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Bari Weiss is an American opinion writer and editor. In 2017, Weiss joined The New York Times as a staff editor in the opinion section. Her new book "How to Fight Anti-Semitism" is now available. https://amzn.to/2Gh7WIL
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And, you know, I think for someone like Kathy, who's experienced Kathy Griffin, who's experienced that public shaming. She's right. That amazes me, right? Like she's been publicly shamed herself in the most horrific way has basically had to live underground. And now she's saying shame him, name him and dox it. I don't understand that. It reinforces people's idea that they should be more, more committed to their side, more committed to their team. The only way you're going to get any support if you have been attacked and isolated, not alone, is to get back deep, deep into the team again. Like how do you get back deep into the team again? You got to be fucking rabid, you know, and that's part of it. It's a natural reaction that people have to sort of signal to everyone else on the team. They're all in. They're fully committed. They don't even care about their fucking career. I'm an activist. Like that kind of shit happens and it's, it's people that want love. That's what a lot of it is. It's they do recognize that there's something wrong. They are reacting to a real thing. I'm not denying that, but I am saying that the reason, the overwhelming reason, the motivation for this kind of overzealous reaction is often a signaling thing. So they want to let everybody know. Totally. I'm on the fucking team, man. I'm all in. Let's go punch some Nazis. And the people that I've talked to, people that have said that in real life, and I'm like, man, you can't punch anybody. You shouldn't punch anybody. They're going to punch you back. What do you, don't punch them. First of all, who's a- Or save your punch for a real one. Yeah, a real one. In Poland or in Hungary right now. Right, right. Not a 16 year old kid who maybe has no idea what that hat signifies. Well, I mean- And I mean, there's a broader point, which is like the very same people. Like one of the sort of wisdoms of criminal justice reform, right, which I believe in is that we shouldn't try kids as adults and we should forgive. We should have greater generosity and mercy and forgiveness for the crimes of a child, even if they've committed them. Those same people are the ones saying dox him and shame him, generally, politically. Well, you're seeing that now. And this is, again, there's never been a doxing before. There was no doxing, right? How long has doxing been around? A decade? Well, like since Game or Gate is when it got huge, right? Maybe let's go crazy and say the first doxing was 20 years ago. That's a blip, right? That's so recent. So this is not a thing that people have really had to balance out in their mind when to do it and when not to do it. They just do it. I think people have no idea of what that looks like. And unless you've experienced it or watched someone you know experience it, it's like an abstraction. Because these people are abstractions. They're two dimensional little puppets. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. And this extreme lack of empathy, the lack of empathy towards anyone who doesn't share your position. This is very strange. It's piss poor thinking and it's everywhere. And everyone wants to feel like not being a part of one of the tribes is an extremely lonely position and you get called all the bad names because people want you to be a part of their tribe. And people don't want to be called bad names and they want to feel like they're in an in-group. Like emotionally, I totally get that. Yeah. Because it kind of sucks being homeless. Well it's just... Politically homeless. Yes. It's just when you got a president that's so polarizing and you have an opposition to him that's so... There's so much momentum in opposing him. I think this is a giant wedge in between these two sides and then you have that hat. And that hat, if that kid wasn't wearing that hat, I guarantee it'd be like 20% less hate. It would be... Oh yeah. People would still get mad at him because he was... Like I've seen people say when a native elder walks up to you and he's banging his drums, get the fuck out of the way. I saw that. Like, come on. You can't expect that. You can't just beat your drum. First of all, you got right in the kid's face. Like inches from the kid's face. Pretty amazing the restraint this kid had to just smile. And the idea that you're gonna judge this kid, millions and millions and millions of people are going over this right now. That kid woke up that morning. He had no fucking idea. He was a kid in a cult. He's in a Catholic cult school and he's going to some weird thing, some march for life where people are trying to kill babies. We got to stop him from killing babies. And he goes there and there's this black Israelites calling him the faggots and there's all these people calling them names and then all of a sudden this guy's beating a drum in front of his face. And we're supposed to, we're supposed to dock this kid now because he smirked. That's a crazy, an impossible lack of empathy. It's impossible to defend. Unless you hate boys, unless you hate all boys, because boys are dumb. Like 16 year old boys are almost universally dumb. They all grow up to be men. Some of those men will be your best friend. Some of those men will be amazing. Some of those men you'd be so happy to see. When you see them, you give them a big hug. Okay. That's me. That's me. I was a stupid fucking 16 year old and I'm a man now and I try to be as nice as I can to everybody. I go way out of my way to be a kind person. That could be that kid too. Like what you're doing is not good for anybody. It's not good for society to take this trend and run with it. And this is what people do now. You know, you dock 16 year olds. And the turbo charges the right. Like that's what I think people are not quite understanding that dynamic. If you're someone who, you know, is frustrated with Trump and is maybe moving to the middle and, you know, imagine that person. It's easy to imagine. Then you see this and you're like, I don't want those people being in charge of me. I don't want those people running the government. That's the like visceral reaction. I just, I don't think they're understanding the like implications of what they're doing. I don't think they understand. Maybe they do. Maybe they do. No, there's no mastermind behind this. There's no understanding. I don't need a mastermind. I don't think they do understand their implications. When you have a spectrum, right? The far right and the far left, they have a very similar reaction as they drive a person to the other side. The person that sees the far right and sees repulsive racism and bigotry that, you know, build that wall, fuck these Mexicans, fuck those little kids. They should have known better. They're all illegals. That kind of person that pushes people towards progressivism, it pushes people towards much more liberal, even socialist ideologies. Like fuck that grossness. And the same thing can be said for some, like I'm going to send you something, Jamie. This is a real poster that Antifa is sending. They were putting on walls and fence posts and shit in the Pacific Northwest. And it's actually kind of hilarious because it's so stupid. I'm going to send it to Jamie and Jamie's going to put it up on the screen here. But it says, oops, wrong Jamie. Sorry Jamie Kilstein. Here you go, buddy. I just sent it. It says when you date a white, it's not all right. And it's like, it's telling people to not date white people. Kind of whites is propagation of hatred or passion, homophobia, sexism, transphobia, racism and ableism. Now, if I was... So are we supposed to sterilize white people? There it is. We can see it up on the big screen, so it's even grosser. Cool. That's awesome. But see, this is the thing. Racism is terrible, right? So how do you stop racism? Well, racism can only be perpetrated by white people. Oh, well the problem is white people. We got to stop white people. Well, now you're racist. Like you're literally being racist to stop... Is this really everywhere? I've never seen this. Well, the people are finding it and posting it online. Oh my God. Oh my God. And someone sent it to me. I don't know if it's everywhere. It's probably just one asshole, right? Do you see the... But the person exists, right? That person exists and they think they're a progressive. Do you see the cold civil war that we're in in this country becoming a hot one? Yes. No, I hope not. That's why I worry about this punch stuff. Like where does this go? Where does this go? No one knows. If we did, we could make a lot of money in the stock market. This is why I'm concerned, especially because I understand violence a lot better than most people do. You can't just say, go punch people. When Reza Azlan says, have you seen a more punchable face? That is so fucking dangerous because you're almost saying, go punch this kid. I saw someone else. I accidentally favored something. I didn't mean to favor it. I hope you unfavored it. I did. Someone pointed to me and I'm just lucky that I looked at it because I normally don't even read comments, but somebody pointed out that I favored a really preposterous tweet that said, honest, it said, the reply from the school was pathetic and impotent. Name these kids. Oh, that's Kathy Griffin. Here's the one that said, this guy said, God damn it. I can't find it. He was basically saying no need to, here it is. A face like that never changes. This image will define his life. No one need ever forgive him. This is a person with a blue check mark by their name. No one need ever forgive him. A face like that defines his life. That is virtual signaling in the most toxic form. So, so dangerous to think like that. The idea that, I'm sorry, I was trying to. No, it's okay. The idea that people cannot change and are irredeemable is crazy. Cancel culture. We're talking about this with Kanye, honestly. We're talking about cancel culture. When was he on the show? We were talking about a person. Oh, okay. On the phone. Okay, Joe. He's got to be on the show. Okay, cool. Allegedly. He's a little nervous about it. I'd like to see him with the samurai sword posing in front of him. I think he would go with the in line musk gun. Yeah, you're probably right. I looked up that poster. It's been, it was first posted over two years ago and it supposedly is like a troll. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. That makes sense. I mean, I think the world where it's hard to find what's a troll and what's not, what I was going to say that if I was cynical, I would say that if I was a person who's like far right, I would put that up. Exactly. You'd put that up, of course. Just to fuck with these people and this sweet people. I mean, it's basically like some CIA, PsyOps type shit. I mean, this is, but we're so through the looking glass here that like that post that I just read you, that's a real post about this guy is unredeemable. No one need ever forgive him. It's just as bad, in my opinion, as that poster saying, don't date white people. It's all crazy. You're depressing me. No, don't be depressing. No, no, no, no. I'm just like, you have to like fight. I have to fight this feeling of despair. You have to like, I find myself fighting it because the basic, like some basic virtues, right, that used to be normal, right? Like civility, right? Civility has now become for some people a code word for like complicity with Nazism. Like if you're civil and you believe in civility and you believe in treating people decently and giving them the benefit of the doubt, like that word itself has become a code or a signal in a negative way. Empathy, like doubt, even saying it, I don't know. These basic virtues seem to have been like swept away and I don't know when they got lost. A key ingredient for sure, the thing that hardened the epoxy was Trump. I think these trends are going in that direction anyway, but he capitalized on that. He's a very smart manipulator. He knew how to capitalize on that. This chant of build that wall, it's not an accident that that's something that he concentrates on and it's not just that they're in a political battle right now because if they get him to back down off the wall, then he looks like a loser when 2020 comes around. He looks less powerful to all his people. There's that for sure, but there's also this, he's so egregious, like he's so that guy. Well, he's gotten rid of all the guardrails. He's broken the dam. My question, like thinking about how we're going to get beyond this is how do we build it back? Because he's broken something or he's signifying the fact that it was broken, one or the other. I think that he was both a symptom of something that was broken that we didn't recognize and now he's further catalyzed that brokenness. Well, I think both sides have to recognize that the other side has some points. That's one thing. And then I think we also have to treat ourselves like we're all a family and we're all on a big team because that's what we really are. If we really are the United States of America, I mean, what is a country? I mean, if anything, we're supposed to be a team. The idea that we're separated and we're two teams in this one team, the real differences in terms of like who gets elected, like how it's going to affect your life, involve business, involve some social policies, involve some things. But the way we interact with each other on a day to day doesn't involve that at all. That has to be fixed first. The way we think about each other on a day to day basis. There used to be a time where you could have a conservative friend and you could be a liberal and you could be a fucking long-haired hippie guy. And as long as you're a good, hardworking person who didn't let their lawn go crazy, your next door neighbor who is like a Goldwater Republican would talk to you. Totally. And you would go, how's it going, Mike? What's going on with the guys at the force or trying to put together this case and this and that. And a professor could live right next to a cop and they would be friends and one would be conservative and one would be liberal and they would make fun of each other a little bit and rib each other a little bit. And that would be the end of it. That would be it. It wouldn't be this civil war that we're experiencing right now, right now just verbal and hopefully it stays that way. But it's confusing. It's confusing because there's a lack of, a frustrating lack of empathy that when I look at human beings and when I look at people that aren't seeing what everyone else is seeing or they're not seeing things objectively and they're irrational and overly emotional, I always assume there's something else they're running from. I always assume when I see someone lashing out and insulting everyone around them, I always assume it's not the people around them. It's something internal. It's something maybe some existential angst they're fighting against, some realization of the futility of life, whatever the fuck it is.