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Matt Braunger is an actor, writer, and stand-up comedian. His new special "Finally Live in Portland" will be released everywhere on February 5, 2019.
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I like in the upper right hand corner Magga Hatboy refuses to apologize in a Infuriating interview that kid looked drugged and coached like he was just probably both. Yeah, it probably put him on some Prozac Yeah, get out there a little fella Apparently that Native American guy though They did an interview with him and it was a disaster because he said a bunch of things that just absolutely weren't true and They're questioning whether or not he actually was in Vietnam. He definitely didn't serve in Vietnam But he wasn't in combat right, but you know he had some Some conflicting stories okay? Yeah, none of these people were prepared for this kind of attention you know it's like I I was offended as hell by those kids and I'm a fucking big old bleeding heart lefty for sure and I hate those those fucking hats, but like I In the same at the same time every teenage boy is a fucking idiot everyone You know and like it's but those boys were standing there doing their school chance while these there's a long video And the videos two hours long. I haven't watched it Yeah But I watch segments of it in the segments of it you see those Native American guys Walk up to those boys and chance with with their drums, so they're all there for different reasons Yeah, so the boys were there for the March for life, which is a pro-life March right? They're from a Catholic school. Yeah, and they're wearing their stupid red hats And then the Native American guy was theirs for a different reason yeah Well there were a couple there was there was a it was a Native American celebration Yeah, they're yearly and you'd think they'd coordinate these things because there's all these different So sort of marches going on and that's all that's our right as citizens But it's just that they're all the Lincoln Memorial together Well not only that these boys did not have like a good chaperone like these boys were wild They they yelled they said something like it's not rape enjoy enjoy it Yeah, one kid yelled and again by the way There's 40 kids of what if you have one asshole kid doesn't mean everybody should be beat up because one of your stupid fucking Classmates says something really dumb because he thinks he's funny and it's 15 I sat in an assembly once where a friend of mine was in like In Chicago and a friend I was doing a play and they were doing like a scene from the play on stage and a woman would Come on stage, and they would these kid these boys. I'm behind him, and they're saying the worst shit I can imagine yeah, and it was just like Jesus Christ Yeah, and it was it's that it's that it's the race to the bottom with boys Oh, yeah, who can say the worst thing I can right I can I can yell the n-word you know yeah This thing where shows your tits yeah, or just trying to make a lot a lot of and it's because what's the worst thing? rape right so this kids gonna yell something about right it's it's Their children yeah, yeah, I do feel they need better supervision But here's the thing they do for sure, but they shouldn't be judged publicly on a global scale like this job fair Yeah, I mean it. I disagree with pretty much everything them and their parents stand for and stuff But it's their right to demonstrate you know what I mean, so not I mean they look they're too young to know What the fuck they're even demonstrating about sure to really have a good argument about it Like to bring kids to a pro-life demonstration have them chant and yell their school Songs and and put on MAGA hats like the whole thing is so fucked up. It's really well We're I mean back to what I said about anxiety. It's just we're at each other's fucking throats and like I mean I have a bit of my act about how like I Feel like the internet was built for us to tear each other apart because we're just throwing darts and running away And and if you put us in a room together and talk it out We I think we I think we would motto motto and things like you know because we all want the same thing deep down inside We all want to take care of our kids. We all want to have fun We all want a bountiful life you know but I also say like I'm also like I love people, but I fucking hate people Like it's like you know it's like if you go through a whole day without speaking to another human being you ever had one of Those days yeah fuck that was awesome isolation that was delicious It's only if you have too much though right if you get around people too much then those days where you just you could just Recharge yeah, then you appreciate people when you see them Yeah, and like do you get that where you where you go that you're on the way of the comedy store? You're like I want to fucking go like I don't want to go up right now I'm like something's mess with me, but it's like that with therapy Comedy sometimes and the gym sometimes where it's like I don't want to fucking go, but every time I'm glad I did hmm You know I mean yeah, I know what you're saying Could have a set where I eat shit, and I'll drive home laughing Yeah I'm just like well that didn't work the thing that bothers me most about this is that they want to dox these kids and Put their address out there in favor of that ever it's just so foolish ever they're treating them like they're rational Adults that are you know fucking 50 years old really know what they're doing no And it's not gonna solve anything It's not gonna convert these kids hearts and minds by ruining their lives no You know I do understand the double standard we have had with like black youth though where it's kind of like You know this kid gets strangled to death for selling cigarettes be like a criminal like god damn it You know whereas these kids honestly because they're white are getting chance after chance after chance But I don't think their lives should be ruined. It's like I feel like we've we've we've talked enough about it These kids did what they did let's move on yeah They're more than you know who knows if they're getting chance after chance, but during this situation like that's this is the consequences of social Media the fact you could take a video of someone doing something incredibly stupid when they're 16 years old yeah And what they did was not even that stupid all he did is stand there and smirk People wanted him being a shithead, but like I okay, but was he if he's just standing there And someone comes up to him beating a drum. How are you supposed to react? I feel like they how do you think you would react? I feel like the kid walked up to the Native Americans incorrect incorrect The kid was standing there the Native American walked up to him beating the drum okay walked What happened what do you mean the guy was staying that kid wasn't in the video while the Native American gentleman was standing there pounding his drum and there are kids around him But that kid that the main kid wasn't there he walked he ended up walking up to him Yeah, okay, but with the video that I saw the kid was standing there and that guy walked up to him Here's the thing this is two hours there's the there's video of these people that's two hours long and The video that I saw those kids were standing there chanting and that guy walked to those kids and was beating his drum if that one specific kid Walked down, but still that guy instigated it by walking to them beating the drum not only that that guy got in that kids face And beat that drum inches away from his face, but I thought that's also talking about that kid I thought that kid walked up to the to the Native American I'm not sure the Native American guy walked up to the whole group Okay, I haven't seen all that all of that video I saw that American guy said that they were saying build that wall build that wall, but there's no evidence of that Okay, the guy the problem is the guy's a human the Native American guys a human right yeah, and he's probably Not prepared at all for this kind of scrutiny no way no one is there's a lot There was an interview that he did with CNN that is just full of holes okay, and it doesn't match up to the video It doesn't match up to what happened is like there's all you could pull pull that video pull that article But you try to find that article the CNN article There was an article about the article that I read either way. Yeah, I'm just I'm just inundated at this point with all of it I will say like you know I've I've said for years probably 15 20 years now I'm so glad YouTube did not exist when I was in high school. Oh my god Because you're just Yeah Twitter the things you would say on Twitter Snapchat or any of those things yeah, and I mean I I did not grow up like you know my parents generation Being mildly racist if you're white you know I grew up Pretty woke as the kids say in Portland, Oregon, so well you're in Chicago Chicago's pretty left-wing well Chicago I was I wasn't there until I was born in Chicago, but I grew up in Portland I was more woke yeah, but it was also It's funny. We had we had we had right-wing Nazi groups moving in when I was in high school Gangs from LA and then from Central Oregon and further toward Idaho you had you had this this guy named Metzger who had like a Little little camp you could go on partying If you've seen American history acts It was just like that you drink free beer and they play punk rock music and the thing that Everyone misses when they look at those groups be it a gang or a white supremacist skinhead group or whatever It's it's it's a community for people and that's where they look at it first And then they they form communities sadly over focusing hate, but I just feel like Yeah, I'm which kid So they're all they walked up to him banging their bang in the drums And he's standing there Okay, there's a kid now Right, but he's just standing there the guy walked right up to him You're showing me in the video the guy walking up to the kid and there's exactly what I said Jamie He walked right up to the kid my point here was this the video. I mean aren't these kids all mocking the traditional American Music and rhythm Jamie that Native American guy just walked up to that kid and got in his face It's clear as day. This is why I was just bringing up this like this this angle here. He's standing here There's a group of kids around them that you're micromanaging this thing. This is the worst Film to the kids he walked up to the kids and he walked up to that kid specifically got in his face There was a certain amount of separation between them. He walked to the kid and got in his face while he's beating the drum Okay, play it again. I'm right now. He's yeah, so he's walking He's walking and the kids standing there and when the kids standing there he walks up to the kid So you're doing the tomahawk chop chop they think it's funny. Yeah, they understand that people are filming They don't so here he goes It's the whole thing is so strange so strange because What are you supposed to do when someone walks up to you beating a drum? So there's the kid the kids standing there and the Native American guy now walks up to him completely Violating a space now imagine if this is a man doing this to a woman you'd say okay He's violating her space a hundred percent This is fucked up and aggressive and that's what this guy's doing. He's singing in this kid's face. It's a little kid And what is the kid supposed to do? I don't know is should he walk away? Yeah, should he say I'm sorry that someone in the past stole your ancestors land. What is he supposed to do? Yeah, I mean it's I'm no I'm not saying yes do that I'm saying what is the like the question is what does a kid do but I mean these it's just he's I Get why this guy's approaching because it's just a it's a river of people mocking him right in his culture I get it But why this one kid and why why get right in this guy's face where you're beating a drum inches from this kid's face Yeah, that's the question and what look it's the fucking hat man that goddamn polarizing stupid hat hate that hat so much Look at he's even closer to him. He's put the drum off to the side so he can get closer to this kid's face Means he expecting the kid to walk away I don't know but the kid doesn't do anything but silly he's blinking because the the beating of the drum is so close to his eyes It's weird yeah The whole thing is very weird so weird Staring that kid down. I mean why wouldn't you walk away just to define? I don't know everyone else walked away But what does he have to doesn't have me standing there and the guy decides to get in his face I think you would walk away probably Maybe someone walked because the kid that guy walked up on me I would I would definitely move I think I would probably move too because I'll be scared that guy got my face like that I think that guy's gonna hit me. I would think something is gonna go wrong. This is good. This is just too weird Kids he's 16. Yeah, I've grown ups fall for getting in a 16 year old kids face beating a drum. Yeah it's That fucking hat man. Yeah, what's also the he the Native American man rightly felt like he was being mocked Yeah, and then his traditions and his is Heritage is being mocked and these little kids. Yeah, I mean, I don't think he had the right to walk up on the kid like that But it's like where's your breaking point? Well, wait a minute. I don't think he doesn't have the right But this is where confrontation comes from. Do you have the right to make confrontation? Yeah, maybe perhaps maybe perhaps But that's not really the best way to communicate You're saying a song a Native American song and he doesn't know what the fuck you're singing, right? And you're doing it inches from his face Yeah And everyone's felt so it's a really a sign of the times that it people took clips of that and they made it out like this Little kids a cunt and even raise an azzolan head on his if you ever seen a more punchable face like then It's you're calling for violence on a kid. Is that what you're doing? It's it's it's the same You know level of and again, you know those kids like even when you were pulling that clip up I could feel my stomach make a fist from like this just I don't want to see this but you know like it It's like that dude that that that his that that kid at the cub game who had the game in his in his earphones And he caught the ball which the outfielder was definitely not gonna catch anyway And they blamed him for the Cubs loss of the series and they had to score that kid out Yeah, and I thought the kid reached forward though. He did but I if you look at the tape I don't think that the outfielder had it now Fitter was pointing like you fucked up kid like you ruined it and it was kind of This well, I understand when you're playing Major League ball one mistake could mean the end of your career and your family's man When I saw I think that's different when I saw that I thought that kid fucked up the game That it it could be argued. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah, but that's like you're staying there It's blaming one tiny play on the entire game You can't do that and the fact the fact that back to what your point of punch the kid in the face That kid had to be escorted out of Wrigley field where people were going to kill him Right there were drunk people that were going to throw hit that kid into traffic. Can we see that video of the guy? I think that kid actually did fuck up that game. I think the difference is that kid reached into the playing field What he did was definitely wrong. Yeah, and legal and let's see and everything. Yeah, let's check it out tail the tape Oh Steve, our crack. Here's the ball. It's going it's going it's going Wait a minute, let me see one more time back to the back of the replay. No, no, but just back it up slow, okay, I Mean I think I take it back. I had I had I think hey one more time I Think I remembered it wrong. Oh Yeah, they stole it. They stole it from him. Fuck it. I take it all back. He had the ball I take it all back that kid fucked it up. Yeah They literally did he took it. He literally took it from him in the playing field Yeah, you little cunt. Oh He's got yeah spray on him people probably threw beers on him probably yeah, but but but it's the other thing of like threatening A kid's life. That's crazy. But also it's like if you're a kid and the balls right there Yeah, you're gonna reach for it. You're not gonna be thinking this guy's gonna catch or not gonna catch It's like you have the chance to catch the ball