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Bert Kreischer is a stand-up comic, podcaster, and actor. He's the host of "The Bertcast" podcast and YouTube cooking program "Something's Burning." He's also the co-host of the "2 Bears, 1 Cave" podcast with fellow comedian Tom Segura. Watch his latest special, "Lucky," on Netflix. www.bertbertbert.com
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Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian, actor, podcaster, and author. He co-hosts two podcasts: “Your Mom’s House” with his wife, comedian Christina Pazsitzky, and “Two Bears, One Cave” with Bert Kreischer. He is also the author of “I’d Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays.” Watch his comedy series, “Bad Thoughts,” now streaming on Netflix. www.ymhstudios.com https://www.netflix.com/title/81740857
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See I would have automatically... The term all left sounds made up. Yeah. But what are they alternative to the right of? It's the idea is it's young right. So okay, but assholes. So the right, if you think of conservative, you would think of Lindsey Graham. You think of people that are probably racist but they keep it under wraps. They have slippery shoes. Dude, I thought Lindsey Graham was a chick until this week. Really? I literally went, that's a dude? I thought it was a six million dollar woman. He's got that southern accent that you can't tell if it's gay or not. It's the same thing. It's like, well I'll do the clap. That's just the biggest one I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. This is weird watching these Kavanaugh hearings. The whole thing is so strange. Oh you got to keep your head down if you do not agree with the... Like I just tweeted that, can you imagine defending your high school yearbook? That's all I tweeted. And it was a fucking shit show. I saw that, yeah. And I was like, I'm fucking out. People can't recognize that you're not in support of this guy, you're not in support of anything like it, but it's a real thing. And I'm not going to sit there and virtue signal simply so that people know, oh I'm on your team. I'm just a fucking comedian. You're just making an observation really. Can you imagine defending your high school yearbook? Don't be a fucking insane. You remember Hicks' bit about Clarence Thomas? No. No, I'm sure I've heard it. Hicks had a bit about Clarence Thomas when they were trying to bring him into Supreme Court. Oh man, I wish I could remember exactly how the bit went, but it was a great bit. But it was about his porn collection. You know, like Mr. Hicks. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. You're not familiar at all with Clam Lapos, volume one through dandy. All of them? That's what he says. All of them? That was just like this funny bit, but like, you know, it was examining. That was funny, by the way. Lindsey Graham, do you see, like after he left where they decided, they voted on that they're going to, well, they voted that it's going to move to the floor, but they decided like, you know, we'll try to do this extra week of the FBI investigation. And then he goes, somebody's going to have to explain this to Trump. I guess that'll be me. Like to the press. Basically, that is a not so subtle way of being like, dumb, dumb doesn't get it. Did you see what Trump said to one of the fucking reporters today? No, one of the female reporters said he goes, he pointed to a woman and he said, go ahead. And he goes, she can't, she's speechless. She can't believe I called on her. And she goes, well, I didn't think he goes. Yeah, you don't think. Yeah, I get that. I'm sorry. And she goes, I'm sorry, sir. Like, listen to this. Listen to this. Listen to this. You never do. Jesus. Listen to this. Listen to this. He can't help himself. He's crazy. Yeah. She's shocked that I picked her. I'm not thinking. That's okay. I know you're not thinking. You never do. I'm sorry. No, go ahead. Why? That's our president. That's such a crazy thing to say to someone. No, I know you're not thinking. You never do. She must be someone that's written really negative things about him. He knows, you know, he's got that hit list and every day. Is this that piece of shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. It's all the whole thing's man. He keeps a record here. They have records of, you know, anyone who's slighted them, anyone who's written anything bad, said anything. For sure, man. See, I'm...