Joe Rogan - Roseanne is Ready to Come on the Podcast!

That's silly. And what would you do without the tourists? Yeah. You should, uh... I think Roseanne's gonna actually fucking make money off a macadamia nut farm. I think she's gonna be out selling fucking nuts somewhere. Oh, she never... yeah, she never... I think I told you. She called me again and goes, I'm ready to do Rogan. We've been going back and forth. Alright. Well, now she says she's gonna do her own podcast. Yeah, she's... we're gonna do it. It's just gonna take time. This is what I told her. She said... Contact me the other day. She says, I'm ready to do it whenever you are. I said, you just tell me when and we'll do it. And then we're trying to figure out... Well, I'm in Salt Lake City and my mom knows how. Yeah, there was a little bit of that. And then she's just trying to figure out when's the right time. But she said she wants to do her own YouTube channel. She's upset at everybody. And I felt like... You know, there's a lot of merit in what she's saying. You know, I really do think she got fucked over. I think... I really do think she made a joke about a woman that she didn't know was black. And a woman who's... I think she's only one-eighth black. Right? Oh yeah, I saw the picture and I went, oh, I get it now. She does not... I talked to her on the phone afterwards where she goes... She was asking me for advice and she said, I really fucked up. And I honestly didn't think she was black. And then she goes, did you ever do Ambien? I go, that's exactly why I stopped doing Ambien. And I'm sure that's why she tweeted that. Where I'm like, just talk about this on Rogan. Because Rogan spends time. You can explain stuff. Stop fucking tweeting. And then tweet where she goes, oh, I did take an Ambien. Well, yeah, you drink on Ambien and you're fucked. I can tell you a million stories of normal people. Like fucking, you know, Judy Brown. Her husband, Steve Marmel, almost had a plane grounded because on a flight he took an Ambien and had a couple of Bourbons and then just started going fucking batch it. It has no recollection of it. And I've done stuff that was like minor, where I just had a very lucid business conversation with Hannigan after I'd taken an Ambien on like a light night of drinking for me, with six or seven beers. And I went to bed and then I got up 15 minutes later and went out and had this very lucid business conversation that I don't remember at all. And I brought it up to him the next day, something we were going to talk about. He goes, we talked about this last night. I go, no, no. He's like, yes, you came out. I go, no, I went to bed. He goes, yes, but you came out shortly after. You seemed very like completely normal. Wow. Kevin James, he made dinner. He went downstairs, made his own dinner, cooked it, ate it, went back to bed, got up in the morning and was like, who the fuck cooked? And then they were like, you did. He's like, no, I didn't. He was like, no, yeah, you did. Look, here, you threw this away. Like, you cooked this. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Renee's brother, you remember my ex Renee, her brother and his buddy took some Ambien, had minor amounts of cocktails, woke up on a lawn in a neighborhood they didn't know where they were. Jesus. And like, that's where it was that one lucid business conversation where you go, that could have been me driving my car into someone's front fucking porch. Yeah. So, yeah, I swore it off. My mom said that she took it and no booze, just took the Ambien and wound up drawing on a bathroom carpet, you know, in those little bathroom rugs, just drawing on it with like lipstick and nail polish. Doesn't have any recollection of doing it. Just drawing on it like a little kid would, where they pull out the nail polish, just start... That's a weird thing. It's called a hypnotic. That's what they call that category of drugs. The other thing with Roseanne is, like, she, well, she's got serious mental illness. Yeah. And she's on a bunch of different medications. Well, she's got legit multiple personality disorder. She's talked about it. And I don't think they call it multiple personality disorder anymore. I think they have a new name for it, but it's just a noise. Really good rebranding fucking mental illnesses. Like, come on, man. It's like, this is what it is. It is multiple personality disorder. She has a bunch of different people. And, you know, if you talk to people that have been around her and see her switch from personality to personality, you realize, like, oh. And, you know, a lot of this also came from head trauma. She's one of several comedians that became a different person because of head trauma. I think she was hit by a car as well. Sam Kinneson, same thing, hit by a car. And also, you know, she was in a car accident. I don't know if it was child molestation or rape. Yeah, it was that too. Dissociative identity disorder. That's what they're calling it now. And she also can't fucking tell the difference between Twitter and a green room. Because if every single comic was recorded, the dark shit that we say in green rooms, because we're comics and we say the worst possible thing. Especially to make each other laugh. Yeah, exactly. Because you go to the darkest areas and you say all the wrong words and you say the most racist thing to your black comic friend and he says the fucking worst thing to you about your fucking ugly fucking teeth. Or your fat or your fucking stupid. And if she walked into the green room and said that about that lady, we would be laughing. We would be laughing. Except we didn't think that lady was laughing. Except we wouldn't know who she was. And then if she was saying something racist, you'd look at the picture and go, I don't get it. I had no understanding of who that woman was. I never had heard of her before until Roseanne got fired. And I was like, who is this lady? You know, she's saying she's a Muslim brotherhood and then Roseanne said that she thought she was Jewish. I was like, okay. If you read- She's like, I didn't think she was black. I thought she was Jewish. And then I looked at the picture. I go, all right, well, yeah. The fucking—that's not a cut and dry one. If you read two years of Roseanne's tweets, that would not be the one that stood out. She just says fucking insane stuff that makes no sense all the time. What did she say that Susan Rice, she said, was a great big ape with—no, a man. Oh, she's a man with giant swinging ape balls. This was like five years ago. And then five years later, they give her that sitcom and can't believe she's acting crazy. I completely fault ABC seeing a fucking cash cow that— They thought they could handle her. Yeah. Hey, we can make a lot of money by giving a toddler a pistol. Well, you know what else she said? She felt like she was being removed. But he has to promise not to. What? She felt like she was being removed from the creative process, too. There was a bunch of things going on even before this and that this was like one of the final steps, but that they were— She was having a hard time with the whole process, and she was definitely having a hard time with being overworked. She's like, I am old. What did you do an episode about the Illuminati and Zionism? What? Maybe we should get you out of the writers' room. Well, no, it wouldn't be a bad idea to do an episode about her thinking that everything is the Illuminati. I mean, that's fucking gold comedy there. There's so much there. I had explained to her Creme Trails. But the thing is, different than anybody that I've ever talked to about these kind of— these kind of wacky conspiracy theories, when I explained to her how those clouds are made, she went, oh, okay. She just let it go. Like, most of them don't fucking let it go. If you tell them that, well, you see those planes, they're spraying overhead, and you go, no, no, no. It's the heat of the engine, the condensation, the atmosphere. It's actually creating a cloud. It's just the water vapor, and it mixes with the heat of this engine. It makes clouds. That's all it is. Roseanne just goes, okay. Like, just let it go. Like, everybody else is like, bullshit, man. There's fucking documents. There's papers. The CIA has admitted it. It's one of the hardest things in the world. When you get a stupid conspiracy theory in your head, one of the hardest things in the world is to just go, mmm, that might be bullshit.