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Rory Albanese is a comedian, comedy writer and television producer. He was an executive producer and writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and also appeared on The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore.
And then all you remember- So hold on, go up to the top so we can read the thing. All you remember is being held down. Human pig hybrids created in the lab here are the facts. Ooh. Whenever you hear that, they've already been making people out of pigs. Right? By the time you hear that, by the time it gets to us, I mean, how far down the ladder are we on the information food chain? You know? Yeah. I mean, the people that- Look at those pig lungs. Ooh, their pig lungs are breathing. What the fuck? Yeah, this is nuts. Watch pig lungs filter human blood in a lab. Holy shit, man. I have a Google Alert set for that. Watch pig lungs filter human blood in a lab. You'll get overwhelmed. It's every day. Every day. Just don't stop with the pig blood. Yeah. Well, they once grew a human ear on a rat, didn't they? They grew a human ear on the back of a mouse. Yeah. I don't know what that was about. It looked like a tree. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what it looks like. It does look exactly like that. That's weird. Fuck, it's weird. Yep. Maybe that's what Medusa meth came from. People growing and getting that, you know? Right. Oh, like Snakehead? Right. Maybe it just got distorted over the years to be like you froze like a stone, but instead of just you were just covered like a rock. Yeah, I mean, a disease like that, if you got that shit a thousand years ago, people would absolutely be convinced you were cursed. Yeah. Like something did that to you. A demon possessed you. Well, think about like the logic to early medicine, you know? Yeah. It's like, it's like your head hurts. We should let some air out of it. It goes all that kind of shit. You leave your holes in your head. Yeah. How about someone had a seizure. Maybe a little pressure in there. They thought you were possessed. Yeah. Like if you had a seizure. Like the devil's inside there. Maybe that'll. Hold her down. The old Steve Martin sketch on SNL. I'm the barber. Remember that? No. He was like a medieval barber, which is like the medicine man. You know, he's like, trust me, huh? Who's the barber here? We're just going to drain your face. You know, like it's built, you know, all of his remedies were just death. I watched the exorcist again the other night. Whoa. They'd go through the head. It's what a lobotomy was. They go through the eyeball. Right through your eye. Right through the eye. I thought that's going up your, oh wow. I thought it was going up their nose. And then they just scramble it. Stir it around. Imagine. Oh, Jesus Christ. What a great idea. Jesus Christ. What a great idea. No anesthesia. No anesthesia. Just stick a spike in my eye. Oh, they put you under. I think they put you under. Sometimes they didn't, I think. Oh, Jesus Christ. Sometimes they didn't. Sometimes they just nuked your brain while you're sitting there. They're scrambling it around. Just imagine that they did that. What year are they doing it that way? A lot. Dude, they did it a lot. Go to that photo of that kid right above where your cursor is. Right there. Bam. Whoa. Whoa. They lobotomized that kid. Look at his eyes. They're all swollen up from the blood. What the fuck is this? Holy shit. They did it to a kid. Nuts, dude. They did it to a kid. It's like he just needed some Adderall. Holy shit. I feel like there was a place they were doing them so often that they couldn't even do it as many as they needed. There were hundreds a day. What? Yeah, I'll look it up real quick. Yeah, please do. Oh, my God. That's insane. Can you imagine that they thought that that was a good thing to do? It's insane. And they thought that was a good thing to do during the time where you can take pictures. Yeah. Like these are photographs. Cameras existed. Yeah, cameras existed. Pretty modern era. Holy shit. Yeah. And then just going on and lobotomies were going on. One of the Kennedys had a lobotomy. What? Yeah, there's a Kennedy sister who had a lobotomy. For real? Yeah, that shit was going on until like the 50s and 60s. Remember, I remember... Hundreds was an exception. One flew over the Cuckoo's nest. It's like the end of the movie. Did they lobotomize him at the end of the movie or did they electric shock him? He was kind of done. He was like farthing out the mouth. Yeah. I don't know if they did it with... I think it was electric shock though, wasn't it? Yeah, but I don't know if it was the same outcome. Okay. Look at this. During its heyday, the 1940s and 1950s, the lobotomy was performed on some 40,000 patients in the United States and around 10,000 in Western Europe. Holy shit. The procedure became popular because there was no alternative and because it was seen to alleviate several social crises overcrowding in psychiatric institutions and the increasing cost of caring for mentally ill patients. So they couldn't take care of him. So they just scrambled him and fed him gruel. Yeah. The guy was doing 20 to 25 a day. So like one every hour. Unlike now when we just let them wander the streets. What the fuck, man? What the fuck, man? That's crazy how many people that is. Yeah, look up to Kennedy. I think it's one of... Like JFK's sisters got a lobotomy. Dude, I was in Fresno recently. I was doing a gig. I was doing a gig in Fresno. I was doing a gig in Fresno. Kennedy. 1918. Mentally impaired.