ALLIGATORS ARE EVERYWHERE! | Joe Rogan and Brian Moses

So this is in Florida. You can get away with anything there. You used to be able to. They're tightening it down on Florida. Thank God. I mean, what the fuck, Florida? 2019, it took you this long? Well, Florida was the place where the pain pill mills existed, where they have the management centers, the pain management centers, right next to an OxyContin store. Dude. So you go to the doctor, you tell your doctor, my back's killing me, the doctor's like, you need pain pills. I do need pain pills. You write a piece of paper, and then you literally go to the next door over, and it was the building connected to them that sells the pain pills. They'd have it in the same spot sometimes. This is like cocaine country too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's so fucking high in Florida. Dude, Florida's crazy. It's crazy. It's got a history of high. I feel like the chaos of the 80s of all the cocaine is burned into the psyche of the landmass. And then the alligators moved in. It made it even more reptilian. It made it more reptilian. When I was a kid, I lived there. Did you really? I lived in Gainesville. Gainesville, Florida. That's North Florida, right? North? I don't know if it's North. Is it North? Sword ofish, Middleless? Sword of Metal? Okay. I mean, we were around alligators, but they were endangered back then. So they would tell you. What are they? Yeah, they thought of them as endangered. People are so silly. They're like, we have to protect these fucking monsters that are around us. We have to. And when I was there, some ladies, Poodle got snatched. I think it was a Poodle. A small dog got snatched by an alligator while I was there. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't see it happen, but I came. After it happened, people were all freaked out. They were telling you to stop feeding the marshmallows. We would feed alligators marshmallows. And they'd keep coming back. Well, the thing is, they liked the marshmallows. So you knew if you threw the marshmallows, the alligator would come up and eat it. And they got used to eating marshmallows. And then there was a sign, they said, don't have the alligators eat marshmallows because it's apparently bad for the digestive system and blah, blah, blah, blah. They can shit everywhere. Hey, mother, you can eat a whole dog with a collar on. Yeah. That's better for that. Yeah. I mean, it's not spitting out the dog's collar. It's swallowing that collar. It's going to shit out that metal buckle. You really think a marshmallow is going to stop. And so this attitude that they had that they wanted to bring back the alligator, it was a good thing because, you know, they really were on the verge of extinction. But then it became the opposite. So now alligators are everywhere. So now, like, alligators, people find them in their house. Yeah. They find them in their pool. Like, they're snatching people up. They snatch up dogs. They become rats. Yeah, like rats in New York. They're everywhere. And they're so... Did you see that one that was really recently filmed walking across a golf course? No. It is a dinosaur. Really? It's 15 feet long. I do love the gator, though. I fucking love the gator, though. It's an awesome animal. Yeah, it really is. It's an awesome animal. See if you can find the video, the video of the giant alligator. And they said, by the way, that this alligator is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 years old. Yeah. He's 80 years old. Okay. 80 years. That's an 80-year-old alligator. God. He never experienced any kind of racism or Jim Crow laws. They're just... Yeah. Walking through an eating machine. Yeah. Yeah. Good for them. But here it is. Look at this. Oh, shit. You weren't lying. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's 80 years old? That's an 80-year-old alligator. He's moving kind of fresh. They say the ones that are really big, when they get to be that, like, 15-foot length... Yeah. ...he goes, a lot of those are really old. 50, 60, 80. No arthritis. I mean, God. My friend shot one, and it was more than 80 years old. Shout out to John Dudley. Do I think your... That is a dinosaur. That is a goddamn dinosaur. Wow. That means... That is... Rewind that again, because we're both super high. I mean... That is incredible. What is he even doing? Imagine seeing that. Brian Moses. Yeah. You're in your yard. You're chilling, hanging out, on your phone, got your feet up, and you see that walking across your yard. Yeah. I got to get the fuck out of Florida. You're like, how close is that to me? What the fuck? I mean, that's... It's super dope. Look at that thing. He's got a scab there, too. How much do you think that weighs? Let's go half a ton. 500 pounds? I think 1,000. Easy. Did you see the guys fishing in the one that was chasing them? That's a 500 pound fish, Chris. I am high. He's reeling in a big ass fish, and the gator wants it, and starts chasing them on land, and these guys are like, get the fuck out of the way, you know? Oh my God. It's a 1,000 pound gator. It's not that big, but it's big. That's a lot of church shoes. It's so big. It's a lot of church shoes. These things, they live amongst us, and they eat dogs, and they eat deer, and everything else they can get their hands. They have to eat a lot of food to maintain that fucking mass. Is this it? So the guy, oh my God, he's got the fish. Somebody's always got a fish. He pulls it in, the gator's chasing him. Holy shit. Oh, fuck, man. Whoa. Look how agile he is. For 80? Dude, they move quick. They move quick. I don't know who knows how old that one is. That could be a younger one. Oh, he's stealing this dude's fish. Yeah, keep the fish, bro. Wow. He's got Rob for his fish. Yeah. He just got jacked. That does not look good. Gator, gator, gator. Oh, that's a crocodile. Yeah, I was going to say that doesn't look like an aligator. That's a crocodile. What's the difference? Crocodiles have a pointy or snout, and they're way more aggressive. Okay, so don't fuck with a croc. Alligators are better. Yeah, oh my God, they're better. If there was as many crocodiles as there are alligators in Florida, way more people would be getting jacked. Oh, so croc is okay. Whoa. Crocs will fuck everybody up. Crocs do not discriminate. They get water buffaloes, people. They don't give a fuck. They're real aggressive, too. There was this one video of they had an alligator farm, and they were raising alligators, and then they had one crocodile. And so when they came time to feeding, the one crocodile was like, bitch, down, sit the fuck down, climbing on top of these alligators. Like roosters and hens. They're like, yeah, but he was on the top of all the alligators, fucked the fuck off of here, and just took control, and was getting the food. Now, will a crocodile eat an alligator? That's a good question. They eat each other. Do they really? Which one's a caiman? Where's a caiman? That's a crocodile, but it's a very small crocodile. Caimans are small. They live in the Amazon. Have you eaten crocodile? No. Or a gator? Yeah. I had it at a place that was like a fucking TGI Fridays type joint, and it wasn't the best. It wasn't TGI Fridays, but it was like one Applebee's type place. Right, like a chain. Yeah, that serves gator. And it wasn't fresh, but apparently when you get it fresh, right off the gator, it's supposed to be really good. Delicious. I think any meat can be like that. You know what I mean? Even rat. Yeah. But the alligator thing is like, did you eat the gator? Yeah, we did. We went crazy. What a weekend. You know? I don't know.