uh kreischer dry out and like three weeks in they start

2:57:34

looking like movie stars and

2:57:36

they start looking like they're going to get a lot of people to get a lot of

2:57:38

people to get in there and

2:57:45

we had to like compete to see who can get the the most fitness points and stuff

2:57:49

like that ari got

2:57:50

a fucking six pack like ari got shredded like he doesn't even work out before

2:57:54

that he was never

2:57:55

working out and over the course of the month by the end of the month he had a

2:57:59

legit six pack and he

2:58:00

looked great he was he's always pretty wiry though yeah he's thin yeah he got

2:58:05

fat at one point in time

2:58:06

because he was eating nothing but candy he was literally eating candy all day

2:58:10

long he was always

2:58:11

he was like a bag of gummy bears with him and shit like that but then i gotta

2:58:15

play i don't know if i

2:58:15

still have the message when we're done with this i gotta play the message him

2:58:18

congratulate me having a

2:58:19

kid it's so arty it's so fucking funny

2:58:23

but yeah he uh he dried out with that and then uh didn't he never gained it

2:58:28

back but he never

2:58:29

never had that six pack again he was shredded because he was super competitive

2:58:33

he was really

2:58:34

trying to win it was really interesting it's interesting to watch i and i and i

2:58:38

liked how

2:58:39

bert would do it too where bert would have like he would always have like a

2:58:43

crazy build-up that was

2:58:47

totally against what he told me this story about him running the fucking uh la

2:58:54

marathon and like

2:58:56

drinking the night before it's just like dude you could have fucking died and

2:59:01

he never really trained

2:59:02

for it but he but he just but he he he's mentally strong he just got himself

2:59:07

from this mindset of put

2:59:08

one foot in front of the other and i am not stopping until i get to the finish

2:59:13

line

2:59:15

26 miles it's a fucking hell of a haul for a fat guy he did it yeah he won't

2:59:22

catch me doing that

2:59:23

no no marathon running no do you ever run at all um no i wasn't i i used to uh

2:59:31

ride a bike

2:59:31

i did that for a while where i and uh i got so into it i remember one time i i

2:59:37

actually was drinking

2:59:38

in the afternoon and i still had to go on a bike ride i got on a bike shit face

2:59:41

it's it was sweating

2:59:44

this is the 80s too no helmet no nothing and just fucking rode like like 12

2:59:51

miles

2:59:52

and i never had heard the expression i never felt hitting a wall

2:59:57

i like whatever the electrolytes or there was just nothing left and i was like

3:00:03

six miles

3:00:04

this east coast there's all kinds of hills and from my house and i was like

3:00:10

i i don't think i i don't what am i gonna and there was no cell phones like

3:00:13

what am i gonna do

3:00:14

so i just kept riding and then it was like this five minute like i'm gonna die

3:00:20

i'm not gonna get

3:00:21

through this and then i just got to the other side where the i think my body

3:00:24

was just like all right

3:00:25

there must be something like death must be chasing us so we need to go into

3:00:30

something else here and i

3:00:31

push through into that that's what they say happens when you do those ultra marathons

3:00:36

those people

3:00:36

they get to a point where they think there's no way they can keep going they're

3:00:39

doing 100 miles and

3:00:41

they're 38 miles in and they're ready to quit but they just manage to just keep

3:00:45

left right left right

3:00:46

left right and eventually you get into a zone and you're you cross the finish

3:00:50

line

3:00:52

20 hours later hey god bless him now that's that i would just say well that you

3:00:56

have all the people

3:00:57

handing your cups of shit and you can just tap out there's a lot of things you

3:01:00

have to do in those

3:01:01

those 24-hour races you have to eat like you run dry it's not like a regular

3:01:06

marathon

3:01:06

yeah no i'm i'm not yeah those triathlons bill bird has been a great therapy

3:01:13

session thank you

3:01:14

um i'm excited for family season four coming out tomorrow i don't know how you

3:01:18

have time to do that

3:01:19

how the fuck do you have time to do efforts for family as well as stand up as

3:01:23

well as all the

3:01:23

other shit you do play the drums delegation yeah you you you surround yourself

3:01:29

with super talented

3:01:30

people you do your job they do their job and you're able to um you're able to

3:01:36

do that able to do it

3:01:38

but i i i i needed this break though i'm not gonna lie to you i needed it too i

3:01:43

didn't think i needed

3:01:44

it i thought it was fine but now i am like chomping at the bit to get back on

3:01:49

stage i can't wait and

3:01:50

i yeah i miss hearing people laughing and hanging with comics and hearing the

3:01:54

crazy

3:01:54

shit they say next time i see you i hope it's at the store yes or the troubadour

3:01:58

the troubadour

3:01:59

either one either or i'm in bill bird ladies and gentlemen thank you so much

3:02:02

bye brother all right

3:02:03

all right was that good