#1994 - Theo Von

Oh yeah, I love that. You better read these all in. We're the best community here. All the way from Nashville to the C. Dio, brother! Bro, you got a standing O. What's up? Great, dude. You spent the first 30 seconds of your set of high fiving people. Come on, son. Look at this. Look at this. It was crazy. Some dude threw some semen up at me, I think. Real semen? Like in that movie, Silence of the Lambs. I don't know if it was real or not. Yeah, it makes the guy locked in the cell. Yeah, I batted it down. I respected it. Fuck. But yeah, dude, that was awesome, man. Thank you. Congrats. My pleasure. Congrats, because I remember last time I was here, you just, we went and you walked me through and you're like, this is where the light's going to go when you go on. You had everything to it. How long ago was that? That was last July. Okay. So last July, there was, that, we hadn't even raised the floors yet, right? Y'all were just talking about it. Yeah. That was before we lowered the ceiling and raised the floors. So you got in when it looked like a movie theater. Still looked like the old movie theater, right? Yeah, I think you were just talking about adjusting the floor heights and doing something like that. Yeah, dude, it was awesome. I mean, that was crazy. That was probably, that was a highlight of my, I mean, that was a highlight of my life, I think. I think so too. Because you get to be a surprise. There's not as much surprises anymore in the world, you know? It's true. So to have a moment where you're part of a surprise, I think felt really good. Yeah, that's what it looked like. Yeah. So when you were there, it was all rough and everything was just beginning. So you were there in the early days. We're here to be in there now because, I mean, I don't want to sound crazy, but I feel like that place has always been there. It's weird. Like the club has always been there? Yeah, the club. It's like it was waiting for us. Like a Stephen King book, for real. Like that, I've never been in a building that felt more like it was conscious. The place feels conscious. My daughter's into ghosts and shit. And she has this thing that she puts on, this headphone that's connected to some box, and someone will ask questions, and the box will pick up like random signals, and you're blindfolded and you listen to this. And so they do this to test places for ghosts, and she says that place is haunted. She said the club is? Yeah. Oh, I believe that I could see it being haunted probably. She's also 12. Well, I'm older than her, but I would agree with her probably. I mean, I could see there being, I will say this, it felt like there was some kind of, it felt, I can understand when you say like this feels like it should have been there over time in history. Like it's already like was just supposed to land there, you know? That's what it feels like. It really does. It was cool, man. I walked into the green. It was just crazy. There's like that big snake is like in there's like a snake in the table. Yeah. And then they had Ron White is sitting there, you know, and then Tom Segura was in there. Dave Atel was in there, Louie Katz. Crazy. Ian, I don't know Ian's last name, but it was, yeah, dude, it was awesome, man. And just to see it come to fruition, that was, I think that's the thing that was really exciting. It was like, wow, like if somebody thinks about something and they're really focused on it, that they can make something real. You can actually make something happen. Yeah. And I've never done that before. This is the first time I've ever done that. It was, it was, yeah, I think it was inspiring probably in ways I don't even realize because sometimes you get inspired and then it like just hit you later, you know? But it was awesome, man. Thank you. It was cool. My pleasure. Yeah, you did. I mean, you, yeah, you guys are making it happen. Yeah, it's crazy. It is. Yeah, but it, you know, I always kind of knew you could do something like that, but doing it, actually doing it and actually watching Take Play and doing it like relatively low stress. It was relatively low stress. Like it's, you know, so for a few issues that you have to deal with at the club, it's not, not, not a big deal. Yeah. You know? And y'all don't have food, right? Yeah, that's a big one. Oh, fuck. Yeah. All the condiments and all of that just stains everything and gets on everything. I feel like. Oh, and now you get roaches and all kinds of shit. Roaches love ketchup. I bet. Do they? Everybody loves ketchup. Yeah. I like ketchup on hot dogs. Oh, dude, I bet if you could really get it out of a roach, if you fucking tickled him hard enough, he'd tell you he liked it. I like relish. Relish is my favorite. Yeah, but we got food next door on both sides of us. Yeah, they got everything. Shitty Mexican food and shitty pizza. Yeah. Just what comics deserve too. We got some good pizza last night though. They got some good, I'm not eating it, but Atel got something from some high-end pizza place. Hoboken something, pizza something. He's the funniest man. Yeah, they had a lot of ghost stuff. Like I grew up in Louisiana, right? Yeah. And so ghosts and ghosts and stuff was a big part of the history, you know, especially in the south. You know, I think... What do you think a ghost is? A ghost? Probably just some busy body that just didn't get all their stuff done. Ooh, they were lazy when they were alive, so they hang around after life. You know what it's like? It's like those dudes who would hang around the high school after they already graduated. Yeah. Like, what are you doing, loser? Yeah, look at this ghost over here. Look at this ghost. Oh, they had a dude who would bring like, who was always dating like an underage chick, and he'd come and like hand the McDonald's over the fence at our school. Oh, God. Oh, and everybody... How old was he? Oh, everybody thought he was damn Prince Charles. Everybody thought he was like the luckiest guy in the world. But yeah, he was older. He just like was an adult and... Like a 20-year-old adult or like a 30-year-old adult? It gets exponentially creepier. Yeah, yeah. Right? Like if you just graduated and you're 18 and your girlfriend's 17, that shit is completely normal. Yeah. You know? But if you're 19 and she's 17, people start to look a little sideways. Huh? That extra 12 months makes a big difference. If you're 20 and she's 17, people will get very upset with you, even in places where it's legal, where it is legal in a few places, which is kind of weird. Yeah. And if you are 35 and she's 17, you can't be a comedian anymore. I don't know. Are you sure? I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? I mean, who knows, right? Who knows? I don't know. But it's weird like what's legal versus what's okay. Like it really depends on men, right? Because with men, like if a 17-year-old boy, if some 40-year-old lady fucks a 17-year-old boy, I'm like, all right, dude, how was it? Yeah. Is she crazy? What's going on? She's hot and he's not coerced and drugged. Who cares? But if a 40-year-old man is banging a 17-year-old girl, I get very upset. Yup. Isn't that interesting? Mm-hmm. It's a very different standard for men and women. Well, now I think a lot of women can be like, they can manipulate men too. Of course they can. They've always been able to do that. Right, but that never really kind of gets brought into context. Like a lot of older teacher women, they can manipulate a young fellow. Oh, they're getting busted all the time. They're always getting busted. But they get this. They get, don't do that again. Hey, stop blowing kids. That's what they get. They get a little slap on the wrist. They don't go to jail. They go to jail for blowing kids? No. You think they don't? No, I think they have like a little fucking trial and everything and they go, hey, get out of here. Yeah. Just get, just go. Crazy dick sucker. Yeah, we're going to get you an Uber. You need to go home. Unless she's trying to get the 17 year old to impregnate her. Then you need to go to jail, you freaky bitch. Yeah I think I'll come. You're going into some 17 year old's life. With a kid, yeah. Well, not just a kid. A kid with you. You know, he doesn't know what's going on. He's just trying to bust a nut. Then all of a sudden he has the responsibility of raising a child and you're making him get a job and he's going to fucking pay bills and ugh. What about his future? He's going to fail science, I know that. Why? Just because he's not going to be able to do it all. He's not going to be able to have the job and get to school and do it all and take care of the kid. I don't think a child, you know. Well, good news is it takes nine months for the kid to come out. So you have nine months of prep time where you get your shit together. Do a lot of men you think use that time to really grow up when that's that, you think God, that's why God made it that long of a time period? I do not think God had men in mind when he was doing that. No. There is a God, I think. They just wanted to make sure that the baby's a complicated organism rather. Very complicated. More complicated than any other child of any other animal that's ever been born. Human babies are the weirdest. Really? Yeah, that's why they come out so vulnerable. Every other animal comes out and they can move around. For the most part, although I did see a deer just a couple of days ago on my street, I was going for a walk and the mama deer bounced off a little and I saw this little tiny baby deer squatted down and laid down the grass because that's what they do when they're really, really young because they can't run away from anything. So their best strategy is to kind of blend in and hide. That's why they have those white dots all over their body. The white dots, like say if they're in grass, the white dots obscure their shape. So predators might not see it. And I think there's something about their smell. Google that. We finally have internet again. Google what is the smell of newborn fawns. Because I think there's like some strategy that nature has with their smell. Yeah, the baby deer has no scent. So predators that may depend on their sense of smell have difficulty finding the young deer. The mother, always close at hand, tends to circle back towards where her baby lies to get the attention of the predator. Yeah, that's what they did with us. So they're like that deer. They're like that. Oh, it's false. What is it's false? Oh, this one's, where the fuck is the first one from? The Henderson State University. What a shit fucking university. No, go to the top. Is that where it's from? That's it. What a fucking, hey, I got my fucking degree from Henderson, Dan Henderson. He's his principal. I asked him what baby deer smell like. He goes, what are you, a fucking douchebag smelling deers? This is false. Oh, fucking pop up for a fucking outdoor tactical backpack. This is false. The unique scent is how their mothers identify them. In fact, they urinate on their tarsal glands daily, even when just a few days old. They're freaks, man. They're pissing on themselves, going crazy. Elk piss on themselves when they're horny. Really? Yeah, the dick is hard and the dick flops up and down when they scream. They're, they're dick flops and they start pissing all over themselves. They piss all over themselves. Look at this guy. I've never been that horny. Look at this guy. I've never been that horny. Fuck. And he's a young fella. That's not a big elk, even though they're big, because they're all big, but that is like a smaller elk. That's like a 300 inch elk. If I had to guess, Cam Haines might correct me. Look at this dick though. He's got a dick face up. Yeah, fucking. He's scratching on the ground and he's trying to get his scent everywhere. He's got that limb on him, huh? Mm-hmm. Look, he's got his dicks flopping around. See, he's pissing all over himself. Then he's laying around. He's like, oh, they want to fuck so bad. That's Joe's juice right there. That thing is serving, huh? You know what's crazy about them? They're only horny like that for like a month. Yeah, thank God, dude. They would ruin a schoolyard. I mean, I think. Oh, they do ruin a schoolyard. If they ruin a schoolyard. If they're horny and people get stupid, oh, take a selfie. They get fucking speared like a 700 pound super athlete. I would hate having that much wiener, I feel like. Really? You don't know until you have it. You just have to find the right gals. No, I don't think so. You think so? I think so. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't show me this. Don't show me this. I think this one was okay. This actually wasn't the one I was looking for. Oh, you crazy bitch. Get the fuck away from that thing. It just happened to have Christ. It just happened to have Christ. The bison kind of attacked, but it didn't keep attacking. Why are people so goddamn stupid for the gram? You know how many people have died taking selfies? I saw this video the other day on Instagram of this lady who died taking a selfie on the side of a cliff. Can you imagine too, because you know what's going on. There's a moment where you realize, oh, I'm taking a selfie and I'm going to die. No, I don't think they realize it until it's too late. She was posing for a picture here and the bison sort of just said, get the fuck away from me. Yeah, he just gave her a little of that. Get the fuck out. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. Look at her. She's so uncoordinated. Yeah, she was too. Well, there's a stupid backpack filled with fucking capri suns. It's falling down. Don't fucking potato chips in her backpack and shit. Oh, dude, I saw a monkey at a young black woman fight over a bag of chips. There's a bunch of those. You can look up, steal your shit. Cambodia. Yeah, they don't care. You'll steal your shit. They will run up on your table and steal your food right off your plate. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. Give me that sandwich. They just run off with it. They don't care. They don't care. Did you hear about that? Yeah, where the monkeys started jacking puppies. In India, a dog killed a monkey, so these monkeys went on a rampage and started chucking puppies off roofs. They would carry puppies to the top of roofs and go, right, fucking chuck them off the roofs. Like a Maltese. Monkeys blamed for hundreds of puppy deaths captured in India, so they'd bring them up to the top of a fucking building and throw them. Monkeys claim animals were carrying out revenge killings after dogs killed an infant monkey. Speaking of which, have you seen what's going on with orcas? So a female orca, the matriarch, the head of this female orca pack, the head of this orca pack. At least the orcas, what are you talking about? Killer whales. Oh, damn. All right. That's an orca. So they started sinking boats, and they're teaching each other how to sink boats. Apparently, this boat fucked up one of these orca. Because sometimes what happens is something will go wrong and a propeller will hit. They've happened all the time with sharks. It's happened with whales. Propellers will fuck up a dolphin or a orca. Oh, yeah. My friend Dave got pushed off a boat, and he got hit by it. We went over him. He got pushed off the front. Oh, jeez. And it fucking hit him. Where did it hit him? I'm not sure. He wasn't that great to start off with, but he didn't help him. But I don't think it harmed him much. Some people get whacked and it helps. You know, that Kinison and Roseanne are my two favorite examples. They both get hit by cars. Wildest people I know. Well, I don't know Kinison, but I know Roseanne real well. She got hit by a fucking car when she was 15. Bad. She was in a mental institution for nine months afterwards. That's wild. She was a straight A student. She couldn't count afterwards. She couldn't do math. Couldn't do anything. That's unreal. The lady, she was driving towards the sun and the lady couldn't see. And Roseanne walked right into the street when she was 15 and got fucking clipped by a car from back then. You know, those big old fucking sleds. Oh, this thing is meant to... Capriets or something like that. Some giant fucking... Those LTDs or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some big ass stupid fucking car just cracked her. So this is an Orca attack in Portugal. So they started doing this. They say the bow suddenly... something hit us. So this is from 2021. But what I'm talking about is very recently. This was in the article that was explaining it. This is just an example of it, like the content. So it's happening quite a bit off the Iberian coast. The Iberian Orcas has taught at least nine other whales to attack and destroy rudders. Wow. So it's like a Middle Eastern thing? I just think it's a thing with a particular area where the Orcas in that particular area have had problems with people. I see. And so they've decided to let them know who the fuck is the boss. Take action. Yeah, they're fucking on people's boats. It's hard to tell what's happening in the video, but they explain. Bro, I'd bring fish. I'd be like, I'm not that dude. I'm your friend. Yeah. Here's a mackerel. Here's a can of tuna. I would bring them. Yeah, but they might be a little upset about the can. I'd put it on a plate. I'd plate it for them. I don't think they like plates either. Oh, that's a good point, huh? An actual full mackerel is the way to go. You know, a tuna is just for us. Like tuna fish in a can. Yeah. I'm not sure that that one fish we decided to just fucking can up all the time, like turn into sandwiches, everything. Yeah. Like tuna salad, tuna this, tuna that. It's all tuna. Yeah, tuna really got the, it's gotten the brunt of it, huh? Oh my God. I bet other fish are like, oh, thank God we're not tuna. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're like the most canned fish ever. Yeah. Right? Like what gets canned, they can some salmon. Yeah, but canned salmon, I think is a little pricier too. Much more. There's a really good company. I don't care what the company's called, but they do wild caught. They all do line caught salmon. So you get wild salmon, not race, and then they can it. Mm. So it's real good for you. My sister used to have a bass that was in their house and it was like, it couldn't even turn around in the tank. Oh, that's fucked up. I don't think it minded. I bet it did. I don't know. Of course it did. It lived there for a long time. That's what they say to guys in solitary. I don't know if you mind. Oh, yeah, sure. It's by himself in there. Especially if it's a bass, you can't talk to him. You know, he's probably like, get me the fuck out of here. I want to be on a lake. I want to be eating frogs. You can't. He's just watching cops out of one eye with my sister. He's wedging 90 day fiance. What the fuck is wrong with people? Keep me in this goddamn bowl. I'm a bass. Stupid fuck. I just have piranhas. Yeah, of course you did, man. Who doesn't think you did? I had this one house that I lived in. When I was living by myself, there was like an indoor courtyard to this house. And I literally actually consulted construction people. I was going to create like a miniature Jurassic Park in this courtyard. I was going to seal it off and put crocodile monitors in and have like a little hatch where I can release a rabbit. And watch them kill it? And watch them kill it. Yeah. But then I was like, I'm going to kill it. I'm going to kill it. I'm going to kill it. I'm going to kill it. I'm going to kill it. But then I had like a come to Jesus moment. Like what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. Why do you want to do that? Well, I think it would be, I would like to have a small something like that maybe in the home, you know? I did like to have in the piranhas. And was that where you, and were you, was it like a goal of yours, do you think? Or were you just like, okay, this is my first place. I want to design it how I want. Or were you just, because that's a big thing to think about. It was I first, first getting money. Yeah. I got one money. I got a nice car. I'm like, whoa, got a nice car now. And then I was like, what other shit can I have? I didn't have any responsibilities back then. I was 27. Free. Yeah. Free as a bird. And I just was buying stupid shit, you know, at three pit bulls. Dang, bro. That's sick, man. They were great dogs though. Yeah. They're the best dogs, man. Well, I don't say that. My dog is the best dog. The golden retriever. They're the best pet ever. They're just so full of love. But there's something about pit bulls, man. They're just so loyal. They love you so much. Really? You think more than a different type of dog? I don't know, man. I don't know. I wonder if we could tell, I wish we could tell how much dogs love us or not, you know. My dog is like so domesticated. He's so sweet and he's not like remotely threatening to anybody. Anybody comes over the house. You're my best friend. If you come over to my house tonight, he'd be like, Theo! He'd be like so happy. He'd be whining and running around you in circles and stuff. He just loves everybody. But pit bulls are like, they just have so much more tenacity. They're so angry. They're just so full of fucking just wrong. And they just want to play and just want to kiss you. And they're just like, they're so full of life. Yeah, they'll fucking hug you till you're dead, too. When I would come home from work, my dogs would literally just jump on me. Just jump on me. I would lay on the ground. They would just swarm me and kiss me. Yeah, they almost have ground game a little bit, huh? They got a little ground game. I used to teach them. I'd get side control on them. I'd teach them how to hit the skates. I'd be like, bro, you got to put your paw here. You got to create space. I get a bit of rear naked choke. I'll shrimp. I'd take his back. He loved it. Dude, my friend when I was working, when I was in the busboy industry a long time ago, you know, and the first gay I ever met, the first gay dude I ever met, this dude Billy Conforto. How old were you? I was probably 14, right? That was the first gay you ever met. Yeah. That ever met straight on. Was he 14, too? No, no. He was probably 30. And he was like the toughest gay dude so he could fight and he was gay. Nobody had ever seen it. That's scary for a homophobe. Oh, totally. Don't fuck you up and suck your dick. That's the biggest fear. Or make you suck his. That's the crazy part. With no teeth. He punches all your teeth out. Oh, that's got to be crazy. So that changed the game for a lot of homophobes because of like, who's this queer, you know? And then you're like, oh, if that dude knocks me out and then makes love to me, it's going to be an 0 for 2 tonight. That's more than two points. That's like a 10-8 round. But Billy had pit bulls and he's so weed and everything and we'd get so high and then I would get so scared of the dogs, man, that I had to go outside a lot of times. Because I couldn't. He was like more, he'd be a lot more comfortable around him and stuff, but I would get high and then I would just get scared around the dogs. Well, it's the dog that can kill you. That's what's crazy. It's like they're real sweet and everything and if you get a good one, you train them right and raise them right. They're so loyal and they're so affectionate, but the power that they have is so wild. Yeah, I mean, Billy would put on like an Adidas tracksuit and make them attack things in his yard and shit. So he was like- So he was training them to be like that. He was, but he also loved them, but he also was from a tough area. So there was a value in having the dogs be tough. Yeah, there's a lot of people that have that, right? They have dogs that are just protection around their house all the time. If you live in a rough area, there's no better thing than dogs. They let you know when people are there, everyone's scared of them. It's not, you know, they'd rather break into a house that doesn't have dogs. Oh, a lot of people, if they didn't have a dad, they would have a dog, you know? I guess, yeah. Yeah, if you're young, yeah, I have a few dogs. The wife would get a dog a lot of times if they didn't have a husband, I remember. But there was a lot of dangerous dogs in my neighborhood growing up. The problem is when they get loose. Oh, yeah, when you have dangerous dogs, you don't do a good job of containing them. I was always worried about my dog getting out. My dog Frank Sinatra, he was a pit bull that was bred for hog hunting in Hawaii. They breed them different. And they breed them, they actually have longer ears. It's really interesting. They're almost like Labrador ears because the whole idea is that they're picking up scent. You know, dogs pick up scent with their ears. That's why bloodhounds have those crazy long ears. Really? As they're running, it's like, you know how you fart and you like waft up the smell? Like, whoo, what is that? Jesus Christ. Well, dogs are doing that with their ears as they're running. They're wafting up these scents. So they could pick up little minuscule particles of scents as they're wafting up. And my pit bull had longer ears. He had ears almost like a Labrador, but he was a pure pit bull, but big fucking head, just jackpotty. And dogs that were loose would come to the fence and fuck with him. And he would go crazy. He just couldn't get to them and they would be fucking with him. And one dog, pissed on his fence, like just lifted his leg off a Labrador, came by, pissed on his fence. And so he started slamming his head into the metal bars, his wrought iron metal bars. And he slams his head into the bar. And he's like mostly head, right? Pit bulls are like 50% head. And he's just like fucking... He gets his fucking head through. And I hear all this noise and I'm alone in the house. And then I hear this noise and I look out the window and I see Frank with his head wedged between the bars and I see this dog right outside the gate that was pissing. And I was like, oh my God, he's going to get out. And so I run up to the fence and I get to him right when his ass pops through the... He bent the bars and he got out. And so it's me running down the street in my socks chasing this dog. Fucking Andy Dufresne, baby. He plowed this dog right into a pile of trash cans, right in my neighbor's trash cans. And I got a hold of his collar right before it got ugly. I'm like, oh, the fucker. So then I had to have another bar welded all around the perimeter of my fence to keep him from separating the bars. So this Israeli dude came over here and he was the welder guy and the fence guy. And he's like, what happened to your fence? And I said, the dog did it. He goes, this fucking fence. This dog bent this fucking fence with his head? I go, yeah, the dog peed out there. Bro. I go, yeah, that's a crazy dog. It's a different kind of dog. Oh, that's Mike Perry, dude. That's a different kind of dog. Different kind of dog. They don't care about pain. Pain doesn't mean a fucking thing to them. They just want to get you. You want to get out. This dog was like... I don't think the dog was even... I think the dog was being friendly. He was like, whoa, you won't smell my pee. He's a Labrador. He's just like, I'll piss over here. He's not even a frat. He's like, oh, I'm going to see a guy. Probably didn't even know what a pitbull was. This dog's a lot louder than me. What's going on over here? Oh, God. That dog's wearing a... That dog has a chain. I had this one neighbor that had a dog that he never trained. I mean, at all. It was basically a wild dog that he fed. It was a boxer. And this dog wouldn't listen to anybody. When they leave him in the house, if they left the screen, so they left the door open the screen, the dog would just fly through the screen, just burst through the screen and go out. And then he would come home when he was ready. He couldn't all. He just had his own plan or whatever. They were just idiots. They were really frustrated. Oh, look at this dog. Is that a pitbull, too? Yeah. Look at him. That's what he did. That's what my dog did. He bent the bars, man. Yeah, they're a different kind of animal. God. You got to really make sure that your perimeter is secure with a dog like that. But this dog was not a dangerous dog. It was just a little boxer. I think that has got so nerve. I think just like I would be so nervous around them. Yeah. But you should be if they're not trained well. And we didn't grow up around any dogs. Except for dogs that were in our neighborhood, and they were more violent animals. We didn't have any dogs in our home or any experience around dogs. I remember the first time I ever even met an indoor dog. I didn't know a dog could even be indoors. I was at my buddy Scott's house, and they had a golden retriever. And this bitch came around the corner, dude, and I was like, who in the fuck is that? It was like the most beautiful thing. It was just like... Fluffy and gorgeous. Oh, beautiful. Fucking long blonde hair. They're gorgeous dogs. It was like Suzanne Somers, who just come in. And I was like, damn, that thing is fucking fine. Suzanne Somers. I had just never seen a dog look like they had gotten a good night's sleep. Remember Suzanne Somers with the Thighmaster? Yeah. All she had was this spring that just tightened up your pussy muscle, because that's what you're doing. Like, there's a lot of... Like, it's not squatting for your butt. It's not lunges. You're just tightening up them pussy muscles. Oh, dude. Squeeze that dick. Squeeze that dick. Squeeze that dick. That thing's gonna gleek by the time you get done with it, dude. See if you can find the ad for the Thighmaster. A lot of ladies bought that, too, because they wanted to look like Suzanne Somers. Look, it's just a spring. She's still looking good. She's like a thousand years old. Oh, yeah. She still looks really good in my head. One of the biggest blunders in all of television, though. Her and Three's Company? Three's Company, too. That was a great show. What happened to it? Well, it was crazy negotiations. She wanted more money. She was demanding more money, because she had become a giant star. And so they basically relegated her to... She wasn't even on the show anymore. Like, there was one episode where she made a phone call, and she called them. Like, she was on vacation. That was her in the episode. Her in some totally different location, calling them on the phone. And then they eventually replaced her. Yeah, I remember they got a new woman. I think it was like... She got an aggressive agent. It might have been a husband, one of those deals. And I was like, I got this. I'm gonna fucking... You deserve more money. It's just like what happened with Call Her Daddy. That's a similar situation. You know the Call Her Daddy podcast? Oh, yeah, yeah. Alex... What's her name? Colin... No. Alex Cooper, yeah. Her name was Stephanie. She had a co-host. Right. And the co-host had a boyfriend who was an agent. Something Franklin. Sophia Franklin? Is that it? You got it. And then Portnoy told us the whole story. Oh, he did? Yeah, it was like the dude thought that like, she's gonna be this... She's a fucking star. You need to pay her more. And like, you know, they had a deal. The deal's a deal. She wanted more, and then there was negotiations and... Yeah, her husband. So her husband, former television producer Alan Hamill, went to negotiate for asking for $150,000 a week, which was the average that men were earning on television at the time. Okay, it's not television. That's like saying, well, brain surgeons make this, and I'm a plumber, so I deserve it. And on par with what her co-star Ritter was making, John Ritter, she said she didn't know at the time that Ritter was making more since the three of them had a favored nation's clause. What does that mean again? Favored nations, I think, is like chair... What is it? It's in... I thought that means you all make the same amount. Yeah. Is that what it means? No, I think it's a... It's a... That's fine. Inuit thing, isn't it? No, no, no, no. That's First Nation. First Nation. MFN provision is a term included in a contract for products or services that prevents the seller from selling its products or services to the buyer's competitors for a lower price or on better terms. No. I thought this bitch was a Choctaw, dude. I didn't know what they were talking about. Favored nations contract. I want what she's getting. Favored nations. You know, agents will ruin a lot of stuff. Oh, God, yeah. It's unfortunate, huh? Yeah, omnipresent and entertainment contracts certainly gets the poster exposed to it. Favored nations clauses are relatively simple to describe. They're a contractual commitment that no other relevant party will receive better or more advantageous terms from the party making the commitment. That makes sense. So if you and I were doing a show, we would have a favored nations deal where we would both make exactly the same amount of money, which is fair. So I care. She probably didn't know that he was getting paid because John Ritter was a giant star at the time. Yeah. And that is... Oh, yeah, John Ritter. Yeah, John Ritter. He was incredible. He did an episode of News Radio. Did he really? Yeah, yeah. Cool, man. So that was them back in the day, man. It was a great fucking show. He was so talented. The fucking... Some guy ruined it. Didn't he do noises off that movie, too? What was that? Noises off? I don't know what that is. Is that a deaf movie? I don't know. Dude, I'll tell you this. One time I was walking down the street in New York and they had a deaf group or whatever, like a gaggle or whatever. I don't know what it's called, but they got together and they were outside of a bar talking and I'm walking up and I'm like, I thought maybe like the world would like shut off or something I couldn't hear because I'm seeing all these people interacting, but nobody was... There was no sound. And I get close and... Here it is. Noises off. Never seen this. I don't even... What is noises off? I do recognize that scene with Christopher Reeves. I thought John Ritter was in there. You know, he is. He is. He is. He is. He is. They're doing a theatrical play, but it's a movie. Yeah, it's a movie. Oh. It's like one shot. It never ends or something. Oh, interesting. Okay. But... Hmm. Is it good? Yeah. Something to check out? It's an old movie out. He was a real sweet guy. He was real... Everybody loved him. He was on the set of news radio for a week and just a super nice guy. Like sometimes you meet people and you hope they're going to be nice because they're nice on TV, you know, but they're not. Yeah. And it's really frustrating. It's weird. Like they're creepy to you or they're shitty to you because you're an actor and you're like, oh, wow, you're kind of a cunt. You're fake. You're faking it for television, but in real life you're like this weird, snipey sort of shitty fucking insulting person. Yeah. I met a few of those too. Yeah? Yeah. It's very frustrating because you're like, God, I thought you were nice. I saw you on TV. You're nice. Just trying to say hi and you're a fucking cunt to me. Yeah. Yeah. We were supposed to... Michael Landon was supposed to come to our town. Aquaman. No, and it wasn't Aquaman. The man from Atlantis. Was he? Yeah. I didn't see that. Was he on Little House in the Prairie? I think he was on the man from Atlantis too, wasn't he? Good boy. I remember... Everybody was swim like the man from Atlantis when I was a kid. Really? Swimming like this? Because he swam almost like a dolphin. He didn't swim like a person. Well, dude, you have to think the first people... Wasn't him? No. Who was it? Who was the man from Atlantis? Who was the main actor? Well, Patrick Duffy. Patrick Duffy. That's right. I confuse those two. Well, Joe, you have to think probably the first people... Oh, wow. That dude. You never saw this? Yeah, that guy's got a hard drive. Who is that? He's to be investigated. Dude, yeah. Yeah, that was the man from Atlantis. Oh, really? Yeah, it was like a big show. Bro, this... 1977 and 1978. Jesus Christ, it only went one year? Yeah, it was a big show. It was huge. Yeah, Joe, I think you just liked this show for some reason. He would swim real funny, man. See if you can find a man from Atlantis swimming. Because he would swim in this weird way. And so when I was a kid, me and my friends, when we would go swimming, we would fucking copy the man from Atlantis. He had a very... I still swim like that to this day sometimes when I'm swimming in the pool like that. See how he swims? What? Nobody swims like that. Yeah, he swim like a fish, man. Watch. Bro. But look how fast he swims. Nobody can fuck with him. He swim like a dolphin. That's impossible. This is stupid. I think he jumped up. Did he grab a fish? Oh, this is a horrible show. Yeah, he gets horrible. He jumped up better than the dolphin did. Totally made sense. This is all... Bro, he's touching her tip. What's going on there? Oh, yeah. He had web fingers. Oh, he did? Yeah, he had web fingers. Oh, I'd hate that. Did he talk? Good if you were swimming. Yeah, he talked. Yeah, but trying to get a mitten on would just fucking... That would suck. God, it would be crazy. Mitten would be easy. Glove would be the real problem. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, mitten would be great. Mittens are really the move, man. Unless you... I mean, take your fucking glove off. You need to use your fingers. Like, how good are your fingers working when you have a glove on? Very bad. Yeah. But mittens, your shit stays warm. Ooh, all them little fingers, nusseling up against each other, keeping each other warm. I'll even pull the... I'll open the end and be like, y'all have fun, little boys. Yeah, because they're having a blast. They're having a good time in there. It's a little warm party. Dude, that's how... Sometimes I think, like, I would hate to have, like, one of those long wieners. Like, what were we looking at? The elk? Yeah. Because you've gone back to that. Well, you have to think, though, while I was trying to figure out what a conversation were we were talking about. But think how much wiener isn't in the recipient. Right. There's a certain amount of dick that is a problem. Like if you have a 12-inch dick, you're an idiot. How many people can enjoy that 12-inch dick? How many girls... Probably more guys can take it. You probably might have to go gay. Because guys can take some preposterous dicks. Yeah, that's a duck dick. Ducks have the craziest dicks. What? Ducks have dicks that are as long as their body. Oh my god. That is corkscrew-y. Well, ducks are rapists, by the way. And the female duck does not want that. So the female duck's vagina is not like a straight shot. It's like a fucking labyrinth. You've got to find your way through the passage. And it's got spikes on it. See the little spikes all over the duck dick? Yeah. Duck... Ducks are horrible. When they get a female duck, they rape them. They bite them and then they just fucking... And so the female duck can allow the male duck in or not in. She can stop the process of... That's why they have these corkscrew dicks. Like nature has invented... Oh, they make it through. Yeah, this fucking... Like when you're trying to get your hand into a vending machine? Look at the duck vagina and look at the duck dick. Even the duck vagina is all curly and twisty. It's not a straight shot. So for the female to let the male in, she has to want to breed. It seems like neither one of them wants to have sex with the other one. They definitely do, but the way they do it is awful. Like I've seen it at like a pond. You just go, Jesus, should I step in here? Yeah. Should I stop there? Do you see that guy? Guy got arrested because he helped a bison, a baby bison, and they wound up euthanizing it. The mother wouldn't accept it, I guess. There was a baby bison at Yellowstone and it was having a hard time crossing something. And so the guy got out and helped it. I didn't see it. Yeah, that's it right there. Oh, look at that pervert. Look at him. He's a nice guy. He was just trying to help the baby bison. So because it was touched, I guess the female just didn't want it anymore. Because it had the scent of the guy, which is fucking weird. That says the herd rejected it. The herd rejected it. What scent? Like Winstons? Well, it smelled humans, yeah. He's got fucking cheeseburgers smelling his fingers and shit. For sure. Look at him. Winstons. Camels. No filters. He's probably good. Yeah, what did he smell like? Fucking ABBA albums and fucking Paul Malls? Yeah, exactly. What's on his fingers? But no, I think I would hate that, man. If you had a long wiener, right? Right. Think of how much wiener is... Not in there. Yeah. And just like being in the cold, you know? You dig with your cold? Well, I just think, like, you ever been in like a sleeping bag or whatever and your feet are hanging out the bottom? Right. Your dick would be out in cold. Yeah, it's like... The base of your dick would be so lonely. The base of your dick would get no attention. It would be like... Yeah. Plus it would probably be annoying for a girl. I like dick. What is this stupid fucking giant dick that hurts? Yeah, this never-ending dick. It's like watching a long movie, I bet. You know, like, ugh. You ever watch a porno where a girl is sucking a guy's dick and it's just ridiculous? It's just like sucking this microphone. It's too big. Yeah, it's crazy. That poor guy. The poor girl and poor guy. They both be frustrated. Yeah, it's just like watching something. I don't know. A lot of it sometimes for me seems like... Man with world's biggest penis stuns host with explicit pic. Philip and Josie react to the world's biggest penis. 13 and a half inches. Whoa. His name is Jonah Fallon, New York actor. Wow. Wow. Let me see this dude. I don't want that. I just... That's the guy? Oh my God. That's Jonah? Yeah. See, that's the kind of dick that you have. Ooh, look at that wand on him, homie. That's a hog. That's just a hog. My God, boy. Dang, dude. Imagine getting directions from that guy. So he's showing it to them? Scroll down? So there he shows it to them. Fire. That's his hog. Look at her. Now you never have to compare it to these objects. He just showed him his cock. I think he's saying it's about as big as that thing. Yeah, but that makes sense. 13 and a half inches. But who wants that? I just feel like if you had that much, I would just hate it. And say if you're walking to the restroom or something, if you have a cat, that cat's going to attack that bitch every time. Probably if you're naked. Not a... You're not a chance. It's a dangly little cat toy. Dude. You have to basically hold your dick up like this when you walk over to the bathroom. Walk around and... Oh, that's like guys with inflated balls. 132 pounds scrotum. Yeah, that's just a disease though, right? Yeah, but same problem that he's explaining. But it's a much worse problem because it's a cancerous sack. What is that? It's like my 300 pound inmate or whatever. What makes their balls grow up that big? What do they do about those, by the way? Because more than one dude has had his balls... Yeah, it's called scrotal lymphedema. Adema. I don't think I want to look up pictures of this. Yeah, you do. You definitely do. But let's get some smelling salts in the system first. Oh, you want to? We're going to look up giant scrotums getting operated on. Yeah. Let's fire up. Oh, Jesus. Let's fire up. Let's fire up. Let's go. All right. You first. Oh, man. I've been waiting for this. Whoo! He requested this, ladies and gentlemen. Here comes Santa Claus. Right down Santa Claus Lane. Take a sniff. Ready? Hit it. Those are dead. Is it dead? They got way too deep. I think. That could be the older one and this could be the newer one, but even still, it's only supposed to last for like a week or two after you open it. This is not good. This one don't work. Time to order some. We should always have some on the hand. Oh, got them. Got them. Got them. Thought it was going to be dead in the water. Whoo! That must be our most recent one. Yeah. So let's chuck this one. Okay. And let's order some. We'll order like five more. I mean, I had three. I think we've used them. We used all. Here we go. We'll have one more. Welcome to the danger zone. Okay, here we go. Boy. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Fuck yeah, boy. It's not fresh, but it's good enough. But it's strong. Yeah. Let me get one more. That's good. That's good. This is my high man. That works. Whoo! This guy did it to his eyes. He's good. Why'd he do it to his eyes? All right, maybe it. He's trying to, did he get rocked? No, he's trying to wake up to go play probably. He might have gotten rocked. I don't know. I'm going to bring those to the comedy club. Yeah. I'm going to take a blast before I go on stage. Whoa. Is that Takachuk? Ugh. I'm going to take a blast right before I go on stage. Dude, you know where I got to? Oh. Oh, wow. I'll wake you right the fuck up. One thing that, yeah, I think there's something about that. People have an extra wiener that makes me angry. Go back to that. Makes you angry? Like the world's not fair. Well, that's how flat-chested girls feel when other girls walk by with giant tits. Yeah. That's a big one, right? Because if you were just born with giant tits, you just hit the genetic lottery and every guy loves big tits. They all love them. They have no use for them. They just want to squeeze them. They just want to suck on them. Some of them are so big though. Yeah, you can get too big, just like a dick. And you're just like, God, get all. You could be like that Canadian teacher that teaches woodshop costs you giant rubber tits on. That shit is where woke hits its final destination. Dude, the crazy part is that guy looks like Tim Dillon if you just put a regular picture of him. Oh yeah, because he's like not really trans. It's a scam. So let's see what the operation is on this guy's saccharoonie. Go to, oh boy. That's the improvement. Look at the improvement. The improvement is what's on the right. Oh, he had nut in his legs. It's a blockage of lymph nodes, obviously. I guess your nut will back up into your legs, damn. So it goes to his legs. Oh Jesus Christ. And what do they do to drain it? Oh, look at that one. It's like necrotic. Look at the far left. Oh no. Look at that. Look at his butt. Look at his butt. Click on that. It's like his skin is dying. Oh Jesus. How long do you have to wait before you go see a doctor? I mean, for real. That seems like a little bit of putting off. Yeah, that guy's, you know, he's turning into a tortoise. It looks like that guy's got that hang green on him. That's him. He got better. Oh, he did get better. Look at him. Congratulations, sir. But imagine just bringing a bag in and people are like, what's in the bag? You're like, my nuts are. But hold on. It looks like they stuffed his nuts up into his stomach. Yeah. Look, like in the left one, he doesn't have a big belly in the right one. Maybe as soon as he can get out, he just started eating like a pig. So finally. Well, I'm sure once you can go out, you want to go enjoy yourself. You want to go to. I guess. But wouldn't you like concentrate on cleaning up your fucking health? Obviously, you got something real wrong. So what's the same here? This is how it started. Over the next nine months, every six days or so, he would experience what he felt like a sensational carpet burn in his groin, then severe cold and shaking, followed by his scrotum growing uncontrollably larger and larger. Got so bad one day that I stood in my living room and cried. He said there was a fresh breakage of the skin and stung to no one. Oh, man, he's getting fucking stretch marks on his ball sack. You ever had like where your toe like where your toe connects to your foot and it kind of will crack right there? Yeah, all the time. Imagine like that happens on your nuts. That would hurt so bad. Yeah, because your toe connects to your foot kickboxing, I would always get those. Oh, worse because you're pushing off with such extreme force with your toes and your skin gets dry and things get cracked. And I was always getting slices down there. Yeah, I hate it. I hate that. It sucked because you're walking around feet hurt. Yeah, you kind of have to walk like this. You get used to it, but in the beginning, you kind of have to just walk like this. Yeah. What else are we talking about? Dicks, big dicks, big old dicks. Yeah, because also people are starving in another country and you got this big old dick all on you. Right. And you're fat. Yeah. That guy, that actor, he's eating well with his giant hog. Do you think like 13 and a half inches? I would imagine girls like don't swipe right on you. Swipe right good or what is the one you choose? Yes. Swiping right. I'm not on the app. Swipe right. Yeah. Right. So I bet you say, by the way, I'm a 13 and a half inch dick. Girls are like, I want that. Yeah. Who wants that? I think a lot of women would want to see it. So it's almost like come back to my place, come back to my new house, come see this. Giant dick. Or yeah, like this, like the animal thing you made. Come see my Ferrari. Right. Like what was that Dan you were going to make with the animals? Yeah, like a terrarium. Yeah, yeah. Come see my terrarium. And then you just you go on the other side of the terrarium and like put your dick in like a little hole. And then what a you let a gerbil loose in there. Jesus Christ. Nothing happens, but she keeps thinking the wiener is going to get the little bit, get that gerbil, baby. Wrong website, making money. I just liked him. He's got a cameo, but he's definitely been only fans, right? Maybe he doesn't want people to see his dick. He's still an actor. You know, maybe he's like still trying to make it out in that world. That's the hardest world to make it in, man. In acting? Because they don't have to pick you. You could be amazing. And some shitty casting agent, some shitty director, they might not like you. They might you might remind them of an ex-boyfriend. They might think you're too confident or they might be playing power trip games. Yeah, there's too much. And there's an all in nepotism, too, it seems like in that industry. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of like you see so many people get opportunities where you're like, man, did that person really or was there opportunities where their family was involved? You know, it's this family involved, but in more cases, it's networking. Yeah, it's like they go. They I dated a girl was an actress when I first came here and she always was networking. So like I have to go to this party. I have to meet these people. I have to know these casting people. I have to know these. I'm like, oh, and she would go around them and be so fake. Oh, my God, I love your dress like that kind of shit. And you're like, oh, it's exhausting because it's one thing if someone's like super complimentary. Yeah. And they have nothing to gain for it. Like, dude, I love your shoes. Where'd you get those? And you know, it's pure. Yeah, it's nice. Like, oh, like your head. I like your I like your arms or whatever. Someone's complimentary of you. Look at you handsome motherfucker. Yeah, it's nice. It's it's it's complimentary for no reason. But there's something gross about when you know someone that I know this girl. This is not how she is. Right. She's kissing everybody's ass just to just appear nicer. Like, maybe they'll think about her when when a role comes up, maybe. And so that forms their opinions on things, too, because that forms their political opinions because they find out what the political opinions of the casting people and the executives, which is always left leaning. Yeah. Unless you're on Yellowstone, you know, you better, you know, you better be wearing a fucking pride flag or something like you have to like be 100 percent progressive, liberal leaning, left leaning. Yeah. So these people alter their they alter their opinions of the world based on what is going to get them closer to the honeypot. Yeah. You know. Oh, yeah. I think it's amazing that all of Hollywood has the same political beliefs. All except Yellowstone. A Taylor Sheridan guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He seems like an interesting guy. Have you met him? No, I need connected with him on text messages. He's friends with Whitney. I admire that guy. And his shows are fucking amazing. People love him. Yeah. And his movies, too. He made that what was that fucking movie, the bank robbery movie with was Jeff Bridges in it. God damn, it's good. I know the movie. You know who I want to meet. Hell or high water. Hell or high water. That's it. It's the car. You got dance. He made a car. You know, oh, shit. Really? Sicario to kind of sucked with Sicario with the Nissio del Toro. But Nissio. Oh, no. I'm thinking of something. But Nissio del Toro. I love that dude. Yeah. He seems like a cool motherfucker. Spanish people always seem cool, I think, because it's neat to say their name. But Nissio del Toro. Yeah. Yeah. He's just cool. I remember when he was in Secretariat. He was in the Johnny Depp movie about Hunter S. Thompson. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. That was the movie back then. He played the attorney. Oh, that was a great movie. We can't stop here. He played the attorney. Yeah, there he is. He got fat for that movie, too. Wow. Makes me want to do drugs. Oh, god. Makes me want to do drugs. Makes me want to do drugs. Oh, god. Makes me want to do drugs and go to Vegas. Oh. Fun fucking times. Nissio del Toro. He was also the werewolf. Did you ever see him in The Wolfman? Love it. You can see him looking in his eyes right there until he was. He was good in The Wolfman. The Wolfman was kind of a cornball movie. It was like a combination of CGI and real Rick Baker-style makeup, which is pretty cool. The Wolfman? You never saw it? No. Find the scene where Benicio del Toro transforms into the werewolf, because there's a scene when they've got him bolted down to a chair in an operating room. And these, give me some volume on this, because these dudes, they think he's insane. And once Mr. Trump has witnessed that the full moon holds no sway over him, but he remains a perfectly ordinary human being, he will have taken his first small step down the long road to mental recut. Now, we are all aware that the wolfman has suffered quite traumatic personal experiences. He witnessed his mother's self-mutilation. His young mind, unable to accept it, created a fantastical truth that his father is to blame. That his father is literally a monster. Is that Nicolas Cage? No. Your father is not a werewolf. You will not be bitten by a werewolf. You will not become a werewolf. Any more than I will sprout wings and fly out of that window. Oh, I thought he did medicine back then in a theater. Isn't that weird? I thought he did operations. Wow. The Talbot has something to say to us. No sedatives. He's got something to say to them. Stop it. Stop it. Speak up, Miss Talbot. Forgive me, but we can't hear you. You moron. Tonight I will kill all of you. Oh, kill all of you. Yes, well, as you can see, my country is... Please do something about it. This is optimized. This is optimized. Mm. Kill me. Somewhere in the deep blue. Kill me. Uh-oh. Oh, man. Oh, this is badass. It's a great scene. The movie is eh, but this scene is fucking dope. Wow. Oh, dang. Oh, look at that pervert, huh? Is that David Spade? Oh. Oh. That's crazy, man. It's a good scene. Yeah, it is really good. But you see, he was like kind of half goofy. Yeah. It was like half a werewolf, half a fucking man, some CGI. Like, this is CGI. It was good, though, I thought. It was pretty good. It looks really good for what time period was this? This was a few years ago. Oh, OK. This was like 2011, 2010. Remember Swamp Thing? Yeah, I forgot about Swamp Thing. I used to read the comic books. Really? I never really knew what the comic was. DC Comics, Swamp Thing. In our area, people were so excited because it was Louisiana, you know? People were like, fuck yeah, dude. The swamp is back. People were like, we got this. We can do it. We could do it. We're heroes now. Yeah, you'd see people's dads telling them, don't you want to be like Swamp Thing? Really? Yeah, like people were just. That was the big hero of Louisiana? I think they were fired up. There was a movie, Swamp Thing, wasn't there? I'm Googling now there's a bunch of recent stuff, but I can't tell you. Really? So if it's like, yeah, here, I've been on YouTube. That was the old movie. That was the original movie. This is four years ago, DC Universe original. Oh, I think that's animated. That was the one it looks like I think. Wes Craven. But I don't know if that's someone just type his name in to get attention. I think Wes Craven did direct the Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing was good, though. Not long ago in the unexplored regions of an unmapped swamp, the creative genius of one man collided with another's evil dream, and a monster was born. And Louisiana was back on the map. Swamp Thing. I like to dream of why I'm between a summer sheet. And Swamp Thing's just riding a truck. Yeah. I'm crazy. Did you ever interview Willie Nelson? Do you ever interview him? No, I would love to interview Willie Nelson. I don't think I interview people. I think I just talk to them. That's a good point, yes. All right, did you ever just talk to him? No, it's OK. But people have said that, like, I love your interview. And I'm always like, yeah, I mean, kind of, sort of. It's really just a conversation. Well, some people, I think, if you're curious on information from them, then you want to ask them more things, like, about that they know about that you don't know about. Oh, yeah, for sure. Like, if I'm talking to Michio Kaku, or a quantum physicist, or something like that, I ask questions. I'm essentially interviewing them. And especially, it's something that I really have no understanding of. Yeah. Yeah, but for the most part, I'm just talking to people. Yeah. Which is, like, takes a lot of pressure off, too. Because they're like, what subject you want to cover? I'm like, I don't know. Let's just talk. Yeah. Some people weirded out by that. You know, like, you and I, it's like, we've known each other so long. We don't have to talk about what we're going to talk about. We just get in here and start rolling. Yeah, it's a little easier, too. I think it gets easier, too, when you've been in here before. Yeah. It's weird when you see people for the first time. And you see them lock up, and they're nervous. And I'm always just like, I'm going to hold your hand. We're going to get through this. I'm going to get you 20 minutes in, and you're going to not even know you're here. Have you had people that really locked up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had people get real nervous, and you see them breathing funny, and they can't talk that good because they can't get breath. You know, but it's OK. I always just like, let's just calm this thing down. We're going to be all right. It's pretty normal, I think, some people trying something new. But it's just weird, the numbers. That's what weirds people out, the numbers of humans. That freaks people out. It's hard to just be yourself in front of millions of people. Yeah. But you can. And you do it, I do it, we do it. Yeah. You can just be yourself. You are the same fucking dude if you and I are going, having dinner somewhere, or if we're at a comedy club, or if we're here. Yeah. The same dude. Some people can't do that. They have to put on a persona when they're talking. They get weirded out. Yeah, I think sometimes that's interesting. Do you find that when you're doing podcasts? I find, I think sometimes I'm like, which me is kind of showing up more today? That might sound a little fucking weird. Oh, no, I know what you mean by that. But am I a little agitated today? Am I feeling goofy? Am I having kind of what's going on? Am I a little curious today? Am I a little inquisitive? Just which part of me is kind of at the surface sometimes at the moment? I had a revelation the other night that I forgot about. I was on mushrooms. And I closed my eyes. And I realized that in certain circumstances, when I'm healthy, when everything's going great, I have a very specific frequency. It's a different frequency. And this weird revelation that I had while I was high showed me this. It was almost like a lesson that I was learning. And it was like, here's you now. You're very healthy. I had an IV vitamin drip that day. I had worked out. I did the cold plunge, did the sauna. No conflicts. No problem in my personal life. No problem in my business life. Everything was beautiful. And I had this like, ooh. And then it showed me there's times where you don't have that, where you're irritable, where you're tired, where you're sick, where you're hurt. There's all these different frequencies that you have. And it made me realize you think about your health and you think about how you feel and whether or not you're present. You think it is just like, it's better to just be this way. But you don't realize that you're achieving a certain frequency. I was achieving a certain frequency at that moment. And I realized this is attainable. And this is what I should strive for. And that I could stay at this frequency. But one of the things it was telling me is don't drink. It was like right when I was there, I was like, don't drink. Because if you're drinking right now, you're going to kill this frequency. It's going to dull it. You might have less inhibitions, but it will dull this frequency. It was very interesting. It was like one of them weird mushroom moments where the mushrooms like, hey, this is probably something you should think about. Because I don't think you think about it this way. You just indulgent. You do this, you do that. You have a slice of pizza. You have a meatball sub. But what's going on with your overall energy when you do that? You really want your energy to be at the best possible state. But you don't think about it that way. Right. But yeah, you don't think about it exactly like that way. But we do think about it in ways like our attitude. We have little words we used to describe kind of like elements of it, I guess. But I wonder in the future if there will be a way that we can measure whatever that frequency is. Sometimes it feels like we're kind of primitive in the understand, in the quantifying of, like we take our temperature. Just in things that we- Blood pressure. Yeah. In little things that we use to evaluate us, I feel like we're on a plane that feels really old sometimes. There should be another plane where we start to- Is there a number for what my frequency is today? Because you kind of feel that. It's like where you operate at. And there are things you can do to keep- I keep earplugs in now for the first hour and a half of my day. And it just keeps a lot of excess noise in the dick. For the first hour and a half? Yep. Really? Keeps them out. I'm able to go through the things that I want to go through at home. What do you do? When you wake up, you just put them in? I sleep with them in. Do you? Yeah. You sleep with earplugs in. Yeah. I think I've heard everything that you can hear at night. For a while I was scared I was going to miss something or if something happened. But I think it's like, dude, they're not doing anything new at night that I wouldn't be able to just imagine is going on. Yeah. I don't think there's a new invention of nighttime activity. Yeah. So I got them in. And I'll keep them in, man. I go through my morning routine. And it's like. What is your morning routine? I pray right when I wake up. Do you have a specific prayer? Yeah. Just a serenity prayer. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference. And then sometimes I do one other prayer. And then I read these couple of pages of like that give me like help me to look at my day from afar. Like what am I going to do today? So that helps me like have a little bit more of a plan for my day. Even if it's not a strict plan, it's like at least I'm looking at my day instead of feeling like my day is just like. Happening to you. Yes. And so those little things like that help me. And then I'll do 10 minute meditation. And then I do 10 minutes where I just write just whatever is going on in my head. You do that every day? Yep. How long have you been doing that? I've been doing that probably pretty solid for I would say, maybe three months. But I've done pieces of that for probably five years. What started all that out? Going to get doing sober stuff like you get into that some of that world, you know. But I think also just like seeing how meditation gives me a little bit detached from myself. So then I'm not like just clinging everything that happens so it doesn't affect me immediately. Something can happen. And there's a little bit of space between me and whatever is happening. And that gives me a chance to look at it or manage a little bit more comfortably. Yeah. That's a problem with getting caught up in the momentum of your day. I do find myself in that spot sometimes. I don't have that specific routine as you do. But maybe it's a good idea. Yeah. For me, I need it. Some people, they can operate differently. I think for me, it helps to have a little bit of what's going on. I remember watching this Kobe Bryant interview where he was talking about the first 10 minutes of every day when he wakes up, he meditates. 10 minutes every day. So he has a clear path forward from the day. He gets his day started off with a right mindset. And that dude was all about mindset. Yeah. Mama mindset. That dude is like the embodiment of hard work and discipline and accomplishment. And that was his way of starting out every day. Yeah. I think also it gives me something. I kind of look forward to it a little bit the more I do it. I look forward to that time that I spend. But I'll leave those earplugs in, man, until I have to take them out. Really? Until something comes along. Do you live in a noisy place? I live in sometimes a place that has some noise. You live in an apartment or a house? Yeah. And I have a house in Nashville, but I have an apartment. Still my old apartment in Los Angeles. Yeah. It's a little noisy. Yeah. It gives a noise. LA's noisy. You can always hear something. You can hear somebody. How often do you go back to LA? Like four months out of the year. Do you get sad? Let me think what I get. There's things that I miss. I miss at the store. I miss seeing Coco Diaz over there. The store. Yeah, you walk up on him and his eyes light up. You know? Hey, cocksucker. That's what I love about the club that we have, that sign that says get it together, bitch. Yeah, it's funny. That's Joey. Yeah. Oh, that's who says that. Yeah. Joey used to always say that to us. He was so happy when he saw that. Oh, that's cool, dude. Oh, that's awesome. Because that was like his thing. Yeah. You were about to go on stage. He was firing you up. Like get it together, bitch. Let's go. Rock these motherfuckers. Bro, yeah. There's something about, yeah, like. Bro, he came into town and murdered. Did he? He murdered. He only wanted to do one set. He was supposed to do two shows. He's so funny, man. He's like a reluctant killer. Because he hasn't been doing that much stand up, because he's living in New Jersey. And it was a 7 o'clock show. He goes, I'll do the 10. I'll do the 10. I go, get the fuck out of here. You're here, man. I go, go up. Go up. And he went up and fucking lit those people on fire. The pop that he got, it was just like the pop that you got. But maybe even a little crazier. The pop when Joey got on stage, they were like, no way. Yeah. Because he's only been there once. Oh, it's like seeing Santa. Yeah. That's how they did with Chappelle, too, where it brought Chappelle up at the club the first time. They went fucking ape shit. They couldn't believe it. Oh, I bet. How is Dave Chappelle here? How is this real? Oh, dude, I remember watching Joey Diaz. I would find myself get it when his music would come on. Dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk. Whatever that intro music came on. Whenever that would come on, I would literally, without even doing it, I would be out of my seat. I would be so excited. He's the most watched comic by other comics. Interesting. I would imagine. If you knew that Joey was going up in the OR, you'd go and have a seat in the back. Always. Yeah, because you're going to see something, you know? Some crazy shit's going to happen. He's all fired up. He's going to say the words we're not supposed to say. He's on 500 milligrams of edibles. I had. I had. Bro, when he, one time I went over there, and it was him and Lee Syett, when he's got Lee over there. And he would just like, Lee's on like 70,000. The flying Jew. He turned Lee Syett into a fucking total edible head. Oh, dude, Lee was a fucking. He would fall asleep while he's producing the show. He's producing the show. There's a video of it, of him producing the show. He's producing Joey's show. He's like, oh. Well, here's what happened. Out cold. But at one time, I get there and I was like, hey, I think I hear a little whistling in the headphones. And Lee's like, oh, I'm trying to figure it out. So Lee's like trying to figure it out by the end. He's eating so many edibles. Lee was literally sitting there. He's like, it was him. It was him. By the end. In the beginning, it wasn't. It was some other thing. But we like. He started recreating his own. We manifested our own destiny, bro. What? You got a video of him falling asleep? Let's go. Oh, he's not sleeping, bro. I just saw that. I just saw that. He's just like, you saw the devil. I guess he's in with this. You saw the devil. He was gonna shake them off. Shake them up, shake them up, shake them up, shake them. Well, at least I am at the devil. Right there. Yeah, bro. He tortured people. Oh, dude. Dude, one time we did some LSD, right? We were children, right? And so we went to the Waffle House because it was open, you know? Like when you were on drugs and you were a kid, you basically like, that's the downside of having any place that stays open all night. It's like, people are gonna come there. They're all on drugs. No one's sober at Waffle House, right? So we get there, dude. And we're in there and my buddy starts laughing so hard. He's like, kind of convulsing a little bit, my buddy Scott. And the waiter was a black gentleman and a gay guy. We'd never seen a gay black dude, right? So anyway, he starts doing the Heimlich maneuver on my buddy, right? And he wasn't choking. He was just losing his shit because he was so fucking geeked up on LSD, right? So bro. He's doing a Heimlich and he's not even choking? He's not even fucking choking. Did you tell him he wasn't choking? I couldn't speak, I was laughing so fucking hard. It was unreal, dude. Did he figure out that your buddy wasn't choking? Bro, I think I disappeared and just woke up in the sixth grade. But man, I just, we laughed so fucking hard. These guys try to give you a Heimlich. Oh my God. It was so much fun doing drugs when you didn't know what was going to happen. Mm. It was scary, but it was exciting, you know? Jamie, did you put another one of these down? Because I threw the other one. There was a, I asked to find another one out there and apparently that has some power in it, but I don't know. It's not new, I know that. Give it a whiff. Do you have a beverage on the game that I can have? What would you like? Oh, it's not good. Throw that away to them. I'm not that hard hitter, baby. I want something that's going to fucking teach me something. That's the one. That's the one. There's coffee on the table if you want some coffee. There is something else. You want a kill clip? I just want something, yeah. You want a kill clip? Yes. Can we get a couple of kill clips? Yeah, man. Dude, it was so cool to see Ron Wyden talk to him last night. He's the best. Bro, I walk in, yeah. He's in there. There's a lot of Tom Segura's in there. He put a lid on that. I felt like it's going to have one more. One more. Oh, God. You know I'm an addict because I know I look forward to this. I look forward to it, too. Yeah. Am I an addict? I mean. A little bit? Probably. I'm a functional addict or something. Yeah. If you're an addict, dude, you redesigned it because you're doing good at it. I feel like it can be done. There you go. That's a zerit. I feel like there's certain addictions that can be managed. Yeah. You've had one of these, right? Yeah, they're great. Yeah, this is my own. Oh, yeah, you got your own. So does Israel Adesanya, right? This is Flaming Joe. Yeah, Israel Adesanya has a Kiwi one. Yeah. It's nice. I talked to this guy one time on the phone. He's a really nice guy. Oh, he's the best. John's the best. And we got a new one coming out with a compilation, a collaboration with me and Cam Ains. It's a spicy cherry called Elk Blood. Ooh, nice, boy. It's good, dude. We went through like, I had to go through like seven or eight versions to get to this. This is perfect, which I think is like the perfect flavor. This one is a pineapple, a spicy pineapple. It's like pineapple with a little bit of jalapeno in there. It's a very addictive drink. Yeah, I like having me a little something. I didn't have any caffeine all day today because I wanted to wait till I had some in here. You know? You managed that? Yep, I was like, I'm waiting till I get in there. It's gonna be exciting. Yeah. I'm gonna have it when I get in there. What's the most time you've ever spent off a caffeine? 30, I would say 30 days. I had Michael Pollan on and he was explaining how he took, I think he took like three months. Is that what he said? Something like that? Three months off a caffeine. And he said when he had it, it was like a psychedelic experience. Wow. He's like, it's so different when your body's not accustomed to caffeine than you have it. It's like, you have this insane feeling of bliss. It's like, it's really wild. Yeah. We were doing that, remember I used to do those vapes, remember? Mm-hmm. And right now. I went with those. Oh, me too. Too addictive. And I didn't like it. Yeah. And it made me tired. Like I was tired. Oh, I have a couple hits, yeah, and you start to shut down a little. Like this. Yeah. But the first hit is magic. The first hit I'd take a big puff and it'd be like, whew. Like everything just washes over you, you feel so relaxed. Yeah. It's brain cells dying. Mm. It's like, it's like, it's getting stupid or everything's gonna be okay. Because I feel like the more smart you are, the more you take into account all the possibilities and all the variables and all things can go wrong, but one hit of that vape and you're like this. Ah. Yeah. Oh yeah. But then I was always chasing that dragon. Yep. And then later on the night I noticed I'd be hitting it and nothing would happen. I'd be like, what am I doing here? Yeah, I couldn't, I think we did escobars or whatever. Oh, and then one time I went into a place and the lady's like, this is the strongest one they got. This bitch is the strongest. She's like, every hit is like smoking five cigarettes. She was like, and then she would fucking hit it and no joke, her hair would curl. Dude. Smoke's coming out of her ears. Yeah, like. This bitch like hitting five cigarettes. He fucking hit that bitch, boy. Yeah, I haven't fucked with the vapes in quite a while, but I have friends that still hit them all the time and you see like, oh, I see that. I see that little demon that's in your body. I'm about six days off right now and I'm really battling, yeah. Oh, you're battling still. Yeah, I don't wanna see somebody with one. That's the tough moment for me. Yeah, you just wanna grab it, give me a hint of that. Yeah, so last time I didn't see anybody with one, I took a couple puffs off a cigarette though. I hadn't had that in a few years, that was fun. What made you quit the vape? I didn't, it keeps me up. It keeps me just rattling, you know? Like everything you're, Lot of nicotine. You ever think your car is still going and you push it and it's off? Right. Like that. Mm, yeah, you're just up. Yeah, my thing's still going. And it was late and you're up. Oh yeah? Yeah. I'm fucking up, dude. It's also like, it can't be good for you. All that oil, that mist, and you would like, sometimes you'd feel it in your throat. Yeah. Your throat would get all dry and fucked up because it's irritated from all the oil. Like what is in there? Like what's, Google Escobars. Like what are the ingredients? Like what's the oil they use? I mean, them bitches are good though. Now if you're running across the border, if you are doing long, like if you are long distance cycling or something, I think have one on you. Propene glycol, a vegetable glycerin, natural and artificial flavors and nicotine. All right, but what is that? Is that bad for you? That's gotta be bad for you. Is the additive safe? It's a synthetic food additive that belongs to the same chemical group as alcohol. It's colorless, odorless, slightly syrupy, generally recognized as safe by the US Food and Drug Administration. Yeah. Yeah. I don't believe those people though. FDA, they're all in cahoots. FDA considers the average daily dietary intake of 23 milligrams per kilogram of body weight to be safe for persons two to 65 years of age. Maybe, but what about vaping it? Google vaping, is vaping propane? That even was from 2008, and I don't think that existed then. Oh, vaping didn't exist then? 2008, do you remember people doing it back then? I don't think so. I remember they had those little brick vapes. I used to huff gas and stuff, but that was different. See if you can Google propene glycol safe. Is propene glycol safe for, safe for vaping? Oh, I'll tell you what's not safe is doing, you get the right hand sanitizer and you do a couple of huffs on that shit. You huff hand sanitizer? Yeah, the good stuff. Scroll back up to the top. What does it say at the top? It says both propene glycol and vegetable glycerin are considered safe to use in vaping products, but some users may find one or the other preferable due to personal preference. I'm not considering this website. Pod salt? Yeah, that's why I wasn't even going for it. What is that? I have no idea. What is pod salt? Okay. I was trying to find something that seemed more legitimate. Vaping, it may, it said it lead to lung inflammation. Oh. Oh yeah. Click that. Erotation shown, eyes and throat. Well, definitely throat. It definitely irritates your throat. Did you find it irritated your throat? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. Vaping propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin may lead to lung inflammation. But the thing is it's like, how much are you doing? That's the thing with all these. Like, do you know those, what are those called? Feel free. Those little Kava and Kratum drinks, there's a lawsuit about them now. Do you know what those are? Ron White brought a bunch into the club. Those things. Not those four locos, huh? No, no, no, no, no. It's a tiny little drink, like a tonic. And it has Kava and also Kratum in it. Oh, I saw him with that last night. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, I don't know what's going on with those things, what that does, but you drink a half of one of those. You're not supposed to drink a full one. You're supposed to drink a half one. Why don't they make it in smaller dosage? So it's a single serving, because it's only that big. Yeah, because it's hard to judge. Also, I can't read without my glasses on, like that little tiny writing. I'm not going to read. This is two servings. You know, like when you get a like a Monstrated Drink or something like that. Yeah, I'm having it all. Two servings. Fuck off. Yeah, dude, if you, yeah. I'm having fucking both of them. Is it one can? Then it's one serving. Yeah. I'm not sharing this. What the fuck is wrong with you? So if you give me one of those. Well, Pervert is going to fucking share this. Google those, lit it with a buddy, dude. Yeah, what are you doing? Slurping on each other. You're going to put a little cup on top of a fucking poor buddy, sir? Why would if there was only one for the two of us? And we're both thirsty. Yeah, but still, what do you do with that? Very rarely. Without looking for a specific brand name, I'm seeing some interesting results. Maybe if you're like a tea or something. The live free thing? I just typed in Kava Kratum Drink. Yeah, but just Google live free, because this one very specific. What I'm bringing up is, there's a lawsuit, because this one dude, they were getting them at 7-Eleven in a bunch of different places. And this one dude was an alcoholic, and a drug addict, I guess. And he was clean and sober, and started drinking these things, and went off the deep end. And he was drinking 10 a day, which is crazy. That's 20 doses a day. You're not supposed to have more than two in a day. Two doses, we'd mean one bottle. That's more than you're supposed to have an entire day. Damn. And this dude was down in 10 a day. Oh my God. So he was going against any guidelines that they had. Yeah, yeah. Of course, he wasn't. Yes, that's exactly what it looks like. Bottle lawsuits. Kratum is not listed on it, but what they found, well, I guess it is here, but what they found, I guess maybe it wasn't being sold that way, it was being sold as a Kava drink that had Kratum in it, and people didn't know it had Kratum in it. Yeah, well, I've read varying accounts as to how much Kratum is in it. I don't think Kratum is necessarily dangerous, but I do know that some people abuse it, for sure. Recovering alcohol exudes wellness drink firm for getting him hooked on 10 of its feel free Kava drinks a day that left him hospitalized because they contained addictive, morphine-like substance Kratum. Wow. 10 of anything a day is a lot. 10 diet coke's is a lot. But whose fault is the guy, I mean, who's? It's his fault. Yeah, it's his fault. It's his fault. 10 a day is his fault. But the thing is, I think what he's saying is they didn't say there was Kratum in it. Oh, totally. I don't even think it says on the website that Kratum's in it. I'm pretty sure I Googled the website. Go Google the live free website and see if it even says Kratum on the website. And a lot of the Chinese, I think, are hopped up on this, right? Are they? I think so. I know a lot of addicts like it. Kratum, I believe, is popular in the Far East. Well, it's pretty popular everywhere. So let's see what it says is in there. So this is the stuff. What does it say is in there? Does it give you a list of ingredients? Classic tonic, feel free tonic. This one says Kratum's in it right there. Okay, that's the classic. And then there's another one, Kava, kolanut, lion's mane. Oh, so there's a feel free tonic. And then there's the classic tonic. So the classic tonic is the one that we got. So what does it say in there? What does it say the ingredients are? I'd rather Magic Mind, have you had that? Yeah, that's a mushroom. Yeah, that's pretty good. It's a nootropic. Lion's mane is good. Lion's mane is good for cognitive function. But when it comes to actual nootropics that help, okay, here it goes. Kava, Kratum, so the Kratum, total alcohol, alkaloid. So it's mostly Kava and a little bit of Kratum, it's 34 milligrams. I heard a joke one time, this guy, this is the worst joke I've ever heard. You wanna hear it? I would love to. This guy goes, hey, you know why you should take Kava? What? Be Kava. Wow. Pretty bad, huh? Did you keep hanging out with that dude? I just remember that. Yeah, that's a dumb one. But those drinks, those put you in a nice place. Whatever the fuck is in there. But like I knew a dude, well. What do you mean the feel free? Yeah. See, I didn't have one, man. I'm trying to think of what I had mostly. I do diet coke. Yeah, those feel free's are basically a drug. So do you recommend it, you think? Maybe I'll try one tonight. No, no, no, no. Everybody in the club is a little wary of them. Some of the guys have read the class action lawsuit, but sometimes you gotta go into those things and find out what is really going on with these. When you find out the guy was taking 10 a day, and then also you find out the guy was an addict, and you go, well, what kind of money, like how far gone? Was he a guy who disappeared for three months and came back with bloody face? Right. Like, who knows? Yeah, we had a roommate that used to eat all these breath mints, you know? And he would stack those Altoids. You'd get a big stack of them, and he would always kind of show off how many he could stack in between his teeth, you know? But he would go out and get drunk at night, and in the morning he'd be on the sofa, just like in a bloody suit. Like he'd be in a suit, but just fucking, oh dude. He looked like a reservoir dog. Some people live in alternative realities occasionally. They just like, they get fucked up, and then they go away, and then they come back, and then they have to piece together what the fuck happened to them. One shoe on, fucked up knee. What's wrong with my hand? How come I can't hear? It's like, some people just go so hard. God, dude, I'm almost, do you get jealous of those people sometimes? Sometimes I'm jealous of those people. Look at this, does Kava feel like Xanax? He's found that Kava significantly relieves anxiety, with mild to no side effects. Several studies have found that Kava extract is comparable to antidepressants and benzodiazepines. Yeah, but doesn't, that's Dave Asprey though. Doesn't Kava also cause liver problems? Google that. Does Kava negatively affect your liver? Because I think Kava has an effect, especially at high doses, that is similar to alcohol. More than 100 cases of liver toxicity related to the use of Kava have been identified. Some leading to liver transplant, and some leading to death, as people have died from Kava. People have died from ice cream too. There are many reasons for liver damage. For one, Kava depletes glutathione, a chief antioxidant within the liver. Oh, interesting. But I wonder if you like take it with glutathione. Kava bars in Austin, I just found out. Interesting. We should do a field trip, huh? Go to the Kava bars? Go Kava bar hopping? See what it is? Whatever's in that, feel free. It's like, whoa, that's a nice feeling. I'm gonna have to try a little bit tonight, I think. Yeah, I was just a little wary of it when everybody at the club got nervous, so I had to start doing a deep dive, like what's in it? What are people worried about? What's this lawsuit? What's the class action lawsuit? How do you feel when you drink it? Very relaxed. I just wanna start dancing. Yeah, I like it. I don't think it's bad. I always just judge, like how do I feel? How do I feel after? And after I feel fine. I feel fine, like there was no hangover. Like there's many times where I feel good because I had a few tequilas, and they get up in the morning like, oh, you fucking idiot. You know, a little bit of a headache, dragging my ass, and then I get in the cold plunge, and I just feel like an idiot. It's hard to get back to even. Yeah, it's hard to get back to even. Oh, dude, I used to do, sometimes I would do so much cocaine, my frickin' eyes would dry out. Ooh, look at you grinding, you thinking about it. Oh, dude, yeah. Fucking, ah. I remember I had to lick my hands and then rub it into my eyes. Whoa. So that I could even blink well. Jesus. I always get dehydrated, boy. That's deep. You go deep, huh? Oh, dude. But you're that dude. You go deep with whatever the fuck you're doing. Let's go. I like to get right on the fucking, I like to be a peeping Tom if I can. I'll watch your whole family eat dinner. I used to love that shit. On coke. Huh? On coke. On anything, boy, I fucking love to watch a family eat from the distance. The audio of you and I talking about how addictive vapes are, that has been used on so many different TikTok videos and reels. How addictive are those things? I didn't want to hear it too far, but you were just, have you ever heard of this thing called Frogging, Spell of the pH? No. No, you heard it. It's a thing, so it's like an online community. There's probably a website. People try to live in your house without you knowing about it for like an extended period of time. Well, that's a good way to die. I guarantee you that doesn't take place much in Texas. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I think that's a San Francisco game right there. I don't buy that. Dude, one time I had a babysitter and they found a guy under their bed in their house. And what a scary thing that was. Oh my God. She came up the stairs and she could see under the bed because the bedroom door was open when she walked up the stairs and she saw a guy under there. Oh Jesus, what'd they do? Called the police and he was mentally unwell. So they had to- Duh. Yeah. It's not a lot of dudes that really have their shit together. They're hiding under kids beds. That's true. He was mentally unwell. Hey, can you keep it down? I gotta be up. I gotta be at work in two hours. Mentally unwell. Let's not get hasty here. Let's not label the guy. Yeah, yeah. He was doing a little bit of frogging. Whatever, whatever. But I love how we're in a space now, Joe, where people breaking and living in people's houses is just like a new term. Well, as I'm leaning into an article about it, this makes a whole lot of sense because I've lived in a place where it's explaining. It says it happened at Ohio State. There's giant houses where 14 people are living together and you're running out all day long and someone can sneak into a room and you just think it's a friend if you saw them in the hallway, maybe. That's a little bit different. It's a slightly different thing. I'm not breaking into houses. Well, why do they name it frogging? That, I don't know. Yeah, so it's not a guy eating flies and stuff and hiding in your wall. Because they go from place to place. Sometimes it's- Oh, okay, hopping. They're trying to do it as much as they can. Victims often sense something is amiss, but easily doubt themselves and hesitate to seek help. Yeah, I don't know. Not me, bro. I'll be clearing that house, locked and loaded. I probably have a vest on. I'll probably fucking Velcro vest on and go clear that fucking house. I would just ask everybody if they live there or not. How do you not know if somebody lives with you? Because they're sneaking around. They're sleeping in closets and shit. Yeah, they're all fucked up all day. They're 20 year old kids. They're dumb as shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about a regular house, like your house. Yeah, if somebody was sleeping, I did think there was somebody in the attic for a while because I would hear things sometimes, like little settling, but I went up there and there's nothing. Probably rats. Yeah, it could have been. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what else has been going on. The other thing I saw last night, the American Gladiators documentary started on ESPN. Yeah. Have you seen any of it or anything? Well, dude, I was around when the American Gladiators was huge. So this is the guy that created it or has found it. The documentary is very interesting because this guy who is credited as the creator, I think, he's not very forthcoming and honest with everything and he won't answer the guy's questions a lot, which is kind of strange. So he made a good documentary about it and not all the Gladiators would come talk about it. He's very open about the like, I didn't pay them. And if they wanted to leave, go ahead and leave. Wow. What? The American Gladiators didn't get paid? They were making $25,000 for 52 episodes, they said. What? Yeah, two shows a day. That's what they get into in this. It's like how big the marketing got. There was 13 million viewers, I think, at one point per show. And he crushed it with all the, he made it. And he paid them nothing. Nothing. Piece of shit. They were getting hurt really bad. One of the guys was a big one to show how bad he is right now. He's walking around, he can't feel half of his limbs. Seven herniated discs. Oh my God. Remember they have names like, it was like fierce. Yeah. River. Yeah. Ice Cube. Yeah. Thunder. Thunder. Now it's like a- Barnacle. Lothargy. Like they're all in wheelchairs. Didn't they bring American Gladiators back at one point? Yeah, they tried bringing it back. The thing I find interesting about this guy is he started off his career as an Elvis personator, which is why he looks a little bit like Elvis. That dude doesn't look anything like Elvis. He doesn't fly Elvis. But that's what he was obsessed with Elvis? That could have been part of it. He could be putting on about how much he got. Ben Berman, huh? It's a very interesting documentary. I'll just say it that I- Oh, you mean like he might've been lying about how much money he made? He's lying about a lot of stuff. And the guy who's making it, you can hear him asking him. He's like, and he just sort of stops. Like I'm not gonna talk about that. He looks like a low level MMA promoter. That's what he looks like. He looks like one of those guys that our guys could take on the UFC's best champions any day of the week. Yeah. He's one of those guys. That's what he looks like. Yeah, that guy definitely looks maybe a little bit like a sneaky guy. Oh, he definitely looks sneaky. I'm trying to think of the first sneaky guy I ever met. The first sneaky guy you ever met? Yeah. You really can go back that far? Oh, yeah. When you met somebody in like a utter sneaky. Sneaky. Well, you mean a lot of them in the comedy business. The club owner business. You ever been ripped off by club? Dude, there was a club where I felt bad that people didn't come. And I was like, you guys can pay me less. And they paid me less, I remember. Because no one was there. You said they could. Yeah. That's not a robbery. That's a deal. Yeah, you're right. You made a deal. You were a nice guy. You were trying to help out the club. And you felt bad. Yeah, made a bad deal. Get another hit for that. Feel better. Thank you. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Jesus, you went in deep. You got your nostrils right up to the top. Give me that. I like that. I don't want you to be out there on your own. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. You know what I'm saying? A hunting, we will go hunting. You want some of this, Jamie? I remember. You remember? Oh, that's all you need? I don't know. I can't remember. Dude, you did it when? I just did it 10 seconds ago. I don't know. Oh. Oh, dude, you sound like a guy crying in the 40s. Ooh. Like his dog died. Oh, oh, oh, oh, D'Eller. I'm going to miss you. Ooh. Oh, my god. Dude, do you think like, do you ever think like the, do you think, remember we were talking about like frequencies, like there could be other ways to evaluate what's going on with us. Do you think we'll ever get like, new ways to look at our, to quantify ourselves and how we're feeling and stuff? Yeah. Yeah, I think so with science. Yeah, I think with new innovation and technology, they'll probably develop ways to recognize the amount of energy that your body has. Because like some people are just, they have energy. Like what is energy? Like I always think of that. I switched back to the carnivore diet. I go back and forth on that. And for the most part, I eat mostly meat and fruit and some vegetables. That's like most of my diet. Occasionally I go crazy. Like we were in the Bronx, we went to the Italian deli and these giant sandwiches is amazing. But that's a rare deviation on my path. But I had this moment, I guess it was about two weeks ago, where I was like, you know what, the best I ever felt, like literally the best I ever felt all throughout the day was when I was on the carnivore diet. Let me go back to that. Let me see what that's like. And one of the things that I saw like immediately, for seven, eight days, I eat nothing but meat and eggs and fat and bacon and nothing else. I mean, I was real strict. And my brain was working so much better. It was weird. Like I wasn't searching for, it was like I had more access to my ability to form sentences. I was thinking clear. It was like, it was more effortless to have conversations. And I was like, this is interesting. This is very interesting because this is not how I normally feel. This is like me at my optimum, but I'm able to sustain this multiple days in a row. And I think that a lot of the foods that we eat, foods that have preservatives, a lot of bread and bullshit and just shitty food, your body uses so much resources to process that. And it's not real food. It's kind of bad for you, right? And so your body is just like overburdened with this extra work. When you eat clean, like really, I mean, wild game and fat and beef tallow and all that and eggs, your body doesn't have any bullshit to process. So your body is less, you have less inflammation and you're operating off of ketones essentially, for the most part, because your body is entering into a ketogenic state. You just feel like even through the whole day. I never felt like at the end of the day, like, oh boy, I'm tired. There was none of that. So that's mostly on the keto diet. Well, it's carnivore diet. But carnivore, you must reach periods of ketosis. There's a process called gluconeogenesis, I believe it is, see if that's correct. And I think that what that is, is when your body consumes only protein, your body will convert some of that protein into glucose and then actually can knock you out of a ketogenic state if you eat too much protein. But when you eat like that, I mean, everybody's different, clearly. I know people that function very well on a vegetarian diet. Yeah. Not for me, dude. I like lunch. Yeah, gluconeogenesis, take you out of ketosis. A widespread fear surrounding keto is that consuming too much protein may lead to the upregulation of a process called gluconeogenesis and throw you out of ketosis, undoing all your hard work. The truth is, gluconeogenesis is essential for our overall health and actually allows us to remain in ketosis. Oh, okay. So it's good. So whatever that is, that's how I function at my best. So that's how I eat now. Like last night when Dave brought the pizza backstage, it looked good. What'd you do? I wanted a piece. I was like, I'm not eating it. Did you leave the room or anything or what were some of your methods you used to stay away from it? I don't really, I don't have to do that. I just go, no, just not eating it. Did you do a gum or anything to keep yourself busy? No, no, no, no. I wasn't even itchy. I wasn't itchy. You know, if I had a couple of cocktails in me though, I probably would have grabbed a slice. Oh, fuck you, boy. That's the problem. A couple of coc-couple of tequilas. Oh, you know. Next thing you know, I want some pizza. Oh, dude, I'll fucking. Yeah. I'll do whatever after that. But I think I'm. With a tequila. I think I'm done. I lost five pounds in two weeks and not anything but fat. Just immediately my body just shriveled up. Do you have some fitness goals? Like at this point in your life, you've kind of been through fitness a lot. It's been a big part of your life. Does some of your fitness goals kind of change as we get a little bit older, do you think? Not for me. Yeah. No, because with hormone replacement and all the stuff that I do, even at 55, my body functions essentially the same way it did when I was 30. And I'm not exaggerating. Like I have no problem doing hard workouts and kettlebells, heavy bag workout, jujitsu. Injuries are an issue, you know, with me. Like I just tweaked my back muscle the other day doing some deadlifts, but nothing serious. But as far as like fitness goals, it's just to maintain this. Yeah. I know I have an extraordinary level of fitness from my age and I just maintain that. And I think that if you can maintain it, that's the key. The real problem with people is they get out of shape and then getting back in shape is very hard. It's a fucking grind. Yeah. It's a grind. And for me, for my mental health, man, I am not the same person if I don't exercise. You know, with that whole thing with like- A hundred percent. The frequencies. My, I'm at my best as a human being, as a friend, as a husband, as a father, as a comedian, as a podcast host, as a, just as a neighbor, as a general person. I'm at my best if I work out. Yeah. 100% of the time, I'm less anxious. I don't have any demons. Everything's good. I exercise it all out. It's just like, it's like a purge that I have to do. I have to do that purge. And if I don't, I don't fucking- I don't get that out. Then I have all this extra, like, all this extra unnecessary angst and weirdness. And I think that's most people, man. When I go like, I've been injured before where I couldn't do anything for like a week or two, and you start getting depressed. You start feeling like shit. You start feeling real dull and sad and like, it's not. And I think that is a lot of people out there that suffer from depression. In fact, they say that exercise is one and a half times more effective than SSRIs for curing depression. Oh, and a heartbeat, man. If I take my, because I take SSRIs and I do exercise. If I take my SSRI, I don't feel really anything. I just feel like, oh, I took my SSRI. But if I go for a run, like, even today, I had to go run a couple of miles. I was like, I know I'm going to be on here. I want to have, I want to like just be in like my, I want to have my good energy going. I'm going to go for a run, you know? And so, yeah, I think it, I know that it makes me feel better if I do something athletic, you know? What SSR are you taking? I think I'm on Lexapro right now. I think the generic one, whatever the cheaper one is, you know, I think it's, I don't know what it is, but it is, they say it's fine. You know? So I don't know if I believe them, but I mean, I'm fucking taking it. Now, I would like to, I would like to maybe take 30 days off and try ayahuasca again. I feel like I'm getting back around where I would like to do it again, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I would, man. Because I want to fucking feel, I want to be right up there on nature's fucking... Mmm, I want to be in there. Eaves dropping on nature's nuts, boy. Yeah. I think, oh, it'll be right up there. Yeah. What'd you say, boy? Eaves dropping on nature. Right up next to it. Oh, dude. It's yelling it. Oh, ayahuasca, dude. You'll fucking, mother nature, you'll be, she'll break out that wiener and you'll be like, damn, I didn't know mother nature had a wiener, you know? Mother nature's got everything. It's powerful, dude. That ayahuasca stuff is real powerful. So I would like to do that again. What is the reason why you take the SSRIs? I think because when I'm off of them, something feels wrong. I feel it's a battle. A battle. It's a battle to, even if I do running and I do fitness, right? It's a battle to keep myself even. So instead of dealing with that at a more intense level, I choose to take them because it just makes it a little bit easier. I don't think it's taking the easy way out, though, because if I don't take them, and I still do all those things, it's hard for me to get to a good baseline. What do you mean by wrong? When you say you feel wrong, what does it feel like? I feel like at any moment, kind of, my feelings can just drop off into like a really surprised low. Out of nowhere for no reason. Yes. Sometimes with a little bit of motivation to it, right? Or some trigger. But the level that it drops off to, it's too much of a drop for me to not get some help. If we're a little bit and it felt manageable, that's okay. But when it's pretty steep, it's like, oh man, this feels sometimes scary. Yeah, I know what you're saying. But it's gotten, doing that Iowa's cause stuff made it a lot better than it had ever been. Neil Brennan said it basically cured him. Yeah, he's the one who took me to it. Yeah, he said it made him much happier. It cured him of like a lot of his, what he felt like were personality disorders that he had. Like Neil's a great guy, but he's very, very smart, very smart. And sometimes, I wonder about real smart guys, they're just always thinking about things and maybe too much about certain things. And you just get overwhelmed by thoughts and anxiety and emotions. And anxiety is a lot of, what anxiety a lot of is fretting about possibilities for a lot of people. It's the inability to live in the moment and you fret about anxiety. And a lot of it has to do with childhood trauma. A lot of it has to do with genetics. A lot of anxiety is a weird thing. They think that anxiety, whether it's a learned behavior or not, you can actually get it from your parents. I don't know why. I could see that. Can you get anxiety, is anxiety genetic? Google that. My mom made us anxious. Yeah? Yeah, dude, sometimes, we'd go get ice cream, dude, and she would like, she'd get angry if we, she'd get so angry if we dripped any of it. Here it goes. There's clear research showing that anxiety is influenced by genetics. In fact, experts notice a family connection for anxiety even before they understood how DNA or genes work. If you have a close relative with anxiety, your chance of developing is about two to six times higher than if you don't. Well, I don't know if that's genetic or if it's just like... Learned behavior. Yeah, if your mom is always, or your dad is always like, bah, they're fucking anxious and they come over and they're always fucking tickling you, then you're gonna fucking feel tickled all the time. If you're always getting fucked with. Yeah, yeah, something, bugging you or something, even just tickling you with their words. Yeah, genetics of generalized anxiety disorder and related traits. Well, for sure, mental illness is genetic. There's a lot of people that are mentally ill and their children are mentally ill, or their family's mentally ill. Man, I used to have a much more ignorant view on mental health because I have my own mental health issues, which I'm sure we all do, but mine was like, just don't be a pussy. Get your work done, you feel great. And I don't have to take anything, and even though I don't have to take anything, I'm still doing something to mitigate it. I'm doing something every day to work on it. And when I don't, I do feel it. Right. Like a lot of people do. So I always wonder, maybe those people just aren't doing the work. Maybe if they just got up in the morning, went running before work or did something before... Maybe they could get through this and not need a fucking pill. Yeah. I don't think that anymore. Interesting. I think, yeah, there's times where I thought that I'm just not tough enough. I'm just not doing enough. I'm not enough to battle this. And then I get to a point where so many times I tried to stop taking it, and it's like it's too much of a discrepancy that makes things unmanageable to a point where it feels like it's unfair to be that unmanageable to myself. So I get back on it. And I don't think it really bothers me or anything like that. But yeah, it's kind of the same with alcoholism. I thought alcoholism used to just be like somebody couldn't stop drinking or whatever. Right. But there's so much more. I mean, alcoholism is the only disease that will tell you you don't have the disease, right? That's correct. Like imagine if you put on a shirt, right? But every couple days, a shirt was like, guess what? You don't have a shirt on. I don't think that's a good analogy. I don't know if it is, but it seems like it. But that's what alcohol is. Alcoholism would tell you you don't have a problem. Right. You don't have a problem. Have another drink. Yeah. Relax. Have another coat. Have a have some more coat. Bump. Yeah. Have another family. Brian Simpson was telling us he went through a brief period of time where he was doing a lot of Adderall and he said like a week. He said he did a week of Adderall. And he said, man, he's like that shit. That shit pulls you in. Really? He said that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's like that shit pulls you in. He goes, it makes you focus. He told his fucking hilarious story about he went to jerk off and he had 90 tabs open. And he was looking at porn for five hours because he couldn't pick one that he liked the best. I was like, you got to talk about that on stage. Brian Simpson is so fucking funny. That's like he's like he is so fucking funny. Oh, yeah. He's great. He is so funny. His way of looking at things is so interesting because he's he's so thoughtful. Like when he thinks about things, he's really like he never comes up with a half ass take on things. His take on things is like he's been thinking about it for a long time before he brings it up. You know. Yeah. I like listening to him. There's something really unique about him. Very unique. Very unique comedy style, too. Relaxed and you know, and punch lines are crisp. Yeah, I love a crisp punch line. Yeah, you're pretty poor. You're you like you stay in like kind of like a you like to have the things kind of organized. Yeah, well, like that's the best. It's you also have the disorganized moment moments where you're fucking around. Like we have new bits is a lot of disorganized moments. Yeah, I was watching you perform last night. It was cool. Thank you. Yeah, so I mean, I think you're a little bit more of a fan. Thank you. Yeah, so I mean, so a lot of it was new stuff that I hadn't heard and yeah, I got about a half hour and new shit. It was. Yeah, there was a couple of things I was laughing at, man. It was fun. God, it was so much fun over there. God, it's so fun, right? I can't believe you have your own club. Doesn't it feel like it's been open forever, though? Isn't that feel is it feels weird in there? Well, I think some of it because it's been such a journey for you that other people have kind of been on with you in a way. Yeah. Well, also all these guys who had faith in me. Yeah. Who moved out here and moved out here when I didn't even have a club yet. And we were all just operating out of the Vulcan, but the shows of the Vulcan were so fun. People were like, man, I think I believe him. Yeah. That's us last night. Come on, son. Look at that picture. Come on, Louie, Dave, Tom, Ron, me, Ian, Theo motherfucking Vaughn, a son, Derek. Come on, man. Wow. That was a great night. What a show, too. What a fucking show. I know, dude. I can't believe we get to do this for our job. There you are. There I am. Yeah, man. It's the greatest job in the history of the world. David. For us. Look at Tom up there killing it. Dude, Ron, look at him, huh? Murdering. Murdering. I retired. Bitch, you ain't retired. You've been at my club four days a week. Just fuck up. He had a retirement party. I'm like, I am not going to your fucking Kazy. He had a retirement party. I'm like, I am not going to your fucking Fagazi retirement party. I know you, Ron White. You're too goddamn good. He's too goddamn good. That guy's never going to quit doing comedy. He's too good. He's too. Even just listening to him is fun. And he comes from a time. He has a time period trapped in him that is on. A lot of people don't have it. He's got that rural Texas, like a way and a look at the world that you have to have that voice still out there. Yeah. You know, you have to. He's a real legend. Having him around the club all the time, it's like it's so morale boosting for everybody. I just saw this video of him. Look at Ron White. Look at his- 1989. Look at him. Give me some of this. You know, I was amazed by this. 21 of us took us down there to the Guadalupe River. We had six ice chests full of beer. We floated down that river drinking beer for six and a half hours. Not one person had to pee. Now I find that to be remarkable bladder control. I like to think my friends wouldn't pee on themselves. I know I would. That's the best thing about tubing a river. You could just paddle up to somebody you don't even know. Oh, it is pretty true, dude. Just peeing right next to somebody. There's nothing. Look at him back then. Wow. Look at him back there with the long hair. He's like a hippie. Bro, the early 90s. Wow. There's nothing better than being in a pool talking to somebody and peeing at the same time. I get point blank range. There's a lot of things better than that. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. There's a lot of things. That's not even in the top 1000. Out of all the good things, the smell of fresh baked bread is better than that. All right, baby, dude. Without even eating it. I mean, yeah, if you got a fucking kitchen or whatever. Yeah, but still, I'm saying if you're really just out in the elements, dude, being point blank range, urinating in somebody else's space. That doesn't do anything good for, I feel like a terrible person for pissing on somebody. Yeah, you're right. Come on, man. Yeah, yeah. Why are you out there peeing on people? We're better than that. We're better than that. Yeah, we are. Come on, man. Yeah, you're right. We're better than that. You're right. I'm not going to let that affect me. You excited about tonight? Yeah. Let's fucking go. Yeah, I'm excited, dude. I get excited every time I go there. You do? Yeah, I can't believe it's real. Still can't believe it's real. Yeah. When I walk in, I can't believe it's real. Say hi to everybody. Can't believe it's real. All these people are working. Staff. I know. Everybody, hi. How's everybody doing? Can't believe it's real. You're like, okay. Go upstairs. All the comics are there hanging out. It's a party every night. It's like the best night of your life every night. It's like what we have at the store, better. It really is. Yeah. It's crazy. It's the environment. And it's so perfectly set up for stand up. And the audiences are so hyped. I mean, you get there at 930. There's a fucking line around the block waiting to get on that 10 o'clock show. Yeah. It's nuts. It is exciting, man. I mean, even just seeing people excited to be at a club again is exciting. Yeah. Well, this town has really embraced it. Because it was a long time that I was... Us moving here was a big deal. A lot of articles written like this stand up comedy has moved to Austin. And then when I said I was going to open up a club, there was a lot of hype about that. And it was almost better that the first place didn't work out because it took so long before we bought the second place and then started construction. It was a whole year process after that. It was a lot going on. It's like a year and a half of just straight construction. Did you feel at some point, was there ever a point where you were like, I don't know if this is going to work out, but I've already said it's going to, so I have to do it? No. No, because fortunately, I had the resources. If I was stressed out financially and I was cutting it close, that would have been a different experience. This experience was like, what do we got to do? Okay, let's do that. What's the best thing to do? Do that. When Louis C.K. came and I showed him the club and he fucking loved it, but he gave me all these good suggestions. One of the things he said, the stage in the small room was too big. And he was like, you're right. He's like, yeah, she cut it down four feet on each side. So I got the construction guys over here. Before we poured the cement, so all the rebar was cut, the metal was in place. And I was like, let's make it smaller. Cut it here and cut it there. And they're like, well, it's going to take more time. Yeah, but we got to do it right. Let's do it right. Lower the ceiling, shrink the stage, lower the ceiling in the big room, sound deadening everywhere. Because like a lot of comics like, they like echo in a comic club because it makes the laughs louder. But it also makes it harder to hear what the person's saying because all the sounds bouncing around. Yeah, I don't like that. I like it with carpet or, you know, like as much can be absorbed. That's what you want. What we got now is perfect. Yeah, Louie's awesome, man. Louie came on my podcast and we had one of the best chats I've ever had with somebody. You told me that the YouTube removed your RFK podcast. Yeah. What happened? Yeah, they said some of the clips were in violation of their medical policies or like stuff that goes against the WHO, right? Do you know that North Korea just joined the WHO? North Korea has like an executive position on the board of the WHO. See what that is, which is insane. Yeah. This is literally a country that starves their citizens and the WHO is allowing them. I mean, it's just what is the WHO? What the fuck? You're telling me that Robert Kennedy Jr. is lying because I bet he's not. Yeah. I bet everything he said is true. I bet everything he said could be backed up by data. Well, I mean, one thing that I love about Bobby or Robert Kennedy, he's a friend of mine and I've always really\u2026 He's an environmentalist, right? That's how we start. He was an environmentalist. Environmentalist. So it makes sense that he would care about the environment inside of our bodies as well, right? Yeah. Like he has this river keeper's organization. They're just about keeping the waters clean and his whole life has been about that kind of stuff. So I don't know. I found it just like, yeah, if somebody wants to object to the status quo or raise their hand and ask questions, that makes perfect sense to me. And then also he's not like an anti-vaxxer, but he's about like vaccine efficacy, right? Which means I think like\u2026 It's about honest vaccine efficacy. Like what's the real data versus what are they selling you? Because if you look at the COVID vaccine, for example, they sold us something that wasn't accurate. They said that it was going to stop transmission. They said that it was going to stop infection. It did neither of those things. They also said that it was going to offer long lasting protection. It did not. It just didn't. And they said that it was safe and effective. It's\u2026 how can they know that? It's a new product and you're administering it to hundreds of millions of people without a lengthy trial period like they do with every other drug. So all these people were like wanting it to be effective. So they were doing the work of the pharmaceutical companies, which they've never done before. No one has ever like said, you've got to trust these people that have the biggest fucking criminal fines in US history. These people that have been lying to us left and right. These people that have\u2026 they've been tried and convicted for lying about the side effects, for lying about the efficacy, whether or not something is addictive. We know that with the opioid crisis. Oh yeah. You watch Dopesick for\u2026 I mean, that's unbelievable. You get involved in it. It's unbelievable what's happened with all of that. Yeah. This is\u2026 and the Sackler family just got\u2026 they just\u2026 they had to give\u2026 I think it was like a large payment. I think it was like six or eight billion dollars and that gives them immunity. That was very recent. See if you can find that. But that's fucking nothing. Sackler family wins immunity from opioid lawsuits, which is fucking wild. Unreal. Six billion. So they\u2026 What about all the people that fucking died? What about all the fucking kids that overdose? What about all the families who had a child who sprained their fucking ankle and lost their\u2026 and two years later lost their kid to addiction because this company didn't care and because the FDA was compromiseable. I'm sorry, man. That shit fucking makes me\u2026 I think these people should be fucking hung. It's evil. And they lied. It's evil. That's what it is. They absolutely lied about whether or not it was addictive. In exchange, they will pay six billion to help address opioid addiction. What does that mean? What does that mean? How are you going to address it? Hey, guys. Opioids are addictive. Who knows? Yeah, man. The payments will be spread over multiple years. But look at how much they made. See, the thing is they're collectively worth 11 billion and they had to give up six. So how much money did they make off of opiates? See, that's the thing that happened with Vioxx. With Vioxx, they got in trouble for\u2026 Vioxx is an anti-inflammatory that didn't particularly work very well and also killed a bunch of people. Killed at least 50,000 Americans. A friend of mine got a stroke from it. It caused all these issues with people. They were aware of it. There's internal documents that showed that it was going to be a problem. They knew it was going to be a problem. But in the internal documents, they said, but we think we will do very well with this. So they did very well financially. I think they made something like 12 billion off of Vioxx and they had to give up five. So they got a fine of five billion. But that means they had all that profit. That's a lot. That's sick. When did that start to happen in our country? When did it start to happen that we're not protecting our people? Like when did that\u2026 Like profit. It's all profit. If there was no money in this, they would go after those folks 100%. There's money. When did it happen in our time, in existence of time? Was there a point where that wasn't the way of the thing? Well, here's the first problem. Advertising for pharmaceutical drugs on television. Advertising for pharmaceutical drugs is illegal in every country in the world, except for New Zealand and the United States. You shouldn't be able to influence people to want to take these drugs that they may or may not need. That should be entirely a conversation between you and your healthcare provider. Someone should be giving you an educated understanding of what the pros and cons are. And this is why I think you need this. And this is why you should take that. It shouldn't be you coming to your doctor. Ask your doctor if la la la is right for you. Do you have days where blah blah blah, do you have the huh? Well, la la la is for you. And they have these fucking people dancing around in wheat fields and, you know, and spinning their daughter around and marrying around and everything looks like a great old time. Yeah. Yeah. They have like two black people like hugging in a bathtub or something. It's a cookout. Everybody's having a great time. Bliss. Yeah. It's about happy moments. But here's the thing. You take those pills, they're not going to invite you to that cookout. You still got no friends. You just had home on pills, dude. I've done it. You're not, yeah, you're not fucking resuscitable. You're not doing CPR on some senior citizens somewhere. You're not playing pickleball in the sun. You're out there suffering by yourself. But it's crazy. It's like everybody wants to be happy. So the problem with advertising is, I mean, there's one thing if you're advertising for a nice pair of shoes or something like that, I don't find any problem with that. It makes people want them. But what's the downside? You buy something you really can't afford. That's the worst downside. I don't find that to be that much of a problem. I don't find advertising in general to be a problem because I believe generally, if you're intelligent, you should be able to like navigate that. But when it comes to things like drugs, and especially when it comes to antidepressants, and when it comes to these things that they're advertising constantly on television, constantly on YouTube, just constantly, the amount of money is so extraordinary that they put into advertising. It's such a huge chunk of the advertising budgets of television shows, every show, every show. I mean, it's not a joke. It's every, it's like, don't we see that that's obviously not, we don't need everybody to be on pills. Yeah. Well, they think you do. This is what I found so bizarre. Look, I never thought I would be in the center of any sort of controversy about pharmaceutical drugs or about healthcare. Never thought that I would be in the middle of it. But one of the things that stunned me was talking to these people that were doctors, that were fat, that were unhealthy, that didn't take vitamins, that didn't exercise, that definitely didn't optimize their health. And they were trying to put in your head that the only way to be healthy was to get injected with some experimental medical thing. And that's fucking horseshit. That's never been the case, ever. That violates all of our understandings about the human immune system, about health and wellness, about just your overall metabolic health. It violates all of our understandings. People who are healthier, people who exercise, people go outside, who get vitamin D, people that are taking vitamin C, people that are supplementing, they have a much better time with any kind of illness they get. And there's a lot of documentation about this. This is science too, but the problem is it's not science that's supported by these companies that are directly funded by pharmaceutical companies. Whatever these organizing bodies are, whether it's the FDA or the CDC or whatever, when you look at what happens with the FDA and the CDC, how these people go from being presidents and being the people that recommend policy, and then they go on to become fucking... CFO or CEO of another of a pharmaceutical company. Yes, there's a fucking revolving door and it's evil. That shit should not be legal. I agree. It's crazy that they're allowed to do that. Well, how do we stop that kind of stuff though? How do you as a regular person... You can't. A regular person can't. Well, you can get the voice out to all these people that these people... Look, if anything we learned from the pandemic, you can't trust these people. You cannot trust everything they say as being fact. You just can't. There's another thing that got released today about reproductive repercussions of the COVID vaccine. I'll find out for you. Because there's people that have been talking about this, that they're just now... They're finding out that there absolutely is negative side effects for women that are pregnant, for women's reproductive health, for... Well, I'll tell you this, Joe. See if you can find that. This is something... I think it came from the UK. It just got released today. I remember... I grew up in an environment where... Tulane University, I've told you this before, they had their primate testing facility in our town. Yeah. And a bunch of chimps got out once and we got to help the police go get them. I told you about that. Yeah. But that's where they tested the polio vaccine. That's where they made it. And it caused cancer in a lot of women, like in their cervical cancer, I believe. But they'd already made it. And they're like, it'll cure, it'll stop polio, but some women will get service. So they just released it. Did you know that polio, 95% of people get polio, it's asymptomatic? So what does that mean? I'm reading this book about this. That might not be true. So I need to make sure that this book is accurate. But what they're basically saying in this book is that a lot of the cases of polio that we talk about from back in the day, DDT was in widespread use back then, widespread use as a pesticide. And they were using DDT to kill bugs that they thought carried diseases. But the problem is DDT exposure is insanely toxic. Now we know that, now DDT, they don't use it anymore in America. Yeah. But they still use it in other countries where polio-like symptoms are very prevalent. One of the side effects, one of the effects of DDT poisoning is polio-like symptoms. I think it's called encephalopathy. See what that is. DDT side effects. We didn't have a lot of polio, I don't think, in our area. Well, polio was something that was going on in the early part of the 20th century. And it's widely credited that the polio vaccine is what stopped that. I used to wholesale believe that until this pandemic. And now I question everything. Now I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what the truth is, whether it's smallpox or polio. I have a feeling that there's a lot more to the story than what the general narrative is that we've been given. They said vaccines are this amazing cure. I think there's a lot of other factors. And I think one of the other factors was hygiene. And the book is called Dissolving Illusions. And it's all about the origins of vaccines and what vaccines have done to stop disease spread and what the negative side effects have been. And it's just like, there's a lot of negative side effects, man. And to pretend that it's safe and effective, like when you're administering things to millions, if not hundreds of millions of people, there's going to be some problems. And they don't want to advertise those problems. And they don't want to make those problems publicly known. Oh yeah. They're side effects. Yeah. You can't fucking can't whisper. You can't see far. There's all kinds of side effects. Dude, we had a guy who broke into Walgreens and did like seven. He was addicted to the COVID vaccine. He did like seven inoculations. I got a lady in my neighborhood that keeps getting boosted or doctor told her stop getting boosted. Doctors like no more. She's like, I got to go to LA. I need to get boosted. The doctor's like, it's enough. It's enough. This is most of the side effects I can find. Okay. DDT at low environmental doses are unknown following exposure to high doses. Human symptoms can include vomiting, tremors, or shakiness and seizures. Laboratory animals showed side effects and liver and reproduction. DDT is considered possible human carcinogen. In this book, they were talking about paralysis, all sorts of issues. A lot of laboratory animals are pussies though, aren't they? I don't know. It's estimated that 95 to 99% of people who contract polio virus are asymptomatic. Isn't that wild? Wow. So what does that mean? You don't even know you had it. Right. It's not, it doesn't affect it. Your body fights it off. That was the same for me. I remember I came here and got tested for COVID by you guys and I had the antibodies. Yeah, you had it and you didn't even know. Yeah. That was a lot of people with COVID, but I think that's people that are healthier. I think that's people that got exposed to it. I know I got exposed to it because my whole family got it. My wife got it. Both my kids got it. And I was at home with them. I didn't protect myself at all because I was like, they seem okay. I'm healthy as fuck. I'm like, let's see what happens. And I never got it. And I didn't protect myself at all. I had sex with my wife. I hugged my kids. My wife was like, you're going to get it. I go, I'm not going to get it. Yeah. I'm not going to get it. I'm going to hold my breath. It was one of those things where I was trying to see, and there was two days where I worked out, two days. And during those days where I was working out, I was like, Ooh, I feel weak. And so I just like broke a sweat. I just didn't push myself. I just gently worked out. I did like 35 pound kettlebells, nothing crazy. I went through like a mobility workout. I did it two days in a row. And then the third day I felt fucking great. The third day my body was like, let's go. And I had a hard workout the third day. And I'm like, all right, whatever it is, I didn't get it. And I didn't even have antibodies. I had nothing. I got tested for antibodies. Like nothing. So I know I was exposed to it, but my body completely fought it off. And then the time that I did get it, we had flown to Florida. We did a gig and then we flew to, I think it was Orlando, did another gig. We're doing arenas, right? And it's in the round. So it's a COVID spray. People just spraying COVID at you laughing and cheering shit. And then I went out with my friend, John Shoman, and we, I had like five margaritas. We played pool till 3 30 in the morning. Oh wow. And you know, pool is intense for me. I played serious pool and there's a lot of concentration and I was tired. And that night I was like, God damn, I don't fucking feel like shit. He was tired, but I thought I was just hungover and drunk. I thought it was like, Oh God, I got to go to bed. And I woke up in the morning. I'm like, I don't feel right. I felt off. You know, I just felt a hundred percent. It was COVID. And then that night I did an arena. No problem. Wow. Killed great show. And then flying back that night, I was really cold. I was like, is it cold on this plane? And Tony was like, no, it's not. I'm like, man, I feel like shit. And so when I landed, I called my wife. I go, I don't know, probably nothing's going on, but I feel like shit. So maybe we should sleep in different rooms. And then I got tested in the morning. Turned out that I had it. I was sweating all night. Like at night, I was like very sweaty. And then the next day, got the IVs the day after felt pretty good. The day after that, I made that video. And then fucking CNN accused me of taking veterinary medicine. They didn't like the fact that I got better quick. Dude, I took steroids and I was going, I'll take fucking whatever horses are taking. Horses are doing great. First of all, you fucking see how many horses are looking awesome. They do look great. But not only that, that medication is not horse-dealing. Literally a human medication that's been prescribed to billions of doses. Agreed. It's a dumb fucking way for them to say it's just fucking shitty news. It's not just shitty news. It's propaganda that they did on behalf of the pharmaceutical companies. They did it under the guise that they're a news organization. But how do they get so many people to, that's why I'm like, how does a medical group get so many people to believe that? Simple. That they shut their businesses down and everything. They had to. They had to. I mean, if the government of LA or the government of California tells you you have to shut your business down, you have to shut your business down. And to people like me who got COVID and got over it very quickly, that's infuriating. Because I have had the flu that lasted a lot longer than that. With the right medications, you can get over it. But they didn't want anybody knowing that. That's why they were trying to limit monoclonal antibodies. They didn't want people just taking that because you just get right better. Yeah, I mean, but yeah, that's one cool thing that Bobby knows about. He knows about a lot of that stuff. Oh my God. He's the best source of information about that stuff ever. Because he can, he's so brilliant, he can just recite it at any point. Like you can bring it up and he'll explain to you what the actual test said versus like the actual test when they said the COVID, it was the vaccine was 100% effective. Do you know how they did that? Because two people, I think the way it was like two people in the placebo group got COVID, one person in the vaccine group got COVID. So it's double, which means it's 100% effective. It was something stupid like that. Like their measurement of 100% effective is so dishonest. Yeah. It's sneaky. It's like they're technically allowed to say things that way. Right. But like when they were saying things like it stops transmission, they had to admit they, they, they, one of the CEOs of Pfizer, one of the head executives had to give some speech at your, I think it was the UK parliament. And they had to explain that there was no testing done of whether they'd never tested to see if it stopped transmission. They only tested to see if it gave antibodies and it did. But all that other stuff was horseshit. You know, like when Rachel Mattos on TV going, it's going to stop that virus in its tracks. The virus ends with you. You can't affect anyone. You can't get infected. That's a lie. That was a lie. And they, no one's being punished for that. And they'll say that Bobby Kennedy is spreading misinformation where everything he said, you can verify everything he said is true, but there's no money in agreeing with him. The amount of money that these news organizations, supposed news organizations get from being on the side of the pharmaceutical companies and being in their good graces is fucking millions and millions of dollars in advertising revenue. And they have a very specific mandate. And so does YouTube. And that's why YouTube pulled your video. Yeah. I mean, it was shocking to me because the videos have been up for a long time. You know, the clips had been up for a year and then, and yeah, they hit us up more like, yeah, we have to take these down because they spread. What was this specific thing? COVID misinformation, the specific thing that they said about it. Yeah. What was the specific subject that Bobby brought up that they said was misinformation? Let me see if I can find it. Because a lot of the things that they used to pull videos for back in the day, they don't pull anymore. It was, let me see, Bobby Kennedy Jr. on Dr. Fauci. Trump called for a meeting with Bobby Kennedy Jr. about vaccines and Trump and Dr. Fauci met with Bobby Kennedy Jr. about vaccines, those three clips. But I just thought it was interesting that like for the timing for me was really interesting. I mean, I was upset. How long ago was this? They pulled it two weeks ago. Really? A week and a half ago. Really? So they'd been up for a long time. So it made me think like, well, why now? But it also could just be- He's running for president. That's why. That's what I first thought. And that's probably what I do think. It could be also, I don't know how the algorithm works. If his name is getting propelled more so than it makes clips more prominent so than they see them. Yeah, I mean, you know what, man. But here's, I mean, the thing that upset me the most was that no, no, a lot of, I don't know, so many addicts died from all the AA rooms, all the sobriety rooms, all the recovery, all the 12- Everything got shut down. Shut down. And so the number of people that died from that is more than the number of people that died from COVID. Well, how about the number of people that died that didn't get diagnosed? Oh, you covered your face. I like what you did there. I like to fucking get in there, bitch. You got in there. You got in there. I'm fucking getting in there, boy. I'll come in this fucking thing. Don't do that. Sorry. So many people, so many people died from a bunch of different things because of it. Do you think this is the gayest way you could jerk off if you lay on your back, right? And you're off with your legs in the air. No, I watched a monkey jerk off into his own mouth. I think that's the gayest way. The monkey was hanging from his feet and he jacked off into his own mouth. Was he stuck somewhere? Was he trapped? I was having a good time. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. He wasn't stuck. Yeah. If you're in an avalanche or something, I could see you having a snack. No, but I think if you're doing something, leave it in your body. I don't know, dude. You're stuck somewhere? Yeah. You're telling me you're stuck in an avalanche. And people are going to find you. I think he ate his own calm before he died. That's going to be a thing that people try to hide. I don't know. It says I only had a little. But I'm not dying on an empty stump. I mean, you know, you'd have to have something. You got it. Bro, you're dying. You've been trapped for four days in an avalanche. You think that jerking off in your own mouth is going to give you some form of relief? I think it's going to buy you another afternoon of being alive. A whole afternoon from a load? What kind of loads are you shooting? Kind of Peter North sized loads. Are you chugging down? Jesus Christ. I don't think it works that way. Oh, I buy you a whole afternoon. That's fucking wiener wine at that point. If you're stuck in an avalanche. Like a radio, like, okay, this is going to sound crazy. But to buy yourself a whole other afternoon, Theo, I'm going to need you to jerk off in your mouth. No. Come on, man. You're fucking, you changed. You just reminded me of this video. Oh my God. I saw this guy. Yeah. He's skiing and he sees something sticking up out of the snow and it's a snowboard flipped upside down. Oh, is there a person in there? Yeah. He starts like, yeah, can you hear me? You know, like the guy sort of answers, I think. Oh, there's a lot of guys will meet up anywhere. Oh my God. The guy's alive in there. Completely upside down. You haven't seen the show. No, no. I thought this was a different one that I saw. So he just started digging them out. He luckily, oh my God, he had a shovel in his bag. And there's no way if you don't test this dude's breath, this guy that it doesn't know. Oh my God. The guy on his way to be dead. He's on his head to be dead. Can you hear me? How did he find this guy? Dude, the way he, look, I'll show you right now. He sees it to go back to the beginning. He's skiing with a friend and it's thick powder. He's probably worried about his own life. For sure. And then all of a sudden I think, Oh, he sees the little board right there. Yeah. And he has to get back up. That's insane. What are the odds? Oh my God. So scoot ahead to see him pull the dude out. Thank you. Oh my God. This guy was done. That's polite. Do more. Oh my God. Oh, oh, it must be like being reborn. It must be exactly what it's like to be born. Look at this guy. He is deep under that shit. It was probably out cold. What did he breathe? I don't know. It must have happened like minutes before. Yeah. I haven't read any sort of like follow-up on like how long that guy was there. Cause this has happened. This happens. There's other stories I found trying to find this one even. How long can somebody breathe under snow? I wonder. They had the other one. I found the guy. So he had been there for six hours. Oh my God. So air must be able to get in there then, huh? I don't know. I mean, I guess like wherever your space is that, you know, the creation of space from your head going under and then the snow covering, maybe it's not perfect. So there's some air. Like maybe if you make as much space as you can, how much air can get to you? If you had a plant with you. And he was upside down. Maybe if you had like a small plant or something, how long does it take a plant to make air? Do you think you have to have like a little flower pot with you? Yeah. I mean, does it work like that? Don't use it all up so fast, but I would do little sips like water. If you're in the desert, just take a little sip every now and again. Man, what are the odds of that guy staying alive? That's wild man. He's got a new lease on life. That's a fucked up way to go too. Cause he was conscious under that. It's scary. Fuck. Yeah, it is being alive. Feel scary sometimes, doesn't it? Just regular. Yeah. How so? Just like, I feel like it just, you know, it just feels kind of like I don't know. It just feels a little spooky. Really? I think so. Sometimes. Sometimes. Like right now. I think you have moments where you realize you're alive. You ever have like moments like that, like real, like moments where like, holy shit, I'm fucking alive. Yeah. It like hits you in a weird way. You're like, I'm fucking alive. Like what the hell? And then you, it's almost like the same when you have those feelings like, oh my gosh, one day I'm not going to be alive. It's that same sort of like, that's a weird one. And it gets so like, there's just sometimes it drops into your body and you can really feel it. You know, dude, you think the wind, do you think we could ever decipher the wind? Like the wind, like you think the wind is ever trying to tell us something and we don't know how to hear it anymore? No, no, they get all the wind is just the wind. I don't think the wind is trying to tell you something. Maybe the earth is trying to tell you something. But do you think the earth could might use the wind to try to tell us something? Cause how else would it tell us? Well, definitely be telling you something. If you're an animal that storms are coming. Right. Right. So if it tells you that it could easily give you other information. Maybe. I think really you're learning it from the animals though, who know it from the conditions. There's like certain parts of the world where when storms are coming, like birds will stop chirping, everything gets real quiet and then people kind of know, uh-oh, they've learned to know that when the animals behave a certain way, the storm is coming. You imagine when it was like back in the day, we had no idea when a hurricane was coming. It is like living on some seaside town. Everything seems fine. Not to go to bed. You're just whistling your wife. Like she's like, play me a tune, Danny. And this sky becomes an angry monster that tears houses apart. Hello there. That's the wind talking to you. That's the wind. Hey, they used to have some dudes that would get out there and try to let those, you think the wind could jerk you. You think the wind could make you a jackalit if it were powerful enough? I think you're horny. I think you're just thinking about cum a lot. You got a lady friend? Nope. Maybe that's what's going on. Yeah, I just went on vacation by myself. Whoa, by yourself. Solo? Yep. Where'd you go? Maui. Really? What do you do when you go on vacation by yourself? Just get up early, go to sleep early. I was trying to get like my circadian clock or something again. Rhythm? Yeah. Reacuated. Where did you go to like four seasons or something? Yes. And just hang out by yourself? Did you go by the pool? What did you do? By the pool, went in the beach. What else did I do? Did people weird out by you? Like, hey, do you feel vulnerable? Some people. Yeah. Meet a lot of people. And they're like, what are you doing? Like, oh, I'm on vacation by myself. You're a little weird. You're like, oh, okay. Do you have friends or family or something? What made you decide to go to Maui by yourself? Where'd that come from? Well, sometimes I like to have time by myself. I don't get it. I mean, I guess I get a lot of time by myself, but I wanted to have nothing to do. Right. And I wanted to go and get like in the beach where I feel like it's like, there's something magical about the beach, you know? It's like, this is where mother nature is really fucking, you know? Yeah. This is where she's dialing up the beach. So what was the thought process? You're sitting in front of your computer. You like Googling places to go. I need a vacation. By yourself. Have you ever done that before? No. I never done that before either. Just my first one by myself. Yeah. So I thought, yeah, I just said I need a vacation. And then I was like, well, if I told myself I'm gonna give myself a vacation, I need to make sure I do it so that I'm not like building up this bad story with myself where I tell myself I'm gonna do something and not do it. Oh. So yeah, I went on and I had a nice time. By yourself. Yeah. Relax. A lot of Filipinos over there. You know, a lot of Hawaiians or Loki Filipinos. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Oh, it's remarkable, man. I met so many Filipinos, man. They're great, huh? Oh, I love Filipinos. Fuck, they're good. Well, you know, I paid a lot of pool. How do they do it? They're just friendly people, man. Real friendly people. If I die or whenever I die, if I die, I am going to, I want the last person I see to be Filipino. Really? Easily. Who do you want to see you think? Why Filipino? You're telling me you're dying, right? You're like, oh, gosh. And then some guy's like, hello. My name's Joey. Joey's a common Filipino name. Joey, yeah. Or Sonny. They have like kind of easy names, you know. Yeah, friendly names. Happy names. Yeah. Happy names. Yeah. Yeah. Everything's fine. You'd be like, okay. They're some of the best pool players in the world. Are they really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. The American GIs went over to Philippines in, I think it was the 1950s after World War II, and they introduced them to pool. I think that's how it happened, American pool. God, they're so good. I mean, I just, I don't know. I think they just- Choose over there. The pool playing pool was- Oh my God. Yeah. The real famous pool players, they're famous like a pro baseball player is famous over here. Efren Reyes, he's a celebrity in the Philippines. The greatest pool player of all time. He's from the Philippines. Yeah, they make me the, I think they just make me the happiest when I see him. Interesting. There's something just so warm and accepting about him. Well, especially just island people in general. Yeah. When you go to Hawaii, those motherfuckers know how to live. Yeah. They know how to live. They know how to live. They live in paradise. You're walking around in flip-flops. It's fine. Everything's going to be cool. Yeah, everything's fine, dude. Everything's cool. I love Maui. Yeah. Well, you told me about it before, I think. Yeah. And you told me to even stay at that hotel. Yeah, it's great. You know? But Duncan went there and when Duncan was there, somebody got to eat by a shark. Uh-oh. Oh yeah. Yeah, not even like that far away from the resort. I did snorkeling and it very alarming. It's spooky. Snorkeling is. Did you see that video of the dude in a kayak that gets attacked by a tiger shark while he's on the kayak? Uh-uh. Bro, this dude's fishing on a kayak, a little kayak, like the size of this fucking table. Uh-huh. And this tiger shark just comes zipping at him and takes us, check this out. Watch this. Give me some volume. Look at this. Tiger shark! Holy shit, bro. Watch that again. Watch this again. Watch this motherfucker sneak up on him. He's just chilling. This is awful Wahoo. Look at it coming. Bro, fuck that. You see that. Tiger shark rammy. Ram-u. Bro, that motherfucker bit you. He bit your boat. Look at it biting the boat, man. That thing doesn't give a fuck, dude. They'll eat anything. They're so vicious. Those are the ones that bite people. Some guy, some kid just jumped off a ship the other day into the water. Oh, yea, fell overboard, right? He jumped. Apparently it was a dare. This guy was out of Baton Rouge, actually. Was it on like a cruise ship? Yeah. It was like a- Is he dead? He disappeared, yeah. Ooh. So he's either- Disappeared. Yeah. Disappeared. Would you rather, uh, being disappeared is kind of interesting because you could come back. I don't think he disappeared. I think he drowned. Well, some people say they thought that in part of the video they thought they see a shark. Hmm. Do you see the video? In the middle of the ocean? Do you know, most fish are around the middle, most fish are within like 200 miles of shore. I believe that. Yeah. Where else would you go? Most of the open area, like when you go deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep in the middle of the ocean, there ain't shit out there. Nothing's out there. Yeah, it's like the desert. Oh, yeah, huh? Yeah. It's like the wet desert. I think that's true. Google that. The majority of fish are 200 miles from shore. I'm pretty sure that's true. I'm trying to think if I've seen a fish way out there before. Fuck those tiger sharks though, right? Fuck those things. That's one of the ones that got the person that when Duncan was staying there. Oh, yeah. Look, dude, I was started snorkeling and so finally I realized like there wasn't even any fish there. I was like, this is bad. And the water would lift you up and then it would like set you down like in a bunch of rocks. And I'm like, this is real scary. So I had to come back in and I knew it was weird because like the lifeguards were looking at me. So I was like, Oh, getting out there. Yeah. I was like, it is people get out there, man. You watch them swim out there and you know, some dude from fucking Cleveland, the can't play around in the ocean and he's out there. Deep, deep, deep. This was where does he can get. You can get jacked by a fucking ocean werewolf. That tiger shark is an ocean werewolf. That thing just leaped out of the water and bit that dude's boat. Fuck man. What did it think that was like people say, Oh, I thought you were a seal. That did not think that that was a seal. That thing probably thought it was a boat and as a person on that boat, I like to eat that person. Well, nature's fucking probably getting pissed after all this shit that has been happening in mother nature, that she's going to send animals. She's going to send weather. She's going to send storms. She's going to send snow to try to kill that guy. I believe that mother nature is going to have a play in all of this. Why does mother nature go after the Sackler family? Hopefully she'll get to them. How would you get to them? You think? I don't know. I fucking hate those people so much though. Yeah, it's evil. It's evil, man. They're just balling, just eating caviar, driving around Rolls Royce's. But there aren't any feelings. Well, I think what happens with people when they're a part of something really big, it's called a diffusion of responsibility because there's so many people there. They're like, they say that if you're in a crowded area and someone gets jumped by someone, someone's beaten that person up, you feel less likely. You feel like you don't have anything to do with it. You don't have to intervene. Because there's so many other people there, they're not going to do it. If you're not going to do it, they're not going to do it. It's a diffusion of responsibility. So many people. But if it was just you and another person, that person was getting attacked and they're like, help me, help me. You would feel compelled to help because it's only you. I think when you're a part of an enormous corporation that has thousands of employees that's doing evil shit like the Sackler family, I think you just think you're a part of a thing. And you think you could probably dismiss it by saying, well, for most people, this provides them the needed relief from pain. And if used correctly, there's not an issue. But it's an incredibly dangerous drug. And it's an incredibly dangerous drug that's given out far too frequently, far too easily. And I know this from my own personal experience. I had my nose fixed, had a deviated septum. And the guy fixed my nose and he wakes me up after you go under. And I have these things stuffed in my nose, my nostrils stuffed up. And he offers me two different painkillers. Oh, dang. He writes me a prescription for two different painkillers. I go, well, how painful is this going to get? And he goes, well, a lot of people find it very painful and a lot of discomfort, and this will help you. And I go, but is it going to get more uncomfortable than right now? And he's like, well, how do you feel right now? I go, I feel fine. Like it's not even hurt. And I'm like, okay. He goes, I really think you should fill these. Because otherwise, you know, if you need it, you're not going to have anything, you're going to be miserable. I'm like, okay. So I didn't. And I went home and I waited. And I'm like, I don't feel bad at all. Like I feel fine. And after a certain amount of time, you take the things out of your nose. And they had stuck these plastic splints in my nose. Oh, yeah. And they remove all that stuff. And I never took anything. And I never felt pain. But this guy had given me this stuff. And he gave me two different ones. Like, and he was a really good doctor. It's not like he was a fucking quack. If I decided to just start popping them, I'd be like, Hey, man, I need it. I got an operation. I need it. Yeah. Meanwhile, there's a core vet. Yeah, there was nothing wrong with me. Like I was fine. Like after the operation, after I woke up from the anesthesia, I mean, it was didn't feel great. But it wasn't like I'm in agony. Yeah. So they're just giving me oxycodone. Yeah. And I'm not even hurt. It's not like I need something. Give me something for the pain. Oh my god. I'm in agony. He was like, how do you feel? I go, I can feel pretty good. Like I wasn't being a tough guy. I was like, there's nothing here. Yeah. It's like a mild discomfort. And most of the discomfort was because my nose was stuffed with these sponges. Yeah. Yeah. And tubes that give you like plastic straws that poke out of the bottom of your nose and it's dripping down onto the upper lip. Yeah. But it wasn't that bad. It was barely a problem. Yeah. Well, look, I think they just give them out and people now we're so used to also, we're really comfortable to taking whatever is going to make us check out for a minute. Yes. That's the reality. That's the reality. That's the reality. And that's what you have guys like Ryan Holiday. Did he come on here? Yeah. Where you have guys that are taught that talk a lot about like that moment where you choose between what's comfortable. Yeah. Or what is easy. And this other like more long-term thing, what is the long-term. Yeah. And we've just gotten very used to taking that easy thing. Yeah. And it's just, some of that is also just us getting acclimated to technology and advancements and a lot of those things are good for us. And so we're used to that, you know. Well, a lot of people have a really hard time delaying gratitude. Yeah. Which is why they overeat. Oh, yeah. Which is why they don't exercise, which is why they take pills. They want it now. Jerking off even. Yeah. The number one. Is that your number one? I mean, it has definitely for my twenties. Do you try not to look at porn? Yeah. How does that go? I mean, it's gone better. If I'm real honest with you. I'll say this though. I do believe and a lot, there's probably a lot of men that if you lay on your back and master it, you've done this. I like how you just pointed at them. Yeah. Where you're going. If you lay on your back and jerk off with your legs in the air. You keep saying this. Have you actually, I saw somebody drew it somewhere and I saw someone drew it. Diagram. This is the gayest thing ever. I'm just saying about feet up in the air. Whack it off. You guys need to get your lives together. Yeah, we do. I'm learning from you. You guys, please tell me more. You guys have changed a lot. I'm just saying if we could decipher the wind, we would figure all this out. Maybe, maybe it's the earth itself is trying to give us messages. I got a video for you guys. What's this? What is Biden doing? He fell down again. Yeah. Is this today? Yeah. Okay. I can't. I can't anymore. Well, here's a sad thing, man. I can't. I say this because look, my dad was 70 when I was born. My dad was an old man. Yeah. So I grew up around a lot of environments where sometimes people would take advantage of my dad because he was old. But he just fell. He didn't even fall for a reason. Right. But it's just not fair. At a certain point, you can't. It's not cool to old people to do that to them. No. He doesn't know this is happening to him. Yeah, but he kind of does and he's kind of a cunt. Well, that could be true, but he doesn't know. He's always been a cunt though. If you go back and listen to that guy lying about his education record and lying about his accomplishments and like, he's always been a problem. Yeah. Politician and pilot that whole, it's a fucking. And also all the fucking stuff with his son and the ties to Ukraine and China and the money, the family, they got paid millions of dollars. And everyone's trying to obscure it because, well, it's better than Trump, better than Trump. If that guy was a Republican, they would be up his ass with a microscope. I know it is unbelievable. But he represents the, what they thought was like a sane alternative to what President Trump was. Yeah. They thought, this is insane. Donald Trump is the president. Fuck that. Anything's better than him. And so they went with this corrupt career politician. Yeah. I mean, it's wild stuff, man. They even got the FBI involved in telling Twitter to censor the information about the laptop. It's crazy. But how do we get out of that space? How do we, because we're starting to turn into one of those kind of like, uh, central American countries where the government is so compro, like it's crazy. It used to be a long time ago. Like if the secrets of our country got out, like during Watergate or whatever, right, people were like, fuck no. But now if the secrets get out, people are like, fuck yes. Tell us what's going. You know what I'm saying? It's interesting how that's kind of changed. Like before it would be like, if any like top secret documents, whatever were released, it would seem like, um, uh, wrong. Well, but now if they're released, we're, we want to know what it is. It's like, does that make any sense? Well, when was top secret documents released that are showing that someone is behaving in a nearly illegal way or it's bad. I mean Watergate, that was what Watergate was all about. Yeah. They found out that Nixon was spying. I mean, I think the problem is that first of all, the media is overwhelmingly left leaning. And if you have a left leaning politician or a left wing democratic politician, and then you have this media that essentially works to support that person, I mean, they, they ignore any information that leads to distrust in the government or distrust in this administration or distrust in this, this party, this political party. Yeah. It's a dark arts, man. It is the dark. That is, that's the real dark arts. It really is. And you know what, what I think one thing that we need, I think would be nice. What if there, I wish there, there was a, an app, right? And everybody has an app idea, but I wish there was an app where when you went to a business, you could tell where they put their political money, right? So then it would start to affect the bottom lines of companies. So then those companies would stop, because I think you have to get busy. Well, a little of that's going on right now with all the woke shit. Like Target lost billions of dollars because they tried to have this pride selection. Oh yeah. Gay mannequins. Yeah. They, they, well, they had all these like pride children's shirts and. Gay children. Yeah. And then obviously the Bud Light thing with Dylan Mulvaney, they've lost 20 plus billion dollars. You imagine you're just going to send a fucking can to some confused person that, uh, day 365 of womanhood. And you send that person a fucking can with their face on and your company loses $20 billion. That is wild shit, man. So we're seeing that now where we never saw that before, where people are going enough, enough, stop shoving this down everybody's throat. When I go to Target, I don't want to see like fucking tuck pants where you like, they're designed to help you tuck your dick. Like, Hey, that's not normal. I don't want that right in front of everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to see a diaper for a baby where they can hide his dick under him or whatever. Yeah. I don't think they have those, but they will soon. Yeah, they might, but there's a lot of just fucking real weirdness with this group of people that is trying to like change the way people view sexuality and gender and all these different, it's like they're, they're proselytizing. It's not as simple as their. You would stop that at the, I would think you would stop that. Say if they had an application where I could say, okay, I'm going to go buy coffee. I'm going to go buy a hat. I'm going to buy a corset, whatever I want to get. And I can look on this app first. I'm just picturing you with a cup of coffee, a hat, and a corset. I do. I picture you buck naked. A little corset on. I'm drinking a cup of coffee with a hat on. I'm fully close. You've changed. You fucking changed. You got the fucking wrong idea, dude. What's in these? You got, yeah, you got a sip of that. Get yourself right. But if there was an app though, that's what I want with an app where I say, if I've support this company, right? With my money, what does that company support? Because then I think you're going to get a lot of people are going to be able to support, at least put their money where their beliefs are. I think there's a thing like that. There's like, uh, there's an app that shows like America, like supported America apps. But you need an even one. You need one that's like, but for both, you need one that's down the middle, you know? Well, there's a lot of companies now that are like really emphasizing American made. Yeah. One of these melodause are American made. I'm a part of a company called Origin and Origin produces, they make everything in America, everything they make except for like, it's like one or two items that they, they're very transparent about it. Like some of the parts of the soul of the shoot, the boots that they make these handmade boots are made in South America. But everything else, all the fabric, all the thread, all the workers, all the machines, everything is made in America. They make a hunting gear. They make, uh, they make these great stretchy jeans that you can wear. They make great handmade boots, like real high quality stuff. They make jiu-jitsu geese. Origin, check out Origin. They're the shit. It's all American made. Jocko's a big part of it. He's the one who brought me in on the company. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cam Haynes is a part of the company now too. This is the first American made hunting apparel company because even though hunting is like this great American pastime, a lot of the clothing that you're making that they're making is made from China. A lot of the textiles, a lot of the stuff is made from China. I went turkey hunting. I saw. Since I saw you last, man. Yeah. Who did you go with? This guy, Michael Waddell. That's right. Michael Waddell. Michael Waddell's a legend. Yeah. He knows the shit, man. He's a fun dude. Oh, he's a really fun guy. He was great on the Meat Eater podcast with Steve Rinella. Oh yeah? Yeah. He was great. He's just, he's very entertaining to be around. Very entertaining. Yeah. Me and this guy, Caleb Presley went and we was just, everybody's chasing those gobblers. That's what they call them. Yeah. Did you get one? No. Well, what happened was we saw them, right? We did the, we waited two mornings. We didn't get one. Then we're leaving, right? We're driving out and they're all like, the game's over, the hunt's over, right? You see some turkeys by the side of the road and they were just like, they were like in the locker room after the game. Like it's over, right? One of them has a towel on his neck. One of them's fucking texting his wife, right? Like they're fucking chilling, you know? And, uh, This is you sneaking up on them? No, this is my buddy Caleb shot one. Oh, okay. So you didn't want to get one. So tell me what happened with the ones that were on the side of the road. Yeah, they snuck up on them right here, dude. I mean, they got, they're having lunch like they, it was, Oh, so this is the ones that were on the side of the road. Yeah, they fucking snuck up on something that were in the locker room, bro. The game was over and fucking killed one of them. No, that's how it goes. The game is always on. Well, see, as long as it's the season's open, the game is on. And that's what I guess I realized. Yeah. Every now and then you catch one slipping. Yeah. Oh, they caught, they took this Turkey. They re I mean, it's whole head disappeared. Turkey hunting is like elk hunting in the way where you're trying to get them closer to you. You're calling them in. That's why people, one of the things that people like about it. So exciting. And the, the Turkey's like, is that pussy? Yeah. Do I hear pussy? Like they have these, uh, Turkey decoys and they set these Turkey decoys up. They wouldn't let me hold the gun either. They wouldn't. Why not? They said it was some issue. What was the issue? I'm not sure. We should take you hog hunting. Oh, I want to do it where you get to do it with actual hands on. You do want to do that? Yeah. You know, they use dogs with that. That's fine. The dogs hold the pig down and you want up and stab it. I'm so not interested in that. I've been offered to do that too. If we pray first, I would do it. Why would that help? Just to fucking make it even, you know, I just want to at least let God know what I'm doing. I think God knows what you're doing. You're out there killing pigs. Well pigs are one of the best animals to hunt because they are absolutely an invasive species that has to be controlled. And I don't like pigs. I'll say that. Yeah. Um, I kind of like them. I like them when they're domesticated, but that's not a real pig. Yeah. Like pigs are a weird animal, man. If you let them go, like you take a domesticated pig and you let it go within six weeks, they start to transform. Their snout extends their hair changes. It gets bigger and bushier. Their tusks grow. Like werewolves. Yeah. Like a wild pig that you see is essentially a domestic pig that got wild. They're the same animal. That's what's crazy. Wow. You know, there's different versions of them, but that's the same animal. Damn. Yeah. It's now called Suscrapha. It's the same genus. That's the whole group called Suscrapha. Yeah. I would love to have some real wild fucking bacon. Do they have boar bacon? It's not, it's hard to get bacon off of a wild pig because they're not as fat, but agriculture pigs, like pigs that steal from farms, you can get bacon off of them because, you know, they're, they're eating people's crops and fattening up. Some of them are fat as fuck and acorns. Sometimes you get, I shot one that had eaten a lot of acorns and there was like an acorny smell to the fat. Oh my God. They're delicious. Me and John Dudley, we went pig hunting in Tohon Ranch. I shot this pig and we cooked it on the Traeger. Oh my God. It was sensational. It was so good. That sounds good. We, we, we slow smoked it on a Traeger. Oh, this fall off the bone. It was delicious. God, I will fucking want. So good. I love some moist and delicious. I love that. But you got to cook pigs like to a high temperature to avoid trichinosis, especially wild pigs. Really? Yeah. And what is trichinosis? It has what? Spiders? No, trichinosis is like a parasite and most, it's really weird, but I think 90% of the cases of trichinosis in North America are from bear, from people eating bear because they just don't cook it enough. You have to cook bear like you cook bacon. You got to cook it all the way. And then what, when you get like store bought bacon or store bought ham, even, you don't have to cook it as much as they used to make it cook it because these animals never come in contact with trichinosis because they don't have, they're not free range animals. Yeah. They're just babies hiding in like a, basically a little farm or something. They get it from eating animals that have it. So if you get trichinosis, you keep trichinosis for your whole life. And if you died and somebody ate you, they would get trichinosis and they didn't cook you. What if you have a child, can a, is it, can you transfer it through DNA? That's a good question. I don't know the answer.