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Andrew Santino is a standup comedian and actor. He's the host of the "Whiskey Ginger" podcast and co-host of the "Bad Friends" podcast with Bobby Lee. Look for his new comedy special "Andrew Santino: Cheeseburger" on now streaming on Netflix. www.andrewsantino.com
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Did you see Oprah fall down? Yes, and it's honestly... She's a little old to be falling down. I loved it. Wow. She didn't get hurt. People get hurt. She's fine. She's dead. She died? Yes. All right. Ding dong. The witch is dead. She didn't. No, she did. And I was joking about her. She died from the fall? Yeah, we're fucked. No, she didn't die. No, she's fine. I just think like... She looks like she got hurt. It's nice to see billionaires fall. How about that? That's weird. It's nice to see somebody hit... No, it humanizes her. She is such a figure of perfection. Women should learn those fucking shiny bottom shoes. Them bitches are useless. Yeah, they're going to fall. They're so slippery. Those really expensive shoes that the gals like. They always have the shiny bottoms. Yeah. Here, she is walking. And I believe she's talking about balance, which is L-O-L. The irony is staggering. So flat ground... Does it mean all things are equal or at peace at all times? Oh, she bites the dust. Let's see how she recovers. She says new shoes. Oh, those rude fucks. They get it, so she hits the ground over and over again. Well, you know what? I got to say, I like how she framed with her elbow and then did a roll. She absorbed a lot of energy in a roll. Good technique, Op. Not bad. Watch this. Here we go. Frame, a little bit on the left hip. That shit's probably sore. But one thing you got to say about Oprah, she works out a lot. And she's got muscles. She went and ran a marathon recently. I don't know this to be true. I think she did a marathon in six hours, which is not the best time, but she still ran 26 fucking miles in a day. Don't you think it's nice to see people fall? It's humbling to watch someone fall? I just think that's... Four and a half hours. Did she really? Yeah. That's an hour faster than Bert Kreischer. That's about as fast as I thought. But I could do it. Really? I mean, I did a half an hour. I ran it four and a half hours. 4.29. How fast is that? Like a mile? 10.17. That's really good. That's a good clip. Wait a minute. She's doing... Better than you, bitch. No way. That's right. Imagine you and Oprah in a race. She's doing... And she dusts you. 10 minute miles? Yes. 26 of them, bitch. So that's what, six miles an hour about? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Are you scared? You scared? Let me tell you something. You feel a little nervous right now. That was in 1994, though. That was in 1994. She was four years old. Oh, no. She ran one recently, though. Okay, I'll see what her recent... I just typed in Oprah marathon time. That's very good, though, when she was 40. Which makes... She was probably on speed back then. Yeah. And steroids. Quaalude. She's hopped up. It's not everything. No, I just think it's... She had good shoes then, too. It's humbling to watch someone so beloved take a little stupid spill. It's just kind of like, yeah, that's the balance of the universe. She's perfect to everybody. It's nice to watch perfect people fall a little bit. That's fun. I understand. She's a part of the people now. Especially if she's like, new shoes. You know how this goes. It's fun, you know? Yeah. Well, it's slippery shoes, man. That's not what it was. What? Yes, it is. She's getting older. That was, I'm getting older fall. Watch it again. That was like, I'm lost my balance from, I'm just getting older. But it's so stupid shoes, man. I can't find a recent one. There you go. She didn't run one anytime soon. The story has gone on around recently, but it was about her 25 years ago when she did it. Unless I'm missing something. I swore there was one that they were referencing a year before. She ran it for a late birthday. She ran one of the marathons for like her 50-something-th birthday. It would be her 60th. She's in her 60s, right? I feel like her 60th birthday or something like that. I would never run a marathon, though. Never. You'll never catch me. Someone's scared. No, I run almost every day, but I'm never going to run a marathon. Why? Because I don't need to. That's an insane amount of distance. Don't be mad at me. Let's see how defensive he is out of nowhere. Like someone's grilling him. I don't need to. How about this? How about this? How much did it die? I mean, that's right. That's right. Good point. How about this? Cam Haines runs one a day. Yeah, Cam. Come on. It does. I know, but it's like enough. We get it. No, you don't get it. That's too much. You don't get it. It's too much. You just... His knees are going to fucking fall off his body. They're great right now. They're going to fall off. He's older than you. He looks good. Send me your knees, Cam. Send me your cartilage or your lac thereof.