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Duncan Trussell is a stand-up comedian, voice actor, and host of “The Duncan Trussell Family Hour.” He will perform live April 9–11 at Zanies Comedy Club Rosemont in Rosemont, Illinois. Tickets are on sale now. https://rosemont.zanies.com/show/category/series/2026-duncan-trussell/zanies-comedy-club-rosemont/rosemont-illinois/ www.youtube.com/@duncantrussellfamilyhour www.patreon.com/dtfh www.duncantrussell.com
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A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, writings
Jonathan Waldman, Rust: The Longest War
Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage
Tom O’Neill, Chaos: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties
If life wasn't real it'd be the craziest psychedelic trip ever - Joe Rogan
To watch later... or never
The greatest JRE guest
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it's hilarious that your biggest concern was getting stuff in your beard and me
not telling
you about it. You've got a strange one going on, man, because you're kind of
like trimming the
sides a little bit and then you're puffing out here in sort of a bow tie
fashion. You're looking
at this struggle between who I was and who I am. Why am I doing this? It's the
pandemic. I got like,
let the pandemic beard go all the way. And yet there's still this sense of like,
we've got to keep civilization. What's next? If it goes all the way up, what's
going to start
happening? I'm already gardening now. What's next? Where does it go? How crazy
can you go in a
compound? Now that you're a father and this craziness went down and your
protection instincts,
protective instincts kick in, have you been thinking about moving elsewhere?
Yeah. I mean,
yeah, I was thinking about that. Like Asheville? Yep. We've thought Asheville.
Asheville's nice.
We've thought Georgia. We've thought, you know, it's a constant consideration,
especially when you
have a kid. And aside from like apocalyptic prepper bullshit, there's just a
general feeling of like,
you know, I think if I were a little boy, I would want to be in a place where
there's creeks and
places I could run and like woods and forests and like stuff like that. So
there's that consideration
too. God, I hope my wife isn't listening to this because she's always like,
maybe we should move
somewhere in the country. And I'm like, we got to stay in LA. We got to stay
here now, now, especially
it's like, well, do we? And like, well, Duncan, you now have a successful
Netflix show number two in
the country on IMDb. On Rotten Tomatoes. Whatever it is. Yeah. Same thing. And
I don't know what that
means necessarily, but yeah, yeah, it's true. I can't believe it. Yeah. Is IMDb
even TV shows?
It's internet movie database? Is it? I'm not sure what it is. It's like, IMDb
is odd, but yeah.
You're a successful show. I guess right now it seems like people like it. It is
so weird,
dude. Your show is so weird. Yeah, man. Yeah. It's so Duncan. It's the most
Duncan thing you've
ever done. Yes, it is. It really is great. I got lucky that they let me do that
too. You know,
that's cause they, that's cause Netflix, you know, tell people the name of it
real quick.
It's called the Midnight Gospel. And, um, you know, I've watched some of your
episodes where you're
talking about the way things are changing because a podcast or streaming or
whatever. And I think like
the fact that the show exists is a testament to that shit, that change because
that, you know,
a subscription-based service versus like, uh, any old TV, they've got a lot
more creative freedom
and they, they, they could take bigger risks than, you know, coming into a,
look at that.
Yeah.
The keyboard with the fucking witch hat. Oh my God. That's so crazy. That's so
Duncan.
Yeah. And, and, and it's like Pendleton Ward who made Adventure Time. He, he
listens to my podcast
and he just, I don't know, we had a really great collaboration and he, that's a
lot of Pendleton
and it's a lot of like 150 other people at Titmouse Studios, uh, like Jesse Moynihan,
like
just these brilliant people like Mike Mayfield who are like, who just want to
look also, by the
way, as non sequitur or is when we were making it at Titmouse, one of the
really weird
weird things was walking by an animator and they're watching your podcast while
they animate
the midnight gospel. You know, it's one of those weird, it's not like a deja vu,
but it's
like, that's my friends. That's, you know, that, that's just so many odd
moments like that.
But yeah, that's not just, that's whenever you see any animated thing, you're
looking at
a squadron of brilliant eccentric artists. Or Asian slaves. Yeah. A lot of
people don't
know that they send it overseas and we, they didn't send ours. They let us do
it in house.
That's so nice to know you're not supporting Asian slavery. Is it really slaves?
I don't know
if it's slaves, but I mean, if you're working for five cents an hour and you
live there, you know,
there's, there's people that live in bunks. If you, you've seen those, those
setups where
they have for some of the cell phone factories where they have bunk beds and
shit. These people
just live in these dorms. Yeah. You know, the Foxconn thing with the net all
around the building
to keep people from jumping off. Like, yeah, they, they're bait. I mean, they're
not slave slaves.
Is Foxconn Chinese? Yes. It's actually a very good company. The best company
ever?
I'm just saying that like how some people think I'm a Chinese shill or
something. Like how this
is out of practice. How long before someone gets one of those animation things
tattooed all
over their body? It's going to happen for sure. Someone's going to do their
whole back with
that DJ. I know, man. Go to that picture again. That actually would look pretty
dope. If you,
uh, if you do get that done, shout me out on the Instagram and I'll find it.
Thank you. Yeah.
Somebody tweeted at me that my biggest decision of 2020 is going to be when do
I get a tattoo of
Clancy on my body, which is pretty awesome. That's Clancy? The one with the hat?
That's Clancy.
Yeah. That looks like a Clancy. That's a Clancy for sure. Yeah. That's
hilarious, dude. That's a,
that someone is getting that for sure. Yeah. I, I, I mean, it's, it's the art.
These, these are the
folks who worked on this, man. We're talking like, these are like, that's the
fan art already.
Some of the fan art is just amazing. This is fan art already? That's fan art.
Yeah. That's fan art.
People have been drawing Clancy in all these different ways. It's so cool, man.
Go to that one above it to the left, Jamie. Yeah. That's from the show.
That looks like it could be a back tattoo. Yeah, that would be awesome.
Just a giant back tattoo of Clancy. I mean, when like doing animation and you
know, I'll never be able to
look, even if, if, if, if, if an animated series, if I don't like it or if the
plot's weird to me or
whatever, I'll never be able to be like, whatever, man. When you realize how
much and how many people
go into like, have to do just one frame, how much time goes into just a
milliseconds and how many people
are sitting in these rooms that are lit specifically. So you see all the colors
having like real deep
conversations and debates over like, you know, what color they should make a
pizza cutter in the show.
Like how, like what should the shade of gray be for this one specific area?
So much thought goes into that. And that's part of making one of these things.
It's, it's called
the dailies where you'll sit and you'll watch tiny, tiny little bits of the
show. And like, you have to,
this every single frame, you have to look for continuity problems. And like,
you got to catch
all these little things that I, you know, I'm not an animator, obviously. So I'd
be sitting there and
like Pendleton or Mike Mayfield would be like, can you go back two frames? It
looks to me like there's
a, these like have an animator language, you know, they're like, looks to me
like, uh, uh, there's some
kind of warble on the 28th, uh, pixel there. And you're like, what the fuck?
Whoa. And they can't,
they have the eye to catch like the tiniest, tiniest, like tiniest thing that's
off. And you have
to, cause otherwise, you know, once it's up there, it's up there. Jesus. I know
it's, it's, it's literal
magic. It's like Titmouse Studios who did that is like, you know, I would go in
there so stoned and I
would just start getting that feeling of like, this is a temple. I don't think
this is even a,
you could call this a studio as much as it's a temple. I mean, why, why wouldn't
you call it a
temple? And then you see all these people, you know, focusing their life energy
on essentially like
bringing a thing to life. Like Clancy is alive now. That's a living being in
some, in this universe
who lives, you know, in that medium of animation. That's a good way to put it,
right? Yeah. It almost
seems like that, right? That's why people get so upset. If you change a
character's behavior,
like, what are you doing? Yeah. You have this thing, you gave birth to this
thing. Yeah,
that's right. You, and that, that is also why you need a huge team of people
who love,
love the characters. Cause it's easy. Like there'd be times I would suggest a
thing
that would make Clancy seem like too mean. Cause he's not mean. You don't like
the moment
a character seems like that. No, like it loses all like ability. People are
like, what a
fuck? You know, he's alive to you. You're like, he's, he's not mean. He is
alive. You're like,
it's like, you're talking about your, your brother or something. He's like my
little brother.
I think of him as my little brother. Yeah. He represents you in a weird way.
There's something about what they captured. Go, go to, go to that image again.
Just give me, don't give me the one with his head and a vagina. Give me the one
with him.
There's something about one of the first couple of images that you pulled up.
They, they look like you. Yeah, man. And I don't mean they look like you. I
mean like,
yeah, Duncan's thoughts. That's a Duncan thought. You know what I mean? Like he
looks like a fake
guy that you would create. Like it kind of perfectly fits. I don't, I, that,
that is another
of the magical aspects of animation. Yeah. Which is, I don't know how they do
that. Like the, the,
the spoiler, spoiler. If you haven't seen it, put your fingers in your ears.
Spoiler. I'm sorry
if this is a spoiler. Uh, the last ep, well, it's not too much of a sport. The
last episode
is the podcast I did with my mom when she was about three, three weeks away
from passing on. And,
uh, you know, they'd never met my mom and, but they did the exact same thing
with her.
So suddenly I'm watching, you know, her, like not her, like I'm looking at a
video of her,
but looking at her, like her, like they got her spirit in there somehow. And
that was one that,
that is just a testament to the meat, to the medium of animation. Cause they,
that's one of the things that can do, you know, it can grab a spirit and hold
it inside the art.
And like that spirit is alive somehow. Somehow. Right. Yeah.
I agree with you in some weird way. It's like, I wouldn't agree with you in a
technical sense,
but in a sense of like, well, it is affecting the things that comes in contact
with,
at least through a one way dimension, right? Like the, the things it says hit
people,
the animation, it seems like it's a living thing. I know it's not, I'm not
stupid.
I'm not that stupid. Yeah. I'm a little stupid, but it seems like you, well,
it's not biologically alive for sure. It's sort of like, there's, there's an
art to doing that,
that we maybe don't know. Cause we're not, I mean, I, I used to draw a little,
but I'm not really good. You know what I mean? Like a really good artist.
There's something that they can do where they just can kind of capture you in
like a little symbol,
like a little thing, a little character, but they capture you in there somehow.
Yeah, man. That's, you know, Pendleton, like when you, he'll, you, when you
watch him draw,
it's would be easy to think, man, I could totally do that. Cause I'd watch him,
you know, you,
I just, you know, we would, you would just draw and you watch these beautiful,
these drawings that are just Pendleton. There's his art, you know? And like,
then I would see that and be like, ah, maybe I'll try to draw a little Pendleton.
And then it's like,
what the hand? I can't do it. Cause it's so simple. Like on one level, it looks
so,
what's so powerful about it is how simple it is. It's very similar to stand up,
uh,
the way Pendleton is treating working on the show, which is one of the cool
things about him is like
his ability to cut the fat and get right to the like simple point. That's where
the power is when
you're drawing something or telling a story or whatever, the more complexity
that gets added to
it, not to say the show, it doesn't have like chaos and wild psychedelic stuff,
but
any decision we made ended up like any decision you make creatively in anything,
it's like,
what am I trying to say? Like, what is, what is the, the artery that is running
through this,
that I'm trying to express and then, uh, getting as close to that as you can,
uh, and then, and
putting it out there without, cause otherwise you, the whole thing gets blurred
by all the,
um, I guess you could say like extra bells and whistles you might want to
attach to it. You know,
that's something you taught me too is stand up, man. Like how important it is
to just like
cut, just trim the fat, trim the fat. And that's a sad thing to do with comedy.
When you think you
got a nice eight minute bit, it's like a two minute, maybe, but you, you know,
it's stretched out too
wide. Yeah. But the, the, the two minutes would be great though. That's the
thing. You just have to,
you have to understand that you're, you're growing attached to, you know, the
writer's expression,
kill your babies. Yeah. It's very difficult to kill your babies when you create
something. It's for,
you can get attached to it. There's a lot of bits that I left on the table,
left on the cutting room
floor. I was like, this has to be chopped up. It just is too wordy. I'm too
verbose. It's too this,
it's too that it's too long. Why do I think so much about this? Why I'm not
showing a real reason
why I'm so connected to this. So I just chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. It's
hard, but it almost
always works better. Always. Almost always. Almost always. Almost always. If it
doesn't, it's not,
whatever your idea was, probably wasn't that good. Sometimes you need a setup
though. Sometimes the
setup isn't funny. Like there's guys, it's not my style, but there's guys that'll
tell a lot, like
Berbiglia is great at it. Tells stories, you know, like there's an, you're, you're
entrapped in the
narrative of the story. You're capturing this. It's a very different thing. It's
equally entertaining.
It's equally funny. Like when it gets to the punchline, but there's a
difference between that
and say like Burr, right? Burr is hitting you with fucking punchline and this
fucking guy with a thing
and the ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba. And he's another guy that like your friend's drawing,
like you would hear
Burr talk and you go, well, I can talk too. Seems like he's just talking. Yeah.
You don't realize
this is like a, a masterpiece of, of syllables and pauses and the right amount
of outrage and
segueing it in and hitting you with this at the end and all these things that
have put it together
that make a great Bill Burr bit. It's like, if you don't know, it's hard to
draw what he's drawn.
Yeah. It's hard. It seems like it's simple lines, but go, go to that picture
again.
Like the, everything is beautiful about it. Like look at the perspective. It's
like the kids
perfectly sandwiched in the front. There's the dog and the triangle in the
world. It's like,
that's not just, it's simple in the sense that it's just not like it looks like
a real person.
Yeah. You know, like we look at drawing sometimes like as the realistic ones
are the really good
ones. Like we have cameras now. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just this to me, sometimes it's
more interesting.
It's like, you're drawing some that's definitely not real. Yeah. Well that, you
know what,
that's not that. So when we were coming up with that, that we had to come up
with a character.
And so what's really fascinating about it is, you know, this character goes
into a multiverse
simulator and chooses a new avatar for every place that he goes. So it's like,
he, so you have to take that
character and put it in a completely different drawing that is that character
and still maintain
the body language that you're maintaining in that character to produce
continuity.
That's one of the challenges of the show is like, and also the conversations
you end up having just
to come up with like, um, the, you know, the kit, his hat or his, what's he
going to wear? Like,
for example, here's how cool Penn is and how much he loves like people who love
adventure time
is one of the things he's saying is, you know, people are probably going to
want to cosplay Clancy
at comic-con and stuff. And, and he doesn't have anything, he doesn't have
anything to carry
anything. He doesn't have pockets. So if people are cosplaying him, they're not
going to have anywhere
they could put their stuff. So we should, let's give him like a bag. And so Clancy
ended up with
his cool bag that he carries around. Oh my God. Yeah. For the cosplay.
Yeah, man. For the people. Respect to the streets. Yeah, exactly. That, that.
Cause that's the,
the world of animation and comics, man. Listen, man, it's really easy to make
fun of cosplay,
but that's adorable. That's a, that's a beautiful thing. Where's the bag? Oh,
there it is.
Joe, let me tell you something. If you didn't make fun of cosplay,
I would be worried about you. It would be like, I'd be like, are you all right,
Joe?
Yeah. They can't be mad at it either. You can't be mad if you're dressing like
Ultraman,
if someone's shitting on you. You can't be mad. They understand it. You have to
take it.
But then when, have you ever been to comic-con? No.
Dude, when you're around someone who's actually put that together and you
realize how detailed it is,
you respect will go up regardless of like thinking, I would, I don't think I'd
ever do it. When you see
someone who's like, looks better than the version of Spider-Man that is, you
know, Marvel's putting
out, it's a little, it's amazing to watch that happen. That, that kind of
contagion too, of like,
you know, again, obviously Clancy isn't alive, but I, you know, we had this
chat last time I was on,
which I really love is this, the origination point of ideas. Yeah. Where do
ideas come from?
Ideas is the alien. Ideas is the UFO. The muse. The muse. Yeah. And so to me,
uh, in my more stone
states, when I consider this, this show represents over a hundred people
connecting and the connection
in between those people channeled this universe, I do think like, maybe Clancy
is alive. Maybe
it's a channeled thing. Maybe there is a place in the multiverse like this or
something like this.
And then where it got really weird is people started sending me their art from
like images that they had
drawn on dimethyltryptamine or ketamine and stuff that has within it
similarities. And I've obviously never
seen their art where you're like, but let me ask you this. Sure. It, as
television, as viewing things
gets more complicated and as it gets more immersive, it, it's going to come to
a point in time somewhere
where you're going to think Clancy's alive. And what you're experiencing when
you watch Clancy,
what if it's, what if the way we're looking at life is wrong? What if we should
just look at it like a
thing instead of life, a thing? So there's a thing that you do where you drink
water and you grow
plants in the dirt. And this is a thing that exists only when the people press
a box and the box goes
live and it shows a video and then the thing only exists in there. But you go,
well, it's not alive
because it needs animators to make it. And someone has to come up with the idea
for the storyline.
And it needs a studio to fund it. Uh huh. Right. And you need bacteria. You
need food. Yeah. You need
oxygen. You need water. There's a bunch of living organisms inside your body
that are 100% necessary
for you keeping going in a regular life, driving your Tesla, listening to music.
You, there's a bunch of
other things that you're not one thing. Right. We all know this, right? This is
what this whole virus
thing is about. Yeah. We got infected by another thing, but we're not one thing.
Right. There's a bunch
of things inside of us. And if those things died, we would be fucked. Yeah.
Right. If all the bacteria in
your body died, you would be fucked. Fucked. And you'd be so vulnerable to
attack from the outside. Yeah.
Right. Yeah. So you, you, we need all these things. Maybe it needs us and it
exists in that thing.
Wow. That's so weird, man. Yeah. I mean, I'm telling you, I, I am, I, I think
it sounds crazy.
It sounds really hot. It's yeah. And you know, it does to me, it's not that
crazy. I mean, look,
if you want to like take it to like, okay, forget all the shit about channeling
some alien realm into this
realm through, you know, the disguise, the TV show, whatever. Let's just look
at like what we know is
going to happen regarding technology. There's no question, but that, I mean,
already somebody
made a Clancy in Minecraft and I saw a picture of that. So that's Clancy is now
existing in 3d space
and some Minecraft blocky version of that. Oh my God. But then of course, as
time progresses,
you know, the, the chromatic ribbon or any great animated series, Castlevania,
whatever,
Gravity Falls, all those things, they're going to end up getting put into 3d
space in virtual reality.
And then, and then those worlds are going to be real, but now it's going to be
more than just 2d.
It's going to be a virtual space that is going to be real. And then of course,
it's only a matter of
time before AI just decide, like understands the character of Clancy animates
the, the virtual Clancy,
Clancy in the simulated space. And now the chromatic ribbon is real. And then
at some point,
when does it, when is it just going to be accepted that, oh yeah, that's a part
of the universe now
that's inhabited by artificial intelligences, which we don't call that anymore.
Cause you know,
at some point it's going to be considered off limits to call them artificial
intelligence.
Like, right. It's going to be a dirty word. It's going to be like calling
someone a tranny.
They're going to get mad. They're going to be like, don't please, please. I'm
an intelligence just
like you. I'm not artificial. I'm not artificial in the way you think.
I was just birthed through a different method.
Yeah. That, that, yeah, that's, that's a matter of time. Cause I also already
know people in like
the tech world who think the term AI is ridiculous in the sense of like, what
do you mean? It's
artificial. Like what's really artificial? Like you could say this is
artificial sweetener in the
sense that it's not actual strawberry juice, but it's certainly real as real
could be. It's just a
chemical compound. So intelligence, you have an artificial tree. That's a fake
tree. I mean,
it's a, but it's an object that exists, you know? I mean, yeah, that's if you
think the,
but that's a, it's still the right word though. Artificial is still the right
word.
It would be, you'd, you'd, you'd want to use non-existent or something.
Dude, they're going to play this in the future and you're done. They're going
to be like,
look at that. Joe Rogan refuses to say AI phobic. Yeah. It's, it's going to
happen, man. It's like,
and also the thing is the, the AI is, I think the AI is probably not going to
give a what we call it,
but like the, when that starts happening, which it may already be happening,
man. I mean, I,
I don't know if you've been looking into this or not, but have you been
checking out
uh, Google achieving quantum supremacy? Have you seen this? Yes, I have. And
like,
have you watched the Google videos on YouTube about it at all? Like the stuff
Google's putting out?
I haven't. What are they putting out? Oh my God. It is so wild, man. And like,
when I was at the comedy store, a guy from Google, I got in a conversation with
someone from Google,
which is awesome. And he was telling me that they, this is like six months ago.
He was telling me that
this is before, obviously before the pandemic, he was saying that they had
achieved,
um, what do you call it? Uh, quantum supremacy. And he was like, people, this
is like the Wright
brothers taking flight, but nobody can understand it. Cause it's so arcane that
no, it's not getting
the press it should get. But he was, you know, and then I was like, I don't
have one too many, uh,
vodkas, man. So I, I wish I could remember all they were saying. Cause he was
trying to describe to me
what it means regarding how quickly this thing is making calculations. And I
was like being like,
yeah, of course I understand exactly what you're saying. But I was like, I have
no idea what you're
talking about, dude. Did you know that that word came under fire? The, the, the
term quantum
supremacy because of its, uh, connection to white supremacy? Are you fucking
kidding? I'm not
kidding you. It was an object of social justice warrior outrage. I don't, you
know, here's the thing.
Here's my theory on that. Let me tell you, here's my theory on that. Russians.
It's the Russians.
These are real people. I don't think it's, I think it's, it's worse than the
Russians.
I think what it is, is it somebody trying to come with it up on the angle to
write a blog that they
could sell to somebody. It's like, you need to come up with some weird hot take,
right? So it's like,
I think more than likely that's just somebody thinking like, I bet people will
read that,
you know, because clearly whoever is comparing that to white supremacy or
racism, didn't spend
four minutes watching the Google clip on it, where people are explaining what
it means, which, you know,
I'm watching it on the couch with my wife. She's getting weirded out. She's
like, let's just not
watch this. I just, maybe we shouldn't watch this. I'm like, no, let's fucking
watch it. Let's go deep
and see what the, the white videos that start suggesting for us to, because it's
not like Google's
being secretive about what the, what they did. It's just, it's so weird. I don't
think people are like,
and right now, I guess people are a little more concerned with other shit right
now, but, but one
of the engineers over at Google just was saying like, you know, I think one of
the things I'm excited
about when it comes to quantum supremacy is that this could be one of the
technologies that allows us to
discover an alien intelligence. Just, you know, kind of casually mentions that.
I mean, yeah, it's on the
YouTube video. It's the, you're watching it and you keep, you keep looking up
to make sure it's actually
released from Google because you, it seems so sci-fi that it could be like
black mirror or some
shit, but it's, yeah, it's like, it's like, they're just saying it like, yeah,
we might, you know, we
might connect to an alien. We might be able to at least identify it, or maybe
they mean because they're
going to be able to sift through all the data we already have from radio
telescopes and stuff that
they could maybe look for signals that we can't find or I don't know. How would
they? Maybe something
they could tune into things that they wouldn't ordinarily have the frequency to
reach?
Yeah, man. I don't know. Or be able to tune into that frequency rather. Like,
what can they do
now in terms of, I was watching contact the other night, which is great. Yeah.
I forgot how good it was.
It's great movie. Jodie Foster can act her fucking ass off, man. She plays
nervous and freaked out
better than like anybody alive. Like you're freaked out for her in that movie.
Yeah.
I'm good to go. I'm good to go. And she's about to drop through that thing. Oh,
Jesus Christ.
Holy fuck, dude. We've all felt that before. That movie's amazing. Yes.
After the third hit, when you put the pipe down, you'll go, oh, no.
And the DMT chants start happening. I know that feeling. It's such a funny
feeling.
Yeah. That feeling is the best, worst feeling that I know. Maybe that's the
aliens. I've thought
that many times when tripping in the middle of having some sort of like really
vivid interaction
with some intelligence or with some perceived intelligence. Yeah. I've always
thought,
what if those are the aliens? What if we're just stuck in this idea that travel
is you got to move
this to there. You got to move this to there. Yeah. What if you just go into
another thing and
everything's together? There is no travel. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
maybe this concept of
planets and then stars and the way we have it set up here in this dimension, in
this universe,
we just think that's how everything is. Everything is, well, there's a star and
there's planets around
it. What if you can go into a place chemically that takes you to a nearby
dimension where there's no
matter, where there's no form to things and everything that exists is just
thoughts and light and
perception and emotions and anger and fear and love and hate. And it's all
moving in geometry and
everything's lit up. Yeah. And everything's impossibly bright and vivid. Yeah.
Maybe that's just like
another place you go to. Well, they used to call it the spirit world. Yeah. I
mean,
that was the name for it. It was just accepted. There was like a place called
the spirit world.
Some people call it the bardo. There's all kinds of names for that place. But
you know,
what if that's real? It is. I mean, it is obviously real in the sense that you
can go there,
not only can you go there, but there's a, you know, visionary artists, when you
look at the art that has been
inspired by various entheogens. It all has a specific flavor to it. Alex Gray
is the best example, right?
Yeah. Alex and Allison, man, they like art. They're art. You look at that and
the reason that one of the
reasons it resonates for people like us is because we admire the fact that
somehow they managed to go over
there and come back and draw what's over there in a way that we saw that. But
we, you know, when I came
out of it, it's like, well, you know, it's undulating colors and there's some
kind of disembodied
intention that seems to be expressing itself through a variety of geometries.
But it's not just geometries,
because the geometry seem to react to the way that I feel regarding the
geometry. So it's also kind of
taking on the form of my energy output as though it's trying to be a combo
mirror, but not just a
mirror, an educational mirror that sort of is showing me how I'm affecting the
world around me. But then
again, I'm just not sure if I was just super high, but they just, you know, but
they like go in there.
And Alex Gray said this to me once that, you know, they're cartographers. It's
just, yeah, yeah,
cartographers. Psychedelic cartographer would be a great name for a band.
Yeah. Yeah, man, for sure. Cartography is fascinating because you go back and
look at the old maps
or you go back and look at like, my favorite thing is like old pictures of a
giraffe or like old pictures
of a, some shit somebody saw when they were- Oh yeah, like bison on the walls
of caves.
Yes, exactly. And it's like, kind of looks like a bison, but like also it's
somehow in that time
period, our brains hadn't evolved to the point they have now. So you look at
like a medieval drawing
of a giraffe or whatever, when someone, or something someone saw in the crusades
and came back and tried
to like explain to somebody. And like, it looks exactly like the way your
description of getting
completely blasted on psilocybin probably looks compared to what you saw. It's
a downgraded,
weird version of it. And so, you know, people like Alex and Allison or Terrence
McKenna,
you know, they're so good at going into that place and maintaining some kind of
like long-term
memory that they can come back and fully articulate it in a way that we, as
people who've been there,
know what it is. And then there's something comforting in that because that
does point to the
idea that this is a place. We're not just mashing down the watch or we're not
just distorting
our biotechnology. This is a shared place. We're all seeing the same thing. Now
that could be a
synaptic place that just, or a genetic place that happens to be in humans or
something. You know, we'll never be able
to answer that probably in our lifetimes, but to me it's regardless, it's still
a place. And to get back
to what you were saying about our current concept of travel, you know, or our
current idea that,
well, I need to get my meat body over here because if I don't, that means I'm
there. And you know,
that's how I know I've been there because I was there in my body. And then, you
know, this is like
the guy who founded the Hare Krishna's, His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada,
he would show, he would, in his writings, he would like, was derisive of the
way, the idea that people
were sending a metal ship to the moon with bodies inside of it. He would say
like, that shows where
human consciousness is right now, because they think they're their bodies. And
they think they need to
put their body in like this box and send it to the moon because they haven't
figured out yet that you
don't need metal to send yourself to anywhere in the universe that you want to
go. It just requires
yoga and discipline, you know, which is hilarious. And also, I remember reading
that and thinking like,
but I still want there to be interstellar fucking travel, man.
You know, like, I still want to get in the box and travel to the moon. That
being said, you know,
I think that you're onto something when you are contemplating right now that
maybe our idea of
going to one place or another with our meat bodies could be looked at in the
future is a little archaic.
Well, when they talk about there being different dimensions, right? Like when
they use quantum
physics to determine the number of dimensions, they've determined there's
multiple dimensions that we
don't have access to, right? Yeah. Like, is that how it works? Or am I reading
it in a dumb way?
Because I believe there is, what is like, what do they think there are? Do they
think there's
nine or 11 dimensions? Do you know? Usually when I look this up, it's 11, but
up to 26,
maybe some people even think so. Up to 26. First of all, when those dudes are
writing that
shit down on the yellow legal pads, we all have to take them, we have to take
their word for it.
Yeah, sure. Yeah. Okay. How many people know what the
fuck they're writing down on those goddamn yellow legal pads? When you see
those physics dudes and
they're doing those crazy, like... Yeah. We have to take their word for it.
So apparently mathematically, right? That's why they believe there's at least
11 dimensions.
So what does that mean? So it means we have access to some dimensions and we
don't have access to others?
Yeah. Is it theoretically that they exist? Is it possible to transverse the
distance between
this dimension and that dimension? Man, this is the thing as... I'm glad you're
asking me this because,
you know, I got my doctorate at the University of Bro Science and I can't
fully answer this question. You see, the... I don't understand it. Does it have
to do with 5G?
Don't mention that shit, dude. It's my fucking poodle. My poodle's fucked
because of 5G, man.
Like it fucked up my poodle. Like its eyes turned just both of them white and
it's like, yeah,
it froths all the time. It just froths and it's... Are you near a tower?
What? Am I near a tower? Yeah. I didn't think I was until that happened to the
poodle, but...
Like I'm just an idiot. It's got rabies.
You're blaming it on 5G. Your dog's trying to bite everything.
No, but I'll tell you this. My fucking poodle took out a mouse today.
Like the other day I was... I have a little, cute little poodle. And like this
is just a cute
creature that sits in my lap. I love this dog. But our new place... I noticed
like
mouse turds around the dog food and it sucks because you're like, damn, that
mouse is definitely
going to get through the doggy door and then we're going to have mice in the
fucking house
and that's going to be a nightmare. So anyway, I was like under a tree with my
kid and I looked down
and there's a broken body of a mouse that one of the dogs took out. It's, you
know, like just been
smashed to death. And like, I know it's brutal. I don't think my son saw it.
Thank God. I don't
think he's ready to deal with that reality that like Gatsby on, speaking of
dimensions, on the
dimension subjectively that that mouse lives in, Gatsby is a dragon. That's a
monster that lives in
the field it runs in when it's trying to get food for its kids. And it's not
even hungry. It's full.
It's a full monster. Oh, no. I saw it kill the mouse today. You know, and my
wife is like,
you got to get the mouse away from it. Don't let him torture like that. You got
to take it out of
its misery. And I'm like, all right, all right, all right. I'll like get it.
And then we'll like,
we'll like execute the mouse, you know? So I start walking over to the poodle.
That's not my
Gatsby anymore. It's killing. And it like looks, he looks at me and he's like,
growled at you? No, at the mouse, at everything, just approaching anything.
And so then he like, dude, he's like tap dancing on this mouse. And he realizes
that we're approaching
to like take his prey. And he just looks back like the American werewolf in
London and just goes
off into the shadows behind the house to finish off the mouse. And all you hear
is like,
is he's like killing the mouse, you know, that's a poodle. That poodle is the
sweetest little thing
ever. But like, it's also, I think maybe something in animals knows that like,
and there was a time
when mice were a sign that things are, they would eat your grain. They would
you up. Like you, they
spread disease. They'd on your baby. You know, they were like, they're going to
piss all over your hut.
Maybe there's something in dogs that just knows that. I mean, I don't think he's
a sociopath.
I don't think he's doing like Jeffrey Dahmer's shit where he's just like, I
wonder what sound it
makes as it dies. I think they're prey animals to dogs too, because coyotes eat
a lot of rodents.
One of the reasons why we don't have rodents, like real rodent problems that we
could like New York
City has is we have way more coyotes. Coyotes are everywhere and hawks, a lot
of birds. Those are,
those are the ones killing. So they're prey animals. The reason why they're so
prolific
and they, they grow so fast and there's so many of them is because a lot of
things eat them.
Yeah, man. Yeah. All the animals, wolves eat them. Everything that can get ahold
of them eats them.
Dogs too. And dogs are from wolves. So dogs see a mouse. They're like, I'm
eating that. Like that,
that must look like a delicious cold slice of watermelon on a hot July day. Oh
yeah.
just running across your yard when you're baked. It's a mouse. Fuck yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's a perfect
orange. You know, those oranges where sometimes the, the, the peel just comes
right free. Oh, it's so
satisfying. Like very little work. And then you bite into that orange is just
juicy. Delicious. That's that
mouse. That mouse just running. Bullshit ass mouse thinks he's going to run
through my yard. No. And eat that mouse.
That's the other thing that's really sad about it. I mean, the mouse is cute.
Like this wasn't like some
dangerous looking mouse. This mouse looked like it was like an act two of a
Disney film or something
like, you know, like this, this mouse looked like sweet. Like the mouse looked
like it could sing.
It was Patton Oswalt and Ratatouille. It was like that level of cute, man.
Oh, I know. And like, you're just, you're my heart. This is like breaking.
Cause it's like, what,
what do you do here? That being said, there's not much I could have done. You
know, it's like,
this is the way nature is. And to get back to your dimension thing, man, that
not that it's like,
literally like a physical dimension, but the reality tunnel that my poodle
lives in and that mouse lives
in is so fundamentally different than our reality tunnel that the mouse is in
the Texas Chancellor
massacre. The mouse is in the walking dead, except it's, it's like two cavalier
King Charles, a poodle
and a Chihuahua. So, but for the mouse, that's the walking dead and the mouse,
it's got to eat,
it's got to get food and every, and so it's constantly like developed this like
way that
humans would develop, which I think the walking dead did a good job of the
comics, especially
of showing the way people over time would evolve to deal with zombies and how
people would gradually,
completely like change or transform based on their predators. You know, like
the, the, the rats and
mice have done that. You know, when you see a thing that is a prey animal, you're
seeing a reflection
of the predator in the prey animal. Are you aware what's going on with rats in
New York City?
I can't fucking imagine. There's rat wars going on because the restaurants are
out of business,
right? So the restaurants closed down. So all the rats food supplies gone. So
rats have started moving
into other rats territories and killing and cannibalizing rats. Wow. Dude, rat
wars. That's
the rats. The rats didn't do anything wrong. They're just being rats. And all
of a sudden the food supply
got cut off. Holy shit, man. That, that is so intense. And that, yeah. And
think of that level
of reality. That level of reality is a level of reality that is taking place in
these, some of those tunnels
down there, man, that they don't even use them anymore. Like they have, there's
rat infested.
Yeah. Just floods of rats who have like, you know, decided that's their kingdom
or whatever that are
now being invaded. That's so weird out down. And also it's dark. Like just, it's
all smell. So like
the world of a rat down there, it's not like there's light in the subterranean
depths of New York.
So it's like their universes, there's a universe of smell. And I guess maybe
they could, I'm sure they
do see down there, but the way they see is like, who knows? So they're looking
at what, whatever
they're seeing is a completely different thing. And then they have a complete
different set of priorities.
You know, what's that show, man? It's on, it's a, it's a really beautiful, but
disgusting documentary.
I think it's called rats. Yeah. Rats. The one on Netflix. Like they send the
weak ones to eat poison.
Yeah. Yeah. That just that alone. We played a video the other day of a rat
setting off a mouse trap
with a stick, carrying a stick over to the mouse trap, dropping it. The trap
goes off and it doesn't
even flinch. Like it knows how to shut off a trap. Yeah, man. Yeah. That's,
that's fucking crazy.
Dude, there's millions of them too. That's what's really crazy. New York City
has as many rats as it
has people. And then that's just a rough guess. You know, I mean, I don't know
what kind of
fucking rat census they're taking. I mean, how do they know? How do they know?
I mean, what,
you get a bunch of dudes who are just experts at counting shit and you go, what
do you think?
And like a load? Do you want to say there's as many rats as there are people?
Okay. Watch this.
Look at this. Watch this. Boom. Sets it off. Didn't even flinch, dude. Play
that again.
Watch, watch how he walks up to it, sets it off and watch how he doesn't flinch.
That's a violent thing. That thing exploding in front of him and slamming over
the ground.
And he a hundred percent knew it was going to happen and didn't even flinch.
That's the way I act when I'm getting like a Coke out of a machine.
Yes, exactly. Just whatever. I do it all the time.
You know that Coke drops. You don't bounce back.
It's like, thank God. That's nice. They're leaving these for us now.
I wonder if they know that this is dangerous. They'll probably figure it out.
Yeah, they know how to set those things off. That's insane.
Well, this is, you know, when this is one of the
cool essays Terrence McKenna wrote that I love
that we've talked about before. If we've talked about on the podcast,
I guess we've probably talked about everything we talk about already, so fuck
it.
But that isn't that one of the things he said in this beautiful, crazy essay
that like
everything was cool until we split the atom.
And then that was like, no, they're like, we can't, that's too much.
That's we're, we're always in transit. So when we say everything was cool until
the thing about people is we're always going somewhere in terms of we're always
trying to
make better things and we're always moving into a better place and a better
thing.
There's never going to be, it was good until this is all like romantic thinking,
like looking back.
I'm sorry. I don't mean he's saying it was good until we split the atom.
He was saying we split the atom and the greater intelligences that were
existing in alternate
dimensions. We're like, hey, wait, what the fuck? Oh, and that, that's, that's
what he was saying.
Is there like, oh, they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, they
can't do that.
Like if they do, cause like the, like the way he put it, and I'm not only paraphrasing,
I'm probably like misphrasing, but as I remember the essay, the idea is like
that,
that mold, that parallel timeline, the multiverse right next to ours that you
see, that's the DMT
realm. That's, but this DMT is just showing you one version of it. It's, it's,
but that, that,
that is populated with, uh, spirits or aliens or whatever the name you want to
give them.
And they are pretty much as far as we go. They're just like, they look at us
the way we look at
birds or whatever, you know, it's like, they're there, but you know, maybe some
of them study us
or interest us. And sure, maybe some of them like hunt us from time to time or
like maybe some of them
possess us or whatever, but mostly it's a world that it coexists with us in a,
with a very limited
form of interaction that, uh, is, is, you know, subtle, but in there, somehow
there's some like
Star Trek intentionality behind that, which is like, let them do their, let
them evolve as they're
evolving. Let's not fuck with it. But the splitting of the atom, that was
powerful enough that it bled over
into their realm destructively. And so they were like, that was the beginning
of the end for us,
not because it meant a nuclear Holocaust or whatever, but because they couldn't
just ignore us anymore.
And that this is, this was like, you know, I don't know that maybe this is
where aliens are coming
or the singularity that we, the thing we call the singularity is not that we
technologically
create a machine that produces a thing that opens up a parallel timeline or
creates all moments at once,
but rather that's when they come here that in the way we see that, because we're
so limited in our
understanding. When I do something, I'm like, I'm doing this. This is how I did
it. I did it.
This is like in music. If you write a song and, or you write music and you're
just in the room with
somebody, there's some kind of law where they get credit for it because just,
they were there.
That's a collaboration. I'm musicians. I remember someone explained this to me
a long time ago,
but it's, it's, there's an intense way of quantifying collaboration and music
that is a little different than in like making like other, other forms of media.
And it's, I think
it's a little bit more sophisticated in its way of looking at that quantification.
Like we tell,
every time we finished a podcast, we always have same, damn, whenever we talk,
it's like you bring
like our, when we're these conversations we have, I'm not having them all the
time. You know what
I mean? It's like the us together and Jamie and like something about that
produces a space where
we're able to have these kinds of conversations. And so quantifying that is
like, how would you even
fucking quantify that? But anyway, what I'm saying is right. When certain
people are around the people
that are creating the music, the music is better. Yeah. That, you know it. But
so to get back to the weirdo idea of like,
technology, not even being a thing we're making, but we're pretending we're
making because we can't see
the fact that technology is crystallizing in our timeframe. And that as part of
that crystallization,
because it's such a, such an insane visitation, we have to, in our brains,
invent a reason that it's
happening. And so we're making it and someone's like, Oh, I had this idea. I'm
going to work on this thing.
That's going to lead to a quantum computer. That's going to lead to a thing to
a thing. And then all of a sudden,
the quantum computer starts giving ideas about, well, why don't you try this?
And then, and then who
fucking came up with that? And then, you know what I mean?
And then, and then, and that's the last phase before the veil lifts and boom,
that's the singularity.
And that's, you know, and it's, it's not, we didn't make the singularity. It
were a reflection
of it. That's just when this particular zone or node or whatever you want to
call it, it gets open
for business, so to speak. Well, if it wanted to prepare us for abandoning life
as usual,
this would be a good way to start it. Yeah. Yeah. Start it with a little
pandemic,
lock everybody inside for a little bit, complete upending of what's all that's
normal in terms of
society. Yeah, man. I mean, that's the, that is the, uh, and you know, I was
driving over,
I'm like, I don't, I want to talk about like all the different conspiracies
about it with Rogan,
but I don't want to either. What kind of conspiracies about the pandemic? Yeah.
What are the conspiracies you're hearing other than 5G? 5G, Comet Impact. Comet
Impact.
Yeah. I haven't heard that one. Well, the comp, well, you're definitely not my
wife,
because my, I've mentioned it so many times to my wife. She's like, Duncan,
please don't,
do you like every day? Is there one that was supposed to fly by? Like there's a
media that's
supposed to fly by in the next short amount of time? Yeah. I go, I mean,
check out Reddit conspiracy, my conspiracy friends. I'm not even going to
attempt
to give the download on it. Cause like y'all have done a pretty good job of
putting all the,
all the pieces together out there, whether they're real or not, I don't fucking
know,
but I enjoy reading them late at night and, and, and they've been giving me
terrible dreams.
But the, the asteroid theory is that, uh, okay, so we want to have, by we, I
mean,
they want to have maximum survivability for the planet. They're not out to like,
they don't want people to die. They're not trying to do, it's not a bioengineered
thing.
That's designed to like call the population, which is another of the theories.
Uh, but rather,
uh, they, there, there was a plan, which is like, what's our plan if we do see
a meteor is going to
impact the planet? What's our plan? Do we let people know that the meteor is
going to impact?
Well, it depends. Like if an astronomer, that's not connected to one of our
labs or whatever,
sees it, they're going to let people know. And then, you know, so that's a
whole different,
I think, method of like reacting, but what if we see a thing that they don't
know about?
And there's some probability, even a 20% chance the thing impacts the earth,
right? Or there's
some cosmic event. Maybe we're not even aware of like the sun doing some weird
that we don't even
know happens because it's so deep. It's like deep data, right? So maybe it's
not an asteroid. It's a
cosmic event that's approaching, right? And so there's got to be a plan. And it's
like,
well, if we just tell people that the sun's going to do like a mile blip, which
is going to destroy
all, uh, satellites and destroy all GPS and just that alone, uh, would cause
runs on the bank,
mass panics, like, and people would start looting and shit. And that's not, you
don't want that because
the idea is like, we want them to hole up in their houses till the shit passes.
So we get maximum
survivability. And so the whole pandemic, this is a conspiracy theory, not real.
The whole pandemic
was a plan to get people to go inside, store up food, get them off the roads
and like, wait for this,
whatever this event is to pass. And as soon as the event passes, you'll, you'll
find that it's,
it's all of a sudden, it's like, what do you know? The, the curves are all
dropping off. What do you
know? And then we'll all be back because the thing they were worried about didn't
happen. Also, it could
be a test for, for that. So that, can I just stop you? Cause it's so dumb. It's
hard to believe.
Thank you. There's a real virus. They can, they can image it, but I know what
it looks like.
They, they've, they've been able to test for it. Antibodies. I feel like I'm
talking to my
wife. It's a real virus. It's a confusing virus. It's so good that I married
the person I married,
because if not, like I would probably be like digging a hole to like crawl into
out of pure
paranoia. Cause she does do this to me. She's like, Duncan, do you think there
isn't a COVID virus?
Like you think there's no virus out there? Do you think that like, maybe like,
so all the scientists
that have like identified COVID are all part of this thing to keep us from the
meteor thing. And then
I'm like, yeah, yeah, you're thank you. Cause like, I'll start getting freaked
out from it,
but I'll answer your question. Like if I had to answer that, I would say, oh no,
it's real. I mean,
how many people have died from it now? What is the current COVID death count?
50,000 today, this morning, 50,000. Here's something that I found out that's
kind of odd.
If you die of something else, so people are still dying, right? They're still
dying of
high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks, still killing more people than
anything, right?
If you die of a heart attack and you have COVID, you get listed as a COVID
death. So even if you're
going to die of a heart attack, I mean, the people are still dying, right? Same
amount of people,
other than traffic accidents, which I think has diminished quite a bit because
no one's driving.
Yep. But those people are going to die still. It's not like they live forever
without the COVID.
Right. It's not like they don't get the flu. It's not like they don't get a
cold. It's not
like they don't get pneumonia. All these things exist with or without COVID.
People are still dying
from them. But if you die of one of those things and you have COVID, it's a
COVID death.
Yeah. So that's why it's so crazy. It's like, you don't really know what, how
many people are actually
getting this thing, this COVID and having a mild reaction? How many people are
having no reaction?
How many people are dying? Right.
Like what is the, that's when they did that new UCLA study that came out that
showed they think there's
way more people that have been, they think, California alone is somewhere
around 400,000
people infected. And so the fatality rate is still pretty low. But if that's
the case, like,
so what do we do? We just let, let people die? Or do we do this every time the
flu comes around too now?
Like what if we get a particularly rough flu? Is this a practice run for what
we're going to do every
time colds come through and they start killing old people or killing sick
people or fat people? Or what,
when do we, uh, I mean, I wouldn't want to be the person that makes the call as
to when people go back
to work. Cause what if the second wave comes and a bunch of people die, they
didn't have to die.
Right. But boy, if we set up a weird precedent, you know, it's kind of weird.
We've shut everything
down. Yeah, man. I mean, well, to me, the part that makes sense is, uh, we
stopped the spread.
Well, also, the other thing is it's like, it's new. Yeah. I mean, there are
coronaviruses,
we don't know what it is. Right. So we don't have all the, we have the data on
the flu.
We have the data on the cold. We know how to treat the cold. We know how to
treat the flu.
But this fucking thing, we don't know what it is. And it's conflicting data too.
Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of get the like super, super, super intense, careful
approach to it. And I,
and I think if I had to make the decision, that would be the decision that I
made. But then also,
I hope whoever, and thank God people like us don't make those decisions, but
hopefully whoever's like
making these decisions is aware of the fact that like right now there's folks
who are getting meals
on wheels. There's folks who are like on unemployment and lost their job. And,
and like, I hope they're
aware of the fact that like, and I'm sure they are, that the pressure of folks
who are in this horrendous
economic position, the pressure on them at some point is going to exceed the
humanity and compassion
and empathy they're showing by not being in the demographic that's most likely
to die and still
staying inside, losing their job. You know, that's love, man. That's deep
compassion because you don't
want someone's granddad to suffocate on some new fucking bat flu, right? That's
really love. That's
love. And that's compact. It's beautiful. But at some point that pressure is
people are going to be
like, look, I don't want to kill anybody. I don't want to be a carrier. I don't
ever want to hurt anybody,
but my kid is gotta have food and I have to work and, you know, and then I
think somewhere there,
hopefully by then there's at least a treatment they've discovered, or at least
we get to a point
where they've, you know, where maybe what's happening in Sweden, we get enough
data on that to realize that
there's other ways to do it that don't involve complete lockdown.
Yeah. What they did was, uh, they, they sort of left everything open, but they
all behaved as if
there's the potential of contacting or transmitting, right? Yeah. Like they
didn't wear masks,
right? No. They do. It doesn't look like they're wearing masks. It looks like
they're...
They didn't close everything down. They didn't close everything down. They used
to go to restaurants
and pubs. Yeah. And is their death rate similar? Well, the thing I saw was like,
if you look at nearby countries, the death rate is lower, but weirdly countries
that were doing
complete lockdowns have higher death rates than they do. And, you know, I look,
if you, a stat,
the problem is like you have this glob of data that anyone can interpret and
there's probably angles
you can take on it that would show, look, yeah, there's a higher death rate, of
course, in Sweden,
because it's going to spread more if people aren't staying inside. I mean, that
seems pretty logical to
me. But then also if you're showing some conflicting data where some other
country in complete lockdown
with a similar population or somehow like equating their population with Sweden's
population,
if they're, uh, if they've got a higher death rate, then that's fucking
terrifying, man,
because the implication of it is like, we really don't understand what this is.
There's other factors,
too. Yeah. One big one in Sweden is not a dense population. I don't think there's
that many
people in the entire country. It's a very small place. That's right. Like, how
many people live
in Sweden? Yeah, I think I looked this up the other day. I think most of the
people live in small
villages of like less than 200. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. So, you know, they
probably don't travel that
much or interact with each other that much. They have plenty of space. They don't
travel that much. I mean,
tight together, I mean, 10.23 million for the entire country. Tiny. By the way,
it's great. I've been to
Stockholm. It was gorgeous. Beautiful. We did a show there, too. Uh, they were
really nice. I enjoyed
it very much. Very, very friendly people. But, you know, they have a lot of
space. They're not New York
City. New York City seems to be the epicenter in the United States and for good
reason. Everyone's
stacked on top of each other. Yeah. Everyone's interacting with each other on
the streets,
on the subways, moving around. You got to go to places. There's fucking people
everywhere. They're
everywhere. Everywhere. That, I think, is a terrible way to live. I, dude, I, I
fucking love
New York so much. When I went there, it was so nice. But yeah, it's nice to be
on the west coast. And
especially right now, Jamie was, you know, talking about like, think of the
people right now in New York
who are just in, you know, alone in an apartment, seeing the news that
apparently spreads through
like air conditioning ducts. It's like, you know what I mean? You're, you're,
that, that's terrifying. But
you know, I, again, I like my opinion on it. And in my old age, this is, it has
to be my opinion on
things. It's like, I'm going to trust scientists. I'm just going to, because I,
I did like, I didn't go to
medical school. I don't understand what the fuck a virus even is. Like, I, I
don't remember. I've
been trying to remember. I'm too lazy to Google it, how it works. I know it
fucks with, it gets into
your DNA. It replaces it. But the, what I'm saying is I'm not suggesting some
kind of surrender to
authority out of absolute weakness. But if a large consensus of scientists are
advising some specific
method of dealing with this thing, let's listen to them, you know, and, and
then just make sure
that it's, I feel bad for like, I have a friend in Georgia right now. And like
right now he's become
part of an experiment, a global experiment. They're opening up Georgia right
now. And every state that
opens up right now becomes a, a, an experiment. We're going to get a lot of
data from what happens
from all these states opening up right now regarding the efficacy of a shutdown
like we
have right now. And it could be that it all of a sudden we realized we overreacted.
And you know
what? I'd much rather overreact than underreact in situations like this. You
know, it's like,
fuck, we overreacted. Whoops. Yeah, we didn't, we thought there was the
potential this thing could
mutate and kill fuck tons of people way more than the flu. And we were wrong.
And it fucked up the
economy. But it's a lot better than what would have happened if it was some new
smallpox or black
plague, right? Also, look, it killed 50,000 people, right? What if we did
nothing? Would it have killed
like 400,000? Exactly. I mean, that could have happened. I mean, it could have
compounded. And it
seems like for whatever reason, these places where people are contact or
stacked on top of each other,
not only do they get it, but they get it way worse. Right? Yeah. It seems like
what's that expression?
Viral load, right? Yeah. Like the viral load is greater. And the, like, if you're
around a bunch
of sick people, like there was one awful story about this family in New Jersey
and like the mother died
and the oldest son died and the middle son died. Like three people died from
one family vacation or one
family dinner. They got together and one of them had it and just spread through
the fucking house.
It's not the flu. You know, it's obviously, it's something way more intense,
but the people that
have survived the flu, they'll probably survive that too. But the people that,
you know, were kind of
hanging on edge, it seems like anybody with a respiratory problem is in deep
shit. Anybody who
smokes is in deep shit. People with high blood pressure, diabetes, deep shit.
It's not the same with
everybody. Other people like Idris Elba walks it off, you know, healthy. I know,
but he has asthma
apparently. Oh really? Yeah. He had asthma, but he didn't, you know, there's a
lot of people that
I don't, that Chris Cuomo guy seems fine. I know he says he gets chills, but he
seems fine. Seems
rattled though. You know, I've got, I've got, I don't, not in a bad way. Yeah,
exactly. Like I didn't,
that was one of watching him was one of the things that was legitimately
creeping me out is like,
as you're watching him and he did a great job holding it together, man. He didn't
panic and he like
put something out there that was like comforting to some degree, but I could,
you know, I was scanning
his eyes and there were moments where I'm like, fuck he's rattled. Like
whatever's happening to him
at night is bad, bad. Why is it happening at night? What is the difference? Uh,
you know, I don't,
that's just, I don't understand that. If you look fine in the day, how come at
night all of a sudden
everything's all fucked up? Don't ask me, man. I don't know. It's like, I've
noticed though,
sometimes if I get sick night is always worse than the day. I don't know why. I
don't know, man, but the
whatever, like whatever the fuck it is to, to me that like the part that really
sucks. I got friends
who are like immunocompromised, man. And that, that means that like, they, like
they, they're,
they really will, if they get it, that's it's game over, you know, it's fuck it,
it sucks. And so
there's that quality to it too, where you're like, you know, statistically, I
don't know where I'm at.
Like statistically, I think I'm, I'm, I'm on the cusp, you know, but, uh, we've
got, all of us have
friends that are like dead meat. If this thing were to explode, so fuck it, you
know, I get, I'm not,
I get staying inside, man. I just know that like, eventually, you know, my bro,
my brother was
telling me every day, his neighbor, you know, my brother works from home. He's
in, he's, he's in,
and he's a video editor every, every, every day and a producer, but every day,
these, you know,
I, he see like, you know, he sees people are getting food deliveries because
they can't from
the state, right? You know, man. And that, that's like, I don't know. I'm just
glad I don't have to,
I'm glad I don't have to be the one who makes decisions like this, because that
must be a weird
thing to, to be in a position where any decision you make kills people. Like if
you make the decision
to open up, people are going to, you know, die because they're going to get
sick. Uh, if you
don't make this decision to open up, there's a potential that, you know, just
think of the
mentally ill people right now. No one's talking about that. Like I keep
thinking of like, like
the manic depressive people, the people who are already depressed, who now can't
go outside,
but are also getting blasted with apocalypse news. I don't know what suicide
rates are looking
like right now, but like, you know what I mean? So it's the, the, the decision
to keep people shut
down, you know, is going to, the, the, what might result from that, those
deaths might be secondary
or tertiary or some shit, but still it's like, it just sucks to have to be in a
position where you
have to make those decisions. And it's like, how awful to know it's just, it's
like brutal. I feel
terrible for them. You know, anyone who's like, cause I don't, you know, I don't
know what they're
going to do either. I mean, they, they're going to have to eventually assume
the position that we're
going to have to slowly open up and, and start, you know, restaurants at half
capacity and shit like
that. Yeah. But when, you know what I mean? They've said May 15th here. That
seems like an awful long time.
I know. It's an awful long time to ask people to keep it together. They don't
have any money.
It's an awful long time. It's an awful, awful long time. It doesn't seem like
the best idea either.
It seems like the best idea would be to quarantine all the people that are very
vulnerable,
to make sure that they quarantine and make sure that people who know them are
aware, you know,
do not, you know, touch them or touch anything around them. If you could have
potentially been in
contact with something because they're immunocompromised. Well, that seems like
the move,
the move seems like to quarantine the people at this point, at least the self
quarantine or,
you know, tell them to quarantine people that are really vulnerable, older
people,
people with, you know, people that smoke, people with respiratory conditions,
be aware
that you're vulnerable, you know, and, and then you act accordingly, but
everybody else, we need to
at some point in time, whether it's this week or next week or three weeks from
now, when they think
it is May 15th, right? That's like three weeks from now, they're going to have
to open the doors.
And when they open the doors, people are going to be starving. They're going to
be starving.
Yeah, man. You know, they haven't worked. There's so many people that are so
behind their debts.
They're getting, you know, debt collectors are still wanting their money, you
know, especially if they
had loans or, you know, anything that was outstanding before all this happened,
they're already in debt,
trying to work their way out of a hole and they can't even work. This is the
only time we've ever been in a
position where people can't even go to work. Yeah. What do you, okay. So the, I've
heard like three
ideas regarding what to do. One of them is like incredibly controversial. I
wonder what you think
about it, which is like using the same data that they use in like, uh, what's
it called? Those chips?
South Korea? Yeah. No, the chips you can put on. Yeah. It's Bluetooth. So it's,
it's essentially like
tracking and alerting you if you've come in contact with someone who has it.
What do you think about that?
I don't trust anyone to have all that data and only use it for that. Right.
There's no way that data
would be so valuable if everyone had a chip and everyone was tracked. You knew
where everyone was
all throughout the day. Oh, you're only going to use that to see who's got
coronavirus. Really? Yeah.
Get the fuck out of here. Once that technology exists, it's not like they're
going to murder it
at the end of the fucking season. Well, we've got no more COVID. So let's just
stop all this technology.
No chance. They'll find a new reason to use it. Okay. They'll be able to track
the flu.
They'll be able to track adulterers. They'll be able to track robbers. They'll
be able to track
carjackers. They'll be able to track you name it, man. You name it. These are
the right-wing
activists that like to yell at abortion clinics. Let's track them. Right. You
know, now, now a Republican
gets in office. Hey, this is, these are the people that are the fucking animal
rights activists.
They always get in front of the meat plant. Let's track them. Right. Like you
can't track
people. Okay. And they're already doing it anyway. You talk to Snowden, they're
already tracking you
by your goddamn phone. But I like the fact that I could take this phone and
chuck it in the
fucking river. I could just chuck it. I'd throw it in the ocean. No, I wouldn't
even do that.
I'm environmentally conscious. No matter what you say, someone's going to be
like, you bastard.
But I wouldn't. I'm not a, I really feel strongly about that. I would never
litter like that. But
the point is I can get rid of that fucking phone. Yeah. It's not a part of my
body. Once they're
injecting, I've talked about this way too many podcasts in a row, but there's a
company that
had these people inject a microchip in their arm and they could wave it in
front of the soda machine
and get fucking snacks with it and shit. It was like your, your tab was on your
arm.
You can, oh, Mike's here. Open the door. It unlocks the door. Get the fuck out
of here.
And we were saying like, what if that company fires you? What if Chipotle fires
you? You got that
Chipotle chip in your arm. But I was management. It's not a regular Chipotle
chip. Imagine, imagine.
And now you have to work for fucking 7up and 7up's like, we're going to have to
cut your arm off.
Yeah. Because it keeps registering that you're a Chipotle invader. You know, 10
chips in your arm
because you worked at, just kept getting a new job. Just keep getting new chips.
Mike, why don't you get those chips removed? I like them. They remind me, you
know,
I've had a hard life and a lot of good jobs.
All these chips all around his arm. I'm proud of my chips.
That's a way I've always been. Always been a hard worker.
Oh, I earned these chips. I earned all these chips.
Every single one of these chips means, you know, also when you combine those
chips with augmented
reality so that you could have a visual floating around them as like the mascot
of the various
companies they work for, or like, you know, like, let's say we do get the chip,
right? The chip exists
and we all just somehow decide like, yeah, let's just do it. I mean, the whole
book of revelations.
That's just the whole bullshit. The whole mark of the beast. I'm not going to
pay any attention.
Let's get the chip. That was just some ancient bullshit. All right, come on. I
want to,
I want to get sodas without having to pull out my fucking wallet.
It sucks. I'm sick of it. I'm exhausted all day from this activity, but we all
get the chips. And
then what happens is you, and of course it would start off with like a decision
to make, like,
like what, what data in the chip do you want people to be able to see with a
augmented reality? And so
like, this is where you run into what I think the future is going to look like
with this shit is it's
like, it's like when you're walking around in your company and your employee of
the month and
everybody's wearing augmented reality goggles, you're going to have some kind
of employee of the month
halo around you. So everybody's aware that you made the most sales, you know,
it's going to be like
that. Yeah. And it's going to be like that for like, you know, uh, it's going
to be brutal as far
as let's say credit scores go, right? Because if you've got a great credit
score and you want to
indicate to the world that if you want to get into debt, you can baby, because
you've got a great
credit score, you're going to have this glowing shit around you. Me and like,
and in the moment,
one person decides to reveal that everybody's going to feel like they have to
reveal it. And if you see
someone who doesn't have like the good credit score crown or whatever, like the
banner of great credit
floating in front of them, you're like, yeah, you're probably fucked, right?
Like you made some bad
decisions. You'll see someone who's got a lot of shit, nice car, really nice
clothes, but you'll be like,
yeah, but you know, he doesn't, he doesn't have the glowing medallion of good
credit on his
AR self. So I don't know if he really owns any of that stuff, you know, and
then, and you know,
I mean, then it's going to like, there's going to be all forms of that, which
leads to like, you know,
like venereal disease. Like you could go into a bar and if you just got tested
and you're clean,
so to speak, then maybe there's like a little AR like clean angel that like
flies around your head.
It's like, he doesn't have herpes. We can bear back. And like, you know what I
mean?
Like that kind of, those bits of data that, that you, that if you don't show
them,
there's some reason to be suspicious. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. You
walk up to someone, they have no data. They're just blank. You'd be terrified.
Yeah. You're just a
person. Who are you supposed to trust you? Yeah. You could be a serial killer.
Fuck that.
We're going to look back on times when we just would meet people like this and
not have some halo to go
by. Yeah. Like if I see Jamie, Jamie'd have like a nice golden glow. I'd be
like, look at him. He's
got a high approval rating. He's got some cash. Yeah. That's a good catch. Yeah.
There you go. If you
go to a nightclub, all the dudes who are glowing gold, people would be like, oh,
and girls with like
purple credit scores. They'd come in and try to get close to the guys and the
gold, try to get a
little of that gold on them, clean up that credit. Yeah. Yeah, man. Imagine if
you knew, like if a girl was
really hot, you look at her credit card. Oh my God, bank fraud. Look at her.
She's a bank frauder.
Yeah. Like that. You don't get that gray outline unless you do bank fraud. That's
right.
Yeah. And there's no way to get it off. It's like. Can you imagine? Yeah. That
and that, you know,
there's going to be big arguments about that where it's like, you know,
currently if you're a registered
sex offender, we know where you fucking live and I get it, man. Like that's
good. That's good. But then
it's going to be like, okay, but do we put that in their augmented reality chip
profile so that when
anywhere they go, people are seeing that this is a person that hurts kids, you
know, and there's going
to be a conversation about that. We're going to be like, fuck yeah, that's what
you do. Like, I want
to know if some like weirdo is like getting anywhere close to my kid, right?
Fuck yeah, you let it in.
Anyway, that's the slippery slope that leads to the dystopian, like, you know,
black mirror future and that great episode where like there was like, you know,
and I think they
are doing it in China. They're doing it in China. Yeah. They have a legit
social score in China.
This is a real concern. If this technology does get released in time and people
start using their
COVID tests and putting it on their QR code, that little thing that you do with
the photo and it
scans you like a plane ticket, you know, like, oh, you're good, Duncan. Seems
like you're good.
Make sure you keep that phone on you everywhere you go. No problem, officer.
You know, Duncan, we got a
email the other day that shows that you have been going, I don't know who has
this data, but you've
been going down to San Clemente during the lockdown to stay with friends. No,
there's a glory hole there
that I like. This is not allowed. What? You're traveling. Like, see, look, what
if we do this?
What if we go into this scanning thing and then a new pandemic pops up and we
go into lockdown again?
They're going to be able to find the people that aren't locking down. What if
you got to drive
somewhere in the middle of the night to go get something, something important
for your family?
Yeah. Well, all of a sudden you're being tracked and then they call you. Duncan,
where are you going?
Where are you going? We are looking at you right now. You're in San Clemente.
You don't live in San
Clemente. Why are you down there? Yeah. But I, you know, I'm just freedom. I
want to drive around. I don't know.
This is a lockdown. Yeah. There's a new flu. Go back home, Duncan. You want to
kill people?
It's a weird, it's a weird power to give people. The power to have a mayor tell
you what you can do.
That's never happened before. I'm not saying they're doing it because of that.
I know why
they're doing it. They're doing it to save lives. I'm a hundred percent for it.
I'm not,
don't get me wrong here, but still that power that anybody has to say, you can't
work,
you got to stay home. You can't go to the park. You can't go to the beach.
That power's weird. That's a lot of power, man. Yeah. You know, to be the
person. Gavin,
may we open? Not yet. Yeah. Yeah. Not yet. But what, but what if they social
distance? I mean,
they need to make money. Yeah. We need to save lives. Yeah. It sucks. Yeah.
This is no good answer.
It's a shit job, man. It's like the shittiest. That's the shittiest job. Cause
it's like you, you,
you, no decision you make is going to make everybody happy. Any decision you
make is going
to ruin someone's life, maybe kill them. And so yeah, all these people. Also,
no one thought that
was going to be a part of the job, right? Yeah. You didn't think that you
thought you're going to
deal with like, yeah. Gavin wasn't like, he didn't know that when he like got
in there,
he was suddenly going to be like potentially like one of the war leaders in Mad
Max. He didn't
understand that was going to be his world. Dude, this is how poorly they
thought this through.
Garcetti is giving people money to snitch. They're giving people money to snitch
on social
distance violators. What? Yeah. So if you go over your buddy Mike's house for a
barbecue,
there's eight people in that backyard to Helen. Look, that's fucked up. Eight
fucking people.
We're over here. Social distancing that cut Duncan Trussell. He's over at Mike's
house,
barbecuing. Drinking beers. Probably wife swapping. Pigs. Wife swapping.
And then Garcetti comes along and offers people money to rat you out. How much
did they get?
I was wondering if they've even done that yet. It can't be real. I saw that and
just thought
that's not real. It was real. They were offering people rewards. What? To rat
out social distance
violators. Disgusting. I mean, how you don't know that leads to Maoist China
and fucking Stalinist Russia?
How you don't know that getting people to rat on people leads to North Korea? I'm
not saying we're going
to be in North Korea, but that kind of shit, that's where that comes from. That's
how it starts. You can't pay
people to rat people out. You fucking asshole. What a shitty, poorly thought
out idea that is.
No shit, man. I saw something popped up on my Instagram. Some company saying,
if you're aware that your bosses are violating like software, like don't have
licensed software,
you know, we'll give you a reward. Inviting people, like disgruntled employees
who know that their
boss is running like stolen Photoshop or whatever to like make a little money
and
fuck their boss over. And it's like that invitation to snitch, that is a satanic
invitation, man.
That is like, I don't care what level it's at, like in general, unless you're
looking at like
hardcore Snowden level whistleblower, like you've been down in the deep
underground military bases
and you saw the fucking thing in the egg that could read your mind. And you're
like, I can't keep it to
myself. I'm gonna fucking tell people. Exactly. You know, I get that.
But like any, the other versions of it. Yeah. Fuck that. Don't invite us to snitch.
Don't encourage
that behavior. There's better ways to do it. I'm sure than like bounties on
your fucking neighbors.
That's fucked up. So fucked up. It's just so fucked up that someone who would
get as high as mayor
of Los Angeles would let an idea like that slip through the cracks. Well, like
what fucking fascist
do you have working in that office that like, I got an idea. Oh God. Pay people
to rat people
out. Yeah. These fucks, they haven't been working. Yeah. They need money for
masks. Yeah. That's it.
What is it? He did say snitches get rewards, but he said it's the opposite of
snitches get stitches.
I can't find anything. Oh no, they'll definitely get stitches. I can't find
anything saying like they
get 50 bucks, 100 bucks. This is the reward you get. He might be like. The
opposite of snitches get
stitches as if they're not still snitches and as if snitches don't still get
stitches. Right.
What are you talking about? You're gonna, you're gonna absolutely make sure
that these people don't get
beat up for being snitches. You're gonna step in with cops, give them 24-hour
security guards.
If you're, you find out that your neighbor ratted you out for money, oh my God,
you'd want to kill him.
It would be like, uh, what happened to that dude? Uh, what's his face? Um, uh,
Ron Paul's kid?
You know what I'm talking about? No. The, the congressman who got, uh, tackled.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, that's right. Rand Paul. Yeah. Rand Paul, his, his neighbor was like,
"Fuck you!" Just out of nowhere tackles him, smashes his ribs. He lost a piece
of his lung.
Yeah, man. That's fucked up. And it's like, cause you're, what you're asking
for there,
which is another thing that I think the state, anytime anyone starts doing this,
then you really
have to start thinking about who, who you voted for. But like, cause the idea
is like, I love it when,
you know, and I'm cheesy and I am a fucking hippie and I get accused of stoner
talking shit. But yeah,
I want there to be world peace and I want people to love each other. And when I
see, uh, you know,
any, even the slightest thing that like transcends political divides where like,
you know, people
who've hated fucking Trump and people Trump have hated, I saw something where
like, I can't remember
who it was like, God, what's the name of the Mormon politician that was running
for president
against Trump Romney Romney. Yeah. So some dude, uh, like voted against
releasing money to people
who don't have jobs. And Mitt Romney tweeted, well, that Senator, whoever he
was tested positive for
being an asshole. And yeah, Mitt Romney said that and fucking, you know, and
then like, there was this
just flickering moment where Trump retweets that or says something about it and
says like, I didn't know he
had that sense of humor, but I liked it. And like, for that one stupid moment,
there's a second where
it's like, that's, we're supposed to be on the same team. Right. And, and, and,
and like, you know,
that's not a political statement. Right. That's like a statement of survivability.
And when you have a
fucking, uh, uh, when you have a, uh, and again, I'm not saying bow down to the
state or anything like
that either. That's the opposite of what I'm saying. I'm not saying, therefore,
we all gotta be on the side of the
what happened. None of that shit. I'm not saying any of that shit, man. So don't
take this the wrong
way. Cause that's not what I'm saying. I get it. What I'm saying is when
anything that divides one
neighbor from the next, anything that invites neighbors to divide instead of
unite is cancerous,
literally for society in the sense that what's going to start happening is the,
the, the, the, the, the,
the pixel of society is that the neighbors, that's like the connection between
your neighbors makes up
the tapestry of the entire country. And that connection, if it's broken or
weird or fucked up,
then that's, that's fucking everything up. And, and so to invite that, invite
anything that that up
is to me really, really longterm disastrous. It's like the idea would be like,
Hey, does your name,
is your neighbor an old person? Go find out if your neighbor is an old person
and can't get food.
And if they are, and you get food to them, we'll pay for it. Right. How about
that? Yes. That's
beautiful. Like you, you know, someone who's like fucked up right now, let us
know so we can make sure
they're not, their kids aren't starving. Right. Are there any, do you know,
like, man, what about the
fucking kids whose parents are right now, super fucking sick with this shit?
Like why we need governors.
And we need people saying like, you need to know where the kids are in the
building so that whose
parents are sick. So we can make sure those kids are getting taken care of
while their parents are
all in bed and shit. Like, so fuck that. That, that is what people get rewards
for that. Why don't we
have a way of monetizing kindness in, in, in, in acts of like grace to your
neighbors, instead of
monetizing like you becoming like literally what is one a universally derided
thing, which is a snitch.
You don't want to be a snitch. Fuck snitches get stitches. No, maybe they don't
get stitches,
but man, I'll tell you when you die, wouldn't want to be, you wouldn't want to
be a snitch in the
afterlife. I'll tell you that, man, you get devoured by spirit wolves. Like I
bet just spirit wolves,
I'm sure you don't get the like experience of like, you know, going through the
bar, seeing your mom
come running to you like a bowl of soup. It's your mom. She comes running to
you and you think it's a
bowl of soup, but you look in it, it's your wife's head. And then you look back
up. It's a spirit wolf.
It's like, so you thought it was smart to snitch in that dimension, huh? No, no,
it's your soul forever.
Yeah, maybe just don't snitch. That's fucked up. I mean, well, it's just
ridiculous that someone in a
position of real leadership, right? You're the mayor of a huge city and you
would think that that would
be a good idea. Let's listen. People are going to snitch on people anyway, but
to encourage them with
financial reward is crazy. Crazy. It is crazy. And it's so poorly thought out.
Yeah. That's a dumb
idea to put out there. Such a poor understanding of human nature. Yeah. Like
you don't know where this
goes. Yeah. And also in a time of great duress, you're encouraging people to snitch.
Yeah. This is
absolutely the time we've got to be encouraging camaraderie. Yeah. This is when
things are weird.
Everybody's forced into the same position. No one can do what they want. When's
the last time you were on
stage? I haven't been on stage in a month. I've been doing private shows for my
son.
I'm just kidding. I haven't been on fucking stage. I'm sure they're great. We
literally, our job has
stopped and our job might not come back until January. Yeah, that's right.
Maybe. Who knows? Who knows? We don't
know. I've got some gigs booked and I don't know if I'm going to be able to do
them. I got a gig booked
in September. I got two in September. Yeah. I got a couple in October. I got
Octobers. But it's like,
also, it's not like you should be like, you can't really promote the show right
now without seeming
like a blazing dick. I don't want to encourage people to go out. And it's like,
yeah, that's the
problem, man. But here's the thing. Whatever the state is doing, the state's
going to do. This is
my favorite Jesus saying. Offer unto Caesar what is Caesar's, which is like,
you know, there's a game
going on here with power. And if you think you're going to subvert that game,
maybe, probably not.
Best thing to do, let the dragon do whatever the fuck the dragon's going to do.
But don't let them
cause you to forget that you don't need the state to like, go over to like,
leave a note on
your neighbor's door asking if they're okay. Right. You know what I mean? You
don't need,
we don't need the mechanisms of some bureaucracy to do good, like to pick up
trash. Right. You know,
like that was the thing that happened when the fucking national parks all got
defunded because of
this bullshit. All of a sudden, like there's people are taking pictures of
garbage or in the national
parks. Right. And the implication of that is like, we can't clean this up
ourselves. We need a state
official to come and pick the trash up. And it's like, it's nice that they do
that. And we pay taxes
for that. And they should do that. But if they're not doing it, and we're
waiting for some hero from
the state to come in and fix our fucking problems. That's lazy. That's bad
thinking. It's like,
I think as a people, the idea is more to like, uh, transcend that addiction to
being saved,
that addiction that for sure someone's coming. Sometimes they come. Right. But
sometimes they
don't. And, and that's no reason to like, put off just the basic shit, man.
Like, you know, we,
I, we put out sometimes in front of our house, we'll just put out shit to give
to people. You know,
we've got fruit trees. There's fruit, you know, there's like, I, the garden's
got like some shit
growing in it. I'll put it out there, you know, and, and people take every bit
of it. You come back
at the end of the day, it's, you know, we've got flowers. So cut some flowers
and just leave flowers
out there in case someone wants to bring a flower to somebody. It's an act of
trust. Cause you don't
know what I might be covered in like COVID mucus doing like rose for my
neighbors. But that being said,
I don't know, maybe they're desanitizing, but my point is like, cool shit
happens. Sometimes
you go out to that box and like, they've replaced something. Like we gave
flowers the way we came
out and then someone had put different kinds of flowers in the box for those
flowers. You know what
I mean? Sounds like you got a stalker. Yeah. Actually, now that I think about
it, the flowers,
you know, it did seem like there was some, something like sticky and creamy on
the flowers that,
but you know, I'm saying like, again, this, this to me, this, the not getting
too much in the macro.
Cause I'll go insane. If I get in the macro, getting into the micro, which is
your direct,
literally your direct neighbors and like making some connection with them. You
know, like my,
the guy who lives across the street, we talked for like two minutes and it was
wonderful.
And he's like, if you need tools, just let me know. I got a ton of tools. Just,
you can like,
you know, message me and I'll come and leave them here and you can come and get
them.
Shit like that. That's nice. It's cool. And it's like, it's just beautiful. It's
like,
that's what it's supposed to be like. Yeah. That's nice. You got a good
neighbor.
That's it. Yeah. Every good neighbors is everything.
Everything. People that hate their neighbors. Like, man, you should just move,
save yourself some agony.
Yeah. Well, you can't sometimes that's the problem. We all need, we talked
about this before.
We need to find a cul-de-sac and all buy houses there.
You mean the cult? Yes. I know.
Well, you think a ranch would do the trick? It's tough to get people to live on
a ranch.
No, I think the way you're talking about, I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
It's not that hard. Like I, you know, I think the way you do it is in phases,
right?
So like the first thing would be just get the land. Right. Right.
And then hire an architect. Yeah. Hire an architect. And then like, you know,
Bring in Alex Gray. Yeah.
That thing that he did in upstate New York. It's beautiful.
Have you been there personally? I've been there in the, I haven't,
unfortunately,
I haven't been there since it's, it's completion. I don't even know if it's
completed,
but I've been there in the early phases and yeah, that for sure is a temple.
Like, it's no joke.
It's not like they're just saying it's a temple. That's a real.
And the way he printed those weird faces, those multi-feature faces and use
them
in the corners of the building. What is it? What does he call it again?
I can't remember. I'm sorry. Cosm.
Oh, Cosm. I thought you meant what he called those faces. He has a name for the
faces too.
Is that the chapel of sacred mirrors? Is that what it sounds for?
Yes. But isn't that, Cosm is, was used to be what he called the place in New
York City,
right? He had the place in Manhattan. Yeah. They had this,
I think they still, well, they still do have a beautiful place in New York
actually,
or like an artist loft there, I believe, but like they, they ended up realizing
it was time to like
build a temple. Yeah. And then really go somewhere in nature. Yeah. They're,
they're in like a small
New York town, right? Yeah. That's right. New York state town. Yeah. It's a
beautiful place.
And they're a legit religion. Entheon. That's right. And they're an actual
religion,
which they are. They are an actual religion. I mean, that is a religion. Yeah.
It is a religion. And
by the way, a religion doesn't want anything from you. Like they're not, they're
not trying to get
10% of your money. No. They're not giving you a bunch of rules to follow. Nope.
They want you to
worship love and creativity. It's a really interesting place. Is that, oh, that's,
that's just an image
of what it's going to look like. And I don't think it's really quite there yet,
but holy shit. Yeah, man.
Imagine coming up to that, like walking up to that front door and you're like,
oh my God,
what the hell am I looking at? Dude, when I was on tour,
they let me park my tour bus there because we needed a place to sleep for the
night.
So I had to sleep in front of that thing in my tour bus and I hadn't even
gotten to that phase,
but I had crazy dreams just sleeping there. Yeah, it was wild, man. That's
probably like one of those,
if you build it, they will come things. Like, do you imagine how hard you would
trip inside that place?
Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no. Like, I don't think it's, I don't think
it's a,
like, you could do DMT in a shitty apartment and still have some crazy mind-blowing
trip,
but you can't tell me that coming to this place and going through this Entheon
portal,
like, this isn't going to have some fucking crazy effect on the way you trip.
Yeah.
Oh my God. But that, you know, that was the idea of a temple. I mean, the idea
is,
and not, I'm not just saying to trip or whatever, but the concept is like, you
know,
let's acknowledge the fact that maybe our ideas aren't necessarily coming from
inside our brains.
Let's just as a fantasy imagine that there is a divine intelligence that as one
of the many beautiful
things it pushes into this particular realm is art. And that if we can figure
out a way to purify the
connection with that thing, then we become receivers for that. And by doing
that, we allow that thing to
begin to exist in this world. And a temple was a place that allowed that
connection to be refined,
purified, uh, intentionalized. And in that there's a solidification called
inspiration or art or whatever
the name is you want to give it, but it's really, it's like output from a place
that maybe is, you
know, a few, a few floors up from the one we're at. It's having a pretty
wonderful party right now.
And like part of what we do is like allow it to drip into this realm, which is
potentially a denser
realm. We're in the realm of matter. It's dense, you know, and like ideas. If
you look at your ideas,
they're, they're light. They're like, they're, they're, they're, they don't
have, at least my ideas,
like they're, they're not like heavy. They're, uh, uh, inspiration feels like
barely anything. In fact,
it's so barely anything. Think how easy it is to miss a good idea, how easy it
is to think something
cool that maybe you want to write down for a joke and you're just, I'll write
that down later. And then it's gone.
It's light, it's light. And so in, in part of what they're, I think are all
about, or, I mean,
again, that's me putting it on them. They have a wonderful description on their
website about what
they're all about. But to me, part of me, what creation is, is taking those
things, allowing them
to come through you and then allowing this realm to do what it does, which is
to crystallize them
in a denser form that other people can enjoy. And, you know, that, um, that
enjoyment is a, you know,
that's enough. It doesn't have to be some lofty ass shit. It's just like people
get a little, like,
this tiny little smell of heaven, like a better place, a lighter place, a place
that isn't encumbered
by so much bullshit. Is this particular realm that can like completely take
someone out of a depression,
man? That can completely give somebody the, you know, juice they need to like
get back out there
and like open up themselves to the world and not be shut down. Just one little,
like tiny, tiny,
minuscule reminder of like, don't worry. There's, this isn't the only place.
There's simultaneously
amazing things happen, happening, which you're part of. You just don't realize
it yet. And don't worry.
And, you know, McKinney used to, in one of his essays, that's what he'd say on
mushrooms,
is he would get this message. Don't worry. We're coming. Don't worry. We're
coming. And you know
what I mean? But I, I think that's what art does is it gives you this sense of
like, don't worry.
Right now we're just building the runway. Don't worry. It's coming. I know this,
this place seems
fucked up. It's a little dense right now. We're going to lighten it up. And
then that, that.
How much of that is your own imagination though? Like how much of your own
imagination stimulates
your trips? You know, I mean, we, we want to assume that we're really
interacting with something,
right? Yeah. On the other side. But why, why do we assume that that's something?
Obviously it's not
static. One of the things about tryptamine experiences is that things twist and
change and morph and
shift and never, they never stay any one thing for any length of time. They're
always becoming other things
and moving in and out of things like maybe that's just what happens over there.
Maybe this things are,
are constantly shifting and changing, you know, maybe what we're doing is we're
trying to apply
when we think of how we are here in this, this life, we're trying to apply
those laws to whatever we,
we experience when we, when we, when we do that. But it seems so alien. When
you have those experiences,
it seems so alien. You're not going to be able to bring any of that back. You
can give someone like
little glimpses. Yeah. And what, what Alex has done the best is capture like,
oh, I know what he's
doing. Like those faces, those like almost Egyptian looking golden faces are
moving and apart from each
other. Like you go, oh yeah, I've seen something. Yeah. Something sort of. Yeah.
There's a trip to
mean part to that. Yeah. But that whatever that would it be in that dimension,
it would change and become
something else instantaneously and then become something else. And then, and a
lot of it has to
do with how you're thinking, which is weird. It's like, are, is the way you are
thinking actually affecting
those things or is the way you're thinking affecting your perception of
whatever this energy is and how
it manifests itself visually? Well, I mean, this is that right. Even in, in
what you're saying,
there's this assumption that, that your thinking is separate from the thing.
Right, right, right.
And so, so we have a thought and we're thinking to ourselves, oh, I just got a
good idea. We don't
know that if we had a different way of quantifying time and space, we might've
just seen some ethereal
mist drift through us that produced a thing we called a thought that we thought
must be us. So
you look at a thing in that realm and it's shifting and converting and, and you
notice that that conversion
seems to be happening in relation to like how you're feeling. And you know, now
you're in a chicken or the
egg conversation, which is like, who's, you know, who's reflecting who here?
Like who, which of us
is like real and which of us isn't, or are we just kind of the, I, am I just
seeing who I actually am,
but because I live in a world of, um, individuality and I live in a world where
there's a separate
quality to things. I see, I have to see you as separate because if I don't, I
can't see you and all
I can do, you know, I'm seeing myself in you, which is, I think what the, what
is happening in this realm
anyway. It's like when we're, anything you're looking at right now is, uh, some
phenomena being
painted instantaneously by your imagination with all that's what the
imagination is doing. It's painting
colors onto the universe of, of infinite phenomena that your, your brain is
like doing out of habit.
So that's, that's that, you know, anything that anyone you're around, you make
an instantaneous
assessment of that person or, uh, you, you begin to like realize like, wait, I,
I got a bad vibe about
that person. I bet something's off with them. And then you go into like, you're
a TV psychic
bullshit. Like, oh yeah, really? Oh really? Is that your, what is that the
instincts you learned?
Where'd you learn that world of warcraft? The streets. Yeah, you know, you don't
know,
but I've done that. I'm by the way, I'm talking about myself where I'm like,
yeah,
I just can tell if a person is honest or it's like, no, I can't. You can
definitely tell if a person's
really fucking weird though. That's for sure. You could tell if a person's off,
like they're not
really connecting with you or they're pretending to connect with you. And you're
like, whoa,
I got a weird vibe from this guy. Yeah. That. Meanwhile, if you looked at what
he said on paper,
what you said on paper would be totally normal. That's true. There's sometimes
there's a certain
things of a violation of space. There's a weirdness to the way they look at you,
a cadence. Yeah.
They're like, oh, you're off. I hate that feeling, man. That's, that's a deeper
thing. When the alarm
bells go off like that, your hair starts standing up. You're like, gotta go. I
fucking hate that.
That's scary. But you know, I'm just saying sometimes you're not right. And
this is like,
why you need empiricism and science, because sometimes you're not right. Like
just because
you think that's how shit is from some instinct inside of you doesn't mean that's
how things is.
You're biased. And so that, that's the projection. That's like the, that's the
part of you that you're
like, you're still dealing with some trauma when you, when you're a kid and you're
seeing that trauma
in all the things around you. And so you're like in an argument with someone
who hurt you 20 years ago,
when you're talking to somebody who vaguely reminds you of that person.
And if you're in the UIV, like you're still having the argument. And if you're
not aware that you're
still having that argument, then you can start saying shit. Like why do I
always end up with the
same person? It's like, I always draw this kind of person to me. And it's like,
well, maybe you're
drawing the exact same kind of person to you, or maybe you're running the same
movie on a different
screen and being like, I've seen this before. I keep seeing this movie. You
know, it's like,
that's the same movie. It's like, you're seeing the same thing you're
projecting. It's just,
it looks like now it's not Tom, it's Alex, or now it's not Lisa. You're looking
at Samantha,
but you're still seeing this thing and that that's the projection. So anyway,
that's the imagination. And
the question is how powerful is that projection? Cause sometimes you start
projecting onto someone
how you think they are. And if that person's weak or insecure, they'll start
acting the way you think
they are. Now you've, your projection has sprung to life in front of you
because the person you've
essentially animated a person with your expectation of them. And then, because
that person is acting the
way you thought they would act because they don't know the fuck they are. You're
making monsters with
your imagination. Well, that's what cult leaders do, right? That's how you
start a sex cult.
How? Same way. You got to take these people and like put it in their head that
this is what they do.
Oh, right. You put it in their head. Right. Yeah, that's right. You say you see
it. Yes. I see it in
you. Well, in this book, I told you about this book, Chaos, Tom O'Neill's book
on Manson and the CIA.
Yeah. Did I tell you about this? No, I saw your tweet about it. Oh my God, dude.
What is it? Oh my God.
Manson was tied up with the CIA. Oh my God. Almost definitely a part of these
fucking psychedelics,
uh, LSD experiments that they were doing on hippies. Almost definitely
experimented on him,
probably in prison, but almost definitely allowed him to get out of when he
violated his parole,
let him loose, let him free, supply him with acid. Yeah. Monitor him. They were
monitoring him every
step of the way. They like fed that monster. They knew that this guy had been
incarcerated half his
life. He was a con man and they taught him how to be a cult leader. They taught
him how to be a cult
leader and they probably talked him into or taught him how to talk people into
killing people and to do
so with acid. And they would dose him up and he would make people do all kinds
of shit. Like it would
take people like, okay, you're going to fuck her and he's going to fuck him.
And they would put,
they would put together these orgies. He would put together orgies. I mean, he
would sodomize
kids in front of, in front of them, like horrific shit. Fucked up. Yeah. Yeah.
He was like some
boy that was like 15 years old. He did crazy, crazy shit. They were all on acid.
They all, they committed
murder. He, he directed them to commit murder, but all of this very connected
to the CIA's
MK ultra project. All of it. Yeah, man. Very connected to multiple different,
in multiple
different ways, connected to LSD and hippies, LSD and mind control, LXD, trying
to come up with a
Manchurian candidate, trying to get someone to commit murder and not even
realize they did it. Also
connected to Lee Harvey Oswald because Jack Ruby was all fucked up on that
program when he killed
Lee Harvey Oswald and afterwards went completely insane, was seen by the very
same doctor that was
running the clinic where Manson used to go. This guy was a CIA doctor, was a
psychologist or a
psychiatrist dosing people up with LSD, running studies on prisoners, getting
students to run studies,
getting scientists to run studies, not even knowing they were doing it through
the CIA. Kaczynski too,
don't forget. Oh yeah, Kaczynski. How about Operation Midnight Climax, ran
brothels in San
Francisco and a couple other places where they dosed people up with acid and
watched them fuck. How dare
they name it that? I don't know, Midnight Climax. That's so dumb. It sounds
like, you know,
it sounds like, that sounds like the name of like porn in a hotel that you
could watch.
Yes, like a secret agent that sucks everyone's dick. Midnight Climax. Whoever
named that,
that really tells you a lot about the program. But like, you know, man, the,
here's a controversial
fucking thing to say, which someone reminded me of a while ago, which really
freaked me out, kind of,
which is like, back then, when, like, they're what, like, right now we know a
little bit more about
some of the shit the CIA did. A lot of it because they put it on their website.
Yes. Which is so crazy to
me. They just put it up on their website, which is crazy. And it, but back then...
But what stuff did
they put up on their website? Dude, are you fucking kidding? Like all the shit
about the remote viewing
experiments they did? Like it's, they just... I interviewed that main guy that
they had
for remote viewing. Yeah. Wasn't that a fucking famous guy? Uh, John. This is
one famous guy that I interviewed.
He's like famous in the remote viewing world. I know, I know you're talking...
The guy who wrote
the movie or didn't write it, but the documentary... Man Who Stares at Goats.
Was he the guy who talked
about a kill shot or that's what the name for the thing that happens when the
sun fucks up? It didn't
fuck up. I mean, who am I to say the sun fucked up, but for us it fucked up.
Does like a, not a supernova,
but just uh, does a big ass flare that like, kind of like melts whatever side
of the earth happens to be
facing it? You know, that's like the kill shot that a lot of these remote
viewers were apparently
saying that they were seeing because they, they were realizing that they could
actually, they weren't
sort of bound by time and these visions and they all started sharing this
vision of this thing. It's
really a creepy, creepy documentary out there, man. But that's out a hundred
percent
on the table. Like some giant solar flare, some solar incident. That's a
hundred percent on the table.
Hey, have we, by the way, I'm sorry if we talked about this the last episode,
have we talked about
the CIA's website yet? What about their website? Have you ever gone to it? No.
Jamie, would you mind
pulling that up? I've applied for a job. Why do I have to do this? You applied
for a job with the CIA? Well,
I want to, I was stoned and it was late at night and I'm like, wait, you can
apply online?
Check it out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ask Molly? There's a cartoon? Yeah. Hold
on, back up.
This is the CIA's website. Ask Molly, your CIA source on the inside and it's #AskMollyHale.
And Molly
Hale is like a hot agent. This week's Ask Molly Hale question comes from a
writer who wants to know
if there is a path forward for them at CIA since they have done illegal drugs
in the past. They took my
question! That's your question. No, I'm just kidding. It seems like it's your
question. Since they have
done illegal drugs in the past, let's see what Molly's answer is. Let's see
Molly's answer. So it says,
find Molly's answer. What does Molly say? Dear eager to serve. Let me be clear
on this from the get-go.
Having previously used illegal drugs does not immediately disqualify you from
working at CIA.
If working for CIA is your life's goal, and we certainly hope it is, there
could be a path for you here.
With that said, there are certain restrictions you should be aware of,
especially if you've used
illegal drugs within the past year. Generally speaking, to be eligible for CIA
employment,
applicants must not have used illegal drugs within the past 12 months. Ah, damn.
Shit. This is, as with most things, a general rule by which to gauge your
higher ability. That's not
a word, kids. Is that a typo?
Not only an applicant, but as the potential holder of a security clearance. It
might seem a bit archaic,
but consider the access to information we're giving at CIA employees. Oh, and
consequences of granting access
to the wrong person. How much access to information? Just read that real quick.
It might seem a bit archaic,
but consider the access to information we're giving at CIA, giving CIA
employees. What access are you
giving them? You're in a simulator. That's probably the first thing they say
after you get hired.
They're like, it's a simulator. We're just doing like what the programmer wants.
It's like, I know you're
going to freak out for two months. We're going to give you like a protocol of
antidepressants because
you can go nihilistic or absurdist when you realize you're just a string of
code that's running, but
you'll get over it. And then there's an egg. You can go, the thing reads your
mind. It's kind of cool.
We'll show you that later. Officers regularly handle classified information,
which if leaked could spell
disaster for national security and endanger the life of CIA officers. This is
my favorite word. Assets and
their family. Assets is one of my favorite words they use. We have an asset in
Jerusalem. An asset?
You got an asset? Yeah. Is it a person? You know a guy? Yeah, well, he's an
asset. He's an asset.
Yeah. He's like a number? Like what's an asset? An asset is like stocks. You
got an asset?
You got a stock. I got stock in Palestinians. I got some Palestinians. I've
saved up. I've got some
assets. Just some people you connected with. I connect with them. They're my
assets. Yeah.
Now you may be wondering, that's all fine, Molly, but I live in a state where
marijuana use was legalized
under state law. So why would any of this really apply in my case? The short
answer is
or would any of this really apply in my case? The short answer is
yes. Marijuana remains illegal under federal law in every state. The CIA is
bound by federal law,
which prohibits CIA from granting security clearances to unlawful users of
controlled substances,
including marijuana. State laws do not supersede those of the federal
government. The great lord who
looks over the land with an iron fist. For more information regarding the
federal government security
clearance guidelines regarding drug use and other considerations, you can check
out the
right now. What if the next line was like, hey, what's up, Joe? That's cool.
You're showing this on
your podcast. No, it's a simulation. But I do think like in there is they're
also kind of saying like,
that being said, if you can set on fire with your mind or something when you're
stoned,
come talk to us. It's like, you know what I mean? There are saying like, the
other cool thing when you look
at him applying for a job is it says, uh, after you apply, don't tell anybody
you apply for the job.
We'll like approach you regarding the job, which is so fucking cool. You can't
talk about it when you
apply. Meanwhile, they're absolutely checking your phone. They're checking your,
I applied and like,
I just leaned into the fact that like, fuck it. They're going to look at
everything I do.
And then also like imagining that at some point, some CIA agent might come up
to me like, hey,
what's up, man? Hey, what's going on? Did you really want to be a bookkeeper at
the Pentagon? No,
I wanted to meet a CIA agent, dude. Hello. Because I mean, you know, wouldn't
you like to meet?
I know one. You know a CIA agent? I've had him on the podcast multiple times.
Mike Baker. He does
a lot of consulting for TV shows and security stuff. So you're, you, you are in,
and is he working for
them now? No. Well, he, yeah, he's a former CIA operative. What does that mean?
Do you really
think they ever stopped talking to each other? No, no. He does security
clearance stuff and security
stuff. He's got a whole, has a security company. Did he? So, so wait, so this
guy, did you ask him
about the Manson shit? No, I just found out about this shit really recently.
Fitzsimmons told me
about this guy. Tom O'Neill was his neighbor for like 20 years. He was
neighbors with Greg and Greg
the whole time he was doing this book while Greg was friends with him. Right.
It took him 20 years
to write this book. Started out as an article for Premier Magazine. And then as
he started uncovering
all these inconsistencies with the trial, he realized that there was kind of a
bullshit trial
and that the prosecuting attorney, like everybody had, there was, there was
deals that everybody had made
to have a specific narrative go through. And, uh, Susan Atkins, one of the, one
of the people from the
Manson family who's on trial, her, her fucking defense attorney was like a
former prosecuting attorney
that had worked with Vincent Bugliosi and all these other people before. They
were all buddies.
Wow. And they signed him to her to take over for her state appointed attorney.
This guy took over
and like just, they just, they followed directions. Like everybody followed
directions. And as he was
going deeper and deeper into the story, he realized like there was a lot of
crazy shit that was going
on. That first of all, Manson for sure was let out of jail multiple times when
he shouldn't have been.
When he was violating parole, he was let out of jail repeatedly for crazy shit
like theft and, you know,
and they, they were monitoring these people. They knew where they were staying.
They knew the ranch,
the spawn ranch where they were staying at. They never did anything. They let
them, they let them go
whenever they were in trouble and most likely got him the fucking LSD.
Have you looked up the finders cult yet? What is that one?
I don't even want, I shouldn't even brought it up. I'm not even doing a good
job with this. That last
description because I didn't think I was going to talk about it. But this thing
blew my mind. Like
you got to listen to this audio book. Listen to the audio book or just even
maybe just listen to some
of the podcasts and you'll get sucked in. This guy was obsessed with this for
20 years. It's all he
thought of. It's all he did. It was his life's work. Do you, do you, okay, you
had the CIA agent you had on.
He's cool, right? He seems like a good guy. Is he your friend? I like the guy.
So, and, and you
know what's so bizarre and like, I'm, I don't even want to say it, but I think
it's like, because you
say it and then people see you say it and they're like, see, you're all in the
CIA. But something
Rick, you know, I was bitching to Rick Doblin about on a podcast and I was like
doing this thing
I used to do when I was younger, which is like trying to create a all evil, all
good binary regarding
people who work like in the CIA or people who work in the, even the DEA or
whatever that thing
you do when you're like, when you're, when you're being lazy and your way of
thinking, right?
Being binary, right.
And, and Doblin, one of the things he said to me that I've always kept with me
is he's like,
there's, there's people like us, like all the way to the top, you know, there's
people who like,
look at drug laws right now. And to people from the CIA listen to this podcast.
Right. Yeah. I know. I know of that.
Right. So it's like, I mean, yeah, listen to this podcast.
That's what I'm saying, man. It's like the thing that the thing that's somewhat
annoying in the sense
that it requires nuance rather than like a, a heavy handed, they're all evil is
some of the people in
there are really like 100% trying to keep at least people here from getting
blown the up.
Yes.
And that, that, and like, they're not like, like, oh God, like, can we, let's
find another man.
And now we gotta, you know, exactly.
But it's, you know, I went and got this tour of actually JPL, the place Parsons
was that man.
And like, uh, I think it was BP or shell or some like oil company that I had
like,
just generally we all look at the oil companies and think they're, they're the,
they're all the
worst while, you know, while you're driving in your car, you'll be like these
oil companies.
But like the, the, um, they were working on some kind of new solar panel
technology.
It was like shell or I don't remember which company it was.
I remember saying to the guy like this technology, if it works, doesn't this
destroy the oil industry?
Like, don't they know they're working on a technology that's going to make the
thing they
make money selling and buying irrelevant.
And he's like, oh no, these companies are so big that there's departments
within departments
within departments.
And that's where it gets fucking crazy about the CIA, which is like they, the
people in the CIA
don't know, obviously all the people in the CIA, that's your security clearance.
And the question is how deep does that basement go man under the CIA?
But here's also the question.
Yeah.
How are you going to find out what happens when people take LSD without giving
people LSD and
studying them?
Ready?
Go.
You're not.
So if you're in 1953, okay, and you're finding out about LSD and people are
taking LSD at parties
and people are taking LSD at concerts and you start realizing the ramifications
of
a society in 1964 that's all taking LSD.
And you see this hippie movement, you're going to run some studies.
So then you're going to give people the ability to test people without their
knowledge.
You don't know how crazy that guy is, what kind of a sociopath that guy is.
And he's going to run tests on people without their knowledge and give them LSD.
And then there's going to be people that say, hey, you know, we want to infiltrate
all these
anti-war groups.
We want to infiltrate the Black Panthers.
We want to infiltrate these hippies.
Yeah.
How can we do that?
Well, here's how we do that.
We take this guy.
We got him in prison for half of his fucking life in federal prison so far.
He's 32 years old.
Yeah.
Let's dose this motherfucker up with LSD.
Let's run some studies on him.
And let's tell him that he's a cult leader and get him to make some apocalyptic
fucking
death cult that wants to kill people and write pig on the wall in their blood.
And so they let Manson, they knew where he was.
They knew he was getting acid.
They knew that he was probably having people kill people.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
First of all, to go back, man, if you really study the spread of LSD and the
popular culture,
it wasn't that the CIA saw people taking LSD at parties.
It's that the CIA, as I understand the story,
goes and buys from Sandoz Laboratories all of their LSD and then begins to do
tests on college
campuses where people begin to take the LSD and then the parties start.
So I think it's more like the CIA started the party when it comes to LSD,
or at least were majorly involved in the initial experience people had with LSD,
which was like, that's when, that's when you get Tim Leary.
That's when you get Richard Alpert, you know, Ram Dass.
That's, they were both like hanging out at Harvard where the same psychology
professor
who did this shit on Kaczynski was and like LSD, you know, that's, they were
doing,
I don't know if they were doing the LSD test there, but these tests were going
on.
They were being exposed to LSD that theoretically, I don't know if it came from
the CIA or not,
but I don't know like where the, I think that actually those tests were,
they were ordering it from Sandoz, but for sure, like who wrote one flew over
as the cuckoo's nest?
Damn it. I can't believe I can't remember that author's name.
Ken Kesey.
Yeah. Ken Kesey. He, he did one of the CIA LSD. He was in one of the CIA LSD
experiments. So like,
Oh, that makes sense.
And, and, but, and also man, like back then, I don't think because we didn't
get the Manson,
the Kaczynski or all the awful shrapnel, weird shards of chaos that exploded
off of the crazy,
unethical shit they did. I don't know if there was so much of an idea that they
were evil. I could be
wrong about that, but they weren't even called the CIA. I think they were
called the OSS in the
beginning. Yeah. But by the time they were, they were, the CIA was running a
fucking clinic in
Haight-Ashbury that closed down after like 30 years of being open or 40 years
of being open,
closed down three months after this book came out. I'm like, well, that's a
wrap. Yes. Yeah.
Jolly West, the same guy who visited, um, uh, Jack Ruby in the hospital. And
after he left,
Jack Ruby went insane. He was crawling underneath the table and thought that
Jewish
children were getting lit on fire and cut apart in the streets and a new
Holocaust was going on.
Fuck. Immediately, immediately he has to, they, they have no record of him
acting insane before this
at all. He didn't even understand why he shot Lee Harvey Oswald. That's so
fucked up. Yeah. Well,
they, they think that the same thing happened with Sirhan Sirhan, the guy who
shot Robert, uh,
Robert Kennedy. They think that he was under the influence as well because he
had the same
reaction after he shot him. Like, why am I here? What happened? That they used
LSD to somehow
or another get these people to commit atrocities, to, to kill people, to murder
people. Yeah. I mean,
yeah. And you can, what's probably, you can probably, I know you can, if we go
on the CIA,
the crazy thing is you can go on their website, look at the freedom of
information act archives and they
have MK ultra up there right now that you can look at. That's where it gets
really weird is it's like,
they're like, yeah. Yeah. But they never admit that they gave people. That was
the thing about
Jolly West. He never admitted that he gave people LSD and did studies on them.
Never admitted it. I think
while he was alive, at least. I mean, I don't know if they're, they're
admitting it now because of the
freedom of information. Well, they must because operation midnight climax is
that's officially historical
record. Yeah. Yeah. So they must be now, but when they were, when you know,
they were operating this
clinic, Manson and the family were going into that clinic all the time. There's
a direct, there's a
hundred percent direct connection between the CIA doctors who are providing LSD
to the hippies and
Manson going to this clinic. That is, dude, this book is crazy. Man, that does
not sound like pandemic
reading to me. That's the best. Are you sure? Go deep. I don't know, man. Like
I'm dealing,
like I'm already like weirded out by like just bad understanding of astronomy.
It's like,
you know what I mean? Like, I don't know that I need to like get into that shit
about the CIA,
especially cause it's like, you know, I don't know. It's just too much, you
know? That being said,
I'm going to definitely fucking read that book. Well, just, uh, listen to the
podcast. That's the
easiest. You'll, you'll get your dick wet, listen to the podcast, and then you're
going to want to
listen to the audio book or read the book. But he has, uh, 60 pages of citations
and references at the
end of the book to show each thing and how he can prove it. Like it's, these
are not,
this is not, he's got some speculation that he entertained at the very end of
the book.
And we talked about it on the podcast, but the stuff that he knows for sure to
be true
is bonkers. Can I ask you a question that will probably get made into like a
YouTube clip
accusing you of being an asset of the CIA? Sure. So, okay, let's imagine this
one day you get
contacted by somebody who's in the CIA and they show you convincing data
regarding something,
you know, whatever it may be, meteor impact, some other impending danger that
is like, you look at it
and it's like, whatever it is they give you, you, you believe it. And they're
like, listen,
Joe, we know you're like, we know that you're like a wild animal and we know
that like, you're,
you don't want to be dishonest. And we understand that, but we got to figure
out a way to get this
kind of information out to the world. Because if we don't like it, it's going
to be really bad.
And we're just going to, to people like you and just trying to get whatever the
thing is,
they want you to say a little thing, an idea of how they want you to be. And
the, they're not
offering you money. They're not offering you money there. And they're also like
saying like,
don't worry if you say no, did you get that job at the CIA? Excuse me? Did I
get the job?
Did you get that job that you applied for? No, it seems like you're priming me.
What?
For your, you're, you're going to give me a suggestion later.
Listen, I know what you're doing, man. Joe,
have you ever thought of a blue butterfly, Joe?
Yeah. Yeah. But seriously, what would your response be if like, someone's like,
look,
we just need your help. Listen, I think central intelligence agency, I think
FBI, I think,
I think the DEA, I think they're all necessary. I don't think they're
unnecessary. I think that
most of what they're doing is trying to protect us. Let's do the Illuminati
logo for the YouTube.
I do think also that some of those guys turn into fucking cowboys and try to
fly coke back from
Mexico and crash CIA jets. Right. That's true too. Yes. All that shit that
happened in Mena, Arkansas,
you know, all that shit that happened when Clinton was governor, with Barry Seals,
when they were running coke back and forth and dropping off in Mena, Arkansas.
Yeah. That guy was a CIA
contractor. There's a lot of those guys that were CIA. Look, they got
compromised, I think. But that
doesn't mean the whole CIA is bad. It doesn't mean we don't need a CIA. Man, if
you talk to people,
if they're honest, I don't know if they're, let's just assume they're honest.
If you talk to people
that deal with trying to infiltrate terrorist groups and deal with tracking
terrorists and deal with
trying to figure out if someone's trying to make a dirty bomb, trying to figure
out if someone's ready
to blow up a mall and they're doing this actively every day, all day, that's
essential. Right. That's
essential. So the CIA, oh, fucking MKUltra, they dose people at whorehouses.
That's not the same people.
Okay. This is a giant organization that's been around for a long fucking time.
Right. What you're
hearing about from Jolly West and the MKUltra, those people are dead. Those are
not alive today. But you
know who is alive today? ISIS. You know who is alive today? A lot of threats
all around the world. You
know who is alive today? Kim Jong-un, the leader of China, all these fucking
dictators that are,
they're heavily armed all over the world. There's a lot of them. Right. You got
to keep an eye on those
motherfuckers. Right. If you don't think you have to keep an eye on them, you're
crazy. Right.
Well, the CIA is evil. No, no, no, no. Humans are evil. And sometimes you need
someone who's paying
attention to the evil people. Right. Yeah. That's what you need. Now, does that
mean that they're not
going to stray across the lines of what is correct and good and fair and start
spying on regular
people too? No, it doesn't mean that. Right. It means that shit needs to be curbed.
That shit's
un-American. Right. But if you think someone might be a terrorist, like you
should be able to find out
before they blow up a fucking school. Totally. Right. 100%. 100%. So the
question is,
how good are these people at walking that line? Turns out pretty fucking good.
Turns out pretty
fucking good. There's a bunch of shit that's happened over time, but also they've
gotten intel
on all these different terrorists and all these different fucking terrible
situations all over the
world and probably saved a lot of people. Right. Like it's not perfect, but
nothing's perfect.
There's not a fucking thing that's perfect, whether it's the fucking post
office or police officers
or fire department or doctors. No one's perfect. Right. Including the CIA,
including the FBI,
including the army, the navy. There's going to be problems. Right. But overall,
they're trying to
protect. I would imagine if I had to ask, like, what are you guys here for? To
make sure the
shit doesn't hit the fan. Pay attention to the shit. Pay attention. Do some of
them branch out into
coke business? Yes. I'm sure some of them sell coke. Of course. I'm sure there's
someone for the
federal government that's selling guns to a bad guy right now. I'm sure. I'm
sure. People are
people. If you've got a million people, you're going to get 30 bad ones or
whatever the fuck the
number is. It's just part of life. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I mean, all... You're a
CIA apologist. I set you up.
I don't believe a word of what I just said. Come on, man. What about my bonus?
You took that job.
Come on, man. You know I get a big bonus for the... You took the job.
Like, you know, I don't... Yeah. You're wearing a wire, bro. You don't have to
wear a wire anymore.
Just carry your phone. I'm wearing a wire on a podcast. I'm monitoring you, Joe.
Imagine if, like,
you got, like, too close to the mic. It's like, heee. Jamie's like, hmm.
Dude... Interference. That's... When I was a kid growing up, that was always
one of... Like, when I was at the beach,
that was always, like, something I'd fantasize about. It's like, fuck, I hope
one of those drug bags
washes up, man. You know, do you ever wonder, like, how many of those wash up
that people don't report?
You know, whenever I hear about someone who's like, oh my god, I found a briefcase
full of cocaine.
Like, why are you... That's... God, that's grace. Like, something is, like,
delivered unto you,
this bizarre thing, at the very least. Pure. Like, you know, I'm not a fan of
coke myself.
It, like, makes me... I hate it, in fact. Yeah, but if you got some of that
Ozzy Osbourne from the 70s coke, do you know how good that shit would be?
CIA cocaine. Yes. Remember when we would talk about government weed?
Government weed was good. Oh, yeah. Unlike the cheese. Oh, yeah.
Like, government cheese is terrible, but government weed. Dude, he's got that
government weed.
Whoa. Do you remember that? Yeah, I do, man.
I completely forgot about that. That was the thing. Back when weed was illegal,
you wanted to shit, the government was growing. Whoa. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Well, cause, for sure, by the way, you know, there's a, there's, like, I guess
at the CIA,
there's a layer of all the sober people who've, like, haven't gotten high for a
year. Which whoever's
writing that fucking thing is definitely, like, laughing as they're writing it,
you know?
They're, like, just laughing because they're so fucking high, and they're like,
like, all right, we'll just say it. No, they test, man.
They test. Well, there's a level they test, but you know, there's a level where
you get past that
level and, like, listen, the no drug stuff, please. We want you to have a good
time. This is a fun job.
Like, we know that you're, you can handle your shit. We just have to do that
level below you,
because otherwise, the last thing you need is another fucking Manson. You know
what I always think
about when I think of someone infiltrating a terrorist group? What? That scene
in Team America,
World Police, where the actor has the fucking terrible outfit on. We need
actors to save the world.
Do you remember? Yeah, dude.
I always think of that. If I think about anybody infiltrating a terrorist group,
I think of that guy.
Yeah, well, you know what? This, again, we don't have to worry about that. That,
to me, is a
fucking great thing. I don't have to worry about that. I don't have to worry
about infiltrating a
terrorist group. Right. Can you imagine if it was--
You remember? He was so good at acting. They just let him look so bad,
and they just, they just believe him, and he walks right through. Oh, my God.
What a great movie. This movie's amazing. Yeah. This movie's amazing. Folks, if
you've never seen
Team America: World Police, I probably laugh harder in this movie than any
movie I've ever seen in my life.
It is so good. Team America: So good. What a great name. World Police.
And then, also, after you see the movie, go online and find the sex scenes that
they had to delete.
So, first of all, these guys are geniuses, and what they figured out is that if
you just add way more
than you really want, they let you have what you want. You gotta add stuff like
they, I think she
shit on his chest. Right. They pissed all over each other. They fuck like crazy.
So it's a, it's a
plastic doll sex scene that's so, so crazy and graphic. And then, when you
watch it in the movie,
it's like a fraction of this, because they just, they just went so far. They're
69ing each other.
That is ridiculous. Yeah.
And she's sucking his, like, violently sucking him off. And they just keep so,
they did this so that they
could have some of it in there. I mean, it's so long and so crazy. And then,
once you think it's over,
then they start pissing and shitting all over each other too. Oh, wow.
Doesn't it keep going? Yeah, this is, this is the clip from the actual movie.
Oh, that's from the actual movie. Oh, what?
So that's how much they left in. That's something much they left in because
they cut out,
they got so savage with the sex scene that they let them keep the most preposterous
amount in there
because it was so far past that. They just tricked them. They used like sleight
of hand.
Dude, that must have been so funny filming that.
Like that. I think it took a long time. I'm sure it did.
Yeah. Trey Parker was saying in some interview that he would never do that
again.
Like that's too bad. Stop motion. Yeah, because dude, Team America World Police
is one of the
funniest movies of all time. For sure. And you could, there's so much in that
movie,
like what they do with South Park that you could never do with a human,
but you can do it with either a doll or a cartoon easily. And it's amazing.
Like death,
death scenes, like you killed Kenny. You couldn't have a guy just die every
week on a sitcom. People
were like, this is freaking me the fuck out. Yeah. But he doesn't even look
remotely real. So he could cut his head off.
He can light on fire. He can blow up an explosion. Yeah. You can definitely get
away with a lot more in
that regard for sure. Get away with everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's the, it's a
genius way to do comedy.
I don't know. I mean, I like South Park is like, it's eerie to me and their
ability to
quickly animate shit that's maintains its relevance. Like it's, it's insane
that they're able to do that.
Like they've got it down to that level of like, oh shit, something happened in
the world and we're
going to respond to it almost instantly. Not only that, they do it mockingly,
but accurately.
Like they, they figure out how to ride that line and have, what are you
laughing at? I just saw a scene
I've never seen before from it. I'm looking for the lead scene. Let's see it. I
thought it,
I thought it was fan made, but it's not, it's like a, this is Meryl Streep and
this is Ben Affleck.
They made Matt Damon and Ben Affleck really fucking dumb in that movie. Right?
Oh yeah. I'm Matt Damon. Yeah.
Matt Damon's actually very smart. Yeah. So rude, but it doesn't matter. They
could just do that. Yeah. They could do anything.
Yeah. When you have like cartoons and puppets, you could fucking do anything.
Dude. I mean, that's the, but except anything you want to do takes forever. I
mean, that is the problem.
It's like, yeah, you could do anything, but that anything is like, you know,
months of anythingness.
So it's like clearly easier to film shit or just to say it. Or, I mean, the
fact that they used hands,
God only knows how much money that saved them. Like that decision to just do
that, how much time that
probably saved them. Who knows? Like those kinds of like decisions and shows
like that are like really
smart and funny. Yeah. I, but yeah, animation is like, I mean, it is spellbinding.
It is. He's eating her ass. Slightly longer. This is longer.
It's not much different to be honest with you though. No,
but there's the shit in the piss scene. I thought so, but it's not coming up on
here.
What? Oh, there it is. Wait a minute. Go back. There it is. She drops a log in
his face.
There it is. Perfect. And then I think she pisses on him too, right? It's
actually right before that.
Oh, she, oh, he pisses on her and then she shits in his face. Yeah.
How many people you think do that? If you look at the whole population, like
the entire population,
like a little light went off every time someone was shitting on someone's head.
How many times that happened? I bet you could light up a small town.
It's mostly the girl shitting on the guy's head, right?
Would you imagine most of it is like a girl, a guy wanting a girl to shit on
his head?
Mostly. 100%. I mean, look up. If you look, here's a, if you look, not shit.
Isn't this interesting though? What I was going to say is it's, it doesn't, I
don't feel bad at all about that.
Like, I don't feel like he's getting shit on. I feel like he wanted to get shit
on and he got shit on.
So I'm not mad at her at all. But if a guy was just, my thing is like shit on
women's heads.
I'd be like, that guy's a piece of garbage. What the fuck, man?
Why are you doing that?
And the girls, they just look, they want a thousand bucks. He wants to shit on
their head.
They make a deal and he just shits on people's heads. I would feel like that
guy's disgusting.
But the girl who shit on the guy's head, obviously the guy wanted it.
The guy, it's easier to think a guy wants to get his head shit on than a girl.
It's not, like a guy, like if you told me, hey, you know that guy that used to
be on that sitcom?
He likes, he pays girls to shit on his head. I'd be like, okay, that makes
sense.
Dude, I know how much it costs. I'm just kidding. There is, there's probably a
market for it, right?
Depends on how good you want her English to be. Yeah, there's some giant German
lady who comes over and just dumps on your head.
There's probably a negotiation. Like, there's probably a dude who's actually
had the conversation.
He's like, really? Like 2,000 bucks? Like, are you kidding? Like, I never pay
more than 1,200 for someone to shit on my head.
Maybe they like, they'll give a little extra if they let the, they're allowed
to pick your diet.
I want you to only eat Indian food. Oh God. Just curry. Yeah.
I want to smell the curry when you shit in my face. Have you seen those, have
you seen those videos,
the fetish videos of people who like to look at videos of people getting stuck
in mud?
Do you know about that fetish? No. Have you heard about that? Oh dude, it's
like, I don't know,
can we show it without, look up YouTube stuck in, people stuck in mud.
People are into people that get stuck in the mud? Yeah, yeah, it's like a fetish.
Like, it's like,
and there's all these videos of people like, if you found, I mean like. So the
humans are stuck in mud,
like walking and then someone comes along and fucks their mouth or something?
Well, no, it, no,
it's just someone stuck in mud. Like at first you look at it and it looks like,
why did that dude just
throw himself in that swampy mud? And then he gets out of the mud or they'll
start just like wiggling
around in the mud. And like, yeah, it's crazy. Oh my God. Well, uh, okay. I
found something,
but it's not, it could be an evolution of car stuck girls, but maybe not. Car
stuck girls? Like girls
that are stuck with their car, like they need help and then. Oh, like a porn?
Someone needs help and
they're in a helpless position. I don't know. That's always in a movie, right?
The guy's waiting in the
bushes with a gun and the girl's standing there with their hood up and the guy
runs on. Hey,
give me a keys. Yeah. It's on YouTube. Sorry, man. I thought you were looking
in like porn. I don't
even know if it's on porn. I typed in stuck in mud fetish videos and then there's
a lot of like
car forums. Like what's up with all these girls getting stuck in the mud?
Like what the fuck's happening? Now, are they getting stuck in the mud with
their legs? No,
no, it's like the automobile. Yeah, like a BMW. The one I've seen is mostly
primarily dudes. Like
it's like. Oh, guys get stuck in the mud and then other guys come out and help
them? No,
there's no other guy. It's just like a guy like, you know, the La Brea Tarpitz?
Yes. It's just that,
but with a like guy with abs. Oh my God. Who's like, oh, he's yelling. They're
just like,
you know, like they're just stuck in mud. How weird. Yeah. Yeah. People are so
strange. It's a,
it's a, that fetish is a really interesting one, but I think any, you know, you're
kind of lucky if
that's your fetish. Yeah. There's a lot of mud out there, man. It's like, that's
a,
that's a good fetish. It doesn't seem like you're hurting anybody. Yeah. No,
unless you pay someone to go get stuck in mud and like they like sink down into
quicksand or
something. Well, do you think that the people that, are they fantasizing about
themselves being stuck in
mud? Don't know. I don't know. Right. It's open interpretation. It could be
they're just
really into watching hot guys that get stuck. Someone's filming it. And they
jerk off while they're like,
you fucking loser. Can't get out of that mud, you fucking loser. Look at that
beautiful mud.
I don't know if this is one. It says 130,000 views and it says what you said.
Blonde girl gets stuck in very sticky mud. Yeah. But you notice like,
it's not like they're trying to get out. That's at first you're honest. She
looks like the kind of
girl that would just give up. Like, I don't think she's that stuck. Like, come
on. You're not that
stuck. I'm fucking stuck. I can't see. Just done. Yeah. Just done. Yeah. How
much did they pay her to do
this? 50 bucks? I don't know. How much do they have to pay you? How much do
they pay me for my
mud videos? No, no, no. If you wanted to do a mud video. They want you to do a
mud video like that. Free?
Just give me a good patch of mud. I'll go in it. Why not? Oh, this is a cute
Asian girl. Chinese girl
gets stuck in mud with cute sneakers. Oh no. She's got cute sneakers. She's
gonna walk right in the mud with
those cute sneakers. Honey, those are valuable. Yeah. What are you doing? These
are great,
Jamie. I haven't seen any of these. Like, I'm an expert. These are new. They're
so weird. Yeah,
it's a weird, it's a very strange fetish. I don't know if it's like, maybe it's
like an ASMR thing or
something. Maybe they, you know, maybe it's not even like sexual. It's just
something in it. It's like
relaxing. Dude, she took her shoes off. It's sexual. Yeah, that's true. She's
got her feet.
She's moving around, getting all squirted. You're a dirty girl with your dirty
feet.
Dirty feet in the mud. Yeah, look at her. She's getting down that dirt. She
lost a sock.
Yeah, this is weird. Weird, man. Imagine this is your whole life and you like,
you go on the forums and
you're talking about, you guys got any new squishy feet in the mud videos? Yeah,
that'd be really weird,
Joe. So Jamie, let's pull up something about the news. I mean, again, why, here's
a real question.
Here's a weird question. Why is that so strange, but like someone who collects
stamps,
that's normal. Right. Some guy who loves, oh, there's your answer. He dressed
up like a Nazi
and he goes all the way to his head. Still smoking too. He's like quicksand. Is
he in quicksand?
Is that what that is? Yeah, this is a whole playlist of mess, mud and quicksand.
You remember when people
were terrified of quicksand and then it stopped being a thing? Now this, there's
a whole Radiolab podcast
about that. It's really interesting because you hear the podcast, you go, oh
yeah, I remember
like people were scared of quicksand and then all of a sudden it went away. I
forget what their
reasoning is. Well, when we were kids, that was like one of the ways you could
die. It's quicksand.
And sometimes you would like, if you're out in the woods and there was a
suspicious patch,
you might even poke it with a stick because it's like, that's, that was a whole
trope in like old
movies. Yeah. You know, like Tarzan stuck in the quicksand or you're in the
quicksand then you,
someone throws a vine that you pull yourself out. Exactly. That's in like 80
different movies.
What are you supposed to do if you were really in quicksand? You're supposed to
treat it like it's
water and swim, right? I've, there's videos on it. No? Jamie says no? Go. Jamie,
are you in quicksand?
No, there's videos on it. I was going to say I've seen one recently. So if you
end up stuck in quicksand,
the best thing to do is, is if your phone isn't fucked up, set it up to take a
video and then send
that video to ilovemudboys@gmail.com. It's my private email. I will come to you.
Trust me. It seems like I won't get to you, but I will come to you. After I
come on you,
I'll get you out of the mud. I'll pull you out. Imagine that usually a thing. I
think you fall
backwards. You have a service and your service is you get people out of the mud
and you give
them 1200 bucks, but you got to jerk off on their face while they're trying to
get out of the mud.
Yeah. You go out there with like big mud shoes, like snowshoes, but only for
mud.
And you come out there and fucking whack one off in there. Okay. All right. We're
good. Deal's a deal.
And then you harness them up to a rope and you hitch it to your winch and drag
them out of the swamp.
Think of the bad luck. And you give them money though. Give them 1200 bucks.
Here's 1200 bucks.
Thank you. But to me, that's like the, that would be a great scene is like
somebody does get stuck in
quicksand and someone like they see boots and they're like, thank God, thank
God. And it is like a mud
fetishist. He's like, you know, like, no, I'll get to you. Don't worry. I'm
going to save you, but
just, you know, enjoy it for a second. What about this? What if the, the, the,
the real mud fetishes,
they set up traps. So they made their own mud holes. They dug them real deep
and use some real
silty, very fine sort of sand. Yeah. So if you get in there, you slide right in
like it's quick sand.
They have traps, they have traps and they've got like a little camera trap that
sends a text to their
phone and says, Oh, we got one. And then they, they start chewing on Viagra and
start getting their
dick hard. And then they run, dude, or like a spider, you've caught something
in its nest,
but you kind of fall in love with him, you know, and then you start dating them
and then like,
but then, then, you know, like all of a sudden you realize like everyone they've
dated, they've saved
from quicksand and you begin to realize like, Oh shit, they're doing it on
purpose. You go into,
you're looking for something like, um, does he have a flashlight? Let's see,
find some, go through
stuff here. Look for a flashlight and you find schematics for how to build the
perfect sand pit.
Oh, you motherfucker. You tricked me. It shows the water where the water's
coming
in to make the quicksand, you know, like need this amount of water to capture
200 pound man.
Like there's metrics based on weight. That's what he likes. He wants to get
like big burly,
like fireman type dudes and jerk off on their hair. That's the thrill. They're
trapped. He knows,
maybe like he knows calls for specific types of people. Like he knows what I'll
draw, man.
That's cr- Dude, um,
have you ever done one of those, like you've ever gone to a spa and in there
like, and they're like,
I don't fuck it. I'm going to do like, I'm going to get a massage. But then you
see in their catalog,
they've got a mud dip that you can go into that's somehow healthy for you. Like,
you know what I mean?
Like, it's a considered like a healthy thing. You laying it up to your head. It's
like,
you know what I'm talking about, man? Like it's like mud spots. Have you ever
done one of those?
No, I have not. They're fucking awful. Amazing.
Awful. Dude, I went in there because like, we, um, you know, I was with a,
I brought a girl, I was with my girlfriend at the spa and it looked, they made
it look all romantic
and shit. It's like a couple's mud dip. And like, you know, there's like
flowers in between them and
stuff and you see it in the picture and it looks somehow relaxing. Your brain
party's like, how could
that, how's that going to feel good? Like, it's like just sitting in mud, but
it looks kind of cool.
And you know, you're, I love getting stoned and getting massages. It's like, it
might be fun when
you're high, just be in mud. We got in these fucking things. They're like next
to each other. And like,
dude, like, yeah, they don't, number one, they don't reply. Look at this
picture. That's so stupid.
Ah, that was like it. They, somehow they make it. Whoever's doing this shake is
made, try like,
see if you can make them fake you. This is a normal thing for a couple to do.
And then also you realize
they don't change the mud. I'm pretty sure they don't refill the mud. Why would
they? It's dirty.
Yeah. Yeah. It's dirty. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. So the culture that came out of
some dude's balls
is all like mingling with your cultures and all that's like the breeding in the
mud.
Yeah, exactly, dude. And not only that, but like the ones that we were in,
I don't know if they heated it wrong or whatever, but anytime my ass touched
like close to the bottom,
it was burning my ass. So it was like the heater in the bottom, the heater in
the bottom was like
burning my ass. So I was having to do like this, I don't know what you call it,
like arch my back.
You're like doing dips. Yeah. I was like doing dips in the mud and then it's
hot as
so like my heart like starts racing. Also, I'm like, I was pretty high, but my
heart's like
my ass is like getting incinerated by this thing. Oh my God. You went to a janky
place.
Janky mud bath place. Not gonna argue. That's actually the name of the place. Janky's
mud bath place.
Where does the expression janky come from? Like a janky, like a shitty, a clunky
version.
That one might be racist. Gotta be careful. That one might be one of them
secret racist words
you didn't know was racist. You've been saying janky and they're like, well,
let me bring you back
to the genocide of the Iguam people. And Jesus, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be
surprised. What is the
etymology of janky? No idea. That's why I asked. Are you sure you don't know
Joe?
I definitely don't know. I'm a hundred percent innocent. What do we got?
He just dies. I just want to make sure that I'm not stepping over any
boundaries by using janky
because I want to be good ally. There's probably, it's probably not connected
anything. It just sounds
like a word. It sounds like a bad word. I think it was close to junky. Oh,
there you go. Switched to
janky. I'm trying to read through this quickly. That does offend me. I don't
like the term junky. Janky's good.
Janky's like, like you've got a car with a fucked up brake. You know, that's
this janky brake job.
It's not that old though. Only in the nineties is like the first time they
found it. I might have invented it.
Maybe if I did. Janky. It's African-American slang from the nineties. Yeah.
That makes sense.
That makes sense. Early citations in the nineties. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, who
wrote that?
Who wrote the article I'm looking at is like, I mean, I like, not that I know
them. It's just weird.
Someone like we hear a thing like that. We're like, all right, that must be
true. The first book they
found it in first that this person wrote the article said, Russ, the longest
war written by Jonathan
Waldman. By the way, I'm very much kidding. If you, if it wasn't clear, I don't
really think I made
that word up. I was joking. I can't find another one. It's amazing how attuned
you get to like comments
that you like, your brain is like, you're making. I just don't want anybody to
really, I was thinking
that like that could be misinterpreted. That's my word. I created it. What's
another great word that
they don't use anymore that I started using recently. Oh, fresh. I started
using fresh lately.
Like that looks fresh. Oh, I still like it. And I say it like that. I don't say
it with a normal voice.
Fresh. So it's like, that looks fresh. No, you don't. Yes, I do. When things
look good.
Fresh. Fresh. Things looking fresh. Oh, you get like a, yeah, I hear it in the
back. It gets like,
looks fresh. A little vibrato there. Fresh. It's a good word. It's a good word.
We need more
beautiful adjectives for cool shit. So I started bringing back fresh. Hey, what's
your, what like,
what's your like policy when like about cursing around your kids? Like, you
know, I gave up.
I gave up. You did? Yeah. I told them just don't swear. Don't swear around
other people.
There was too many times they caught me on the phone. Right. My nine-year-old
especially.
She's the one who's always correcting me. Hey, with your potty language. She
says that? Yeah. Yeah. She's
hilarious. She likes to correct me. I try not to say it as much as I would say
with you,
but every now and then I'm, I'll let a word fly or a word fly. But it has to
make sense. Dude.
The funniest story of what I realized I say it too much is when my daughter was
three. We were, uh,
we had gone skiing together and we were all packing up our stuff and her helmet
did not go in her bag.
It wasn't in her bag. And, uh, I'm like, all right, everybody packed up. And,
uh, uh,
I'm like, Hey, uh, your helmet and your bag. And she looks at the helmet,
looks at the bag and she just goes, "Shit."
She was three.
Seeing a little, and me and my wife were just like, Oh no.
It did it. Three. She, but that's the right word to use.
Shit. What are we doing? Like we, we aren't even in that world.
You and I are not even in that world. Like the world of, you can't say words.
All right.
You can't say that word at work. We don't even live in that world.
Yeah.
And yet we're raising our kids for that world. That seems to be, to be a little
crazy.
And I understand like, look, if I worked in an office somewhere or if I had to
deal with people
professionally, I wouldn't be dropping F bombs all day. You can't. People get
upset. They don't like it.
They want you to behave like a business person. They'll turn you into human
resources.
If you have a funny joke about Puerto Ricans, you can't, you can't. There's no
jokes.
There's no laughter. You can't. You gotta, so when you're telling your kids not
to say certain
words around other people, you're telling them that because you want them to be
polite.
You don't want people to feel uncomfortable, but you should never have them
think that there's
something wrong with those fucking words.
Right.
Those words are important and I can't really explain it to them because I can't
really say it the
way I want to say it. It would just be too sensitive. Like I couldn't say, I
can't say
sometimes when someone's telling you something that you know isn't true and
they're telling you,
you want to be able to look in the eye and go, Hey, that guy's a fucking idiot.
I can't say that to a nine year old. Right. It's just too intense. Right.
It's too intense. Right.
Like if you say this person's an idiot, that's one thing. But if you say this
person's a fucking idiot.
Yeah.
That's a different thing. It's another level of thing. And you need to know
what's what,
especially when the shit goes down. You need to know who's just a dummy and who's
a fucking idiot.
Right.
Right.
Some guys just make mistakes or they think they know better or they do
something stupid and it puts
everybody at risk. Yeah.
But they're not doing it on purpose. Right.
And then there's some people that think they want to run the whole show. Right.
Those people are fucking idiots. Right.
There's certain people that steal from you.
They'll break in your house when they know you're not home. Yeah.
Those people are fucking idiots. Right. I know what you mean.
Yeah. There's a different level. And if we don't use the right words,
then what do we do? We're going to limit a kid's ability to express themselves.
Right.
The words aren't changing. They're not changing you. They're not changing.
It's just another tool for expression and swear words like really swear words.
You're going to stop using swear words. You're going to make people upset about
swear words.
Get the fuck out of here. It's ridiculous. Yeah. No, no, no. I know, man. I
just like,
I get it. I, that's like kind of my, my wife and I have decided that.
And like some of my friends or parents have also said,
just teach them not to say those words, teach them to be nice or win the right
time to say those
words is. It's just like listening to like, I don't know, like this morning I
put on for no reason,
like 10 crack commandments and like my, then like my, my son was in the other
room and like he comes
walking in, like he's just learning to dance. And then I pick him up. He's
laughing and we're dancing.
And then I'm like, oh fuck, we're dancing to the 10 crack commandments right
now. Like he doesn't know
what, what, what's being said. But you know what I mean? It's like, fuck, I don't
know if I, even,
even, even, even though he doesn't, even the fact he probably hopefully doesn't
understand,
at least hopefully does it. I still like, I don't know that. It's like you're
saying it's too much.
The energy is too intense. It's too, it's very aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. There's
certain, there's,
you know, you don't, you want to shelter them a little bit from the, the, the
most dark shit.
Like you don't want to show your kid some murder movie, like the opening scene
of saving private
Ryan when they're four, you don't want to say, sit down. This is what happens
when people go to war.
This is the closest that we have that represents what war is like, right?
Seeing people's guts hanging out and legs blown off. You're not going to show
that to a four year old.
Never. All right. Me neither. That's what it seems like if I act like I act
with my friends
around little kids. So I, I, I pull it in a lot, a lot, but occasionally I'll,
I'll say a shit.
Sure. But I don't, I just try to, there's, there's words that I don't want to
lose.
Like I, and I, I don't, the only reason why I think a lot of like these swear
words,
like the F word or the shit word or whatever, if you're at work and you can't
say those like,
why not? Like, what is that? What kind of job is that? Like what, what are we,
we're,
we're all the grownups now. Remember when we were children,
we thought that there was a system that was put in place by enlightened beings
and these enlightened beings, the adults, they knew better. We resisted,
but we thought they eventually were correct.
Yes.
And then you get to be a certain age like, oh, that's nonsense. There's no
adults.
There's just people that got older. Right.
There's just people. So as people, the, the, that you have to limit your
language.
The only thing that's good is when someone who you don't expect to says,
get the fuck out of here when they say it's even better.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, sure.
A woman that you would think would be like, like very reserved, very
professional.
And she's like, that chick's a cunt. Like, you're like, no.
Yeah. I love that. When you realize someone you thought was a square is not
only not a square,
but like a million times more out there than you are, but they're like.
They're trapped.
Yeah. Or they're in camo. They just have like figured out a way to like not
reveal to you
or to the world that, because they, they like understood it's a little easier.
People don't
realize that unless you're around cool people, those are the best moments when
that window opens up.
And, and you realize, oh, fuck, man. I, I'm such a dope.
I had you completely pegged as something that you're not at all. And those are
really like,
whoa, fuck. What's that cough?
It's not real. It's a marijuana cough.
I know, man. I hate, I'm a hypochondriac, Joe, with allergies.
Everybody is now.
I have allergies. I have seasonal allergies. And, you know, anytime before this
was happening,
anytime I would get sick, I'd be like, well, this might be the end. And now
like all of us
who are like that, we're like, it's really intense, man. Cause like any
demonstration,
you know, I, my birthday was the other day. We got like, you know, they deliver
booze in LA now.
Like they'll deliver mixed drinks to you now.
They'll probably deliver bullets. You can probably get bullets brought to your
door now.
Hopefully not too fast, but I'm sorry.
Quick bullet delivery.
But yeah. Anyway, man, like, like I was just hung over, you know, but there was,
there was a moment where I'm like, is this a hangover? Am I, there is this like,
what's this
headache? And you know, what's going, that's the, to me, that's the part of
this thing that's, you know,
I don't, I haven't seen it get acknowledged that much is like just the
psychological pressure
of what's going on. Like the way it's gotta be like, you know, just
psychologically, like
think of all the people you and I know who are already teetering at the very
edge of sanity.
And like, imagine them alone in an apartment for a month with like the news
telling them that we
don't know when you, we can let you out. Like, whoa, how many people are like
really losing their
shit? And like, I'm not losing my shit, but at least a couple of times a day, I'll
have a real
claustrophobic moment. Like, I can't explain it. It's like a, I don't know if
it's a panic attack.
It's not, it's just like this sense of like, oh, this fucking sucks. I don't
want to drive by
Trader Joe's and see people wearing face masks with six feet in between each of
them and the
fucking weirdness of it all. People are driving weird right now. And it's just
like, what the
fuck? People are driving weird. Yeah. Real aggressive. Yeah, man. That, that,
that, that,
you know, I don't, people, I don't think are acknowledging the fact that, and
they need to,
that if you're feeling, if you're feeling a little off right now, that's normal.
Like you probably
should acknowledge that, you know, or at least like, otherwise people are going
to start thinking
they're really going nuts when it's like, no, you just have some kind of like,
probably a new mental illness will be, they'll probably be a new name for a
COVID related mental
illness, you know, like pandemic associated claustrophobia syndrome or some
shit like that,
you know, some like thing that is a new thing. Cause we've never had to do this
before.
Of course, a hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, do you know how many people are
going to get sued for this?
Do you know, I mean, how, how many people are going to sue the government for
the close downs?
You know, how many people are going to go crazy and how many businesses are
going to be lost?
How many lives are turned upside down? You know, how many people? Fuck man.
Divorces. Oh my God. So many. Yeah.
Dude. So many, you know, people forced in these high pressure situations,
they didn't anticipate. And then some people falling apart, people with drug
problems,
they accelerate because they need a relief, anxiety from all this.
Yeah, man. And we're in just beginning it, man. I mean, it's just beginning. We're,
we're still three weeks away from at least here with this state is going to
open up, right? May 15th.
Yeah. But what do you think is going to happen in Georgia? Do you think when
they,
when they open Georgia back up, you're going to get like another,
another series of people that have it? What do you think it's going to be?
What do you think? If you had a guess, man, that's the pro I have no debt. All
the data
sources are so, some of them are so very different. It seems like that it's
like,
you know, you, you have people who've won Nobel prizes, you know, saying what
they think it is.
And then you have other people who are doctors saying what they think it is.
And those things
don't quite match to the point where it comes down to, it's not like what I
think is going to happen.
It's what I hope is going to happen, which is like, that it just, not only that
it, the curve
keeps flattening, maybe not necessarily because I just, maybe because it's mutating,
maybe because
herd immunity, maybe because, you know, I don't know who to believe. You turn
on Fox News,
you see one story, you turn on CNN, you see the other story, you go on the
internet,
it's a fucking meteor that's going to hit. You go, you know, you, it depends on
who you're talking
to and FG, 5G, you know, a variety of things, a, a, a, a low level bioweapon
that's being combined
with a horrific, like powerful psyops operation. Who the fuck knows, Joe? We
don't know. So it's like
the, the, that to me is the, the, the real unnerving quality of this outside of
worrying,
like if you go outside, like every time you cough, I'm like, mother fuck, I
should have worn my mask.
I'm doomed when my wife sees it, she's gonna fucking kill my ass. But like that,
you know,
just that those moments that would normally just go completely unnoticed. I
like those,
those to me, that new reality to get highlighted. Yeah. And brother, that's,
that is like,
that's another form of virus. It's fear and it's, it's paranoia. And it's like,
it's a, it's a meme
that's spread. So it changes your outlook, changes the way you interact with
life. It changes your
outlook and it changes, it changes the actual course of your life. Like you'll,
you'll be operating
with fear and operating with anxiety and everyone's thrust into that without
anything bad that they've
done that to, for no fault of their own, they're thrust into the situation
where even though they've
worked really hard, they've been really disciplined, they've done the right
thing. They've been
conservative. They take care of their health, all the, all the, all the checks,
everything,
but still all of a sudden work goes away for everybody. Yeah. Nobody did
anything wrong. So
everybody's thrust into this situation. It's really the ultimate haves and have
nots moment,
you know, and it's for what's really interesting. It's like right when Bernie
Sanders just stepped out
of the race, like this is the example of why we need some sort of comprehensive
plan for everybody.
If everything goes wrong. Yeah, man, this is right, right here. Like the idea
that capitalism moves
the world. Yes, it does. I mean, it seems to motivate most of what we do, but
the idea that there's,
there's not more that we can do for the people of the community of, of the
United States of America
as a community. Right. Because that healthcare and education and stop people
from being robbed,
like stop, stop some predatory lending. Stop all these things that you can
clearly see people are
just getting fucked over from. Yeah. Spend more money on healthcare. Like we
need that now. Like,
yeah, we went through a nice sweet spot where there was no real problems other
than occasionally little
blips of bad flus and bad diseases and we squashed them real quick. This is a
big one that hit the whole,
and this is only, you know, as far as like terrible pandemics, the, the amount
of people that it kills
per people that get it is not as high as it is for some of the more horrendous
diseases. We got lucky.
We should prepare for the worst. We should prepare for airborne Ebola. Okay. We
should prepare for all that
shit. We should think about it the way we think about arms races, like how much
money they put it into the military
and how much money they put into the, the war against viruses. Well, the war
against viruses just killed
50,000 people at home. Imagine if China just had just launched missiles into
American cities and killed
50,000 people. That'd be it. We would be at fucking war. All of our resources
would be dedicated to that,
right? Right. Well, why aren't all of our resources being dedicated to fighting
off fucking diseases,
great questions. This is a real wake up call for that. It's also a wake up call
for power grid people,
people that are worried about the power grid go down. It's a wake up call for
people that haven't had
food stockpiled in their house. Wake up call for people that are living
extended, you know,
like they've really extended their reach as far as the, how much their rent is
and how much their car
payment is and they're, they're really stretching it. Well, boom, something
like this happens and you're,
you're never going to play catch up. You're barely keeping up with your
lifestyle before all this went
down. Yeah. And again, through no fault of your own. So you got to kind of
prepare now. People are going
to have to look at this like, okay, now we know something can happen that we
never thought could
happen before and the whole world shuts down. Yeah. Now we know. That's it. But
we should, we should act
accordingly in like how we run things. Now we know. Well, that's the silver
lining. I mean,
like that's the silver line. It's like when you have a thing happen that you
realize like, you know,
whatever, like in your car, you get lucky and you notice that the tire is like
super flat and you
fill, you fill it up. You just didn't notice or whatever. You see a thing and
it saves you from a
later fucking thing that could have been a million times worse. But you know,
man, the wake up call to me
is like, it's no joke that you need to at least be on like some terms with your
neighbors. And it's
no joke that you need to understand how to do like how to grow food out of the
ground and some like
basic first aid and stuff like that. And also to always have gas in your car,
man. Like, you know,
we the other day went to get groceries and like fucking the, you know, left a
credit card at the house.
Right. And like the, but the car was kind of low on fuel because I hadn't gassed
it up like I should
have. Right. And the combination of suddenly not being able to put gas in the
car and these two dumb
mistakes, it wasn't just a normal shitty day where your car runs out of gas.
Now it's your cars run out
of gas during a pandemic, meaning you got to call somebody to come and get put
gas in your car or
walk somewhere to get gas. That's a whole different walk than before. And that's
asking someone to come and
help you is kind of like asking them, Hey, would you mind like taking a chance?
I mean,
I know you're wearing a mask and everything, but you know what I mean? So
suddenly fuck ups in this
kind of environment, they mean a lot more than fuck ups in like the previous
world that we were in.
And that's teaching me a real kind of responsibility, you know, like having
some cash on hand, like stuff
like that. Like what we, you know, we should always be doing that. And to me,
that is one of the,
you know, and I hate using, everyone's using the term silver lining right now.
And it's like,
anytime you say it, it's like, yeah, it's a silver lining on like people who
drown in their own
fucking mucus. It's not the, you know, it's fucked up. But I guess one of the
silver linings in it is
just that the, the fact that it's like, look, man, Trump just was talking about,
maybe we should
inject ourselves with Lysol. Okay.
Okay. How crazy that video. Have you seen the one when they focus on the lady
who's the science
advisor and she's sitting there listening to him say all this shit. Yeah. Yeah.
Have you seen that?
I have. Sam Harris tweeted it. And it's, uh, he said, uh, when you look into
the abyss,
the abyss looks into you, you know, and, but also in that look, you know, I saw,
I saw her thinking
like, listen, motherfuckers, who's in line. You want to have, you want this job.
I'm doing what I can
to steer this crazy ship as best as I fucking can. And there's not much I could
do, but it's like,
you know, you see somebody seriously say to an entire planet that it might be a
good idea to inject Lysol into
your body. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let me hear it. You start from the
beginning.
I think you got to actually double click on it. And on my computer, I had to,
to get the sound out
of it. Nothing. Like what the fuck? No, I don't hear it. That was Duncan. That
was me.
It's haunted. Anyway, bottom line is he's saying wacky shit and the focus is on
this lady. And as
she's watching him, she's like, I can't even fucking believe I have to handle
this. Yeah. And she does
dude. That's it. But to me, we can get the disinfectant into their body. That's
maybe possible.
We could get up to drink Lysol. Light. Powerful light. Use light. Yeah. Kill it
from outside or
inside. I don't know how you're doing. There you go. Cause you see a thing like
that and it's like,
okay, lean into that. Like, that's going to like lean into that as the thing
that you can count on.
That's the thing saying inject Lysol. That's the kind of thing where like in
your craziest friend,
if they said that to you, you would be considering like calling their, their
friends or their mom to
be like, Hey Jack, he's having like a hardcore manic episode. He's talking
about injecting Lysol into
himself. You better do something. That's the fucking president. And to me, what
that tells me is like,
motherfucker, you need gas in your car. You need to make sure your phone is juiced
up. You know what
I mean? You need to make sure that you are like, you gotta be ready. You gotta
be ready. Because if,
if, if we like think we're going to lean into some like imaginary hammock made
of like people who are
saying that we should inject ourselves with Lysol, then we're made, then it's
our fault. That's your,
cause you know, it's like, let's imagine, let's say you went and you, I don't
know,
you went into the forest and you got attacked by a tiger, but right before you
went in the tiger,
you into the forest, you said to somebody, Hey, do you think I should go in
that forest?
There are tigers there. And they're like, no. And then they start shooting up
with Lysol.
You know what I mean? If you go in that forest and the tiger gets you, that's
your fault.
You fucking listened to a dude who thought you could shoot up Lysol.
You know what I mean? That's your fault.
Imagine what was he thinking while he was saying that he's probably like,
there's gotta be an intelligent way to get out of this fucking subject that I've
already started
and I've already like coming up with, uh, perhaps, uh, for instance, uh, maybe
you could, uh,
maybe you could, so supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, uh, whether it's
ultraviolet or just
very powerful light. And I think you, that hasn't been checked, but you're
going to test it.
And then I said, supposedly inside the body, you can, which you can do either
through the skin or
uh, in some other way. And I think you said you're going to test that too.
Sounds interesting.
Right. And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one
minute. And is
there a way we can do something like that, uh, by injection inside or, or
almost a cleaning?
Cause you see it gets in the lungs and there's a tremendous number of the lungs.
So it'd be
interesting to check that. Yeah. A cleaning of the lungs. Can we take your
lungs out and spray them
with Lysol? Spray them down, put your lungs through a car wash. Like what? Yeah.
What a crazy thing to
say. I mean, a cleaning, a cleaning, give him a cleaning. Yeah. Imagine like
being his doctor and
you have to listen to him say this like, uh, so why don't you, uh, do like the,
the disinfectant,
you know, inside it's like a cleaning. Can you dip my liver in bleach? Can you
take my liver out and
just microwave it? I, yeah, I, you know, so to me, you see that and it's like,
okay, well, I'm not quite
certain that that is where I'm going to get my data stream from because that's
a Lysol person. And then,
but then we, but then there must be like a thing we can do regardless of the
fact that clearly.
Bro, you wouldn't even talk like that on a podcast. Dude, I would never say
that. But imagine,
imagine you have zero expertise in a certain subject. You're talking to someone
who's like
some expert in this said subject and you're proposing these outlandish, like
you're on a
podium. You're not even having a private conversation. Yeah. In front of
everybody,
you're somehow or another having a side conversation where you're proposing
these ridiculous ideas that
show that you don't understand how disinfectant works. Like why, why is that
even conversation
even taking place? Also, the other thing is because he did ask the question,
that is a time for someone
on that side of the room to go, no, look at her. You can't. Why didn't she say
that?
You can't do that. She knows if she interrupts him and goes, what? You can't do
that. You can't
inject disinfection. He'd probably be upset. And she wants to do the best work
that she can do. And
this is just some nonsense she has to handle along the way. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's
just a bad path.
Look, first of all, I mean, look, the guy works some ungodly amount of hours in
a day, right?
He's going to do some dumb shit and he wings it a lot, right? So he probably
was stuck on that
conversation of things that might be able to be done. And maybe you could do a
strong,
ultra-violent light like in the skin. Then all of a sudden he's like, oh my God,
I'm laying out
possible ways that you could cure this there. I better keep going. I better
have more than one.
Yeah. And then he's like, oh yeah, disinfectant. That's right. Disinfectant.
Disinfectant. Maybe
inside or outside. They have a way of doing that. Yeah. And then he goes to her.
Like,
he's looking for support. Like, I think you said maybe. I think you said maybe
you're looking at that.
Yeah, man. I mean, it definitely has that sense of like when you had to give a
report at school and
you hadn't prepared for it. That's it. That's exactly what it's like.
Well, who were the Assyrian rebels? Well, they were from Assyria. Yeah. Yeah.
They were rebels.
Yes. I heard they were tremendous rebels. They were fighters. They fought and
they fought long and
hard in Syria and areas around Syria and some people in areas around Syria
referred to them as rebels and
said they were some of the most intense rebels in the region. No, Assyria. It's
a different place.
Duncan, you wrote a report about the wrong place. Assyrian. I was saying that.
You heard me wrong.
Yeah. You just heard me wrong. I can't give you an A.
Yeah, man. There's like, how many times did you your way through like those
things in high school?
Bullsh*t. Every, every time, a lot of, a lot of the times, man. I mean, I got
like,
I think it was the red badge of courage, which even now I can't remember what
if it's, I think it's
about the revolutionary war. Um, and I believe that I didn't read it at all.
Clearly I didn't read it
because I still can't remember which war it was about. But I remember just
having not read the book
at all having to write a report on it where I, I think I said it in Vietnam or
something like her. And
maybe it was a civil war. And she was just like, that's not even the war that
it was that it happened
at. You know, like completely failed. Like, and not one of those, one of those
Fs where the teachers
met angry carving. Yeah. I found out about cliff notes when I was in high
school. I couldn't believe
it. I'm like, this is a gift from God. Yeah. Cliff notes. You just got to buy
it on your own. You
got to buy the book, but it's a way more, you can read it in an hour. That's
right. But it still
sucked. You had to pay money for a cliff. I mean, yeah, but I thought it was
cheating. I was like,
they're cheating though. They're giving you a way to like, this is not how, so
you can learn better.
Just so you can pass the test. Right. That's what this is. It's like, you're
giving me like,
oh yeah. And then Mikey said to her, get off my fucking porch. That's page 30.
That's yeah.
It was a little grayer a few years ago where kids could just copy and paste
other people's
reports for, from years past because they were all digital and teachers didn't
know this was a thing
they could check. They now have checking tools to find out plagiarism and
whatnot, but so many kids
probably for a few years just did literally nothing. I'm sure. What a disaster.
That's right. I'm sure.
You get out of school and you graduate high school. You can't read like what
you can't read. I didn't
pay attention. I can't just play video games. I can read like a little bit of
video games.
Yeah. I just made my way through. Well, I mean, you know, there's like, that's
one of the,
isn't that now the people who went to recently went to jail for like bribe for
getting their kids into
college. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's kind of a version of that except with your kids,
right? You're like,
you're like, just the kids aren't, aren't, aren't supposed to be in college
because they haven't
done any work in high school and they don't know what they're doing. But if you
pay enough money,
you get them in there. It's like, and also, aren't they doing something where
they get people to go
and take SATs for your kid? Like you figure out a way to like, it's an identity
theft thing where you can
even get someone to go and like, do the test as your kid using fake ID and shit.
So it's like,
you send in an operative that isn't your kid to take the test so you can get
into a nice school.
That whole thing was so crazy. They spent so much money to get kids in school
that didn't want to be
good students. Yeah. That's right. Almost like you think you could buy, buy a
kid's way to
enthusiastic focus. That, well, there you go. I mean, there's the whole problem,
isn't it? What is that?
This was, this is from the district attorney's office in Massachusetts. One of
the photos that
was used to show this girl's, uh, rowing, uh, high school rowing career that
she got a scholarship on.
That's a workout machine. Oh, wow. And I was supposed to be like, yeah, look at
her in her varsity.
Oh, fuck, man. What? Yeah. Wow. So there was no photos of her actually rowing
out on a boat?
That's part of the thing. Like having people take tests, they went and staged
photos too to be like,
look, the person did that. Oh my God. It's all allegedly according to the court.
Do you imagine how mad real rowers would be at you if they found out you got a
scholarship
based on a fucking rowing machine photo? Wait, hold on. You'd be so mad.
Was it for scholarships or was it just trying to get them in? Trying to get
them in?
Just to get in. I don't think they got scholarships, but like they were, but to
be on the rowing team,
you know, or whatever it's called, uh, I forget off the top of my head. Is it
like good for your
GPA or some shit? No, but I mean, it's a way to get in. Oh, way to get in. Yeah.
Oh, right.
So that and the bribe. Extracurricular activity kind of stuff on your record
and whatnot. So they just,
they fudge that and then bribed the rest of it. Do you think the kids knew?
Yeah. Yeah. You could,
you know, when your parents like, Hey, we just bought this rowing machine. Why?
Just don't worry
about it. We're just going to take a picture of you in a rowing machine. Like,
sure. You know,
you're, you're getting a picture taken of you to try to get you into this
school that your dad went to
or whatever. You're complicit to some degree. Like, yeah, you have to be. Yeah.
Yeah. A little
bit. Go to that picture. She doesn't even, she hasn't even broke a sweat. Well,
it has her face
covered enough, so you can't see, but I want to see closing on that. She didn't
look sweaty to me.
Crew is the word I was trying to think. She looks like she's barely started
exercising.
There's another one down here too. Yeah. Come on, son. I don't see no sweat.
That's a better one.
Cause look, stop. Go up. Look at that. That's a gray sweat, a gray t-shirt.
Gray t-shirts
look sweaty instantly. Yeah. Instantly. This is hilarious. She probably pulled
it back a couple
times. Am I done yet? God, you can't even get me in the UFC. Fucking loser. My
father's a loser and
he takes pills. Yeah. No shit, dude. I want you to love me. Well, get me in the
fucking UFC.
All my friends are going, dude, the thing that's really fucked up is like,
there's some kid
whose parents like, like are making 20k a year. Who's working his fucking ass
off. You know,
like just like somehow managing to like study nonstop to try to get into a good
school. It doesn't get
into the school because of that shit. That's the, that's the satanic part is
like they buy their way
in and that's someone's place. They have a limited number of places, meaning
like theoretically,
someone doesn't get into the school who could be the person who is going to,
you know, invent
teleportation or some shit. Yeah. Isn't that weird with schools? Like you have
your first choice,
you got your second choice. Like Billy got his third choice. Fuck. Yeah. Fuck
Billy's going home.
Where's he going? South Dakota. Fuck Billy. What's in South Dakota? Yeah. Flat
ground.
Dude, I get it though. I, I mean, I get wanting to get into some Ivy league. I
get it. Illuminati
school. I think that'd be cool. Especially if you're in, if you're in the Illuminati
and your
kids are dope. That sucks so bad. You're in the Illuminati with an embarrassing
kid.
Like, I don't, I don't swear that much around my kids. My kids don't know how I
talk around my
friends. What if that's how it is with like Illuminati too? Like these kids don't
even know their
parents were in the Illuminati. Yeah. You know, and you're like, look, I'm
trying to get you to be
in a, you know, better position in life, but I was working all the time. I wasn't
around. I didn't
push you hard enough. No shit. But I got you into Yale. Or they fucking know
you're in it and they're
just like, you're like, did you get into my fucking adrenochrome again? They're
like breaking into your
vaults, you know, taking your fucking like goblets of blood and drinking it at
parties. Don't drink any more
of my blood. You have to stop this. You know, like join them in the skull and
bones. Don't they bring
their kids to skull and bones? I don't think so. I think they do. I think they,
they, once they're
in, their son turns 30, they say, son, I'm going to show you something. They
take them, take them to
the skull and bones. Don't they bring them in? No, you, if you go to school
there, you get into it,
right? That's how you, I think that's how you get to the, in the school. That's
how you get in?
Legacy stuff, right? Legacy. Is that how you get in or is that how you get in
skull and bones? Like,
I would not, I don't, I don't think the whole school gets to be skull and bones.
No, no, no,
but that's, that's how you get accepted is what I meant. That's how you get
into the school.
Isn't that funny? Like if you're in a place like Yale, which is very exclusive
and very prestigious
already, some creeps, like that's not enough. I want to get in the secret cult
dick sucking society.
What do they do? They don't suck dicks, do they? Well, you know what? Wasn't
there a rumor
that they make each other blow each other on, take photos of it so that they,
uh, they have
something over them. That was what's one of the crazy online conspiracy
theories, right? Yeah. They,
they make every guy suck a dick and they take Polaroids of it. And so they
always have it,
they hold over you. I think that's just fraternity stuff, but yeah. Is that
normal fraternity stuff?
I mean, Burt's talked about that thing, whatever for it. Yeah. They would jerk
off on a biscuit,
right? Yeah. That's the circle jerk thing. And the last guy to come had to eat
the biscuit.
But no one's really doing it except for the one idiot. Yeah. One guy can't come
because he's just
jerking off thinking about guys all the time. You just go, yeah. I sucked a
bunch of my friend's
dicks. Who's fucking cares? I mean, aren't we in a time now where like, like a
picture of me emerges
sucking all my friend's dicks? I think there's more to it than that. So what? I
think they peg you or
something. They take pictures of them wearing a strap on. So you got pegged.
Yeah, but some people don't
want everybody, you know, they want to rise through the branch at Raytheon and
get to the top.
Everyone at Raytheon gets pegged. Like, you know, that's just like, fuck it.
Like, yeah,
we all get pegged. Now what? So what? We're inventing bombs. Now, you know,
like, who cares? Of
course we get pegged. Yeah, but the guy's wearing a goat costume. So what? I
like to wear a goat
costume when I get pegged. I like too much kinky shit. It's like, God damn it.
I hope we get to a time
where like, they take pictures of someone doing a fucking thing that's legit
fucked up so that,
you know, and they get banished for it. It's like, I'm, God forbid, like I can't
even imagine the
Polaroids that could emerge of weird shit I've done. You know, I've got- I can
only imagine.
You can't imagine. I can't. Uh, but that being said, it's like, yeah, I wonder
what,
what I think what the initiation is. I get it. Like it is, it's, look, let's
face it. You're not
going to- It's probably fun to be a part of a little tiny group that's a part
of an exclusive group,
right? You got the exclusive group. That's Yale. And then you get the little
skull and bones. We're
all good together. All brothers in the, in, in the room, you know, they
probably have like secret
words they have to say in Latin and shit. Yeah. I mean, we, well, that's the
thing that I imagine
based on the way I have come to understand things, whatever it is, is way more
boring than we imagine.
Because you know what I mean? Like when you don't know what a thing is, you
always project the worst
thing on it. My guess is it's boring as fuck. It's probably just some college
bullshit where people who are in a frat sit around and like make dumb jokes and
do stupid
shit and it's nothing. They probably don't even peg you. They probably just
take a Polaroid of your
asshole. Got it. Look, we got your, keep your mouth shut. Yeah. We have a
picture of your
asshole. It's your soul's fingerprint. Don't show anybody. It's your soul's
fingerprint. Imagine
your asshole told a lot about you. That's the big discovery. Like you look at a
person's eyes,
you know, and you see their soul. It's the windows to the soul. What if the
asshole is like, you really
know whether you like someone just by looking at their asshole. Something about
the asshole tells you
things. Books come out decoding your asshole. You know, like people read hands.
They read fingerprints.
Yeah. Why can't they read assholes? I bet assholes tell you a lot. Just like
someone's eyebrows do.
Like someone's got like mean eyebrows. Like, whoa, that guy looks aggressive. A
palm reader. I don't trust it.
The guy's got big, thick, bushy eyebrows and he's not mean. I get suspicious.
He's all friendly
with these big, crazy fucking eyebrows, but all the villains have big, crazy
eyebrows.
They're all angry. Yeah. Those crazy eyebrows. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like, man,
for one, here's probably
for sure. We don't know that you can't tell a person's future from their
asshole yet because no
one's thought of it. That could be the new thing that people pick up as a
business during this pandemic.
Yeah. Asshole reading. Yeah. Or what if it's like a, what if it's like a, there's
an app,
scan it. A scan. Discounts. A QR code. Your asshole flots into a QR code.
All this time we've been looking for alien signals from space. We didn't know
it was in our assholes.
Yeah. It was all, all of the photos of our assholes. If you put them together
on a grid,
it gives us the diagram of how to build a spaceship to get out of here.
We just have to have all the photos. It's like a giant jigsaw puzzle with
eight billion pieces. You take eight billion assholes and you put them on a
grid and you'll
see the schematics. Behold. It'll tell us exactly when the sun's going to supernova
for about 50 years. Maybe what if that's what the quantum computer,
the first thing it says is I need pictures of all the assholes on the planet.
If you vote, you have to show a photo of your asshole before you vote. You have
to have it on your
phone and that's your thing. Instead of the thumbprint. No, thumbprints are not
exact.
Assholes are exact. Exact. And they don't get changed by workouts or they don't
like, you know,
your thumbprint, your hands can get bigger. It could be a little bit different.
All right. How do you know? I don't know that assholes don't get changed from
workouts.
Well, they can, one thing they can do with your thumbprint, right? Some people
burn their prints off.
You can't really burn. Well, I guess you could burn your asshole into an unreadable.
That's one of the levels of the CIA. Yeah, you're tired of people reading your
asshole.
I can't get a good relationship because people keep reading my asshole wrong.
Fuck. Look, I'm more than my asshole.
Let's end with that. Okay. Dude, we just did three and a half hours.
Holy shit, man. I went by so fast. I know. It's crazy. It's four o'clock
already.
Listen, man, your show looks amazing. I'm very excited for you. I'm very happy
for you.
Thank you. Tell people once again. It's on Netflix.
Thanks, Joe. It's on Netflix. It's called The Midnight Gospel. Please just
watch it. It's like,
yeah, I'm very proud of it and I think you'll enjoy it.
DuncanTrussell.com, Duncan Trussell on Twitter, Duncan Trussell on Instagram.
Duncan Trussell Family Art Podcast.
Yes. Thank you, brother. I love you. Thank you, brother. I love you too.
Always good to see you, man. This was really fun. Thank you.
Bye, everybody. See you.
That was so fun, dude.