Joey Diaz's "Lady and the Bear" Moment

I'm Mike D. We play Joey telling shit stories for sure. And he told us about when he shit in his backyard and somebody thought it was a bear. I never forget the lady. She would let her dogs out every day at the time. And then she would clean up. His was beautiful. I took his shit and I put my back against the wall. When you shit outside, it's not going to be a decent shit. It's going to be like explosive. So when I got up, it looks like somebody got shot in the head. They would shit off behind me at the wall. So she's sitting there with her little French poodles and her little chihuahuas. And she's looking at the wall like, what the fuck happened there? And all of a sudden, she actually walks up close to it and squints and looks down on it and looks around and runs in the house. I'm watching all this. I can't breathe. And now I go to the computer because my wife's very decent. I'm sitting there for half a hour. And then my wife comes in and she goes, were you home all day today? I go, yeah, why? She goes, I just had a conversation with Susan. She wanted to know if you heard anything in the backyard because some animal took their shit back there. I went to get sushi. I give her go get sushi, eat a lot of it. The rice pushes everything out of the ass. And you had plans to go get a weed store. You want to go to post office. I made a detour. I plan to go home, but I left the house key in the house. So I had to climb around the window. That's what happened. Yeah. So when I pulled myself up, I actually landed with my stomach on the window. And now you really made it push it out more like fatted and fucked and my hands are struggling in the window. My feet around the other side and the cats of me out and scratching at me. And I'm like, it's me. You're fucked. So I ran out, ran down the stairs, all shit outside.