Joe Rogan | What If Bugs Were Big and Intelligent? w/Josh Homme

What would really be fucked up is bugs were big and intelligent. If bugs behaved the way settlers behaved when they encountered the Native Americans. I must say, I'm happy to hear you say that. Something I say to my kids, and I've said to myself for many, many, many years, is when I'm having a rough morning, I say, thank God praying mantis aren't five feet tall. Fuck yeah, dude! Because getting to your car would be a nightmare. Yeah. And you'd never, it'd just be like, you know, that. Yeah, I was just watching a video of a praying mantis fucking up a mouse. They're so powerful, man. It's crazy. Just to like start the morning? It was just sitting there. It was just sitting there as the mouse got close to him, and then he grabbed ahold of him and fucked him up. Is that a normal way to start the morning? Me? Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah, there was one with a squirrel too. It was the praying mantis was eating a squirrel. It's like holding on to this little squirrel's head and just slowly pulling it apart. Oh, there's another one with a lizard. The lizard one was pretty fucked. Look at this mouse. You would think, well, there's no way. Look, that mouse is just like, oh, well, just going over here, just going to look over here. Bro, they are so ruthless, these goddamn things. And they're so fucking deceptively strong for their size. You look at how big they are. I mean, look at that, dude. If that was five feet tall. Oh, we'd be fucked. I wouldn't, I honestly, I would stay home a lot more. I would be armed to the dick. All day long. Just fucking everywhere I go, multiple guns, Kevlar suits. Here he goes. Bitch. And the way they get some is so fucking fast. Well, it is a kind of a cool thing that we don't have to like die watching something eat us. It's crazy though that there's no, it's not a contest. It's not. Look at that in the ear though. That's what I'd like to move is that that's not, that's uncalled for. It's rude. Yeah. He's eating an ear first. If I'm hit by something that's going to eat me, I'm like, don't start at the fucking ear, man. They don't give a fuck. Well, really, that's what you got to hear. The mouse is going to have to chance. Because you make it any louder. How are you doing? Just like, oh, it's like, will you get in deep enough, please? You get this over with, you fuck. And then you just feel the sound at that point. Yeah. Like boulders underwater. Well, it's like, it's just crazy when you look at how big the mouse is and how small the insect is, like for mass of body weight. That it's not even a contest that the praying mantis just gets it 100%. Like, it's not like maybe the mouse can get away. Like, no, it's over, bitch. It's a bit like that orca eats the great white's liver thing. Right. Right. Where for like a thousand nautical miles in every direction, every single tagged white shark, as soon as that happens, the radius is like a thousand nautical miles. Every great white shark was like, so anyways, I'm out of here and then takes off. Really? Yeah. So they felt it like they knew? Yeah. Something about the smell of their own debt of that. Really? Or whatever that, you know, what is it? The Opie-Live Lauren Zini, that sixth sense they have. Oh, right. Okay. Something about that frequency for them is sort of like, call you back and they just bail. Well, that's like the bully getting bullied, right? Like they're the meanest motherfuckers in the ocean, except for the orcas. Right. I think at this point in my life, I'm like, they don't have hands. So they're like, sorry, I got to try it. What's going on here? No hands. Going to use this. Sorry. Because when you have no predators, most of your time like that. What's up, Jamie? What do you got? Did we mention this before where they only go after the liver? Oh, yeah. Creepy. Well, they do some, some fava beans with it. So that's cool. It's probably very nutritious. But they... Are you kidding? Orcas are the biggest... How do you do that with your mouth? I think orcas are probably the biggest dick of all. Because they're just like, should we go fuck with that guy and grab the liver? Or what do you want to do? Well, they fuck up dolphins too. We know dolphins are kind of cute. Well, a big... They murder dolphins. Well, the permanent smile, right? That's why dolphins are cute. They're just like, hey, because it could be like, fuck you. Well, even dolphins, like dolphins commit infanticide. They kill babies. They do it on porpoise. Yeah. Well, they killed their own kinds of babies to try to force the female into estrus. And so as a consequence, female dolphins... Oh, right. To get them back to fertility. Because female dolphins, when they breed, apparently, once they have a baby, they have to raise that baby for like six years. So they won't have sex for like six years. So what male dolphins do is they will kill the baby, so they're forced to female to breed again. So what females do is they become hoes. So they fuck everybody and anybody they can. So that if a dolphin runs into her, they go, maybe that's my kid. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. So they're not sure if it's their kid. Obviously, there's no 23... Plausible deniability. Yeah. So they know that they fucked her. What is it? The seven great oceans in me or something? Well, they're really intelligent, right? I mean, they have a cerebral cortex that's 40% larger than a human beings. When there was that one shot and maybe it's blackfish or something like that, where they put a mirror up and the dolphins are like looking at them, they're self-aware. That was an amazing moment to watch. Like a dolphin go, oh. Yeah. Like with a shower, with a hairbrush singing in the mirror, sort of. Well, it's like the way we looked at other cultures. We think we're better. But when we look at orcas and dolphins, just because they can't affect their environment the way we can, like they can't build houses and create things. Yeah. We assume they're not as intelligent. Well, create things that we would determine to have any value in. Right. Right. Physical objects. That's it. But the way they have culture and communication and intelligence. Yeah, to have the sonar and all that stuff, they're operating with tools that we're like, what? Yeah, we don't even understand what you're doing. Oh, you mean bing. I got that over here. Bing. It's like. Yeah, they're using sonar and finding objects in the water and recognizing fish.