Michelle Wolf on Fake Bestiality Accusation

Yeah. But if you can get a pig with a human vagina, well, that's like people fuck sheep, right? Yeah. Isn't that the whole deal with sheep? Yeah, New Zealand, I think. Is it supposed to be like real clothes? That's what they say. Probably in Pennsylvania, too. I mean, I'm sure in Pennsylvania. It's not going to be carried away. When people get, you know, again, what you said, no options. No standards. No standards. Yeah. If you found out that no one was looking, I mean, they don't fuck sheep because it's gross. They fuck sheep because the sheep's that high and they're right there. Yeah. And they look around and they're like, what about that poor guy who's the exact right hype for a sheep? Yeah, perfect. And he's just like, oh, I don't even have to bend my knees at all. Look at the sheep backing up in you, too. Sheep likes it. Who's the victim? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the sheep was like, maybe the sheep keeps like... Yeah, sheep likes it. Keeps nuzzling up against him. Like a lizzo dance. I would love that that guy's defense in court. He's just like, no, but you got to look at this video. You can't tell me the sheep's not into this. Here's a video of me entering into the pen. Now look, they're all back towards me backwards. Yeah. They all just go right to... One of them is buying, I'm pretty sure, juice. It's a ridiculous thing that people fuck animals. But animals fuck people, too. Yeah. You ever see dolphins? Dolphins get ahold of people? I've seen a video of that. It's crazy. There's one of the dolphin link came up on a woman. Start trying to fuck her. There was an article. It's the best trolling that has ever been done to me. There was an article that said I was guilty of bestiality. Oh. It said wolf guilty of bestiality. And it was from my hometown newspaper, The Homestown Sun, which is a very small newspaper. There's like three or four people that work there, I think. But it said that I was guilty of bestiality, and they did so much research. They got the paper, the right paper. They got all this information about me. And then the surprising thing was at the end of the article, it said I pled guilty, and the fine was $1,500. And it was about fucking dogs, that I was fucking dogs. And I was like, well, if that was what I was into, $1,500, that's kind of worth it. Depends how much money you have and how big the dog's dick is. Yeah. And I was also like, how is the dog, is the dog fucking me? Is it like a peanut butter situation? Well, there's videos like that that existed before the internet. There was a video, I think it was called Barnyard Betty, as me and my friend Billy and my friend Ron. It was in the basement. I remember one of us had to guard the door in case someone came into the basement, it was an old VHS tape, so they put the VHS tape on, and one of us had to stand by the doorway to the basement, just to make sure that nobody opened the door and busted us. And we watched this fucked up video of these trailer trash looking meth girls that were blowing donkeys and having sex with dogs. One of them had sex with a German Shepherd. It was so gross. There was an episode of Nip Tuck where that happened. Nip Tuck, I remember that show. There was a woman, she put peanut butter on her vagina and their dog would lick it off. Oh, that's real. That happens all the time. Yeah. And I was like, I remember I was kind of younger and I was like, that's a weird thing to put in TV. What if a dog bites? Yeah. Lick, lick, lick, tom. Yeah. So it's getting greedy. It seems like a dangerous situation. Yeah, if you had too many dogs, like you said, one's not enough, I want one to lick my butthole so. Oh God. Peanut butter down there, peanut butter on the J.J. This is so gross. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.