Joe Rogan | The Mysteries of the T-REX

You know what's interesting to me? People that buy dinosaur skeletons, apparently there's a giant market for them in China. They'll spend like a million dollars and buy a dinosaur skeleton. You walk in this motherfucker's house, fuck your artwork bitch. That's pretty badass. You got a goddamn T-Rex in my living room. You imagine? Yeah. You walk into some guy's palace, some emerald palace, and you open these two fucking teakwood doors, and you see a dinosaur in the middle of his front entrance. That's what they're going for. So they're buying these. There's nothing. Nicholas Cage returns stolen Mongolian dinosaur skull he bought at Gallery. Tyrannosaurus. What is that animal? Tyrannosaurus batar? Have you heard of that? Yeah. P-A-T-A-A-R. It will be repatriated. Ah, I like that word. After it was bought by the actor from Beverly Hills Gallery in 2007, a T-Rex skull. Wow. What? He bought it for $276,000. That's a pretty good deal. Well, it was 2007, I think he said. Yeah. Shit wasn't worth as much back then. Fuck, man. Nothing stops you in your tracks, and like Museum of Natural History is a good fucking dinosaur skeleton. Especially the ones that eat things, like meat. I don't want that big-ass stupid plant-eaten brontosaurus. Get that bitch out of my face. What is that? That's a weird elephant. He's a fucking vegan. Who wants to hang out with a vegan? Get him out of here. I'm not scared. I want to see teeth. Let me see teeth and claws. What a shit design, huh? Giant head, little tiny baby arms. Yeah. What a shit design. All right. What is he doing with those arms? What the fuck is the purpose of those arms? There's the only animal that I can think of that developed that way. Was he a plant-eater? No. T-Rex? Oh, T-Rex. Yeah, I'm thinking of the other one. They don't know if T-Rex was a predator or if T-Rex was a scavenger. They think by the shape. There's some talk that by the shape of his bones, that what he might have been doing was using those bones to crush giant dinosaur bones. Uh-huh. And that he might be surviving on dead things. Yeah. And that they also had some speculation that they might have had... They don't know what they really looked like because they don't know the skin color. They had some speculation that they might have had faces like vultures. Like red fucked up really brightly colored faces, just to let you know they're disgusting and they're hitty. You know, because like when you see vultures, it's not a coincidence that they're the grossest fucking looking animal on the planet and all they eat is dead shit. And they're big. Vultures are fucking big. That's a big animal flopping around with these giant wings. But we're not nearly as impressed by them as we are with an eagle. You see, like the vulture is never going to be the fucking national bird. Get out of here with that bullshit. We kill it ourselves, bro. We're not here for some scavenger ass, fucked up, red faced, stupid bird. Yeah. The Smithsonian, I think it opens on the 8th of June. Just start... They have this brand new deep time. Oh, that's Irish elk. Natural History Dinosaur Exhibit. And this is some of the highlights of what they have there. They have this like T-Rex eating a triceratops. Yeah, Jesus Christ. And this giant Irish elk, a saber-toothed cat. Whoa. Bunch of cool stuff. Like you're just talking about it. I'm sure they might have some of these answers to the questions you have. And this is where? DC Smithsonian. Natural History. When does this come out? It's opening now. It's like they just built it and they're just doing all the press work. Fuck. Seems pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, who owns the dinosaur skeletons? Who owns that? The Smithsonian, I think, is free because it's US taxes. So some of the stuff I guess we technically own, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. DC or New York, one of them doesn't charge for any of the museums. I think it might be DC. Yes, Smithsonian stuff is all free. When it's open, it should be free. My friend John Dudley knows a dude who owns a ranch in Montana and they found a T-Rex on his property. No shit. Yeah. Wow. Found a bone out there moving around stuff on his property. Like what the fuck is this? So it's cleaning it up, find something, brings in some paleontologists. They start digging and they're like, whoa, daddy. Yeah. We got a T-Rex here. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's a fucking job. People get obsessed with that and they go, I'm going to be an archeologist when I get older and then you're standing in a fucking desert with a toothbrush for eight hours a day trying to find a bone. Watch that. Who is that dude, Sam, the guy's name from Sam O'Neill? Sam Neill? Sam Neill. Sam Neill from Jurassic Park. Yeah. Nobody wants to be him. Everybody wants to be Jeff Goldblum, the guy who shows up with a sexy jacket and says, um, life finds a way. Yeah. It appears. It appears that life finds a way. World's biggest T-Rex discovered. Jesus Christ. What is this? Oh, estimated 19,500 pounds. Whoa. Holy shit. Damn. Holy shit. And what can those arms even do? Look at those things. Yeah, the arms are weird, man. They're so weird. And look how big the feet and legs are and the giant ass head. That's the thing that thinking like that this wasn't something that chased things down. They just sort of bent over and just jacked whatever was on the ground. Yeah. But I don't know if that's like, uh, I think there was some speculation. Hey, we should Google this because there was something about the physics of its body that it wouldn't be able to run fast because it's so weirdly shaped. They're like trying to figure out why is its head so big? It has little tiny ass arms and these big ass legs, this big fucking tail. Can that thing run? And then there was also some speculation that the atmosphere was way different back then. And the atmosphere was much more oxygen rich. Maybe things just were different. Like the physics. I think they could run longer and faster. Yeah. Like maybe even the physics of Earth was a little different in terms of like the way we interacted with the gravity. We interacted with the atmosphere rather. The atmosphere held them up somehow or another. Like it was thicker. But I read things that I'm high and I don't remember what the fuck I read. I think this is just saying that it could, it should have been slower maybe than like it was shown in the Jurassic park. It wouldn't have been running that fast. It says running would have broken an adult Tyrannosaurus Rex's legs. See I don't, but okay. Google this because so now we know that there's people that think that he couldn't run because of the shape. Google the atmosphere was different during the Jurassic period. Because there was some, I mean it might've been horseshit. It was just an article that was written about how like we have to take into account the whole world was like different. Before that giant asteroid came and fucked up everything and slammed into Chichen Itza. You know that. It says that the oxygen levels might have been about 20 to 30% higher during that time period. So it might've been harder to breathe I guess. I'm not sure. Harder to breathe? One drop in oxygen from roughly 30% to the atmosphere of the atmosphere to about 10% may have contributed to mass extinctions. Oh, from the impact. The dinosaurs. So that was one of the things they thought killed. There's a bunch of different ideas they have of how quickly the dinosaurs died off. But one of the more interesting ones that I saw recently was that they all died almost instantly. It says it would have made it more humid with higher levels of carbon dioxide and more likely more cloud cover. It just says gasping for breath. I just keep seeing that stuff. It says harder to breathe during that time period. Yeah, that doesn't have anything to do with the way they moved though. There was something about, I remember reading something about the way a T-Rex moved, but it's a fucking mystery because it's not normal. You look at a crocodile, you're like, oh, I get it. Uses those four legs to get you with this big fat face. It makes sense. Then you look at a T-Rex and you're like, why are you up in the air like that? Why is your head so big? What's with the little legs? The ones in the front? What are those things? What's with the arms? What's up with this weird body you have? The weight of that head is illogical. Giant head. Yeah. It's a crazy head. Let's get that thing fucking shaved down. Yeah, he's an insult. Maybe that's why he's so mad. Can't fuck. Yeah, how did they fuck? How did they fuck? How do they fuck? Jesus Christ, with that tail. How do you get at the pussy with that tail? That's a crazy ass tail. You'd have to come at it from the side. You'd have to tackle her. You'd have to blindside her, tackle her, get a leg up in the air, get in like that. You'd have to get one of them legs, but then what the fuck? You have no arms. You got no arms. So you can't. No, she can't give you a hand job. T-Rex Tiny Arms may have been vicious weapons. Save it, nerd. Save it, nerd. What? Unlike his fucking giant face filled with huge swords. He's got a huge head filled with swords. I don't know. These small arms are a necessary trade-off. Are they saying it might be the remnants of little wings of flightless birds? Yeah, that's what I thought I was looking at. I thought maybe at one point I'd heard that there's some, one scientist thought those were like remnants of wings. Oh, that makes sense. And they weren't actually maybe arms, but they're wings. Well that totally makes sense when you think about like ostriches and shit like that, that they used to have wings and they turned into those things. Let me see it again. Let me see his fucking little shitty arms. That makes way more sense. That makes way more sense. That they're the remnants of four wings. Because like that, if you think about what an ostrich looks like, you could kind of morph an ostrich into a T-Rex, right? Yeah. I mean, they don't have a tail, but they do have those fucked up legs, giant ass legs and a weird body and a fucking head. And when they look at you, they look at you like they look right through you. Like you don't mean shit. Like if you got run over by a truck in front of an ostrich, they wouldn't even flinch. They don't give a fuck about you. And just like a dinosaur, they just have this bird face. They have zero compassion for you. Yeah, ostriches have no empathy. That's why they have small arms. They never hug anybody. No, assholes. All of those fucking creatures that fly around or used to, they can all suck it. All birds, all birds are gross. I love when people keep them as pets. See if you can find a bird as a pet. My bird loves me. Yeah, keep your window open. Yeah. Let's see what happens. T-Rex used to look like Vulture. This is a weird one. They don't even know what they're covered in feathers. They think they might have been covered in feathers. That's a more recent speculation. They think that all dinosaurs were covered in feathers. Wow. Yeah, or most of them. That's why you see chickens. Chicken literally is a dinosaur. Just one that lived, one that made it. Oh, that's one. That's creepy looking. No, there was one where it had a red face. There was some... Yeah, that's it right there. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's how they had it done. With feathers and shit, feathers and a big old red face. I don't know why we're attached to one idea what that fucking thing looked like. All we have is bones. We have no idea what the skin was like. It easily could have been covered in feathers. Isn't it amazing that every kid... I don't know if it's girls too, but every boy gets fascinated with dinosaurs at a certain age. Isn't that weird? Oh, yeah. It's like archetypal. Deep in your brain that wants to know and connect with dinosaurs when you're four or five years old. Because it's such a fucking wild hail Mary by nature. They ruled for so long and they were snuffed out by a rock. If that rock didn't hit Earth, we would be under the rain of these vicious fucking reptiles roaming the planet, eating everything. We would have never evolved to where we are. We would have been hiding in little holes in the ground. We'd be little mammals. That's as good as you're ever going to get. You're never going to develop a fucking city. Good luck, bitch. There's raptors everywhere. They're just running around jacking things. You don't think Homo sapiens would have... Never. Never made it. Never got to that part. We were moles for hundreds of millions of years. We were these weird fucking creatures. And then from 65 million years ago, that mole evolved into a human being, according to these fucking scientists. All their fancies. They have an agenda. $65,000 a year that you have to pay for education. Yeah.