Joe Rogan | The Nursing Home STD Epidemic

And so now he's in an Alzheimer's home, but yeah, that's the part about, it's scary about Turner 50, but he's like in there nailing all these chicks. We go in there and he's like making out with some girl with a nasal cannula on and carrying her oxygen bottle. And he's convinced that they've been married for a few years. I have a bit in my act about the outbreak of STDs in nursing homes. It's insane. It's out of control because of Viagra. Oh, it's not only just that, these people. I mean, my dad has really advanced Alzheimer's and he knows that he misses his Mustang. I took all his bicycles away and I need to get laid. That's it. And he's in there just running around. We got called and my sister and I take care of my dad in that manner. And so we get called to the home, almost like being called to the principal's office as a parent. Your dad's literally in here fucking everybody. Like. I literally had the feeling of getting janked in there to the principal's office like, your kids will fuck up. Your dad's fucking everyone. But you had to be proud. Oh, heck yeah. I'm like, what does he care? What do you all care? Why do you care? That's my point. That's what I say about him in my act. Come on, man. How do you want these people to die out? Want their heart to stop or they're playing bingo? Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a good time. Don't let them hurt each other. Well, see, I'm in the healthcare business also, home healthcare. You are? And so I know, yeah, I've got a lot of different ventures. How are you in the home healthcare business? Home healthcare with my wife. 16, 17 years. Maybe longer. So in the state of Texas, it's probably the second or third largest home healthcare. But I'm talking real home healthcare. Like you gotta get shots, you gotta get therapy. These are RNs that are going in. So you go into bathe grandma. Well, what is your business? So you hire a bunch of nurses to take care of people that are at home? Yeah, it's prescribed through Medicare or insurance or whatever to where maybe somebody gets a knee or a shoulder replacement or maybe it's an injury or cancer or what have you. And so it's a very rewarding business. We probably have 3,000, 2,500, 3,000 patients in each given time all around the state of Texas. That's amazing. And so it's a fun business to be in that you're really getting help people, but at the same time, this shit out there is crazy. These guys are, they're getting after it. You go into the nursing home and it's like, damn dude, this 78 year old dude has had more ass than I had in the last week. They don't have anything else to do. Nothing. Yeah, why not? Why not? My thought is why not? Well, I bought my dad, you know, he's got his room. That's kind of like an apartment or whatever. And I bought him stripper sheets, not stripper sheets, but twister sheets with all the red and blue and green tops on it. And I hung the board thing up behind his bed. I'm like, dad, if you're getting after you, might as well have fun. I mean, fuck bingo or freaking whatever. So when, because he has Alzheimer's, does he remember when he gets after it? I think it's that he's just so focused on it. And he was, what would you call him? A Casa Nive or he was, my dad got some serious ass my whole life. I mean, as a teenager, I was like, God damn, my dad's like banging everything. Well, I guess when your wife leaves you with kids, when you're young, you just realize, okay, forget about this long-term shit. Yeah, let's just enjoy the moment. Yeah, but I mean, my dad was straight up product of the sixties and seventies, you know? So he like would dye his hair blonde and his eyebrows blonde and shit, walk around looking like Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused. All right, all right, all right. Driving his Mustang, he'd come pick me up from school. What kind of Mustang do you have? Back then, it was like a 72 Fastback, red and black with a four speed and he'd be hammering it. And I'm like, five, six years old, I'd fall on the floor because nobody wore a freaking seatbelt back then. And his idea of after school care was the skating rink, because he knew that thing would be open till nine. So drop us off, I'm at the skating rink eating a 99 cent corn dog meal and he'd come pick us up, usually around 10 or 11 with some irate skating rink owners sitting there pissed off. He's like, hey, you know. Oh, wow. He was a badass, or is a badass still. I mean, he's nailing chicks in a freaking nursing home. Come on. It's so weird when you become an adult, isn't it? Oh yeah. You know, when you think about, uh oh, round four, here we go. We gotta drink one for Raymond Rawlings. Yeah, for sure, Raymond Rawlings. Raymond Miller Rawlings, baddest motherfucker that ever lived. Salute. For sure. I mean, I guarantee you he got more ass than you and I did this whole week. I believe it. He's freaking probably banging one right now. Yeah. He's like, hey, what's that noise in the back? Sounds like my son. Plus, the goal is, or the bonus rather, is that they can't get pregnant. You got that. Yeah, I mean, it's over. Yeah, well, I mean, that's not happening, but you can still get some diseases and stuff. Yes. And they do. Yes, they do. But the thing is, where are they getting them? Well, somebody had it and then the next thing you know, all 100 people in that building have done it. Right, but did they have it already? Or did they getting it from the building? No, they had it already. They had it already. So you dealing with herpes or you dealing with like the real weird ones like syphilis and gonorrhea and shit. The syphilis and gonorrhea is like, hey, you got to treat this. Where are you getting this? Oh, no, it's prevalent. It's everything. Right, but the question is like, are they getting it from outside sources? Maybe. Maybe. I mean, who knows? You had that, unfortunately, they just had the baby, you know, that's been invalid for 20 something years. That's crazy. Yeah. Somebody knocked her up and I'm like, holy shit, there it is. In 2007, 2011, chlamydia infections amongst Americans 65 and over increased by 31% and syphilis by 52%. Yeah, but the problem with that is 52%. All right, okay. Let's say there's 100 cases and then the next year there's 150. All right, that's 52%. Nah, tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands. There's millions of people. Millions of people in nursing homes. My dad's probably in there going, come on baby, I'm gonna buy some chlamydia. I don't like the percent though. I don't like the number percent because if there's four people and then the next year there's six, that's 50% increase. You know what I'm saying? I don't like numbers like that because you could make, oh my God, it's an epidemic. I want numbers like human beings. Yeah, well, I'm sure it's out there on the web, but like I said, my dad probably thinks chlamydia is a flower he's giving this girl. I'm gonna get you some chlamydia and we're gonna have a good time. Yeah, there's no condoms in nursing homes. We got a worse one. 43,000 reported cases of chlamydia among people 45 and older. Okay, but I'm 45 and older. That's normal. 45 and older people are walking around, meeting new people. I wouldn't think, 43,000 seems like a very low number. Super low, that's what I'm saying. That's why I don't like these percentage numbers. Gonorrhea had, see from doing this podcast all these years, I understand when people can make things seem greater than they really are. Go back to that, Jamie. Do you have your AARP card? No, but someone sent one to us, to me and Ari, to the comedy store, but I think that was some asshole. 43,000 sounds low. Yeah, primary and secondary syphilis. 5,650 cases were reported in this age group. But that age group, 45, the thing about 45 and older is, 45 year old people in 2019, it's not like 45 year old people in the 60s. Absolutely. These animals are out there fucking hitting the gym and doing squats and flying to Thailand. They're probably getting it from the sweat on the gym bench.