69 views
•
6 years ago
0
0
Share
Save
3 appearances
Jeff Ross is a comedian, writer, producer, and director, also known as the “Roastmaster General.”
6 appearances
Dave Attell is a stand-up comic, actor, and writer. Look for his new Netflix special "Hot Cross Buns" on March 26.www.daveattell.com
52 views
•
6 years ago
55 views
•
6 years ago
20 views
•
6 years ago
Show all
This is a new genre of TV show of the real guy versus the guy who played it in the movie. I want to see doctors against guys who played a doctor. I want to see astronauts against guys who think they're an astronaut. I want to see it all. Tom Hanks versus John Glenn. Navy SEAL from a movie versus real Navy SEAL. Dinosaur versus chicken. I want to see it. Isn't that what Mark Wahlberg said? If he was on the plane, it wouldn't have been on down. Spy versus... Did he really say that though? Yeah. That's what everybody says. I never heard him say that. It's a funny thing to think. It's a crazy thing to think. You know, who knows what the fuck you would do if you thought that you were just going to land somewhere? The idea is that you knew what was going to happen before it happened. Nobody knows. While that shit's going down, someone's got box cutters. They're holding a stewardess by the neck. You don't know what the fuck's happening. You have no idea what's going on. You're afraid to move. Yeah. And I'm sure that a lot of people would step up, but it could potentially cost that person their life. And then when the plane lands, that person's dead. If you don't know, right? You don't know the actual scenario. Now, obviously, we know it was a horrible thing, and you should do whatever you can to stop them, because they're going to kill everybody no matter what. But back then, you didn't know. If someone just took the plane and landed it, and the stewardess lived, you would be like, glad I didn't do anything. You jumped up, and you cut her face off. It's like in those moments when you don't know what's going to happen, I said, if I was on that plane, OK, with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first class cabin, then me saying, OK, we're going to land somewhere safely. Don't worry. That see, I see where he's coming from, right? He's got kids that he loves. He's got a family that he loves. He wouldn't have sat still. That's what he's saying. Yeah, that's what he's saying. And in his mind, he probably has that conviction. Even if it meant ruining everybody's life. Would it work? If it didn't work, what do they have? Do you know what they have? They don't know. You know they have a box cutter. Do they have anything else? How many of them are there? They don't know. Is anybody going to back you up? Does anybody else know how to fight? You could get fucked up. You could step up thinking you're Billy Badass, and this guy is a trained bar artist who smashes your face in and cuts you up with a box cutter. That could happen too. It still pulls his belt off and blows the plane up. You could. Who the fuck knows, man? That's why there's professionals, right? That's why there's professional air marshals that can assess the situation and figure out. And obviously, either they weren't there on that plane or they couldn't help. I got short thinking about it if I was in that position. How could you? Who the fuck knows what you would do? Well, since I look like I'm on the other team, I would have said, my friends. I'm like, I'm not part of the team. Dave, do your fine guys. Fuck, man. Yeah. You'll be, you know, have you ever been so scared that you're frozen instant for a second? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can't know what the right thing to do is. And the wrong thing could be so catastrophic, right? You don't know. Plus, you get as far as to say, like, that he's making announcements on the plane. Yeah. And this is all happening. Like, we're landing safe. Like, he's now the pilot. In the movies, he gets to be a hero, right? That's true. In the movie, you get to grab the intercom at the end and go, thanks for flying so and so air. Sometimes you say things like that because that's how you feel and you don't think about how other people are going to perceive it. That's what I would assume that statement is. It's how he felt like, fuck that. I'm landing this fucking plane. I'm going to kill these fucking terrorists. Yeah. That's what he told his kids one night. The problem is you're saying that to billions of people and billions of people hear that and they go, what? And then all these people get to assess your statement, whether or not it has any makes any sense. Like, what are you going to do? You can kick everybody's ass? Right. OK. You sure? I know a lot of dudes who, if they were there and you tried to do that, you'd get smashed. Right. Like, there's scary people in this world. Holding weapons on a plane. I would assume if you're ready to die like that, you have a very strange kind of conviction too. If you know you're ready to die and you know how to fight like, whoosh, Jesus. I don't mean who knows. But it's like just the idea that you would have to think about it. That's what's really terrifying. What do you mean? The idea that you would have to think like, what do I do if something is someone does hijack them? Don't we all think that? Yeah. Every every situation now there's that. What we do do. What happens? I mean, so you hear people run and they survive and then people run and get shot down and they go the wrong way. Any time a tragedy like that happens, like what the fuck? Horrific random set of sequences and you're in the wrong spot. And you do the right heroic? How about how many people must do the heroic thing and then they die anyway and you never know about it? Oh, for sure. I wonder what Uncle Steve did in that situation. Yeah. Oh. Oh, man. Oh, man.