5 years ago
Owen Benjamin is a stand up comedian and actor. Check out his podcast called “Why Didn’t They Laugh?” available on iTunes.
Kurt Metzger is a stand-up comic, writer, and host of the "Can't Get Right with Kurt Metzger" podcast. www.kurtmetzgercomedy.com
People that shouldn't be allowed to make fucking eye contact with me that I'm having discourses with and shit online. Should be allowed to find out. No, like, I mean, just because you get in your head, the way people, dude, I have people like threatening to create, whatever the shit you hear some fucking college speaker complain about. Ten times over I had coming at me from, from, I'm gonna rape and murder your niece. Well, it's explained for most people that don't know this story. I did a terrible thing where I said, hey, if you get raped, maybe go to the cops on the way to posting it on Facebook that UCB has determined guilt in a rape case. Well, I merely suggest it. Hit the brakes. Hit the brakes. No one knows what the fuck you're talking about. So let's just explain the story. Dude, this cop is so strong. It's very strong. I drink a few. He's off the charts. He's had a lot of meat too. No, I only had one and a quarter and it is fucking strong. It's crank. I'm trying to counteract it with this indica. That's awesome. I just want, I want people to understand the story. There was a guy that was accused of rape and you had decided like they shouldn't be tried in the court of public opinion on social media. Right. And what you said is why? And you said it in a humorous way. First of all, not so much my friend, not somebody now, not even defending him. I'm defending anybody. Like, how is this fucking cool that this is going to be tried on fucking Facebook? Someone's sending around a message that so-and-so has been found. UCB, the noted clown college has done an internal investigation and determined so-and-so is guilty of rape. So if you have any information, come in. That's on Facebook. Did they really say it that way? It was first in an online woman group, then it got leaked onto regular Facebook. But is it, but is a representative of the UCB that said that they have determined? No, UCB didn't. It was some fucking girl on her own. Oh, that's a big difference, right? But she did it under the umbrella of UCB. Did she do it under the UCB Twitter page or Facebook page rather? I have no idea. It was from Twitter or something. Well, whatever it is, I mean, she could have just been a part— I found from Mike Jay. I saw it on Mike Jay's page. It wasn't even the thing I found. The problem is if you're saying the UCB did it and they didn't, it's— No, no, they did not. They did not. They did not. But you said they— She said that. She said that. But you said that UCB determined that it was rape. I saw a post that said that from a person. It was just—but she said it. The UCB didn't say it. No, it's not their official word at all. Right. Okay, so it's just a person. Yeah, but let's be very clear about that. They never claimed that. It was a person who I think was like a rape counselor or something or somebody to deal with like this— It was like a rapey job. So something happened between performers. Something happened between performers and this one guy was being accused. And you said he—just real simple without knowing who's guilty or not. You said he shouldn't be trying to court a public opinion. Someone—he called—here's what happened. A guy that opened for me somewhere was friends with him and go, hey, can he call you? Now, first question, why call me? Right. What am I, a noted rape investigator on Facebook? I think just because I was somebody that yelled the—this is me not being aware of what's building up. I would just yell out on Facebook about stuff and I had a following. So it's almost like, oh, like, can he talk to you and then throw your weight behind? You know, I think it was like—but I'm—you know, I didn't look at it as shit at Facebook like that. I did not—I didn't understand, like, how people were looking at my Facebook. It's ridiculous. But anyway, I talked to the guy on the phone and he told me something I think was a lie. I mean, you know, obviously I can't say one or the other, but looking back, I think what he told me was a lie that people were accusing him because he didn't book them on a show, which just doesn't really make a lot of sense. That's comedy. Comedy has changed so much. Did you imagine if women were that quick to pull the trigger on a rape accident? How evil they would have to be. They'd go, oh, he won't book me? He fucking raped me? I mean, like, you know how crazy that accusation is? I can believe they would be involved in comedy, but that many at once together. It's like, let me at eight minutes. Make it ten or else we got a rape on our hands. Yeah, that's so crazy. Well, my point was, if this dude's guilty, this is worse because what you've done is handed somebody a lawsuit. You can't defame someone like that. And it's like—like, you just get sued for that. Yeah, you have to be convicted before you're allowed to say that, like, legally. I mean, it's like they're taking the campus thing of, like, where we're going to have a college campus, say, kick you out of school for that rape you committed. Dude, what you said is undeniable. That's not a punishment. It's not a time to go over each other. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's hard to realize. That's not a punishment for rape as you get kicked out of school. This is gender studies bullshit trickling down into real life, okay? So the colleges, I assume, let that go on because they don't want to be known as a school where your daughter could get raped, so they let these little groups pretend to have power and do a little tribunal, and then everybody's happy. But meanwhile, a rapist got expelled. That's their punishment. Great job. It sounds like the Catholic Church transferring people. It doesn't sound any different. So this is someone—so to me, it was just, like, a garbage ass, if this guy's dangerous, go to the fucking cops. Right. So then I'm getting all these people coming at me about, like, don't you dare tell a victim to go, I don't know you're a victim yet, though. That's the thing, like, when a victim says you're a victim, if you don't believe them, you're calling them a liar. We have to make sure you are a victim before we say one way or the other, so we're getting ahead of ourselves. But this is just basic due process shit. I guess the argument is because historically—this is like the argument coming at me from something. Historically, women are not believed, which, by the way, by who? Other women? Because what my experience is, is any woman close to me that says she got raped, I probably believe her, and every man I know. In fact, I know women that get dudes into fights over shit like that, especially if you're in, like, White Trash Town, where I grew up around. Like, women are the ones that don't believe other women. Men are the only people stupid enough to believe women most of the time. Okay? So that's already a bullshit thing, that women aren't believed. There's lynching—Rosewood, remember that shit? That was because a woman, a white woman, was just believed, and then there's a bunch of lynchings of black people. Well, I think there's got to be instances—we should be very measured about this—because there's got to be instances in which women weren't believed. Of course, but it doesn't matter. Just like, there's a full spectrum. It has nothing to do with— The idea is that you can't believe them every time. Well, the larger point is— You have to look at it as an individual case. Every case is individual, and you look at it on it because that's fair. It doesn't matter. Let's say no woman in history has ever lied about rape once. Well, you still have to have due problems in case it happens once. I'm not getting sacrificed to the state for the good of the fucking—you know what I mean? If that shit happens to me— And it does happen. It happens. It happens when you have something to lose like you're famous or in custody cases. Well, how about the UVA rape case? Yeah, and how many news stories of this going uncritically believed? When, by the way, was someone not believed in the media, and it turned out—I see a lot of people getting believed who lied. None of it matters, though, because, like I said, that has no bearing on my individual anything. Like, if I'm a victim— Well, we have clear double standards of when we'll just believe you and when we'll be super skeptical. So, Barry, Barry Crimmins, like, because he—you know, if you haven't seen that documentary, anybody listen, Call Me Lucky's really— It's a great image. So, I—because that guy's kind of heroic what he did with AOL. He basically—he was raping his four, which I mean, that's crazy what that would do to somebody, and I think he told us—talking about it on stage first or something, and he ended up—when the internet was first becoming a nationwide thing, he was—there was child pornography everywhere. Like, pedophiles would buy AOL by the hour if you were rich, and you could just freely trade child pornography. So, he had to testify before Congress or the Senate, and AOL had a lawyer there because they didn't want to change their policy, which was three strikes and you're out for child pornography. That's—they actually with a straight face, like, we have a firm three strikes and you're out policy. Isn't that crazy that that was only like 1995 or 96 or something like that, wasn't it? Yeah, it's one of the best parts of the documentary because Barry's like—what he told me is the guy says three strikes and he goes, yeah, listen, I love baseball too, but I love baseball more than anybody. But they—the senators and congressmen were tripping over themselves in a manly display of being ignorant of technology or something. Barry really is like a quotable dude, like the shade says, but they go, well, I don't know what all this internet is, I just know that pornography is bad. Like, some of them didn't know where the fuck they were. Robert Byrd is just like, the Scrooge of pornography. We're here for the Scrooge of pornography. And at one point in the doc, he was talking about how it was almost like the other lawyer against him and it was who had better stage presence. That's hilarious. Yeah, where he was just clearly a better speaker, like this really expensive lawyer was just like a shitty opener. And Barry's just such a powerful performer. And Barry got to talk. Yeah, and it was just came over and be over. He went over his time or he went over his time, Barry did. He got lit. But anyway, I wrote to him after that. I saw the document. I was like, wow, guys fucking. It made me cry, man. I was like crying from that documentary. Well, anyway, so I don't know why I admitted that. That's okay. Thanks, man. All that shit came down on me. People were going to Barry to get him to denounce me. I hardly knew him. So he called me up and you have to realize a lot of this shit because he did real work helping people, rape victims, kids were like Batman shit. And basically he fucking this shit's turf. If you're a feminist or whatever political thing, he goes, you understand this is turf to them. They don't give a shit about an actual victim. So like it's you know, you'll try to do something good to help someone. If you go to one of these groups, they grab it and they use it as their little symbol or whatever. It's never about an individual person. I talked to this woman, this woman went to the height of things coming down to me for saying go to the cops and not Facebook. And always people like no, like the system has failed. Well, I don't know that you didn't go to the system. So how do you know? Also, you're a white woman. I think it'll but does people want to call me to be fair. This one called me who wanted to. She wanted to get in touch with me. Some other creep inserted herself like some blogger chick who initially basically they baited me with these nonsense arguments. That's what I'm saying. Watch on there because there nobody's talking to you on there like having a chat or there's why I learned they're they're baiting you to get you to say something that they can they can say. I took down such and so and there's no I'm from this dumb cult. So I'm sincerely interested in being a chatty Kathy. It's a little kind and people are not sincere. They they want to make a name for themselves baiting you into doing something get you in trouble and they will fucking fuck with you a shit. You can't believe you be in trouble for saying such as go to the police and not fucking Facebook if you're raped. So so this woman called me in the thick of it. I don't know her name still. OK. Because she didn't really anything about me. They're telling her I'm a rape apologist which thank you for putting that next to my name online for all time. I have no crazies just come pop up around. It's just to put rape by your name.