Joe Talks Pythons and Alligators with Greg Fitzsimmons

There's too many of them. It's amazing they're still alive, isn't it? So many of them. When you see one, how fucking ancient they look? Yeah. They're dinosaurs. They're legit dinosaurs. Right. Yeah. And they're all over the place. We were talking the other day about Disneyland in Florida that over the last few years they've pulled hundreds of alligators out of Disney World. Well dude, that girl got eaten. Yeah, a little kid. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine you're two year old. You remember what it was like when your kids were two? Like you love them so much. You're so protective of them. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They're so vulnerable. And then they killed it. And then they'd see them get killed by an alligator. Yeah. That was a fucking lawsuit. Oh God, I'm sure. But they probably just paid them off. I mean, Disneyland's just printing money. Yeah. Or Disney World. Yeah. Disneyland's been shut down for a fucking year. Is that the one in California? Yeah. They're open again now, but they were trying to sue to try to get open again. The strictest laws in California when it came to COVID, but it didn't have an impact on the number of cases. It didn't have the impact on the number of deaths. Yeah. Like in comparison to Florida where they just went buck wild and wide open. Right. It's like Florida did better. Mm-hmm. With their fucking cunty alligators wandering around. Yeah, now they got the Everglades are filled with fucking anacondas. Pythons. Oh, pythons. Yeah. They've killed all the mammals. They did this study on mammals in the Everglades. Yeah. They used to have raccoons and marsh hairs and all these different deer. Nothing. Wow. Nothing. Everything's gone. It's all pythons. Oh, shit. It's pythons and alligators. It's so bad now that pythons are eating alligators. Oh, I saw a video of that. It's crazy. There's a photo, a famous photo. Florida Python Challenge gets underway with a new $10,000 prize. Yeah, they're trying to. What they really should do is, first of all, California, which is so fucking dumb, you can't buy Python goods. Why? Because they're assholes. They've just decided that's an exotic and we don't want to. It's just political. It's completely, it's all about optics. Right. Like the idea that you're going to have these exotics. Like why is it okay to have lamb skin or sheep skin? Why is that okay? Yeah. Why is it okay to have uggs with sheep skin inside of them? That's okay. It's okay to have a leather jacket. It's not okay to have a cunty Python. Yeah. Like what the fuck is- That's crazy. Doesn't make any sense. Yeah. There's no logic to it at all. You can't have pythons. And meanwhile, what they should do is make it available everywhere and make it so that it's commercially fishable that you can go or huntable. You can go out there and collect these fucking pythons if it's very valuable. They'll at least be able to put a dent. The problem is it's all swamps, so they can't even find them. They're never going to put a dent. That shit is, that shit is sale. Look at this. 185-pound Burmese Python captured in Naples. Might be the heaviest in Florida history. How big? I think it might have been 16 feet. Damn. They also got a, this was a female, they got a male that was 140 with it. I saw one, there's one somewhere that, how big do those fucking things get? Like what's the biggest Python? I was looking at something on the internet and I was like, is this real? Because it was said they found a 30-foot Python and it was eating dogs. Oh yeah. They get that big? Well, it ate a fucking alligator. Alligator. According to this, longest in Florida, 18.9 feet. What about longest in like, I think this was in South Pacific, somewhere in Asia. It's all pets too. 185 pounds is big enough to eat a 150-pound man. Oh yeah. Yeah, this while you whole. Yeah. Yeah. Another thing they have in Florida that's everywhere is iguanas. Everywhere. Yeah. There's, I've been, I went down a YouTube rabbit hole the other day where people hunt and cook iguanas in their backyard. Wow. Yeah, because people who live on canals, they live near canals, they get like a bow fishing set up and they're out there shooting and killing iguanas and they turn them into chicken wings. Wow. They pack their legs off and they fry them. They fry them up and they batter them and they make like these, it looks delicious. Like these Asian dishes. This might be the one. That's it. That's the one. So 33 feet. 33 feet. Holy shit. That's exactly the one. Where was that? It says it was, excuse me, in Brazil. Brazil. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Damn. Oh my God. Oh my God. Look at the size of that thing. Holy shit. All right, you can't fake that. What does that thing eat? Dogs. That's what they were saying. Giant snake found in Brazil. 10 meters. Wow. Oh my God. Look how fat that thing is. That is so crazy that that's a real creature that lives alongside us. Imagine if you're just fucking hiking and you see a 30 foot snake staring you down. I mean, that is so big. Wait, that's an anaconda. Is the python an anaconda the same thing? No, different. 33 foot anaconda. Yeah. Well, that was that fucking movie with Jennifer Lopez, remember? Anaconda? Mm-hmm. Were they even bigger? Because they think that there used to be giant anacondas in the Amazon that were even bigger than that. Like what is the biggest, like the myth of the giant anaconda is something that's apparently, it's in dispute whether or not they're real things. I was trying to find the biggest python, which I did see it this, to say a reticulated python can grow up to 30 feet. But anacondas I believe are bigger. I typed in biggest snake and that's how I got that, which was anaconda. I think they think that at one point in time anacondas would get to 100 feet long. It's all myth. It's hard to tell what's horseshit or not, but there's like photos of ones that people took from planes where you see this thing that looks like a telephone pole, but a 100 foot long telephone pole making its way through the water, like that big. Wow. Shit. I don't know if it's real though. Dude, the alligators get fucking big in Florida too. My mom lives down there and she plays golf and there's a pond that has fucking alligators in it. On the golf course. On the golf course. They just wander around. So she was standing on the edge of the pond one day. Her ball is near the edge and for some reason she decides to play it, not kick it out in the fairway. She plays it from the edge. She takes the club back and she loses her balance and she fucking falls in the water over her head, goes under and then goes to get out of the water and she's pulling herself up but it's a muddy slope and she can't get out. She's like fucking flailing on the side and somebody helps her out and she got out of the water. I mean, she was so scared that when she got out, she started laughing and she was laying on the side of the pond for like two minutes. My mom's like five foot two. She's 78 years old. Oh my God. Imagine that's how she went out. Yeah. Golfing near a pond. Getting spun around in circles by an alligator in the middle of the water. What's the worst animal to die at the hands of if you had to choose? Probably hyenas. Wolves, hyenas, because they eat your guts first. Yeah. Yeah, if you see hyena videos, they're pulling like gazelles. They pull their guts out. They're eating them guts first. Coyotes do that too. They eat your asshole first. Oh, wow. The asshole. Yeah. A friend of mine who is a wildlife biologist was telling me about, there was a girl who got killed in Canada a few years back by coyotes. The particular area where she was in, she was a really petite girl and she apparently was a very talented singer. She was a talented folk singer. Yeah, I think that's what it was. I think she was a folk singer. She was going for a walk. Yeah. And she got killed by coyotes, which is super, super rare. But he was saying that is one of the worst ways to go because they try to kill you asshole first. Her death is the only known fatal coyote attack on adult as well as the only known fatal coyote attack on a human ever confirmed in Canada. Wow. She was 19 years old in Nova Scotia. It's fucking crazy. Watch new episodes of the Joe Rogan experience for free only on Spotify. Watch back catalog JRE videos on Spotify, including clips, easily, seamlessly switch between video and audio experience on Spotify. You can listen to the JRE in the background while using other apps and can download episodes to save on data costs all for free. Spotify is absolutely free. 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