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Luis J. Gomez is a stand-up comic, writer, and producer. He's a host of multiple podcasts, including "Legion of Skanks" with Big Jay Oakerson and Dave Smith, and "Real Ass Podcast" with Zac Amico. www.luisofskanks.com
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There's a benefit to being in a city where you're a kid or an adult. There's definitely a benefit the negative part is this Depreciation of value of life people. There's so many people you don't think of them as being as important There are there are a hindrance as much as they are like a nice thing to see. Yeah well, there's so many homeless people too and There's a homeless woman who basically stands on my corner and just begs for change every day and my son was with me the other day and this woman she's like hey, do you have any money for a sandwich and I was like now sorry I don't today and I keep on walking and then my I look down my son He's like Ted. That's really sad. She doesn't have money for a sandwich. I'm like She has every fucking day James every day. She asks. Okay, and I'd explain to him I was like, I was like, well, you know, look I can't give her money every single day And I was like, you know what? I do have a dollar though I was like, why don't we go back and give her a dollar and it was like no I get it now I swear to god he stopped me from giving her the dollar. Well if the world was Just one if there was only one person like that, but that was the only issue just one lady just need some help You'd be oh, we'll just help her. Yeah, but when there's a million of them, you're like, well, I can't help I just can't do this. I got to keep going. I got to concentrate my own shit Yeah, and that's like that's a microcosm of what happens in a city Yeah, if that lady was in a small town She would be the the crazy beggar lady people would probably like figure out a way to help bigger cans Yeah, some people the problem is is just like humans some humans When you give them that as an option just begging like there's guys who do it and there was a whole San Francisco When I lived in San Francisco, there was a news report thing about this guy was doing it for a living He was making a lot of money a lot of money man He's just begging and he was essentially saying there's nothing wrong with it. It's totally legal and I just make up stories and have people donate money to me and I think of it as like an occupation so he it was weird listening to him talk about it because He was telling this lady who was the reporter lady was telling her how she could do it too And you know how he was doing it and how he shows people how to do it But he was making like a decent living like a hundred bucks a day. Yeah, I'm sure I remember cuz I was a kid But I remember listening like oh this motherfucker. He's just faking it I don't in a weird way. I I appreciate the hustle. I don't look I watched my mom on welfare I remember as a kid watching my mom collect a welfare check and sitting in the room smoke cigarettes and not work and I remember As a little kid being like that's not right. I was like, what are you doing? Just work do something else? We could be in a better situation just from way too young having that thought, right? but In a weird way. I I appreciate the guy's hustle. He's figured out a way to Thrive sorta It's not nothing to be proud of you know, you shouldn't be bragging about it But at the same time like it's just a different system. It's a different game We if you disconnect from sort of like, you know, whatever were you know, he's a con artist There's not never a good thing having someone who's lying to everybody all the time. I appreciate a good con artists. I really do They're boring. Yeah. Yeah, it's boring. It's boring. Just figure it out stupid stop lying Are they figuring out something different? They're just finding lemmings. That's all they're doing. They're finding lemmings They're finding people that don't know any better people that it what's three-card money. Come on, I'll show you Well, that's sort of the homeless lady is doing she there's now look I've been in New York City since 2001 I've I'm so desensitized to homeless people that I there's no part of me that feels bad I just will walk on sorry can't keep on going. But what happens is you get There they're looking for the person who moved there a week ago. They're looking for the tourists They're looking for the person who can find nice people and they're there. So it's sort of like that's but that's not the same thing Like that lady might just be crazy. She's not a con artist con artists or people lying and pretending they listen My car broke down my wife and kid having anything to eat 24 hours and I'm really in a bad situation I would never do this, but I just ask you if you could just give me five dollars and the guys is off there Yeah, man. Sure. I'm sorry. Here's five dollars next person. Hey, man I need to go take this flight to see my mom. She's dying of cancer. Well, it'll change it Usually they have the same story sold and they'll change all the time Well, I had a guy do that to me in New York when I first moved there and I was this guy He was wearing a suit young white guy wearing a suit. He's like, dude, I miss my bus back home I was here for a job interview You know, I'm just trying to get money for a bus ticket back home And I was like, guys he hears a couple bucks whatever and the next day in Union Square same fucking kids same suit same story Because they learn it like a sales pitch So they know the beats of they know exactly what to say You see it went on the subway when they got on the subway. They have an actual script, you know So it's like, you know, I don't mean to beg you know but my wife is blah blah blah and you see them every day going down the cart and it If you ever done a sales job a good sales script is pretty good You're just sort of fishing you're playing the numbers you're you're Instead of sort of adding emotion to it and changing the story and doing all these different things and putting too much thought into it You go I'm just gonna run the script and close one out of 20 people that walk by stupid Yeah, no, it's not only benefit is that you grow up around people that are full of shit You learn how to spot people that are full of shit. It's only benefit. I'm not it's just annoying. I Agree with you, but I also can't appreciate it. I can I can appreciate a good hustler. I appreciate it It goes out and gets a fucking job You don't just lie to people everywhere with some stupid story about how you missed your bus. Yeah shit together pussy Stop mooching money from people. That's gross. Well, what about it's gross What about a guy who sells his CD on the street? That's maybe a bit different because he's offering something he has his art No, we got a CD player you do not a CD player. I do don't want up top. I got a refurbished laptop This guy in Columbus. You're sort of minding me. I've completely forgot about him He was known as the wrapping bum, but or help us on the way I'm like 15 20 years at Ohio State in the sky be on the high street Which is like the main strip and he had this all these rhymes He would constantly go to it always ended with help is on the way But I don't remember a lot of them But he always said help is on the way ended like it was like this punchline like help is on the way Hit t-shirts made about him. I think people someone actually recorded him at one point and like 2005 or six but you remember when they found that homeless dude that had that crazy radio voice. Yeah, that was in Columbus, too Was it? Yeah. Oh, yeah, he got a job, right? Somebody gave me job went right back to the fight. Yeah. Yeah, he fucked it up. Yeah. Well, you can't Can't fix him like that voice was fire though. It's very good voice. Yeah great voice radio voice You got a lot of smooth and he just wound up going right back to being a homeless person Well did that I mean it's not it's gonna sound very insensitive, but most of the time it's not bad luck Right, you know, it's sort of the the decisions you make and I'm not saying that you can't have a bad Situation you can't you know, there is bad luck in the sense that some people are born into, you know affluent households and some people are born into poverty, but This is him. Yeah, this him. Let's hear it 98.9 Thank you so much. God bless you. Thank you. He was a radio guy Yeah, and then he fell on well and don't forget tomorrow morning is your chance to win a pair of tickets to see this man Live in concert. I have a theory. I think doing that for a living makes you fucking crazy That's what I think. I think if you have that fake voice eventually you just snap, you know, I can't do this anymore I can't talk like this. I can't have this fake voice. Yeah blow a few