5 years ago
Owen Benjamin is a stand up comedian and actor. Check out his podcast called “Why Didn’t They Laugh?” available on iTunes.
Kurt Metzger is a stand-up comic, writer, and host of the "Can't Get Right with Kurt Metzger" podcast. www.kurtmetzgercomedy.com
But he's funny, whatever. But they would go at him, fake me, oh, when Patton Oswell's wife died, somebody as me sends him a thing with his dead wife photoshopped in the Ghostbusters poster. Oh Jesus Christ. And I'm like, can you do your shitty on, because they all, my whole thing was you don't know what's funny, so don't, if I tell you, you know, there's that whole joke thief shit there. I'm like, listen, I was there and also I know comedy and I know better than you jerk off at home. So if I tell you just nothing, I know better. I'll just put it that way. Maybe that's arrogant, but I just been doing it for 20 years and you never had the balls again on stage. So I think I just know better. They're outraged. You're fighting when someone was not even here. I don't even know what you're fighting over right there. These people. You just started some joke thief fight. No one has any idea what the fuck you're saying. All right, guys, is when I defended Amy. Right. Amy and I had people like lecture and I'm like, don't listen, don't presume to tell me shit. But but they're outraged. But the same as the social jihadi's, they all think they can. The same reason I became a comic. I could do that. So they all, but at least I did it. You know, if you get on stage and do it, I'll give it to you. But these people think they can do your job. But hold on a second. In their defense, they're looking at a film that shows time after time, bits that. That Gavin made to specifically fuck her because she said I play a racist Republican. What? The little YouTube video where they took movies, fucking the show, which by the way, she doesn't write the show. It was ridiculous. And it was exactly what the fucking SJWs did to me where they don't like your they think you have an agenda. They got to destroy. So they create this fucking, you know, like a smear job. But we got a way to win it. There were bits that were exactly the same. It's very mediocre bits that you want to thought of. Dude, relax. Relax. I drank two caveman nitros and you're talking to me this way. I do. I knew this. But you're. I think I'm going to run through the wall and have a Kurt shaped imprint. I can tell. I am so. You're Jack. You gotta get some water. Caveman nitro. But you're arguing against someone who's not even here. Well, I was telling them why they are going at me. But the problem with what you're saying is they have evidence. They're looking at one bit and it's exactly the same as another bit. That's a good point. But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to say, I've got evidence and I come to a different conclusion. Right. Let's go with my conclusion because I was there. What about the process? That's not enough. That's not enough. That's not enough to convince someone. Oh, just trust me. Do you think we're in the right position? Isn't that like some authoritative sheriff type shit? Just trust me. Hey, I'm not going to them. Take the sheriff. I'm not going to them. They're coming to me. But you're saying, trust me, I'm watching this video. I'm watching these jokes. They're being repeated. You're saying just trust me. I'm talking about sketches. People claimed what they can, which is nonsense. I was in the room. I was the fucking cop of the room with that shit. That doesn't mean anything. No one watch mad TV in the room. Sorry. Stop. That doesn't mean anything because the bit still got on the air. See what I'm saying? Like you might not have been happening. It doesn't matter. That's what you have to say. That's not what you say. That's not a joke. But you can't say that these people don't have actual examples. Of the same bits over and over again. If there's parallel thinking, that's fine. But it has to be explained. That's what I said. But you didn't really. See, the whole thing about this is you're saying everyone's innocent. I'm very confused. I'm very confused. The whole thing from the top down. Well, look, I don't give a shit about it, by the way. But if they see the evidence, right, you have to be real clear and non-confrontational when you're handling something like that. But, dude, I won't. First of all, number one, the larger issue is I never should be on social media talking to any of these fucks at all explaining it. I don't owe any of you, anybody listening, if you have a question or a judgment, I don't owe you an explanation for shit. I understand that. I don't know where the fuck you got the idea that I do. So I was wrong that I even fucking had an answer at all because you have people, hey, joke thief. Really, that's the word about me that I'm a joke thief. From some know-nothing and they just want to see I'll talk back to them. Most of these animals can't believe you're speaking to them. But there might be that they think that you did steal it and you've got to explain how this was parallel thinking. There's going to be a bunch of people. Yeah, well, I did. I know, but a lot of people haven't heard it. And you're blurting it out like that. Someone's arguing you in the room. Oh, I'm just trying. You're also pro-rape. First of all, yeah, guys, here's one thing I want to make clear. I am pro-rape. Yeah, you're like a rape apologist. I'm pro-rape a rapist. I can only apologize for one thing that's rape. I feel like rapists should be raped. No, dude, yeah. I'm only bringing up why I was getting shit. I was getting shit for defending Amy from these alt-right dudes. Right, I understand. But it's also because you're confronting them. Like you're confrontational. Yeah, I was like, oh, I like being online. And also, it seemed like of no consequence to me. I'm like, I got all this other shit going on. I can let one hand sit here and answer your dumb shit. I was like cocky. I understand. I understand. But what I'm saying is from the perspective of someone who's a stand-up fan. My hand is trembling from these nitros. That's crazy. It's got some serious shit in there. What the fuck is in this? 270 milligrams of caffeine. You probably had some coffee earlier, too. Yes. See, you do Twitter like me where you think it's almost like the candy crush of words. And then before you know it, I just pissed off Uber or some shit. Listen, I'm speaking as a nitro caveman to you right now. You're right. To start a small business. What I'm saying, though, is as a person who's a fan of comedy, and I am a fan of comedy, when I see like if I was never a stand-up and I saw this all going down and I was a Kurt Metzger fan, I would want Kurt Metzger to explain to me what happened. I would want your specific words on this because you were a writer over there. So like as a fan, I would want to know, I think Kurt Metzger is a hilarious creative comedian. I want to know how this happened. Nobody said my sketches were stolen. But for you to say it defensively and to brush it off and say that you know better than they do. Oh, you know what, I'll tell you why. Because the way someone would come at me would be immediately like, why are you speaking to me this way? So you're already defensive. Well, as soon as I have somebody coming at me a certain way, like just your natural mode. Of course. Yeah, naturally. Thank you.