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Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian, actor, podcaster, and author. He co-hosts two podcasts: “Your Mom’s House” with his wife, comedian Christina Pazsitzky, and “Two Bears, One Cave” with Bert Kreischer. He is also the author of “I’d Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays.” Watch his comedy series, “Bad Thoughts,” now streaming on Netflix. www.ymhstudios.com https://www.netflix.com/title/81740857
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Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comic, podcaster, and actor. He's the host of "The Bertcast" podcast and YouTube cooking program "Something's Burning." He's also the co-host of the "2 Bears, 1 Cave" podcast with fellow comedian Tom Segura. Watch his latest special, "Lucky," on Netflix. www.bertbertbert.com
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Yeah, like what would be the stakes? Looks gotta be uh It's gotta be something that we can all participate in Floyd Mayweather Manny Pacquiao, too. Ooh, that's a great one front row We're talking about that Yeah, by the way, by the way Say whatever you want about me being on my phone the entire time I have the best fucking video from that of the last the lat them scoring a touchdown Yeah, I videotape the touchdown and then cut to Tom and Ari Yeah, no, it's great. That was a really fun fucking weekend that was dude big dad places going That's where Larry the cable guy performs. Oh my god Forms places like that. That's how big his audiences are When's Floyd Mayweather Pacquiao? I don't know. I think it's in December. Is it in December? Okay, it might be in Japan though What oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fucking so we might be I have a book to get so I don't know There's just talk that it might be there Wow guys. Oh, let's go to that But also that's like asking already There's no way he could win right so someone has to know someone has to win But more importantly one person is gonna lose Oh, yeah, like if you beat me and I beat you that I mean chicks were all beaten Ari Yeah, it's like a skins game He's all right it but you know, he's gonna be like I'm not doing the fucking maybe but maybe he's listening this right now He's doing should we call him? He's getting any sober which Mike might stew even more I'm gonna win What if Ari goes crazy just fucking goes whole hog every day He could hours a day takes spin classes and CrossFit classes and where's it during jujitsu? Floyd Mayweather his plan and come back in Tokyo before his rematch with Manny pack So he wants a tune-up fight, huh that might not be real Yeah, I'm you know, would you go to that you would you go to the fight though? Yes, it'd be an interesting fight I mean, they're both past their prime, but it should be a fun event too. Yeah, I mean Pacquiao just knocked out Lucas Matisse and Floyd hasn't fought in a year since he beat Conor McGregor But that's not a real boxing. I mean, it's a boxing match But it's not a boxing match at an elite level like if he was if he was boxing Terrence Crawford or someone who's like at The very top now he's not in that kind of like zone right now, but he's still the best ever You know if not the one of a handful of the greatest boxers in the history of the world ever You know, no question. What we should do is tear the tear the winnings Okay, first place pays for nothing whole weekend. I like this idea Second place pays for their pays for their ticket whatever is least expensive right for their ticket and nothing else third place plays for All hotels Or something like right off so that's a place just pays the most out, but he's not he's not dropping All right, so fourth place say the last place person Has to cover flights, but they can use their miles see the problem is Ari's bets are like no No, the loser has to wear a beard of my pubes. Yeah, and he's got a he's got a clean his face with my comb Fucking all of his suggestions so psychotic drink all of our piss Solid over my shoulder. She goes no no we're not drinking everyone's piss He said like one of these like you gotta be a panhandler for six hours on the Yeah, he's yeah, he wanted us to do really ridiculous shit Like the street naked the tears of paying for it, so it's like not all it's a good idea Right so one person doesn't take the whole beating first place pays nothing That's true the first place should be I don't cover shit the first place should get like a belt we should make a belt sure So rock to a belt a real one like a real real one October Sober October belt champ who's the champ yeah Jamie, and you see this is a project I need you to look up where you would get a pro wrestling belt And not no knockoff shit Oh my god, I just got I just found my inner voice when I work out that fucking belt just whoa my god I'm in a voice. It's so excited inner voice, so you're gonna start doing your two days But I might be doing three days. Oh look at him. Look at him. He's serious. He's excited now dude. Oh Now tell him he ain't shit, and there's no way he'll win this will you fire him up even more Yeah, I know tell me I can't run a marathon you definitely run a marathon, but there's no way you'll win this though There's no way you'll win Wow Tommy's got reverse psychology. We could get a Pepsi belt who fuck wants a Pepsi belt I Know a guy he's diabetic so what which? Which we have on the is that me up on the right there? Okay, so we found a company that makes belts what is the name of this company pro and belts nice, okay, so we need Some sort of a logo we need like sober October is definitely the name of it right sober October belt and undisputed Sober October champ yeah, and we like diamond champ. Oh, yeah, what should we have on it? So guys should be our faces engraved in it should it be like the like the no smoking sign no booze sign No needles Yeah Yeah, so we'll have to come up with how long take to make one of these belts Let's find out hey listen whoever pro-am belts if you're listening three to four weeks Oh So if we finish the design by the end of this week we might be able to have it at the end of the month You might be holding up that belt up. How's that feel? You definitely will not be holding up the ball. I'll definitely see the mere Joe. No way flights lodging tickets This is missing you there's no way You've never worked out with them. I've worked out with them what happens. Oh he gives up He's gonna work out together. No done like hotel like pre-show Before yeah, and we did actually we went when we were in Phoenix we went to a like a MMA gym. Oh, that's right Yeah, that's right. We did we worked out. Yeah, I'm Tom. I used to go to Barry's boot camp together What happened I don't mind we're throwing up if I work out Like I like I and then I go like you enjoy it I do because I know that I've done it as hard as I can do it