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Doug Stanhope is a stand-up comedian, author, and host of "The Doug Stanhope Podcast." http://www.dougstanhope.com/
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6 years ago
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6 years ago
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6 years ago
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There was a funny story that I heard about a DEA, undercover DEA agent, who moved in to try to arrest another undercover DEA agent, and they were playing each other back and forth against each other, and they didn't know that both of them were cops the entire time. You fucking assholes. Just wasting money. Just wasting money investigating each other. So fucking stupid. Both sides undercover. Like what the fuck, man? If Trump started talking about that, if he really wanted to keep people around, if he really wanted to get people on the side, I think what he would do is start making drugs legal and start saying, listen folks, there's a reason why there's a problem in Mexico. And when you talk to real economists, the real advisors. Oh, you were talking about that on stage last night. Yeah, yeah, the real problem is the drug war. Make drugs legal. I was thinking about that, but... First, meth is a fucking, it's just such a fucking horrible drug. Ruthless. They make a lot of that in Mexico as well. It's a ruthless drug. It's a ruthless drug. But I think part of the reason why it's so fucked up is because all of it is illegal. I mean, that's a big part of why it's so fucked up, is because it's not regulated, it's not measured, it's the doses are not, it doesn't say on the box what'll kill you. You can go and buy this old camp whiskey at any corner store, right? You just go in there and buy it. Drink that whole thing. Drink that whole thing if you weigh 100 pounds. You're dead. You're dead. We all know that. I was thinking about that if I did run for mayor, I'd have a, like they have the gun exchange programs. You have a meth exchange? Yeah, meth for mushrooms. Ooh, that's a great exchange. Yeah, give them good drugs. They're doing this because it's cheap and available. Well, get them on good drugs. That's actually a really good way to approach the subject. It wasn't one of the things that Hunter S. Thompson said, but he's running for sheriff of Pitkin County. He said, any drug worth taking, she'll never be sold, and we'll put stocks in the middle of the city to lock up dishonest drug dealers. It's like drugs should be free. We're gonna arrest drug dealers. I think if we made everything legal, we'd have real problems, for sure, for quite a long period of time. The question is whether or not you have enough resources to parent your kids, to keep those problems from happening to your family, whether or not you have enough self-control to keep yourself from being one of those problems when drugs become legal and accessible. But then once it's settled down, from there forward, we'd be moving in a way healthier place, and you essentially take all of the money out of the cartel. They're not making any money anymore. And then they're not gonna be this murderous gang of, it's gonna take a while for things to dissipate, but look what they did to Columbia. I mean, Columbia used to be fucking crazy, and now you can go there, and it's supposed to be really nice.