Bill Burr Gets Introspective About the Origins of His Anger

Buster Douglas in that fight, do you know the whole story behind it? His mom died and he was devastated. And so he was always a really, really talented guy that just didn't work hard enough. But that fight, he trained like a motherfucker. He trained like a real champion. Probably because he came out. Yeah, he didn't want to face, didn't want to think about it, so he probably just focused on... Well, is that maybe also he was like doing it, he was dedicating it to his mom. But he threw some beautiful punches. Once again, the human element that I just removed. I just... You're into avoidance. I'm a robot. I am. I am. I am. Is this what you're finding out from the pandemic, being locked up and having too much alone time? Like that you're a robot? Yeah, I understand my anger now. I don't know how to fix it, but I understand it. What is it? What is your anger? It's feeling like I'm not going to be heard and things are going to go in a way I don't want them to be. So the second is there's a suggestion different than mine. I catastrophize in my head and I don't... It'll be like, well, you know what? Actually I can't do that because I'm doing Joe's podcast. Maybe I could do that tomorrow. I just hear the information and feel like I have no power. And then I go, oh, what the fuck? Then my wife's like, I just asked a question. And then I am so fucking up here. I have to like... It only takes me like two minutes. And then I come in. I put my head to the side of her head and I just go, I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you. You married a fuck up. You blew it. You're not good at reading people. You have no one to blame but yourself. I apologize like an asshole. No, my... Makes you a great comedy though. There's another thing too is I also in this have never loved my wife more, gave me a son and it's just like, it's one of those things where you just sit. That's a beautiful thing about the pandemic. You sit there going like, I am really like, I am way, way more of a fucking asshole than I thought I was. I knew I was, but I didn't think I was that bad. So you realize you've got issues, but you don't know how to solve them. That's what it is. I realized that I had issues that I thought I was past. That's what fucked me up. But so you feel like, like, all right, so I've taken care of that. Now I can focus on this. And it's like, no, no, this is still in this pile. You thought it was six feet high. It's 12 feet high and it was... Yeah, it was demoralizing. Don't you think no one is part of the way to fix it though? Yeah, but then you have to go through the torture of it. Because it's not like the Dr. Phil episode. You need to understand, you fucking yell at people, whatever the fuck. And you go, okay, thanks Phil. And you're just going to go do that. It's like then you have to do the fucking work. And it's so easy to just go back into your... It's a deep groove worn into your personality and you're trying to get out of the rut. And it's just easy to go back into it and just be on autopilot. That's why people like psychedelics. That's why people like psychedelics. Because it separates you so much from who you are, you get a chance to look at yourself. It's one of the things that comes out of it. I should have done that when I was younger. Can't do it now? Like right now? On this podcast? We could do it. I don't think that would be very professional. I'm supposed to be promoting one of these feature films here. We've already done it. We've promoted it. It looks great. I'm excited. I'm excited to see you at a mustache. So you're saying I'm done and then I can now do this? You can do a little drugs. Just a little mushrooms. Be good for you. Listen, Joe, I know you're an influencer, but you ain't going to win on this one. Influencer? Influencer. That's a dirty word to me. I will be ... Kids get out of the house and they're fucking great people. Hopefully, if I did the job, then ... Then? So when they're 18? Okay, we'll go. When they're 18, I'm going to take you somewhere. All right. When I'm 70 and you're 71. Yeah. We'll get blasted together on mushrooms. This is what I learned about myself and why I didn't miss stand-up because it was freaking me out is because what I experienced as a kid straight across the board made me go to this mental place of like, I don't care. Fuck it. I don't care. I don't need it. I don't give a shit. That's what caused everything to get walled off. That actually feeds into rehabbing injuries because it was a big moment for me where I got this fucking console thing that I'm trying to put in my podcast studio. They were supposed to deliver it and bring it in there. So the day they were going to deliver it, my wife went into labor. So I went to the hospital and then they showed up and I didn't want them going out in my garage. I got all my memorabilia and shit. I just didn't want people in there unless I was there. So I just had them drop it off. I thought it was going to be a box and it was already assembled and it was fucking big, right? And it was also the weight load of it. I was like, ah, fuck it. If I keep my arms in like this, it's mostly biceps and I was going to do this stupid German Irish fuck it. And what it was going to do was going to set me back once again. I had a big setback in February. I had an acting gig and they said, hey, it was just a stupid little action thing. There's a wall, put your hands on it, hop over it. Can you do that? I'm like, yeah, my shoulder feels pretty good. And the second I went like that, I felt like lightning go down my shoulder and I was like, ah, fuck. Right back to the fucking tuna canning and all of that shit. So I actually had a friend come over. We were going to do it. I said, you know what, dude, I owe you a fucking dinner or something. I'm not doing this. And I called up this guy that I knew was a construction company. I go, you got a couple of strong young guys that can just move this thing in there. And I just had them do it. And that's like something that I'm pushing through where it helps me as a comic and also helps me deal with highly emotional shit because I can just shut shit off and just do what I have to do, which works like back in the day when you're going to do Letterman, which was fucking terrifying. It's freezing cold. And you just have to be like, fuck this. It's just fucking people. This is just a different shiny floor that's freaking me out. And there's an icon sitting at that desk. I had the tools to shut that off, which is great for that moment. But it's terrible for the rest of your fucking life. Like this shit, that's like, I just realized there's just shit in me that I needed to, that I have not dealt with, death of friends. All of that shit is just sitting in here. And I think that's also like when people then go like, oh, can you do this? Oh, what the fuck? Like, it's not all just that I'm not going to get what I want. A lot of that is like, you got all of this shit that you're sitting on. So you're sitting on all that and you haven't addressed it. So then the only way for the steam to come out is like for you to snap or whatever. Which is really not fair to the people around you, to be honest with you. So I don't know. Have you gone to therapy? Yeah. Yeah? What about meditating? You ever meditate? Yeah, but I find the guy's voice is fucking annoying you. You don't have to listen to him or die. He won't shut up. Every time I'm getting there, he starts fucking talking again. And then he's using this really soothing, caring voice that makes me face all of that shit that I didn't get growing up, which makes me angry at this person that's trying to help me. Wow. Yeah. Quarantine is not a bad thing. From what it's worth, you're always fun to hang around with. I always enjoy your company. I don't have any issues with any of your crazy videos. Because I have a crushing need to be liked. So I tone down my cuntiness when I'm around you. Listen, my wife knows me. Hang out with her one time. She'll tell you some fucking stories. I'm sure. Yeah. Well, the you that I get, I like. If that helps you. Yeah. You don't know anybody till you live with them. All right. You know, I will not accept your compliments. That's another part of my personality. Who's the guy that's running the meditation app that's annoying you? Do you know who's app you're using? I don't want to put the guy on blast, but yeah, I do. Okay. Let me know. And he's great. He's great. He's great at what he's doing. He's trying to help people. I understand. Yeah. You should do it without an app. I have a story. I can't say what I said nowadays. I can't say what I said, but I remember I was playing pickup hockey and I suck, right? But I'm having a good time out there. I'm just, you know, I'm out there trying to get a sweat going, right? And you know, I'm having my head down and we're playing no contact. And because it was really my fault to have my head down on this guy fucking knocked me down on the other team. And he goes, are you all right? What I said to that guy, I still fucking regret. I was so mad at him that he was caring in that moment. Oh, wow. And that's one of those things. It was like, what is wrong with me? Wow. You're really trying to come to grips with all this shit right now. Yeah, because I don't want to pass this shit on to my kids. That's what happens. And it's just like. As they're growing up. Yeah, when people are like, if people say my kids are not like me, like I'm like good. That's weird. But I do think that a lot if they're like, oh yeah, he's, you know, she's like, you know, happy girl. I'm like, great. Like, I forget what somebody said one time about my daughter because she's like, she's this angel, right? And they made some sort of, you know, comic, made the comment, you know, thinking it was going to hurt me. And I was like, yeah, dude, that's fucking music to my ears. I don't want to be like me. Don't. Do you think they were trying to hurt you when they said it? No, it was one of those comic things where they don't have kids. So and it was a guy's and they don't know what to say. So then they got to like make a fucking joke. Like I had a buddy of mine, a comedian on my birthday. He goes, hey, happy destroying your mother's uterus day. And I just remember laughing going like, oh, there's a guy has to do a little more work than I have to. Or you can say, I can say, I know. But I mean, I know what it is. It was a Boston comic and he couldn't just say happy birthday because that would be gay. So he has to go to so overcorrect that has to go to that level. It's so fucking stupid. It's probably why guys die before women. You hang on to shit and there's all that stuff, you know, can't say enjoy sunset. Joe, you can't do that. Why can't you? Shut up. But I know why. I know you do. I know. But the thing about you is you can also beat the shit out of most people in a fucking room. So you got that. So people can be like, oh, wow. You know, they actually want to hear that from you when they see you spin and heel kick. They want to know that you enjoy a sunset because like I don't want to if this guy's as angry as I am and can do all of that shit. What am I odds of getting out of here? So you want to see that out of a guy like you. The guy like you don't want to see it. Don't want to see you enjoying the sunset. Joe, I don't read. I don't. I don't know what it is. I am too in here to understand me. This is interesting though. I have a very weird thing. I have an alley of my personality that works that I somehow turned into a living. But the rest of it looks like Fred Sanford's yard. Old radiators and bed frames and shit. It's a fucking myth.